i'm sleepy @moonsyrin - Tumblr Blog

So at the beginning of October technically the end of September, I experienced Guillain barre syndrome. For those of you who don't know, it's basically where your antibodies

Immune system attacks your nervous system. I became paralyzed and my heart eventually stopped working. I died. Luckily my mom was there to get help because the hospital I was at all this is in my head and that I had conversion syndrome. It's basically was if I wanted to walk I would but I don't want to so therefore I can't basically. I was brought back it took them a half hour I believe and then they sent me to another hospital where I was diagnosed with GBS. It has been a rough ride and I have been in rehab since the end of December. I have not been home since October and I miss my fiance more than anything. Oh yeah I got engaged. Nick proposed to me in November and I was able to say yes even though I had a trach in. It's made it hard to actually speak using my voice but I was able to actually do it eventually and it healed and now I have my own voice back to the way it was. Hopefully I'm able to go home soon that I've been talks Of Me doing that. There's just a lot that needs to be done and hopefully it can happen soon. I'm sorry for taking up your timeline with my rambling but I haven't found time to explain why I Disappeared for a while. You can see the trach scar in my picture that I uploaded. I am currently in a wheelchair and I can't walk due to my ankles being all sorts of messed up. I'm hoping that I'll be able to walk at some point. I have braces that help me walk though and a walker. I'm just hoping that I can do all this at home and I know Nick will help. Okay I will stop talking for real now. I hope you guys have had a great basically year. I love you all

moonsyrin

If this is the first time you guys are coming across my blog this might help explain some things. I have a brain injury due to being dead for a half hour. I use text to talk wherever I write a post or text on my phone. It's even hard to write in person and it's getting harder to speak sometimes because of my slur and I tend to stutter. I should be going home soon I finally heard back from my insurance company after months of them messing around. I have a stair chair that can help me get up and down the stairs whenever I need it. I also am getting my own wheelchair, Walker, and shower bench once I am home. I've been here since the end of December so I am reaching my limit mentally. I'm on so many different medicine that I barely know what's going on around me or what day it is but that can also be the brain injury too. I'm sick and tired of waking up everyday to the same room that I've been in by myself and it's driving me insane but I hope that going home will help alleviate some of that at least. Also I sometimes post things on my Twitter which is the same name as my Tumblr account

EDT::::

So I'm home now and have been since the end of September. I still can't walk without my braces and help from someone 🙃 but I'm getting stronger. I go to physical therapy twice a week and I love my therapist. He's so nice and actually lives behind my mom lol. I'm still with Nick but we're not engaged anymore. I'm honestly not sure what will happen to us. I'm scared I'll be kicked out and won't have anywhere to go.

I have four aides that come at night so I'm not alone. They help me in the bathroom and cook for me. They will stay longer when Nick goes back to work in December. I hope things get better.

It takes me a long time to type my responses because I use one finger to type 🙃 and that's because I am constantly shaking. It sucks honestly. It's hard to hold my phone since my left hand doesn't like to work correctly. Maybe another time I will talk about what I was diagnosed with throughout my life.

EDT AGAIN::::

Hey I found the time to talk about what else I've been diagnosed with throughout my life. So let's start with ADHD I'm sure that's a given considering I bounce all over the place with my thoughts and what I post. I also have anxiety and depression long before the GBS happened but it has gotten much worse since I was diagnosed with that back in October of 2023. I'm afraid of most things. I don't like being left alone but luckily I have some people who can help me throughout the days. I also have borderline personality disorder and dependent personality disorder I'm sure those were given to me by my lovely parents. I also twitch now which I never did before I died so who knows what's up with that. I also guess I have seizures now but I haven't had one since being in the coma that I was in back in October not last year though. I'm on a lot of medicine for seizures and also for pain the only two that aren't for pain or seizures is my iron and birth control. So it's whatever I guess. I think I have other disorders that I haven't been diagnosed with yet I can't remember them right now because the brain injury has impacted my memory or lack thereof. So I'm sorry if you ever say anything to me and I forget. I'm so tired all the time and no amount of sleep is going to help me. Oh before I forget, I have another Botox appointment for my legs on the 14th of this month January for those reading this later. It's supposed to be a higher dose so who knows what's going to happen because I surely don't. And then the day after I go see a surgeon to talk about releasing the Achilles tendon in hopes that will straighten out my legs and feet so maybe one day I will be able to walk without the help of a walker or even my braces. That would be nice. Because I really miss having my life. It was taken away from me and even though I probably deserved it I miss what I had.

EDIT ONCE AGAIN:::::::

Hey just wanted to say that I'm getting new braces that should fix my feet. Also I'm NOT engaged anymore. We sleep in separate rooms and I don't know what's going to happen. All I know is that I'm tired of everything and want my pain to go away.

Check out my wishlist and maybe buy me something? I finally got the dang thing working! I had to become a creator which is the dumbest thing but it's whatever