Medieval Essentials is a functional set made for immersive medieval gameplay. Instead of decorating just one room, this collection reimagines modern necessities in a way that keeps their gameplay purpose without breaking the illusion of living in another era.
The kitchen includes a pantry that works as a fridge, counters, modular wall shelves, a stove, a table island, a sink, and a bucket-trashbin. Everything functions off the grid, so your Sims can cook and store food the old-fashioned way.
The bathroom offers simple hygiene essentials: a rudimentary toilet, a basket-style sink for washing, a shower with a hanging cruche, and a privacy screen.
For scholars and scribes, the set also includes a scriptorium area with a desk, chair, and writing station that functions as a computer (so the animation and sounds will be weird, sorry 😝). It’s the only item not off-the-grid, as custom tuning is not in my skills. Bookshelves, scroll shelves, and a working off-the-grid candle complete the scholarly corner, alongside a grand tapestry inspired by authentic patterns.
And for Eco Living DLC owners, a windmill and a well help generate electricity and water. Because even medieval Sims deserve utilities ⛲
Description
This set contains 28 new items maxis-match and basegame compatible (except for the windmill and well that requires Eco Living DLC). Every functional items works Off-The-Grod escept for the sciptorium.
sometimes i like to think that the if the lads guys were friends, they'd get together to drink... and when they've had a little bit too much, they like to give each other little kisses on the cheek, on the lips if they're a little more daring... just little friendly kisses before they burst out into laughter and slap each other on the back... but then one night, they dare each other to give longer kisses and before they know it, rafayel and caleb are making out, and xavier has video evidence... they watch the clips the next day and you can hear sylus drunkenly yelling at them to use tongue while zayne goes "ohmygodohmygodohmygodddd are you seeing this"... they make xavier delete the evidence and promise each other they won't speak about it and all of them swear off alcohol for the next few months
Hi, it's been a while... yes it's a fic.. my first fic for this fandom and on tumblr. It's a Game of Throne AU (I hope I can write it so that it's easy to understand for people who didn't watch the serie/read the books). I don't know when I will update it or if i will ever finish it (I have problems with long fics) BUT I hope you can enjoy it. Also big thanks to @moon335000 for helping me with GoT lore and the other people of Cleaning Up The Timeline Discord server to incouraging me into posting this. Love You All ♡♡♡
Tags: Royal AU, Game of Throne AU, future Poly, f!reader, no use of Y/N, 4.6K words
1 - The Fortress and The Princess
Horses and carriages streamed into the Redkeep, one after the other, like ants to the nest. From the bright colours of the southern houses, from the cold colours of the northern ones, everyone from the seven kingdoms seemed to have accepted the letter from the king. The commotion of armour and suitcases had distracted you from the small council meeting, which you were required to attend, even if your presence felt more like a nuisance to the men at the table than a real help. As a matter of fact, you were seated in the further away seat there was in the room, that being a chair next to the window.
"The last suitors are expected to arrive today, my King. They will be placed in the southern wing of the Red Keep, far from the royal quarters". The Hand of the King took the floor pointing the areas on the map of the fortress beneath his hands. "Guard shifts have been strengthened, and no one except authorized servants are allowed in the royal quarters wing, as per your request". The King nodded, looking straight ahead, his hands busy fiddling with a scale model of a soldier.
"And the banquet?".
"Preparations are almost complete". The Master of Coin replied. "We've organized a tournament and even a hunt to entertain our guest, all expenses are covered, and we didn't even have to borrow from the bank". He seemed pleased with his skills, but the King didn't give him satisfaction in this regard. He simply nodded. The council looked at the sovereign waiting for him to let them return to their business or say something else.
"We've received reports from some fishermen of strange ships sailing our seas." The Master of Laws broke the silence, pointing to the specific location on the map of the kingdom's lands. You leaned forward from your seat, trying to see as much as you could. It was Dragonstone, a strategic outpost, but now practically abandoned. "We sent a troop to investigate; apparently it was just a couple kids who got lost while playing with their father's ship." His tone was calm and confident, like he had everything under his control. "Naturally, they were sent back."
The king nodded once more before rising from his chair. All the council members looked up at him, ready to carry out his every command. "The council is closed". He announced before leaving. You followed your father with the gaze, his face marked by deep wrinkles, the model still in his hand and his knuckles white. Now you were alone with the council, who seemed oblivious of your presence, or at least ignoring it. They discussed in hushed tones the king's condition, the kingdom, and personal affairs.
"Get back to your business, be punctual for the presentation of the suitors." You ordered them, rising from your chair and leaving the room. You could feel the men's stares behind your back, but you were used to it by now. They considered you a nuisance, but after all, the king had already announced you would be his heir to the Iron Throne.
As you left the hall, Caleb was waiting for you. His silver crown on the top plate of the armour gleamed in the sunlight, while his white cloak draped over his shoulders. It hadn't been long since the King had appointed Caleb as the newest member of the Kingsguard, giving him the role of the princess's personal guard. A shadow that watched over you, morning and night, making sure you were protected and safe.
You bowed your head in greeting before walking toward your chambers, Caleb following you at your side. Since he had received his new title, it was rare for you to have a moment together, like the ones you once had. It felt like only yesterday that you were studying together the history of the land and would play in the Godswood together. Now you were the heir and he was your guard.
"It's not often that the King calls a small council first thing in the morning." Caleb's voice broke the silence of the long corridors, his pace matching yours.
"He just wanted to know about the preparations," You replied. "I'm very worried about him, Caleb." You sighed, pausing to look out a window at the golden cloaks and servants bustling back and forth through the courtyards of the Redkeep.
Caleb stopped on his track before getting closer, his shoulders slumped, his posture leaning on the wall next to you, before he looked you in the eyes. "Are you worried about your father or yourself?".
You smiled, it has always been difficult hiding things to him, he could always read you like the palm of his hand. "Caleb, this is my duty".
"I know". He stopped you. He hesitated, looking around before leaning closer, his forehead resting on yours. "But that doesn't mean you can't be scared, that you have to keep it all inside."
You both closed your eyes, letting the world fade away for a moment. And you were children again, hiding under the covers during stormy nights, giggling while making fun of the septs and falling asleep by reading the old legends of Valyria. You didn't notice your bodies getting closer, your breaths mixing together, until you heard someone approaching. You were apart as soon as the servants entered the corridor, bowing their head to the princess and her guard.
"I'll be here when you need me, my princess." He bowed before leading you to your bedchamber.
Tara, your lady in waiting, was much more excited to meet the suitors then you were. "They're all very nice, Princess." She repeated, pouring herself another glass of wine. While you were being dressed by the maids, Tara had decided to keep you company and gossip a little.
"I saw them all as they entered the keep." She continued between sips as the servants start combing your hair. It usually relaxed you, feeling each knot being unravelled felt like each problem was being resolved, but this was not happening today. "The last lords from the North arrived today: Andrew of House Mormont, Nero of House Tully, Zayne-."
"Zayne?". You turned around, stopping the servant, to look at Tara, heart almost leaping out of your chest. As you felt everyone gaze on you, you cleaned your throat, trying to hide the flush in your cheeks. "The third son of House Stark".
"Yes him". She giggled at your way of trying to hide your enthusiasm. "You know him, right? I heard he lived here for a while with her aunt, is that true, my princess?". She sipped another bit of wine, looking at you from the edge of the cup. It was obvious she wanted to know more from you.
You nodded with a sigh. "Yes, his parents thought the southern air would benefit him". You couldn't deny that you were more than happy to see your friend from childhood again. But you knew, deep down, that something must have happened. You two had maintained a close correspondence after he left to go back in the north. It was a few years ago when he sent you a raven telling you how he will start his studies in the Citadel. When you read that, you'd resigned yourself to seeing him again. If he became a Maester he would stay in the Citadel or be send to someone lord, meaning it would impossible to see him. Then a few months ago the new came.
"But there aren't only Lords' sons, my princess?" Tara continued, trying to distract you from your worries. "I even saw the prince of house Martell himself".
"The prince of house Martell? Isn't that a little too old for me?". You titter at your friend's words, taking a sip of wine yourself. Tara said it was good for the nerves and you desperately needed to relax.
"Oh no, my princess, not at all." Tara chuckled. "He doesn't look old at all, I would say more handsome, maybe even pretty." She was about to say more before one of the guards entered the room.
"Princess, it's about time." Your smile darkened before you nodded. The maids had finished dressing you. The red and the gold in the dress showing off the wealth and the name of your house, as well as your hair tied back with ribbons made of gold and pearls. Even your neck and ears were adorned with rubies. You looked at yourself again in the mirror, perfectly fix to meet your suitors, nothing out of place. Definitely not reflecting the anxiety brewing in your stomach mouth. You finished the rest of your wine and turn to the guard.
"Well, then we'd better not keep them waiting."
You were now facing the doors of the throne room. You could already hear the buzz of people on the other side; the suitors and the court were simply awaiting your arrival, after the king had already introduced himself and thanked those who had answered his call. And now it was your turn, to enter and meet the suitors, accept their gifts, and thank them for coming, before everything would start.
Yet you couldn't move from your position, standing right in front of that door. Your hands clenched in your lap as you counted the grain of the wood for the umpteenth time again and again. It must have been an old tree the one they used, maybe the door was even older than your great-grandparents.
"Princess?" Caleb's voice broke you from your trance. "They're waiting for you." Even though his words were dutiful, his eyes said otherwise. Just one word and we'll go back to your room. Caleb was the most attentive to your needs, always asking with his gaze if you were okay, if you needed space, if you needed to flee from this. More often than not, when you were kids, he would propose to run away and go in some distant land, like the one of the stories. It was a cute dream for your kid self, but a dream nonetheless.
You smiled at him, before looking back at the door and making a sign to the servant to open it.
"Princess Y/N of House Lannister, heir of the Seven Kingdoms and the Iron Throne." The Hand of the King announced your name as you walked to your seat, an elegant chair under the Iron Throne, where your father sat observing the presentation of the suitors.
The throne room was packed with people, with the court and the retinues of the various suitors. The latter were standing before the Iron Throne, bowing before you. You bowed your head in thanks, before sitting down.
"Please, get up my lords, I welcome you all". You thanked them, trying to keep your voice still, making sure to be the leader you one day will be. After the suitors got up it would go as you and the Hand of the King had rehearsed: each lord would be announced by the Hand, by the name and their titles, then the suitor would take a few steps forward, present their gift and at the end you would thank them and accept it.
"Xavier of House Arryn, heir of the Vale."
The suitor stepped forward, his hair was a very dull blonde, almost white, while his eyes a light accent of blue, similar to the colour of his blue over-dress. "Princess." He bowed first with his head for a few seconds, then with his entire torso, as if unsure of what to do. "I come here to present myself as your suitor, and I have come here with a gift."
He stepped aside before another man, with brown hair and clothed in the same colours of Xavier, arrived with a jewel box. Xavier opened it before revealing its contents. "I wanted to bring the princess some jewels as a gift." He said, holding a silver necklace with four-pointed stars, each set with a lapis lazuli. "I know my house colours are the opposite of yours, but I wanted to give you the jewels my mother received for her wedding."
The court start to whisper between themselves, if you listen to them, you could almost hear them say it was a cheap gift, but the lord seems to noticed, cleaning his throat. "It's a tradition in my family, that sons bring their mother's jewels as gifts". Xavier explained bowing again. You smiled nodding to a servant to get the jewel box.
"I hope I can give them the honour they deserve and that I can wear them as well as your mother, my lord." You thanked him, waiting for the next suitor to present himself. It was easier that what you thought: smile, thanks, next. You were even relaxing on your chair, until a familiar face didn't present himself in front of you.
"Zayne of House Stark." The Hand of the King presented him, even if it didn't need much presentation.
"Princess." The raven-haired man bowed, before looking up at you. His hazel eyes locked on yours for a few seconds longer than necessary, then looking towards the king. "Your Majesty". He bowed again to the king, who seemed to appreciate the gesture.
"Zayne, it's a pleasure to see you here after so many years." The sovereign leaned forward, one hand supporting his chin. "Hope your parents are good now, it must be a tragedy lose both their oldest sons".
"They are still grieving their death, my king". He responded. "But even in our mourning we could find some happiness in your letter".
The king seemed pleased by his answer, letting him going with the presentation. After that, Zayne turned towards one of the men in his retinue with a package in his hand. "I brought the princess this direwolf fur". He said showing a cloak with all around its neck a beautiful and lustrous pelt, black as pitch. "Not only is the pelt of the animal representing my house, but it's also noble and strong, as the princess herself".
You try to not blush at his words, to not show any type of favouritism, but how could you. You always told him how much you wanted a cloak like the one they wear in the north, and here he was gifting you that. "I thank you, and I hope you can find some solace from your grieving". You said looking him in the eyes, again a little more than necessary. You can almost hear the court starting to whisper about it, before a cough interrupted the moment. Zayne bowed again, before going back to his position.
"Rafayel Martell, Prince of Dorne".
The last of the suitor presented himself and you finally understood why Tara called him pretty. The curls of his hair where a magnificent shade of purple, as his eyes that looked like the ocean illuminated by the last light of the sun. His clothes were an explosion patterns with shades of reds and oranges, with golden jewels adoring his hands and neck. He stepped forward with a deep and graceful bow.
"I am beyond honoured that our ruler sent a raven to our house." His voice was charming, his hands moving in elegant way to accompany his words. "Having no children in my name, nor nephews, I thought appropriate to present myself as a suitor, of course with gifts." He smiled before snapping his fingers, immediately a man, with grey hair, approached with a golden chest with gems.
"I wanted to bring as a gift the most precious and delicate silks that the best artisan of my land has created". He continued, picking up one of the silks kept inside. It was red like the colours of your house, yet in the various folds of the fabric, the colour seemed to change into gold. The prince moved closer towards you, triggering the concern of the guards who immediately mobilized to protect the royal family, even Caleb had already his hand on his sword and a foot in front of you.
The prince looked at them with a risen eyebrow before puffing. “I just want to show the princess the fabric; how can she really understand the quality of the gift if she hasn't even touched them?”. He explained continuing to advance towards you. Everything stopped for a second, the guards looking at the king, to see if he would give some kind of order. But nothing, he simply leaned back on his sit, fingers playing with the edge of one of the many swords in the Iron Throne.
You yourself weren’t worried about him getting closer, until you noticed how close he got. He was right on your side, his head bowing at your level, just a few breaths away from you. From this close you could smell the perfumed oils permeating his skin, sandalwood and orchid. "Touch it, princess, it's not going to bite you". His voice seemed even more seductive from this close, making your face flush even more.
You reach out your hand under his watch, touching the fabric in his hands, it was soft and light, much more luxurious than others you had worn before. "They are excellent as you have said, my prince."
“Please, call me Rafayel”. He smiled tilting his head slightly in your direction, almost hiding the rest of the room. You felt your face get even more hot and together with his fragrance it was starting to make you dizzy. Too close.
But those few seconds were interrupted by the sudden opening of the main door of the throne room. The whole court and the suitors turned towards whoever was entering. This wasn't in the plans for the day, no one was supposed to enter this late during the ceremony. White and golden capes immediately mobilized to protect the king and the princess, Caleb drawing his sword, getting in front of you and the prince. Even him, from his relaxed form, rise up and put his hand on the hip, where you just realized a dagger was resting.
Even though there were two men in front of you, you could see a man walking towards the centre of the room. Your jaw dropped. The man looked like the pirates in your old storybook: he wore a red shirt with puffy sleeves, and yet his chest was exposed; his pants were puffed too, going to the knees, before disappearing inside a high black boot. Each piece of clothing was decorated with silvery pattern. On his wait a long red scarf was kept in place with a belt with two short swords. But what caught more your attention was his face: in fact, his eyes were a deep red colour, similar to the leaves of the heart tree, and his hair were long and a candid white colour, like the snow Zayne talked so much about. His voice was hoarse and deep; he didn't even need to raise his voice in the dead silent room.
"I hope I'm not too late for introductions." His strides were long and confident, but they stopped right at the bottom of the stairs that conduct to your chair. "Sylus Targaryen, last of my name, and recently Lord of Dragonstone."
The silence that followed quickly ended. The court was screaming in panic trying to flee away, but more men blocked the room. The guards were already at the man's neck, pointing their sword at him, while Caleb was trying to lead you away. You tried to stop your Caleb, of course you couldn't leave now, you had to stay and hear what this Sylus wanted, but the more you struggled, the tighter was Caleb's grip. If it wasn't for more armed men blocking your way to the second door, they would have been out of there already.
All of this while the king was paralyzed, his hands gripping the swords that made up the throne, blood coming from his palms.
As more and more men entered the room, dressed like Sylus, the king couldn't just watch as his position was jeopardized. "What does all this mean? Dragonstone is crown territory!"
"No longer I'm afraid". The white hair man replied moving away a blade to close to his face. "It was recently returned to its rightful owner a few days ago." He smirked knowingly. "It wasn't difficult really; the fortress was practically deserted."
At those words, the court gasped and whispered, and it wasn't too difficult to understand about what. How could the king leave such a stronghold unguarded for anyone to conquer? The jaw of the king was tight, looking at the man with fury.
"But I didn't come here to usurp the king's throne, but to propose myself as a suitor for the princess's hand." Only then did the man look at the princess, and in that moment you felt your heart beat faster. Not from fear, but from the fascination he exuded. You had never seen a man with hair so pale, reaching past his shoulders, looking at you like he did. His gaze says what he was now expressing with his words.
"If, of course, it pleases you, princess". It was the first time anyone had approached you directly to let you decide. And now all eyes were on you. Even Caleb, his wide purple eyes as if to tell you it was too dangerous and not to trust him. But you put your hand to his golden chest plate. "I'm fine". You whispered to him, moving back to your chair.
You didn't seat, but looked at him. "I think my lord-".
"Call me Sylus, that's what my peers call me."
You were surprised for a moment before continuing. "Sylus, I don't think my father sent you a raven about it".
"That's true, but I didn't think there were any special requirements, such as receiving ravens, to participate." He crossed his arms, one hand going to his chin. "Well, apart from being a lord, which I now am by having Dragonstone in my possession, aren't I princess?".
"Well, that is true-".
"Also, I have brought gifts, like the other suitors". He continued as two boys, no older than 16, approached with massive iron chests. "Does that make me that different from the others, princess?".
You looked at the Hand of the King, not knowing what else to say. He wasn't wrong about it. "And what gifts would you have brought me, Sylus?".
He smirked before opening the chest. From inside smoke and heat come out, before Sylus took out one of the gifts. The court gasped again seeing what he had in his hand. “What I bring to the princess are dragon eggs.”
"And how can we trust your word?". Prince Rafayel asked leaning on one of his hips. While the whole court was in an uproar, he was calm, almost bored by the arrival of an unexpected guest.
"Do you mean to say I'm a fake?"
“I just want to say that I don't trust a merchant from Essos, because that's who you are, first and foremost.” He snorted, placing a hand on his hip, to where, you know, he held a dagger. "You can be immediately recognized by the clothes you wear."
Sylus didn't seem angry at the prince's words, but smirked. "And what proof can I give you, prince?".
You didn't miss the click of the prince's tongue against his teeth, his hand even closer to the dagger. He didn't seem to like the way the merchant rolls his tongue on his title, like if he was making fun of him. Things could escalate at any moment if you didn't do nothing about it.
"I can control it." Zayne, who had been pushed aside by one of the guards, stepped forward. You felt your heart jump. For how much Sylus looked charming, you still didn't trust, and definitely didn't trust a pacifist like Zayne to go near him. "I studied at the Citadel long enough to recognize a fake from an original, I can check the validity of his statements." He proposed looking at you, waiting for your permission.
You know Zayne was caution enough to not put himself in danger, but knowing him he would go to him without anything to defend himself, it worried you. But with a nod you let him get closer. Zayne then approached Sylus, without a rudder, without weapons on him.
Sylus looked him up and down before passing him the egg he had in his hands, but not before saying something in Zayne's ear. Zayne seemed to freeze, but only for a second, before continuing. He took the egg in his hand and examined it: touching it, listening to it, looking at every little detail. After that he looked at the other egg.
"The eggs are real, but it's been decades since the last dragon flew the skies, I think they've turned to stone by now."
"Stone?". Sylus asked rising an eyebrow, his arms crossing on his chest again.
"It can happen that unhatched eggs calcify, that is, they turn to stone." Zayne explained methodically as he returned the eggs to their rightful owner. “So, the eggs are unlikely to hatch.”
Sylus looked at him in silence, before putting the egg back in the iron chest. "How do you know I want to open them?".
"For a Targaryen is nothing without a dragon."
The white hair man didn't seem to like his words, but they were true. The Targaryens did not have the dragon as a crest just for aesthetics. Sylus looked at the king, who was still sitting on the throne, his hands gripping the armrests made of swords, before looking back at the princess. "So princess? Can I be one of your suitors?".
You gulped at his question, all eyes in the room on you, even your father's behind your back. Everyone was now hanging on your lips, to know what you would decide about this man who had infiltrated the castle and got everyone in a hostage situation. A few words and you would ever welcome in or send him to the deepest and darkest cell.
"I accept your gift, Sylus-".
"On one condition". The King spoke, finally speaking after many minutes of silence. “If you want to marry my daughter, the eggs must hatch”.
All court and suitors began to whisper, even you were surprised by your father proposal. After what Zayne just said, it looked like an impossible task, it was like accepting a losing bet. And yet Sylus smirked looking right in the eyes of the King. "Deal".
After that all Sylus' men disappear, just a few bunches remain behind in the fortress, enough to assist their lord. The court and the suitors were sent back to their rooms, even Sylus, to which was given a temporary accommodation in the servants' quarters, a little outside the Maegor's fortress. You too were in your room with Caleb.
"It was too risky a decision". He told you again as he paced back and forth. "This is a dangerous man, he is not a simple merchant from Essos if he managed to conquer Dragonstone; sure, the fortress was open, but there were soldiers left inside, how did he get rid of them without raising suspicion for days?".
He had been like that since you both got there. Pacing, questioning, brooding.
"Caleb." You called him back. He stopped immediately, looking into your eyes. It was normal for him to worry, not only because he was your guard, but because he cared about you, and you knew it very well. "I weighed my decision well, I know what I'm doing."
We need to address the amount of insecurity in this fandom. Like why are people out here crying for first person povs in every part of the game, so no MC.
Like the majority of people create her to reflect themselves, I know it's not the best due to a lack of body diversity and hair textures, but she's still a representation of the player.
Also crying out for the guys to be defined as hetrosexual screams insecure. I'm sick of people acting like otome games are the straightest thing in the universe. (This fandom would hate my mans Alfons Sylvatica).
I've seen talk of this fandom being a women's only space but you can't really do that in a public internet space. Also calling for certain accounts to be terminated just because they might not be women is extreme and oppressive. If you really want that you're better off creating it yourself whether you have your own meetups, or servers/group chats that are just for women. Part of me thinks that's just an excuse though as the hating on MC gives the impression that you'd hate any woman into the same LI as you.
At the end of the day the guys are literally created to love the player. THEY LOVE YOU. If you really think Mr travels across the universe and waits for centuries, Mr I'm gonna become a doctor so I can look after your heart condition, Mr I'm gonna attach myself to you and let my home go to ruin for you, Mr our souls are bound together and I will find you in every lifetime and Mr I'm gonna sacrifice myself and put myself through horrific dangers just so that you never get hurt again, would simply turn the other way for another woman or even possibly a man then you haven't actually grasped the characters that you apparently love so much.
At the end of the day these men aren't your actual boyfriends. They are property owned by a company that you aren't part of. Some people really need to realise these men aren't real and tbh if they were you'd have even less control over them because they'd be their own people.
Between this and the Caleb controversy people seem to be having tantrums every time the game doesn't do exactly what they want, even if that means ignoring things that were already implied. The self entitlement is wild.
Summary: Everyone shows their love for Zayne in their own way, some more disruptively than others. All they want is to take care of their favorite doctor. They're just incredibly bad at it, in the end Zayne is the one who ends up worrying over them. Poor doctor Zayne is just doing his best to keep everyone healthy and alive, a task worthy of Sisyphus if ever there was one
Tags: Hurt/comfort, angst, fluff
Pairing: Lyra(mc)/Zayne/Caleb/Sylus/Rafayel/Xavier
(what would the fucking ship name be for this??? can we please make a ship name for this if there isn't one already?)
Word Count: 12,789
Lyra and Zayne
Sleep was a mistress that Zayne had never been on good terms with, even in his youth. When the cruel embrace of sleep caught up to him it was with nightmares plagued with black ice bursting from his skin, tearing open the sinews of his muscles, and shattering across his body like jagged glass. The same nightmare over and over of her limp corpse, her body crusted with the black ice the same way his hands were soaked in her blood, deep heady crimson like her hair that was speckled with snowflakes, as if she was some sleeping princess instead of a mangled corpse of his own creation.
She smelled of jasmines even in those dreams, like it was a cruel joke that she would smell of jasmines. Whatever higher power existed truly must enjoy his suffering, he had promised the jasmines would lead her back to him no matter what.
And they did.
Every nightmare.
A trail of jasmines followed her every step, no matter how cold the world around her got or how the darkness consumed the air until there was nothing left to guide her but the sound of him. She chased after him, every time... in every time. She chased even when her body ached and he could hear her stifled cries of pain with every step. Even when the jasmines were swallowed by black ice and her body was barely more than a frozen statue that could crumble with faintest tremble of the wind, even she collapsed his arms and those bright eyes like the sun flickered... even as he watched the light in her eyes slowly drain away from her...
There would be jasmines, frozen and wilted.
He sat up quickly, shaking away the nightmares, ignoring the pangs of pain as the frost bit at his concealed arms.
There would be no nightmare tonight, no other version of him to devour his jasmine. No ice would touch her skin, never to crack the warmth of the spring he has chosen to selfishly keep by his side despite his nature... because there is no denying that this is his true nature.
No amount of denial has changed the nightmares; they tormented him every time he dared to shut his eyes. Haunting him from the very moment he chose to become her friend. Every night since he gained that little joy in his life... whenever she was near the nightmares would return. As if it was punishment from whatever higher power existed, not allowing him even this little comfort in the world.
It's an instinct to reach out to her in the darkness, to feel her warm skin and know that she is alive. But when he looked at the body lying in his bed, he doesn't see his Lyra, not as she is now. Half waking half dreaming mind has conjured up the sight of her frostbitten corpse once again. A sight he once knew more intimately than her waking self, a cruel phantom image that chased after him the same way she chased him in his nightmares. With it came the pain, the dull thrum of ice coursing through his veins, a voice in his mind telling him to correct this error. It always phrased it like that, to ease his guilt maybe. A correction to a minor clerical error, to set things on the right path, to make sure things are as they should be.
No matter how it was phrased he knew what it meant.
To kill her.
He knew the voice as well as he knew her, as well as he knew himself though that wasn't an accomplishment given how little he understood of himself. This voice though, he did know this voice, that whispered to him long before he knew Lyra's name, when she was simply the little girl who lived next door...
The little girl who had been horrifically injure by his hands, fear in her eyes but not anger. Not even when he cradled her in his arms and begged for anyone to come help because he didn't understand what happened. Only that Lyra wasn't moving, only that her heart wasn't beating and she looked so scared staring at him with big yellow eyes filled with tears that froze on her icy skin. that in those moments he wouldn't stop saying how sorry he was and how she promised she wasn't mad at him.
It didn't matter that she came back through some miracle or science.
She had been gone and every night since then, since he almost succeeded, the nightmares became more intense. The voice pleading that so close. Visions of that other world filled with nothing but monsters and that version of himself that has only known suffering.
it was easier to not sleep.
He had enough work to keep him occupied, finalizing patient reports, research, and hospital paperwork. Should he somehow run out there was always reviewing lecture he's given at universities, volunteering to be a guest speaker would certainly take away more time in his night. If he offered to speak for his old school in Skyhaven he'd be able to visit Caleb, a few nights away from Lyra to so he could fitfully rest without the worry that he'd hurt her. The nightmares would still torment him but they would not control him, not when he is miles away from. Until then anything he could think to distract him from the dull weight of exhaustion that settled uncomfortably over him. A shroud that only promised a sleep devoid of any real recovery or comfort, and maybe only held death.
It's a blessing the others aren't here; their erratic sleep schedules would lead to him getting caught much quicker than he would like. A demand that he should rest to late night conversation late at night, neither option was palatable. Not tonight, not when he can feel phantom pains of frost spreading on his skin.
It has to be phantom pains.
It isn't real.
He won't let it be real.
Even if it meant leaving her behind, leaving them all behind and the little home that they have made for themselves. A little separation wouldn't kill him.
And yet instead of going to his home office to work he stayed in the bedroom, sitting at her vanity so he can keep an eye on her sleeping form. Lyra is the only one in his home tonight and for that he is grateful, when she manages to get to sleep it is a lead blanket that was near impossible to wake her from. A heavy death like sleep, her breath so shallow it was almost imperceptible... it didn't help with the nightmares. It certainly didn't help him stay focused on work, every so often getting up to make sure she was still breathing
Still alive despite the horrors his mind continued to conjure up.
And maybe the lack of sleep is truly catching up to him because it took far longer than it should have for him to realize that the yelloweyes staring back at him weren't part of his nightmare.
"Lyra."
"Zayne." His name is soft on her drool wet lips, a dull shine at the corner of her mouth. He would need to change the pillow cover tomorrow if there was a puddle of drool like he suspected, they were due for a wash anyways.
"You're awake."
"As are you." Her words are still slurred from sleep, despite how wide her eyes had been open she must have woken up not too long ago. Maybe the lights underneath the nightstand hadn't been hidden enough, he should've sat in the dark.
"I'm working."
"It's dark." She pointed out, glancing around the room before zeroing in on the dim light tucked neatly underneath the nightstand. It had seemed like a good idea, just enough light to work by without any reaching her eyes and disturbing her sleep, she thought otherwise. "That doesn't count."
"I'll be alright."
"Your eyes say otherwise doc-tor." She draws the word out the word mockingly, a slow smile spreading on her face as she leaned forward. Untangling her hands from the sheets and her body, she placed them on his face— warm. Her hands are so warm, he can't help but lean into her touch. "You're exhausted."
"I'm not exhausted."
"My love, flower of my heart, and piece of my undying soul," she began softly, her thumb stroking his cheek as she spoke. Faintly he can hear the sounds of fabric rustling as she moved closer to him until finally her forehead is pressed against his. "Lay down with me. Now."
It's not a question, he recognized the tone. She used it all the time on him and Caleb when they were children. No matter how much honey sweetness she poured into her voice he would always be able to recognize the demand that left little room for argument. It seemed like no matter how old they got she would always be his favorite tyrant.
A tyrant covered in blood brought down by his hands, an icy guillotine to slice clean through her warm flesh. Because she never listened to him, too stubborn to run away from him even when it for her safety.
He tried to flinch away, a paltry excuse already on his tongue, but her grip is steadfast. She is much stronger than she had been when they were children, she wouldn't let him leave this time, he knows it long before she says it. A better lie would be needed, an excuse, a distraction, anything to get him out of this room so he can't hurt her. Another night spent in one of the hospital's sleep pods or his office would be enough, just one more night until he can secure a place somewhere far away from her or one of the others returns home to keep him in check.
"I don't know what you're thinking but you're not allowed to leave, you are never allowed to leave me again," she ordered stubbornly and despite how pouty she played it off he can hear how tight her voice had become. A strained sorrow that they never spoke about, leaving the hospital behind, leaving her behind in the cemetery... or maybe this sorrow stretched back further. To when Caleb had died and he could not meet her eyes, when he pulled away every time she reached out to him, when he left her crying in the hall outside his office for hours. Maybe it was from when they were little and he could hear her screaming his name, as he begged bis parents to drive faster because he couldn't bear to see her after what he had done. "I don't care how the nightmare ends. You can't leave me."
"I'm not going to bed." It's a childish last-ditch effort to maintain some space between them. He isn't sure he can manage to stay awake if she's in his arms, she's too... familiar. Having a warm body in his arms has become the best way for him to fall asleep and Lyra has always felt like safety; the spring after a wretched winter that would sooner see him dead than allow him respite. A winter that would overtake him, steal away his dreams and replace them with nightmares that would become his reality. "I'll keep you company until you fall asleep, I have work."
"Fine!"
For a brief moment he's flooded with relief, that maybe Lyra's stubborn streak will take pause given how late at night it was and how long her shift had been. They were both exhausted, the lives of a doctor and hunter are filled with seemingly endless workloads that grow more taxing as the days go on. Wanderer attacks are on the rise, alterum appearances, and an increase in patients with protocore syndrome. It's something they're both painfully aware of, so it would stand to reason that she let this slide for just one night. He would anticipate a conversation in the morning, but her rest is more important right now, people need her.
More than he does.
She thought otherwise.
In a shuffle of blankets and vehement curses under her breath he found himself quickly engulfed in a mess of quilts and pillows. She wasted no time in tossing several plushies directly at his face while she clambered off the bed. Not bothering with politeness or dignity as she shoved him away from the bed to make room for her. Arranging the pillows and plushies around them comfortably, her hand on his chest as she tried to push him into the nest of plushies and pillows.
"Lyra."
"Yes, my stubborn and foolish husband?" She asked, her words sweet but the glare on her face as she pushed him firmly to the ground was warning enough. Glare unwavering even when she placed her head on his chest, wrapping her arms around his waist. "Something the matter?"
"What are you doing?"
"We aren't going to bed apparently," she replied, leaning slightly to grab the quilt she had tossed onto the floor. Once she was sure it was securely wrapped around both of them, settling deeper against him. "We're going to sleep on the floor."
"This isn't healthy for your spine," he told her, wrapping his arm around her waist and drawing her closer without a second thought. "You'll likely wake up in pain."
"That's why we have pillows," she said simply, her words breaking with a yawn as she dismissively waved her hands towards the pillow she had tossed onto the ground. "I'm going to stay awake until you fall asleep.”
"Lyra."
"We already have the aromatherapy set up from when you said we were going to bed earlier," she reminded him, her tone clipped and truly leaving no room for him to argue. "And I'll count snowmen for you."
"Snowmen?"
"Would you rather carrots?"
"Snowmen will do just fine."
"Thought as much," she mumbled, her hands squeezing the fabric of his shirt in a death grip. "I'll keep counting until Zayne has a good sleep."
"And what about Lyra?"
"When Zayne gets a good sleep, Lyra does too."
She wasn't going to let him go, she would sooner suffocate the both of them beneath a mountain of blankets than let him go. And as the numbers began to flit into the night air he can't help but cling to her just a little tighter.
Her body is warm, there is no ice eating away at her flesh like a disease. Her voice doesn't crack though it does waver with sleep, broken by a yawn and not a scream of pain or sorrow.
And she smelled like jasmines.
Always jasmines.
Caleb and Zayne
There's a special fear that lingered in the back of Zayne's mind constantly, it lived right beside the fear that he would wake up one day with blood on his hands. Nested and clung onto its twin fear that he would be the one to kill Lyra, that he would wake with her frozen corpse cradled in his arms. The twin fear being the death of any of them truly, they all live dangerous lives; hunters, revenge killing, underground dealings, and so on. Or maybe it was just Caleb, at the very least Lyra and Caleb rested at the forefront of his mind when it came to matters of death.
Ever since they were children it has been Zayne's responsibility as the oldest to take care of them. It's a job he has failed miserably at thus far.
So on days when the sky is clear enough for him to see through the deepspace tunnel he can only think of Caleb. How far had he gone this time, how far was the fleet pushing him? Did everything go as planned or had someone tried to sabotage Caleb once again? What about the toring chip that he still couldn't figure out how to safely remove... was it hurting Caleb? When he's far away on mission there's no way for Zayne to monitor and care for him... there was no one up there keeping Caleb from doing something reckless or impulsive, only the fragile promise that Caleb made to always come back.
Caleb has already broken that promise once before... had disappeared from his and Lyra's lives for a year. More than just dead but completely gone, he remembered asking the coroner to see the body so they could at least say goodbye properly. Remembered holding Lyra as close to him as he physically could when they were told Caleb had been so horribly mangled there was no body to bury. Neither of them spoke to each other, not on the drive to her apartment and not at the funeral. He couldn't bear to look her in the eyes for a long time after... it was almost like looking at a corpse. When Caleb "died" something in her had died too, looking into her eyes only proved that much.
There was no erasing the suffering even after all that happened. It didn't matter that the true reason Caleb had vanished was because he had been spirited away by the fleet, taken and hidden and hurt. What mattered was for that year Caleb was gone, dead in every way that mattered. The fact that Caleb had intended to remain dead to them was only a stake driven further into his heart. Even now with Caleb back it only made him anticipate the next disaster, the next lethal injury, the next funeral. Every morning, he wondered if the day finally came for him to bury Caleb yet again, Lyra would join him in the ground because losing Caleb again would kill her.
Death loomed over everyone Zayne loves.
It was a simple fact of his life that he couldn't deny, not when the nightmares came or when someone wouldn't answer their phone. Disappearing off the face of the earth, quite literally, without so much as warning. Only returning after there's something horrible detailed all over the news on every channel. It's not something he liked to think about, but he can't help it. Caleb has been gone on a mission for the better half of a month, gone without a warning once again. It left him only one choice, combing the news for any update on the Farspace fleet.
His worried state didn't go unnoticed by colleagues, they were quick to deny him any more hours of work when they saw the state of him. His shift had long since passed him by and staying any later was expressly forbidden by both friends and superiors. A gentle reminder on their end that he was no use to anyone when he was exhausted, a mild threat to call his girlfriend should he refuse to at least sleep a little.
He declined the offer to go home, opting instead to return to his office to check his desktop for updates on the fleet. He followed anything tagged with the Farspace Fleet, the Hunters Association, Onychinus, and Rafayel. it made keeping an eye on all of them while he was at work just a little bit easier, everything they were associated with professionally tracked and followed on the internet. He would spend the night in his office tonight; the drive home was too long to go without checking for a potential update. Caleb should be returning to Skyhaven any day now and since the man refused to call or text them when he got back the news would be the first place any of them checked.
That had been the plan, spend the night in his office and hope for an update so that he could return home with news of Caleb. A peace offering for not being with everyone yet another night and a relief to them as well. To Lyra especially... no matter how much time passed none of the others would ever understand how hellish that year without Caleb had been... how much that loss affected them still. He hoped they would never have to experience it, not with Caleb — not with any of them.
These thoughts consumed him so entirely he didn't even notice his office door was slightly ajar despite the fact that he had shut it, that there were dim lights pouring from under the door even though he turned them all of when he left.
If he had maybe he wouldn't have panicked so much.
Maybe not.
The sight that awaited him wasn't something he would ever be okay with.
Caleb leaned on his desk, breath labored and heaving, bloody and burned. Scorch marks and blooming bruises on too pale skin, a singed fleet unform ripped to shreds. A body littered with varying lacerations that his eyes catch too quickly, mind supply their names before he can stop it (avulsion, blast— shrapnel is lodged too close to Caleb's mechanical arm). A cocky grin still plastered on his face despite the exhausted pain so clearly written all over his body.
"I could use...use... some help Zaynie," Caleb called to him, panting breaths disrupting his speech. Voice equal parts pained and cocky, it only pissed Zayne off. "I can't make dinner... with a busted arm... "
"Dinner?" he spat, the word filled with vitriol as it fell unceremoniously out of his mouth. Dinner? Caleb arrived beaten and injured, the worst Zayne has seen him in ages and all that Caleb can bothered be concerned about was cooking dinner? A sick feeling twisted in his stomach, mouth dry and cottony as he fought for the rights words to say.
In the end he said nothing.
He is a doctor first.
Being terrified, angry, and hurt come after that.
There are no thoughts in Zayne's mind as he gathered up everything, he would need to patch up Caleb the best he can in his office. Thinking would make him irritated, or hurt, or afraid and he can't afford to be those things right now. not when Caleb is in pain resting on his desk after another impromptu mission, more dangerous bullshit—
Focus on the medicine.
Focus on the larger injuries first then branch out to the less concerning ones. The burns and the scrapes that still needed tending, just not as much as the wound on his chest too close to the metal arm. Focus on the fact that Caleb's metal arm was the only part of him uninjured, even the synthetic skin was perfectly in place. For a moment his mind wandered, first to gratefulness because he isn't like Sylus, he wouldn't know where to begin to fix Caleb's arm. Then to suspicious because it was impossible for Caleb to be this injured but for there to not be damage.
The fleet then.
They repaired any damage that had been sustained to Caleb's arm, keeping their secret golden boy in pristine condition. It was the least they could do after stealing Caleb away from him. The least they could was to take care of him and yet they seemed entirely incapable of caring for him entirely. Just their favorites bits and pieces,
"Careful with me Zaynie," Caleb complained, a pained whine tinging his voice as he leaned against him. "I don't want to die too soon."
"If that was true you wouldn't be here like this, you'd be safe at home with us. With me and Lyra and the others. For what Caleb, what is your goal? What do you hope to achieve by killing yourself once again," he snapped, the words pouring out in a torrent of anger, repressed feelings bubbled up. Caleb's too cold skin and warm blood only added fuel to the fire. And he knows that he is being cruel, that his words are cutting too deep and that it hurts. And... and he knows that he has never wanted to hurt Caleb. All he has ever wanted was to take care of them, to take care of Lyra and Caleb. "I apologize, Caleb. Are you alright?"
"I'm fine... don't worry..." Caleb grinned that stupid grin, the one that was meant to reassure him that things were fine. But they were anything but. "...Just wanted to see you... the others too. But you first. Didn't want anyone else patching me up. Only you."
It's why his body is battered, why he's bruised and beaten, but there isn't a single trace of suffering on that arm. The warm sterile skin, a physical reminder of all that has changed despite appearing the same on the surface. That Caleb has suffered a great deal for Lyra... maybe for him too.
Caleb is strong, he can fight, and endure.
He doesn't want that for Caleb.
He wanted warm meals, soft sheets, kind hands, and loving words for Caleb who has only ever been strong. A long life filled with nothing but good things, sweet things that made him feel safe.
"I'm sorry if I scared you."
"You could never scare me," Zayne promised softly, halting in his treatment to hold Caleb's face in his hands. The stubble is rough against the palm of his hands and the heavy dark circles under those beautiful eyes speak of so much exhaustion... so much suffering. "You may always come find me when you're hurt. I'll set aside my anger at the situations you find yourself in because I am not mad at you. I love you too much. That's all."
"That's all?" Caleb echoed and his face softened, entire body relacing into Zayne. "That's everything."
The words are so soft that if Zayne had not been hanging onto every sound that Caleb made, he would have missed it. He doesn't comment on it, teasing Caleb could be saved for later when they are home. Surrounded by warm people and warm blankets and warm food.
"Can I still cook you dinner?" Caleb asked after a moment. "Please?"
"Breakfast, we'll have street food tonight."
Sylus and Zayne
Zayne didn't end up going to Skyhaven for obvious reasons. Instead, he opted to remain in his home, to be nearby that's all. In case Caleb managed to reinjure himself, Zayne wanted to be on standby. He was glad to help truly, he would rather be the only person tending to Caleb and Lyra. A possessive need to keep the two that had adored him in their youth all to himself, even if they are anything but all his anymore. They belong to other people, are enamored with not just each other or him but three others...
That felt wrong to think.
He did his best not to divide any of them into categories, they all cared deeply for Lyra and for each other. They have shared everything in their time together and he's more than grown fond of all of them. But he would be a liar if he denied that this wasn’t easier with Lyra and Caleb. Taking care of each other was something they had always done, even as children they knew the only life they wanted was one that had all of them in it. Loving them, taking care of them, has always been his purpose and that has only become an even greater necessity as they got older. They only grew to rely on him more and more as the years progressed, in different ways than when they were younger but still needed him all the same.
Needed him in a way that Xavier, Rafayel, and Sylus didn't.
Maybe it's the sleep deprivation talking, he knows they care for him. They wouldn't do half the things they do now if they did not care for him in some capacity. The whispers of a paranoid mind only seek to spread ruin and destruction through his life, having already robbed him of sleep it sought to rob him of his companions. Pure isolation would make for any easy target. So, it whispers that they all love Lyra more than they can bear, loving her woven into the fibers of their souls and sinews of their body. But what reason do they have for keeping him around?
Paranoid fear is loud.
It bothered him more than he wanted to admit, the notion flitting back into his head whenever he had a moments respite from work. There are so many other things that should be his concern like the rising amounts of patients with protocore syndrome, or the appearance of alterum that made something deep within him feel wrong. The same way nightmares of black ice and memories of past friends torment him...
Better to keep busy.
The others would under if he worked overtime more than usual, they wouldn't question why he kept himself busy more often than not these days. The rising number of alterum and treatments for protocore syndrome becoming increasingly expensive were all concern he expressed to them during fits of frustration. Even before everything began to circle a downward spiral, late nights were an occupational hazard. With or without emergencies the average shift could vary greatly in number of hours, there was simply so much to be done. They had all witnessed him bringing home enough work to know this much.
If there was the added bonus that he would not have to interact with any of them with these horrible thoughts it was just that, an added bonus.
No amount of work seemed to distract him entirely, mind always wandering back to them. Every thought consumed entirely by the photos Lyra spammed their group chat with, every so often a ping alerting him to yet another photo. The latest at least was a video one of her, Rafayel, and Caleb cuddled in plush sheets wearing jackets he recognized. A little more than half of their amorous group had made themselves comfortable in his clothes, newer ones not the one they had stolen from him before.
The thought doesn't make him feel good like it always did.
As if summoned by his thoughts there is a flustered nurse waiting anxiously at his door. There's a nervous expression on the man's face as he shifted awkwardly from foot to foot. It was the expression many people wore when they told him he was needed somewhere soon, despite how close he was to clocking out.
Staying a little later to help with whatever situation the anxious nurse had would be a welcome distraction from his thoughts.
"Can I help you with something?"
"Uhm... Dr Zayne there's a man in waiting room," he managed to squeak out, his face flushed red in embarrassment. "He won't leave until you go see him, please help he's scaring the patients and staff."
The long-suffering sigh Zayne let out could be felt throughout the hospital. A surge of irritation coursing through him immediately, of course. It was impossible for him to have a moments peace, even at work. He should have learned as much being involved with so many people who loved to flirt with danger as much as they loved to flirt with one another. It lent them all an air of... unapproachability that the average person didn't have. A menacing look like they might actually kill the next person to speak near them, it was an interesting side effect of the lives they all live.
Most of them are capable of controlling it to varying degrees of success, only one of them struggled to appear friendly. It's for this reason that Zayne doesn't need to be told a description of the strange man, the fact that people were scared to stand beside him and given how late at night it was there was only one person it could be. His suspicions are quickly confirmed when he got to the waiting room.
Sylus stood out amongst any crowd, even when in his own territory it was impossible not to be drawn to Sylus. Whether it was imposing figure to unique features that drew people, once their eyes found him, they couldn't look away. It never seemed to bother Sylus. He always towered over the crowd and wore various expressions that could be read as bored out of his mind.
Now is no different than any other time, Sylus stood in a corner of the room and still all eyes are fixated on him. Fluorescent lights casting white light that made silver hair several shades lighter, sharpening his features that Zayne knew was neutral but everyone else rad as threatening. Crimson eyes remained glued to his phone, probably watching the video Lyra sent earlier if the upward curl of his lips was anything to go by. In his free hand he cradled a small box in his spare hand like it was a precious jewel... knowing Sylus that wasn't entirely out of the question. The idea of it being a weapon wasn't out of the question either and he could feel his blood pressure spike at the thought. Zayne can't remember if he ever explicitly told Sylus weapons shouldn't be brought into the hospital.
The fact that security lingered nearby didn't help his nerves. They couldn't remove Sylus since he hadn't done anything but stand patiently in the corner of the waiting room. But his presence was more than enough for them to feel the need to remain on standby, even without knowing Sylus' reputation the man radiated too much menace for the average person. Every eye in the room is trained on Sylus, who for his part appeared entirely unbothered by the extra attention. Wherever Sylus went he tended to draw some form of attention. Never enough for it to be a problem, at least not that Sylus told them.
Zayne wasn't fond of any amount of attention, especially not at his workplace. A boundary that had been well established when they had first began speaking to one another. There had been no ambiguity when he had told them all that unless they were injured none of them should show up. For Sylus to show up regardless of that boundary, causing a spectacle whether he intended to or not, wasn't something he wanted to let go of.
Zayne wanted to be upset.
In any other circumstance he's certain he would be, his colleagues had no clue as to the nature of his relationship. It wasn't something any of them needed to be pricy to, it was decided early on in their arrangement that the other would keep their interference at his work to a minimal. Brazen displays of any sort at his workplace were forbidden even for Lyra and Caleb, there are expectations he had to uphold and a reputation as a levelheaded surgeon. His personal life while not affecting that at all in reality could be interpreted as distracting at best and deviant or predatory at worst should the more... traditional of his colleagues' pry into his private life. it was a hassle he didn't want to deal with, not when he had no prepared answer.
But it's Sylus.
He could never turn away Sylus, though he'd never admit that aloud.
"Are you injured," he asked, fighting to keep the worry from his voice as he eyed Sylus up and down. Sylus' posture is too relaxed, or maybe he's becoming more and more paranoid. His family, for lack of better word, were always in some form of mortal peril. They called it occupational hazards, he called it recklessly endangering their lives and testing the strength of his heart. If their fates were entirely in his hands, he would keep them all hidden away. Frozen in a perfect moment for the rest of their lives, a home built in some remote forest far away from everything that desired to bring them pain. Nightmares, violence, and pain would never touch a single one of them. They would grow old together in a place that EVER, the wanderers, and even mass extinction couldn't reach them. But he is a doctor not a god, creating a little world just for them wasn't something he was capable of. Making sure their injuries were treated was. "What's your pain level?"
"What a warm hello from my favorite doctor," Sylus replied, drawing out his words as he watched Zayne. "Your colleagues aren't as warm as you."
There are even more eyes on the both of them now that Sylus has spoken.
"If you aren't injured, why are you at my workplace?"
"Are you banning me from seeking medical attention, I didn't know you could be so cruel doctor," Sylus teased, dragging out the syllables for along as he could, voice dipping low and soft. "I am hurt."
"Emotionally or physically," he retorted swiftly, eyes flicking over Sylus' form and scanning for any obvious injuries before he could stop himself. No blood, no scrapes, no heavy breathing, no bruising or discoloration, nothing different about his posture. There was nothing visually wrong with Sylus. Except that instead of his signature coat he was wearing one of Zayne's, a dark coat that he didn't remember owning. It could be a cover; it wouldn't be first time Sylus hid an injury by switching jackets. "You'll have to remove... your jacket if you're injured, if not I'll recommend a colleague for your emotional concerns."
"I think I'll keep the jacket if it's all the same to you doc," Sylus replied, pushing himself off the wall and moving to stand closer to him. "As for emotional, well I'd prefer you deal with my emotional needs, you're so good at the physical ones."
If everyone wasn't staring before they certainly are now.
"You can be patient and wait till we're home," Zayne reprimanded sharply, more than aware of the eyes that zeroed in on him. Letting out a long sigh as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "Sy— Skye why are you here?"
"I brought you a gift," Sylus answered, a shit eating grin on his face as he held out the small box, a beautiful dark container tied off with a deep red ribbon. "There's a baker I know, experimenting with new macaroon flavors. Who better to assess this new development than the foremost expert himself."
"You can't show up at my workplace unannounced and cause a scene to drop off macaroons," he reminded Sylus, voice torn between exasperation and fondness. "It's unprofessional."
"There's nothing professional about our relationship, I fail to see the problem with dropping off gifts."
"Sylus."
"Oh, come now doc don't be so cold to me. I may not be one of our precious pets, but I thought you were at least a little fond of me," Sylus mocked lightly, leaning into his personal space. A bad habit Zayne has yet to punish him for, the lack of personal space was something he could didn't mind at home but in places like this the behavior couldn't be ignored. There was a sense of propriety Sylus lacked, either from lack of knowledge on basic etiquette due to his upbringing or willful ignorance. He wasn't sure which frustrated him more. "Running away from me now? You're hurting my feelings."
The reprimand he had prepared died on his tongue.
It could be a conjuration of sleep deprivation, a trick of the mind at worst, but there was a flicker of something on Sylus' face that gave him pause. The longer he stared at Sylus silently the more he knew there was something he was missing. Was it the eye contact, or lack thereof, Sylus always made eye contact when he spoke with them. There was a certain joy they knew he derived from letting his aether core tease their minds just enough for them to feel his presence. A subtle claim—
Ah.
Sylus was waiting for him to take the gift, the gift still outstretched offhandedly towards him. That was where his eyes were affixed, watching and waiting for Zayne to take the little offering.
"Thank you for the macaroons," he replied softly, taking the box from Sylus and offering him a gentle smile. Any amount of frustration slipped away as Sylus' expression softened in real time. It was comforting to know he wasn't the only one that worried about what the others thought of him... mildly guilty that Sylus felt he had any reason to doubt him. "You may wait for me in my office if you wish, so long as you promise not to create another scene."
"I didn't do a thing," Sylus said, beaming with barely concealed pride. "I just stood here."
"I know you didn't." It was unfair to expect Sylus to control how the people around him viewed him, truly he was certain Sylus hadn't done a thing wrong. Only stood politely in the corner of the room, he just exuded menace. Another pang of guilt as he grabbed Sylus' wrist and began guiding the man to his office. "Next time you want to leave a gift or visit me, go to my office directly."
"Ashamed of me doctor?"
Is that what Sylus thought?
That the reason for frustration and secrecy was because he was ashamed of him — of them?
Is that what they all thought?
The notion made him freeze in his tracks, releasing Sylus' wrist he grabbed his face instead, planting kiss on his forehead before he could think better of it.
"I'm not ashamed of you," he stated simply, clearing his throat as his ears heated up in embarrassment. "The emergency room is for patients however, not doting lovers."
Sylus didn't reply with a snarky word or quip, but he does grab Zayne's hand silently squeezing and following after without a word of complaint.
Zayne doesn't need to glance back to know the expression on Sylus face, he only needed to see it once to commit it to memory. The ways Sylus pupils would go wide and, a mild look of surprise, a faint dust of blush.
He would go home on time today, for a plethora of reasons. Certainly, the fact that the rumors of him kissing a dangerous looking man on the forehead would spread quickly. Worse than wildfire during a dry summer. There was no harm in avoiding addressing the rumors tonight... and it would be rude to leave Sylus alone in his office.
Rafayel and Zayne
Another sleepless night spent far away from his home, the hospital as well. They had all but forcibly removed him from the building when they learned he attempted to stay the night once more. He was no use to any of them when he was this dead on his feet, sending him home to rest and barring him from any real work was there best bet. However, going home to sleep simply wasn't an option.
Lyra and Caleb took over his home... something he loved more deeply than he could articulate with words. Making his world their own space was something they had done since childhood, for them to feel free enough — safe enough — to do so once again made his heart swell. That reason is precisely why he couldn't go home. The last thing he wanted was for those nightmares to crash into the carefully constructed peace they've built for themselves. He couldn't destroy everything they've built because of dark ice and a stranger in his body. Just the thought of cradling Lyra's body the same as he had done years ago, or facing the confused heartbreak on Caleb's face as he asked what happened... he couldn't do it again.
It only wanted to hurt her.
So, he couldn't be near her.
Rafayel's home is the furthest from her that didn't require him driving through the N109 zone this late at night or public transit. One of those was worse than the other but in his exhaustion addled mind he couldn't decide which. Regardless of which was worse than the other he would be experiencing neither, driving himself to Rafayel's home.
None of the lights are on but there is the dim glow of candles from the studio that told him Rafayel was still awake despite how late it was... he was hardly one to judge. It was much needed reminder when he opened the front gate and then again the door with ease, not a single entry locked. He couldn't be upset at Rafayel for blatantly reckless and stupid for not locking his home up for the night, the man is very clearly awake. If anyone were foolhardy enough to attempt something they would be the ones startled to find a very much awake and irritable Rafayel. It didn't make him any less irritated... but it would be an issue he filed away for now, a conversation for another day. He was seeking a place to stay there would be no point in arguing.
Rafayel is exactly as he expected him to be, laying on the floor in his studio staring up at the veiling. Skin, clothes (his jacket, the one from the photo's Lyra sent the day prior and this time it does make him feel good), and hair smeared with varying shades of blue that shimmered in the light almost the same way his scales did. Spilled water tinted blue seeped into the white of Rafayel's shirt, scattered coral paintbrushes splayed haphazardly around the Lemurian. Despite all this, or maybe because of it, Rafayel was an ephemeral vision of lost worlds. A dream that flickered in the flames of candlelight and faint glow moonlight, wavering with the roar of the waves on the shore just outside.
"You know you can like come in and not linger like you wanna kill me or something," Rafayel called out to him, a smirk on perfect lips that are smudged with a blue like winter. "Take the couch."
They never question each other when it came to late nights, there was mutual understanding about the nature of their lives and work. Sometimes, sleep was something that they couldn't afford for various reasons. Any criticisms would only result in circular arguments and conversations that would lead to the same result every time. Instead, they enjoyed the presence of another soul to keep them company at night. Sometimes a silent night, other times one filled with conversation until one of them gave in to sleep.
He preferred the latter tonight, the idea of sleeping any time soon was something he'd rather avoid... at least for a while longer.
"You looked comfortable," he began simply, struggling to find the place to begin a conversation. It has never been something he was good at, breaching the space between himself and someone else. Always too awkward, too clinical, too unfeeling. None of them mind, it doesn't make him feel any better. "In the videos from yesterday."
"You could've joined us, always room for more in my bed. Like seriously there was miles between us, I had to make a century long journey just to get them close enough to me. We almost lost apple boy in the pillows somewhere. But cutie refused to leave him, delayed our journey by a whole decade. By the time we got back to the center of the bed the world had totally changed, the seagulls were super skinny. After such a perilous journey we had to show off our survival of course," Rafayel said, reciting a tall tale filled with more exaggeration and grandeur than usual, even for him. "So like no matter what that crow says I've got the biggest bed out alllll of us, you could've stayed over."
"I was working, not all of us have the luxury of deciding our hours at leisure," he pointed out dryly, smiling despite himself as he leaned adjusted his place on the couch. "I couldn't leave."
"Well make time cause it gets so hot without you in bed," Rafayel complained, rolling onto his back to stare up at the ceiling rather than the various works that decorated the floor. Thomsas was going to be aghast that such beautiful works were being left carelessly on the floor so close to a pallet of still wet paint. "It's sooo hot we won't last the summer without you by our sides."
"You only keep me around for my evol."
"Puh-lease you keep me around for the same reason, you're like the first one to lay on me if cutie doesn't sink her claws in me."
Rafayel's words trailed off quietly and for a moment Zayne worried something had happened, but Rafayel's gaze was still fixed on the ceiling. Even his expression remained entirely the same. He has known Rafayel long enough to notice the subtle shifts, the briefest tense of muscles in his shoulder.
"What are you thinking about?"
Silence stretched on for too long, far too long for it to be considered normal by Rafayel standards. There isn't supposed to be silence with him, not this kind of silence. Silence with Rafayel was never real silence, there would be humming or the sound of tapping against paper or canvas. When Rafayel is "silent" there's still so much life in the air around him it didn't feel silent at all. This silence was so unlike him. Suffocating, crushing his lungs and prying the air from within him as if he was truly drowning as the tides dragged him to the bottom of the ocean. It was heavy, oppressive, and far too still.
"Where are your parents gonna stay when they visit you?" Rafayel finally said after a moment, his words lacking any hint of teasing or amusement that it usually held. Zayne straightened himself on the couch, sitting up to give Rafayel his full attention, there was more to this than simple curiosity. "Nah never mind they'll stay with you duh, or some fancy hotel... I can pay for a nice hotel. Or Sylus has a villa he doesn't use for weapon storage, last time I was there it was full of paintings."
"That won't be necessary, when my parents visit, they prefer to stay in my home," he answered honestly, observing Rafayel for any changes in his demeanor. "When in Linkon they prefer to be near as possible, the trip would be worthless otherwise so they say."
"Right yeah that makes sense... when are they visiting?"
"You needn't worry about any of this, they're my responsibility," he assured Rafayel but the lack of a response made him relent. Just this once. "I have no idea when they'll visit, they've become much more spontaneous since retirement."
It was a simple truth, his parents rarely visited, maybe thrice a year if they missed him terribly. If the outliers were to be ignored then it'd be once a year, randomly with no real warning except maybe a call the night before to let him know they were coming to stay with him. This year's visit had yet to happen and with the rapidly approaching end he could understand some amount of nerves. But there were years where his parents didn't show at all. They valued their time and space exploring the world just as much as he valued his time and space working here. The three of them worked very hard to have the life that they have now, none of them wanted to give it up. Facetime calls were more than enough to keep them distance from feeling too much, it had been their routine since his childhood.
It wasn't something that brought him worry nor anxiety before, certainly there some... uncomfortable half-truths that would need to be told when his parents inevitably came to visit. The day he would have to sit them down and create story convincing enough to explain both why Caleb was alive and why he was the new colonel of the Farspace Fleet would be a nightmare. His temporary resignation from Akso a few months prior would be uncomfortable to explain should it be brought up. While he shuddered to think how difficult it would be to explain his currently living situation let alone his relationship—
A metaphorical lightbulb as he guessed at the reason for Rafayel's sudden questioning.
"You're worried about their opinions." It isn't a question so much as it is a statement. After his encounter with Sylus he was become more aware to the fact that his lovers were more insecure in their relationship with him than he had anticipated. It explained all the gifts at least, attempts to buy affection and stability. They didn't need to do that. "You shouldn't."
"You haven't told them about us," Rafayel guessed, words entirely devoid of tone at all. There was no pout, no annoyance, not even accusation. Simply pure neutrality as he stared up at the ceiling, not even glancing in Zayne's direction. "When they visit you may not tell them about us at all. Which is fine."
It's not.
They both knew it, there would be no verbal or obvious change should he choose not to disclose his relationship to his parents. But there would be subtle ones, moments like this overwhelming silence. Not intentionally, not entirely intentional at the very least. It was his decision in the end but his decision still affected them, affected how they believed he perceived them.
Whether or not he was ashamed of them.
"I merely want to ease them into it," he told Rafayel simply, easing himself off the couch to sit on the floor beside Rafayel. "Allow them to meet the chaos before telling them the chaos is my home."
"What if they don't like us?" Rafayel asked after a beat, adjusting his place on the ground so his head was resting in Zayne's lap. Curling up with a pout formed on his face. "I won't let you leave me."
There is a flash of something darker in those pink irises, an unspoken threat. Not one of violence or vengeance but something deeper. He recognized the look in Caleb many times, possessive to a degree that bordered on clinical insanity. Seeing it on Rafayel's perfect angel face felt... interesting.
Not wrong, just different.
There were many things Rafayel concealed from them all very easily. It was difficult to remember that he was more than just an overdramatic artist even when he knew partial bits of truth. Malicious intent had been hidden so easily by charming words and playful mannerisms. Even his cruelest plans of revenge and blood thirst had been concealed beneath layers upon layers of pouting and feigned weakness. Seeing Rafayel's obsessive streak still caught him thoroughly off guard.
It made him pause for just a moment to stare longer at Rafayel. The look on his face was gone as though it had never been there at all. Once again, he found himself more empathetic to Lyra's plight when it came to ascertaining their allegiances. Rafayel was a far trickier fish than any of them gave him credit for.
"I wouldn't dare imagine such a thing," he promised, chuckling lightly as he began to run exhausted hands though Rafayel's silk soft hair. "They will care greatly for you all, just as I do."
"You've been avoiding us."
There it was.
"I haven't been avoiding you, I'm here after all. There are simply things I must do, as I told you when I arrived," he deflected, massaging Rafayel's scalp absently. "You aren't familiar with how demanding my work is."
It is a lie they can both feel it, work is an excuse for absence caused by nightmares.
Rafayel won't call him on it, they have never been the type to comment the other's sleeping habits. No matter how much it may need commentary they have long since settled on a silent agreement. There would be no questions at finding the other awake at late hours, only companionship.
They spoke, even as words through the rest of the evening. The distance between them shrinking as their words slurred with sleep and muddled with exhaustion. All manner of conversation came and went between them, about his parents and what he should say to introduce them all. To new years plans with friends and family despite the date being more than a month away. Nonsensical words about dreams and nightmares, never the ones that haunted them... not the ones filled with dead lovers or blood soaked hands. Only the odd ones, like the snowman and sandman trying to meet in the vast ocean only for them both to dissipate in the waters. Or the summer and winter that never met directly, diametric opposites that could never coexist. It somehow led to discussion of a book Lyra had made them both read, him in childhood Rafayel the day before.
By the time the sun had fully risen they succumbed to exhaustion, asleep on the floor too close to paint a conversation about the tragic love of pixies from the warm season and the winter. Ones that had fought nightmares to protect each other but ultimately couldn't overcome their nature.
Zayne tired not to think about how bitterly sweet it was as he finally allowed himself to sleep, wrapped around Rafayel's too warm body.
Xavier and Zayne
Zayne was foolish to think he would be able to go on with his life as usual, truly the exhaustion must have made him delusion to believe such a thing. Naive at best to believe that word had not spread amongst his partners about his lack of sleep. Rafayel was never the type to keep his mouth shut about things like this.
It led to each of them taking matters into their own hands in some form. Sylus and Rafayel took to dropping in on him both at work and home to suffocate him in their arms until he relented and took a nap. While Caleb was on a steady track to physical recovery the same couldn't be said for everything else, Lyra had taken it upon herself to care for him in her apartment. Moving both of them out of his bedroom likely their way of helping even if he wished they would have stayed there. Only Xavier was missing from the spectacle... he had yet to make contact with any of them.
A little over a week had passed since Xavier's abruptly disappeared; it was nowhere near as long as some of his missions went. Yet his absence was weighing on them all, forced naps from Sylus and Rafayel seemed just as much for their benefit as his. It took hardly any time at all for the two of them to succumb to sleep once the opportunity presented itself, collapsed on top of him regardless of the situation. Every conversation with Lyra over phone always led to the same thing, how no one has been seen leaving or entering Xavier's apartment or Philo. She hadn't heard from the association or her colleagues, subtle inquires all leading to roadblocks.
Though he tried not to, his thoughts could only wander to the worst possible places. Whispered tragedies waved through his mind so ceaselessly even his nightmares began to alter. New tragedy came in every flickering image withing his half waking nightmares when he fought sleep. With a blink of an eye another one of them was felled by dark ice, another weakness snuffed out the voices whispered. Hospital floors slick with black ice and blood, scattered corpses crusted over with dark frost. A macabre line leading to Lyra fear filled face as she ran past them with tears in her eyes, rushing to him unaware that they had been felled by his hand.
"Hi."
The voice startled him awake, jolting bolt upright in his seat. Violently reorienting his mind with the reality around him rather than the one that lived within his head. He was not in dark clothes stained and heavy with blood of the people he loved. There was no black ice on the ground, the ground wasn't hospital linoleum but they grey carpet of his office floor in the hospital. He was in his office, asleep at his desk, not racing down the too familiar halls of a hospital decorated with frost mangled corpses and saturated with blood.
And Xavier stood in front of him, blinking slowly at him with big startlingly blue eyes. No worse for wear than when he had seen him last, as if no time at all had passed. He was even wearing the same white hoodie, always the same white hoodie and jeans. He was beginning to understand Lyra's mild annoyance every time he wore his black button up and slacks.
Scolding words died on his tongue as it clicked that Xaiver was standing in front of him after being missing for so long. Angry took a back seat as he got up from his desk quickly, almost tripping over the chair legs in his haste to get closer to Zavier. Grabbing Xavier's face in his hands and turning his head to the side, glancing at the collar just faintly visible around his neck.
Whatever the device's purpose of the collar it was unchanged, he would take it as a good sign for now. Likely consult with Sylus later about helping him to convince Xavier to allow them a better look at it or (hopefully) explanation from him about its purpose. Wondering if it could provide explanation for why Xavier's heartbeat was always so painfully faint and slow, even at times of extreme stress or pleasure. Or the constant requirement for naps that never seemed to be enough and were only growing in terms of frequency and length.
"Zayne, are you done?" Xavier asked in mild confusion while Zayne continued to poke and prod. Still, he didn't push him, away, instead standing perfectly still while Zayne checked him over, only voice complaints and queries. "You're squeezing my cheeks too tight."
"I'm merely making sure you're truly standing here in one piece," he dismissed cooly, narrowing his eyes as he scrutinized Xavier further. "You can't go as you please anymore, you have to tell us when you go.
"Are you worried about me?"
"That's a pointless question."
"I'm worried about you too," Xavier told him, stepping into his space and forcing him back a step. A soft smile on his too sweet face, gaze fixated on the couch against the window. Without another word he grabbed Zayne's hand and led him over to the couch. "You shouldn't sleep on your office chair like that, you'll only catch a cold. You should be in a warm bed, it's better for your health and rest. At least this couch."
"Which one of us is the doctor again?" He asked pointedly, glowering at Xavier as he was pushed onto the couch. "My health isn't to be called into question by an unqualified voice. Let alone one that disappeared for eleven days without a word of warning."
"I'm more qualified than the average person," Xavier replied confidently. "I came back. I always do."
There are a thousand thoughts that jump to his mind, about how there was never any guarantee that Xavier would come back. That even if there was, he would never be okay with Xavier simply disappearing for days at a time without a word of wandering. Though the amount of time Xavier spent away from them is hardly a drop in the vast span of his prolonged life it is more than enough time for Zayne to worry. Was it so selfish to want them all to be within reach, to keep them safe in the way he knew best because no one else in the world is capable of taking care of his lovers. Not the way they needed to be cared for. These powerful, otherworldly, and strange people are treated as invulnerable paragons of strength by everyone around them. Pushed too far, stretched too thin, forced to persevere until they are physically incapable of going any further. He was the only that understood they were just people, just human, frail and soft humans despite all outside appearance.
They were so frighteningly vulnerable it terrified him.
"I am allowed to worry."
"You can worry. But you aren't allowed to be paranoid, leave that to me," Xavier said after a moment, teasing softness fading into something solemn. "I wish I didn't have to go so far away. It can't be avoided... but it sucks. I don't like being away from any of you, I miss too much when I'm gone. Just look at yourself, love, your eyebags have eyebags. You're exhausted."
The weight of the word is heavy on such a soft voice.
There was no judgement, simply pure concern and compassion. As expected from Xavier, a gentle concern that disguised the fact that there was a thinly veiled insult about his current state. It fell to the back of his mind as Xavier placed a hand on his face, he chased the soft warmth that cradled him, all the tension slipping away.
"We can sleep here," Xavier hummed, the lights in his office flickering off as soon as his gaze landed on them. "Your couch is comfortable."
"I know."
It was a necessary addition to his office after Caleb died, Lyra couldn't sleep alone but neither of them had been ready to bridge the gap between them. Not enough that it would feel right for either of them to spend the night in the others home. Instead, he bought a couch for his office, the softest one he could find. She slept on the couch whenever she wanted, he would spend his evenings asleep at his desk just a little ways from her.
Maybe things would be better if he loved her less, if he kept the distance between them instead of bridging the gap. Her life wouldn't be in danger every time he closed his eyes, there would be no dark ice chasing after her. The others would take better care of her if he wasn't a factor, all their attention on keeping each other safe instead of worrying over when his next... episode might be.
"Stop thinking bad thoughts," Xavier ordered, headbutting him gently a small frown on his otherwise serene face. "You're not allowed to think about anything but me."
"You can hardly police my mind," he scoffed, pushing Xavier's face lightly. "Though I'll develop brain trauma if you continue subjecting me to minor blunt trauma with your thick skull."
"My skull isn't thick," Xavier huffed petulantly, not wasting any time in collapsing on top of him in retaliation. His face smothered in his chest, legs somehow already tangled, and arms wrapped securely around his neck. "Just rest."
"The door is unlocked."
"I locked it when I came in," Xavier corrected him, pressing a kiss to his jaw as he adjusted himself. "And I left a note."
"A note?" He echoed in amusement, turning his head to allow Xavier full access to his neck. "What note would deter my staff, I'll have to make use of it."
"Do not disturb," he beamed brightly, all too proud of himself. "And I told Yvonne that you're having sex. With me to be clear."
"You what."
"I only told Yvonne," Xavier promised sweetly, alternating between biting and licking his pulse point. "She'll be too anxious to bother us and won't let anyone else."
"You couldn't think of any other excuse," he reprimanded Xavier, pulse racing under his gentle ministrations. Calloused warm hands had worked their way under his shirt and massaged his back. There were no intentions of anything more, just lazy loving. He would enjoy it more if his separation from work and his personal life wasn't teetering on collapse. As if Sylus showing up unannounced and accidentally creating a scene wasn't bad enough. "Regardless of whether that was an... appropriate thing to say to a colleague... Yvonne along with the rest of the hospital don't know about the nature of our relationship yet."
"Don't pretend like you want to hide us. You love us too much to pretend that," he said, grinning against his skin as he dragged his tongue across his jaw. "Unless what you're really upset about is taking a nap instead of having sex? We haven't had sex in your office, yet it could be fun. I hear it's a good sleep aid."
The pure innocence on Xavier's face despite his words and actions never failed to give Zayne whiplash. Perfect angelic features that let Xavier get away with far too much, too sweet eyes and a perfect innocent smile as if he wasn't feeling him up.
"Xavier."
"I'll behave for now on," he promised sweetly, honeyed words belying whatever his true intentions are. At the very least he made a show of behaving, no longer feeling him beneath his shirt and instead traced nonsensical patterns on his skin. "Wouldn't want your staff to know you have sex with your hunter patients after all. That would be incredibly unethical. Right doc-tor?"
"You're barred from coming into my office alone ever again," he muttered underneath his breath, finally giving up and sinking into the couch. Loosely he draped his arm over Xavier's body, relishing the comforting weight of another body on top of him. With every passing day it was becoming harder for him to sleep without the weight of another person, the warmth of someone he loved dearly needed to permeate his skin before he could even think to sleep... it made his affliction all the worse. He tightened his grip on Xavier. "We will talk about your disappearance when we wake up."
"Of course."
"And no more than an hour."
"I promise."
They both knew that was a lie, though neither of them minded.
Everyone and Zayne
For the first in an age the day passed without interruption or incident. There was no one in his office bloody and beaten, no one creating a scene anywhere in the hospital, no heads poking out from beneath his desk waiting to ambush him. Everyone was exactly where they should be, accounted for with proof both within the group chat and online. It should be something he's glad for, being able to work without interruptions after so long of being accosted by them... truth be told it was the opposite.
He had gotten used to the presence of another person — of the five fools he had taken as his home. Every corner of his life was filled with them, to suddenly be deprived of their company without warning was a greater discomfort than he had thought it would. Even if it what he should want, putting distance between himself and them was for the best after all.
The nightmares had yet to cease, only evolve. Whispered cruelties towards them all, accompanied by vitriol carved paths of dark ice along his arms and the familiar voices of the dead calling to him. Begging and screaming for retribution at all hours of day while he did his best to drown out the noise. It was his fate to suffer this cost, he should want to be alone.
A workday without interruption, easier to leave behind work than lovers.
A solitary walk home, take the alleys where alterum lurk.
An empty shell of a house loomed before him, dark and imposing like the fractal library.
Only a single light on in his bedroom nearly suffocated by the imposing shroud of shadows, the library is more secluded than this paltry excuse for a home.
He belonged in the fractal library.
Alone among ice and snow.
It would welcome home back now, even without her corpse.
That could come later.
Just go—
"Hullo hubby!"
Before the words even register in his mind his arms are full of a small woman, his favorite tyrant with her arms wrapped tight around his neck and grinning up at him with the sweetest look on her flushed face. Crimson hair stuck up in several directions, ticking his neck and the bottom of his jaw as she swung herself in his arms.
Another body crashed into his, staggering back a step as the all too familiar scent of apples flooded his senses. He has no time to react as Caleb wrapped his arms suffocatingly tight around his center, squeezing Lyra tighter to his body.
"Took you long enough doc," Sylus drawled, stretching his body lazily as he exited the bedroom followed closely by Rafayel and Xavier. "Any longer and we would have started without you, dinner that it is."
"We already started the other thing," Xavier told him brightly, ears red and a mark that wasn't there yesterday blooming on his collar bone. "We got bored."
"We were playing pile it up but someone is a cheater," Rafayel his in Caleb's direction, pink eyes narrowed and accusing. "The tower always fell on my turn!"
"Maybe you're just bad at the game," Caleb retorted, voice muffled slightly from his face being pressed so deep in Zayne's chest. "Not my fault you're bad at the game."
"You used your evol! All of you do," Rafayel snapped, whirling around to glare at Sylus. "I saw you too! Don't think I didn't, you totally should have knocked it over like three times!"
"Aw don't be so upset," Sylus smirked, condescension dripped from his words as he grabbed Rafayel by the nape of his neck. "I promise to make it up to you after we take care of our good doctor."
"You— you can't bribe me, I am a man with principles and dignity," Rafayel sneered at him. "Just because you're handsome doesn't mean you can get whatever you want. I'm the siren."
Mone of them commented on how despite his venom Rafayel didn't pull away from Sylus. The same way none of them commented on how Lyra and Caleb were still wrapped around Zayne, or that Xaiver was holding onto Caleb by his back pocket. Nor the fact that Sylus's aether core was shining so brightly the hall was partially illuminated. Certainly, didn't comment on how Lyra's heart seemed to sync with the ebb and flow of the red light. There wasn't any reason to comment on any of it... this was just how they are.
How things should be.
Dreams of corpses impaled by dark ice and trails of blood soaked jasmine petals all strewn to create a macabre line leading to a frostbitten woman... it isn't real. In another lifetime maybe it is, in that world he spied in his nightmares, with that other version of himself that is so painfully alone he felt the lingering sorrow like an open wound.
In this world none of that is real.
There is no empty apartment, no empty building filled with the bare essentials. Every corner of his house was filled with his lovers. A closet that held spare clothes for all of them and his clothes that went missing always found on them. The calendar in his home office littered with their handwriting, different colored pens and stickers in a spare drawer. Six toothbrushes, six towels, three different types of hairbrushes, a pantry fully stocked with everyone's favorite snacks, and so on.
Not a single aspect of his life was untouched by them, that is what was real. Whether or not he should want it... if he was allowed to want it... didn't matter.
This was already real.
Their bodies warm and alive and heavy and so so so real are his to love. Their hearts yielding and too soft for this world are his to nurture and cherish. Their souls so interconnected they may as well be woven together, cosmically intertwined for the lifetime and every one after it.
And maybe there is a day where those nightmares may come to pass, where the horrors may become his reality. A time could come where he would have to leave them all behind for a final or risk their lives. There may come a day where he would up to be alone one again, left on a path of a dark ice with no a single soul to be found because the path to forgiveness was one forged in isolation. A predetermined fate no matter how unfair was somehting he may not be able to change. All the things he feared and fought actively against could simply happen, he is just a man.
And there is no shame in being human.
To be afraid... but more importantly to want.
He wants them.
He wants this.
To lie in a too small bed, bodies piled and together. A mess of limbs and blankets, contortions that would leave their bodies aching. Conversations that flowed from their lips more easily than breathing, even a sleep that is a blanket instead of a slab of ice placed over his chest. There is no rush, no worry, no impending doom or a fate that can never be overwritten.
Just softness.
Pure, warm, gentle, softness.
His lovers are the spring that pull him from winters cruelness.
Very helpful Sims 4 CC search engine you shouldn't miss!
Our friend just launched an awesome new search engine called http://wcif.cc, made just for finding CCs for The Sims 4! 🎉
It's super fast, completely free, and has zero ads. He's really focused on making it perform beautifully so you can find what you need without any fuss. I'm so impressed with his work! ♥
It's finally done! If you don't know, I love playing the Ultimate Decades Challenge. It's honestly what I play the most whenever I'm actually playing the game. My family is currently in the mid 1300's. One thing that's always bothered me is that the default underwear in CAS doesn't quite feel immersive for UDC gameplay. So I decided to create this collection for just that! It replaces the default underwear for all ages and genders, is compatible with WW, and all meshes are base game compatible. However, if you run into any issues with the meshes and possible missing packs do let me know. This was my first foray into really messing with the game meshes, and I am not at all skilled in meshing yet.
Good to know:
You can only have one set of default underwear in your game at any given time.
These conflict with anything that replaces the default body mesh in CAS, such as Luumia's TIT-E, Hiroki's BB, etc. You could have both in game at the same time, but, you need to make sure the game reads these files first if you want them to show up. Placing them in a folder named "!! DEFAULT UNDERWEAR !!" for instance should make the game read them first. But it is not foolproof, and you may need to mess around with it. Defaults can be sensitive and finicky.
The child female shift does have some clipping if your sim is wearing a two piece outfit and you only remove the top, since the dress is actually a top. The bottoms included are a recolor of the default panties for child females in the same style as the dress as to not ruin immersion with bright blue knickers, lol. There's also a small gap in the mesh that I just could not fix for the life of me. However it is very small and only noticeable in some trait animations.
See images below for what the underwear looks like. Toddlers and infants have the same cloth diaper with side ties which I felt was kind of appropriate for the era?
This is the update of my mod that automatically recognizes fraternal and identical twins and gives them unique gameplay.
What's new?
Automatic Elder / Younger Twin statuses and related gameplay
New satisfaction system of being twins with a visible relationship track, affecting the whole twin gameplay experience
More special moments: invent secret language, make up personal handshake, unique moodlets when taking shared photos
More personal interactions: comfort, tease or insult twin with phrases based on twins' personalities
Age specific interactions: share toy for toddlers, support bear phase for children, play mind reading (and actually learn something!) for children and teens
Attend school pretending a twin to improve school performance (or worse it ;D)
EMBARRASSINGLY LONG BRAIN-DUMP ON WORLD UNDERNEATH—CREASE
crease has to be one of the most bittersweet caleb tidbits we’ve gotten in a while. i have a lot of thoughts and i’m still making sense of them as i type this.
arguably the most important part is gideon reconciling who he used to know caleb to be with who caleb is now—how gideon comes to terms with the idea (in his own words, come to peace with) that the caleb he knew is gone
this is incredibly sad, especially after they give us such sweet moments of them at the DAA together
but it’s called crease. no matter how many times you fold the a sheet of paper, it is still the same sheet, no matter how many forms it takes. a paper plane or a origami crane. the creases remain, and the more times you fold it, the more pronounced they become—scarring the paper permanently.
i think the true essence of crease is not gideon and patrick rediscovering who caleb ACTUALLY is but caleb himself figuring out all these different versions of himself because none of them were fake, like gideon felt like (painful signal part). they’re all real.
but caleb has been broken so many times there’s…so many different versions of caleb and they’re all him. but even he himself doesn’t know who he is. in this anecdote we once again see his entire world revolves around me, unhealthily so. his identity is wrapped up in hers. there is no caleb without mc
mc herself faced this same thing, as we’ve seen. her struggle to understand who caleb is and her realizing he’s the same caleb she’s always known, just different. but of course, caleb LETS her see this—and it wasn’t easy for him to do so. i hope that gideon (and patrick) will have this same opportunity
because caleb is still caleb. he just looks a little different now from how many different times he’s been folded into what someone else needs
the context they’ve set up from different POVs truly make this read like a funeral. they create such a warm image of who caleb was when he was a DAA pilot
and it’s all very genuine, it’s hard to deny that caleb was genuinely this nonchalant guy who loved to cook for for his friends
we see him being the sun he’s always described to be. people are drawn to him and orbit him. he is a main character, even if he himself only has one main character in his life and it isn’t himself
and then of course they completely take this away from us, shattering this picture perfect image of DAA heartthrob with the new, cold, hated colonel of the farspace fleet
it makes it feel like that old version of caleb is dead. or maybe it never existed. but that’s not true.
multiple times in this anecdote they show us once again—caleb’s whole world revolves around mc. and that’s sweet and cute and we love our down bad puppy, but it’s also so toxic and incredibly sad
for this same reason he scored lowly on his mental health exam (pathless realm) and was recommended for psych evals.
his sense of self is completely wrapped up in mc—likely a trauma response to the constant state of fight or flight he had to live under as a child, needing to protect his little sister constantly while he was just a boy
i feel caleb himself barely knows who he is. he’s never had a chance to really be a child/teenager and then discover himself. so when he’s continuously folded and creased into different shapes, it’s hard for him to be able to recognize and know who he is.
his constant is that he is mc’s gege. that’s the one identity he cares about and trusts.
the way the DAA speaks about the farspace fleet and the colonel himself are really bitter and depressing, for good reason. everything they say about him is true.
caleb doesn’t have an attachment to earth, or even the world he lives in. in lucid dreams he said “if the world comes to an end, we can just move onto the next”
he only cares about mc. his duty is to protect mc, not the land beneath the sky.
he holds no reverence for the deepspace tunnel. when asked what the dangers of the job included were he literally could only say “it’s hard to get home.” he also almost died in the deepspace tunnel (which i want them to dive deeper into the horrors he experienced during this incident).
how can people like gideon and patrick understand caleb and recognize him when he can’t himself even really say who he is?
and i think the fold that left the deepest crease, the change he had to make that most obscured his perception of himself and his self identity, was becoming the colonel of the farspace fleet.
this was almost all but forced on him. of course he is willingly playing puppet (when he himself is the puppet master) but at the same time it’s not really his choice. he HAS to do this
he’s had to do things he promised he would never do again (locking mc up). he’s also done things i don’t think he’d normally do (not stopping mia’s death).
but again it’s not that this isn’t who he is. this is him to his core. mc’s gege, protector. someone who would and DOES do ANYTHING for her. but it’s like being this person has left wounds on himself that refuse to heal because every time they scab over, they get picked raw again.
it’s interesting. the caleb described in crease, DAA heartthrob, bright sunny xia yizhou. that is him. but so is that same colonel that made horrendous decisions in HCW (horrendous and flawed, yet…necessary)
neither was a facade and neither was a product of circumstance. both these versions of him are like EXTREME personifications of his best and worst traits.
it’s undeniable though, caleb DID put on a front in painful signal. at least in the chinese dub, you could actually hear the inflection in his VA change when it was just gideon and himself
he could barely let mc in, the most important person in his life. if he’s going to let anyone else in, it won’t be easy. after becoming the colonel—he’s folded to a near unrecognizable state and the creases of who he used to be (paperapple, DAA heartthrob, fun sunny caleb) are faded and just remnants of who he USED to be.
but they’re still there.
i hope that gideon and patrick, and caleb too, won’t give up on each other.
caleb has always been depicted as sunshine, as the sun itself. there’s so many moments where he is described as glowing as the sun shines on him—the sun itself is drawn to him.
but this is the first time (off the top of my head) that he is depicted as shadowed, as dark and not a source of light. it very much evokes the feeling that that bright caleb (sunshine caleb, DAA heartthrob) is gone and what’s left is the bitter cold remnants that is the colonel of the farspace fleet
but…he still brings undeniable joy and light to people who knew him and also DIDN’T know him. gideon and his juniors can laugh and feel lighter because of him—because of who he was
but he is still that person to the people he allows that rare chance (which is only mc now).
another, more positive, way to look at it is how said, in which caleb doesn’t let the creases that have formed define who he is and his fate and future.
caleb is a chameleon, he can and will adapt to any situation he’s but in because he has no other choice. he doesn’t have the luxury of leaning on someone (he won’t allow himself to) or breaking down because he has a family he needs to protect.
so while some people may look at him, mourn who he was, and come to terms that he’s not that same person, i’d rather look at it as he IS that person. he just looks a little different now.
same sheet of paper, just folded differently.
i really hope that we will get to see more of gideon and patrick and maybe caleb letting more people in. it really hurts to see people regard the colonel in this way. but its understandably difficult for them to understand that the caleb they knew (calming, encouraging, bright. summer’s day) exists. but so does the ruthless, unforgiving, cold colonel of the farspace fleet.
Just a collection of random headcannons for Poly!lads
•Rafayel dosent have just MC as his bodyguard anymore,everyone has done It at least once but Xavier and Caleb are the common options If MC is busy
•The chores in the house are organized this way
Coocking:Caleb or Zayne
Cleaning:Mc, Xavier and Rafayel
Laundry:Caleb or Xavier
Shopping:Sylus
•Zayne is the one who deals with the Bills and taxes,They have a shared account,Sylus is not on It becuse all of his money is dirty so he has a separte one
•Talia is overjoyed when She finds out about the Polycule,She was worried that her nephew was going to die alone and now he has 5 people to love him?thats a win
•On the Topic the lamurian's are very chill with this type of releashionship,love knows no bounds
•Gideon is very confused when He finds out and asks the weird questions,(Whith love)
•Jeremiah is just happy that Xavier is happy
•The twins are having the time of their lives now they have 6 parental figures,Caleb and Xavier act like the cool older brothers, Rafayel is the cool Uncle who lets them do What they want and Zayne is the responsibel father figure they can talk to
•Mephisto is now pulling doble dutie monitoring most of them,Zayne is expent
•Caleb is mephisto favorite thats is becuse-
•Caleb fixes mephisto up when Sylus cant
•Sylus is the one who makes repairs in Caleb's arm now,its much more slow then the machine but much less painfull
•Both Caleb and MC like Lumier and buy his merch this pisses Xavier off
•Zayne does everyone's physicals
•Sylus will buy them anything they want,Caleb wants a New model plane? bought, Rafayel wants some new painting suplys? Bought, Xavier wants some Old comic book? bought,Zayne wants some new sweets from his favorite Barkery, bought
•In so He is the best girft giver not just becuse of the money,everyone can buy What They want themselves but becuse He is very toughtfull while doing so
•In their 5 anniversery toghether Rafayel paints a big portrayt of the 6 toghether
NSFW stuff
•We all know the Caleb pantie sniffer headcannon i present to you,Caleb sniffs everyone's underwear headcannon
•They are distrubeted as:
Xavier: Mostly top
Rafayel: Switch
Zayne:Switch top leaning
Sylus:Switch
Caleb:Switch bottom leaning
•On the brat scale we have:
Xavier:Dom
Rafayel:Brat
Zayne:Brat tammer
Sylus:Brat anabler and Brat
Caleb:Brat anabler and good boy
•They have a schedule for Rafayel's Ebb day,Everyone does their part to Keep fishe happy
•They also made a schedule for sylus heat,that shows up in Shared bliss,Everyone gets out of the room pretty banged up after
Angsty things
•When Caleb has nightmares about Ever he looks for Xavier,the other Man calm Voice helps him sleep
•When Zayne wakes up as dawnbreaker Sylus is the one He talks to, Dawnbreaker can related to him more
•Right after Caleb joined was a very tense time in the group,It almost broke them apart
•Rafayel and Sylus team up to hunt down Carter after he harrassed Zayne again
•Xavier sometimes Really misses philosian food and so Sylus trys to help him coock some recipe He remembers from his childhood,but without the ingredientes its never the same
•Caleb,MC and Zayne will age like normal humans and that scares their more imortal lovers
Instead of adopting only two kids, in this universe Josephine adopts every child she can find who was once in the Gaia Research Center — ending up with Moon, Arthur, Bianca, Gabriel, Eve, and Caleb.
So she basically ends up running a private orphanage 😂
Now, going through everyone:
Moon (Caleb’s MC)
Short young woman with shoulder-length black hair and blue eyes; has worn glasses since she was 10.
Evol: Water
Closest to Caleb — she was clearly his favorite growing up.
Works at Asako too, but in the psych department as a therapist.
Took Caleb’s “death” the hardest; actually moved away from Linkon for a few months afterward. Came back to investigate the Skyhaven explosion (a very dumb decision).
Hates Professor Lucius with a passion — will kill that man the first chance she gets.
Friends with Zayne and later meets Xavier through Arthur (thinks he’s really cool).
Arthur (Xavier’s MC)
Brown-haired, brown-eyed guy with freckles across his face and body.
No Evol (was part of a control group in the lab).
Works as a police officer. Met Xavier during a joint operation between the Evol Police and the Hunters Association.
Later found out the two were neighbors.
Was pretty close to Moon growing up (Josephine had a sneaking suspicion they might actually be related).
Struggled after Caleb’s explosion, but Xavier helped him through it — they started dating not long after (he didn’t want to have the same regret Moon had if something happened).
Myth portion: A doomed romance from the start — Xavier could never openly be with him, being a prince and all. Their only hope was their little planet. He tried to force himself into the Backtrackers, but it didn’t end well.
Bianca (Zayne’s MC)
White-haired, red-eyed girl with very pale skin (albinism); has a genetic heart condition (not caused by the Protocore).
Evol: Wind
Works as a writer, mostly doing freelance projects.
Was instantly smitten with Zayne when she first saw him — you can totally imagine the girls having sleepovers and giggling about their crushes.
Was also quite close to Caleb, but Zayne helped her cope.
After finding out about everything Xander Sciences was doing, she started writing a private blog about them — it looks like a conspiracy site to outsiders.
Really wants to have a family someday, even if it might worsen her health.
Closest to Grandma Josephine, mostly because of her very mellow personality.
Gabriel (Sylus’s MC)
Short young man with curly blond hair and green eyes. Has scars across his body from overtraining as a kid.
Ever’s little bomb (the one with the Aether Core).
Works as a Hunter, ends up being Xavier’s partner since the two together are extremely efficient. Neither really tries to connect though. Would leave the Association for Onichydus in a heartbeat.
Evol: Resonance
Was extremely defensive and angry as a kid — mellowed out a bit, but not much. Has strained relationships with everyone he grew up with.
Hated Sylus at first, but eventually started to feel safe around him (he couldn’t explain why 👀).
Seemed the most “okay” after Caleb and Josephine’s deaths, but inside he was a mess — he’d really learned to love the old woman.
Hated the twins at first, but eventually became an older-brother figure to them.
Myth portion: I can see him going full berserk after Sylus’s death, killing everyone around him in revenge.
Eve (Rafayel’s MC)
Dark-skinned, beautiful young woman with curly brown hair and brown eyes.
Works as a model — was contacted by an agency at age 16 for her looks.
Evol: Regeneration
Met Rafayel at one of his art exhibitions — was actually interested in the art, not just the artist.
Has scars on her arms from the experiments when she was a kid, which she hides.
Was the cool popular girl in high school, but never mean.
Was deeply saddened by both Caleb’s and Josephine’s deaths — she’s the one who covered the funeral costs.
Can be a bit too serious sometimes, probably because, after Caleb, she was the oldest and had a lot of responsibility on her shoulders
≫ SYNOPSIS what happens when you marry the love of your life?—4 kids. yes, you and caleb are happily married couple with 4 kids. three boys and one girl. caleb didn't expect fatherhood to punch him straight into the guts but this is also the greatest legacy he's ever had. and he's more than happy with his wife and little armies.
≫ CW fluff, fluff and FLUFF, mild crack, caleb is a dad and has four kids, yes four kids, three mini–caleb, one mini–you, domestic life, established relationship, married couple with kids, mention of giving birth, kids everywhere (in a cute way)
≫ CHERRY'S NOTE for someone who's not fond of kids i cried while writing this. maybe my need of wanting to be seen in my father's eyes is shaped into caleb's daughter being “daddy’s princess”.
