m

I love staring at the moon :)

[moonlitsadnessstuff]

but who am I kidding acting like im over you?

i love the sight of you on top of me.

[moonlitsadnessstuff]

I like getting high and hating you even more than I usually do when im sober

#

[moonlitsadnessstuff]

good news is,

i don’t feel like exhausting myself into feeling something one-sided anymore.

i’ve done enough of that,

especially with you.

all that energy, emotion, and passion

i could’ve poured it into my work,

my art,

people who actually stayed.

i think i’m drained enough now.

and maybe that’s why i finally know:

i can detach from you anytime i want.

[moonlitsadnessstuff]

hey. goodbye.

i know this cycle by heart.

fuck you.

[moonlitsadnessstuff]

help me detox from you.

just respond dry.

help me stay away.

stop reaching out.

help me stop hoping.

take longer to reply or maybe dont reply at all.

help me unlove you.

burst my bubble that you were ever in love with me.

tell me i read too much into it.

tell me the little things weren’t what i thought they were.

tell me i wasn’t different.

tell me i wasn’t special.

tell me i built a whole story out of moments that meant nothing to you.

so help me get over you.

just be exactly who you’ve always been.

[moonlitsadnessstuff]

[moonlitsadnessstuff]

Your hug felt like the way finger gaps fit together.

Your kiss feels like the pause button in a chaotic world.

Somehow, with you, even my messiest thoughts feel safe.

a parking lot conversation is blissful with you,

a glimpse of you makes me thinks of how nice it would be if i could see this face first thing in a day right next to me.

I wanna make you happy, I wanna do everything that could possibly make you feel at ease.

my love may be intense but its also very innocent.

it just wants to give…

i think the scariest thing is that if i told you exactly how much i love you,

you might not know what to do with it.

[wisteriagroves-deactivated20260]

you're scared of disappointing people, but is anyone scared of disappointing you?

[moonlitsadnessstuff]

my soul is ninety years old.

unfortunately my face keeps telling people

i’m in my twenties,

so they expect optimism.

tragic misunderstanding, really.

i cope with humour,

collect emotional damage like souvenirs,

judge nobody,

trust too much,

and remain painfully devoted

to the idea of purity.

a comedy, apparently.

[moonlitsadnessstuff]

I realized you weren’t the person—I was chasing a familiar feeling.

The push and pull felt like home because that’s what I learned love was growing up.

It was dopamine, not depth.

I see it now. I’m out of it.

I’m self-aware.

[moonlitsadnessstuff]

turns out

you weren’t special,

just familiar.

i thought i wanted you

but really i wanted the feeling

of almost being chosen.

i learned early

that love came with conditions,

so my nervous system

thinks maybes are romantic.

push & pull felt cute

because that’s what felt safe.

it wasn’t love,

it was dopamine doing parkour

every time you pulled away.

anyway.

i clocked the pattern.

healed a little.

stopped romanticizing the chase.

still soft.

just not stupid anymore.

[moonlitsadnessstuff]

I embarrass myself

every time I text you.

you’d think

I’d learn.

[moonlitsadnessstuff]

You’re not worth

my sensitive heart.

[moonlitsadnessstuff]

I’m not thinking about you anymore.

But some nights my mind still walks the old path

where your name lived.

I still don’t text you.

Don’t call you.

You’re online,

talking to someone else,

and I refuse to wander there.

Some distances

I keep on purpose.

[makingsenseofwhathappened]

hi. just a reminder

you’ve taken so many wrong turns the universe probably thinks you’re sightseeing

but you’re still moving collecting clues finding the roads that fit your feet

hope won't always feel like hope sometimes it’s just you showing up again

love, someone who keeps tripping into better directions

[moonlitsadnessstuff]

but i still love you :(

and it’s pathetic, i know—

how i still crave your face.

i miss your voice,

the way it wrapped around me.

and every time i’m high,

I see you

smiling at me

with that soft, ruined sweetness

i can’t unlearn.

it’s stupid

how my heart keeps replaying you

like a glitch

i secretly hope never gets fixed.

[moonlitsadnessstuff]

how dare i do that,

forget myself

for a moment that wasn’t real.