# corn ethics

ive got 2 math degrees and i will Cause Problems

[benevolenterrancy]

table manners

[benevolenterrancy]

@fuzzprobably indignity after indignity...

[pangur-and-grim]

HE'S SO CUTE

[pangur-and-grim]

my parents did that with me. I was all purple and swollen and crusty and fat as hell, and apparently my extended family asked if I was alright. I'm not even offended because I've seen the photos, and yeah. yikes. none of this is relevant, though, because Belphegor is objectively cute

[brdrlneprsnltydsrdr]

[rt0no]

[horrificgoth]

(crawls on all fours with blood drenched on me) I have to do arts and crafts

[byjove]

“my husband suddenly decided he didn’t like the food I cooked and stopped eating it” ok. let him starve. I say this as an autistic person with sensory issues surrounding food, if your grown ass husband refuses to eat a dish you and your kids enjoy, he can make himself a PB&J.

[daisycaterina]

Growing up as a picky eater the rule was “try it, and if you don’t like it make something else” and it perplexes me that this is a foreign concept to grown men

[byjove]

It’s more about the learned helplessness these grown ass men display. Being a picky eater? Whatever. I get it. Refusing to feed yourself? Fucking ridiculous. If you don’t like what your wife cooked because it’s too spicy or there is too texture or whatever, don’t make it her problem. Don’t make her feel bad about it. Feed yourself.

[visenyaism]

top five worst ways to be found:

5. out

4. guilty

3. wanting

2. lacking

1. by this email

[visenyaism]

It has come to my attention that I forgot about dead

[is-that-sand-in-my-waffles]

rule #1 of tumblr polls is NEVER include a joke option if you don't want it to win by a landslide because tumblr users have one committed relationship in their lives and it's to the bit

[redbuddi]

Things that don't exist in Scooby-Doo:

Ghosts

Things that exist in Scooby-Doo:

Jetpacks

Aliens

Instant Hypnosis

Machines that put you in the computer

Realistic hologram technology

Were-Cats

Meteors made of Gold

Self-Aware AI

Underground Egypt Cult

Cthulhu

Soul-Sucking Triangles

Transylvania, PA

Moon Resort

Magical Space Guardians

Transgender Potion

Courage the Cowardly Dog

Warlocks

Ghosts

[coffeepeople]

the thing about tumblr is that I'm so entrenched here that they can make stupid ugly updates to the site all they want. I'll just sign in and go "ugh fine, I'll work around it" and then continue to post things I wouldn't even tell a therapist.

[lemecestmoi]

Choose one

[inthefallofasparrow]

[were--ralph]

Tumblr is unique bc like. It's collaborative shitposting and you can't opt in or out. You can just say something about your day then an evil wizard shows up to turn your post into something humorous

Every other site is just one and done, but here a post is a welcome mat to be funnier than you

[evilwizard]

yeah or sometimes you’ll see a post that hacks into your brain and forever rewrites your instinctual reaction to seeing a pineapple explode

[were--ralph]

[hellsitegenetics]

String identified: T c . t' caat ttg a ca't t t. ca t a tg at a t a a t t t t tg t t t a , t a t a c at t ta a t ’ a t tat ac t a a t tcta act t g a a

Closest match: Jodis lactearia genome assembly, chromosome: 6 Common name: Little Emerald

(image source)

[roostingwindow]

I was so smitten with this moth

[hbmmaster]

did you know? the phrase "named after" doesn't technically state anything other than the order in which two things were named. I was named after snoopy

[wobbuffentanyl]

[hbmmaster]

[wobbuffentanyl]

[genderfluid-druid]

hurr hurr I'm a human body hurr hurr I'm gonna solve all my problems using mucus

[genderfluid-druid]

"i require more fluids" well what did you do with the fluids I already gave you. hmm? did you make more mucus with them? you made more mucus with them.

[victusinveritas]

[the-lost-alchemist]

How Mexicans feel about duendes too.

[designertrances]

True. Most Irish people, as Norwegians do with Trolls, will happily let the 'fairies' be a thing to make tours for tourists and idle threats to make children behave. Most Irish people will have a very normal and mature explanation of fairies as a common folk mythology that expresses some dimension of Irish culture but are not, obviously, to be taken literally.

And most Irish people, if you ask them to move a stone from a fairy circle will immoveably, flatly respond with 'absolutely fucking not'.

Construction projects have had to halt and be abandoned for it.

[roach-works]

At work me and a couple coworkers (black, white, and mexican) had a fun discussion on whether there are more ghosts at a hospital or a cemetery.

everyone individually took a moment to specify that ghosts probably aren't REAL real. then weighed in on where and why.

for the record my position was that there's probably way more ghosts in hospitals because that's where people die horribly, but since you can only see ghosts in dark, solitary conditions, graveyards at night is where the majority of ghost sightings occur. hospitals are usually well lit and busy, so even if they're crammed with ghosts the living are too damn busy to see them. meanwhile if a cemetery has even one ghost that followed her corpse there from the hospital, she'll be spotted because that's where all the ghost hunters go to look.

this theory was received as extremely sensible, and a coworker drew the conclusion that that's why abandoned hospitals are even scarier than graveyards. once the place gets abandoned then you can tell how much ghosts got built up.

we all liked this explanation a lot and explained it to everyone else all night. and of course, none of us believe in ghosts.

[kyraneko]

Beliefs that are more interacted with than believed are so awesome sometimes.

Like this magical supernatural entity almost certainly doesn't actually exist, but that's no excuse to be impolite to them.

[moonlitlillypop]

She placebo on my effect til I feel like something happened

[hellsitegenetics]

String identified:

Closest match:

[lycankeyy-moved]

[lonk-water]

Killing You