Any advice for trans girls? Iâve known Iâm trans for seven months now, but I donât know when Iâm going to be able to start transitioning. Any suggestions on how to feel more feminine would be incredible.
TLDR:hair, keep sideburns a gradual fade, nails, waistcoats, purses/bags, baggy tops?, colors, check your skin tone, makeup, chapstick, eyeshadow on chapstick, concealer, shave your facial hair (not your hands), carrying bags, voice modulation, have confidence, work on your walk, heels?, come out as necessary, get gender markers taken care of.
Only do what makes you feel comfortable & happy. If you do it, merely because you think thatâs a gate-keeping requirement, then youâre going to feel horrible & jerks will attack that. Only do what you consent to. Cis women do already.
Longer hair (when you get it cut ask for more feminine than masculine. Having it parted, like showing the forehead seems to be in fashion these days. You might want to try and keep the top of the forehead covered with hair though. Like fluff it & keep the sides of your hairline covered since the sides being square tends to be masculine, I think.)
Keep your sideburns faded gradually.
Nails, perhaps painted. Clear polish works too but still. Itâs not mandatory since women do work in labor jobs where polish is a liability. Wash your hands for like a minute at a time though to help keep dirt from being under there (I typically wash my hands at least 10 times a day overall, but still.)
Tie coats & sweaters around your waist (itâs kind of like a skirt, but informal & more gender neutral).Iâm not sure, but big coats & baggy sweaters might help too if you want to hide a lack of breasts. (We give that advice for trans men trying to hide theirs, so it can probably work the other way if enough context is given. Like others can assume whatever size, but not have the specifics.)
Oh, brighter colors can help. Find out your skin tone. [1] This will determine your colors. If your like a pale winter, pinks, blues, purples & blacks are best. The tanner you are the more you can wear of the rainbow. If youâre dark, then blacker colors might not do as well in a similar way to how if youâre pale, then whiter colors might not look good on you.
Makeup exists, eyeshadow can be helpful, eyeliner can be unisex (it depends on how you draw it), lipstick is striking. Chapstick is more subtle, but works.Using eyeshadow on chapstick is cool to play with too. Donât do that too much because sanitation, but itâs better on clear chapstick instead of lipstick because lipstick is a pain to remove from your fingers.
Concealer can work for hiding stubble, but I donât have experience with that (my skin is sensitive & acne prone, ugh. Getting the right one to match my complexion & Fear is basically why.)
Otherwise shaving & epilators (an electric devices that plucks all the hairs it comes in contact with.) might be needed to manage beards & stuff.Also never shave your hands. Too many joints, and bones to knick on. Getting like punctured on your hands can lead to infection a bunch. Itâs why cat bites can be dangerous, by the way. If you do shave your hands stay on solid ground, be very careful.
Since purses are gendered feminine where Iâm from at least, using some sort of bag to carry stuff can be helpful. Perhaps a gym bag or a totebag if you need to be closeted. What you carry in there can help define it. However a lot of things get carried in purses. Basically, if you claim a gym bag, carry a t-shirt & such to support it & whatever else you want. Also use your forearms when possible, because you want to avoid putting weight on your joints.
Voice modulation can help, but basically aim for talking more towards the front of your mouth, not the back towards the throat. If youâre going through or have gone through testosterone-puberty the vocal chords are already thick. Therefore just practicing doing different pitches with your voice helps. Speaking from the diaphragm helps with not straining your voice. I find trying to aim my airflow towards my nose/2 front teeth roof helps. However I also have an overbite, so it might be different for you. (Also a lisp & nasally thing so my typical might be different too).
Granted, there are stereotypical speech patterns that can be mimicked, but honestly youâre already a woman & women can have deep voices. Granted, not baritone, but still. Confidence matters more. Insecurity can show in your voice. Not being the ânormâ can be ascribed to other things besides being transgender. Sell it.
Moving your hips side to side when you walk is something to definitely practice. Do not exaggerate it though.Iâm not sure if this is accurate, but this is what I do:Basically when walking I guess like focus your like balance towards your perinium (my apologies). And then go like this gameboard [3] with the left-right being longer than the front-back.
If I understand correctly, then your butt will maybe dip slightly, but still Subtlety is a goal here. (Weâre going for typical, not âflirtyâ, right?)
I donât know enough about heals. However, I know flip-flops are as bad for your feet as heels Therefore use flipflops as your guidelines for wearing heels. (The firmness of the ground might have different needs though.) Probably start with a 2 inch heel? Work your way from there. Youâll have to learn how to walk on the balls of your feet. Basically youâll take steps in half-circle motions keeping the balls of your feet like flat. Practice in private & in a safe setting before you do it âin the wildâ.
You can also just come out of the closet as a trans woman, with a name & pronouns & stuff if you think thatâs a safe idea. That being said safety in itself doesnât provide happiness, so youâll probably want to find a way to move on from the land of the transphobes as needed. (Tragically, there never a totally safe land, so youâll need to make a support system of friends or like clubs/activities/common interest circles as needed.) Check out your state laws on changing your name & gender marker. [4][5] For your birth certificate itâs where you were born at. Your driverâs license is where you live. Passports are federal & currently require Appropriate Clinical Treatment to be met. The laws can change though. Therefore, do it when you can.
Some of these are more gender roles than not. Iâm just trying to give you ideas for how to reinforce your existence as a woman. If you get euphoria, do it. If itâs gatekeeper stuff itâll probably feed insecurities & that will leave you vulernable to dysphoria from transgender deniers like TERFs & âŚâconservativesâ. Transitioning is supposed to be affirmative & making you better & healthier. Therefore, take what you want & leave the rest. Youâre still a woman. Also cis women donât conform to all these roles either.
PS[1] for makeup & clothes https://m.wikihow.com/Determine-Skin-Tone
[2] voice therapyhttps://play.google.com/store/apps/developer?id=Purr+Programminghttps://www.susans.org/wiki/index.php/Voicehttps://www.susans.org/wiki/Voice_therapyhttps://www.smithsonianmag.com/innovation/how-transgender-women-are-training-their-voices-sound-more-feminine-180957537/https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?board=346.0http://www.transgenderhub.com/7-transgender-voice-feminization-mtf-coaching-tips/https://theconversation.com/how-trans-people-can-change-their-voice-to-suit-their-preferred-gender-52863https://medium.com/@allisawash/trans-women-sing-rie-daisies-on-owning-the-transfeminine-voice-a416a59a2d70
[3] hip movement for walkingDiagram https://goo.gl/images/c4amGCOther sourceshttp://sillytranswoman.blogspot.com/2010/09/transition-more-feminine-gait.html?m=1https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=174009.0https://m.wikihow.com/Walk-Like-a-Lady?amp=1
(CW: cross-dresser centric Not trans. Sensuality tips. If you correct âguy modeâ as âwhile closetedâ you should be good. However the sensuality & âmagicâ aesthetic of the words might be triggering. The discussion about hip bones & ankles are useful though.) https://gendertrender.wordpress.com/2012/11/13/becoming-a-woman-avoid-the-linear-stance/amp/
[4] gender marker & name change info in USAhttps://transequality.org/documents
[5] civil rights of trans people in USAhttps://transequality.org/know-your-rights