summary: forced into an arranged marriage, you thought your soon to be husband was sharing the same sentiment. little did you know, he has waited for the moment when he gets to take you.
The night was warm, the people around you mingled and drank to their heart's desire, you were caught up in the midst of it all as bride, sitting by the table, the feast in front of you, the lingering scent of meat and spices reaching your nose. You've never had the big appetite, but even the most picky of eaters could find something for themselves in the abundance of food that was prepared, you enjoyed the sweet aroma of a ripe fig, its sugary taste a heaven on your tongue.
With an idle mind you resorted to watching the guests, slowly becoming aware of the mirth in their eyes now that the night was nearing its end, the consummation of your marriage awaited. You knew that well yet you chose to place trust in your now husband, for sure he would find a way to stain the sheets crimson other than with your blood. You were lucky to be married to a man your age, because an older one wouldn't show such restraint, you thought and what violence should such an innocent looking creature even possess? Jungwon's presence showed nothing but gentleness, his eyes deep wells of kindness, sparkling with youthfulness and sympathy.
Only if you knew of the monstrous desire lurking beneath his saintlike demeanour. Even though you thought this union was a coincidence, it was actually perfectly orchestrated by him, he imagined it the moment he has seen you at church the first time he saw you, a divine vision meant for him only. From that day onward, he battled with impatience, with hunger for just a little taste, but the societal norms granted him no mercy. He was barely constraining himself during the whole ceremony, the brief meeting of your lips left him trembling with passion, it evident on the sweat collecting at his brow, but it was summer so none suspected it.
He was an image of propriety but inside of him a war raged on, he was unnerved by the length of the whole ordeal, the congratulations and the smiles all irking him further. He just couldn't wait for the darkness of the room to swallow you both.
─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ✮ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──
The silence of the room was being interrupted by the sound of crickets outside, the window was slightly ajar letting in the mild wind into the room which carried a scent of the stars. The only light cast a warm glow over the furniture, the mirror was dim and full of shadows, you were reluctant to look at your reflection, the image painted there was one of innocence waiting to be touched. Your hair was let down, the locks flowing freely, in your eyes you could make out sparks from the flame of the candles, but the longer you looked, the more a sense of foreboding enveloped you.
In the crevices of your heart doubt crept in, an unsettling feeling in your bones, what if? That damned question crawled its way to you and you felt nauseous all of a sudden and as if it was an omen, footsteps resounded in front of the door. They were determined and powerful, no doubt belonging to a man, an it wasn't any man, it was your husband.
That title although it should, under different circumstances, didn't bring you any comfort, you cast your eyes outside the window, glancing at the stars, only to find out that a dark cloud covered them.
Caught up in your thoughts you hadn't even noticed the door opening and closing, you just sensed a presence in the room, the sound of breathing and a creak in the floorboards, there in front of you Jungwon stood. Outside, wind picked up its speed, rustling the leaves, the curtains danced for a moment and the candle by the bed went out, startling you. Finally, you looked up to the figure shrouded in the black that was towering over you, you couldn't recognize it, as if the man from the dinner was replaced by a phantom.
With a trembling hand you reached out, searching for the matches, striking one, the light exploded for a second, illuminating the space around you, revealing two eyes that were now staring at you from a very close proximity. While you were fumbling in the dark, Jungwon crossed the separating distance between the two of you. You stared at him back, no words coming out, the match in between of you, slowly burning, carefully he took it from your fingers and lightened a candle, restoring the atmosphere in the room.
Uncomfortable with barely there gap between you, you tried moving further away, only to be stopped by the hand weaving itself around your wrist, the hold he had on you was strong like a vice, you dared to look up at his eyes again. The flame reflected in them, otherwise they were completely black, like looking down into a deep well, the one that they warned you about in your childhood, one that carried a danger with it.
With a small voice you uttered his name, trying to break the grip around your hand, but to no avail, there was no doubt a bruise forming, but your strength was no match for his.
He came even closer, inhaling deeply, letting his nose trail the column of your neck, your body reacted at the tingling contact, erupting in a powerful shiver that reached the tips of your toes.
"Don't you know.", his voice was quiet, but deep and rough, his hold on you was still unrelenting and seemed to increase in its intensity when he uttered the next words.
"You are mine now.", then as if to seal the meaning, he left a scorching kiss on your collarbone, the warmth and wetness of his mouth paired with the softness of his lips made a quiet flame start to lick at the base of your spine despite the fact that you were still struggling with his strength.
Finally, he freed your hand, redness blooming along your skin, a tell tale mark of his possession of you, then his hand moved to your shoulder, pushing you down onto the mattress. Your shock filled eyes stared up at him, while he gazed at you with the eyes of a vulture, thirst and hunger reflecting in them. Afraid, you cast your gaze away.
That seemed to anger him, for he pulled his hand up, cupping your face with barely contained roughness, preventing any movement, forcing your eyes on his again, he leaned down to your ear, whispering, "Be good for me, will you?".
His breath tickled you and some hidden part of you keened in delight, the depth of his voice was enticing and the weight of his body pressing on yours was making your hands twitch against your sides, as if on instinct you wanted to wrap your arms around his shoulders. Instead, you chose to grip onto the sheets, bunching them tightly in your grip.
Sensing your pliancy, Jungwon hummed in approval, his thumb coming to rub gently against your cheek, it trailed small circles on your flesh until it traveled to your lower lip, pulling it back and playing with it. His finger demanded entrance and you granted him that, opening your mouth in obedience.
His eyes focused on the way his thumb disappeared into your cavern of warmth, satisfied with the sight and the sensation he moved his index finger too, putting it in as well, pressing down onto your tongue. You were perplexed as to why it felt so good, him exploring your mouth like that, you were not taught about it at all, you were informed only of the basics, but little did you know the night was full of suprises ahead.
He pulled out his fingers, them glistening in the dark, and trailed them along the expanse of your chest, leaving a wet trail, you shuddered at the striking sensation against your skin. Your nightdress was basically useless, see through and slipping down your shoulders, he pulled it down even more, exposing you to the damp air and his hungry eyes.
Jungwon visibly swallowed, greeted by your bare chest, his touch was feather light, mapping out your skin, and then his mouth followed, nibbling all over your breasts, awakening a warm feeling in between your thighs which only intensified when he licked one of your perk nipples, your hands were still rumpling the sheets, even harder then before. Inside you weren't sure if you wanted this but the pleasure he coaxed out of you, the strength which he emitted while treating you, was slowly erasing the reluctance from your mind.
When his hands came to grip at your hips, bunching up the fabric and pressing down with possessive hold, you finally let go and moved your fingers, tangling them in the hair at the nape of his neck, it was slick with sweat, the summer air no doubt taking a toll on him, but in the back of your mind you knew it was something else too. He was breathing hard, barely containing himself from completely ruining you all at once, he was getting tired with all the teasing touches and caresses, impatience growing inside of him but he had to seduce you somehow into obedience. He wanted urgently but he was no beast.
That thought seemed to morph into an affirmative sentence the moment he pulled the hem of your nightdress further up, exposing your damp thighs and the place of which he dreamed of, abundant with warmth and wetness. He couldn't help the groan he let out in the night when his hand greeted the heat of you, dipping into your entrance, his resolve was gone by then.
With clumsy fingers he undid the front of his pants, freeing himself of the shackles that forbid him from having you completely. He was stiff with desire and need, burning up from inside out. With no room for pleasantries or sweetness, he pushed into you, filling you all at once, you let out a gasp, fingers digging into his neck, deep enough to draw blood. Nothing could prepare you for this, nor for what is to come.
He basked in your warmth for a moment, but he couldn't wait anymore, with you gripping him so tightly, he could tell you've only been his and no one else's before. He was pleased to no end, pulling out and then slamming back in without any gentleness. His pace was animalistic and consuming, he was pouring in all of the frustration he had to face ever since he saw you for the first time.
For poor you, it was too intense, small hiccups leaving your mouth in tandem with his thrusts, you didn't know anymore what you were feeling, was it discomfort or pure pleasure, it was all mixed together in the haze of your joining. Your insides began to clench, something was clawing its way up your whole body, a feeling so violent, a consequence of his rough ministrations. You tried to warn him somehow, tried to utter his name but it crashed over you in intense waves, a pleasure so blinding, at that moment you could feel all the love he wanted to fuck into you.
All his passion and obsession, all his restless nights spent thinking about you, he wanted you to taste it too, to be as consumed as he was. He was watching every twitch of your body, satisfied that it was all his doing, no force could stop him now, he was on the top of the world, he met eyes directly with God while taking in the sight of you.
Soon he followed after you, an abrupt stop in his pace while he spilled hotly into you, indulging in every spurt, in every tremor that seized his body, because it was all for you and by you.
Dom!NR } Ni-ki was at a concert, and to you he looked a little too good.. you felt jealous that he was around other women. When he came back you confronted him… 𝘮𝘺 𝘣𝘢𝘣𝘺 𝘫𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘶𝘴?.. And he fucked the jealousy out of you.
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─
pairing: ni-ki x reader ₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊ -angst/fluff
୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅
the moonlight is sharp, a cold silvery blade cutting through the gap in the blinds and landing across the empty side of the bed.
it’s the kind of night that feels like it’s made of glass and static.
you’re staring at the digital clock on the bedside table, the red numbers bleeding into the darkness as they tick past 3:00 am.
you hear the front door click shut, the sound echoing through the hollow hallway like a finality you aren't ready to face.
a few moments later, the bedroom door creaks open. you don't move, keeping your back turned and your breathing shallow, pretending to be lost in a sleep that hasn't come for hours. you listen to the familiar, tired rhythm of his movements.
the rustle of his bag being dropped, the heavy thud of his sneakers hitting the floor. the mattress shifts, a heavy sigh breaking the silence.
it’s not the warm, inviting weight you used to crave; now it just feels like distance.
you can feel riki sitting on the edge of the bed, his back to you. he doesn’t reach out. there is only the scent of the practice room, stale sweat and cold air clinging to him like a second skin.
the silence between you is heavy with the grit of the last three days. there was no blowout fight, just a series of sharp clipped sentences and him retreating further into the studio until he became a ghost in this apartment.
"riki," you whisper, your voice barely audible. "are you even here?"
he doesn't answer at first.
he just sits there, his head hanging low, his large hands resting limp on his knees. he looks smaller than usual, the bravado of the stage stripped away by the shadows. he isn't the type to pour his heart out or explain the exact moment the stress became too much to carry home.
finally, he moves.
he doesn't say he’s sorry. not with words. instead, he just falls back onto the bed, crawling toward you in the dark.
he doesn't look you in the eye. instead, he buries his face in the crook of your neck, his cold nose pressing against your warm skin.
he stays like that for a long time, just breathing you in, his hands fumbling to find yours under the duvet. when he finally finds your fingers he interlocks them with his, squeezing so tight his knuckles go white.
"it's just a lot," he mumbles, the words muffled against your skin.
it’s the most you’re going to get, the only admission that the pressure had made him shut down. "everything is just... a lot right now."
he doesn't have a grand apology, but he pulls your joined hands up to his lips, lingering there for a beat too long. it’s his way of saying i'm back, even if he doesn't know how to say i'm sorry.
he begins to make it up to you in the way he knows best: proximity.
he drags you closer until your back is flush against his chest, his long limbs hooking around you like he’s anchoring himself to the present.
he reaches out and clicks off the digital clock as if stopping the time will stop the world from demanding anything else from him.
"stay like this," he whispers, his voice dropping into that deep, sleepy register. he spends the rest of the night refusing to let go. every time you shift, his grip tightens instinctively.
he’s not talking about the schedule or the arguments. he’s just there, his heartbeat a steady, grounding thrum against your shoulder blade.
it isn't a perfect fix, but as he nudges his face into your hair and finally lets out a relaxed sigh the room stops feeling like a cage.
with the moon finally fading and the quiet weight of him holding you together, you realize that for riki, this is him opening every door he has.
he's trying. for you.
angst (?) ; reader can’t swim ; cussing ; distressed Ni-ki ; drama, more drama, and a little more drama ;
6,762: WC for this request🏷️
Maybe if you pushed everyone a little harder, you would have gone to a beach on mainland USA.
But you’d be lying if you said you hadn’t always wanted to visit Hawaii, and when would the beaches in California and Florida compare to those on an island?
Especially for you that can’t swim—a beach is pure visual candy—you have no other reason to go to a beach other than to admire the scenery.
Well, that and the pretty outfits.
Both in Korea and in Japan, modesty is the only real option; which is fine, of course, but there’s a certain excitement that comes with wearing something other than a full-coverage body suit.
“Just…keep an open mind.” You preface, peeking your head out of the bathroom through a cracked door. “Please…”
“You’re probably making it look worse than it is,” Ni-ki says, rolling his eyes playfully as he sits on the edge of the bed.
“What do you think? Is it too showy?” You ask, finally stepping out but staying a few feet away from him.
You hate that he can whistle; it’s a million times worse than if he’d just make the most out of the pocket comment he could come up with in that second.
“Don’t…do that…” you groan, making your way over in quick strides to smack his arm.
His smile grows as one hand comes up to press into the area you hit; the other comes up to your hip and pushes and pulls at you to get different angles of your outfit.
“I love America, did you know that?” He says, a familiar boyish excitement only he can manage.
You roll your eyes, getting back to your concerns about the bikini first.
“I won’t wear it the entire time,” you explain, “I have a pair of shorts and a loose shirt I’m going to wear.”
You reach behind him into your luggage to pull out the rest of the outfit you’re describing.
“What? No…” he whines, making a face at both once they’re laid out over your chest and held up over your hips.
“Listen.” You say, waving your hand in his face, “at some point I want to sunbathe, and I’m going to do it in the bikini.”
Some of his excitement returns, but the shorts and shirt are really hard to overlook.
“But just this is fine? It’s not too cheeky, right?” You add, holding the clothes away from your body as you turn around slightly to show him the back.
“Would you get mad if I said I wish it were?” He asks, reaching out and falling just short of your ass when you step back a bit.
“If you’re going to do this the whole day, I won’t wear it.”
You’re incapable of accepting the compliments; he knows that, so it doesn’t bug him that you keep going against him.
He also doesn’t want to take you out of it, so he’ll stay within these limits to not upset you.
“Okay, fine.” He says, a small shrug as he brings his hands up in surrender.
“Finish getting dressed so we can wait out there. I want to leave as soon as everyone is ready.” He says, kissing your cheek as soon as he’s on his feet.
₊‧⁺♱ ───
The drive to Lanikai isn’t as long as you thought it would be; the real challenge was finding a place to park.
The van circled the residential area behind the beach about four times before you guys ran into a family leaving.
You don’t remember who suggested Lanikai specifically, but it is gorgeous.
The sand is powdery and light in color; the water is this pretty turquoise; and the water itself is pretty calm.
The only downside is it doesn’t have much else to offer.
There are a few people walking the beach selling some goods on small handheld pallets; but if you want a drink, you’re limited to whatever fits in the two coolers you brought.
But everyone did their research, and the group came prepared with enough of everything to keep you at the beach for as long as possible.
Some people chose to go straight into the water; leaving their bags near where Ni-ki was setting up an area for you to sit since it’s where you’d be for the majority of the time.
“Sit in the chair while I put the umbrella up. I want to make sure I get it right the first time.” Ni-ki instructs, picking up the travel bag your umbrella comes in.
You’d been helping Jay untangle the strings on his own travel bag before this; when you sit on the edge of the beach chair, you keep the bag on your lap as you continue to press your nails into the thin grooves caused by the tie.
“Who tied this for you?” You ask, speaking loudly over the sound of Ni-ki hitting the pole of the umbrella with a tumbler.
“He did.” Jay said, standing nearby with his arms crossed as he glanced at Ni-ki.
You sigh, finding a place to tug out the strings and undo them.
It takes a little more finesse because it was a double knot, but you manage it, and eventually Jay gets to set up his own piece.
But by then, Ni-ki is already throwing his setup in Jay’s face.
“Didn’t you start at the same time I did?” Ni-ki chuckles, taking a beer out of the cooler and passing it to you.
Despite the brilliant idea to bring enough beer for the group, no one thought to bring a bottle opener.
But you can open them with just about anything so Ni-ki isn’t worried.
“So that’s why you did it? To cheat your way to first?” Jay scoffs, coming around his umbrella to sit in his chair.
You hand Ni-ki the bottle over his shoulder, and he hands it to Jay without offering once he realizes he might want one.
“Thanks,” Jay mumbles, watching Ni-ki pass you another before he leans back into you.
Jay watches for a bit; he can see from where he’s sitting how you push your ring under the cap and use your hand to open it.
“Won’t it break if you do that a lot?” He asks, taking a sip then.
“I’ve never had any issues.” You shrug, handing the other to Ni-ki before you wrap your arms around his neck from behind.
Just before Ni-ki takes a drink of his, he turns his head to kiss your arm; no other reason than that he’s enjoying himself.
₊‧⁺♱ ───
Jay and Ni-ki play beach ball for a while with you before Ni-ki talks about how perfect it would be to get in the water after working up a sweat.
Jay agrees and turns to you, finding out only then that you can’t swim and would rather sit with the things.
He leaves it there and practically runs to the water; but Ni-ki lingers, mostly because he feels bad.
“Are you sure?” He asks, watching you grab your handheld fan and sit under the umbrella again.
“You’re the one who said he wouldn’t make a big deal about me not getting in.” You remind, tucking your hair behind your ears to get it out of your face.
“I know,” he sighs, “but it’s really hot.”
You raise a brow at him; it can’t be more than 85 or 90 degrees, but that’s not a temperature you’ve ever gotten close to back home, so it makes sense he’d be affected.
“I’m fine, go.” You assure, waving him away.
Ni-ki frowns, reaching for the collar of his shirt and pulling it over his head; he uses this as an excuse to stay back longer, but you don’t change your mind, and he has to leave without you.
He might be a little bummed, but you’re nothing but happy.
His tattoos look so good in this light—nothing compared to seeing them rarely and in the dark when you’re home indoors.
You watch for a bit; just until he gets so far that he becomes a tiny dot among the others in the water.
Then you begin to debate.
If you took your overclothes off now, you’d get comfortable without anyone asking questions or making comments.
But it is a little hot, maybe you should wait until the sun isn’t so harsh?
Unfortunately for you, the UV index is exactly what it should be if you want to do this properly, so there’s no stalling.
It’s a little odd when you take your shirt off, but obviously no one actually cares since no one’s looking that closely.
It’s weirder when you take your shorts off, but again, no one cares.
You put on your cream; lay out the blanket you brought; and grab Ni-ki’s sunglasses to wear them while he isn’t using them.
Because you’re off a few layers, you’re a lot cooler even in the sun; and it’s just about everything you expected it to be.
It becomes a lot more fun when you realize you don’t have to just lie there; you can listen to music and read on your phone while you lie on your back and relax when you’re on your stomach with your head down.
₊‧⁺♱ ───
Your peace and quiet last almost a full hour before you’re being smothered by a very needy Ni-ki who’s more excited than he was this morning.
“You look good—I like these on you,” he says, pushing his sunglasses over your head so they don’t interfere with his kisses.
“You’re…” kiss.
“Blocking the…” kiss
“Sun…” kiss
“Oh, sorry.” He says, sitting back on his heels.
All this does is give him a better chance to really take you in.
This is when Jay and two of their other friends finally join up with you both.
“You’re so annoying—aren’t you annoyed?” Minjoon says, turning to you at the end of his sentence.
“No, not at all,” you say sheepishly, placing the towel you had as a pillow over your lap to cover up your lower half.
“Seulgi and Jihye came up with the idea to buy some pizzas, what do you think?” Ni-ki asks, hands in his lap to keep himself from getting handsy.
“Yeah, I’d like that.” You nod.
“Ugh, we’re out of beer.” Yuki groaned, shutting the cooler a little harshly as he pulls out the last bottle.
“We can buy more while we’re out, we’ll split up.” Jay announced, finding the keys to the van and his wallet.
“I’ll be back in a bit, text me if you need anything, yeah?” He says, on his palms to come forward a bit to kiss your cheek before he gets up on his feet.
“Yeah, I’ll just be here.” You nod, a small smile as you wait for them to leave again before getting comfortable.
You flip over every 15 minutes; that’s how you’re measuring how much time has passed.
When one of the girls comes out of the water to find a pair of goggles she’d brought with her, you’d turned over twice, which means Ni-ki had only been gone for 30 minutes before she did.
“Okayyy,” she says sweetly, bringing her bag up on one of the chairs near you.
You can’t help but smile; it’s still something you’re conscious about, so any compliments make you shy.
“I can’t believe you’re wasting such a gorgeous set on a towel—you should be out there!” She says, pulling things out and laying them on the side.
It’s not a secret, and you don’t really care to keep it to yourself, so you sit up to talk to her properly.
“I wish I could, but I can’t swim,” you frown.
You only said it like that so she wouldn’t think you’re trying to make her feel bad, but she takes you a little too literally.
“What? That can be taken care of—” she assures, pulling out the goggles and placing them the farthest from the things she means to put back.
“Jihye brought a paddleboard she isn’t using, I can ask Jae to help you get out there and you can use the board to keep yourself up.” She explains.
It isn’t a bad idea, not in theory; but it can’t be that easy, especially not in the context of an entire body of water as opposed to a pool.
“It’s fine, really.” You try to say, “maybe later I’ll go and stay near the edge.”
Yejin pouts a little but ultimately respects your decision, and just before she leaves she tells you the offer will stand if you change your mind.
Another 15 minutes start, and this is when you’re turned over on your stomach.
Only after that brief conversation did you start to think about your situation a little more.
It does suck; it probably feels nice to be in the water, especially the girls that have their boyfriends with them.
But you’re stuck on the shore; busying yourself with a million things at once just to keep you occupied when everyone else is having fun with just one thing.
You start to imagine it a little.
If you got the hang of it before Ni-ki got back, he’d come back to you in the water and he’d probably enjoy it just a little more.
It was only natural that you’d decide for it by the end of your last 15 minutes.
If Yejin was willing to take you in, surely she’d be willing to help you out if you knew you couldn’t handle it.
So you packed up your blanket and Ni-ki’s sunglasses, and you made your way to the water as close as you could get to wave Yejin down.
Thankfully, she meant what she said, so she remembered to bring Jae with her once she saw you.
You went back for the paddleboard together, and eventually came back to Jae; he made a face then and asked if you were both serious about the swimming thing.
“Don’t be mean, just help us out and then we won’t bother you.” Yejin scoffs, nudging him.
You feel a little foolish then, but you’re already here, and you don’t want to turn back on it.
Jae sighs, walking on ahead.
Yejin can only roll her eyes as she offers you her hand; you two walk together until the water reaches your waists, and that’s when Jae takes over.
He doesn’t touch you; maybe out of respect for Ni-ki, maybe because he doesn’t care—but he’s helpful in the sense that he secures the board under your arms while also pulling you with him.
The water is still considered shallow where he leaves you with Yejin.
It’s not so shallow that you touch the floor with your feet so quickly, but not so deep that you’d have any issues if the board came out from under your arms.
You’re comfortable; especially since Yejin chooses to stay with you even if she could go back to the depth she likes.
₊‧⁺♱ ───
Yejin is a little flashy with her swimming; she asks you to time her going back and forth, then she gets competitive with herself as she hears from you that her time gets shorter with each lap.
Eventually, you both agree on the idea to swim out to a buoy marking a certain distance from the shore.
It’s farther than the first few laps she’s done, but she makes a bet that she can return within five minutes if no waves interrupt her strides.
You count the first minute out loud, and once you have it, you hold up your pointer finger to restart the 60-second count.
You’re about halfway the second minute before you feel two hands press up against your back.
It startles you, and you almost let go of the board before you realize it’s more important than who’s behind you.
“Don’t worry, I’m just getting you back to where I left you.” Jae says; you recognize his voice but you can’t actually see him from where he’s positioned himself behind you.
“What?” You ask, slightly nervous now that you feel the difference between shallow water and deep water.
“You probably floated away, didn’t you notice?” He asks, his voice sounds weird though, as if he’s holding back a smile that’s holding back a laugh.
“No, I didn’t.” You admit, looking around you.
Surely you’re wrong, but it looks like you’re further from the groups of people than you were before.
Jae’s hands come off you, and your hands hold the edge of the board a little tighter, but just before you can ask again or turn to face him, you feel the water dip behind you and he’s gone.
It’s like you’re parallel to the buoy as opposed to being at a distance in front of it, but the water and small waves are messing with your perception and you can’t tell.
“Jae?” You call out, doing your best to turn in the other direction in hopes that you’d spot him close by.
You turn back in the direction of the buoy, and it’s when you see Yejin’s figure pop out of the water by the buoy and then immediately back under as she starts swimming back to where she thought you were.
You turn a little more, finally seeing how far you are from shore and most people.
This is fine.
Even if Jae is making a bad joke, Yejin will notice that you’re not there and she’ll make him come back for you.
So you wait it out; watching tiny blobs of people doing their own thing without ever really acknowledging you.
“What was that?” You gasp, making the mistake of reaching into the water to feel your leg.
In this position, all you can think about is animals; sharks, jellyfish, sting rays—you didn’t do nearly as much research as you should have, but surely there are no sharks, right?
But something rubbed against your leg—you could swear it did—and somehow the attempt to reassure yourself that nothing was there was more important than holding onto the one thing keeping you upright.
The board slips out from under your other arm, and in your panic, you sink into the water for a second before you come up naturally.
The board is attached to your wrist by a strap; knowing this, you try to bring it back to you by reaching out for it with both arms.
Now that the board and your hands are wet, it slips out of your hold repeatedly.
The thrashing from this— plus the weak attempts to kick your legs back and forth to mimic swimming—only work to pull you under the water again.
And then again.
And a third and fourth time until you’ve swallowed so much water that your throat burns from the saltiness and forces coughs out of you.
₊‧⁺♱ ─── ni-ki
Ni-ki noticed immediately that you were no longer where he left you.
The beach has no commodities, so it’s impossible for you to be anywhere but the one place you shouldn’t be.
But his attention is diverted for a moment as he sees people starting to gather at a certain point on the shore.
You’re probably there; maybe someone was injured in some way and the crowd gathered to help in whatever way they could.
Jay and Yuki notice it too; and since everyone is there, why not go themselves?
When they get close enough, the crowd actually starts shouting a bit.
Some people start walking into the water, and that’s when they see someone being pulled out of the water.
It’s brief, but Ni-ki sees a sliver of the person’s clothes and has the worst feeling settle in his stomach when he considers that it’s what your swimsuit would look like if it were wet.
He doesn’t have to imagine it for long though, because once he’s close enough that he naturally towers over shoulders and can see over people, he’s met with the sight of you being laid out on the floor by two guys.
He doesn’t even think about it before he’s pushing through the crowd; he just does it, and Jay and Yuki start following behind him in the gap he leaves behind.
“Is that…” Yuki says softly, slightly confused, where Jay reacts more like Ni-ki and is already taking up space on your other side.
No one had claimed you before then, so the people who helped you out allow them to do as they intend to under the impression that you’re related to them in some way.
The guy on the same side as Ni-ki backs up to ask if an ambulance was called, and it gives Ni-ki a chance to kneel closer to your head.
“What happened? Where was she?” Jay asks, turning to the guy on his side.
The man shrugs, “My friend saw her floating in the water and swam over to see if she was okay. We don’t know how long she was out there for.” He admits.
How is Jay supposed to translate that to Ni-ki to explain what’s going on?
Still, he knows he has to, so he turns back towards Ni-ki to at least try.
Only he’s interrupted by the sight of Ni-ki linking his hands one over the other before placing them over the center of your chest.
“Maybe we should-“ Jay tries to say, but he stops once he sees Ni-ki actually push down to start CPR.
Ni-ki does this for a while, and each time your stomach pops up slightly; once he gets to 30, Ni-ki turns your head so you’re looking up, and then tilts it back ever so slightly, breathing into your mouth twice before he starts the compressions again.
He repeats this cycle about two more times, and it’s when the paramedics have arrived that he’s about to stop.
The paramedics break up the crowd and start preparing their things as Ni-ki gives you the last two breaths from the previous cycle, but he doesn’t even get through the second one before he feels you tense up.
He backs away quickly, and you sit up instinctively and then off to the side; coughing up an alarming amount of water onto the floor beside him.
“There we go—“ one of them says in relief, leaving the AED to assess you instead.
The second paramedic takes the side Ni-ki’s on, and Jay comes around to pull Ni-ki away to let them do their job.
Even now that he’s gotten you to do this, Ni-ki doesn’t relax; he has yet to say a single word since he found you, and this is true even after you’ve started responding to the paramedics.
₊‧⁺♱ ───
Minjoon drives everyone back to the Airbnb; leaving you, Ni-ki, and Jay behind as the paramedics do their evaluation for you on the back of their ambulance.
They’ve wrapped you in a blanket; currently asking you if you remember how you ended up so far out if you couldn’t swim while they make you follow their finger.
“I think I drifted away from my friends without noticing…” you lie, doing everything to the best of your abilities.
“These guys?” One of them asks, making Jay a little nervous about a report being made.
“No, a few girls in the rest of our group.” You correct, “I don’t think we noticed how far away we were because they were swimming back and forth, so we’d get a little farther out without meaning to.”
It sounds plausible enough for them that they don’t push for more, and they’re mostly just relieved that you’re alive thanks to the efforts of at least one of your friends.
“I don’t see anything that would warrant a visit to the hospital, but drowning is a serious event.” The other says, almost lecturing you, “I’d encourage you to let us take you to the hospital just to make sure you didn’t crack a rib from the CPR.”
You look at Ni-ki when he says this, but Ni-ki is too busy staring down at his feet while he sits on the curb.
Apparently, he gave you CPR.
You look to Jay instead, hoping he’d be just a little more help than he probably should be.
“Our friends took our car, would it be possible for the three of us to ride with you?” Jay asks, looking towards the older paramedic.
“Of course,” he assures, “we’ll have to put you in the stretcher, but there’s enough space for your friends in the back.”
You agree to the hospital visit then.
The paramedics help secure you on the stretcher and then they get Ni-ki and Jay situated on one side of the ambulance while the second paramedic sits in the back with the three of you.
Only then does the embarrassment sink in; what could you possibly look like right now?
Entitled?
Foolish?
You’re probably just another job to the paramedics.
But does Jay think you’re an idiot?
Ni-ki hasn’t even looked at you since you came to; is he mad at you?
“Your friend might’ve saved your life, you know…” the paramedic says, trying to make up some conversation.
It brings you out of your head for a bit, looking up at him then briefly at Ni-ki.
“He was a lifeguard as a teenager…” you think to explain, “the prefecture his grandparents live in has a lot of beaches, and he spent a lot of summers there.”
It makes sense now that you’ve thought about it a little longer; but you weren’t thinking about this little fact earlier when Jay told you what Ni-ki had done.
“No kidding,” the paramedic smiles, an appreciative nod.
Even Jay didn’t know this about Ni-ki; but at least know he can understand where he was coming from when he decided to make the insane attempt to try CPR himself.
“So, you guys aren’t from here?” He adds, looking to Jay for this.
“I’m from Washington,” Jay explains briefly, then he answers for you and Ni-ki; “and then he’s from Japan.”
The assumption is that the paramedic wouldn’t understand immediately if Jay used cities or prefectures to explain where you and Ni-ki were from, so your answers by him are a little more generic.
The paramedic keeps up the conversation with Jay for the most part, but the hospital isn’t so far away and it isn’t long before they’re getting you three off.
₊‧⁺♱ ───
If you were embarrassed back on the ambulance, then whatever you feel being in front of doctors and nurses is something otherworldly.
They take a chest xray to check for fluid in your lungs and any internal injuries.
Ni-ki didn’t crack a rib—which is a relief to hear once Jay explains the details of the results to him after the doctor leaves.
A nurse explains that they just want to monitor your heart and lungs for an hour or two to catch any irregularities, so you three commit to the time being asked of you.
By now, Jay has also noticed the tension between you and Ni-ki, so when the time is right, he excuses himself and gives you both some space to talk.
Ni-ki doesn’t say anything himself; he’s sitting beside you with his arms crossed and an expression you can’t make out.
He’s been this way the entire time; he refuses to look at you properly and barely acknowledges you.
“Ni-ki…” you say softly, leaning forward so you’d be sitting more than lying down.
He waits a second before finally looking up at you, but he doesn’t say anything, leaving it up to you to start the conversation.
What are you going to say though?
Would you make it all about him by asking why he hasn’t talked to you?
Should you explain why it happened without him asking to?
You should still thank him for what he did, but this is your boyfriend you’re talking about, not some random stranger who helped you.
“Can I borrow your phone? I should call my mom.” You say, chickening out in the end as you decide to wait until he wants to talk to you.
Without saying a word, he nods and pulls his phone out of his pocket; he dials your mom’s number for you, and hands it to you when it starts to ring.
You’re on the phone for about five minutes before Ni-ki gets up and leaves the room; you try to not let it affect you as you continue to reassure your mom that you’re okay and that the hospital is sure of it.
Of course Ni-ki wants to know.
He’d like to know why his girlfriend would ever be remotely near the water when she won’t even agree to getting into a pool with him.
If you’d been in the water longer than 20 minutes like this, you would have died, there’s no way around that.
So how did you get so far out and then still have the chance to go unnoticed for so long that you fully drowned?
The thing is, if Ni-ki asks for details, two things will happen.
Either, he’ll let himself freak out now that the adrenaline part is over; and he’ll either cry or let himself imagine what could have happened, and what good would he be to you then?
Or.
He’s going to be angry with you for getting yourself in this position, and he’s going to be angry at anyone who helped you see it through.
And you don’t need that.
not in this state, where you haven’t even thought about it to the extent that he has.
Ni-ki’s little excursion was a trip to the bathroom.
He splashed his face with water, took his time getting back to your room, and stood outside of it for a while before he actually went inside again.
“They’re not going to make us wait the full two hours.” Jay explained, “they did a quick stress test and they’re happy with her vitals even under duress. I called Minjoon to come pick us up.”
Ni-ki nods, taking a different chair on your other side.
Jay glances at you, then back at Ni-ki, he feels bad for you—for the obvious reason of course—but also because you’re not exactly being comforted.
You made a mistake, how does that small mistake mean that you shouldn’t be consoled or taken better care of?
Unfortunately, it’s probably better that Jay doesn’t get involved, not while things are still relatively okay between you and everyone else.
₊‧⁺♱ ───
Minjoon arrives just as you’ve signed the discharge papers.
Some of the girls went through your things and gave him clothes for him to bring with him and it allowed you to leave in something other than your bikini.
This part is the easiest; Jay and Minjoon take the front seats, Ni-ki helps you into the back before getting in himself, and the first minute or two of the drive is quiet.
“How are you feeling?” Minjoon asks, looking at you through the rear view.
“Good,” you assure, a small nod, “my chest is a little sore, but that’s about it.”
He nods, then his expression shifts as he remembers something.
“Yejin feels horrible,” he sighs; Yejin is his girlfriend, so it makes sense that he’d want to clear up any misunderstandings for her if he could do it first.
“She realized you weren’t where she left you immediately but she thought you’d gotten out and went back to the things.” He adds.
Ni-ki and Jay don’t interrupt, they listen closely because this is the first time they’re hearing any details about the incident.
“I’ll talk to her when we get there,” you assure.
Minjoon pauses for a second then shakes his head as he stops at a red light, crossing his arms.
“I just can’t believe Jae would do something so stupid-“ he adds.
Ni-ki straightens up a bit then; what does Jae have to do with any of this?
“Oh…well…” you hesitate; if Minjoon knows because Jae told them, lying and pretending nothing happened would be worse than letting him tell Ni-ki and Jay.
You should try to get around this without getting into it too detailed.
“What did he do?” Ni-ki asks, leaning forward slightly to get between him and Jay over the center console.
The light turns green just as Minjoon realizes how intently Jay and Ni-ki are looking at him, it makes him nervous for a second before he focuses more on driving.
“Can we not talk about this anymore? I don’t want to think about this more than I already have.” You say, trying once more.
“Dude,” Jay calls out, gesturing at him to continue.
“Well…Jae said he was just trying to scare her…” Minjoon says carefully, “he said he didn’t believe you couldn’t actually swim…”
The car pulls into the driveway then, and it’s like nothing else actually matters except whatever Ni-ki has made up in his mind.
Jay realizes he’s going straight inside without you and can assume enough to ask Minjoon to help you while he lags behind Ni-ki.
By the time he’s caught up, Ni-ki has already spotted Jae and is making his way towards him.
Seulgi is there because she was waiting to see you when you got back, and she’s the one who actually sees it all play out.
“Where’s your girlf-“ Jae begins, looking at Ni-ki and failing to realize what he’ll do now that his left arm had been raised slightly.
If these were two random people, watching this from afar would be funny; Ni-ki strikes Jae and sends him stumbling back.
Then it stops being funny when Ni-ki makes it clear he’s going to do it again even after having hit jae unfairly and first.
Jay steps in; he let Ni-ki get one in because it felt fair, but he can’t let him create any issues when there’s still two more days in the trip.
“Don’t be an idiot, Ni-ki.” Jay warns, pulling him back to put some distance between him and Jae.
Seulgi gets between them then as well; she kneels beside Jae and asks him if he’s okay as she helps him up.
“Who the fuck do you think you are?” Ni-ki asks, “You wanted to scare her? What the fuck does that even mean?”
“It’s not like I was trying to kill her— I was going back for her when I saw two guys taking her back to the shore.” Jae explains.
It’s at this point that you and Minjoon have come inside, and the commotion downstairs brought everyone else out of their rooms to see what was going on.
“She’s fine anyway—did you really have to hit me?” Jae scoffs, setting Ni-ki off a second time—enough that he lunges forward to try hitting him again.
Yuki gets involved then, stepping between them to help Jay hold Ni-ki back.
“Is this really how you want to spend the night after all that’s happened today?” He asks, looking at Ni-ki and then Jae.
“Fuck you.” Ni-ki spits, “defending him because he’s your friend—my girlfriend could have died.”
Ni-ki realizes how everyone is staring, but all it does is make him double down.
“She would have died if someone else didn’t get her out of the water.” He continues, pushing Jay off him.
“She shouldn’t have been in the water in the first place if she really didn’t know how to swim.” Jae retorted, unable to keep his mouth shut.
“And you should be glad I didnt catch you alone.” He quickly says, “putting you in the hospital wouldn’t be nearly enough, but it would have been a start.”
Everyone can understand where the emotion comes from; but Ni-ki is anything but emotional—actually, it sounds like he’s threatening Jae with something he could easily follow through on.
Well, of course Ni-ki could follow through.
He split a line over the apple of Jae’s cheek, and his hands are big enough that the punch landed just a little under his eye as well.
You’ve been back for all of what?
Three minutes?
Yet Jae’s face is already starting to swell and Ni-ki’s fist is barely even reddish from the impact.
One can only imagine what Jae’s face will look like in the morning.
“What good is hitting him again going to do?” Jay asks, “does arguing about it change the fact that it happened?”
In this setting, Jay is Ni-ki’s closest friend.
And he’s older, so Ni-ki has no real choice but to listen to him as a voice of reason.
“We’ll deal with this in the morning. Can’t you just leave this alone for now?” He adds.
After an entire day of avoiding you when he could manage it, Ni-ki finally turns to look at you.
Maybe it was because he was able to do something about it; maybe because seeing you got to him a little; or maybe it’s just Ni-ki listening to Jay.
Whatever it was, he nodded; held his hand out to take you with him and lead you to your room.
And once you both disappeared down the hall, Jay started pushing everyone to do the same.
He’d mention a few things like them being nosey or too involved when they didn’t need to be, but he eventually got everyone to stop talking about it and into their own rooms.
He even convinced Jae to drop it after subtly reminding him that he kinda deserved the punch for what he’d done, and Jae let him.
₊‧⁺♱ ───
“Why did you—“ you begin, being cut off abruptly by Ni-ki as he wraps his arms around you.
For a bit, he just holds you tightly.
You don’t understand it at first because it’s a stark contrast to how he’d acted before you closed the door, but it almost feels like he’s trying to make himself understand that you really are standing in front of him.
One of his hands comes up and rests against your head, pressing it into his a bit before his other hand squeezes your hip gently.
Then you hear it.
Soft, quiet sobs that you’re only hearing because he couldn’t keep it together enough.
“Ni-ki…” you say softly, a gentle attempt to push him away so he’d look at you.
He shakes his head a bit against yours, hugging you tighter so you’d get the hint to not force him away.
And now that there’s no real reason to continue hiding it, he lets go just a little; still hiding behind you, but now a little more vocal.
“I’m- so glad you’re okay…” he says, his voice a little shaky.
“I don’t know what I would have done if…”
The implication hangs in the air, and even if you can imagine it, you haven’t really understood that part yet.
As far as you’re concerned, you were in the water, then asleep for a bit, and suddenly you were awake and laying on solid ground.
But at no point did you ever really consider that you could have died, not even after the paramedic outright said Ni-ki saved your life.
“Don’t…think about it like that.”
“I’m right here…”
It does very little to help him calm down.
But after he’s gotten this bit out of his system, he’s spent; how many different emotions has he gone through on just this one thing?
Worry; panic; indifference; anger; and then sadness?
But those are all blankets; how Ni-ki feels is indescribable, and he never wants to feel like this again.
You manage to get him to settle down in bed with you, but he’s every bit as clingy; he asks that you let him lay down with his head against your chest, but he doesn’t tell you why.
The truth is, the memory of having heard and felt nothing when he pressed his ear against your chest is haunting him, and he just wants to hear your heart doing what it should be doing.
And he falls asleep this way; holding you tightly with his head pressed into your chest as if it would really still be heard in his sleep.
You wait to fall asleep; just until you’re sure he’s asleep and wont try to do anything else.
If you could, you’d erase today from everyone’s memory and would love to move on like it never happened.
But the only way that’s achievable is if you get Ni-ki to do it first, because if he holds a grudge against Jae and brings it up again the next morning, it’s not going to be forgotten so easily.
⋮ 𓂃 toxic bf, established relationship, angst, fluff, arguments, hurt/comfort メ swearing, skinship, kissing, mentions of sex, etc
Being in a relationship was like the tide.
At times there were highs that could be deep and overwhelming. At others there were lows, where it was dry and closed off, leaving only the sand behind.
You didn’t truly think there could be an in-between, a normal, when the water was always moving.
Being in a relationship was like the tide, and Jungwon was like the ocean.
It was late when the sound of keys jingled at the front door of the quiet dorm. The sound of footsteps followed quickly after.
Wrapped in Jungwon’s warm sheets, you turned your head toward his door connecting to the hallway, waiting for him to step inside.
He flung the door open full force and quickly spotted you – laying half asleep in his bed. He rushed toward you – too fast for you to even register the situation – and flopped on top of you, taking away your ability to breathe.
“Hello?” You managed to puff out.
“I missed you.” He breathes, his hands wrapping around you.
“Missed you too, but please get off of me.”
He groaned, rolling off of your crumpled body and slipping under the covers, lying with his chest to your back and arms wrapped around you. He sighed in against your neck, as if a thousand problems floated away with just the scent of your perfume.
“How was your day?” You asked, trailing your fingertips up his arm, softly scratching him with your nails. His soft breathing brushed your neck as he nestled further into your body. “won?”
“Mm?” He groans, tightening his hold.
You pull his arms loose and twist around to face him and find his eyes looking back at you.
“wonnie, whats wrong?” You hold his face, tracing the caked lines of his dried makeup with your thumbs.
“Doesn’t matter,” he whispers softly, breaking eye contact. He moved out of your hold and hid his face in your neck even deeper.
Just as you started to ask him why he’s hiding from you, his lips begin to trail down your throat. That's when the annoyance begins to creep up on you.
“won, lets talk first,” you push him back lightly, but he resists, continuing his path along your collarbone.
“Mm,” he groans, the tone ignorant and dismissive. “Forget about it.”
Unease flooded your senses and worry tightened in your chest. He was shutting you out again.
Sometimes it felt like you weren’t the one he’s supposed to trust and confide in. We’re you not doing enough? Not making him feel safe enough to trust you?
Jungwon continues kissing your skin, soft under his lips.
He takes his time, sucking and covering your neck with marks, distracting you. The sound of his kisses echoing in the still room.
You whine softly and slide your arms up his back, pulling him closer to you.
Hands slide down your waist and slip under the thin band of your underwear, moving to palm your ass.
You lifted your head slightly, caught in the drunk daze of his gentle loving, until you realised what you were doing, how he was acting.
Your body flinched at his touch.
Slowly, you slide your hands back around to his chest and push softly, his kisses stopping abruptly as he notices your cold demeanour.
His hands slide back up from your underwear and he holds your waist once more, resting his forehead on your shoulder.
“Not tonight, won. I don’t feel like it,” you voice, sliding your fingers into his hair, combing the stiff pieces – thick with hairspray and gel.
Jungwon lifts his head after a moment, your hands falling from his scalp. He looked visibly annoyed, his forehead scrunched with irritation, “is it because I won’t tell you one little thing?”
Rolling your eyes, you scoot away from him, flipping over the covers and sitting on the side of the bed. “No, I just don’t feel like it, Jungwon.”
“No – you're pissed at me because I didn’t give you the answer he wanted,” he sits up now, leaning on his forearm.
“It’s not even because of that, you’re just being an asshole,” you counter, turning your head to glare at him.
“Oh so I’m an asshole now,” he looks confused, “are you on your period or some shit? Why are you acting different?
“How would you know if I’m acting differently? You barely even see me enough to notice anything.” A fact. One you didn’t mean to let slip.
Of course you knew he wasn't away on purpose, but when he was home, it always led to something else, and sometimes you just wanted him to hold you. Just to feel his warmth when the world felt cold.
Jungwon was silent for a moment, looking down at the mattress he lays on.
He gets up and walks to his wardrobe, his movements swift, grabbing sweats and a black tank top.
The guilt eats you, “won..” you plead, but he ignores you, storming out of the room and slamming the door behind him, heading to the bathroom to wash up. Maybe even to wash off your touch when it feels like betrayal.
You sat on the edge of the bed for a few more minutes, thinking about the argument. Why did he always have to make you seem like the bad guy? You just wanted him to be able to lean on you.
You knew how his world worked and you were so, so scared of losing him.
And for good reason, because now he was slipping away.
Fifteen minutes had passed and Jungwon still hadn’t come back into the room.
Quietly you changed into fresh clothes from your dedicated space in Jungwon’s wardrobe.
You thought as you put your things in your purse.
You thought about all the times he's done something like this and then acted as though nothing had happened. You thought about all the times he'd hurt you.
And then, for the first time, you thought about taking a break. From him and from the world.
Guilt slowly seeped into you as you stepped into the hallway, the door clicking softly behind you. You turned and were quickly met with the chest of one of the seven Enhypen members, Jay.
You crashed into him hard and he stepped back, holding your arm lightly to keep you steady. “Are you okay?”
He was concerned.
A genuine emotion.
Something Jungwon refused to let you see.
“Oh, sorry,” you apologise quickly, “I’m okay,” you assure him. You didn’t really feel like talking, especially when tears were threatening to spill.
He doesn’t notice though.
Good.
“If you were looking for Jungwon, he's in the living room,” he says as he lets go of your arm and moves back, giving you space when he notices how stiff you are.
“I’m actually leaving, but thanks,” you look to the floor when you say it, adjusting the strap of your handbag on your shoulder with shaking hands.
You don’t look up long enough to catch his reaction, but when you try to maneuver around him his hand blocks you.
“I know you two fight sometimes, and I know it’s none of my business, but he loves you, y/n,” Jay says gently.
That surprises you.
You take a moment, contemplating about how maybe Jungwon is just tired. Stressed, even.
Work is non-stop and maybe he just needs something to ground him. Maybe he just needs you.
That thought crosses your mind for just a second
But then you realise how they are all just maybes.
You remember how he treated you over a simple question.
How he dismissed you like you were nothing and it hurt.
“I think you need to remind him of that,” you say roughly, pushing his arm out of the way and moving past him.
You can hear him sigh, giving up when he knows you won’t budge. But it’s not like you don't have a valid reason.
Rain hits you in fat, hard pelts, crashing against your skin with force. The wind blowing your hair into watery eyes.
You knew better than to walk home in a storm like this without a proper coat, but you had to go home. You just couldn’t stay in that apartment, not when he was like that.
Your heart felt heavy and chained.
You were stuck.
Love isn’t a strong enough word for the obsession you have for Jungwon. Sometimes it felt like you couldn’t breathe without his familiar scent near you.
He was your comfort, but you aren’t sure you’re his.
The loud blare of a car horn rips you out of your sulking and headlights shine against your back, illuminating the dark street ahead of you.
Realising that the car had beeped and slowed for you, your steps resumed, quicker now as you attempted to ignore it.
Another blare sounded in the quiet street, and your heart began pounding, identical to the rain beating down on the concrete.
Now, certain they were following you, your head turned toward the danger at your back.
The car was a black Audi, sleek, new and… familiar.
You scoffed and all the tension in your body lifts.
The passenger side window rolled down with almost comedic slowness and the person you hoped not to see appeared, reaching over the glovebox with a stony expression.
“Get in.”
Rolling your eyes you began walking away, holding your arms close to your chest as a defence from the cold whipping your skin.
Following you, he kept the car at your walking pace.
“I’m not playing, y/n. You’ll get sick,” he says with a tone of boredness, like this was just another inconvenience.
“As if you care.”
His heavy sigh could be heard through the heavy rain, “Of course I care, baby. Just get in the car and we’ll talk okay?”
“No.”
“Y/n. Get in the fucking car.”
Gosh you wanted to, and it was oh so cold.
But you had to have some self-respect, right?
Though, self respect wasn’t enough to battle another minute in this storm. So you stomped over to the car and got in, slamming the door behind you.
“Thank you,” he sighed, turning the wheel to drive back to his dorm.
He was so calm and that made your body flare with anger, “you are so fucking rude sometimes, you know that?”
Jungwon keeps his eyes on the road, one hand on the wheel, another leaning on the ledge at his door.
Seeing his non-existent reaction, your head hits the headrest in defeat. “Why do you do this to me, Jungwon?”
Tears began spilling once more and your eyes wandered to the city speeding by.
As you stared out of the window, jealousy coursed through your veins and your chest ached.
Because why did the world have to keep spinning by while yours was crumbling right beside you.
It was silent for a few moments, the only sounds echoing in the vehicle being the blinker and his occasional tapping on the steering wheel.
Your quiet sniffles joined in to the small symphony of awkwardness.
He quickly noticed and snapped his head toward you, his eyes burning into the side of your face.
“Y/n?”
“Don’t even, won.”
“Y/n, don’t cry..” he whispers, pulling the car up to the side of the curb.
Ignoring him felt hypocritical.
You let out a shaky breath, wiping under your eyes with the sleeve of your hoodie, but the tears didn’t really stop, they just slowed, like the tide pulling back before another wave.
“I’m not crying because of you,” you mutter, even though it’s not entirely true.
Jungwon turns fully in his seat now, one hand still gripping the steering wheel like it’s the only thing keeping him steady. The streetlight above flickers against his face, catching the smudges of makeup he hadn’t fully washed off, exhaustion plaguing his face.
“Then what is it?” he asks quietly.
You laugh, but it comes out wrong and empty. “You really don’t know?”
Silence stretches between you again, but this one feels different. Thicker. Nothing to distract you in the background.
“I just…” You pause, swallowing hard. “I don’t know where I fit with you anymore.”
For Jungwon, the world felt as if it had collided with the moon.
You can see it in the way his expression falters, like the words physically hit him. Like it was a tidal wave taking him under.
“I come over and you’re either not there,” you continue, voice softer now, “or you are, but it’s like… you’re not really with me. And I get that your work is busy and you have to prioritise it at times but when I try to talk to you, you shut me out.” Your fingers twist in the fabric of your sleeve. “And then you act like I’m the problem when I don’t just go along with it.”
Jungwon looks down, jaw tightening.
“I’m not asking for everything,” you add quickly, making sure he knew that you understood what it took to be a girlfriend of an idol, “I just want you. Like… actually you.”
For a second, you think he’s going to deflect again. Get annoyed. Change the subject.
That’s what he always does.
But he doesn’t this time
Instead, he leans back in his seat, dragging a hand over his face, exhaling like he’s been holding it in for hours.
“I don’t know how to do that,” he admits.
That catches you off guard.
Your head turns toward him slowly.
“What?”
“I don’t know how to… just be like that,” he says, quieter now. “With you. With anyone.” He laughs under his breath, but there’s no humor in it. “Everything’s always loud. Busy. I don’t get to think about how I feel, I just… keep going.”
His fingers tap restlessly against the steering wheel again, like he needs something to do.
“And when I do stop,” he continues, voice dropping, “it all kind of hits at once. So I don’t. I just… distract myself.”
The words hang there.
You understand what he’s saying, more than you want to.
“And I’m just another distraction?” you ask, you just wanted closure at this point.
His head snaps toward you immediately. “No. No, you’re—” He cuts himself off, frustrated. “You’re the only thing that doesn’t feel like that.”
“Then why does it feel like I am?” you whisper.
Those words break him a little.
It's evident in the way his shoulders drop, in the way he finally looks at you properly, no excuses, just him.
“I miss you all the time,” he says, as if it was his biggest secret. “Even when you’re right there.”
Your chest tightens again.
“I just don’t know how to say it right,” he adds. “Or show it without messing it up.”
There it is.
Not distance
Not indifference.
Just someone who wants too much and doesn’t know what to do with it.
A man who keeps choosing the wrong ways to reach.
The car is quiet again, but this silence feels softer. Like words unsaid.
You look down at your hands, then back at him.
“Then stop trying to do it perfectly,” you say gently. “I just want you to try, won.”
Jungwon studies your face like he’s memorizing it, like he’s scared you’ll be swept away by his world.
“I am trying,” he murmurs.
“Maybe,” you reply. “But I need to feel it too.”
Another pause.
Then, slowly and carefully, he reaches over, no rushing, no overthinking. His hand finds yours, fingers hesitant at first before they lace together.
It’s such a small thing.
But it feels steady.
Something new out of something old.
“I don’t want you to leave,” he says, barely above a whisper.
You glance at your intertwined hands, then back up at him.
“Then don’t make me feel like I have to.”
His grip tightens just a little.
And for once, he doesn’t look away.
Being in a relationship was like the tide.
It never stopped moving. It never would.
But there was always an in-between, even if it feels impossible to find. It just takes time to discover.
Being in a relationship was like the tide, and Jungwon was still the ocean.
in which ° you drunkenly call your ex boyfriend heeseung in the middle of the night, asking him to come over. you done expect him to actually do it, until he turns up later, destroying you, then putting you together again as well as fixing your relationship
warnings ° smut, mdni 18+, exes to lovers, rough sex, dom!hee, sub!rea, gentle sex, aftercare, makeup sex, if theres anything else let me know
word count ° 1.1k
taglist ° @ikeuscape open!!
🫧claudias whisper ° i really enjoyed writing this!! i had a random idea while listening to 'hate that i made you love me' by ariana grande and i DONT PLAY ABOUT MY BABY ARIANA so i just had to write it
The silence of your apartment had become a suffocating weight, especially over the last few weeks. Every corner of the room held a ghost of Heeseung—the scent of his cologne on a forgotten hoodie, the indentation on the mattress where he used to sleep.
The breakup had been messy, a collision of pride and misunderstandings that left you both shattered and stubborn.
Tonight, however, the silence was drowned out by the rhythmic thrum of bass from a nearby bar and the burning slide of tequila down your throat. You were far past the point of rational thought. The alcohol had stripped away your resolve, leaving only a raw, aching hunger for the one person you weren't supposed to want.
Your fingers trembled as you dialed his number. You expected it to go to voicemail. You expected him to have blocked you. But when he picked up on the third ring, his voice was a low, gravelly rasp that sent a shiver straight to your core.
"What the fuck do you want, (y/n)?"
The roughness in his tone didn't deter you; it ignited something. "I miss you," you whispered, your voice thick and slurred. "I fucking miss you so much it hurts."
There was a long pause, the sound of his heavy breathing filling the line. "You're drunk," he stated, but there was a tremor of desire in his voice that betrayed him.
"Come over," you challenged, a sudden spark of desperation hitting you. "Or are you too scared?"
The line went dead. You slumped against your wall, wondering if you'd just pushed him too far, until forty minutes later, the lock on your front door clicked open. Heeseung stormed in, looking like a storm cloud in a black t-shirt and jeans, his eyes dark and turbulent. He didn't say a word as he slammed the door shut behind him, the sound echoing through the hallway.
He marched toward you, his presence overwhelming. Before you could even breathe, he had you pinned against the wall, his hands gripping your wrists and slamming them above your head.
"You think you can just call me and demand I come here?" he growled, his face inches from yours. His breath smelled of mint and something sharp, his eyes scanning your flushed face with a mixture of anger and longing.
"I didn't demand," you gasped, your chest heaving against his. "I asked."
"You're a brat," he hissed. He didn't kiss you gently. He crashed his lips against yours in a bruising, desperate collision. It wasn't a reunion; it was a war. He bit your lower lip hard enough to make you moan, his tongue forcing its way into your mouth to claim every inch of you.
He released your wrists only to grab your thighs, hoisting you up. You instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist, your skirt riding up to your hips. He groaned into your throat, his teeth grazing your skin, leaving marks that would surely be purple by morning.
"I hated you for calling me," he muttered against your skin, his voice vibrating through your chest. "I've spent every night trying to forget how you taste."
He carried you to the bedroom, not bothering to be careful. He dropped you onto the mattress and stripped his shirt off in one fluid motion, revealing the lean, hard muscles of his chest and stomach. You reached for him, but he stepped back, his eyes narrowing.
"Not yet," he commanded.
He stripped you with a rough efficiency, ripping your lace panties aside rather than sliding them off. He didn't use lubricant; he didn't use patience. He knelt between your legs, his large hands gripping your hips and bruising the skin as he pulled you to the edge of the bed.
He entered you in one heavy, punishing thrust. You screamed, the sudden fullness stretching you wide, a mixture of pain and overwhelming pleasure crashing over you. He didn't slow down. He began to fuck you with a rhythmic, violent intensity, his cock slamming into your pussy with a wet, slapping sound that filled the room.
"Tell me you're mine," he demanded, his voice a guttural command. He reached down, his thumb grinding hard against your clit while he continued to drive deep into you. "Tell me you're still mine, (y/n)."
"I'm yours!" you sobbed, your head tossing back against the pillows. "I've always been yours, Heeseung! Please, don't stop!"
The roughness peaked as he flipped you over, forcing you onto your hands and knees. He gripped your hair, pulling your head back so he could whisper in your ear while he hammered into you from behind. Every thrust hit your cervix, sending jolts of electricity through your spine. He was relentless, his body a machine of heat and friction, driving you closer and closer to the edge.
Just as you felt your walls begin to tighten, Heeseung let out a low, animalistic growl. He lunged forward, burying himself as deep as possible, and came with a force that made your entire body shudder. You followed immediately after, your orgasm ripping through you in violent waves, your pussy clamping tight around him as you both collapsed into a heap of tangled limbs and sweat.
As the adrenaline faded, the atmosphere shifted. The anger that had fueled the sex evaporated, leaving behind a raw, aching vulnerability. Heeseung didn't pull away immediately. Instead, he rolled over, pulling you tightly against his chest.
The roughness was gone. His touch became tentative, almost reverent. He began to kiss the crown of your head, his lips soft and lingering.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice cracking. "I'm so sorry for how I acted."
He shifted, gently lifting you to carry you into the bathroom. He didn't let you walk. He sat you on the counter and took a warm washcloth, carefully cleaning the remnants of their passion from your skin. He was meticulous, his movements slow and tender, ensuring you were comfortable.
Once you were clean and dressed in one of his oversized shirts, he led you back to the bed. He tucked the duvet around you, then climbed in beside you, pulling you into the crook of his arm. He spent the next hour just holding you, rubbing slow circles into your back, whispering apologies and admissions of how much he had suffered in the silence.
"I can't do this anymore," he murmured, kissing your temple. "I can't be without you. I don't care who was right or who was wrong. I just want you back."
You looked up at him, your eyes misty. "I don't want to be without you either."
He leaned down, kissing you—not with the violence of before, but with a sweetness that brought tears to your eyes. It was a promise, a reconciliation sealed in the quiet of the midnight hour.
"We'll fix it," he promised, tightening his grip on you. "I'm not letting you go again."
omg I was literally abt to post smth with hee, so I’ll just fulfill this request!
cw: links contain real porn, please click with caution and there are a mix of hard/soft kinks here <3
❀࿐ LEE HEESEUNG LINKS
𖦹 seeing heeseung cry was never a fun thing, so to get his mind off of being sad, you put on his favorite lingerie set you have, and let him do whatever he wants to you.
𖦹 type of videos you send to heeseung when he asks what you’re doing while he’s away on tour. adding a ‘miss you sm baby’ after the video, getting him so hard even from miles and miles away.
𖦹 heeseung bought you a new set of heels, and your favorite thing to do is test them in various ways and different contexts. yours being in the bedroom, just to see how they would look while sucking heeseungs cock and riding him. you love how his eyes look at you like you’re the sexiest woman alive, his eyes all pleading.
𖦹 heeseung loves somno so much. he gets horny so easily so having access to your body anytime, even when you’re sleeping was always the best. he waited until you agreed before actually testing it. and seeing you lay beside of him, ass out, subtly grinding against him, he can’t help but take you right there.
𖦹 heeseung was the one who took your virginity, and you’ll never forget how annoying it was. he was super cocky, and was mocking you the entire time through his teeth. you couldn’t even tell him to stop because it felt so good.
𖦹 going to the bar with heeseung and his friends was probably not the best idea. he played a million drinking games and lost every single one. so know he’s drunk, horny, and really wants to fuck you. you don’t know what to say so he ends up fucking you behind a tree. hoping nobody sees you.
𖦹 whenever heeseung comes home stressed, you’re always ready for him, especially because he likes to blow off steam, by having sex. when he gets home he lifts you up, and will either press you against a wall, counter, couch, and sometimes you’ll make it all the way to the bed before he slips it in.
𖦹 everyone but you thinks heeseung is a boobs guy, you’re reason for that, is whenever he picks the position to have sex in, he either picks doggy or reverse cowgirl, so he can see and play with your ass. I mean he does like your boobs, but your ass is just so perfect he can’t help himself.
𖦹 heeseung records videos like this when he’s missing you, especially when he’s on tour. puts them in a folder, and when you ask for a video of him, he’ll send one of these. he knows it’s not what you mean, but the way you facetime him almost immediately after watching the video, is what he loves.
𖦹 heeseung favorite thing to do, is makeout while he’s inside of you. it makes him even more horny and hard than he already is, and he loves it. the way your tongue feels on his, the thrill of a deep kiss, he loves it a lot.
Hii! I remember u made like an fic about anton being mean but regretting it and being really sweet towards the end on june 20th could u make a fic like that again pls 🥹 sorry im just so obsessed with those typa fics
TW: angst to comf. praises, oral sex m to f
a/n: me next
the fight started over something stupid, but now the air in the apartment is so heavy it feels like you can’t breathe. anton is pacing, his hair a mess from where he’s been running his hands through it, and the look on his face is pure, unfiltered irritation.
“you never listen, do you?” he snaps, his voice booming in the small room. he stops in front of you, looming, his chest heaving. “honestly, sometimes i feel like i’m talking to a brick wall. it’s like you’re too dense to even understand how much you’re ruining things. why are you always such a pain in the ass?”
the words hit you like a physical blow. the silence that follows is deafening. you don't say anything, just stare at him with wide, stinging eyes, your hands trembling at your sides. he freezes, the anger draining out of his face as he sees the way you flinch, the way your lip trembles. the realization hits him like a freight train, and his entire posture crumbles.
“baby, wait—i didn’t—” he reaches out, but you pull back, the hurt too raw. his face turns a sickly shade of pale. “fuck. shit, i didn't mean that. i’m… i’m a piece of shit.”
he’s moving before he’s even done talking, dropping to his knees on the rug right in front of you. he looks small, desperate, his hands reaching up to grip your thighs, not to hold you back, but to anchor himself. he’s pressing his forehead against your stomach, his eyes squeezed shut, a low, broken sound coming from his throat.
“i’m sorry” he whispers, his voice thick with genuine shame. “i’m so fucking sorry. i don’t know why i said that. i just—i was frustrated and i’m a coward and i took it out on the only person who actually gives a shit about me.” he looks up, his eyes glassy and pleading. “please. i’m so sorry. i’ll do anything. just tell me how to fix it.”
you just stare down at him, too exhausted to even fight the tears stinging your eyes. the hurt is still pulsing under your skin, a dull ache that makes your limbs feel heavy. anton is a mess of apologies, his hands trembling as they move from your thighs to your waist, his head bowed in a way that’s almost pathetic. he’s desperate for you to just look at him, to give him a sign, any sign, that you aren't leaving him behind.
when you finally give a small, tired nod, the relief that washes over his face is almost frantic. he doesn't wait. he’s already tugging at the hem of your shorts, his fingers surprisingly gentle now as he works the fabric down, sliding them over your hips until they pool at your ankles. he doesn't stop there. he pushes your panties down with them, leaving you exposed in the center of the rug, vulnerable and still shaking from the venom he just spit at you.
he doesn't hesitate to settle between your knees. his nose nudges against your inner thigh, that familiar, grounding scent of him—soap and heated skin—filling your senses. he looks up at you one last time, his eyes searching, before he dips his head.
the first touch of his tongue is a shock, wet and hot against your folds. he’s worshipping you now, trying to erase the memory of his harsh words with every flick and swirl. he uses his nose to bump firmly against your clit, a blunt, deliberate pressure that makes your breath hitch and your hips instinctively buck upward. he’s not rushing; he’s taking his time, his tongue dragging slowly over the sensitive, engorged bead, separating your folds with such care that it feels like he’s trying to memorize the shape of you.
“so pretty” he mumbles against your skin, his voice muffled and raw. “you’re so good to me… i don’t deserve you.”
he moves with a new, hungry rhythm, his tongue sliding deep into your slickness, then pulling back to focus entirely on the clit. he starts to suck, his mouth pulling your clit deep inside, his tongue working in rapid, swirling circles that send jolts of lightning straight to your core. every time you gasp his name, his grip on your thighs tightens, his thumbs digging in, grounding you as he makes you come undone.
the friction is dizzying. he’s relentless, his nose constantly bumping against you, grinding the sensitive skin as his tongue keeps up a punishing, heavenly pace. you’re clutching at his hair, your nails digging into his scalp, trying to pull him closer even though he’s already buried as deep as he can get.
“that’s it, baby, give it to me” he rasps, pulling back just for a second to look at you, his face flushed and his eyes blown wide with obsession. he doesn't give you a moment to breathe. he dives back in, his tongue darting out to lick the very tip, swirling around the sensitive nub until your vision blurs and your pussy starts to throb uncontrollably.
he’s drinking you in, lapping up the evidence of your pleasure like it’s the only thing that matters, his head bobbing with every surge of his tongue. the way he’s focusing on you, the way he’s obsessively trying to fix the damage he caused with his mouth, makes your heart ache in a completely different way. you’re sobbing now, not from the fight, but from the overwhelming sensation of him—of how he’s making you feel like you’re the most precious, delicate, and entirely ruined thing in his world.
“i’ve got you” he murmurs against your wet, aching folds, his tongue swirling deep and hard, pushing you over the edge. “i’ve got you, baby, you’re mine, you’re mine.”
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can i request anton being really mean to the reader because of his own stress then after seeing her cry, degrade herself, & try to brush it off take really good care of her sweetly
didn't know if you wanted it nsfw taking care of her or what so... i made it nsfw taking care of her....
a/n: i need him so fucking bad it's unhealthy,,,,,,,,
cw: angst to comfort, emotional distress, crying, self-degradation, praise kink, aftercare, soft/slow sex, breast play, clitoral stimulation, unprotected sex, creampie.
anton had been staring at the same music production screen for six hours, his jaw clenched so tight it ached. the comeback deadline was looming, the producers kept sending back his tracks with vague notes, and his hands were cramping from adjusting the same midi lines over and over. he was drowning, suffocating under the pressure, and the pounding headache behind his eyes was making him physically sick.
when you quietly unlocked the door to his studio, carrying a bag of his favorite takeout and a iced coffee, you thought you were helping.
"tony" you murmured, stepping into the dim, neon-lit room. "i brought you some dinner. you haven't eaten since—"
"i told you not to come here today" he cut you off, his voice flat, ice-cold, and entirely devoid of the gentle warmth he usually saved just for you. he didn't even turn around to look at you.
"i know, but you weren't answering your texts and i got worried" you said softly, walking over to set the bag on the small coffee table behind his desk. "just take a five-minute break, okay? you need to breathe."
anton let out a sharp, ugly scoff, finally spinning his chair around. his eyes were bloodshot, his long hair messy, and the glare he leveled at you made you freeze in your tracks.
"are you deaf?" he snapped, his voice rising, sharp and biting in the quiet studio. "i said i was busy. do you not have anything better to do than follow me around like a lost dog? i'm trying to actually work, and you're just standing there suffocating me. you're so fucking needy."
the words hit you like a physical slap. anton had never, ever spoken to you like that.
"i... i just wanted to bring you food" you whispered, your throat tightening instantly. the sudden sting of tears prickled your eyes, and before you could blink them away, a heavy drop spilled down your cheek.
you tried to swallow the sob rising in your chest, but it came out as a broken, pathetic hiccup. you immediately looked down, hating yourself for being so sensitive, your mind instantly spiraling into the worst thoughts.
"i'm sorry" you choked out, your voice trembling as you began to completely tear yourself down out of sheer panic and hurt. "i'm stupid. i'm so stupid, i always do this. i'm just annoying and i ruin everything... i'm sorry for being a burden, anton. i'll just—i'll go."
you wiped your face roughly with the sleeve of your sweater, trying to laugh it off, trying to act like your chest wasn't caving in. "it's fine, really. i'm just being dramatic. eat the food when you're done."
you turned around to grab the doorknob, your hands shaking so badly you could barely grip the metal.
but before your fingers could twist it, two big, heavy hands clamped onto your waist from behind, pulling you back against a broad chest.
the anger in anton's posture evaporated the second he heard your voice break. seeing you standing there, crying and literally calling yourself stupid and annoying because he had snapped—it completely shattered him. the stress that had been clouding his brain vanished, replaced by an overwhelming, suffocating wave of guilt.
"hey— no, wait. stop" anton panted, his voice completely different now—thick, panicked, and desperate. he turned you around in his grip, forcing you to face him, but you kept your head ducked, refusing to let him see how ruined you looked.
"look at me, baby. please" he begged, his large hands moving up to cup your face, his long fingers wiping the fresh tears streaming down your cheeks. when you tried to pull away, he just held you tighter, pulling your forehead against his chest. "fuck, i'm so sorry. i didn't mean it. i swear to god i didn't mean any of it."
"no, you're right" you sobbed against his shirt, your hands clutching his wrists to try and push him away. "i shouldn't have come. i'm just annoying—"
"stop saying that" he choked out, his own voice cracking as he buried his face in your hair. he was holding you so tightly it almost hurt, his big frame trembling with the suddenn fear that he had genuinely broken something between you. "don't say that about yourself. you're not stupid. you're the best thing i have. i'm the one who's a piece of shit. i'm the one who's pathetic for taking my stress out on you when you were just trying to take care of me."
he guided you over to the studio couch, pulling you down into his lap so you were sitting sideways across his thighs. anton didn't care about the music anymore, didn't care about the deadlines. he just wrapped his long arms entirely around you, burying his face in the crook of your neck, kissing the sensitive skin there over and over again until your sobbing began to slow down.
"i'm so sorry, sweetgirl" he murmured, his breath hot and shaky against your skin. "i was so mean to you. you don't deserve that. look how much you're shaking... look what i did to you."
his hands slid under your sweater, his large, warm palms pressing directly against the bare skin of your waist, rubbing soothing circles into your skin. the contrast of his earlier cruelty versus how desperately sweet and worshipful he was being now made your brain feel completely melted.
"tony.." you whispered, hiccuping against his shoulder.
"i've got you," he whispered back, his large fingers tangling in your hair, gently pulling your head back so he could look at you. his eyes were so soft, so completely obsessed and filled with devotion. "let me fix it. let me take care of you now, okay? you've been so good to me, and i was so bad."
he leaned in, kissing your wet eyelids, your cheeks, the tip of your nose, before finally pressing his lips to yours. the kiss wasn't rough or demanding—it was deep, slow, and incredibly sweet, his tongue sliding against yours with a soft, wet rhythm that made you moan quietly into his mouth.
anton groaned at the sound, his hands shifting to grip your thighs, pulling you closer until your pelvis was pressed flush against his. even through his sweatpants, you could feel how hard he already was, his length pulsing thick and heavy against you.
"you're so perfect" he panted against your lips, his fingers digging into the soft meat of your thighs. "so sweet for coming all this way to see me. let me give you what you want. let me make you feel good until you forget i was ever mean to you."
he didn't even wait for you to answer, his hands immediately moving to slip your pants and panties off with reverent, heavy touches, kissing every single inch of skin he exposed like he was begging for your forgiveness with his mouth.
anton groaned as he guided you down onto the leather couch, your bare skin contrasting against the dark material. he kicked his sweatpants away, exposing himself—already thick and weeping with pre-cum from how desperately he needed to feel you. he hovered over you, his tall, broad frame completely blocking out the rest of the dim studio, making you feel so tiny and safe underneath him.
"look at you" he whispered, his voice incredibly thick and deep as he parted your knees, settling his weight right between your thighs. "so beautiful for me. let me come inside, yeah? let me fix this."
he didn't rush. he positioned the blunt head of his shaft against your wet opening and slid inside in one slow, agonizingly deep stroke. a shaky sigh escaped your lips, your fingers immediately curling into his shoulders as his length filled you completely, stretching your tight walls.
"fuck... you're so warm" anton choked out, his eyes closing for a second as he leaned down to press a soft, lingering kiss to your forehead. "you fit me so perfectly, sweetgirl. such a good girl for taking me so easily."
he started moving in a long, rolling rhythm, his hips grinding slow and heavy against yours. every thrust was deliberate, meant to worship you, not hurt you. he reached up with both hands, bunching the hem of your shirtand pushing it up to your collarbone to expose your breasts. anton's gaze darkened, his breath hitching at the sight of your flushed skin.
"so pretty" he murmured, leaning down to bury his face in your chest. he took one of your nipples into his mouth, sucking on it sweetly, his tongue swirling around the sensitive peak until you were whimpering, your head rolling back against the couch cushions. he switched to the other side, using his teeth just enough to make you gasp, his thumb sliding down between your bodies at the same time.
his long fingers easily found your swollen clit, his thumb pressing down and rubbing in small, rhythmic circles that perfectly matched the slow pace of his hips.
the double stimulation was too much. you sobbed out his name, your legs wrapping tightly around his waist to pull him even deeper. "anton— ah, tony, please—"
"i'm right here. i've got you" he whispered against your skin, his voice raspy and full of devotion. he kept his movements steady, fucking you with that agonizingly slow, deep friction while his thumb kept working against your wet nub. "you're doing so well for me, baby. look how pretty your face gets when you're melting like this. i love the way you feel around my cock. so tight."
every time you whimpered, he kissed the sound straight out of your mouth, his tongue sliding against yours in a lazy, deep rhythm. he kept praising you, telling you how perfect you were, how much he loved your body, until all the lingering hurt from earlier completely dissolved into pure, heavy pleasure.
"that's it, cum for me" he groaned, feeling your muscles begin to twitch and clench frantically around him. he sped up just a fraction, his pelvis slamming a little harder against yours, his thumb applying just enough pressure to send you over the edge. "show me how much you like it. let me feel you squeeze me."
you moaned into his shoulder as your body shattered, a heavy, soaking climax clamping down hard around his entire length. the intense pulling of your walls broke whatever restraint anton had left. he let out a low, shaky groan, burying his face in your neck as he delivered three more deep, unyielding thrusts, bottoming out completely against your womb before his own body seized up.
he came hard, filling you up with thick, hot pulses of semen, his hips stuttering against yours as he emptied himself inside you.
afterward, he didn't pull away. he collapsed his weight carefully onto his elbows so he wouldn't crush you, his chest heaving as he panted against your skin. he kept his thumb gently resting against your sensitive core, his other hand sliding up to smooth your messy hair away from your face.
"i've got you" he whispered, pressing sweet, soft kisses all over your cheeks and jaw, his voice full of that gentle, quiet adoration you knew so well. "you're so perfect. thank you for taking care of me, baby. i love you so much."
୨ৎ Summary : After taking his obsession with control too far in the bedroom, Jungwon leaves you physically and emotionally shattered. When he wakes to find you crying for hours beside him, guilt crashes over him as he realises the damage he caused.
୨ৎ Pairing : boyfriend! Jungwon x girlfriend! reader
୨ৎ Wordcount : 3.1K
୨ৎ Warning : porn without plot, explicit scene, munch!Jungwon, freaky!Jungwon, Harddom!Jungwon, dubcon, unprotected sex (DON'T), dacryphilia, overstimulated, post sex meltdown, hurt with comfort
The dim light of the bedroom cast soft shadows across the rumpled sheets, but there’s nothing soft about the way Jungwon’s eyes lock onto yours. He’s usually all gentle smiles and tender touches outside these four walls, holding your hand during walks, whispering sweet nothings over lunch. But the moment the door shut and clothes started coming off, he’s not the same Jungwon who offers you his honey-like smile.
“Jungwon, please,” you whimper, your voice small and pleading, cheeks burning. You hate this, you hate how Jungwon is obsessed with edging you. This cruel game where he winds you up tight and then pulls back, over and over until you couldn’t think straight.
Jungwon clicked his tongue softly, eyes narrowing as he fixed you with a cold, unreadable stare. The sound dark and commanding. His fingers brush against your pussy. You’re already slick, swollen after all of his abuse. He circles your clit with deliberate slowness, applying just enough pressure to make your hips buck.
Slap!
He slapped your pussy. You yelp in over-sensitivity.
“You take what I give you.”
His touch quickens, rubbing firm circles that send sparks shooting through your core, building that heat until your breath comes in short gasps. Your thighs tremble, trying to close around his hand, but he forces them apart with his knee, holding you open.
“Jungwon—!” The plea turns into a cry as he slides two fingers inside you. Curling them against your G-spot makes you see stars burst behind your eyelids. He pump them steadily, his thumb flicking your clit in rhythm, pushing you higher, closer. Your walls clench around him, the pressure coiling tight in your belly. You’re right there, teetering on the edge, body arching off the bed as you chase it.
And then, nothing. He stops. Fingers withdraw, leaving you empty and throbbing.
“No, please!” you gasp, tears pricking at your eyes from the frustration. Your pussy aches, clenching around air, despreate for more. You hate how he does this, how it makes you feel so small, so out of control.
“You’re not coming until I say so.” He leans down, capturing your nipple between his teeth, biting just hard enough to make you yelp, then soothing it with his tongue.
You're trying to hold back the sobs building in your chest.
“Patience, or I’ll edge you all night.” his fingers plunge deep again, faster this time, thumb pressing hard on your clit. Your body is surrendering despite your protest, racing toward that peak once more.
He pulls away again, and you shatter into frustrated tears, body shaking with unfulfilled need.
“Please, just fuck me!” The words tumble out, bold for once from your shy lips, but he only grins wider.
“Beg properly,” he demands, his eyes dark with obsession.
“Wonnie… please…” You go full-blown sobs. You didn’t call using his name now, but using the lovely nickname you chose for your sweet Jungwon. But Jungwon didn’t budge.
“Look at you, crying like a little slut,” he growls, his voice low and mocking as he releases your wrist just to flip you onto your back fully, spreading your legs wider with rough hands. The sheets twist beneath you, but there’s no escape from his grip. He doesn’t care about the tears streaming down your cheeks or the way your body shakes.
He dives between your thighs without warning, his mouth crashing against your pussy like a storm. His tongue lashes out, flat and forceful, dragging over your swollen clit in harsh strokes that make your oversensitive nerves scream.
It’s too much, too rough after all the edging, the slap, the teasing that’s left you raw and aching. You cry out, a sharp, pained sound, as he sucks your clit into his mouth, teeth grazing the tender flesh just enough to sting.
“Jungwon, it hurts!” you sob, your hands flying to his hair, trying to push him away. Your legs kick weakly, heels digging into his shoulders in a desperate bid to close them, but he pins you thigh down with his forearm, bruhing the skin as he holds you splayed open.
“Shut up, you pathetic slut!” He snarls against your folds, the vibration of his words sending unwanted jolts through you. His tongue plunges inside your pussy, thrusting deep and erractic, lapping at your walls like he’s starving. Then comes the slap, his palm cracking against your pussy lips. The wet smack echoing in the room.
Pain blooms hot and sharp, making you yelp and arch off the bed, tears blurring your vision. Another slap follows, harder, right on your clit and you trash, fist pounding at his back now, nails scratching futilely at his skin.
“Stop! Please, it hurts so much!” Your voice cracks, sobs heaving your chest, but he ignores it all, burying his face deeper, eating you out with brutal intensity. His lips suck and bite, tongue flicking mercilessly, turning your frustration into outright agony.
The pain twists in your gut, mixing with the denied pleasure until it’s all just overwhelming hurt. Hearing him call you slut like that, so cold and degrading, chips away at yourself. It stings worse than the slaps, making fresh tears spill as you weakly shove at him again. But Jungwon doesn’t flinch, doesn’t soften. He pulls back just to slap your pussy one more time, the impact making your whole body jolt, then dives in again, his mouth devouring you until you’re a trembling, sobbing mess.
Without another word, he grabs your hips, yanking you toward him, and slams his cock into your pussy in one brutal thrust. You’re not ready, still throbbing from the abuse, and the stretch burns, his thickness forcing your walls apart too fast, too deep. You scream, hands scrabbling at his chest, trying to push him off, but he pins you down, pounding into you relentlessly.
Each thrust is punishing, his hips snapping forward with enough force to jolt your body up the bed, his cock hitting deep, battering your cervix.
“Fuck… you’re so tight when you cry,” he grunts, degrading words spilling from his lips like venom. “Cry more, you slut, take my cock like the good slut you are.” The slaps come again. This time to your thighs, your ass, as he fuck you harder, faster, the wet sounds of skin on skin filling the room.
It hurts. God, it hurts. Your pussy is clenching in pain rather than pleasure, the friction is raw and tearing at your nerves. Your kick weakens, fist falling limp as the overwhelming assault blurs your vision, emotions crashing over you like waves. The name he calls you slices deeper, hurting your heart, making you feel small and used, nothing like the girl he whispers to outside this room.
The world tilts, pressure building not from ecstasy but from the sheer intensity, your body unable to process it all. One brutal thrust too many, and everything goes black for a second. Your vision tunnelling, breath catching as you black out, limp beneath him. When awareness flicker back, he’s still rutting into you, chasing his own release, oblivious or uncaring to your distress. You didn’t enjoy it, ot one bit; it’s all pain and heartbreak now, tears soaking the pillow as you lie there, broken and spent.
Your body lies limp and spent on the tangled sheets, the world slowly sharpening back into focus as the blackout fades. Jungwon's cock still twitches inside you for a moment longer, spilling the last of his cum deep into your sore pussy before he grunts in satisfaction and pulls out abruptly. The wet slide leaves you feeling emptier than before, a trickle of his seed leaking out onto your thighs, mixing with the slick mess from his rough eating and slaps. He rolls off you without a word, not even glancing at your tear-streaked face or the way your chest heaves with ragged breaths. No gentle touch, no whispered apologies. Just the cold indifference of a man who’s gotten what he wanted.
He turns his back to you, pulling the covers up over his shoulders, and within minutes, his breathing evens out into the steady rhythm of sleep. The room falls silent except for your stifled whimpers, the ache between your legs throbbing like a fresh bruise. It hurt, the raw burns of your pussy from the pounding, the sting of slaps that still lingers on your swollen lips and clit. But worse is the emotional knife-twisting in your gut, the way his degrading words echo in your head.
Tears spill freely now, hot and unrelenting, soaking the pillow beneath your head. You curl into yourself, knees drawing up to your chest as sobs wrack your body, quiet at first to not disturb him, but growing louder with each passing minute. The clock on the nightstand ticks past midnight, then one, then two. Hours drag by in the dim glow of the bedside lamp you forgot to turn off, your cries turning hoarse, chest aching from the force of them. You hug your arms around your middle, rocking slightly, whispering broken pleas into the empty air.
Jungwon doesn't stir, doesn't reach for you, leaving you to drown in the pain alone, your pussy still clenching sporadically around nothing, a cruel reminder of the denial and abuse.
Finally, a rustle from his side. Jungwon’s eyes snap open. Bleary at first, then widening as the sound of your crying registers fully. It’s not the frustrated tears from earlier; this is deeper, raw, unending. Panic floods his face, sleep vanishing in an instant as he bolts upright, the cover pooling at his waist.
“Baby? Oh god, what’s wrong?” His voice is rough from sleep, but laced with alarm, and his hands reach for you immediately. Hovering uncertainly before gently cupping your face, thumbs brushing away the damp trails on your cheeks. He pulls you into his chest without hesitation, strong arms wrapping around your shaking form.
“Shh, I’m here, I’m so sorry, baby—talk to me, please.” The tenderness crashes over you, so at odds with the dom from hours ago, his heart pounding against your ear as true fear grips him, realising he’s gone too far this time.
Your body trembles in his arms, the warmth of his chest a stark contrast to the chill that’s settled into your bones from hours of crying. Weakness pins you down. Every muscle heavy and drained, but a spark of hurt-fueled anger flickers enough for you to lift a limp hand. Your palm connects with his shoulder in a feeble slap, barely more than a brush, the impact draining what little energy you have left. It stings your own skin more than his, but it’s all you can manage.
Words scrape out of your raw throat, voice cracking like brittle glass.
“I told you to stop… why didn’t you stop? It hurts… it hurts Won,” the sentence dissolves into fresh sobs, your face burying deeper into his neck, tears soaking his skin. You don’t pull away, too exhausted to fight the embrace. But the accusation hangs heavy between you, raw and accusing.
Jungwon’s body goes rigid at the weak hit, then slumps with the weight of guilt crashing over him. His arms tighten around you instinctively, not to restrain but to hold you together, as if he could piece back the damage with sheer force.
“Fuck, baby, I’m sorry,” he murmurs. Voice thick with regret, his hand stroking your back in slow, soothing circles. The panic in his eyes sharpens into something deeper. Remorse that twists his gut like a knife. He hurt you, really hurt you, ignored your pleas in the head of the moment, and now the reality slams into him. His free hand cups the back of your head, finger threading gently through your hair, rocking you like a child.
“I got carried away… I thought you could take it, but I was wrong. God, I’m so fucking sorry. Please, let me make it right.” his breath hitches. Jungwon’s eyes are stinging as he presses kisses to your temple, desperate to erase the bruises, physically and otherwise.
Exhaustion finally wins.
Your sobs taper into broken hiccups against Jungwon’s chest, each breath weaker than the last. The adrenaline that had kept you crying for hours drains you from your body all at once, leaving nothing but heaviness behind. Your eyelids flutter, lashes still wet with tears, and your fingers loosen where they had weakly clutched at his shirt.
Jugnwon feels the moment you give in to sleep.
“Baby…” he whispers, voice cracking.
You don’t answer. Your breathing turns shallow and even, face tucked against his neck like you had no strength left to hold yourself anymore. Guild nearly chokes him.
Carefully, as though you might shatter further in his hands, he lowers you onto the mattress. He pulls the blanket over your trembling body, then disappears into the bathroom only to return with a warm cloth. He kneels beside the bed, gently wiping away the dried tears on your cheeks, the mess on your thighs, the evidence of everything he had done.
His hands shake the entire time. Every faint mark on your skin feels like a personal condemnation. The bruising fingerprints on your hips. The redness between your legs. The swollen softness of your lips from crying.
“Fuck…” he mutters under his breath, eyes burning.
He applies ointment with delicate fingers where you’re sore, pausing every few seconds to make sure you stay asleep. Then he helps you into one of his oversized shirts, tugging it down carefully over your body. When he’s done, he crawls back beside you but doesn’t dare touch you right away.
Jungwon lies there awake until sunrise, staring at the ceiling with horror curdling in his chest.
The next morning, sunlight spills pale gold through the curtains. You wake slowly, body aching in places you don’t want to think about. Your head pounds from crying. Your throat feels raw. Even shifting beneath the blanket makes your muscles protest.
For a second, everything is quiet. Then memory crashes down. Your chest tightens instantly. You hear movement nearby and turn your head to see Jungwon sitting at the edge of the bed. Already dressed in soft sweats and a loose shirt. There’s a tray on the nightstand. Warm porridge. Water. Pain medicine. Fresh fruit cut into neat little pieces.
The second he notices your eyes open, he stands.
“Hey,” he says softly, “good morning, baby.”
You look away. The silence that follows hurt him more than yelling ever could. He swallows. “I made breakfast. And I got medicine for your body… and your throat.” his voice falters. “You don’t have to talk yet.”
You nod once, barely. Jungwon approaches slowly, like he’s afraid of startling you.
“Can I check if you’re okay?”
Another tiny nod.
His fingers brush your forehead first, then hesitate before moving lower. He doesn’t touch your wrist. Doesn’t touch anything tha tmight remind you of last night. Instead, he smooths your hair back gently, eyes full of something wrecked.
“You have a slight fever,” he murmurs.
You still don’t look at him. He helps you sit up, arranging pillows behind your back. Every movement is careful, patient. When you wince, his face crumples.
“I’m sorry,” he blurts immediately. “I’m so sorry,”
You stare at the tray instead. He kneels beside the bed now, looking smaller than you’ve ever seen him.
“I know saying sorry isn’t enough.” his hand curl into fists in his lap. “I know I scared you. I hurt you. I ignored you when you told me to stop.”
Your lips tremble. The sadness you’d fallen asleep with is still there, heavy and dull in your chest. Because the person who held you all night is the same person who made you cry for hours. Because tenderness after cruelty doen’t erase cruelty. Because you love him and that make it hurt worse.
Jungwon sees tears gather in your eyes again and panics.
“No, baby, please don’t cry,” he reaches out, then stops himself midair. “Sorry,”
“I don’t know how to look at you right now.”
The words gut him. His head drops instantly, shoulders shaking with one sharp inhale.
“You don’t have to forgive me today,” he says quietly. “Or tomorrow. I’ll wait as long as it takes.”
He rises long enough to bring the tray closer, then kneels again.
“Eat a little, please. Then I’ll run you a bath. I bought a new ointment too.” His eyes stay lowered. “And if you want space, I’ll give it to you.”
You watch him for a long moment. He looks devastated. But devastation is not the same thing as repair. Still, when your hand trembles reaching for the spoon, he steadies the bowl without a word. No teasing. No control. No arrogance. And even though the sadness remains lodged deep inside you, some small broken part of you notices he is finally listening.
You don’t say it.
The room stays wrapped in quiet, broken only by the soft clink of the spoon against the bowl and Jungwon’s careful breathing beside the bed. He doesn’t rush you, doesn’t beg again, doesn’t try to fill the silence with promises. For once, he simply waits.
Your hands are still weak when you set the spoon down. The ache in your body remains and so does the sadness. Forgiveness does’t arrive cleanly. It comes tangled with hurt, exhaustion, the memory of tears that still sting behind your eyes.
Jungwon reaches to take the tray away. You acth his wrist. He freezes instantly. His eyes lift to yours, wide and uncertain like he can’t breathe until he knows what you’ll do next. You don’t speak. Instead, you slide your hand down until your fingers slip between his, gently curling around them.
His lips part, a shaky breath leaving him as his shoulders sag with relief so sudden it almost looks painful. His eyes gloss over, lashes damp as he stares at your joined hands.
“Baby…” he whispers, voice fractured.
You still say nothing. Jungwon moves immediately, climbing onto the bed with care and settling beside you. He gathers you into his arms like something precious he nearly destroyed, holding you so gently it feels like apology poured into touch. His face buries in your hair.
“I’ll do better,” he murmurs agains your temple. “I swear to you. I’ll never make you beg to be heard again,”
Your cheek rest against his chest, listening to the frantic beat of his heart. You don’t know if trust can be rebuilt in a day, or know if the hurt will disappear tomorrow. But when your fingers tighten around the fabric of his shirt, and his arms tremble as they hold you, he understands.
Not everything is fixed. But you forgave him enough to let him try.
⋮ 𓂃 toxic bf, established relationship, angst, fluff, arguments, hurt/comfort メ swearing, skinship, kissing, mentions of sex, etc
Being in a relationship was like the tide.
At times there were highs that could be deep and overwhelming. At others there were lows, where it was dry and closed off, leaving only the sand behind.
You didn’t truly think there could be an in-between, a normal, when the water was always moving.
Being in a relationship was like the tide, and Jungwon was like the ocean.
It was late when the sound of keys jingled at the front door of the quiet dorm. The sound of footsteps followed quickly after.
Wrapped in Jungwon’s warm sheets, you turned your head toward his door connecting to the hallway, waiting for him to step inside.
He flung the door open full force and quickly spotted you – laying half asleep in his bed. He rushed toward you – too fast for you to even register the situation – and flopped on top of you, taking away your ability to breathe.
“Hello?” You managed to puff out.
“I missed you.” He breathes, his hands wrapping around you.
“Missed you too, but please get off of me.”
He groaned, rolling off of your crumpled body and slipping under the covers, lying with his chest to your back and arms wrapped around you. He sighed in against your neck, as if a thousand problems floated away with just the scent of your perfume.
“How was your day?” You asked, trailing your fingertips up his arm, softly scratching him with your nails. His soft breathing brushed your neck as he nestled further into your body. “won?”
“Mm?” He groans, tightening his hold.
You pull his arms loose and twist around to face him and find his eyes looking back at you.
“wonnie, whats wrong?” You hold his face, tracing the caked lines of his dried makeup with your thumbs.
“Doesn’t matter,” he whispers softly, breaking eye contact. He moved out of your hold and hid his face in your neck even deeper.
Just as you started to ask him why he’s hiding from you, his lips begin to trail down your throat. That's when the annoyance begins to creep up on you.
“won, lets talk first,” you push him back lightly, but he resists, continuing his path along your collarbone.
“Mm,” he groans, the tone ignorant and dismissive. “Forget about it.”
Unease flooded your senses and worry tightened in your chest. He was shutting you out again.
Sometimes it felt like you weren’t the one he’s supposed to trust and confide in. We’re you not doing enough? Not making him feel safe enough to trust you?
Jungwon continues kissing your skin, soft under his lips.
He takes his time, sucking and covering your neck with marks, distracting you. The sound of his kisses echoing in the still room.
You whine softly and slide your arms up his back, pulling him closer to you.
Hands slide down your waist and slip under the thin band of your underwear, moving to palm your ass.
You lifted your head slightly, caught in the drunk daze of his gentle loving, until you realised what you were doing, how he was acting.
Your body flinched at his touch.
Slowly, you slide your hands back around to his chest and push softly, his kisses stopping abruptly as he notices your cold demeanour.
His hands slide back up from your underwear and he holds your waist once more, resting his forehead on your shoulder.
“Not tonight, won. I don’t feel like it,” you voice, sliding your fingers into his hair, combing the stiff pieces – thick with hairspray and gel.
Jungwon lifts his head after a moment, your hands falling from his scalp. He looked visibly annoyed, his forehead scrunched with irritation, “is it because I won’t tell you one little thing?”
Rolling your eyes, you scoot away from him, flipping over the covers and sitting on the side of the bed. “No, I just don’t feel like it, Jungwon.”
“No – you're pissed at me because I didn’t give you the answer he wanted,” he sits up now, leaning on his forearm.
“It’s not even because of that, you’re just being an asshole,” you counter, turning your head to glare at him.
“Oh so I’m an asshole now,” he looks confused, “are you on your period or some shit? Why are you acting different?
“How would you know if I’m acting differently? You barely even see me enough to notice anything.” A fact. One you didn’t mean to let slip.
Of course you knew he wasn't away on purpose, but when he was home, it always led to something else, and sometimes you just wanted him to hold you. Just to feel his warmth when the world felt cold.
Jungwon was silent for a moment, looking down at the mattress he lays on.
He gets up and walks to his wardrobe, his movements swift, grabbing sweats and a black tank top.
The guilt eats you, “won..” you plead, but he ignores you, storming out of the room and slamming the door behind him, heading to the bathroom to wash up. Maybe even to wash off your touch when it feels like betrayal.
You sat on the edge of the bed for a few more minutes, thinking about the argument. Why did he always have to make you seem like the bad guy? You just wanted him to be able to lean on you.
You knew how his world worked and you were so, so scared of losing him.
And for good reason, because now he was slipping away.
Fifteen minutes had passed and Jungwon still hadn’t come back into the room.
Quietly you changed into fresh clothes from your dedicated space in Jungwon’s wardrobe.
You thought as you put your things in your purse.
You thought about all the times he's done something like this and then acted as though nothing had happened. You thought about all the times he'd hurt you.
And then, for the first time, you thought about taking a break. From him and from the world.
Guilt slowly seeped into you as you stepped into the hallway, the door clicking softly behind you. You turned and were quickly met with the chest of one of the seven Enhypen members, Jay.
You crashed into him hard and he stepped back, holding your arm lightly to keep you steady. “Are you okay?”
He was concerned.
A genuine emotion.
Something Jungwon refused to let you see.
“Oh, sorry,” you apologise quickly, “I’m okay,” you assure him. You didn’t really feel like talking, especially when tears were threatening to spill.
He doesn’t notice though.
Good.
“If you were looking for Jungwon, he's in the living room,” he says as he lets go of your arm and moves back, giving you space when he notices how stiff you are.
“I’m actually leaving, but thanks,” you look to the floor when you say it, adjusting the strap of your handbag on your shoulder with shaking hands.
You don’t look up long enough to catch his reaction, but when you try to maneuver around him his hand blocks you.
“I know you two fight sometimes, and I know it’s none of my business, but he loves you, y/n,” Jay says gently.
That surprises you.
You take a moment, contemplating about how maybe Jungwon is just tired. Stressed, even.
Work is non-stop and maybe he just needs something to ground him. Maybe he just needs you.
That thought crosses your mind for just a second
But then you realise how they are all just maybes.
You remember how he treated you over a simple question.
How he dismissed you like you were nothing and it hurt.
“I think you need to remind him of that,” you say roughly, pushing his arm out of the way and moving past him.
You can hear him sigh, giving up when he knows you won’t budge. But it’s not like you don't have a valid reason.
Rain hits you in fat, hard pelts, crashing against your skin with force. The wind blowing your hair into watery eyes.
You knew better than to walk home in a storm like this without a proper coat, but you had to go home. You just couldn’t stay in that apartment, not when he was like that.
Your heart felt heavy and chained.
You were stuck.
Love isn’t a strong enough word for the obsession you have for Jungwon. Sometimes it felt like you couldn’t breathe without his familiar scent near you.
He was your comfort, but you aren’t sure you’re his.
The loud blare of a car horn rips you out of your sulking and headlights shine against your back, illuminating the dark street ahead of you.
Realising that the car had beeped and slowed for you, your steps resumed, quicker now as you attempted to ignore it.
Another blare sounded in the quiet street, and your heart began pounding, identical to the rain beating down on the concrete.
Now, certain they were following you, your head turned toward the danger at your back.
The car was a black Audi, sleek, new and… familiar.
You scoffed and all the tension in your body lifts.
The passenger side window rolled down with almost comedic slowness and the person you hoped not to see appeared, reaching over the glovebox with a stony expression.
“Get in.”
Rolling your eyes you began walking away, holding your arms close to your chest as a defence from the cold whipping your skin.
Following you, he kept the car at your walking pace.
“I’m not playing, y/n. You’ll get sick,” he says with a tone of boredness, like this was just another inconvenience.
“As if you care.”
His heavy sigh could be heard through the heavy rain, “Of course I care, baby. Just get in the car and we’ll talk okay?”
“No.”
“Y/n. Get in the fucking car.”
Gosh you wanted to, and it was oh so cold.
But you had to have some self-respect, right?
Though, self respect wasn’t enough to battle another minute in this storm. So you stomped over to the car and got in, slamming the door behind you.
“Thank you,” he sighed, turning the wheel to drive back to his dorm.
He was so calm and that made your body flare with anger, “you are so fucking rude sometimes, you know that?”
Jungwon keeps his eyes on the road, one hand on the wheel, another leaning on the ledge at his door.
Seeing his non-existent reaction, your head hits the headrest in defeat. “Why do you do this to me, Jungwon?”
Tears began spilling once more and your eyes wandered to the city speeding by.
As you stared out of the window, jealousy coursed through your veins and your chest ached.
Because why did the world have to keep spinning by while yours was crumbling right beside you.
It was silent for a few moments, the only sounds echoing in the vehicle being the blinker and his occasional tapping on the steering wheel.
Your quiet sniffles joined in to the small symphony of awkwardness.
He quickly noticed and snapped his head toward you, his eyes burning into the side of your face.
“Y/n?”
“Don’t even, won.”
“Y/n, don’t cry..” he whispers, pulling the car up to the side of the curb.
Ignoring him felt hypocritical.
You let out a shaky breath, wiping under your eyes with the sleeve of your hoodie, but the tears didn’t really stop, they just slowed, like the tide pulling back before another wave.
“I’m not crying because of you,” you mutter, even though it’s not entirely true.
Jungwon turns fully in his seat now, one hand still gripping the steering wheel like it’s the only thing keeping him steady. The streetlight above flickers against his face, catching the smudges of makeup he hadn’t fully washed off, exhaustion plaguing his face.
“Then what is it?” he asks quietly.
You laugh, but it comes out wrong and empty. “You really don’t know?”
Silence stretches between you again, but this one feels different. Thicker. Nothing to distract you in the background.
“I just…” You pause, swallowing hard. “I don’t know where I fit with you anymore.”
For Jungwon, the world felt as if it had collided with the moon.
You can see it in the way his expression falters, like the words physically hit him. Like it was a tidal wave taking him under.
“I come over and you’re either not there,” you continue, voice softer now, “or you are, but it’s like… you’re not really with me. And I get that your work is busy and you have to prioritise it at times but when I try to talk to you, you shut me out.” Your fingers twist in the fabric of your sleeve. “And then you act like I’m the problem when I don’t just go along with it.”
Jungwon looks down, jaw tightening.
“I’m not asking for everything,” you add quickly, making sure he knew that you understood what it took to be a girlfriend of an idol, “I just want you. Like… actually you.”
For a second, you think he’s going to deflect again. Get annoyed. Change the subject.
That’s what he always does.
But he doesn’t this time
Instead, he leans back in his seat, dragging a hand over his face, exhaling like he’s been holding it in for hours.
“I don’t know how to do that,” he admits.
That catches you off guard.
Your head turns toward him slowly.
“What?”
“I don’t know how to… just be like that,” he says, quieter now. “With you. With anyone.” He laughs under his breath, but there’s no humor in it. “Everything’s always loud. Busy. I don’t get to think about how I feel, I just… keep going.”
His fingers tap restlessly against the steering wheel again, like he needs something to do.
“And when I do stop,” he continues, voice dropping, “it all kind of hits at once. So I don’t. I just… distract myself.”
The words hang there.
You understand what he’s saying, more than you want to.
“And I’m just another distraction?” you ask, you just wanted closure at this point.
His head snaps toward you immediately. “No. No, you’re—” He cuts himself off, frustrated. “You’re the only thing that doesn’t feel like that.”
“Then why does it feel like I am?” you whisper.
Those words break him a little.
It's evident in the way his shoulders drop, in the way he finally looks at you properly, no excuses, just him.
“I miss you all the time,” he says, as if it was his biggest secret. “Even when you’re right there.”
Your chest tightens again.
“I just don’t know how to say it right,” he adds. “Or show it without messing it up.”
There it is.
Not distance
Not indifference.
Just someone who wants too much and doesn’t know what to do with it.
A man who keeps choosing the wrong ways to reach.
The car is quiet again, but this silence feels softer. Like words unsaid.
You look down at your hands, then back at him.
“Then stop trying to do it perfectly,” you say gently. “I just want you to try, won.”
Jungwon studies your face like he’s memorizing it, like he’s scared you’ll be swept away by his world.
“I am trying,” he murmurs.
“Maybe,” you reply. “But I need to feel it too.”
Another pause.
Then, slowly and carefully, he reaches over, no rushing, no overthinking. His hand finds yours, fingers hesitant at first before they lace together.
It’s such a small thing.
But it feels steady.
Something new out of something old.
“I don’t want you to leave,” he says, barely above a whisper.
You glance at your intertwined hands, then back up at him.
“Then don’t make me feel like I have to.”
His grip tightens just a little.
And for once, he doesn’t look away.
Being in a relationship was like the tide.
It never stopped moving. It never would.
But there was always an in-between, even if it feels impossible to find. It just takes time to discover.
Being in a relationship was like the tide, and Jungwon was still the ocean.
you have a boyfriend gifted with a pornstar cock, but he refuses to use it on you, too scared he'll end up hurting you. so your best shot is to devise a plan to get him to crumble, and even if things don't unfold quite as expected, what matters is the result anyway... right?
starring ⋆ f!reader x park sunghoon, besties!jaykewon
this work contains ⋆ smut ⋆ minors do not interact ⋆ barely any plot, way too much smut, sunghoon being diabolically hung, my extremely poor attempts at humor, established relationship, nasty nasty shit... brat tamer sunghoon, alcohol consumption, implied driving under the influence, jealousy, slut shaming (not from hoon), a tiny bit of violence, blood, size & bulge kink, fingering, dry humping, slight degradation, partially clothed sex, a freaky voice message, edging & overstim, oral (f!rec), mutual masturbation, lube, squirting, unprotected sex ⸻ rules m.list
length ⋆ one shot ⸻ 23.6k words
⭑ NIA ⸻ i'm in pain and my period is abt to start ANDD antibiotics fucked my stomach up so if you see typos no you don't. anyways. big fat cock. who agrees!! shoutout to my homies vivi and stella for putting up with my ass and deactivation threats anytime i write anything ever!!! and for having read this before anyone else
Having a dick so big multiple people suggest you make a career out of it isn't half as nice as it sounds, Sunghoon would know that better than anyone.
Even before getting any experience, he'd been aware of just how comically large his dick was. He'd known ever since he had to go out of his way to search for porn with ‘massive cock!’ in the title for it to look anything like his, and even then he often found himself thinking they had to be exaggerating a bit for the sake of clicks.
Turns out, the comparison with real life average sizes is even more ridiculous.
He knows it sounds silly, there are hordes of men out there that would pay good money to swap places with him—his dear friend Jake being the first in line.
Sunghoon still cringes when he remembers the first time he'd oh so innocently asked Jake for his opinion on the matter. Truthfully, all he wanted to hear from his bleached blonde friend was some reassurance, maybe how it was all in his head, or how at the end of the day the right person would love and appreciate every part of him no matter what, or whatever you tell people in situations like these. His first mistake was believing Jake out of all his friends would do the most tactful thing.
“That thing’s like—fucking huge!” Jake shrieked, grabbing Sunghoon’s phone out of his hands, every protest falling on deaf ears. “There’s no fucking way, man.”
“It’s not that b—” Sunghoon tries to speak, but Jake stops him before he even gets a sentence in, calling Jay’s name at the top of his lungs.
“What are you—”
“WHAT,” Jay yells back from the kitchen, over the deafening sound of the food processor in use, annoyed by Jake’s continuous interruptions that day. Of which at least four were to show him some nasty looking recipe he found on tiktok.
“You gotta come take a look at this!”
At the time, Sunghoon was still vaguely uncomfortable around Jay. He was nice enough, and he was a great roommate, so there was that at least. It was a good trade off because the other option was staying at the way too crowded shitty dorms, and he liked the privacy that this deal got him. He wasn't always on board with it, Jake had to talk him into it when high school ended, but he swore him and Jay would be the bestest of friends if only he could let his reservations behind for a little, at least give him a chance.
Sunghoon moved away halfway through the second year of high school, and for a while it felt like Jay had swapped places with him and taken the life he was supposed to live for himself. First his best friend, Jake. Then the girl of his dreams, the one he never found the courage to confess to, you.
Thing is, while Sunghoon could recognize Jay had done absolutely nothing wrong to him per se, he still felt betrayed by him in a way. Truly it was just envy.
The food processor comes to an abrupt halt, and all that can be heard from the other room is a deep sigh, followed by the sound of dragged footsteps as their tall friend walks into the messy—in the way only college boys living spaces can be—living room with resignation. “Fine. But this better have nothing to do with Cheetos or tacos.”
“Much better.” Jake winks at him, nudging Sunghoon’s hands away with his elbow, the younger hissing in pain. “Behold,” he turns the phone towards an unassuming Jay, aware of the fact he's about to change the older's view of Sunghoon forever.“Sunghoon’s monster of a cock.”
Jay’s hands stop on his apron, (the ridiculous one with a bodybuilder torso and cheetah boxers Jungwon got him for a secret Santa) and his mouth hangs open for a second too long, before he comes back to his senses and notices how Sunghoon slumps back on the couch, cheeks burning red. Jay swats the phone out of Jake’s hand. “What the fuck is your problem, dude.”
“What? I’m just saying it’s way larger than average!”
“He’s uncomfortable.” Jay says, going back to drying his hands on the apron. “Leave him be.”
This only makes Sunghoon’s cheeks redder, his ears a bright pink too. Jake scoffs, eyeing him suspiciously. “Sure. I’m sure having a porn star cock must be so mortifying. Who even complains about stuff like this?” he snickers before making his voice a pitch higher. “‘Poor me! My dick’s too heavy! What will I do!”
“Oh my god,” Sunghoon runs a hand through his hair, pulling the ends a bit. “It is not that big.” He looks at Jay for support, expecting him to disagree with Jake.
Jay’s gaze falters to his pants for a split second. His mouth twists but he remains silent.
“Not you too.” Sunghoon's hands now hold his face as he sinks into the cushions further, legs spreading. “Just say what you wanna say.”
“I mean…” Jay gestures towards Sunghoon's crotch. “I suspected you were big but… that’s crazy, man.”
“It’s not that cra—”
“Yes it is! You’ve got a fucking gas storage tank in your pants and you wanna sit here and tell us it’s not crazy?” Jake says, exasperated by that point. “And stop playing dumb. It’s big. That’s good. I’m sure the ladies go crazy over it. Or the gentlemen. Or whoever it is you fuck.” He kisses his teeth, muttering under his breath. “Lucky bastard.”
“Jake’s right, Hoon. I don’t know why you're so… negative about it. It's a good thing."
“I wouldn’t know,” Sunghoon mutters under breath, more to himself than to the guys, but it’s still loud enough for them to catch it.
“Oh? Then whenever the time comes, you’ll see how much they’ll love it,” Jay says.
"I'm just worried." Sunghoon tries his best to avoid both sets of eyes staring intently at him. "What… what if I end up hurting someone?"
Jake coos, then moves closer to Sunghoon on the couch, his breath fanning over his ear as he whispers, “Always so concerned about other people. Aren't you such a cutie pie?”
The boys weren't exactly wrong, but with big dick come great responsibilities—as Jake said. Yup, roll your eyes at him, not Sunghoon. He's innocent—like having to finger and eat out your partners for what feels like an eternity before even trying to push the tip in, which is not exactly the best situation to be in as a virgin. Current Sunghoon thinks that's the best part, but it took a while to get here.
Sunghoon has always been a very patient man though, a gentle giant in every sense of the phrase. The last thing he would ever want to do is inflict pain accidentally on another human being.
When he got his first actual girlfriend, he'd been so nervous and honestly quite scared to have sex with her. So he got on Google whenever he had free time to study ways to make it as comfortable as possible, watching all kinds of video explanations or reading through feminine pleasure blogs written by women for women specifically, because that's where Jay told him the good stuff was at.
By the time he got to actually have sex with her, his mind was so overwhelmed by all this information that he essentially forgot how to even think. It was anything but romantic, so deeply embarrassing Sunghoon still cringes even after all this time when his mind betrays him and reminds him of it while trying to fall asleep at night.
And then, to add insult to injury, his girlfriend cheated on him and left him for this guy she'd only just met, because 'it might not be as big, but at least he knows how to use it'.
Heartbroken and with an hurt ego, Sunghoon did that thing all boys do when their first relationship doesn't work out: hit the gym and promise themselves they're never gonna fall in love ever again.
That second part ended up failing, because from the moment you showed up at his doorstep to visit (your now ex boyfriend, but a beloved friend nonetheless) Jay and Jake, five different bags around you, with eyes as big as saucers and staring at him like he had invaded his own apartment, all the feelings younger Sunghoon had for you hit him like a brick to his nape all over again.
You two dating came as a shock to everyone around you, mostly because while you were aware of Park Sunghoon's existence and vice versa, you'd never given it too much thought. You remembered him as the scrawny kid with the cute moles from math that you used to always catch staring. He was often around Jungwon because they were neighbors, but was way too shy to even say hi to you. That, and he was also always around Jake—who you were not exactly fond of, given his reputation—so you steered clear of him when you could manage to.
Then, when the third year of high school started, you stopped seeing him around, and Jungwon told you he had moved away to follow his dad's business. You wouldn't admit it at the time but the hallways seemed duller than usual for a few days, but that probably was also due to Jake not being as loud and energetic with his best friend gone.
Last year of high school, you went on a few dates with Jay from history class, and while he was the closest you have ever thought a man to be perfect, you both agreed you worked better as friends than anything more. Usually that means 'you're cool but I'm gonna try my best to not have to say hi to you if I see you around', but Jay is so wonderful, you actually kept in touch and became quite close, even if platonically.
By the time the year ended, you had a very tight group of friends consisting of yourself, Jungwon, Jay, and even Jake—who, for the record, isn't nearly as bad as all the crazy rumors make him out to be. It saddened you that it took so long to find your group, but you were grateful you had one nonetheless, a lot of people never get that luxury, so you weren't about to let a little graduation get in between you all. You spent a good five days consoling Jake that no, no one was going anywhere and yes, you will all be best friends for life.
But then college started, and it became difficult to stay in touch because Jay and Jake had to move. Jake reassured you that you and Jungwon would be more than welcome to visit and stay over at their apartment—which you found funny because that is technically not Jake's apartment at all, at least not until Hoon moved in too and the three of them started sharing the costs, but he has a way of making every place he steps foot in his, like he's meant to be there, so Jay let it slide.
So the first thing you did when you finally had some free time was getting on the cheapest flight available to go visit your friends. Heavy luggage in hand and stained sweatpants on, you were dumbfounded when the one who opened the door for you was none other than Park Sunghoon, and not Jay like you expected.
He was no longer the shy kid you remembered him to be, and he had grown nicely into his features, his hair now a jet back instead of the brown you were accustomed to see. Over those two weeks you realized that while you have know Sunghoon all your life, you had never really seen him, and it made you want to go back in time and hand a little paper note to the shy boy always staring at you during class.
Your head sinks further into your pillow with a whine, the case enveloping it sporting gray spots of wetness, where your tears and drool had accumulated over the last torturous half an hour Sunghoon spent fucking you open with his fingers. You don't know what he means, because you feel like you could take his entire fist by now, that's how wet you are. If your pillowcase is such a mess, you don't even wanna think about what your bed sheets look like.
"I can– take you," you protest, breath hitching mid sentence at a particularly deep curl of his fingers inside you.
"Yeah?" Sunghoon quirks an eyebrow at you, moving his thumb to suddenly hover over your clit. It's not a full touch, nor does he really move it from there, but just the expectation of it has your walls involuntary flutter around his digits. A wicked grin overtakes his face, in a way you think it would clash with his prince-like features. But it looks right at home on him, the canines poking out only adding to his devilish charm.
"Then what's this? Gripping me even tighter," he says against your lips again, like he can't pick between kissing you or speaking, like anything he does he needs to do it with your taste on his mouth. He shakes his head, pouting at you before you get the chance to retort. "Squeeze me this tight when I'm inside you, and I'll believe you're trying to push me out, baby."
The press of his length against your thigh doesn't help, and when your eyes roll to the back of your head, half the reason is the new spot he's now reaching making you see stars, the other is your frustration with him. You know he's huge, and you know he cares about your comfort above all, but a little sting as he bottoms out inside you would be a hundred times better than the 'prep' he's subjecting you to. It took so long to even get here, and now he plans on making you wait even more? You have half the idea to push him off of you and get on top of him, take what's yours. If he's not gonna believe you can take him, you might as well just show him.
Of course, that wouldn't work, because Sunghoon is infinitely stronger than you are and the only thing you would accomplish is looking stupid thrashing under him as he keeps you pinned down. Probably with one arm only too, to really get his point across.
"Add another finger then." There's a certain bark in your tone that makes him chuckle. That's all it is: bark and no bite. You can do nothing but demand, and demand, and demand again, but if he's not willing to give it to you, there is close to nothing you can do about it. And it makes Sunghoon's cock twitch against the slick skin of your thighs. He loves knowing he has you at his mercy.
"Woah!" he gasps, and the fake surprise only irritates you further. Or at least that's what you tell yourself, because Sunghoon doesn't miss the way you clench around his fingers whenever he talks to you like this. "Missy, you're so bratty today… where are your manners?"
The retort is ready on your tongue, but the words mold into a surprised hiss when he actually prods your hole with a third digit, feeling around for a way to slowly ease it into you. You fear it won't be as easy as you hoped, but you also don't want to back down now that he's giving in.
"Just put it in." You angle your hips to give Sunghoon easier access.
"Easy there." He leans back on his knees, and you hate how you're so needy. Even when he's still so close, fingers pumping in and out of you at a torturous pace, you crave for every inch of your body to be touched by his, for your breaths to mingle for as long as possible. You wonder how it's possible to miss someone who's right in front of you, but your heart yearns to hear the rhythmic beat of his own against your chest all the same.
You don't get to dwell on it too long, because the sensation of something wet dribbling right where Sunghoon's fingers meet you rips you out of your thoughts.
It takes a few seconds for you to realize what's happening, but when it sinks in, your mouth slowly hangs open in a moan, eyes closed to relish the feeling.
"You like that?" Sunghoon asks, and for once you can't bring yourself to care about the cockiness in his tone. In fact, it's the last thing you could care about—not when his digits are working to spread his spit all over you, and his third finger is slowly making its way inside you right next to the others. It's a tight fit, and Sunghoon can't really move his fingers like he wishes to, but it'll do for now. He can always do it over and over again until you're ready, as long as you keep making those faces for him. "Look at you," he continues. "You were so demanding earlier, now you're falling apart and I'm barely just getting started."
You clench around him hard, body all tensed up as you accommodate the sudden change in thickness.
Sunghoon bends down again when he notices you're not easing up, trailing his way back up your body with pecks, giving you a few on your lips once he reaches your face. "Does it burn, baby?" he asks, the playful edge in his tone from earlier completely gone, smoothed down to the usual soft timbre you love so much. "Do you want me to take it out? I'll make you cum with two fingers, it's okay."
You shake your head. The stretch does burn, but you also want to prove to him that you can take him.
"You sure?" The murmur vibrates against your ear, the sound of his voice close enough to have you arching your back, pushing your stomach against his harder figure. If you had any sort of reservation about continuing, it's totally gone now. His insistence to make you comfortable always ignites pure want in you.
You nod, but your eyes are still screwed shut because of the burn, so it's not enough for Sunghoon to let go yet.
He slows down his movements, trying to help you out, but the whine you let out is enough to let him know you actually want what he's giving you and more. Still, he needs to hear it. "Use your big girl words, I know you can."
"Wanna keep going."
"Aaand?"
"Please, Hoon." You know you're far gone when you don't even care about how whiny you sound, you would get onto your knees and beg if he asked you to right then. You would want to forget about it right after, but still, you would do it in a heartbeat.
Thankfully, your boyfriend is very nice to you, so 'please and thank you's are enough to keep him satiated, at least for now.
"Good girl."
The praise goes straight to your cunt, further tightening the grip you have on his fingers. Sunghoon is flattered, but that's not what you need in that moment. So he reminds you.
"Take deep breaths, baby. It's only gonna hurt more if you don't ease up."
"Hoon, want more."
"I know baby, I know. But it'll feel better if you stop tensing up. Here, follow my breaths and let go." He kisses both of your shut eyelids. "Eyes on me, pretty. Okay?"
You obey him like it's second nature, but when you open your eyes and you're met with the downright angelic sight of your boyfriend, black strands of hair framing his face and his chain dangling slightly from his neck, you don't understand how you're supposed to calm down. He starts taking deep breaths, ones you try your best to mirror. And despite what you thought, the focus on your chest rising and falling and the warmth in Sunghoon's eyes does make the stretch a lot better. You were enjoying yourself before too, all things considered. Now it's different, you're struggling to keep your sounds in, and any other time you would be mortified by how much wetness is seeping out of your cunt, but Sunghoon's presence is relaxing in a way no one else's has ever been for you.
The more you explore each other's bodies, the more you start to think that maybe, just maybe, there is not a single thing you could do with Sunghoon that you would ever regret. The safety of a judgment free zone with someone who obviously cares deeply for you makes the experience so much better than you could have ever imagined. What other people did to you, no matter how pleasurable, just didn't measure up to what Sunghoon does with you. And you haven't even gone all the way in.
"Theeere we go, see how much better it feels when you're not being a brat?"
Sunghoon is careful with you, watching your every reaction and studying your expressions so he can learn exactly what makes crumble and what brings you closer to the edge, what makes you forget you have to breathe and when to pause so he can drag your pleasure out for as long as he wants, for as long as you can handle. His cock is rock hard, casually rutting against you from time to time. You have half a mind to reach into his boxers and help him out, but you're not sure you could do a good enough job at it, not when he's starting to bend the tips of his fingers to reach right where you need him.
You can feel yourself getting closer, so you grab his wrists—whether to stop him or push him further, you don't know yourself. What you do know, is that just fingers have never felt this good before, and if you had the choice to feel like this forever, you would take it.
The sudden grip doesn't deter Sunghoon, it encourages him instead. His movements are faster, deeper, but still just as precise. It's like he already knows the ins and outs of what brings you pleasure. "Gonna come all over my hand, baby? I know you're close."
You nod desperately, throat too raw and dry to produce sounds more complex than little whines—which Sunghoon finds adorable, he can't wait to find out what sounds you make when he's splitting you open on his cock. He coos, and that alone almost makes you cum. Almost, because what really does you in is his thumb moving to finally circle your clit, really touch it.
Your body tenses up again when your vision goes a searing white, but Sunghoon's other hand finds your thighs right away to prevent you from caging his hands between your legs. He worked hard to make you cum, so you're not gonna take the sight of your fluttering pussy away from him, not when he has rightfully earned it.
"You did so well," he says, his hand caressing the skin of your inner thigh as a reminder to relax your muscles, his thumb slowing down its movement on your clit as your walls flutter around his digits at longer intervals each time.
You eventually even out your breathing, your vision still a little fuzzy, but you feel lighter and content. Once Sunghoon is sure you're okay, he pulls you in for a sweet kiss, like he wasn't just rearranging your guts with his fingers alone moments ago.
"Perfect, you're so perfect," he whispers between kisses, landing a wet smack on your nose when you scrunch it in response. "You're always gorgeous but this—fuck, you're beautiful." He keeps kissing you, each kiss waking up a different butterfly in your stomach. You feel giddy like you haven't ever since you were a kid running through the meadow on a spring evening. You giggle when he reaches the valley of your breasts, and run your fingertips through his hair, his head resting on your chest.
"I love you," Sunghoon whispers, and for the first time in your life you know those words to be true, no hidden intention behind them, no cruel joke waiting for you at the end of the line. It feels right when they're coming out of Sunghoon's mouth.
"I know, I love you t—what are you doing." It's much more of an accusation rather than a question, because you see the little wicked glint in his eyes as he resumes kissing his way down your body—first down your navel, then between your thighs.
"Showing you how much I love you, duh." He spreads your legs as open as he can get them before you start protesting again. "Besides, I haven't gotten a taste yet."
You should stop him, because suddenly you're reminded of how he still hasn't come yet, and you would feel bad to neglect him. The look in his eyes though—needy, almost feral— keeps you pinned right in your spot. "What… about you?"
Sunghoon looks at you, genuinely confused. "What about me?"
"Yeah, I should be… helping you out." You glance down at him, and the wet patch on his boxers makes you clench around nothing. Had you not witnessed first hand how messy Sunghoon can get, you would assume he cummed already. Knowing that's only pre though, makes saliva flood into your mouth at the mere thought of your boyfriend's cock pumping load after load down your throat. Screw 'not hurting' you, you would be happy gagging and choking endlessly around him if it meant you got a tiny little taste.
"Oh baby, but you are helping me out. Just lay back and let me." Sunghoon pops two of his fingers in his mouth, tasting the residues of you high still lingering on his skin, rich and divine on his tongue. "So good, now let me get a real taste."
He trails his wet fingers up your body, relishing in the way you shiver under his touch when he brushes over your nipples. He grabs your face once he reaches it, and forces you to look at him. "Wanting to please me… aren’t you such a generous girl? So, so good for me. So eager to please, you’re so cute.” He doesn't miss how your lip twitches in response to his words, and how your hand slides between your thighs and how they close around it. “But, I'm still not done.”
“But—”
“Shhh,” he silences you right away. He parts your lips with his thumb, and your response to it is immediate, sucking on it without needing to be told what to do. You swirl your tongue around his finger eagerly, as if trying to show him what he is missing by not letting you take his cock out his pants. “See? So perfect for me. Such a pretty and obedient girl, am I right?”
You nod subconsciously, like he has you under a spell, ready to comply with anything he asks out of you. Maybe he does.
“I know that’s right.” Sunghoon takes the thumb out of your mouth, coating your lips with your own spit as he caresses them with it. “Then do what you’re told and lay back. I can fuck you another time. Now spread those legs for me mkay? Yeah, just like that. So much we can do in the meantime."
"I just don't get why he won't stick it in me."
"You have such a way with words."
You throw a fry at your best friend, only to get more irritated when he catches it midair with his mouth. Jungwon chews it loudly with his mouth open—because he knows it annoys you to death—then washes it down with his coconut milkshake that he won't let you get a sip of because 'using the same straw as me counts as cheating now that you're dating Sunghoon'.
"Okay but why? You're a man. What's the thought process behind this? Tell me."
"Girl, it's your boyfriend. You tell me."
"What if he doesn't fine me att—" A fry hits you right on your forehead, and it's like the impact activates your brain cells, because of course Sunghoon finds you attractive, that is not the problem.
"Now, let's be honest with ourselves please. None of that shit."
Your back hits the bed with a soft thud, arms spread out as you stare at the very familiar ceiling of your room. A sight you've been taking in quite often recently, while trying to come up with a plan to get Sunghoon to dick you down good.
Jungwon shoves a fist of fries in his mouth, barely chewing before speaking again. "I don't get why it's such a big deal."
You roll onto your side, facing the blonde little gremlin occupying the space next to you. "It's a big deal because— why is your ass on my pillow. Jungwon get—"
He silences you by feeding you a handful of fries from the container on his lap. "You were saying?"
You gulp them down quickly before replying, because you're civilized enough to do so, unlike someone else. "We've done it all, and I know he's scared of hurting me, but I can also tell he's holding back. I'm ready– I've been ready. It's just… whenever I think it's gonna happen he pulls back so suddenly, like he's restraining himself."
"Mhh… you've talked to him about this, right?" Jungwon looks at you in a way that feels entirely too judgmental, like skipping the communication part is something you do often enough for it to be a pattern. Something he needs to check off of a list before he gives you more advice.
He's not completely wrong. As in, at one point in your life you had made an habit out of assuming people's thoughts and intentions, but that is in the past. And those people are not your Park Sunghoon.
The polaroids messily scattered on the wall above your desk, like someone had dropped them and they'd defied gravity to stay there, glimmer as the sun starts its golden descent into the horizon. Old, more ruined around the edges ones you took right after Jungwon got you a polaroid camera with his very first salary from working at an ice cream shop over the summer. Pictures of sunsets and dumb words carved into sandy beaches, of thumbs digging into teenager Jungwon's dimples. Newer, glossier ones that you took when Sunghoon gifted you a new camera, after the one Jungwon got you finally broke down after years. You'd cried so hard that day, because it had felt like growing up.
The charger is still hidden under all the mess of receipts in your comforter's drawer, you still hope one day the pink sticker covered camera will turn on if you charge it long enough.
But some things are meant to stay in the past, and better ones are always hiding behind the corner, ready to come your way.
You aren't the young girl with the pink polaroid camera anymore, just like you're not the girl that is scared to voice her thoughts and troubles any longer.
"Of course I have."
"And?"
"Won, he just tells me I need more prep. I've had plenty of that, trust me. Like, he's spent the last month using this toy on—"
"Okay, okay I get it. I trust you, spare me the details."
"—Point is, I'm more than ready. I know it's gonna be uncomfortable and a bit painful at first, he's like… so huge it's—"
"I get it."
"—but that's a given with how big he is. I think it's just… him being nervous, really."
"Have you… tried to, uhm. Take charge? Maybe you calling the shots would make it easier for him to let loose." Jungwon looks down on his lap as he plays with the rings adorning his fingers. You wouldn't say he has ever been particularly shy per se, not when it comes to discussing your sexual life, even in heavy detail. He was the boy your mother made you take a bath with after a whole day of rolling around in dirt as a kid, because his wasn't around a lot of the time. The same boy who has seen you toothless and with horrible haircuts, who has seen all your embarrassing phases. Talking to Jungwon was much more akin to talking to yourself rather than venting to a diary, because he stored secrets in his heart that you would never be comfortable writing down on paper. Except he also calls you a dumbass when he needs to.
It's been a little different ever since you started dating Sunghoon freshly out of college, but you imagine it can't be helped since Jungwon is also very close to him.
You take a deep breath, shoulders slumping with the motion. Yeah, like that would ever work. "He doesn't give up dominance ever, really. I have tried a few times but…" you trail off, thoughts suddenly plagued with images of Sunghoon putting you back in your place instantly whenever you tried to take charge. You have already given it some thought, a lot of thought, actually. What wouldn't you do to have Sunghoon under you and at your mercy, so responsive to every touch, perhaps even tied down. Yeah, you're gonna have to bring it up more seriously to him, maybe then he would let you—
"Are you seriously fantasizing about dominating your boyfriend right in front of my cheddar fries?"
But you're gonna continue that thought another time.
"Let's see then…" Jungwon continues, evidently determined to find a solution to your problem. "Maybe act out? Would that work? Mhhh… I don't know, you're already very annoying day to day and he puts up with that…so."
Jungwon genuinely looks like he is putting so much thought into it, somehow it makes it more offensive.
"Yeah. And who grew up next to him? You. Exactly. You trained his patience, if anything," you retort, but Jungwon doesn't even give you the satisfaction of acknowledging it, because you both know that you do love to be a nuisance to your boyfriend whenever you get the chance.
"Wait." Jungwon perks up after a seconds of deep thought, making the plushies on your bed fall on the floor, but the situation is so dire that you don't scold him. Instead, you cast a hopeful glance in his direction. Please let his brain cells work for once in his life.
"Isn't Hoon like, terribly jealous every time someone brings up that time you and Jay dated in high school?"
The cogs in your brain turn, and if someone was to walk into the room at that moment they would be able to smell the fumes coming out of your and Jungwon's head.
Jungwon continues, though he doesn't need to, because you have caught what he is hinting to already. "You need him to snap? What better reason to if not some good ol' jealousy. Am I right?"
But of course he is, that little gremlin genius.
"And, it just happens that a few high school acquaintances are organizing a get together soon. You know people will bring up you and Jay, just drag Hoon along. It's fate."
"Have I ever told you that you're my bestest friend ever and that I owe you my life, Won?"
Your plan is not working out as expected.
Getting everyone on board took you and Jungwon some time, but they all eventually agreed to come along. Sunghoon himself was the one with the most reservations, since he moved away halfway through high school and he missed a good chunk of it. Most importantly, he missed how you and the others became friends in the first place, so he's always been a little bitter about it.
Calling it a plan was an overstatement. You wore a skimpy little outfit, black miniskirt and sheer thighs, and bet on someone bringing up how you and Jay used to date in front of Sunghoon. You hoped that would make him jealous enough to grab you and drag you home, maybe teach you a lesson that you would inevitably learn nothing from.
Instead, you get sulky Sunghoon with a beer in his hand, looking at you like a kicked puppy as you and Jay make conversation with your old acquaintances. It doesn't help that Jungwon refuses to pick up his phone so you two can come up with something quick to stir the night towards your desired outcome.
The call goes into voicemail again, and you sigh for the hundredth time that night as you end it and open up his chat to type in another text.
"No answer yet?" Jay asks, smoothing his pink dress shirt. He's always the classier looking guy in the room, no matter where he goes, but the hue of pink he chose for the night makes him stand out further in the sea of swarming bodies.
You shake your head. You're in a quieter corner, away from the thumping speakers, but your throat is sore after all the screaming you did over the deafening music. You thought you would get used to the volume when a few of the people at the reunion suggested moving to a club across the street to end the night with a bang, just like the old times, but it somehow got progressively worse instead.
From your side, Jake puts two fingers in his mouth and whistles to catch someone's attention, and when it doesn't work, Jay laughs at him.
"Sunghoon looks bored, I think we should call it a night," Jay says.
"Bored? He looks like he's gonna murder the next poor soul that steps too close to Y\N," Jake takes a swing of the drink he's holding, something that looks like aged whiskey. Very much unlike anything Jake would order. He hisses after the liquid burns his throat, even when diluted by the melted ice. "Jay, my man, your taste is so ass."
You give the interaction a half hearted laugh. Despite your original plan, you hate seeing Sunghoon so uncomfortable, especially when you know he only came along to make you happy. He insists he doesn't belong surrounded by people who pretend to remember who he is and keep bringing up stuff that happened in the past expecting a glint of recognition from him. You tell him there are multiple people with a similar experience to his even when they attended all years, you tell him he belongs anywhere as long as you and the other guys are there. He tells you those are the people that don't get invited to these sort of events.
"It's getting late anyway, maybe we should just go," you say, checking your notification bar for any sign of life from Jungwon. Still nothing.
"I'll go get Won." Jake throws back the remaining drink, scrunching his eyes and hissing at the bitter taste he still isn't accustomed to.
You take a second to scan your surroundings, and the swaying mass of sweaty bodies makes you nauseous. You used to love getting rocked back and forth by the music, uncaring for a single thing in the world if not the overwhelming love you felt for everyone and everything around you when alcohol buzzed through your system. When you were younger, it felt like ibuprofen for your soul. Now, it only amplifies the hurt in your chest when you think about how heavy this night must have been for your boyfriend.
Before you can make your way to him, someone grabs your attention.
"Jay! And you over there, it's been a while."
You instinctively turn towards the loud voice, finding a vaguely familiar face cockily grinning in your direction.
"She has a name." Jay takes a deep breath and gives you a look, his jaw tense, and that alone is enough to let you know right away the guy in front of you is nothing but trouble.
The guy continues as if you weren't even there to listen to the conversation. A ghost. "Doesn't matter, being your girlfriend is all she was known for back then." He takes a swing of his beer, taste as bitter as his voice. He's very obviously drunk out of his mind, words slurring and step unsteady, but his words annoy you anyway.
"Excuse m—" you try to interject, but he speaks right over you.
"You two back together?"
Jay looks like he's seconds away from punching him, but you simply shake your head no. "Oh! No, and I'm not single actually. My boyfriend's here—" you turn around to look for Sunghoon where you last saw him, and beam when you find him right as he walks up to you. His shoulders relax just the tiniest bit when he notices how relieved you look when you meet his gaze, the way you reserve that look to him only, the way you light up as soon as you spot him. "There he is! Perfect timing, baby."
Sunghoon slides a hand around your waist possessively, placing a soft kiss to your temple to really get the point across. "I was looking for you."
Truth is, he wasn't. He had his eyes on you the entire time, but you were playing with your rings and kept readjusting your clothes as the conversation was unfolding, and Jay looked uneasy too, so he figured nothing good was being said.
"Yeah, sorry! Just catching up with friends from back in the day. Y'know, reminiscing and stuff. Have you seen Won around?" You want to diffuse the situation before the idiot in front of you says anything he might regret. You want Hoon to be a little jealous, not for him to get you all kicked out of a party because someone decided to run their mouth a little too much. Your hand finds his exposed biceps, and it looks like he made the right choice by stepping in, because now that he is all up in your space, you're visibly more comfortable.
Sunghoon shakes his head. Last time he caught a sight of Jungwon in the crowded space was when the night had barely started, and he wore a cowboy hat as he shoved his tongue down some girl's throat. Good for him. "He's probably… catching up with acquaintances too."
You look like you are about to say something, but the nameless guy interrupts you before you get a single word out. It gives Sunghoon all the more reason to dislike him, even before he listens to what he has to says. "And you are? I don't recall seeing you around."
"Oh! Hoon just moved to a different school halfway through high school, but we're all friends," Jay replies instead, familiar with his best friend's feelings about his high school years.
"Then why is he here?"
Sunghoon's jaw clenches. You squeeze his arm as if to remind him you are next to him, and he melts instantly into your touch.
"I'm here because my girl and my friends are. Now if you'd be so kind, we are trying to have a nice night, and you're interfering with that." Sunghoon turns around, holding you against his chest as he starts to make his way to the bar to grab another beer.
"Yeah? You know your friend and your girl used to fuck? Maybe they still do."
Sunghoon was raised to be a patient man. One that counts to ten before reacting, a man who wouldn't even hurt a fly. So it must be the alcohol fueling his actions, because before he realizes what he is doing, he grabs the guy by his shirt, knuckles white as a ghost making the material wrinkle in his hold. "What the fuck did you just say?"
Sunghoon knows he is being provoked, but not even Jay trying to step between them can do anything to calm his anger, not when the poor bastard spits on his shirt, then says something that he really shouldn't have.
"I mean look at her." The man laughs, and it's bitter, filled with something more sinister than mere disgust. It's envy. "Are you surprised? She's dressed like a whore."
Sunghoon moves before you have the time to grab him, right fist colliding with so much force against the man's face, his lip breaks on contact. He wobbles a bit, hit taking him by surprise, but he just gathers the blood dripping inside his mouth and spits it by Sunghoon's feet.
"Hey! Hey." Jay grabs the guy's arm, roughly yanking him back as a crowd of people starts to notice the commotion, heading to take a look at what's happening, a few bodyguards included.
"So tough," the man starts a laughs interrupted by winching when his broken lip curls too much. "Take that out on your so called friend—"
Your voice drowns out the rest of the sentence. "Baby, please."
Sunghoon looks at you, and for a second you doubt he sees you. There's so much anger in his eyes, like he wants nothing more than to rip the little bitch in front of him to pieces. They're almost unfamiliar in a way that send shivers down your spine. You hate the fact that you can't tell if it's fear or lust. But the storm behind his gaze clears out for a second when he sees the alarm on your pretty face, just the one you need. "I wanna go home."
No matter the anger coursing through Sunghoon's bloodstream like venom, thick black poison inciting him to turn back and finish the job, his conscience always prioritizes your well being and what you want. So when you take his hand a make a beeline for the exit, he follows without a single complaint.
The car ride back home is uncomfortably silent.
Sunghoon doesn't hum the random tune playing on the radio like he usually does, he doesn't hold your thigh nor does he even spare you a glance, and you start worrying he might be mad at you.
The words said about you earlier sting, but they don't hold a candle next to Sunghoon's silence. You want to speak up, fill the void that is so uncharacteristically awkward, but the words die in your throat the second you try to push them out.
A ding! followed by your phone screen lighting up signals a new notification, and you swipe through your phone to find out if Jungwon has finally made his existence known.
It's a text from Jay. You notice how Sunghoon's eyes dart to your phone for a split second before going back to focusing on the road ahead, his jaw twitching under the street lights.
00:27 AM. Jongie <3: You guys made it home yet?
00:28 AM. you: not yet, you? did you find the others?
Last thing you heard as you dragged Sunghoon out of the club was Jay arguing with both the still nameless guy and two bodyguards who had been notified of commotion next to the bar. Your main goal was to get your boyfriend the hell out of there before he broke someone's face in, but now that you're away from the mess and the dizziness from the alcohol has started to die down, leaving your muscles and bones tired, you worry for your friends too.
00:29 AM. Jongie <3: Heading back now, Jake texted me he found Won.
00:29 AM. Jongie <3: Wasted, ofc. But apparently Jake's taking care of him now.
00:31 AM. you: don't know if i like the sound of that. will they ever let us back in there?
00:33 AM. Jongie <3: Yeah no chance, Won won't be happy when he finds out.
00:35 AM. you: how did him and jake even get home?
You lock your phone for good after Jay confirms Jake mumbled something about a really nice girl with a great rack driving them home, deciding you'll deal with their bullshit another day, when you're completely sober and not worried about what your unusually silent boyfriend might be thinking.
Just in time for Sunghoon to pull into his driveway. He doesn't remind you to take your bag with you as he always does, he doesn't wait for you to be out of the car before heading straight towards his front door. Truth be told, you're more shocked he didn't just drop you off at your own apartment because now you're really sure he must be upset with you.
It's dumb, really. What that guy said is anything but your fault. But your panicked mind makes up scenarios in which Sunghoon knows you wanted to make him jealous, wanted to get a reaction out of him for something as silly as getting him to properly fuck you. It convinces you he has every right to be upset.
His hand twitches in pain for a second while unlocking the door, dried blood—both his and not—staining his pristine knuckles, and it only aids in making you feel worse. You follow him through the entrance, and he waits for you to walk inside before locking the door for the night. It's now or never.
It takes all the courage you can find within yourself to speak, and still your voice comes out uneven, shaky, things your voice has never been when talking to Park Sunghoon. "I'm really, really sorry."
He turns back to you like you just said the most shocking sentence he's ever heard in his life, and he quickly grabs you by your hips when he notices just how scared you look. He quickly realizes you must've mistaken his silent attempt at calming down his anger at the situation for coldness towards you for some reason, and his heart breaks a little at the thought of having made you doubt yourself. When he answers, it's the softest you've ever heard him. "What for, pretty girl?"
Tears well in your eyes when you fail to find the words. You're sorry for so many things, you don't even know where to start. You're sorry for dragging him somewhere he didn't even wanna be in the first place, sorry for taking advantage of his kindness for your own benefit, you're sorry his knuckles are raw and bloodied just because he had to defend you. Above all, you're sorry for being so damn selfish.
Sunghoon carefully caresses your face with his clean hand, so none of that bastard's blood goes anywhere near your pretty features. His thumb swipes across your bottom lip like it's second nature, silently waiting for you to say what's on your mind. He searches your gaze, but you're too busy trying to not burst into tears right there in front of him, so he lowers his hand to your jaw and gently angles your head upwards.
His eyes are kind and warm, no hint of the searing coldness they held mere minutes ago. "None of what happened today is your fault," he speaks slowly, sincerely. He makes sure every single word leaving his lips is loud and clear, no room for misunderstanding or doubt. Sunghoon is smart, he knows you like no one ever has put in the effort to. "I'm sorry if I made you doubt yourself back there, I should've said something. I'm sorry." He sounds secure and confident in what he's saying, but the little unsteady breath and the sharp swallow that come right after betray him. His hand slightly trembles on your skin, and it makes your heart sink even more.
Something else to add to the list. You're also sorry for making Sunghoon feel guilty over your emotions when he never did anything wrong to begin with.
You still struggle to speak, especially when Sunghoon is looking into your eyes as one would towards the light shining through the water surface after holding their breath in far too long, like it means being able to breathe again. There's a devotion in him you've never seen, something actors on a stage cannot replicate, something you don't think words to describe it have been spoken out yet. Something purely unique to you and him.
When your words fail you, you show him your own devotion in a different way.
There's a medication kit Sunghoon got forever ago solely to patch up Jake and Won whenever their Jake and Won antics get them hurt (very often, comically often). Never in your life would you have imagined Sunghoon to be on the receiving end of the care, but here you are.
Sunghoon follows you wordlessly to the couch, giving no protest when you point to sit down while you take your spot next to him.
The saline stings as you carefully clean the wound, but Sunghoon makes no show of it. You finally have a reason to look at somethings else other than his eyes as you gather your thoughts, but he doesn't lose sight of the frown deepening on your face.
Sunghoon watches you intently through his now messy bangs as you hold his bigger hand in yours as if it were made out of the most precious, frail glass. His fingers are way thicker than yours are, but you brush against his knuckles with the cotton just as softly as he kisses your forehead seconds before you let yourself be taken by slumber in his arms every night. He sees all the expressions fluttering on your face, he gives you the time he knows you need. He knows there's something you need to get off your chest.
When the blood stains the cotton instead of his skin, you speak up, "Does it hurt?"
Sunghoon hums in disagreement, the sound dry in his throat. You press into the raw skin a little harder, earning a low hiss from him. "Don't lie to me. We don't lie to each other."
"We don't, but you're hiding something from me." He stops before continuing, his voice a mere whisper, "what's wrong?"
"You got hurt because of me."
"That's not—"
"Yes you did." And once the river of words tumbling out of your mouth starts, it can't be stopped any longer. "I know how you feel about high school and—"
"It's not that—"
"But it is. I don't care if it was five years ago or ten or fifteen, I know you feel a certain way about it and don't lie to me to spare my feelings because it makes me only feel worse. You feel a way about it and I still went out of my way to take advantage of it for such a stupid reason and now I feel like a fucking idiot. And it also got you hurt."
"Baby," Sunghoon says after a moment of quiet, only filled by your heavy breathing. "Hey."
You busy yourself by grabbing the gauze in the little med kit next to you, but you make the mistake of glancing at him for a second, and the little smile dancing on his lips keeps your eyes glued to the sight.
"It's only a few scratches. What's all this really about?"
"I just… fuck, I'm never living this down." You stretch the white bandage over Sunghoon's wound, wrapping it a few times to fully secure it. You take a deep breath, buying yourself more time by inspecting your boyfriend's fingers like they're the most interesting thing you've ever seen in your life. He playfully taps his index against your palm. It makes you smile despite your best efforts not to. "I just wanted to make you jealous."
You say it so quietly even Sunghoon, barely inches away from you, almost misses it. Almost, because you hear the teasing in his tone loud and clear. "Jealous?"
Cat's out of the bag anyway, so you might as well explain yourself. "Before you say anything, Won gave me the idea."
"Of course."
"I just, y'know. Best friend stuff," you say, as if it's the answer to everything.
"Best friend stuff… as in?" Sunghoon keeps prodding, and the faint smile you hear as he speaks without having to take a look at him simultaneously makes you want to grin and roll your eyes at him. You bite your inner cheek instead.
"As in… complaining about my boyfriend…"
"Oh, you must have so much to complain about."
"Well, for starters, my boyfriend doesn't want to fuck me—"
Sunghoon erupts in a fits of boyish giggles when he finally figures out what's going on, delighted to see how embarrassed you are by this whole ordeal. He grabs you by your hips and sits you right on top of his lap so suddenly you let out a little shriek of surprise. "Trust me, your boyfriend would love nothing more than to fuck you through the mattress."
Your hands rest on his shoulders, and you lower your chest against his, noses brushing each other. "Then what's stopping him?"
Sunghoon's warm breath tickles your lips when he whispers, "Maybe he thinks your pretty little pussy can't take it yet."
A warm feeling travels through your body, settling into your lower abdomen, and just when you think he's gonna kiss you, he pulls back and rests his back on the cushion behind him, sinking further into the soft couch and pulling you down with him.
"Hoon—"
"Mh-mh. You haven't told me what Won's idea was yet."
"You know it." You raise your hand to playfully hit his chest, but he's faster than you are and catches your wrist midway with his injured hand.
"I don't know a damn thing," Sunghoon says as he brings his lips to the back of your hand, letting them brush gently against your soft skin before placing a small peck. "Go on, enlighten me."
You pout, but Sunghoon's set on making you talk, and even though you're stubborn and embarrassed, you know he won't let it go until he's satisfied with your response.
And, the slowly growing hardness under your exposed panties, combined with the residuals of alcohol still buzzing through your system are making it hard for you to stand your ground. Not when Sunghoon looks as good as he does with his bangs messily covering his eyes, and fitted short sleeve highlighting his hard chest underneath the cotton. Unfortunately for you.
You move on his lap, adjusting your position so you can feel more of him through the thin material covering you. You crave the harsh coarseness of his jeans on you, for the heat seeping out of him to envelope you fully. You're on top of him, thighs straddling his, yet you feel the invisible push to be even closer. As close as you physically can be.
Sunghoon sees the hunger in your eyes, he has all this time. He too is barely hanging on by a thread, and the self restraint he's miraculously managed to keep until now is dwindling by the second. All the times you've begged for him, all the times he's fucked your pretty pussy open with different toys, bigger and thicker each time. All the times he's had to take cold showers after seeing the raw need for him to claim you fully reflected in your eyes, even after coaxing orgasm after of orgasm out of you. You're so insatiable, but he might be even worse. Once he gives in, he doesn't think he'll be able to let you go ever.
Sunghoon knows you've felt ready for a long time, and even if he thinks you could use more getting used to bigger sizes before he allows himself to finally sink into you, the temptation gnaws at him all the same.
He just needs a little confirmation.
"Tell me, what was this master plan of yours?" he speaks with his mouth pressed to your palm, softly running his nose down to your wrist, allowing himself to bask in the warmness of the scent you chose for the night.
"Won's, not mine."
"That you willingly agreed to."
"I just… wanted to make you jealous." You finally admit, avoiding Sunghoon's gaze at all costs.
"How so? Wearing this tiny little dress?" His voice is lower, more dangerous. He slides his free hand to grab a handful of your barely covered ass, the skirt having ridden up to your waist almost completely. "You know I like it when the attention's on you. They can look all they want, you're mine." The movement causes you to jerk up against his crotch, earning a low grunt from the man beneath you.
"Tell me, baby," Sunghoon rocks you slowly against his hard bulge, caging his bottom lip between his teeth as he takes in your needy and embarrassed form. "How did you plan to make me jealous? Why?"
Your hand slides down his chest and dips under the thin shirt before caressing just over the waistband of his underwear peeking out of the dark jeans. "I thought it would be a smart idea to drag you along to the get together, and I guess I hoped someone would bring me and Jay up. I know how you feel about it and I wanted to use it to my advantage, but I also didn't consider how you'd feel surrounded by strangers reminding you of all the time you and the guys lost. All the time we lost. You came to make me happy and I was being selfish the entire time. You even got hurt because of me—"
"Not because of you. He should be thankful you were there to stop me or I would've broken his ugly face in."
"Still. I'm so sorry. It was childish."
A beat passes without either of you saying anything, and you twitch uncomfortably in his lap.
"Why?"
Your lip trembles, and your heart sinks at the thought of having angered your angel of a boyfriend. Tears well up in your eyes before you even attempt to explain yourself, but Sunghoon gently angles your chin toward him until you're met with his gaze. It's intense, darker than you've ever seen in all your time knowing him. He searches your face for something, and you realize it's not anger casting shadows behind his eyes. It's pure, unfiltered lust.
"Why did you want me jealous?" His voice is raw, like it pains him to produce a single sound, like whatever you answer him with is the honey that will soothe it.
You twitch again, and this time you're not scared, but your insides twist all the same. He rest heavy and hot under you, and you don't know how you'll handle another rejection if that's what this is leading to.
"I wanted you to fuck me, really fuck me. I hoped it would be enough to push you to the breaking point, Sunghoon.“ You swallow hard, and the saliva in your mouth feels thicker than usual. Maybe it is, maybe you're just more aware of all the sensations within your body. "I need you to break."
It's all Sunghoon needs to hear.
He lurches forward to capture your lips with his, harsh and messy, like an animal that has finally broken out of the restraint keeping it chained. His hands roam all over your body, eager to explore every single inch as if it's the first time he ever does.
You reciprocate him with just as much hunger behind every movement, hands slipping from his body to his hair to pull his head back. You grind your hips against his, moves deliberately slow compared to the feverish kiss. "I need you. I don't wanna wait anymore."
Sunghoon moans into your mouth when you release his hair, and he doubles his efforts, sliding his fingers through the wide gaps of the fishnets covering your thighs, big palms fully working you on top of his bulge.
"You want it so bad, baby?" He says between open mouthed kisses, full lips raw and red from the fight with yours. "I'm gonna give it all to you."
Uncaring for the mess of knocked over stuff you two leave in your wake, from Sunghoon's keys loudly hitting the ground to your heels abandoned somewhere on the carpet, you make your way to his room without ever letting go of each other. All around you is just background noise and things you'll think of later, the only thing that seems to matter is to get in bed and get rid of all the pent up frustration clouding your minds.
The door shuts closed and soon your back hits the bed with a soft thud, Sunghoon's hands heavy on your hips and mouth hot on your neck as he carves a wet path on your sensitive skin, caging you between his hard chest and the mattress. He wraps your leg around his middle, and when your cores touch again, you both sigh in relief.
You've spent all this time on the cusp of finally getting something more, waiting—albeit not so patiently on your part—for the right moment, and now that you both know you're just moments away from it, seconds seem to stretch out into hours and even the slightest teasing feels unbearable.
That's what you think, at least. Because Sunghoon is nothing but a tease at heart, and he has very different plans in store for you.
You take advantage of the little moment of pause to undress yourself, but Sunghoon stops you as soon as he notices what you're trying to do.
"Keep it on," he murmurs along your neck, feeling your pulse quicken right under his full lips. He kisses along your collarbones, to your shoulder, exactly where the strap of your dress rests. His teeth graze the material, and he draws back slightly before letting it snap back into place, the slight sting making you jump just the tiniest bit in his hold. "You wanted to make me jealous in this? Then I'll fuck you in it." He mouths his way back up, until he reaches your ear, teeth gently biting right where he knows it makes shivers spread all over your body. "Next time you wear it, my cock is all you'll be able to think about."
You can't hide the way your body reacts to his words, thighs pressing together from the sheer excitement.
Sunghoon toys with the strings of your fishnets, and for a moment you think you should take them off, but he just rips a hole through them, allowing his hand to finally slide underneath them and grab your ass as harshly as he wants. "These were getting on my nerves."
"I can take them—"
Sunghoon silences you with a kiss, slower than the previous one, calculated and meticulous but every bit as passionate. His teeth sink into your bottom lip until you gasp against his mouth, his tongue gently licking away at your lip to soothe the sting. He pulls your core closer to his, unabashedly moaning into your mouth as he ruts his hips into yours.
The tights start to frustrate you the more he works himself against your panties. You want to be closer, you need to feel him push against you completely, and they're in the way. So once again, you try to rid yourself of them.
Sunghoon keeps you still. "These stay on until I tell you to take them off." His tone is commanding, but not abrasive, muffled by your skin. "Understood?"
You barely nod when suddenly he's bending you at his will like you're his to drag around as he pleases, and while usually you would've fought back just for the sake of it, you play nice this time, doing anything to not have him changes his mind and leave you hanging once again.
He sets you on your knees, facing the headboard of his king sized bed, a sturdy and thick thing, wood carved with elegant loops and twirls all around the edges. They gleam and cast shadows alike when Sunghoon reaches over you to turn on the bedside lamp.
The same hand steadies your hip as he lowers himself onto you, pressing his chest to your back and littering kisses from your temple to your neck. "Aren't you such a cute little thing?" he whispers into your ear, chucking when he feels you shudder under his weight. "So needy and desperate, making up plans just to have my cock in your tight pussy." He's so big, so warm. So strong. It makes your knees weak, and you would crumble on the soft mattress if not for his large hand keeping you still. "Should've just come to me right away, should've begged for my cock like the good girl I know you can be." His other hand starts to travel down your body, and your thighs instinctively spread open to accommodate him.
Pride blooms in Sunghoon's heart. You're so pliant for him, sweetly allowing him to touch you all over, your body responding so well to his slightest touch, to his softest word. The trust you have in him makes his cock harder in his pants, but he's always been a patient man. A man that enjoys taking his time playing with his meal before sinking his teeth into it.
That, and you still have a lesson to learn. "But you've been bad, so bad." He bites your earlobe as his fingers hook onto one of the little holes in your tights, right over your throbbing core, so needy and ready to be claimed by him. You hear a loud rip before you realize what's going on.
His fingers immediately find your panties, slick and stuck to your drooling lips, and he starts touching you over them like all the teasing he's subjected you to until then isn't enough to satisfy him. "You'll make it up to me, yeah? You'll make me proud and happy." He licks along the shell of your ear, and your thighs shake, spreading open once more to coax him into touching you better. "I'll only fuck you when I'm satisfied with how sorry you are."
"Hoon—"
"Don't worry, baby." His fingers dip under the fabric, finally really touching you for the first time that night. He slides two fingers between your lips to coat them in your juices as he keeps talking to you in a tone that almost seems belittling, the pout in his voice too heavy and pronounced for it to be honest. "I'll make it worth it. All the time we waited will be worth it. I just have to get you nice and ready, dripping for me."
You have half a mind to turn around and fight him, because you don't understand how you could physically get wetter even if you wanted to be patient and take it. "I'm already wet," you say, and it comes out a little harsher than you intend for it to.
"Look at you," Sunghoon mocks you, the bite in your response only making him chuckle lowly in your ear, the vibrations from the sound make wetness pool on his digits, much to his amusement. "Can't keep the brattiness in check even when you should feel sorry. How can I take your apologies seriously?"
You open your mouth to answer, but his fingers pinch your clit before you get a single word out, replaced by a shriek that sounds something right in between pleasure and pain.
"Less talking." Sunghoon doesn't stop or lessen his touch on your poor sensitive bundle of nerves. Instead, he rolls it between his fingers, coaxing loud moans out of you with every single movement. "More of this."
The bed creaks under Sunghoon's knees as he detaches from your already quivering form and gets up to grab something. You complain with a little whine at the sudden loss, but just a quick glance in his direction tells you to stay still and be patient.
"Where's your phone?" Sunghoon asks. It sounds a lot more like an order.
"My… huh? My phone?"
"Your phone. Where is it?"
You gawk at him for a second, still in the same position despite the dull ache in your knees slowly but surely setting in, your mouth agape as you try to rack your brain for an explanation as to why the fuck Sunghoon needs your phone since he doesn't seem to be planning on offering you one. "In my bag. On the couch, I think."
It's only a few seconds before your boyfriend returns with your phone in his hand, and throws it carelessly on the bed next to you. He returns to his previous position, the warmth radiating from his body soothing you even when you don't know what to expect next.
You'd be lying if you said you don't enjoy this stricter version of your ever so loving and doting boyfriend, thighs clenching at the thought of the danger lurking behind his sweet demeanor.
"Unlock your phone and open Jay's chat." Sunghoon's calm facade is completely gone, replaced by pure fire.
"What?"
"You heard me." His grip on your thighs tightens, possessive and angry. "You're gonna open Jay's chat and record while I fuck your pussy with my fingers, and you'll have him hear how good I make you feel."
You're breathless, adrenaline pumping through your system and ears ringing at the thought of doing something so obscene, with one of your best friends on the other end of it no less. "Hoon, Jay didn't have anything to do with this… we shouldn't—"
"I don't care." Sunghoon bites your neck, sharp canines poking you just enough to elicit a gasp out of you. "You'll do as I say and tell him you won't ever go back."
He sounds so possessive, so unlike any version of him you have experienced, and just this little taste has you obsessed. You love the soft spoken, big sweetheart he always is, and you love the sleeping beast hidden just beneath the surface too. You love the anticipation of what's to come, not knowing which side of Sunghoon you're gonna get.
Your hand trembles as you reach for the phone, his is sure and steady as it makes its descent down to your wet pussy again. Sunghoon takes his time, letting his fingers ghost on your thighs for a little before sliding the panties off of you. You hear him moan behind you, and you're glad you don't get to see what you suspect is him licking off the wetness off the fabric he just rid you of. That would be way too much for you in the moment, you think.
The Jongie <3 contact in your favorites section seems so silly now that you're mere seconds away from letting him hear how your boyfriend fucks you, so you take a few deep breaths in preparation. As if sensing your hesitation, Sunghoon quickly places a gentle kiss to your temple, and just like that, he's back to his caring self. "You said you're sorry, baby. You should show me, but you don't have to."
You press the voice message recording button moments later, heart thrumming loudly in your ears as you slide your finger up so it keeps recording hands free.
"Such a brave girl. So, so good for me." Sunghoon praises you, and it soothes some of the anxiety you feel, his tone thick and sweet as honey, you barely recognize it as the same one that was giving you harsh commands earlier.
The downright filthy sound of Sunghoon's digits spreading your pussy lips open has you cowering in embarrassment, but your boyfriend doesn't care. He needs Jay to hear how absolutely soaked you are. He wastes no time, pushing in three fingers inside you.
Your mouth is hung open in a silent moan, eyebrows knit together and eyes closed, taking a moment to adjust to the sudden sensation. It stings, even when you're so wet it's dripping down your thighs by now, but his fingers are so long and thick the initial stretch is always uncomfortable, despite all the training.
Sunghoon doesn't like that, so he gives you no time, no warning, and just starts pumping in and out of you, curling the tips just like he does when you're about to cum and need the tiniest push. He's unfair, so unfair, because how are you supposed to keep your sounds down like you planned to when he's finger fucking you like it's his life mission to have you come undone in record time?
You don't know if it's an ego thing, or he just wants to make your punishment that much harder. It must be both, because within seconds you're moaning and gasping out in pleasure for him and Jay so beautifully, really putting on a show for the both of them. But it's so hard to focus and remember what you're supposed to say, and the longer the voice message is, the more mortified you'll be in the morning.
For now, satisfying Sunghoon's thirst for punishment and placating the jealousy you yourself caused is your top priority. You'll think about the consequences another time.
"Aren't you gonna say hi? Where are your manners?" Sunghoon's mouth drops to your ear, the movement of his fingers inside of your cunt relentless and not giving you a single second to breathe properly. It doesn't matter to him, how much harder he's making for you to accomplish your task. He basks in it, even. He's proud of how just his fingers are enough to turn you dumb with pleasure.
"I—mh," you try your best to muffle the moans cascading from your lips, to no avail. Even if you managed to do so, the incredibly loud squelching noises in the background would betray you.
"Need a hand?" he laughs dryly, and you feel the faint presence of a fourth finger next to the other three, waiting to slide in and stretch you open further.
"Hoon!" you gasp in surprise.
"That's right, baby. That's who you belong to. Tell Jay."
"I—I belong to—Hoon! I can't!"
His fourth digit keeps prodding around to find a possible entrance, but you're already so full you think any more would actually break you. "How do you plan to let me fuck you, then?"
He's teasing you. You both know you can and you will. It's just a matter of taking it slowly. His finger is suddenly not trying to inch inside you anymore, despite how lost you both are in the moment, your comfort comes first always. It just means Sunghoon will find another way.
He speaks lowly against your ear, but it's enough for your phone to pick it up clearly, "Once I'll split you open on my cock like you've been begging for, nothing else will ever satisfy you. No one else will. Once I claim your little hole, it's mine. Jay's seen how big I am. He knows it too. Tell him whose pussy I'm about to split open."
"Mine." You gasp at a particularly harsh thrust.
"No. Mine." The sheer command in his voice makes you clench even more around his fingers, as if the fit isn't already tight enough. "Try again."
"Yours! It's yours."
"Good fucking girl." He moans against you, his hot breath rising goose bumps all over your skin. "Tell him you'll never go back to him," he adds after a moment, quieter.
The pace he is fingering you at slows down just enough so you can actually get a coherent sentence out, and you're silently grateful for this little show of mercifulness on Sunghoon's part. If not for this, the voice mail would probably end up being an hour long.
"I'll never—mh. Go back to you."
"Good. So good. Now tell him how happy you are with me, happier than you ever were with him. Tell him you love me," he rasps, high on the reassurance you're providing him. High on how obedient you are for him.
"Love Hoon so much, I love him. I love him so so much. Hoon, please." You're a mess, dripping down onto the bedsheets and clamping around his fingers so hard any more would probably cut Sunghoon's blood flow. The more you grip him, the wider you spread your thighs to accommodate him, like you're silently begging for him to be harsher. He has half a mind to fulfill your body's wordless plea.
"Look at you, spreading your pretty legs for me. You like it when I talk to you like this? Does it make your little pussy wetter?"
You're so tight, so wet, and Sunghoon is so impossibly hard. He could cum right there just thinking about how good you'll feel wrapped around him, walls convulsing and milking him for all he's worth with every orgasm he gives you. For every orgasm you bless him with.
A sight for sore eyes, one Jay will never see nor hear. Because as soon as he can sense you climbing up your high, getting so close, your walls fluttering against his curled up digits in preparation and juices plentifully seeping out of you, he grabs your phone and ends the recording himself.
Sunghoon moves, and suddenly you miss the weight of his chest pressing into your back, but the pace of his fingers inside you slows down again. You wail as you feel the climax you were so close to dissipate, and suddenly you feel like invisible ropes are keeping your front tied to the bed. Your back gives in under the pressure, arching in ways that should be uncomfortable but it's the only outlet other than the plentiful sounds being pushed out of you your body has to ground itself in the midst of all the pleasure.
The loneliness your heart feels whenever he deprives you of his body heat for as much as a few seconds has tiny broken sobs and whines lurch out of your throat, but like every single time, Sunghoon is there to soothe you. "I know, baby, I know. Just let me help you feel good. Yeah?"
Even when you're supposedly being punished, he can't help but go a little easy on you, his gorgeous angel. His spoiled baby. But it's okay, because you did such a good job, listened and obeyed to his every command.
Sunghoon's warm breath tickles the skin of your bottom, and his nose brushes up from your mid thigh to your ass, giving you a playful yet gentle bite on the plushy skin. Air gets stuck in your throat in anticipation, but like every single thing he does, he takes his time in savoring all the moments leading up to finally get your sweet taste to coat his tongue like he's craved for this entire time.
You're twitchy and so responsive in his hold, and Sunghoon is enamored with the sight of your fluttering walls trying their best to suck his thick digits in even more. Greedy little cunt for a spoiled little girl. A perfect match.
He watches intently how you react to every single thrust of his fingers inside you, how your knees shake and body flops forward when he bends the tips in just the right direction when you least expect it. He pushes in deeper, and deeper, until you're gushing on his palm, your essence dripping down his wrist and a few droplets down to his elbow too. He registers your every moan, every beg for more, imprints all your sounds in his memory like they're the dearest ones he's ever made.
Sunghoon remembers all your reactions from times you'd consider unimportant, from the little moan when you first bite into anything he's cooked—whether you really like it not—to the way your leg bounces when following the rhythm of a song you said you despised because they played it on the radio too often, to the way your eyebrow twitches when he mentions a name you haven't heard before.
When you catch him with that sweet look in his eyes, staring at you with a toothy grin and canines peeking out, it's because he's watching you and storing everything in his mind, no matter how mundane, no matter how dumb, no matter how silly. It's a no brainer he'd do this in times like these too, even when he's witnessed you come undone under his gaze plenty of times, he doesn't want to miss a single one.
It's not really about learning what brings you pleasure faster and what prolongs it, he's familiar with all of that already, Sunghoon just happens to really enjoy watching you, even if you think it's the most embarrassing thing in the world.
So he does exactly that, inspects you carefully as he keeps fucking you open with his fingers, taking guesses about how hard or deep he should make his pumps, pride blooming in his chest—and cock throbbing in his pants—when you react exactly like he expects. While usually he watches you with a lovesick smile, the grin on his face and fiery glint behind his eyes are different now, hungrier and needier, but every bit as obsessed.
Because that's exactly what Sunghoon is, deeply and unashamedly obsessed with you.
He builds your orgasm up again, brick by brick, flick of his wrist by flick of his wrist, until you're quivering and shaking and begging him to not take it away this time.
"Please," you moan, hand clenching onto the bedsheets beside you so hard you'll be shocked if by the end there won't be a hole ripped in them. "I'm so close."
Sunghoon notices how you hold onto your orgasm, waiting for his approval. It makes his hips twitch forward involuntary, eager to please and eager to give you anything you want. "I got you baby, let go. Let me hear the pretty sounds you make when you cum for me."
It's all it takes for the coil in your stomach to completely snap, and the second your warm walls flutter around Sunghoon's fingers for the first time, you feel a sense of emptiness that lasts only a moment, before you're full again. It's not as thick, shorter but so much wetter, and through the thick fog clouding your mind as your body is overtaken by uncontrollable shivers spreading from your core to every extremity of your body, you realize he just replaced his fingers with his tongue.
Another lightning strike shoots right through you, head to feet, as Sunghoon keeps fucking you through your orgasm with his tongue. You're still fluttering around it and releasing all of your juices right into his awaiting mouth when the ringing in your ears slowly fades, replaced by the downright obscene sounds of Sunghoon slurping up all he can get out of you. It's messy and nasty, the lower half of his face completely coated in your essence but he doesn't care. He wants more.
He moans into your pussy like he's the one being pleasured, and once that single second of bliss between fully coming down from an orgasm and overstimulation setting in goes by, he pulls you in closer when you start moving too much. You're still too sensitive, but if Sunghoon thinks you're greedy, you have to realize he's even worse. Feeling the dull throbbing of your walls as you come around his tongue one time just isn't enough. If it were up to him, he'd have you wet his mouth again and again until you physically can't withstand any more. Until you're barely coherent and slipping into a peaceful sleep, completely tired out.
Sunghoon grabs a handful of your ass with his still dripping hand as he licks a stripe down from your hole into your lips, spreading them open with his tongue to find your clit, throbbing and raw from your previous orgasm. He rolls it between his lips, toys with it with his tongue, uncaring for the way your body pushes away from his mouth. After all the begging you did, you have no business running from it, if you ask him.
"Stay still," he growls into you, both of his hands tied together on your lower back as he fully pushes you down on the mattress with his strength, leaving you nowhere to go, nowhere to hide. He nuzzles his face into you, enveloping all he can get with his warm mouth, sighing and groaning contently with every bit of wetness you gush right on his tongue.
He explores every inch of you, every nook and cranny he can get into, cleaning you up with each lick and wetting you even more with every other. "So fucking good," he moans into you, dragging you back against him when you think you can't physically be closer, when the tip of his nose pushes into your hole and when the only way he has to breathe is through his mouth which is full of you. He pants and gasps against your cunt so much you fear he might suffocate himself just to not come up for air a single time.
Your own face is pushed against the bed, mouth biting down on the cotton fabric beneath you to ground yourself in the immense cloud of pleasure Sunghoon is giving you. He's so lost in your taste he doesn't even remind you to not muffle your sounds, the only thing in his mind is to have you come undone on his mouth once more.
Sunghoon knows he's close to his goal when your little pained whines start turning into longer, more drawn out moans, when you stop running away from his tongue and instead start thrusting yourself back into his hold, back into his mouth. All your senses are ablaze, nerve endings lit and confused but so pleased at the same time. You yourself don't know when the it stopped hurting and became that dull, impending feeling of almost there to something more that both maddens you and keeps you hooked, but you roll your hips anyway in search of just the little nudge in the right direction your body violently craves.
Like always, Sunghoon knows exactly what you need.
"Go on, baby. Touch your little clit for me." His voice is full and rich of that low gravel you barely get to hear, but that has tingles run down your body when you do. "Help me make you cum." Sunghoon lets his tongue run back up from your clit to your slit again, inching closer to your throbbing hole as you let a hand sneak under your body to your pussy, immediately finding your sensitive bundle of nerves.
You're so drenched by now you don't need to wet your hand before drawing circles all over it, dragging it in all the directions you know have your toes curl. Sunghoon likes it messy though, so he gathers a glob of spit and loudly releases it on your cunt, the position making it dribble down right where your hand is working to bring you closer to your peak.
The onslaught of wetness pooling down only adds to the already embarrassingly loud noises coming from your cunt, and you're so wet, your own fingers slip a few times. It doesn't help that your arm shakes under you even when pinned down by your entire body weight when Sunghoon shoves his entire tongue down your hole again, using both of his hands on your lower back to move you so you're fucking his muscle as if it were a toy. His nose drags on your perineum with every movement of your bottom half against his face, and under any other circumstance you'd be mortified, but Sunghoon has a way of soothing you in the most embarrassing situations without really having to do anything but be there with you, like nothing matters in the grand scheme of things when his body is heating yours.
You speed your movements up to match the pace he sets, and with every thrust of his tongue combined with every flick of your wrist, you feel the band in your lower tummy stretch and warm up, until your sight turns searing white and warmth envelops your body from your core to all your limbs in rhythmic waves, first every other second, and then gradually slowing down.
You release on Sunghoon's tongue, and he wastes no time, gulping down all he can manage to, moaning into your heat like he's tasting the most divine nectar. You can't see it as you're busy catching your breath and slowing down your heartbeat as the rush of pleasure dissipates into a calmer buzzing felt all over your body, but Sunghoon's eyebrows crease in the middle, his eyes closed as he commits the taste of your cum to his memory, right beside all the indecent bits of you he treasures in his mind.
Sunghoon pulls his tongue out of you, already missing the way you flutter against it when you come undone, and leaves a trail of pecks all over your bottom, first on the plush of your ass still kept up by his strong hold despite you having completely given up on keeping yourself upright long ago, then all over your thighs, switching from one to the other as he runs a reassuring hand all over your skin, wordlessly soothing you. His palms are big and thick on your thighs as he moves to wrap his hands to the front, steadying you one last time to capture your clit in a gentle suckle, just enough to have your body convulse in overstimulation, but too tired and spent to fight back.
He pulls off of you with a pop after hollowing his cheeks around it one last time. "Did so good for me, baby. You're so perfect."
Without Sunghoon's hands keeping you up, you slump on the bed, completely this time, groaning when the burn in your lower body fully sets in now that you can move it again. It's dull and persistent, and especially fiery right where Sunghoon's hands stayed locked for most of it.
"You okay, pretty? Was I too rough?" He sounds concerned when you take longer than usual to regain your strength, his hands immediately roaming all over your body to massage any sore spot. His touch is light like a breeze but welcome like the sun on a spring day, warming up all the knots in your muscles. The dangerous edge seems to have completely evaporated, only leaving your sweet boyfriend behind. In the moment, it's exactly what you need.
You give him a vague sound of approval in response, but you know it's not enough for him when he gently maneuvers your body around to face him, holding you so carefully one would think him scared of damaging you.
The warm light shining from the night stand casts shadows on his face, but the slight concern etched on his features is bright as day. It's an intimate moment, and you'd giggle because of the sheer difference in his behavior if you had the energy to do so. Instead, you reach for his hand. The same hand that held a bruising grip on you just moments before, the same hand that hit the man who disrespected you.
Sunghoon returns you touch right away, locking your fingers with his as if second nature. You place a featherlight kiss on them, allowing your lips to linger on his salty skin as you speak. "I'm great. Perfect even." It comes out a little raspy, like you haven't fully caught your breath yet, but it's a start.
"Yeah. You are."
"And you? You doing okay?"
Sunghoon gifts you one of his cannot-possibly-contain-it smiles, the ones where he looks down for a split second as his eyes crinkle and somehow smile wider than his lips do. Your favorite kind of Sunghoon Smiles you'd say in the moment, though if you were to compile a list they would all be in the number one spot.
"Perfect, even."
"Hey, that's my line—" you start, but Sunghoon finishes your sentence for you.
"—Don't steal it."
You hum, the taste of skin still on your lips as you bask in the moment for a little, neither of you daring to break the peaceful quiet that wraps like a fuzzy blanket around you. Sunghoon flinches just the tiniest bit when your fingers graze the bandaged scratches, making you ease up your hold on his hand. He immediately squeezes yours to tell you it's okay.
"You know," you say after you let the silence linger for a few more seconds, only your heartbeats and shallow breaths filling the air in the dimly lit room. "You look really hot when you're mad."
Fits of giggles pour in the almost nonexistent space between you—first Sunghoon's, yours following suit.
"I must look super hot when I'm jealous then," he says with that teasing edge in his tone you're all too familiar with. He dips down to catch your lips in a slow kiss, suckling on your bottom lip gently, the corners of his mouth still raised. He hasn't stopped smiling once.
"Absolutely," you say before Sunghoon pecks you again, and then keeps doing it as you try to continue. "And when you're happy—" another peck. "And when you're bored." Another peck. "And when you're—sorry if I say this but you look like a cute kicked puppy—sad.
"So you're gonna keep finding ways to make me jealous, I assume."
It's not meant to be a jab, you know he's being playful. But it stings you just in the right way, and suddenly you're in the passenger seat of Sunghoon's black Bentley again, worrying about having hurt his feelings past redemption.
Like all things you, Sunghoon catches it right away.
"Hey there, it's okay. I'm not upset, baby." Sunghoon's hands are secure around your hips, his thumb running soothing circles on your skin while your arms wrap around his neck, pulling him closer because it's simply never enough.
"You should be. You're too nice."
Sunghoon presses his lips on your fluttering lashes. "You being a little brat is nothing new. I think I know how to handle you pretty well, don't I?" His breath, minty but also vaguely bitter from the beer still, warms your cheekbone. Sunghoon's proximity to you is intoxicating in ways no amount of alcohol could ever be, and you hate beer, but god, what wouldn't you do to taste it off of his lips for the rest of your life.
Whoever is up there must be gracious because your prayers are answered the very next second, with Sunghoon ghosting his lips on yours, looking at you with tenfold the intensity and fire from earlier, like someone drenched the space behind his eyes with gasoline and lit it up without you noticing it. The switch is so sudden, and by now you should be used to this, but you don't think you ever will. Not when your boyfriend is looking at you like he might devour you whole any moment, and you'd let him. You'd love to let him.
"Act out all you want," Sunghoon says, voice dripping in possessiveness, right against your awaiting mouth. You want to swallow every last bit of it. "Go out there in short little skirts barely covering your ass. Make up all the silly plans you want, even ones where Jay's involved. Let everyone get a good look at you because that's all they'll ever fucking get." His hand reaches for your inner thigh, then folds it to give himself better access. His bulge is heavy and hard against your bare core, the weight of it enough to have you shiver and mewl, but when Sunghoon starts grinding his hips into yours, the noises spill out of you like you have no control over them. "At the end of the night, after you've had your fun, you'll always come back to me. In my bed, soaking my pants with your little pussy because you only get wet like this for me."
It's embarrassing how fast you feel like you could come again, but Sunghoon's hard thickness slides so perfectly over your folds even through the fabric, and the harshness of his jeans catches your clit every so often in such a delicious way. His pants are soaked through in your essence, both of you moaning and panting in each other's mouths so messily you don't even know if it could be classifies as a kiss or a mere exchange of spit.
"You're mine," Sunghoon rasps, like his life depends on it. He fumbles with his pants, depriving you of the mouth watering friction. You make a few noises of complaints, but his teeth are quick to sink into your bottom lip to silence them. "A spoiled little brat. But mine."
The heaviness of him finds your dripping core again, this time so much warmer, only his underwear separating your most sensitive parts from touching. It's the closest you've ever been to feeling his cock on you, and it's overwhelming. Electricity shocks run through your body when he starts moving his pelvis against you, completely coating the already damp material with the mix of your arousal and release. He's not unaffected—his own precum shows up right where the little slit in his tip is, the fabric of the boxers a darker shade of gray there.
"Mine to love, mine to discipline, mine to train. Mine." You don't know wether the hoarseness coming from his throat is due to the anything but proper activity you two are partaking in or simply the raw need for you to really let his words sink in, but the effect it has on you is clear. The proof is right where your cores meet.
You tentatively roll your hips into his, movements emboldening when you earn a few low grunts from him.
"This pussy is gonna be mine too now. Mine to worship and please. Mine to fuck open like she never has been before. I'm gonna ruin you for everyone else. You want that, right?"
You nod frantically, your hips running after Sunghoon's in a relentless chase, like they have a mind of their own.
"Say it. Say you want me to ruin your little hole."
"Ruin it—Hoon, please."
His hips falter when he hears just how desperate you sound, his eyebrows scrunched up in the middle and you can tell he's biting down on his tongue to ground himself. It only encourages you.
You reach for his boxers, wrapping your hand around the outline of his bulge and trying to contain your facial expressions at the reminder of just how ridiculously large he is. You squeeze it with your palm, his eyelids fluttering closed and his chest heaving from your touch alone. You try not to think too much about how outrageously wet the fabric is, all thanks to you. "Please, I need to feel you inside," you beg, arms pushing your tits—now basically spilling out of your dress—together and looking up at him with the most innocent doe eyed expression you can muster up.
Sunghoon's jaw leaps, and you feel like under a microscope as he watches you. "Little minx you are." He reaches for the first drawer of his night stand, rummaging though it quickly before pulling a tiny bottle out of it. It's lube.
"I don't need—"
Sunghoon silences you by spitting right on your pussy, your complaint turning into a whimper at the contact. "You do, baby. You need all the help you can get." Complaining more will get you nowhere but tucked into bed, still needy, horny and with a wet pussy, so you decide to play your cards cleverly and let him do his thing.
You paw at his boxers, fingers dipping into the waistband and trying to tug them down to get to the prize hidden behind. You spread your legs open even more as Sunghoon rips a larger hole into your tights, the veins running down his arms slightly bulging from the effort.
The sudden coldness of the lube dripping down on your puffy folds surprises you enough to rip a little yelp out of you, and Sunghoon's wide palms find their rightful place on your thighs, pushing them against your hips and lower stomach. He takes a good look at your cunt, spreading you open to his liking and leaving no inch of your skin hidden from his sight. "Such a pretty pussy." Your joints still ache and burn from all the exertion they already endured, but Sunghoon's words are like a soothing balm for your body and mind. "Prettiest cunt in the whole fucking world, all wet and ready for me to fuck."
You finally manage to free his cock fully, despite his filthy words sending waves of weakness through your body, and immediately wrap your palm around the middle, mouth watering when your thumb doesn't reach your other fingers. Not only is it way longer than average, it's also thick beyond comprehension, perfectly curved to hit all the right spots in you and so fucking veiny you can feel more slick pour out of you in anticipation. You quite literally cannot stop gawking at it, trying to move your hand up to his tip, just as thick if not thicker than the base, and you gulp as you watch beads of semi transparent liquid pour out of it.
"What is it, baby?" Sunghoon asks, Adam's apple bobbing up and down as he tries to not buck his hips into your hand. "We can stop if you want."
"No!" Your grip around him tightens, earning a gasp and a shallow thrust from him. Your thumb swipes over the head to spread his need all over, making it easier for you to slowly jerk him off. "Please," you add, quieter, afraid he might take the opportunity away from you.
The sight of you laying down so prettily with your much smaller hand enveloping his length, has all the blood in Sunghoon's body rush straight to his groin. He could cum at any moment, just from having you right in front of him like this, but he's set on making it worth the wait.
"You're so fucking hot like this." His hand finds your cunt again, fingers spreading your folds open so he can take a good look at the sensitive bud he loves so much, finding it so swollen he wishes to just bend down and suck on it again.
Once the lube fully coats his digits, he brings them down to your hole again, prodding it just enough to make sure it's slick with the cold essence. He squirts more of it right onto his cock while you keep fisting him as best as you can, spreading the lube all over it until all that can be heard in the room is the loud squelching noises and both of your heavy pants and low groans. His fingers keep rubbing your folds, coaxing more of your own arousal out of you, the feeling so distracting the pace you set on his cock falters a bit. To compensate, you add your other hand too, milking him with both at the same time.
"Fuck yeah, just like that," Sunghoon moans, and he looks divine above you with his lip caught between his teeth, gaze flickering from where his hips have started fucking into your fists, to where his fingers are playing with your pussy, like he cannot decide which view is best.
His cock throbs in your hands every time your hold tightens or your movements get faster, and you're stuck watching every reaction. His chest heaves, sometimes he looks like he forgets to breathe and then he has to make up for it. His cheeks are flushed, and when you notice how his bangs are sticking to his forehead because of the sweat accumulating on his hairline, you suspect he might be close.
"Gonna come?" you ask, battling your lashes at him, hoping he'll do just that from your hands alone. That's enough to wake him from his daze, and you almost regret asking when he breaks free from your hold and stops playing with your pussy.
The disappointment is short lived, because without wasting any time, Sunghoon brings your legs close together around his cock and sets both of your feet on one of his shoulders. He fucks your thighs just like that, with slow thrusts, making sure to slide his cock between your folds and let you feel every single vein running down his length. "You'd love that wouldn't you? Me coming all over your pussy. You're so fucking messy."
The shirt still covering his torso leaves close to nothing to the imagination now, clinging to every ridge of his abs and chest because of the sweat, and you're basically drooling at the sight. The feeling of Sunghoon's cock between your thighs and on your cunt is too much for you already, clit throbbing with need every time his tip catches on it, balls pushing against your hole every now and then, but you make the mistake of looking down when his thrusts get faster, and the view you're met with has you absolutely obsessed.
The head of Sunghoon's cock peeks out from your thighs every time his hips move forward, red and leaking so fucking much on your lower tummy it looks like he's cumming all over you already. But then it just keeps going, reaching close to your belly button, and when his head rests right on it, your mouth goes slack. It's one thing to see how big he is normally, but to have it compared directly against you, it makes the room spin in circles and your body feel even weaker. You need him inside you now.
"You like the view, baby? That's how deep I'm gonna be inside you, how deep I'll be fucking you," Sunghoon laughs, a little manically, and you hate how much it turns you on, like you need to be any more than you already are. "You'll feel me riiight here." He stops his thrusts to tap his cock on your stomach, the sounds of the tiny slaps reverberating through the room. "All up in your guts."
You gasp out his name when his hips go back to working his cock between your thighs, in an attempt to get his attention, but he already knows what you want.
"I know, baby. I know. Just a little more I promise." His gaze flicks up to meet yours, watching you intently for any sign of discomfort, any indication that you might want to stop. He knows it's unlikely—Hell, he's sure you were about to beg him to fuck you for the nth time that night just now—but he needs you to be absolutely sure. The weight on his chest, the slightest hint of uneasiness looming over him despite all the excitement fades in the background when all he finds on your face is pure lust, unfiltered need for him.
The pace slows down a little, and Sunghoon keeps eye contact with you as he speaks with his full lips brushing the skin of your ankle, giving you a few kisses there to ease up any anxiety you might feel. "Are you sure, pretty? We can wait a bit more. We don't have to—"
"Hoon. For the love of God just put it in or i might actually die within the next two minutes."
An amused wheeze tickles your skin, followed by a gentle nibble right where his lips kissed you. He rests your legs back down while he still kneels on the bed "Alright, alright."
He's spent all this time preparing you, telling you to take it slow for your own well being, but as you watch the way his eyes hesitantly shift focus around your body, you think maybe he's not the one ready yet. "Hoon?" you catch his attention, voice meek but it's like music to his ears, always.
Sunghoon hums in acknowledgement, but he looks deep in thought. His thumb follows the ridge of your jaw to your chin, then swipes over it a few times as if to encourage you to continue.
"Are you sure you want to do this?"
"Had a change of heart? Weren't you just about to die a few seconds ago?"
"I'm asking you."
He exhales, then bends down to place a soft kiss right on your parted lips. "Of course I'm sure. I'm just…" He trails off, but you already know what he's thinking.
"You won't hurt me," you say, keeping eye contact to really get the point across. "Besides, even if you did. I'd enjoy it a bit."
The corner of his lips lift up, and you know you've finally cracked through him. "I suppose you would."
His elbow rests by your head, while his other hand grabs his cock and gives it a few pumps in preparation—not that he needs it, Sunghoon doesn't think he's ever been this goddamn hard in his entire life. "Give me a few taps anywhere if you want me to stop, if it helps you can bite me when it hurts." He positions himself, hand still guiding his tip to your leaking entrance, but doesn't push in just yet. "Where should I cum?"
You're about to lose your mind, hips slowly rolling against his tip to try to coax it inside of you and he's still talking instead of doing something about it. "Huh?"
"Where do you want my cum baby? You won't be able to talk when I'm fucking you."
The sheer seriousness in his tone has shivers run down your spine, but you don't dwell on it too long. "Inside. Anywhere you want just please—Oh my god."
The sting of his tip slowly pushing in stops you from finishing your sentence. It's a mild discomfort for now, but the feeling of it stretching you open is better than any of the toys you and Sunghoon experimented with could've ever provided. He's just getting started, but your mouth is already ajar, and more wetness seeps out of you when your boyfriend rewards you with the most beautiful moan you've ever heard.
"God, it's like she's begging me to slam all the way in." His thumb swipes over your clit in circular motions to help you ease up so the first few inches aren't too harsh on your poor drooling pussy, and even though the tip isn't even the entire way in, the sight of his cock slowly disappearing inside your heat quickly shoots up to his favorite spot. "Deep breaths baby, remember what I taught you—No, don't tense up, it's okay. You've got this."
Your eyes roll all the way to the back of your head, pleasure and discomfort blending into one slowly as he waits for you to adjust. How are you supposed to not clench around him when he's encouraging you like this? It's beyond you.
Your hand shoots to grab Sunghoon's muscular biceps when he starts moving again, and he stills right away, waiting with bated breath for the taps to come.
They don't.
"Is it all in yet?" you ask, because truly, you feel so fucking full already, fuller than you have ever been. But the amused look on Sunghoon's face tells you exactly what you need to know.
"I mean." He moves a little more, and the burning—even if eased up a bit by all the juices and lube coating both of you—resumes. "A little more than the tip is."
"The tip?"
"The tip." Sunghoon thrusts out gently before pushing in again, both of you moaning at the same time. "I can fuck you with just that, it's enough to make you come harder than you ever have." He doesn't wait for you to tell him what to do, opting to give you shallow thrusts to test the waters, his thumb never parting from your clit.
The way you shudder and the little sweet sounds you make because of his tip alone has his stomach knot in all kinds of ways and his cock leap and throb so much it fucking hurts. Sunghoon would want nothing more than to shove it in and claim you fully, mold your pussy around his girth so perfectly no one else would ever be able to give you a cock half as good as his—like he would let that happen in the first place.
You're writhing under him, legs kicking a little when he feels the slide in and out slowly get more comfortable and slippier. That doesn't mean you're not clenching around him so hard he could cum at any given moment, but for your own pleasure—and his, really. He wants to shoot his load as deep as he possibly can—he tries to hold off to the best of his capabilities.
But fuck if it's not the hardest thing he's ever tried to do.
He almost breaks when your own hand reaches down for the one working on your pussy, smaller palm attempting to cover the back of his and to coax it into moving faster. There's a bit of drool on the corner of your lips, and you look so wrecked already, Sunghoon hates how a shiver runs down his spine at the mere thought of how you'll look like when he's balls deep inside you. "Hoon—fuck. I want more."
He coos at you, pretending he's not a wreck himself, pretending the thread thin sliver of sanity he has left isn't the only thing preventing him to fold your legs all the way up to your chest and fuck you into oblivion, but the arm next to your head shakes with restraint, and the knuckles on his fist are ghostly white by now, even if you're too blissed out to pay attention. His voice is shaky, uneven, but his words are careful and patient, even when you'd rather them not be. "We gotta get your pretty parts used to it first baby, come like this just once, it's only the last stretch."
Your whines turn into moans when his movements on your clit fasten and his tip nudges inside you a little deeper, just enough to momentarily satisfy your craving for more.
"Aren't you a greedy little thing," Sunghoon rasps, holding back his own impending orgasm with all his strength, beads of sweat now rolling down his neck deliciously, and you kinda wish you could bend forward and lick them off of him. "Asking for more, and more, and more after the stunt you pulled today. My pretty baby," his thumb pushes more forcefully on your bud, making it hurt so good for a second as you adjust to the pressure, then giving you harsher drags, meant to have you come undone and quivering under him in no time. "So desperate for cock you just had to go ahead and try to make me jealous. You like it when I'm jealous?"
You gasp, nodding frantically as you feel the familiar knot in your stomach tighten more and more, an embarrassing amount of slick pouring out of you and running downwards.
"You're so fucking lucky this is the first time we do this," his voice is rough, an octave lower than usual. "Or I would've bent you over and fucked you so silly the second we got home without stretching your pretty pussy open. But I'm so kind. Thank me for it."
You clench hard around him at his words, toes bending because you don't know what else to do with all the pleasure coursing through you, and he gives a gorgeous deep groan in response. "I'm gonna—"
"Then thank me for it."
You come around him hard, harder than you ever have, thank you's pouring out of your lips like a broken prayer, entire body shaking head to toe from the intense orgasm. The buzz in your ears persists for a while as you try to come down from it, and you can see but it feels like you can't, like your brain isn't registering any of the images your eyes capture. Bright, static, dark spots, so many things at once. It feels like you blacked out for a second even if you didn't, all your senses dulled to make space for all the other sensations your climax provides.
When you slowly start to regain power over them, you're met with the sight of Sunghoon panting like a dog, eyes closed and fist wrapped around his cock, the head poking out and redder than you've ever seen it, looking like he just ran a fucking marathon. Somehow, he managed not to cum. He was so close though, so close he had to pull out the second your walls started to involuntary flutter around him or he would've been done for.
The tight black shirt is still clinging to him like a second skin, and the first coherent thought of yours after the fog around brain clears is to get him out of it as soon as you can. You tug at the hem, still panting and blood buzzing from the release. "Off."
Sunghoon doesn't answer you with words, but he rips the shirt off his torso, throwing it somewhere on the floor behind him. His hands are shaky as they travel from your waist to your hips, then reaching your thighs, spreading you open further in front of him and allowing him to take a look at the big mess you—both of you, really—made. Sunghoon's cock is rock hard, tip oozing enough precum to make all the prep you've endured so far pointless. (Not really, you know better than that.)
Sunghoon goes back to nudging his tip on your hole, just holding it there without pushing in quite yet, casting a last questioning glance your way because he needs the reassurance that you're okay with this one last time before he fully commits.
When you nod, he slowly eases himself back into you with a low moan accompanying the motion, this time his gaze holding yours. The face you make as his tip stretches you open makes it a hundred times harder for him to keep his chill, wanting nothing more than to say fuck it and pound you stupid like you've been begging him to do ever since things first got handsy between you two.
The burn isn't nearly as bad as it was the first time, leaving space for so much more pleasure to course right through you, and you can't help the relieved sigh that leaves you when his tip is fully back inside you again, like it's a need for you to be filled by it. And Sunghoon sees that. He sees the fire in your eyes, the greediness slowly pooling behind those pupils he loves so much, how your hips look for his even if taking any more in hurts.
His hips jerk forward more than he intends them to, but he can't help it, not when you're looking at him like he's the prey. More of your wetness coats him, and both of you loudly moan into the night.
"You feel so fucking good, baby," Sunghoon whines, actual tears filling his waterline because he can't believe how much you're gripping him, pussy fluttering around his girth with every little bit he pushes forward, welcoming him like no one has ever done. "Tightest little pussy ever."
The hold on your thighs is bruising, but it helps you stay at least a little grounded so you wouldn't have it any other way. Whenever you think you're too full and cannot possibly take anymore, you feel a little more of Sunghoon's cock slide in you, so you get on your elbows with what little strength you have left and take a look for yourself. He's barely halfway in, and the burning sensation is starting to set in again. It hurts, but it hurts so good, you need more and you need less at the same time.
"Yeah, that's right, angel. Watch how your greedy needy cunt swallows me." Sunghoon's eyebrows are creased, sweat now not only dripping from his scalp, but little droplets constellating his broad chest, following the paths preset by his sculpted physique, all the way down to his vline. A mouthwatering sight.
"So full," you sigh, eyes never leaving from where you're connected, clit throbbing the more he fucks his cock into you, begging for a lick of attention.
"You'll be so much fuller. Can you behave and handle that for me, mhh?"
You bite down on your bottom lip, nodding along to his words and sneaking down your hand to play with your clit when you come to the conclusion that Sunghoon's hands are way too busy gripping your plushy skin like his sanity depends on it.
"Smart girl," he praises.
The wetter you become, the easier and more pleasurable the slide is. Sunghoon watches you for any sign of unbearable discomfort, slowing down when you bite your tongue or picking his speed back up when you bless him with those precious needy whines of yours. "You're doing so well, my gorgeous girl. So fucking amazing, making me feel so good already, God, you're perfect."
His words of encouragement play a big part in easing the pain for you, soothing you enough to make it easier for you to not tense up when his cock nudges a particularly sensitive spot inside of you. Your hand flies to your lower belly and you swear you feel him right there, so much deeper than you've ever had anyone—or anything—be.
"There we go," Sunghoon puffs out like he's been holding himself back from breathing this entire time, his pelvis grinding against your folds deliberately. And you finally realize he's all the way in for the first time ever. "Squeezin' me so tight, are you scared I'll run away?" He pulls back a bit before fully thrusting inside again, the curve of his cock aiding in making him hit all the right spots you could've never reached yourself. "No fucking chance. Not after I've got a taste of this. Gonna fuck your pretty pussy open every fucking night, until I've trained her to take me in without any complaints."
He sets a slow pace, not wanting to overwhelm you just yet, then adds, in a softer tone, "Does it hurt too bad, baby?"
If he keeps the back and forth up for much longer, you're gonna end up getting whiplash. But between groans and higher pitches sounds, you manage to answer him. "Any more and you would've popped me like a balloon."
Sunghoon giggles as he bends down to capture your lips in a sweet kiss, hands finally loosening his grip on your legs and traveling all over your body. "You begged, and begged and—"
"I'm not complaining, am I?" you ask, breaking the kiss and resting your forehead on his, the saliva string connecting you two shining under the warm light of the lamp. "Harder."
Sunghoon complies instantly, speeding up his movements and giving you actual thrusts instead of the messy mix of grinding and nudges he'd taken a liking to. His hot, wet mouth finds your neck, too greedy and selfish, in desperate need of hearing the beautiful sounds you make instead of swallowing them down. His tongue skates over your pulse point, a shiver traveling down your entire body when he gives you the lightest nibble right there before licking it up again in apology.
"I can still taste you in my mouth." His breath tickles the wet skin of your neck, your front arching into his when goosebumps appear all over your exposed arms. "Always want to—mh, taste it. You'll let me eat your pretty pussy again after you gush on my cock?"
Even if you want to reply, you really can't, not when the pace he's drilling into you at is knocking the air out of your lungs, and the bolder his movements get, the more you understand why he asked where he should cum before even staring. You want to look at him, take in every expression on his beautiful face, but the pleasure is too much to handle and the only thing that seems to help is closing your eyes and letting them roll back into your skull.
Your lips are raw from all the biting, and you're so incredibly thankful when Sunghoon's hand swats yours away from your clit to replace it, allowing you to sink your fingers into his broad shoulders, clawing at them with every languid thrust he gives you. He feels so perfect, filling you up to the brim and then some more, stretching you out so fucking good you suspect you won't ever be able to scratch the itch if not with his cock.
"I'm in love with this fucking pussy, baby," he moans, loud and unapologetic, making his way with open mouthed kisses down your neck, then following the line of your clavicle, only to dip down between the valley of your breasts. Your tits have spilled out of the tiny little dress due to bouncing around with every precise thrust Sunghoon gave you, and your nipples are perky and hard, begging for his attention right in his face.
"And your tits, fuck. So pretty, I'm gonna eat you right up." He licks a stripe on one of your hardened buds before enveloping it fully between his lips and sucking on it lightly, sighing contently into it when you push your tits on his face further, loud whines spilling out of you.
The very familiar band in your tummy starts to tighten again the more he works on your nipples and clit at the same time, thrusts never once faltering. All of your senses are heightened to such a degree you don't even know what to do with yourself anymore if not lay under Sunghoon and let him absolutely ravage you, not a single thought but 'feels so good' crossing your mind. But it's fast, too fast, and you want it to last for longer, want Sunghoon to keep fucking you for hours until the only word you remember is his name.
You try to push his hand away from your clit, only earning a reprimanding yet gentle bite on your nipple, a warning. "I c-can't."
"Can't what, pretty girl?" He rolls your nipple between his lips, lapping away the tingling sensation the nibble left on it that has you jolt in his hold. "Use your words."
You throw your head back in frustration, feeling the impending climax approach you once again, the nth that night. "Don't want it to end," you gasp, using up all the strength left in you form a coherent sentence.
Sunghoon coos at you. Fucking coos at you only to deepen the strokes of his cock inside you, angling his hips to reach even deeper. "Cum for me baby, I'll just keep fucking you."
Your thighs shake as they wrap around his waist to pull him closer, his hips switching to grinding his cock into you instead of thrusting it, the fat tip poking the most delicious sensitive parts of your heat. You gasp and wheeze, claw and scratch and draw blood from his skin but it never hinders or stops his strokes. You clench around him time and time again, wrapping around his cock so nicely Sunghoon can feel his own orgasm build up in the pit of his stomach.
You come around him with a silent scream, every single part of your body twitching under him as he keeps fucking into you, now chasing his own high. He still takes a moment to watch you and how beautiful you look at the highest of your peak, eyes glazed over and mouth hung open, sweaty skin glistening so beautifully he wishes to be a painter and capture it forever. It's a sight he's never gonna grow accustomed to, and it has his stomach twist in knots. "That's it baby, so fucking gorgeous, keep cumming for me like that, milking my cock so well."
Even in the aftershocks of your orgasm, your body looks for his, hips rolling into his as if to silently ask for him to cum inside you, now that your voice has completely failed you.
"Just a bit more. We're almost there, my perfect little baby, so good for me," Sunghoon is babbling too by now, so damn enamored with the sight of you trying to keep your twitching under control even though you're still cumming around him and teetering on overstimulation so he can fully savor his own high. "The most perfect angel girl ever. I love you so fucking much."
Your head is light and Sunghoon's words reach you as if in slow motion, muffled by your own blood buzzing in your ears. You're completely drenched, and the bedding underneath you is too, but neither of you can bring yourselves to care. The slide is not painful anymore, and everything feels so warm and slippery, you never want it to end.
The image of Sunghoon still grinding and fucking his cock into you, his pace now reduced to a desperate mess and nowhere near as precise as it was, clears up slowly as your ears stop ringing, but your pleasure never does. You don't know if you're still cumming or if Sunghoon fucking you just feels this good you can't tell the difference, but you feel like you're on cloud nine and lighter than you've ever been.
Sunghoon's torso is completely glistening, and you feel some of that slick coat your skin too when he bends your legs into you, folding you against the bed and hitting even deeper inside you.
You're a moaning mess as he pistons his dick inside your heat, dragging perfectly against your gummy walls. You look down and see a bulge poke your lower tummy with each deep stroke of his. The sight alone is enough to have you on the edge again, but it feels different this time, like you cannot possibly contain what's about to happen.
"Hoon—"
"Shh," he silences you, hair a sweaty mess and dripping all over your figure. The squelching sounds of his skin slapping against yours, connected by white strips of slick on both of your thighs get even louder when his pace gets faster, the hand that played with your clit suddenly pushing down on the bulging of your stomach. "Give it all to me, soak my fucking dick—fuck, I'm gonna cum baby, gonna cum so deep inside you."
You cannot stop the dam from breaking, juices shooting out of you so suddenly you're taken aback too, coating his entire lower abdomen in it. Your cunt throbs around him so hard, almost like it's trying to push his cock out of you. You can't think of anything, cannot fathom anything that's not Sunghoon, and his perfect cock, and how good you feel, going completely limp on the bed.
He moans louder than you at the sight of your wetness drenching the bed and his cock. "Fuck, take it all baby. I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm—"
His hips stutter one final time against you, burying his cock deep inside you and shooting his seed in multiple thick spurts as deep as he possibly can, filling you up perfectly. He dips down to catch your mouth in a messy kiss, panting into your mouth even as you two are still both trying to catch your breath from your orgasms, but your lips on his are all the oxygen he needs.
"I love you," you whisper into the kiss, your words finally having found the way out of your throat again.
Sunghoon hums, his body weakened and tired but still hovering above you instead of slumping on you. "I love you more." He gives you a sweet peck like he wasn't just putting you through the matters moments ago. "You were perfect, baby. Did so amazing." He lets his body go beside you on the bed, dragging you between his arms and grimacing when the wet mess you made on the covers touches the back of his body. "A rag won't be enough."
You smile, weak but content. "And who's fault is that?"
Sunghoon pretends to think about it, but from the look on his face you can tell the answer is ready on his tongue. "I think it might be yours for being too hot I couldn't help myself."
You swat your hand on his chest, but there's no force behind the gesture.
"Aaand for making me jealous."
A groan leaves your lips, your arms coming up to cover your face. "How am i gonna ever face Jay again after this."
Sunghoon's chest vibrates against your skin. "You'll think about that after I clean you up."
You make a low noise of complaint, rolling over to push yourself on top of your boyfriend's body, hands resting on his toned chest as you reach for his huge cock and slowly sink yourself onto it, head thrown back in pleasure even if it's not fully hard anymore. Sunghoon's breath catches in his throat as he watches you lower yourself against him again, your head finding refuge on his shoulder. "Later."
You stay like that for a while, breaths slowly synchronizing in the peaceful quiet, Sunghoon's cock comfortably nested in your heat while his fingers lazily ghost over the entire expanse of your back. You could fall asleep at any moment, but you raise your head one more time to look at your boyfriend, his half lidded eyes meeting yours instantly. "You did not strike me as the type of guy to edge himself that much."
"Just go to sleep."
BONUS
You roll over to tentatively search Sunghoon's bedside table, ignoring the sound of the lube bottle hitting the floor, until the cold screen of your phone meets your spread hand.
Sunghoon is snoring lightly behind you, his nose nuzzled against your nape, and you hope to not wake him up as you unlock your phone. You recoil when the light that feels like a million suns momentarily blinds you, but even that is not enough to discourage you from completing the life-or-death task ahead of you.
You open up messages—promptly ignoring Jay's "never do this shit again. you two are nasty."— and click on Jungwon's chat, not wasting time to watch the several unloaded video files sitting in it (you can easily recognize the blonde silhouette of Jake's hair in half of them, so you're free to assume it's nothing of particular importance anyway) to type a quick text.
05:34 AM. You: mission accomplished ;p (cancel the hiking thing we planned for next week unless you carry me yourself. your girl can't walk)
Shockingly enough, he replies within the minute.
05:35 AM. twin: you shameless being (a whole week is crazy)
05:37 AM. twin: whatever, but I'm dragging you out for brunch so you figure out your means of transportation yourself. we need to catch up
05:38 AM. You: crazy night for both of us i assume
Warnings: oral sex(f! receiving), face sitting, pet names, praising, spanking, fingering
Masterlist ۶•ৎ
Ni-ki x fem reader
It's yet another day when Niki lays in his favorite place — between your thighs. He promised you he'd just rest his head there and cuddle while you two watch a movie, but he's not afraid to break a promise — especially one like this one.
He started slow, with light kisses on your inner thighs, his hands tracing slow patterns on your soft skin. “Niki, the movie…” you reminded him, letting out a big sigh as you realized he's completely ignoring you and focusing on something else. His kisses became rougher, more eager, adding desperate bites and licks. You felt his hands all over your legs and waist , he traced his fingers along your hips and occasionally shifted under your top, near your bra, when he finally reached his destination — the edge of your shorts. He gave you a pleading look, making sure he's not crossing any boundaries because technically you wanted to watch a movie together. You responded with a small nod, your hands found their way over to his hair, your fingers tangling in it. Niki eagerly took your shorts and panties in one go — throwing them somewhere across the room. You swear you could see his eyes light up when he saw you bare, admiring it like an art piece. His hands locked harshly on your hips, wanting to keep you steady, as he planted passionate kisses on your inner thighs, getting closer and closer to your pussy with each small lick. Your whimper and small tug on his hair made him smirk — he always loved seeing how desperate you are for him, how eager you can get. “You need something, darling?” he asked you, acting clueless even though he knew exactly what you meant. “Niki, please…” you answered with a pout, your fingers playing with his hair. “Please what? Use your words, pretty.” he teased you, kissing near your knees now, getting away from where you desperately want him. “Please, can you eat me out…?” you asked shyly, you always hated saying this type of stuff out loud, and he knew it, yet he couldn't help himself. The view of your reddish cheeks, a small pout, and begging but embarrassed eyes made his heart beat faster and, well, his cock harder. “Hmm, let me think…” he said between little bites alongside your hip and waist. His hands pushed up your shirt, uncovering your lacy pink bra with a little bow — Niki's favorite. His breath hitched at the view, tracing his long fingers on the lace, admiring how sexy you look under him right now. “Fuck, you knew what to wear, right?” he groaned as he squeezed your boobs together, placing small kisses on them. “Fine, I think you deserve it,” he murmured, kissing and licking your stomach as he got down between your legs again.
This time, without teasing, he placed a kiss right on your clit and savored your reaction — a small shake of your thighs and the cutest whimper. His hands kept you in place as his whole focus was on your clit — sucking on it, giving it small kisses from time to time. You tugged on his soft hair, letting out small moans while admiring your favorite view. Niki looked as if he was hypnotized, nothing could take him away from your pussy. He savored every drop of your juices, every little taste of your cunt. He became even faster, eating you out from your clit to your hole — pushing his tongue in and licking the entrance before getting back to focusing on your clit. Your thighs shook and your back arched before his hands grabbed you down on the bed, one of them sliding under your bra and squeezing your boob, his thumb tracing gentle circles around your nipple. You could hear him letting out small sounds as he got lost in you completely, all that existed for him right now was your pussy. He could feel that you're getting closer — shaky thighs, louder moans, his scalp burning because of your tugging, and let's be honest, he loves that pain. His pace quickened even more, sucking harshly on your clit as his two fingers found your entrance, pushing in smoothly because of how wet you are. The curl of his fingers brought you to the edge, your thighs almost smashing Niki's head, yet he stayed in his place, letting you ride out your orgasm. He continued with small licks and slow movements of his fingers inside you till you calmed down a bit.
Once he realized your breathing came back to normal and your legs stopped shaking this much, he flipped you over — positioning you right over his face. Your clit gently touched his nose as you grabbed the headboard to keep steady. “Niki, what are you—” before you could finish, he cut you off. “Come on, sit on me,” he interrupted while pushing your hips down, but you didn't completely let him. You put a little weight on him, scared to suffocate him, but it only made him groan. “Can't you listen? I said sit, the whole weight, don't play with me, Y/N,” he gave your ass a sharp smack, using your lack of focus at the moment to bring your hips down, finally letting him taste your pussy again. The overwhelming feeling was strong, making you forget about the possibility of suffocating Niki. He ate you out like he was a starved man, circling your clit, giving you gentle bites once in a while, meanwhile, his hands gripped your thighs and hips so tightly he left marks, but both of you didn't care — in fact, you loved them. Seeing all the marks he leaves on your body even several days after conjures up memories and makes your stomach flip. His tongue sped up again after sensing you're close, he kept you in place when your hips automatically bucked up. When you reached your orgasm again, he completely slowed down and became gentle again, with small licks and kisses before flipping you on your back. He left small kisses and licks on your neck while whispering into your ear, “My girl did so good,” “You're so tasty, I already miss it,” “You're so pretty, darling.” When you lifted your head, you saw the final credits showing on your TV screen, making you remember that you were supposed to be doing something else, but the movie was probably shitty anyway.