5 times remus has asked you to marry him and 1 extra.
tags: remus lupin x f!reader,, fluff,, angst,, no mention of the word y/n,, childhood friends to lovers,, mutual pining,, character death
first time at 5 years old;
your eldest sister was off to marry in spring and so naturally the whole house was buzzing with excitement and terror. and you, like any impressionable child, felt the tingles of something exciting happening before your very eyes.
lulu, your best ultimate mate as you so graciously dubbed him, felt this energy too.
or at least the many flowers and coloured envelopes scattered on the table, seem to ring some alarms for him.
“this table is too small,” he frowns, stopping his pretend chopping of the leaves, and looking longingly at the dinner table, filled with scattered wedding paraphernalia.
you shrugged, ponytail swishing as you move around him.
“we have to make room, my sister is to be mary.” you confidently repeated what your mum said to you in the morning. when you had whined at the lack of play space.
now you’re humming like it’s obvious, why you were given a child’s table and now have to play kitchen with one pot instead of four because of the lack of space. the confident pretence of a child to show they’re mature enough not to complain.
“why does she have to be mary?” he asks, his shoulder bumping into you, “i thought she likes her name hilda?”
you scoff, clearly lulu does not know of the way of being mary. so naturally, you being older (by a few months) needs to teach him. or else, however is he going to be a proper grown up?
“because she wants to be a wife. so she has to be mary first.”
“a wife?” he asks intrigued, “like mummy and daddy?”
you laugh, patting his head, “only mummies can be a wife, silly. daddies are hus-butts.” you stood straighter, having this conversation with your mum before. “mother says, you have to love first and then be a mary. so you can play with them even after dinner and eat chocolates and make children.”
he seems to perk up even more, looking at you. his eyes as usual, gleaming with obvious awe, “to make children? with what?”
you pout, having no answer.
you haven’t asked your mum this question yet. too busy thinking of how many mary’s there are in your town.
still, you try to think of an answer.
you don’t want to let lulu down, you are after all his only hope for knowing things.
luckily, you’ve overheard this one conversation last week, your sister moving after she becomes mary so they can begin making a family.
you raise your head, hand on your hip and your other pointed as if in a lecture.
you said in your most confident voice. “you enter specific rooms in the house, and always make sure it’s locked. and then you wait until you can come out with children. but you must only do this if you love them. that is the ultimate rule. or else it won’t work.”
“wow,” he breathed, he clenched his fists then, looking utmost determined. before screaming in glee and confidence, the only way a naive child could. “then let’s make children! be mary and then we can play all night!”
you clicked your tongue, disappointed he hadn’t comprehended. “but you should love me first.”
his cheeks heated pink, indignant, “but i do. i love you a whole lot! and i wanna play here all the time.”
you shook your head, grim. “we can’t.” sounding so heartbroken, as much as any five year old could sound.
because you’ve already asked your mum if you could make children with lulu and she said, you’re only suppose to do that if you’re a grown up in love.
you asked, what’s the difference? you were plenty grown. 5 is one hand after all.
and your sister said to you, amusement lacing her words, a grown up to take care of you and cherish you. someone able to help you and grow with you.
you look at lulu. his thin arms and his lack of knowledge.
certainly not a grown up. not a proper man who can be with you, at all.
“i don’t love you, so we can’t.” you say this huffing, now turning completely to your make shift pot and stirring the water and leaves.
lulu cried loud that day, wailing like a little kid.
and nodding to yourself knowing you’ve made the right choice. he is so not a grown up. even if his pinched face made you feel queasy.
your mum rushing over and asking what was wrong. when you told her, she laughed out loud, and hugged you both, brushing remus’ hair out of his tear streaked face.
and you wonder what was so funny when he looked so sad.
second time at 11 years old;
remy was horrified.
you realize this as he stares at you in a crazed panic. and as always, it was up to you to be strong.
“what do you mean by that?” puffing your chest out and stood to cover remy from potter.
“didn’t you know? kissing makes girls pregnant.” he whispered, loudly in the empty halls, scandalized as he went to look at your stomach as if it will inflate this instant.
you fight the urge to cover that area with your robes. willing yourself to be brave for the both of you.
“surely… that isn’t true.”
potter scoffs, offended to have been doubted, “yes it is, i heard a prefect say so.”
you feel remy grab the back of your robes in panic. the reference enough to persuade him. you almost roll your eyes, but instead sighed to calm yourself down.
“i ought to tell you lot to be careful.” potter looked at the both of you meaningfully, and inhaling sharply as a flash of embarrassment burns into your brain.
you weren’t able to will the heat of your cheeks to dissipate, before it showed on your cheeks. your face and neck warmed red. mortified that potter knows the secret kiss shared between you and your friend, currently pulling at your robes.
it was both of your first kiss, deciding to just get it all over with, so you both can know what was so special about it.
it wasn’t much.
it felt soft, and quick.
nothing at all sparkling or romantic, like others said.
“alert your parents immediately, else you might be kicked out. and i’ve grown quite fond of the two of you, you know.” potter nodded at you, looking as if he pitied you both before crossing his arms as he strutted away.
you look at remy fully now. he was standing too close and still holding unto your robes like a lifeline.
“did you really have to tell potter of all people what we did?” you scoff, crossing your arms and tapping your feet like how your mother used to do it when she was cross with something.
he seemed to shrink into himself more, “i’m sorry, he said he saw it, and pestered me into confessing.” he bit his lips to bleed. “i didn’t know you were gonna be in trouble.” he sniffled.
and you immediately cooled, reaching forward and pulling at his chin to stop his assault and softly rubbing at his bleeding lips with your robes with another click of your tongue.
“it’s fine, he already saw, nothing else we can do.”
“so, what are we going to do now?” he asked softly, he looked at you, eyes filling with worry and sadness. “what if you are? we’ll get in trouble, won’t we?”
you bring down your arm now, before breathing out deeply.
you try to think of why it wouldn’t be true, but the tone of his voice was making you worry endlessly too.
even though you know it wasn’t all true, because your sister kissed her husband plenty of times in the house and they don’t have kids.
and you were about to point that out to him. to reassure your ever warm, too soft friend, that james potter was full of it and to relax.
but remy stood straighter, his cold hands gripping yours tightly, so much that it hurts. now standing a bit taller than you. pink lips pulled into a straight line and eyes looking straight at you. soft brown eyes no longer holding any worry, instead with resolute determination.
“marry me,” he said, “i promise to look after our children and work.” he nodded at you, as if urging you to say yes. to trust him.
a look entirely different from what you remembered from way before, yet feeling all the same regardless.
the reason of proposal was ridiculous in of itself that you couldn’t help but laugh.
“i’m not pregnant you dolt, pregnancy doesn’t work that way. i assure you.” rolling your eyes in amusement. “so don’t you go proposing like some weirdo.”
he stopped for a second, as if startled as he kept looking at you. before leaving a shaky sigh, head hanging low.
“okay,” his lips in a wobbly smile, looking weird. “good.”
third time at 17 years old;
sirius had managed to sneak in a case of firewhisky in one winning after-party in the common room.
it was safe to assume that everyone was positively sloshed. if judging from the slurring exclaims from james and a red face peter barely able to stand and sirius laughing maniacally at something marlene has said to him.
and remus being the self-appointed responsible one, had taken it upon himself to maintain sobriety the entire night. to look after the three of them in the aftermath.
resolutely sitting next to you the whole night, engaging in a missed conversation about gossip and literature.
“still feeling confident you can handle these three blokes up in your room?”
he grimaced, already rubbing his temples, probably from regret and the james’ incessant off-key singing. “i don’t really have much of a choice now, do i?”
you laugh easy, “with the way james is attempting to strip, i think not. you did volunteer, taking responsibility and what not.”
he sighed rather audibly, over the soft music of the party that was already dying down. most of the attendees already settling into their respective rooms.
and you look at remus, slumped into the chair, and laugh to yourself.
still so helpless, you think. you guess you had to step up again. pick up the slack a little bit.
you try to trick yourself into thinking you were tired and miffed about it, but you find you quite like feeling needed. especially by remus.
whom of which seems to be way into being responsible now and being a proper grown up. one that follows curfew and plans his day.
he barely looks at you for help anymore.
he always has an answer to questions now.
as the boys depend on him for being the responsible one in their little foursome.
off to late night adventures and pranks. no longer the crying, awe struck, nervous kid you grew up knowing. makes you feel kind of sad.
“alright then,” you exhaled, “i’ll lend you a hand for dealing with the demons.” you stood up whilst downing your drink, a sweet concoction by dorcas.
he looks up at you, eyes looking bloodshot and tired. he softly shook his head, “you don’t have to.”
you frown, clicking your tongue and placing a hand on each of your hips. “i said i’ll do it, so i’m going to. now stand up and let’s go.”
he looked at you just a second longer and sighs looking away, a soft smile etched on lips before looking at you again. looking won over.
standing up, dusting the invisible dirt on his trousers and nodding.
he towers over you now, seemingly out of no where.
you realize this as your neck strain looking up at him. as you gather the rowdy, intoxicated boys back to the dorms.
something sirius was extremely grateful for and the others echoed.
“thanks for— for taking care of me darling,” sirius breathed hot into your face before pecking you on the cheek.
“yes, you’re very welcome,” you hummed amused, tucking his covers into his sides, making sure he couldn’t move out of bed.
sirius giggles, “it feels like being tucked in by a mum,” before looking at you serious, eyes wide and looking more sober than he actually was, as if realizing something.
“you’re the mum in the group!” he exclaimed.
“im the what?”
james overhears this and exclaims his agreements.
“oh you are! you’re the perfect mum size!” james said.
you turn to him, “and what’s that supposed to mean?” you ask hotly.
“you’re very caring and mum-like, and you scold like a mum too, sometimes you even talk like one,” peter mumbled.
you look at remus, giving you an amused look, lips stretching like close to laughing.
“this is going to be the last time i’m helping you lot, if you call me mum one more time.” you threatened lightly.
sirius hums loud like he doesn’t believe you, “it’s not all bad, not like you’re gonna be a single-mum. remus is gonna be the dad after all.” he said like he was so sure.
and james, of ourse, echoed his agreements.
“obviously,” james tutted from his bed, tucked in tight by remus.
“yesh,” peter slurred, “he looks like—remus looks like he knows how to read maps.” he breathes out, like on a verge of sleeping.
james gasps, “he does! remus is a map reading dad, nothing has made more sense than this moment right here. you are meant to hold a map in your hands remus, you’re a daddy compass.”
remus looks perturbed, eyebrows scrunched and lips into a tight frown. he shakes his head then, before closing each of their curtains, not even bothering to justify james’ quip. “night lads,”
“night dad,” sirius teased from his bed, before shuddering excessively, “never thought i’d say that again.”
you snort out a laugh before you could help it. “good night everyone.”
you look at remus, and see him gesture to come outside.
quietly walking out of their room and closing the door behind you.
“come, i’ll walk you out.” grabbing your hand softly and pulling you down the corridor to the stairs. dropping his hold just as quick as if he hadn’t meant to hold it in the first place.
“sorry about the lads, the lack of filter is unfortunately not the effect of alcohol but is just them naturally.”
you chuckle softly, rubbing your tingling palms on the side of your skirt.
as if you didn’t know that already. those three have already been a staple into your everyday life for majority of the year. they, quite frankly, grow on you like some persistent vine on a house.
“it’s fine, it was quite tame compared to the usual rubbish they spew most of the time.”
remus looks at you, barely able to hide the smirk emerging from his lips.
“don’t tell me you liked them calling you mum?” the teasing lilt in his voice impossible to miss.
you lightly push on his shoulders. “don’t be disgusting, being called their mum is weird enough. and you implying i like it just makes it even weirder.”
“well imagine being called daddy compass by one of your mates, it’s gonna be hard looking at james tomorrow morning i’ll tell you that.”
you laugh excessively loud at this, before covering your mouth sheepish as you remember the time.
you look over at him, up and down as if assessing, “but you do look like a dad who knows how to read maps. wears khakis all the time and has a moustache.”
he rolls his eyes at you, as you grin in mirth, “well does that mean you’ll do me the honours of marrying me to avoid the life of a single parent to three demon boys?”
you laugh, shaking your head, “not exactly selling your case to me, are you?”
“won’t you reconsider though?” he moans, like he’s pained but you see the glint in his eyes even in the dark dorm room stairs. “it is after all for the children.”
you know he’s joking, hardly a night of partying counts as anything like a proper proposal.
but your brain can’t help but supply the thought that he looked quite fuller now. arms looking sturdier, and harder. he is acting more responsibly, all the professors trust him.
he was almost like a proper grown up now.
and you remember the echo of the ultimate rule in your childhood.
you shake your head, and an easy smile spread on your lips. stopping at the stairs for your dorms, “over my dead body,”
and he laughs, the sound echoing in the trashed common room, “well alright, good night, beautiful.”
“good night remus.”
fourth time at 19 years old;
you knew james was serious about lily when you lot had graduated from hogwarts. but you didn’t know the extent of the seriousness until he said this after one of the order meetings.
“i’m going to ask lily to marry me.”
james had said this with such conviction, so sure and full of affection. you can’t help but feel awed.
he suddenly seemed mature. not like the doofus you’ve come to know and consider a confidant through these trying times.
but a proper adult, one who does taxes and knows how to set up an appointment for medical check ups and fights in wars.
james suddenly feeling very far away from you.
you feel remus shift, his leg pressing into yours. you look at him to see what he wanted, but saw he was just looking at james, eyes set hard.
you shook yourself out of your stupor. standing up abruptly, not meaning to leave the familiar press of remus’ leg against your thigh.
“that’s—that’s great news james, i would have never guessed you—oh you’re all grown up!” you wrap your arms around his shoulders, and him wrapping his around your middle with a giddy smile.
“thank you, mum.” he laughs, the on going joke still running strong. you squeeze him extra tight and pinching his arm for extra measure. before pulling away. “i never thought you had it in you to propose. i’d have half a mind to propose to lily on your behalf.”
he laughs, a bashful blush resting on his cheeks. “i figured, why wait, you know? tomorrow isn’t promised, and—i think spending every moment together is we all can do. i don’t want to die with regrets. i love her.”
you breathed in deep.
sirius coming forward too and slapping james in the back before giving his own congratulations and then peter and then remus too.
you were happy for them both, truly, having found one another even in these difficult times was awe-inspiring.
and then you start to wretchedly wonder if you could have that too. if only the circumstances were a bit different. would you have been given enough time to find another? enough to love? enough to marry?
you find your gaze sliding to remus, how strained his smile looked and wonder if he’s thinking the same.
he looked back at you, as he always does, and smiles gently. less strained now. like he was resigned.
you try to imagine if the circumstances were a bit different and he would find someone to love. someone to marry.
you feel your navel, coil in a bundle of nerves. a tension in your neck making you almost irate.
he gestured for you to follow him out.
like being compelled and weak, you follow without a question.
the night air was chilly, and feeling some sort of static on your skin, like building an unnerving suspense.
remus just sat and gestured for you to sit beside him.
the seat was cold, and you sat rigid like ice.
it’s been a while since you’ve last sat with remus like this. the order keeping all your hours occupied, mission after mission. surviving by the skin of your teeth.
all the world has gone fucked now, it didn’t feel quite real some time—like some sort of veil has just been pulled over your head making you see things clearer for the horrors awaiting your fates.
and in your mind loud with noise and worry, you almost didn’t hear him.
“why don’t we do it?”
“what?” you turn to him, hoping his face show an inkling, a clue as to what he had said.
he looked at you then, eyes still so warm even with the atrocities he’s faced and eyes still so bright in the night. a twinkling light reflecting in his eyes making him look younger. prettier.
“why don’t we get married?”
you lean back slightly in shock, “what?” you repeated, because you didn’t understand. this came so suddenly, words weirdly familiar but the intent wildly different than from all the others you’ve heard before.
you looked at his eyes. searching, still, for a clue or something that might make sense because what?
he laughs, the warm, soft sounding one you can barely hear. but it was just the two of you outside and it was quiet and you were sitting so close, so you hear it—loud and clear. the sound making you feel warm. “is that so crazy?”
he looked like a boy, happy and hopeful. his leg was pressing into your thighs again. the pressure grounding you.
his hands fidgeting deep within his pockets.
“i think we work well enough.” he added, with a small smile.
you feel something in your heart stutter, “work well enough,” you repeated. “glad to know i reach your standards for a bride, sir lupin.” you almost scoff. masking the bitter simmer of disappointment of his reason. and the coiling nerves still tightly wound in your navel, feeling heavy, making it harder to breathe.
he shrugs, “well you know, a lot of applicants have been killing themselves to be chosen. i reckon you ought to feel honoured.” he grinned over to you, still joking.
you rolled your eyes, “of course,”
“yeah?” he perked up, suddenly sitting straighter, his knees bumping into yours in his haste to look at you properly. “you want to?” he seemed shocked, overtly so, that it makes you laugh. a heat blooming on your face at his apparent willingness to marry you before shaking your head to avoid any confusion.
“no to the proposal but yes, that it is indeed an honour.”
he deflates, “ah,” he said softly, before laughing like he was embarrassed. “i just—i kept thinking what james said, about tomorrow not being promised—and, i, well i thought—“ he clears his throat before continuing. “i thought i might see what the fuss was about,”
you nodded, “‘m afraid marriage isn’t so simple. you have to love one another for a start.” you added somewhat bitterly, looking away.
“so you keep reminding me,” he says, laughing awkwardly.
fifth time at 38 years old;
you feel as if your life was reaching a crescendo.
the night glooming, brooding like the sky knows to colour it of fear and nerves.
it was going to come down to tonight, so it seems. whether we win or we lose. the end or the beginning. all those families we’ve lost and the families we’ve created. all our hopes and dreams sacrificed into this one night.
“you feeling alright?” remus asked to your left.
the glooming sky somehow illuminating his face all the same.
“as alright as anyone can be when facing a dark wizard.” you smirked, shrugging.
he laughs, still sounding so warm and soft.
you feel his fingers brush yours. you had half a mind to remind him to get ready and hold his wand tight.
you notice how keeps forgetting to do that. opting to hold unto you, just like he did before when he was a child from another time.
he only offers a closed lipped smile, looking at you the same way he has always looked at you. his stare the most familiar thing, it might as well be a part of you.
“i love you.” he breathed. and your heart hammered, your world tilting on its axis. shifting the very fabric of your universe.
and he looked relieved like he couldn’t wait to hold unto it any longer. and then he repeated it. more sure. louder. affectionate. looking straight into you. his brilliant, soft, warm eyes so full.
you wonder when did his gaze start to look at you like that?
and then you see;
his eyes looking as it did when he was five, shining with obvious awe.
his eyes when he was eleven, with resolute determination.
eyes when he was seventeen, glinting with mirth in the dark crevices of the dorms.
the look he gave you when he was nineteen, looking so boyishly happy and hopeful.
and now as he’s thirty-eight, looking at you with so much love, and longing, and pain, and joy.
“when this is all over,” he breathe, “will you marry me?”
so much time has passed by now that you had once thought it was too late for you. too late with him. something you always thought but could never have.
he was now undeniably a man. arms littered with scars and unwavering confidence as he looks at you. but his eyes still glimmer and twinkle all the same.
the undeniable rampage in your chest, your eyes searching for an answer or a clue for what he’s thinking.
“i love you,” he repeats, and gazing at you with that familiar eyes of his.
and you laugh because you found your answer. so you’ll give him his.
“yes.”
extra;
the battle was brutal, bodies piled on top of one another. those too young to know what they even fought for. those for their own ideals. and those caught in cross fires.
but it was over. and the good guys won.
but with so many lost, people thought, how could i possibly cheer?
but there was this type of solace when you’re gone. there was no more pain. all those gone can only do one thing, to let go. at least that’s what harry thinks.
staring down at the family he could’ve had.
your limp cold hand holding remus’ equally cold ones.
he wonders if someone intertwined your hands, or if you simply died holding on to each other. never to let go.
he realized it didn’t really matter. you were both gone. forever, but together.
he thinks of the comforting hugs you’ve given him in the short time you’ve spent with him, and the many stories remus told. and in this fierce pain he wonders if you ever saw the shiny, glinting ring in remus’ dresser hidden away ever since he was eighteen.
you give remus a gift he thought he’ll never have.
warnings: none
tags: remus is a sweet boy basically wbk, 1.2 wc, part two of my christmas event!
“socks.” james identified, a judging tone as he looks at the gift in remus’ hands.
you nodded, going to sit near remus, pulling your pyjamas and revealing the same ones on your feet.
“i got matching ones,” you beamed at the group, faces varying level of laughter and judgement.
sirius sputter out a laugh, “you’re a bad gift giver.”
you gasped, offended. “i am not!” the laughter bubbling up to your mouth getting dangerously close.
“you gave your own boyfriend socks.”
“matching socks, with me.”
“a jacket would’ve been better,”
marlene having pity on you, “i think it’s cute.”
peter looks at her inquisitively, before smirking “would you like it if i gave you socks?”
“hell no.” her response was immediate, eliciting laughter in the group. you pouted.
you were about to argue some more, when a hand lands on top of your thigh, looking beside you to see your boyfriend look at you with revered fondness. giving you a soft smile as the socks were clutched softly in his hands,
“i love it,” he said above the noise. “thank you, my love.” reaching over to give you a soft kiss.
you relax and give a dopey smile, leaning into his side and hugging him. “i’m glad you like it remy.”
“whipped,” you hear sirius mutter under his breath.
although you don’t view socks as a bad gift, it wasn’t your entire gift per se. you figured, giving his real gift would be better received privately rather than with everyone around. so you just thought of the most basic gift to give before your actual gift. but remus, bless his soul, is incredibly sweet. you could give him a bag of fish and he would still smile as if you’ve given him something he had always wanted.
the thought made you feel all warm and gooey inside.
the others exchanged gifts and soon enough the small gathering in the common room ended without a hitch.
everyone already went up to sleep, eager to go home for the holidays. with the exception for you and remus, still huddled in front of the fire. his arms wrapped around your shoulders and yours around his middle.
with the stillness in the room and his heart beating against your cheek, you decided this was the perfect time.
“remy,”
he hums, kissing your head, to let you know he’s listening.
you slowly let him go, sitting up as you did so. he looked at you expectantly, lips quirked into a tiny smile. “i actually have another gift for you.”
he raised his eyebrows in intrigue. “oh you didn’t have to do that.”
you shook your head, excitement rippling out of you, “i wanted to,” looking at him abashed, scratching your cheek. “this is actually my real gift. but i wanted to give it to you when it was just us two.”
this is the first christmas you two will celebrate as a couple. although you won’t really be together for the actual holiday. as you were adamant that it was too soon to be celebrating holidays with each other, that dampened his holiday spirit for a bit. but you hoped your gift will make up for it.
he prompted himself up on his elbows. his smile now getting wider, as you conjured up a bag. your arm reaching shoulder deep as you rummage to your deceivingly small bag.
feeling for the small wrapped box, lips in between your teeth in concentration.
remus pulled at your chin to release your lip from your bite and running his thumb over teared skin, as if soothing it. you looked at him all shy, and giving him a quick peck unable to resist his squishy cheeks while your arm was still looking for the box.
when you finally felt it, you immediately pulled it out and presented it to your awaiting boyfriend in a triumphant smile.
“ta-da!”
his eyes looking at the box, loosely wrapped in festive wrappers and the excessive tape— you can see his smile grow even wider.
“the wrapping looks bad, i know. but it was my first time!”
he shook his head, a smile still etched on his face. “it’s perfect, my love.” softy grabbing your gift and touching the edges of the wrapper. “should i..?”
“open it!” softly squealing in excitement.
he nodded as he tore the wrapper, soon revealing a black suede box. softly shaking it near is ear and hearing nothing but feeling the weight.
looking at you curiously for some type of clue as to what it is. but you just watched his face in anticipation. your hard-work, soon validated.
“what is..—?” pulling the lid off and revealed a thick big bottle filled with clear blue liquid.
quickly sending you a disbelieving look before checking the bottle again, “is this?” this time pulling it out of the box, turning it to read the label, “wolfsbane,”
his head quickly whipping to look at you, his mouth agape and eyes in disbelief.
“you—“
“i started making it over the summer” you clarified, a big smile on your face. “and i just perfected the potion this month. it was supposed to be a birthday present for next year but i couldn’t just let you go through more months of suffering. so, i just decided to give this to you during christmas. and when i picked for the exchange gift, i thought it was the perfect time to give—“
you got cut off by his kiss. a hand, not holding the bottle, grasping your face. his lips firmly pressed against yours. closing your eyes and softly kissing him back before pulling away.
“i take it that you like it?”
he looked at you, his eyes reflecting the glow of the fire.
“this is too much, hun. i was perfectly fine with the socks— but wolfsbane. i—“
“you’re welcome,” you grinned.
he breathed, giving you another chaste kiss. “thank you, my love.”
twisting the bottle in his hand, looking in absolutely awe.
“i didn’t think i would ever have this.” he whispered.
you scooted over, a coy smile playing on your lips. “well this much is only enough for two months,”
he turned to you a tearful smile on his face, “you’re amazing.” kissing you again and pinching your cheek, “you know even seasoned wizards have a hard time making this, barely any shops have this.” looking down at the bottle again as if it was a saving grace.
“which is why,” you hummed, “i made you wolfsbanes potion for the entire year. i have the rest in my room.”
he quickly placed the bottle snug in the box and tackled you into a hug. “how—? when—? y/n!” he exclaimed. “did you really?”
you laugh, “yes! it’s in my trunk.” returning his fierce hug with your own.
“but making it must’ve been so expensive! and a year’s worth! that might have cost you a fortune.” he frowned, suddenly realizing the trouble you must have gone through to make it for him. but before his mood turn anymore sour, you pinched his sides and kissed his cheek.
“don’t worry, it barely scratched my funds,” you bragged, “just say you loved it and kiss me please.”
he breathed, looking at you with his warm brown eyes, “i love it,” he whispered kissing you deeply.
hi J!!! so i don’t really have a specific request but i so badly need remus x reader content. just like maybe something where reader starts as just friends with the whole group then the relationship with remus becomes something different? and like post hogwarts maybe? if this is too vague i totally understand !
Hi! ❤︎ Took me a little bit to get this out but! tada! I present: Remus content! And he is unknowingly smitten. Hence, friends-to-lovers. ❤︎ Ah, I do love writing first kiss w/ confessions. It's my cup of tea :)
Hope you enjoy! ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎
(Also, bonus points to whoever can recognize the tv show. Idk why these episodes are on my mind? I haven't seen them in over a year, at least)
Movie critic
Remus Lupin x fem!reader
3.7k words
cw: fluff, drinking, friends-to-lovers, background Jily, mention of sexual activities (not described), y/n
“Do not let Sirius pick the movie tonight,” you said, laying on Lily and Mary’s couch.
“Why not?” Mary asked from her room. The door was open so you could see her sitting at her desk.
“He’ll just pick some shitty ass critically acclaimed boring movie that’s three and a half hours long. I do not have it in me to suffer through that today.”
Lily laughed from the kitchen, where she was preparing dinner.
“You’re not doing anything right now. You pick one. Might save us an hour later,” she said.
You rolled onto your side to reach for the remote. You figured you could pick a few so if the boys protested your choice, you had a back up ready to go. After a bit of scrolling through titles, you glanced at the clock.
“What time did they say they’d get here?” you asked.
“Whenever Remus was ready,” Mary answered. “He’s last to get home from work.”
“I’m giving them five minutes. If they aren’t here, I’m eating without them,” you said.
Your stomach was grumbling and the boys’ tardiness wasn’t going to prevent you from consuming the taco bar Lily had prepared for everyone. Luckily, the boys showed up four minutes later. Mary had come out of her room and soon enough, the seven of you were filling plates and sitting down.
“Okay, so I know what movie we’re watching tonight,” Sirius said. “Muggles did real good with this one.”
You rolled your eyes. “How long is it?” you asked, knowing you had at least Lily and Mary’s votes for the movie you picked out.
“150 minutes,” he said.
“That’s a nope.” You turned to Lily. “I told you he’d pick some long-ass movie.”
“How long’s yours?” Mary asked.
“100 minutes. Recommended by my friend, Jessie, from work. She’s never let me down before.”
“I don’t even need to hear the titles. I’m with Y/N,” Remus said, with Peter murmuring in agreement.
“Great!” you said, smiling. “We’re watching mine.”
“What? Lily, Mary, James, back me up here!” Sirius gasped.
Lily chupsed. “Mare and I are with Y/N too. Two and a half hours on one movie is a lot.”
Sirius groaned and shook his head in disapproval.
Before he could go into a tirade about how none of you had taste, you said, “Sirius, what are you doing tomorrow night? Can’t you just watch your movie then?”
“I suppose, but then who am I supposed to discuss it with?”
“Not my problem. Find some stranger to bother.”
When you were done eating, you got up to put your plate in the sink and Remus followed you into the kitchen.
“Thanks for suggesting our flat for his movie,” Remus said dryly.
“You don’t have to watch it.”
Remus gave you a look that said Sirius was going to make anyone who was home watch the movie with him.
“Don’t be home then!”
“Right,” he said. “Where would I go?”
“My flat’s always open to you,” you said with a shrug. “Although you might be subject to bad tv. You can pick your poison.”
Remus laughed. “Trust me, your bad tv will always be better than Sirius’ movies.”
“Oi! Stop hating on my movies!” Sirius yelled from the table.
“Stop liking bad movies!” Remus snapped back, earning laughs from the rest of the room.
“Okay, let’s get this movie started,” Lily said, grabbing the remote to queue up the movie you had picked.
Everyone moved in front of the tv, taking their usual spots. Yours was in the middle of the couch in between Peter and Remus. You and Remus usually ended up sharing a blanket. It usually got cold in the flat due to the open window that anyone who wanted to smoke got banished to. Remus would wait until the end of the film before lighting up. Everyone would hang around for a little while. There was the usual commentary about the just-watched film and brief discussions on when everyone would be meeting up again. As you walked with three of the boys toward the door, Mary made a joke about hoping James’ silencing charm actually worked this time. You gave her a sympathetic look.
“It may be time to invest in good earphones,” you said. “Or to move out. I’m sure James would love to move into your room.”
“Too bad the flat’s in both our names… Earphones though… I’ll look into those,” she said before everyone exchanged more final goodbyes.
You exited Lily and Mary’s building with the boys minus James and turned in the direction of your building.
“Walking again?” Remus asked, turning to walk with you. The boys’ flat was about the same distance but in a different direction. Peter and Sirius headed home.
“Always. It’s not that far. You know that.”
He nodded, slowing his long strides so he didn’t out-pace you. As always, his hands were in his pockets and his shoulders slouched. You thought he slouched to make himself appear less tall, maybe friendlier; he really just couldn’t be bothered to stand tall.
“If I know that, then you know I’m not letting you walk alone.”
“I don’t need protection. I have my wand.”
“Ne’er said you needed protection.” He smiled at you. “Thought you said your flat was always open to me.”
“So you’re actually going to come up tonight? Maybe have a cuppa or something?”
“I might.”
This wasn’t the first time Remus walked with you to your building and left you at the door before walking home. He rarely came up at night. He did want to make sure that you were getting home safely. Yes, you had your wand and you were a capable witch, but he worried about the things that go bump in the night. Maybe someone would get the jump on you. Maybe a muggle would approach you with a gun. Whatever scenario he could make up in his mind, it was usually better to have a second person with you. And if that second person was a gruff looking, scarred, lanky man, so be it.
The rest of the walk back to your building was quiet. It was comfortable. That was the thing with Remus – you didn’t need to fill the air between you with endless, pointless chatter. You could simply exist and it was enough.
Remus reached for the door handle when you arrived at your building. He waited for you to put in the passcode before pulling on it to open the door for you. He did this every time he walked you back. You waited for the usual “Goodnight” that came after you walked through the door, except it didn’t come. Remus followed you in and let the door close behind him. You flashed him a smile before leading him up to your flat.
“So, tea?” you asked once you were inside and turning on lights.
“Yes, please.”
The two of you went into your kitchen. You put on the kettle and grabbed two mugs and the sugar container. Remus leaned against the counter and watched you move around the small space. It wasn’t the first time he’d been in your flat, but you didn’t host all that often. Being it was just you, you hadn’t gotten the largest flat so it felt crowded when the whole group came over.
“Sorry, I think I’m out of biscuits,” you said, rummaging through a few cabinets.
“Ugh, how could you!” Remus teased with an easy smile.
“Merlin forbid I know you like biscuits,” you said.
You couldn’t help your own smile. There was a feeling of playfulness in the air between you as the water boiled. You liked spending time alone with Remus. You couldn’t give a reason as to why, but you did. He had a different energy to him that really bode well with you.
“Did you hear about any of the reviews for Sirius’ movie?” you asked, pouring your cups.
“No, but I’m guessing you did.”
You nodded and went on to tell Remus what you had read in the paper. Critics you liked said the framing was decent but the storyline was severely lacking. Critics who were more aligned with Sirius thought the story was compelling and the acting impeccable.
“They spend too much time in post,” you said. “I don’t care how many big name actors you get. If it’s boring, it’s boring.”
“But it’s about the message,” Remus said with a rough impression of Sirius. He chuckled at himself. “For someone who works in a record shop, you’d think Sirius would care more for the movie’s scores.”
“Okay, his movies are either a hit or a miss with their scores. If they use the melodies right and have the themes elevate moments throughout, it can be good. But I swear, some of them have scores just so it’s not painfully silent. And trust me, it’d be painful.”
You kept talking about movies for a while until the conversation naturally segwayed to a different topic, and then to another. You drank your tea slowly until they got cold, and even then, you suffered through drinking cold tea. You knew that once your cups were empty, Remus would go home and the night would be over, and something in you wanted to prolong the night as much as possible.
Remus frowned when he set his mug down on the counter. “Oh, I’m out…”
“I’ve been out for at least ten minutes,” you said, still holding your mug to your chest like it might warm you up.
Then your body betrayed you – you yawned.
“Merlin, it’s two a.m.,” Remus said with a glance to the clock. “I didn’t realize it got so late.”
“It’s so cliche but they do say time flies when you’re having fun.”
“That must be why Sirius’ movies take eons to watch.”
You yawned again.
“I’ll let you get to bed. I’ll see you tomorrow?” Remus said.
“Tomorrow?” you asked sleepily.
“I guess today, technically. You know, when Sirius watches his movie?”
You nodded slowly. “Yes, right. I’ll see you then.”
Remus pulled you in for a quick hug and with a pop he apparated home. He was tired himself and didn’t feel like walking that late into the night. He’d never had issues with the walk from yours to his but with how heavy his own eyelids were getting, he didn’t want to risk it.
The living room in his flat is dark when he appears in the middle of it. He bumped into the sofa as he tried to make his way to the door to kick off his shoes. Then there was the squeak of a door opening. Remus stopped for a moment when light suddenly spilled from Sirius’ room.
“Are you ju-” Sirius yawned mid-word. “-just get back?”
“Yeah.”
“Didn’ run into trouble, did you?”
“No.” It was too late for a conversation with his friend. Remus wanted Sirius to go back to sleep so he could go to sleep.
Remus shook his head as he sat down on the bench near the door to take off his shoes.
“Moony…”
“I went up to Y/N’s flat, but nothing happened. Nothing like that. We talked. Drank tea. And it got late so I came home.”
“Why?”
“Why did I come home?”
“Yeah. She’s got a couch… guest bed… her bed…”
“Sod off, Pads. I have my own bed.”
Sirius hummed and went back into his room. “Night, Remus.”
Remus grumbled in response. He could never ask to stay over, not when he could so easily apparate home. If you had offered… That would’ve been a different story. It’s embarrassing, really, how quickly he would drop everything for you. He didn’t think much about it when you were at Hogwarts together, but you weren’t as close then. You were just a pretty girl he happened to be friends with. Every all-nighter you pulled studying was brushed off as something students did. You were called the grandparents of the group: him with his extensive jumper collection and you with your need to be under a blanket at all times. But you had things with the others as well. Movie critiquing with Sirius, board games with Peter, always volunteering to get snacks from the kitchens with James. You and Marlene had the same taste in music and would force the common room to listen to your records. You read the same books as Mary and drank the same tea as Lily.
Now that everyone was a bit more grown and living separately, Remus found himself missing when he used to see you every day. The group still got together fairly often. But it wasn’t enough for Remus. Somewhere deep inside of him, he knew that he would rather see you every day than the boys he lived with. He’d never tell them that though.
After work, Remus made two quick stops before heading to yours. He didn’t even bother to see if Sirius was actually going to watch his movie before leaving the flat. He walked to your flat with a plastic bag in hand, pep in his step and a cigarette in hand. He hit the buzzer for your building.
You didn’t ask who it was, buzzing in whoever was at the door. It probably wasn’t a good habit to get into, but there were so many times that people hit the wrong button or were delivering food or mail. Your door was deadbolted with a chain lock and additional lock in the knob, so if someone really wanted to break into your specific flat, they’d have more work to do.
Remus knocked. He waited for the telltale signs of you at your door, the sliding of the deadbolt and chain. Of course, you only did this after looking through the peephole to confirm it was who you were semi-expecting.
“Hey, Remus,” you said, smiling.
“You have a good day?” he asked as he stepped into your flat and you closed the door behind him, promptly relocking it.
You hummed. “Not too bad. Had to redo my coworker’s paperwork because he fucked it up, but other than that… about the usual. You?”
“Just a lot of reshelving. Nothing out of the ordinary.” He stepped into your kitchen and put the bag on the counter. “Mind if I put the kettle on?”
“Go ahead. I’m ‘bout to get started on dinner.”
You gathered the ingredients and pans you needed. It wasn’t until you reached for the mugs to hand to Remus that you noticed what was inside the bag.
“Did you really bring over biscuits?”
“You were out last night, and I didn’t think you’d make it to the store. Don’t worry, I got the ones you like too.”
You laughed, removing the two packs from the bag. Of course Remus knew which ones you preferred. You supposed it wouldn’t be bad to have a pack of them on hand, especially if it meant Remus would come over more often. It didn’t occur to you that he could take the biscuits home with him. He wasn’t planning on it, but he could.
Remus offered to help make dinner but you had it covered, so he watched and talked with you. You got into more detail about your day and what you’ve been up to lately. You told him about how your parents were doing and asked about his. He hadn’t been to visit them lately, but his mother wrote him every other week.
When dinner was ready, you made up two plates and brought them into the living room. You sat on the sofa and turned on the tv.
“What’re we watching anyways? You didn’t-” Remus stopped mid-sentence as the theme song came on. He groaned. “I know you said it was a bad show… but this?”
You laughed. “I made you dinner. Sit your arse down and enjoy it.”
You didn’t say much as you watched the show, both of you eating. Remus occasionally looked over at you with a Are you seriously enjoying this? look on his face. When you finished eating, he reached for your plate and took both of them into the kitchen so that you didn’t have to get up.
“Want anything to drink?” he asked.
“Oh! Can you grab the wine from the fridge?” you responded, leaning back into the couch in an attempt to see into the kitchen. “Glasses are to the left of the fridge if you want them, or we can just drink from the bottle. I don’t mind either way.”
“Got it.”
He popped the cork out and didn’t grab glasses. He handed you the bottle. You took a swig immediately as he sat down and got resituated under his blanket. You offered the bottle to him and he took it. Another episode of the show played.
When Remus handed you the bottle back, he asked, “Should I have stayed over last night?”
“Hm?”
The main character’s car got stolen and the thief answered when the car’s phone rang.
“It was late when I left… I don’t know. Sirius seems to think I should’ve spent the night.”
“I suppose you could’ve. Um, but I don’t think I have any extra toothbrushes… or anything that’d fit you for pajamas.”
“I could’ve made do in what I was wearing,” Remus said, taking the wine when you offered it back to him. “Guess I wanted your opinion on it in case something like that happens again.”
The main character and his friends were trying to figure out how the car got stolen. There’s something about street parking.
You laughed softly. “I did say my flat’s open to you. I think that can include nights.” You paused. “Don’t tell Sirius but I’d much rather have you spend the night than him.”
“Oh?”
“I experienced enough mornings near him at Hogwarts.”
Remus smiled. “Pretty sure you’ve had the same amount of morning with him as with me.”
“Yeah. And?”
“If you say something like that around the boys, they’d be saying you’re playing favorites.”
“I am.” You shrugged before snatching the bottle back, as a couple on the tv was breaking up. “Though, I don’t know how much of a secret it is?”
“What d’you mean?”
“Remus, be so for real right now. We sit next to each other every movie night. You walk me home. You brought me biscuits because I was out. I guess this might just be me, but I feel more relaxed when you’re around. Like I can be myself.” You took a drink from the bottle. “You’ve even seen me ugly cry. Only you and Mary have seen that.”
“Oh.”
You waited for Remus to say something more than that.
“Have I seen you ugly cry?”
You barked a laugh and looked at Remus affectionately.
“I’m trying to remember a time when you’ve looked ugly and the best I got was in like… fourth year, I think. Avery’s jinx crossed with Mulciber’s or something and both hit you. You were in the hospital wing for a week or so? I remember Madam Pomfrey saying it was your call to deny all visitors, but I might’ve caught a glimpse through the curtains…”
Your expression fell into horror and you whacked his arm. “YOU SAW THAT?”
The theme song was playing again.
“No one was supposed to see me like that!”
Remus nodded. “I understood why. That’s why I never brought it up. To anyone. Felt like it wasn’t you in that bed.” Something made Remus reach out for your hand, which was resting on your thigh. “‘M sorry for that.”
You let him hold your hand. You bit the inside of your cheek with the only sound in the room coming from the tv. One of the main characters was buying a jumper. Then you turned to look at Remus.
“That’s the only time you’ve thought I was ugly?” you whispered.
The tips of Remus’ ears turned red. He rubbed his thumb over the back of your hand.
“You didn’t look like you…”
You leaned forward to set the wine bottle on the coffee table. The character on the tv was yelling about a red dot on the jumper, trying to get a bigger discount. Remus raised an eyebrow.
“A-am I your favorite too?” you asked, voice a little shaky with nerves from the ideas now running through your head.
He ran a hand through his hair. The entirety of his ears were red, although it was barely visible in the tv’s glow
“I wouldn’t watch this-” He gestured toward the tv, where some characters were having sex in an office. He grimaced. “-for just anyone.”
He was trying to keep the mood light despite the wine’s effort to make everything feel heavy and intense. The air felt thick and life moved in slow motion.
You took a second to gather your wits, which felt like much longer than a second to both of you. Then you took a deep breath. You reached up to cup the side of Remus’ face, gently tracing the scar on his cheek, as you leaned in. Remus’ lips melded into yours, moving in sync like a rehearsed dance. When you pulled back, it was only a hair. Your breath mingled with his as neither of you moved.
Then you returned to how you were sitting before you kissed him. If your brain was spinning before you kissed him, you had no idea how to describe what it was doing now. There was a tornado in your brain. Had you really just kissed your closest friend?
Yes, you had.
In Remus’ brain, he was thinking Did she actually kiss me? Was I able to kiss her back?
Yes, you had. And yes, he was.
“So, um, would you like to get dinner sometime?” Remus asked after a few seconds.
“Yeah, yeah,” you breathed. “That’d be nice.”
You scooted closer to Remus so you could rest your head on his shoulder, and then he rested his head on yours.
“I think I get why Sirius said you should’ve stayed the night,” you mumbled. You felt the rumble of a laugh from Remus. “So if you don’t want to leave tonight, you don’t have to.”
Remus, with a giddy feeling in his chest, lifted his head so he could kiss the top of your head. “That might depend on how much of this slop you make me watch.”
What you do in private, shows in public. Reading shows in a conversation. Your diet shows in energy. Your discipline shows in confidence. Your focus shows in your results. You are what you cultivate when no one is watching. Prioritize your time & focus on discipline/consistency.
In another universe, the submissions on this blog are softer. No one has to write, “In another universe I wasn’t hurt,” or “I wasn’t abused,” or “I made it out.”
Instead, people say things like, “In another universe I’m not scared of the ocean,” or “I can eat peanuts without my throat closing.”
And that’s it.
Because in that universe, none of the beautiful people here had to survive so much just to exist.
They never had to carry all this weight just to be seen.
things that felt natural in 536 b.c but … not so much in my cr
communal nudity. just fully sanctioned titty. old woman boiling lentils, one boob out. no one cares. you adjust. you adapt. you mentally redact.
the complete absence of doors. everything is curtains or slabs. slabs that make a noise.
no chairs. like sorry?? there are benches. there are steps. there are floor cushions filled with barley husks. but there are no goddamn chairs.
animal fat as currency. don’t even start. i paid for earrings with tallow. earrings. to be fair they were stunning.
cats being divine until they piss on the bread. then they are demons. but still divine. a papal bull with paws.
spitting on the ground to seal a deal. no comment.
the way fire is just. always somewhere.
mosquito bites with religious significance. i kid you not.
absolutely no concept of alone time. you are never alone. there’s always someone praying, cleaning, dressing you up, weaving, giving birth.
open-air everything. i mean everything. bathing? sky. cooking? sky. arguments about grain proportions? sky. i have seen more constellations than most astronomers.
funerals with so much meat. full-on sacrificial barbecue.
priests and prostitutes are the same people. like oh you bless crops and blow kisses to strangers in the temple doorway. yes ma’am.
everyone owning a clay tablet with their birth chart. like that’s your id honey.
sleep was also a communal sport. people WILL LIE AROUND in courtyards. being horizontal by default. you walk into a room and everyone’s already napping.
ya’ll don’t understand the pain when you try to search for x reader fics with a certain character only to find incorrect quotes or those short imagines with other characters
turnnoffyourmind
baratheonpilled
areudirty
romaincrisis
snowghoul
