mortallypurpleshark

i am half agony, half hope ~jane austen

[mortallypurpleshark]

in eden

You wore a halo; angelic. I saw you as God did: in awe of a creation incapable of flaw. You were placed above and beyond, perhaps that was the sign. I saw you in a light no one else could reach, yet you failed to see the same in me

[mortallypurpleshark]

"winter dreams"

in some other life I'd be a prodigy

pianoforte, or cello, or opera

the crowd booming

my face on walls

in rooms I've never been

[mortallypurpleshark]

the cool girl

The innocent girl, timid and afraid.

The girl whose pale and pasty skin,

has not seen the light of day in weeks.

She feeds only on what she's been given;

she never asks for more.

She is satisfied

or perhaps her hollowed heart simply knows,

that it will never get more.

For how could one be satisfied with so little?

She has a void to fill, and not enough to get by.

[mortallypurpleshark]

clip the wings of hope

She’s right around the corner, I say to myself—foolishly—and foolish enough, I believe what I tell myself. She’s right around the corner, right around the corner is the grave.

[mortallypurpleshark]

storm alerts

It is cold now, but we will come through to the other side in spring.

[mortallypurpleshark]

on the baseball field

under the bleachers

an obstructed view;

sky, the field and you

the worn laces and the shoes,

the muddy footprints,

traces of you,

your sweet, innocent oblivion

how i followed around, latched

a ghost, invisible;

you walk right through me

[mortallypurpleshark]

they all come in pairs

look you say, 

at the stars, 

constellations a map, 

Greek goddesses, and myths

Persephone and Hades

Summer and winter

The earth in rotation 

Around the sun

The moon around the earth

Courses running in a parallel

Never to truly meet each other

“What a waste!”

[mortallypurpleshark]

maternal instincts

Life was supposed to be a mother, carry you, cradle you. Instead it threw me into the marshes and left me there to drag myself out.

[mortallypurpleshark]

and when you're old

Memory fails us when we need it the most, in old senile age, when company is scarce when you have nothing but the soot in your clogged chimney and a week old tea in your pot to keep you company, memory fails you, memory will always fail you.

[mortallypurpleshark]

sympathy for him

Why?

His fall should’ve been well deserved.

But I knew, deep down,

there would be no redeeming—

no taking back what was lost:

the naivety and innocence of my girlhood,

I wish someone handed us a manual—

how to spot them, how to run—

but you’re a deer.

You will be preyed either way

[mortallypurpleshark]

mt everest

years of gripping this mountain,

ascending with my calloused hands.

going up is hard,

but getting down even more

unless i let go,

let the floor hit my back,

my intricately pieced body,

the bones that join and fuse,

scatter in my cavity.

will it hurt more than holding on,

i wonder.

[mortallypurpleshark]

THE BOYS

the boys play in the dirt from the sidelines,

sand flying as they twist and turn to throw the ball,

you watch.

the boys with sweat on their foreheads,

sweat on their backs,

clothes flying, skin exposed—

you watch.

the boys teasing with inappropriate jokes

about girls and drinking,

you watch.

the boys, the boys—

sneaking glances enough to tempt you—

the boys, playing till after dark,

you watch.

the boys, the boys—

parasocial, paranormal entities—

you want to get close,

you want to be them,

the bitterness, the rage,

the boys, the boys—

you watch.

[mortallypurpleshark]

to the women somewhere in the world - im sorry

Half your life is spent on trying to fix your scarf, wrapping it around your head like a noose. Hiding beneath the head wrap, hiding that beautiful brain of yours, underneath that cage, let it loose, let it loose, throw it away, free yourself even if it means gallows. Don't slave away, dont slave away for men.

[mortallypurpleshark]

you look at her with your wrinkles, she reminds you so much of what you lost, all the youth, all the beauty that was once yours is now hers, she is a mirror but a mirror of what you used to be, a constant reminder of what you've lost, her beauty that can never be yours.

[mortallypurpleshark]

eyes bloodshot and darkened from many sleepless nights

hoping all this work will amount to something

all this torture and restlessness

will eventually lead to some peace

[yars]

[supersexyawesomeness]

[mortallypurpleshark]

Patient Census, 4:38 p.m

In the ED on weekends, waiting for someone w/ a head injury, scrolling through pt charts: wound check, mvc, syncope, seizures, suicidal, ingestion. So many ppl, so many bodies, rows and rows of ailments upon ailments, old bodies, young youthful bodies, broken bodies, wounded bodies, flight risk bodies, screaming bodies, never-ending row of bodies. Bodies upon bodies.