So I had the greatest history teacher freshman year of high school
He used to say the craziest things, and he was a total meme. He knew about the Walmart Yodel Boi before any of the 14 year olds in his class. Anyway, here are some of the quotes my class collected in a Google Doc:
On the first day of class, the first thing he ever said to us: This morning I was waiting for the bus and this lady sat down next to me and said, “You know what’s worse than my mom dying this morning? Having to drive a u-haul”.
“There is nothing I like better than going on a date, popping open a nice bottle of wine, bringing her flowers, and saying ‘Honey, here’s how to a cite a quote.’”
About bad thesis examples: “It’s like I’m asking you what your opinion is and you’re answering Yasss!”
“I know research methods are the most fricking exciting thing in the world.
“Research! Research! Research!” while doing push ups on the classroom floor.
It’s like you said Clybor’s class is going well, lets take a Bazooka and blow it all up.
You guys are so boring today I’ll have to do something to make you excited. Maybe I’ll make a sexist remark and then just run out the door. (Walks to door). Why can’t women just cook dinner. (Runs away beig chased after by Joise, Paris, and Eliza.)
When people say that bible says Gays can’t marry I point out it also says you can’t eat shrimp but you still go to RED LOBSTER!!
(Josie says something) GASP! (Josie says something) GASP! (Josie says something) GASP! (Josie: Do you mind) I have Asthma god.
God will flood your village and torture you and torture your family but he also loves you.
Never underestimate the lengths that people will go to to prove something they believe in.
Yo that shit is dope sayeth the Lord.
You can go beat each other to death as long as it’s outside my classroom
So in Czech there’s a formal and informal tense and one time I went on a date and I got into a discussion with her on whether or not you would speak in a formal or informal tense to a prostitute older than you and she was like “This date is over.”
These stories make it seem like shepherds were coming across babies every 15 minutes.
I’m not sure if I’m qualified to talk about politics with reluctant toasters.
Once these two kids got busted for going around stealing Baby Jesuses at Christmas time and the cops told them to stop and open the trunk and there were 50 baby jesuses and they had to go to court and they were both Jewish.
“So I’ve done my research, and according to the Earl of Sandwich, a hotdog is not a sandwich.”