Trans Advice @trans-advice - Tumblr Blog

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#resources

im genderfluid. over time, the name "thorne" has grown on me a lot, but only recently have i discovered that its considered masculine. however, its a rare first name, and also being something of a noun name, do you think i could get away with it when im more feminine? does a woman named thorne sound plausible?

i mean obviously experiment with spelling, but if you need to fem it up, then maybe adding some fem flower or plant name that has thorns? roses come to mind, but still. -- good luck, peace & love, eve

readers any feedback?

Hello, does anyone have advice on coming out?

My parents have always been supportive of LGBT, but it's been.. very terrifying to open up to them like that, especially with all the stigma surrounding trans people in the place I live at right now (it's getting really bad. Like really bad)

I don't know how to explain all these internalised feelings I've been having, from just dysphoria and hating my body in general and to just, slightly curling in on myself when I'm called a she or a girl. I'm scared of like, shocking them so bad that they keep asking if I'm sure. They've said I go through "phases" when I tried to tell them I don't wanna wear dresses anymore or when I tried to to throw some more feminine stuff out, so it's been a lot harder to explain to them with that memory lurking around

I don't know how to explain to them I don't wanna be their "little girl" anymore.

Does anyone just have any advice?

readers any advice?

Hi this might be weird but .. long story short I've been thinking about gender and wondering. a few things. can i identify with bigender but technically have 3 genders? and can i identify as bigender but be cis/demigirl/xenogender as the specific genders? i worry this is a copout to like ... "real" trans people who have deep dysphoria or who feel super drawn to opposite-of-birth-sex stuff. i really love being a girl, it brings me so much joy and i'm very feminine, its just sometimes i feel kinda not like a girl, and sometimes my gender has a little something more to it. idk. i dont want to step on any toes.

first of all decenter the binary people as being more trans than you are, you have a right to be here, and you are just as trans as them. you idenitfy with other gender(s) than the one assigned to you at birth.

2ndly, cis is technically not a gender identity, it's a modality based on comparing your assigned gender (at birth, tho societies may vary. in usamerica we tend to do "at birth") with your actual gender identity. like it seems you mean (cis) girl, so your list of identities would be more like girl/demigirl/xenogender. as you can see, girl/demigirl/xenogender is not the same as (only) girl, so you are trans, though you might pass (in a misgendering way) as a cis girl to uninformed people.

the part about being a girl, whether girl or demigirl, you might be interested in the -flux label, but the advantage to the way you're already saying it is that you're being specific about your range of flucuation where as the -flux label would be more of an umbrella term. so whether you want speicificness or an umbrella term would probably depend on your audience. seriously, giving pronouns along with your name was developed because sometimes people want to experiment with their pronouns, or only feel safe with certain sets in certain spaces, such as queer & t4t ones.

3ndly, you're talking about multigender vocabulary. i might go with trigender because you literally mention 3, but basically at a certain point it will depend on how high people can count. for example i use the term bisexual or bi+ or mspec to describe my sexuality, even tho in nonbinary spaces it's easier to say something like bi/pan.

(look, if i go into how my sexuality works that'd get off topic & i'd worry that it'd be weaponized by ignorant people on the internet when the gag is i want mspec & aspec unity, the same way i want transgender unity, whether binary, nonbinary, genderqueer, agender, xenogender, etc. so i go with bi/pan/etc in nonbinary spaces to emphasize that unity, or "bi/bi+ as in nonbinary". i included this note partly because i think it might help you out as one of your genders is a xenogender.)

the last part i'm going to say is that while i just did my best to show how not to step on any toes, transphobia & exorsexism are systemic, and there are going to be people motivated to disrespect & dehumanize you. so that's why it's important to know what you're about so that you can defend yourself against that gaslighting & conversion torture.

good luck, peace & love,

eve

i feel so guilty. i have a girlfriend, she's trans, but i've always felt weird. a little resentful, around trans women. i realized that it's because they have what i want and i feel so guilty about it.

i was born afab but i really, really wish i had a male body and male genetalia. it's something i've daydreamed about since as long as i can remember. she has everything i want, a penis and breasts and i know that i can't ever have one of those things. surgery won't ever look right, it won't ever be right for me.

i don't want to resent her. i don't like feeling this way. i know she suffers so much for being transgender, fights to be seen as a woman. i'm not even a trans man- i'm bigender. i don't hate my breasts. i just think and yearn so much for something else that it hurts. it makes me sick how much i wish i was born a boy. and i'm never going to get that.

i don't know what to do. i don't want to resent my girlfriend like this, but i feel weird sometimes when i think about trans women because i just... feel so envious.

firstly, you are trans too. your girlfriend's gender is binary, and yours is nonbinary. now i get with the multiple genders that you might think that you're partly cis, and while at your stage you might have access to cis privilege (which mind you is still subject to marginalization due to gender non-conformity), basically trans means not cis, as in you don't identify with just the gender assigned to you at birth. i'm spelling this out because you have a lot of shame around being nonbinary instead of binary cis woman or trans man.

okay so the surgery part, i'm not familar with different surgeries let alone surgeons for phalloplasty, but it's like any surgery in general, what results are available vary based on the surgeon. so if you're ever interested in that, then you're going to want to start looking at different surgeons' portfolios, and if you can start getting connected with other people searching for those surgeries, looking at reviews, trying to keep up with which surgeons are still around.

you might want to expand your search internationally for medical tourism, tho i would also look into how trans people have to navigate border cops because of how in USA this presidential administration hates tgnciq2s+ people to the point that perisex soldiers are being reclassified as intersex if their testerone levels are too "low". so if you go that route, then also look up travel advice (which might be a good idea regardless since you are a trans bigender person anyways.)

i also want to mention that you might want to start packing. sometimes it can be as simple as putting a bundled up sock packer in your underwear. that can give enough euphoria and or relief from dysphoria.

you might also want to start coming out in certain spaces, maybe online or whereever is lower-risk. i know due to exorsexism & cisgender supremacism that you might have to adapt your transition to cope with misgendering. like i have a nonbinary friend who's bigender who only goes by they/them publically because the 2ndary gender is the one they were assigned at birth, and so they're like if they had been like they/he or they/she that people would just erase their transgender identity. the good news is that other nonbinary people navigate this too, and you might find support from them.

the last bit is that i'd consider coming out to your girlfriend. i don't know how y'all's relationship works. i don't know how affirming she is. idk if she's t4t. idk if she partakes in the shame you feel as a nonbinary person. but ultimately, you are going to need to stop living your transition goals vicariously thru the status of her body especially if she transitions, and you'll need to start living them thru your own, whether medically, socially, legally, or culturally. (personally, i'm not quite sure how the cultural part would look, but still.)

good luck, peace & love,

eve

i know transitioning will probably save my life (gender feels like a torture trap and thats what everyone says), but:

1. i cant imagine any tangible outcome that would actually make me happier

2. whenever i feel fine about my life, i have no motivation or interest in it

what am i meant to do here

then work on helping improve your life in other ways besides transitioning so that in those moments you do want to transition you might be in a better place to do so. (assuming you are meant to do so instead of doing what i said and address something else). remember your gender identity is separate from whether you're transitioning or not.

if other people are the problem, then transition in affirming ways that are secret, like maybe clothes that aren't readily visible like socks, or making some affirming art using either pride colors or sigils or personal symbols or what have you.

good luck, peace & love,

eve

tiktoks-i-enjoyed

Get free gender-affirming kits and flight assistance. The Queer Trans Project is a Black & Trans-led nonprofit supporting the trans and nonb

nariarts

There is a motion going through UK parliament now (5th June 2026) to disapprove the EHRC Code of Practice. If passed, the Code of Practise will limit trans rights and legal protections, and give institutions greater power to segregate us.

This tool lets you find your MP and send them an email just by putting in your postcode and details.

Asking your MP to join this and support us gives us a chance at walking this back.

It takes less than 5 minutes. The email is pre-written, but you can add you own experiences and concerns.

Please feel free to print this off & distribute it in your area, or at Pride events!

You can print 1 poster on a4, or 4 flyers to a page. It does work OK in black and white, it just pops more in colour. easy to leave behind on tables, on noticeboards, or to give to people on the sidelines while you're marching at Pride

bovid-beauty

The rule could have heavy impacts towards trans people across society.

Last week, the Trump administration quietly released a sweeping new federal rule that would use funding threats to force institutions across the country to reject transgender people. The 400-page proposed regulation would codify the administration's anti-trans executive orders into binding federal policy, imposing a blanket prohibition on federal funds going toward "gender ideology"

The proposed rule, formally titled "Regulation for Federal Financial Assistance," rewrites the government-wide framework governing all federal grants across every agency. Among its most consequential provisions, it requires that before a federal grant recipient can receive money, the award must pass a "pre-issuance review" conducted by a political appointee—not a career expert or peer reviewer—to ensure it is "consistent with applicable law, Federal agency priorities, and the national interest." The regulation explicitly instructs these appointees to screen for "denial by the recipient of the sex binary in humans or the notion that sex is a chosen or mutable characteristic." [...] An institution that acknowledges transgender people exist—through its policies, its training, its healthcare, its bathroom access, its HR procedures, its name-change processes—could be deemed to "deny the sex binary" or to “support the notion that sex is mutable” and have its federal funding blocked.

Importantly, the gender ideology prohibition has no age limitation—hospitals could be targeted not just for providing care to minors but for providing gender-affirming care to adults, because prescribing hormone therapy to a transgender patient of any age could be deemed promoting the belief that "sex is a chosen or mutable characteristic."

junequeer

THIS IS OPEN TO COMMENT UNTIL JULY 13, 2026

featherandstorm

This is all very bad and horrible, but I want to be clear that it’s worse and more sweeping than just eliminating trans research.

This torches everything. And I do mean everything.

A very abbreviated list of its ramifications include (but are not limited to):

ending funding for ALL DEI related initiatives

allowing the government to terminate grants at any point for any reason

preventing researchers from publishing, going to conferences, and being part of academic societies

requiring that topics must support the president’s agenda.

What this means, and if anything I’m under selling it, is the death of science and research in America. It allows the government to restrict any topic they please at a whims notice, putting officials who have no background in the topic in charge of deciding funding continuity. It controls what gets researched and if/how researchers are allowed to share their discoveries. There are no books to burn if the government never allows them to be written. This is fascism plain and simple.

Please, if you only ever write one public comment, this is the one to do.

genderkoolaid

Bringing back this guide to writing an effective public comment. This gives you the basics you need to know, what you need to include, a basic outline you can follow, etc.

Public comments are not a vote, it is a chance for you to say "here is an issue with this law I think you need to address" and provide justification for legal challenges if it goes forward:

"Comments raise the bar that agencies have to meet when making a rule; “if an agency fails to adequately respond to significant, relevant comments in a final rule, members of the public may seek to challenge the rule in court on that basis and claim it could be struck down.ˮ"

But also, if possible, don't stop at writing a comment. Don't stop at calling your representatives. You should ideally be talking to people in your community about this and organizing resistance on-the-ground; there is a good chance people are already doing that even if you aren't hearing about it.

brainscrems

Also, please keep in mind, this is 100%, without a doubt, wholly unconsitituonal. They will try to enforce it regardless, but that does not make it legal. Do not treat this as law because it is not.

crushed-sugar

Special shoutout to all the queer, intersex, and trans het folks. Sorry for all the “it’s illegal to be straight this month” jokes you’ll have to endure. Y’all are still very much part of the community.

trans-advice

https://transactual.org.uk/blog/2026/05/22/statement-uk-gov-offering-cruelty-not-clarity-with-code-of-practice/

It was never just about bathrooms.

Here’s how the guidance fails:

The new Code of Practice fails against all three tests set out for it being workable for trans people:

- It does not offer clear ways for gendered services to remain trans inclusive

- It does not clearly protect the freedom of association for gender-based organisations who wish to be trans inclusive, such as the Women’s Institute

- It does not uphold the UK’s human rights obligations, causing widespread outing, and requiring perception-based gender policing by service providers

Additionally, it represents a major step back for LGBTQ+ progress in the UK, providing a roadmap for people to launder prejudice against any LGBTQ+ person as legitimate belief. In its own impact assessment, the Government acknowledges that this new guidance may have negative impacts on trans people, disabled people and cis women who will be subjected to the same gender policing.

The new Code would conscript every receptionist and frontline worker into the ‘gender police’, leaving them to navigate the Government’s cruel and contradictory guidance or face legal consequences for either challenging the wrong person, or failing to challenge a trans person.

It will relegate trans people to third spaces, treating our community as a liability to everyone around us while imposing ridiculous costs – more than half a billion – on organisations that will have to adapt their spaces to meet these requirements.

Following the updated guidance will also mean that the UK effectively has no process for legal gender recognition, and will therefore be failing to meet the basic international human rights obligations that led to the passage of the Gender Recognition Act more than 20 years ago.

trans-advice

Does anyone in UK know what the next steps would be? Like I know in USA there would usually be a call to action about petitioning your representatives, but IDK how UK political procedures work & the article didn't give any leads on that. -- mod eve

trans-advice

Apparently this is a lead

💬 0 🔁 20 ❤️ 21 · There is a motion going through UK parliament now (5th June 2026) to disapprove the EHRC Code of Practice. If passed, the

#uk centric

nariarts

There is a motion going through UK parliament now (5th June 2026) to disapprove the EHRC Code of Practice. If passed, the Code of Practise will limit trans rights and legal protections, and give institutions greater power to segregate us.

This tool lets you find your MP and send them an email just by putting in your postcode and details.

Asking your MP to join this and support us gives us a chance at walking this back.

It takes less than 5 minutes. The email is pre-written, but you can add you own experiences and concerns.

Made a zine to distribute with info and a link/QR code to the tool. It is aimed primarily at people who aren't trans or trans allies (including latent transphobes).

Please feel free to print this off & distribute it in your area. It can be printed on A4 paper, or you can access versions that have 2 smaller copies to an A4 page here. (smaller copies saves paper, makes them easier to pocket. my distribution technique is finding tactical places in public to leave them; public transport, on tables in cafes, near other leaflets. you can hand them out directly at Prides etc if you feel confident with that).

Do test prints and folds before you print a ton of them. You can print it black and white, the red just pops if you've got the ink for it.

#uk centric

To the cis straight guy who chose to label in his ask the trans woman he's fixated on as "Eve", you're already a "douchebag", don't date her. She doesn't need you. Currently, you would be a curse not a blessing for her. In fact don't date any one actually, regardless of gender identity/modality/presentation, genitalia, etc.

Like if you're unwilling to wait for her to get bottom surgery because you love PIV that much & you don't even have a relationship, (the genitalia part you brought up as her saving up for)... Like for all intents & purposes you could've been referring to some fictional character because you have no actual relationship with her. And why would you use one of the mods' names to ask that question? You sent in an ask about trying to rebrand your either lack of problem solving skills or your lack of desire to use them, and then you don't even pull out a babyname website to choose a different name for this trans woman you're attracted to, and then you expect me to consider helping your harmful self get with her to be supporting my community instead of harming my community?

Your ask was sexual harassment. If you want to feign innocence then you were inconsiderate. Neither of those are good traits to be dating others with. That's why I'm posting the response like this. I'm not traumatizing a bunch of trans people just to tell you to do better.

-- mod eve

#rainbow washing tw #sexual harrassment tw