You Meet Yourself

[mountainseasky]

[mountainseasky]

Do you believe in a previous life and Parallel universe? Have you ever have some dreams that look like real life?

My name is Ashley, a third-year university student.  I had loved a man secretly for 9 years. He is my classmate from grade 7 to grade 9, and he was a handsome, humorous, and gentle person. I did get a chance to tell him that I loved him, and I also didn’t want to. I knew that he doesn’t like me.

I think everyone has had secret love when they are young.

After grade 9, we went to a different school, and I thought I would forget him very fast. But life was not that easy. I started to have dreamed about him almost every night. When I first time had a dream about him, I felt very upset but also felt a little happy. The dream made me feel like real life, I even can feel the wind that touched my face.

Sometimes I knew I was in a dream, but when I saw his face, all I wanted was that the dream would continue. However, I know it is fake, and I know when the morning comes, I have to wake.

I still remember the felt of the first time I met him in my dream. That was an ordinary night, and I slept a little bit late.

I felt I was around by the darkness, suddenly heard someone’s voice. When I opened my eyes, the dazzling sunlight was a little harsh. I sat in my seat and looked forward. I see the instructor stood in front of the classroom vaguely.

Is this a dream? Why I'm here?

I heard someone calling my nickname. I turned around then I saw his face.

"What do you think? I called you several times, but it didn't work. " His face was full of smiles.

This is really a dream, I thought. I am not a classmate with him anymore. We haven't seen each other for half a year. Seeing him again, I am still happy, even it just in a dream.

“Ashley? Ashley? Are you alright?” He put his hand on my forehead and asked with concern. I was scared, and I wanted to dodge. But actually, my body didn't move. I realized that I could not control my body. I can see, feel, but I could not move my body. I can felt I was smiling, and I pulled his hand down.

The scene suddenly shifted to the courtyard. Breeze across my face, I seem to smell the fragrance of flowers in the wind.

I looked at him. He was talking, but I couldn’t hear. All I can hear was the harsh noises. Suddenly,  I waked, I saw the sunlight pass through my curtain. It’s morning.

[mountainseasky]

[mountainseasky]

What you have seen, What is real? What is fake? Do you really know?

Image by  Pixabay

[mountainseasky]

I lied on the bed and stared at my phone. I was very sleepy, but I felt fear of fall asleep. Since I had several dreams about him, I felt expectation and fear at the same time. In these dreams, I felt happy at first, but soon I realized that I was in my own dream. There was nothing real, and all was my illusion. Then I felt disappointed and annoyed. I didn’t want to have dreams about him, and I didn’t want to experience the sense of loss after I wake up. Until the day I felt pain in my dream. I heard someone says that people could not felt pain in the dream. When I first time felt pain in a dream, I was shocked by the feeling. At that moment, I felt very confused about the pain that I felt. Also, I started to consider that was in a dream or reality. It was the familiar scenes. In my classroom and I was in my seat. I turned around, and I saw his face. He was smiling and saying something. "It's a dream again." I thought. He suddenly knocked my head gently and saying something to me. However, I could not hear what he had said. I was shocked by the feeling of ache from my front head. " What was that? Why did I feel a little pain after he knocked my head? It should not happen in a dream." Suddenly, I sat up out of bed. It's already morning, but my alarm didn’t ring yet. I breathe very unevenly; my heart beats fast. I tried to figure out what happened and why it happened. I searched on the internet, but most results said it is rare to felt pain in dreams. I felt confused about what I had experienced. I tried to figure out what happened and why it happened. I searched on the internet, but most results said it is rare to felt pain in dreams. I felt confused about what I had experienced. However, I could not find fit words to convince myself. Then I thought about the parallel universe. The universe that he and I were still together. Soon I rejected the idea. If it was a parallel universe, why could I go there? I prefer to believe that's all dreams, and everything was my illusion. If I stopped thinking about him, would I stop have any dreams about him? From that day, I started felt nervous about fall asleep. I didn't know will I dream about him or not. I wanted to meet him in my dream, but when I waked up, I would felt lonely and annoying.

[mountainseasky]

[mountainseasky]

[mountainseasky]

Today is the 390th day of our graduation. I haven't meet Ashley for 390 days. Yesterday, I first time had a dream about her. I can't remember the detail of the dream, and all I can remember is her smiling face and the sound of her laughing. 

I start thinking about the first time I meet her.

  That was a summer day. I just transferred to a new school, and I didn't know many people yet. I was talking about video games with the person who sits behind me. The game was a good topic for boys to get friends with boys.

 Suddenly, I heard the sound of falling glasses, and I looked in the direction of the sound. I saw a glass lamp fell and smashed behind her very closely. If the lamp fell a little forward, it would hit her on the head. I thought she would be scared, but she just looked back and didn't react much. Many people in the classroom got shocked because it looks very dangerous. Some people asked her did she got hurt. She smiled and said she was fine.

  At that moment, I felt very surprised because she was too calm about that situation.

From that day on, I began to notice her. I thought she was a cold introvert. But soon, I found out that I was wrong. She is a very cheerful, smiling, and talkative person. At the same time, she is also a brave person. It was rare to see her felt scared and nervous. For her, it seems like everything was could solved, and nothing needed to be afraid.

I was attracted by her special personality. Some people may think she was cute and gullible. However, I think she just didn't care about little lies from her friends. She might know someone was lying, but she didn't want to make them felt embarrassed, so she would not speak out.  When you think she was gullible, she would surprise you with some little detailed things, which made you think she was so clever.

  I don't really want to think about her. Whenever I think of her, I am excited and lonely. I thought I would be with her one day. But one day, my father told me that I would be going to study abroad. I don't know how long I can stay with her or when I can return home. I don't have the confidence to run foreign love. But I was still deeply attracted to her. I thought we would keep in contact with each other as good friends. However, after we graduated, we had exchanged some messages when special festivals. Soon we were out of contact.

I felt a little scared, but also a little miss of the time we were friends. I still remember she was afraid of ghosts and horror movies. But she believes in previous lives and parallel universes. She was like to watch videos about previous lives and parallel universes. We had talked about these topics many times. When she talks about these things, I could felt her passion for these mysteries.

  Now, I hope there are parallel universes. I wish I can be braver in these parallel universes, and I can be along with her.

  If this will be true, I will not need to afraid to think about her when I missed her.

[mountainseasky]