Behind The Green Apron: A bitching Barista

A collection of the millions of reasons why your barista probably hates you

[moondustbarista-blog]

Loving this

Days like this I love my job! Great pace and a good partner, giving us plenty of time to test out some yummy summer frappucino flavors! Key Lime Pie, Coconut Macaroon, and Lemon Cookie!

[moondustbarista-blog]

Meanwhile I'm over here with swans looking like half formed embryos FML

[moondustbarista-blog]

My SS ENTERPRISE

[thebaristalifeofficial]

When I’m making my own drink, I have ridiculous standards and know perfection cannot be achieved by someone else. WHY ARE MY SHOTS JUST SITTING THERE 😩 #BaristaLife

[moondustbarista-blog]

Every damn time😒

[moondustbarista-blog]

That time I got coached....

So yesterday I got coached for "the store getting a call that I made a ladies drink wrong 3 times"....now I'm thinking....I think I'd KNOW if I ran a drink wrong 3 damn times but I take the coaching because I don't wanna piss off the new manager...come to find out what I did wrong? I didn't " put a caramel wall on her cup". Like......just.... THAT SHIT AINT STANDARD!!! You gotta ask for that shit. And if you did and you didn't get it talk to your person on the register and let me run the damn bar in peace damn!

[thebaristalifeofficial]

Absolutely, ma'am….*walks into backroom and immediately hops on B to talk mad shit* #BaristaLife 🤷‍♀️ {📸: coffeeshopcoffeeshopcoffeeshop on Tumblr}

[moondustbarista-blog]

And make it decaf for good measure;)

[thebaristalifeofficial]

Never gets old 😂 @sethrogen #TBT #BaristaLife

[thebaristalifeofficial]

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She said it so the rest of us didn’t have to 😩😂 #BaristaLife {📸: @aliciagoku_}

[moondustbarista-blog]

🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

[moondustbarista-blog]

Customer #41 in a 40 person rush “what can i get you today” “grande pike’s, black”

[moondustbarista-blog]

me every time a customer starts bitching that I can't stir their drink for them....yes I'm totally the one that created Starbucks’ “no spoons on the bar, free pour everything” policy...because nothing amuses me more than free pouring extra dry cappuccinos....

[moondustbarista-blog]

Can we please establish a universal rule for not being a twat while ordering tea and Starbucks ..?

“I need a tea.”   

“Green, Black or Passion”.  

“Regular.”   

“so Black?”.  

No! Green*ugh*  

What size? 

“I don't know, regular..”

*blank stare”

Ugh lemme see the cups” *decides on grande*

“Sweetened or Unsweetened” 

‘Yes but just a little bit, not too much”

“put less than the normal”

CUSTOMER 8 outta 10 TIMES BRINGS IT BACK AND SAYS ITS NOT SWEET ENOUGH....

[moondustbarista-blog]

Here's how it's gonna go...

Hey guys, decade long barista here recently decided to slap on that hideous green apron and sell my soul to the Siren . Now as a disclaimer I love working for this Starbucks, what we all hate though are the STUPID bastards we deal with in the daily. And as I won the geographical lottery and live in the south....it gets even stupider. Seeing as how bitching about said "guests" would be "frowned upon" on Facebook I'll be settling them in right here for the world to see. Send me your best and worst stories, dumbest drinks, biggest pain in the ass encounters....all the trash. Right here. At least we can all suffer together 😆 And please..if you insist on doing a "rate my drink" don't be surprised when you don't like what you hear.