hello hell no. jk welcome nice to see ya here

So basically I'm a confused girlie trying to find time and energy to create and do some fun/smart/interesting things. PJO, Greek mythology, Demon Slayer, Epic the Musical, TDP, Arcane. Also I love the Moon. Pan, about 65% girl, 15% boy and 20% dumbass. Feel free to call me JJ, JD or Moonie

[moonshadowbreathinguser]

As you probably know by now, I overthink A LOT. My pet snake refused to eat last time I fed her, she also didn’t shed (and she usually does every 5-6 weeks. Now it’s been 7-8 and still nothing). I was worried sick about her, because WHAT IF I’M STRESSING HER WITH SOMETHING I DO AND THAT’S WHY SHE’S GONNA STARVE AND OH MY GOD I’M GONNA KILL HER 😭

But she ate. I gave her her usual mouse yesterday evening, this morning it was gone. I’m not the worst pet owner in the world 🥳

And here’s a photo of her because you deserve to see this cutie

[moonshadowbreathinguser]

I’ve been thinking a lot about hellenic polytheism lately. I really don’t want it to come out as bad, but… It fucking worries me. I’m a catholic (or am I? I started questioning a few years ago and still haven’t stopped) and I think about it in a „what would it be like to convert” type of way, instead of a ‚not sinful’ „what is that religion about” way. Because the first commandment is „Thou shalt have no other gods before me” and I don’t know what level of religious anxiety it is, but I constantly feel like every time I think about it, I gotta add some „but I don’t ACTUALLY believe in that heh” at the end. Because „God is always watching”. And don’t get me wrong, I don’t practice that much. I pray rarely, almost don’t go to church and listen to lots and lots of atheists or people who converted from christianity to something else on yt. I really don’t know what to think or do about it

Oh and also because I’m 16, I feel like IF. IF I were to EVER convert, I’m too young and indecisive to make that big of a decision (yeah I think that’s also something I was taught „you’re too young for [this]! And also [that]!”

Anyways bye my stars

[moonshadowbreathinguser]

Bro

BRO IT LOOKS SO GOOD

The best thing is it absolutely SLAYS when I’m wearing headphones. And caps. Like it’s literally so peak 🥹

[moonshadowbreathinguser]

Psst… I have an idea… A wolf cut, purple and green streaks and eyebrow piercing…

Now I just gotta get the courage to tell my parents (piercing might be the most difficult to convince them)

[moonshadowbreathinguser]

DUDES MY MOM IS TAKING ME TO HER HAIRSTYLIST TOMORROW!!!

I’M CUTTING MY STUPID LONG ASS HAIR!!!

Shit I hope the wolfcut will suit me

And I DEFINITELY need some section(s) bleached

Next step is convincing my mom that an eyebrow piercing is the best Christmas gift…

[moonshadowbreathinguser]

Lately my family situation was… Well, quite strange and full of plot twists to put it lightly. Due to some things that happened in the last few days my mom tried to talk with me about what I think about it today. At some point she suggested that maybe she could sign me up for some therapy… WHY DID I RUN AWAY AND LOCKED MYSELF IN THE BATHROOM INSTEAD OF SAYING „YES MOM THAT WOULD BE NICE SINCE I HAVE MAJOR MENTAL ISSUES SINCE I WAS LIKE 9”????? Like I was considering asking her about that for the last few months (the entire school year) but I really really hate talking about my emotions with anyone

And that’s my life rn… Anyways 🥰 I’m meeting with @froggydrawz tomorrow though so it’s great

[moonshadowbreathinguser]

Like I’m so fucked up at this point that even doing things I like or used to like is just another stress generator because I’m either not as good as I used to be or it doesn’t come out the way I want it to. Yes, even the fact that I don’t read as fast and often as before makes me upset about myself.

Okay, maybe I will consider the therapy thing… Maybe

[moonshadowbreathinguser]

I DID CONSIDER THERAPY AND TOLD MY MOM I WANNA GO 🥳🥳🥳

But of course my brain shut down in the middle of our talk so as always I couldn’t fully explain what I was feeling (and also I can’t tell my mom all the reasons for my problems, I’ll let her believe it’s only school and our family situation). Anyways kinda proud of myself

[moonshadowbreathinguser]

Why is he looking at me like that? Bro, just sleep with your homie Blurb, it’s not that big of a deal

[moonshadowbreathinguser]

I sneaked this little kitty when we were in a shop with my grandma… AND MY SISTER ALMOST GAVE ME AWAY WITH SAYING „Why does it have a flag?” Girl SHUT UP

[moonshadowbreathinguser]

I didn’t really get the concept of „I don’t deserve to feel good” mentality until yesterday, when after I went on a not working slide at the pool (I’m shortsighted and don’t wear classes while in water, also I am kinda stupid when it comes to noticing detailes like this) I refused to go on any slides because I felt like I needed to punish myself for being an idiot

So yeah, I think I might consider therapy… Maybe

[moonshadowbreathinguser]

Y’know what pains me? That I would’ve passed as a boy today IF ONLY it weren’t for my long ass hair and girl ass name and voice. And if I had a binding sports bra

I was feeling like such a cute boy today and then I remembered how my face looks and that everyone would call me „ma’am” instead of „sir”. Like I really wanna see how I feel like with being taken as a guy but with my current appearance it only happens when my hair hidden with a hat and my chest is covered with a few layers of clothes

AND YES I know that „you should feel comfortable with yourself regardless of what others think and what you look like” yes I heard that shit a million times. Doesn’t change my mind about today tho

[moonshadowbreathinguser]

Pinky up?

[moonshadowbreathinguser]

I just got THE alien from my grandparents 🥰 Guys what should I name him? Or her? Or them?

[skidfarts]

Yes im great i say with a huge hole in my stomach very visible and gushing blood and all my intestines leaking out

[moonshadowbreathinguser]

Reminds me of one of your sons @froggydrawz

[moonshadowbreathinguser]

Lately my family situation was… Well, quite strange and full of plot twists to put it lightly. Due to some things that happened in the last few days my mom tried to talk with me about what I think about it today. At some point she suggested that maybe she could sign me up for some therapy… WHY DID I RUN AWAY AND LOCKED MYSELF IN THE BATHROOM INSTEAD OF SAYING „YES MOM THAT WOULD BE NICE SINCE I HAVE MAJOR MENTAL ISSUES SINCE I WAS LIKE 9”????? Like I was considering asking her about that for the last few months (the entire school year) but I really really hate talking about my emotions with anyone

And that’s my life rn… Anyways 🥰 I’m meeting with @froggydrawz tomorrow though so it’s great

[moonshadowbreathinguser]

Like I’m so fucked up at this point that even doing things I like or used to like is just another stress generator because I’m either not as good as I used to be or it doesn’t come out the way I want it to. Yes, even the fact that I don’t read as fast and often as before makes me upset about myself.

Okay, maybe I will consider the therapy thing… Maybe

[moonshadowbreathinguser]

Lately my family situation was… Well, quite strange and full of plot twists to put it lightly. Due to some things that happened in the last few days my mom tried to talk with me about what I think about it today. At some point she suggested that maybe she could sign me up for some therapy… WHY DID I RUN AWAY AND LOCKED MYSELF IN THE BATHROOM INSTEAD OF SAYING „YES MOM THAT WOULD BE NICE SINCE I HAVE MAJOR MENTAL ISSUES SINCE I WAS LIKE 9”????? Like I was considering asking her about that for the last few months (the entire school year) but I really really hate talking about my emotions with anyone

And that’s my life rn… Anyways 🥰 I’m meeting with @froggydrawz tomorrow though so it’s great

[vetchtibbles]

oh you’re a music fan? name three notes

[froggydrawz]

@moonshadowbreathinguser

[moonshadowbreathinguser]

But like notes as in c d e? Or ćwierćnuta, półnuta, ósemka? (Idk in English I was taught in Polish)

[moonshadowbreathinguser]

Also yesterday I made a Tui and La fanart

[moonshadowbreathinguser]

I hate pastels. I really don’t like drawing with them. But today I made this with a tutorial from pinterest…

I love it 🥰 it’s sooo good