Drunk girls vs. Dyson hand dryers
By now, most of us have had the novel experience of using a Dyson high-powered hand dryer.
The first time you encountered this advanced bathroom equipment your thoughts may have gone something like this:
Where are the paper towels?
What is this silver thing and how am I supposed to use it?
You can do this. Just wait for someone else to use it first.
oooh... Okay, I just dip my hands and then slowly remove. Here we go
Wooaahh my skin is vibrating. I can see the little water drops. This is the future.
After a while you get accustomed to this drying habit. But every once in a while we get thrown a curve ball.
This is the Dyson Airblade V Hand Dryer, AB12. And recently my local, campus bar generously installed one in their women’s restroom. In the cramped space of the overcrowded bathroom, a long line usually takes up the majority of breathing room. But, while waiting, one can witness one girl after another face the gusty tempest of the Dyson Airblade. Some users express their confusion, leading to a group effort to figure out how to use it. Others are more bold and will immediately start waving their hands around the machine, like Tai Chi on fast forward, until they feel the blast of air. The blast will occasionally throw the user off balance, or even ricochet off the user’s hands leaving the surrounding line literally “blown away.” Chaos momentarily ensues before all parties regain their composure.
However, every once in a while, one unaware, intoxicated bathroom goer is inevitably defeated, by her Dyson adversary. Yes, when the stars align and the time is just right, a girl will enter the bathroom with her drink in hand. She will set the drink down or give it to a friend, use one of the stalls, wash her hands, pick up aforementioned beverage, and attempt to use the hand dryer. The Dyson recognizes her weakness, and with the slightest trigger of it’s motion censor, roar with wind onto the user’s hands, into her drink, and spray her and all of the surrounding girls with the vodka-cranberry mixture.
Thank you Dyson, thank you Taylor’s Bar & Grill you are true geniuses and innovators.