Juicy x m reader hc 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ could b dating or like we j friends Ong 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈ykwim
Juicy x Male Reader Head Cannons
I’m so sorry in advance for how all over the place this is, but I thank you for asking for a male reader because I need to write more male ones.
Warning: just cute idk
Just Friends… for now
You and juicy hit it off right away, you loved how he was all over the place but not at the same time.
His silly voices, his broken ass humor. The 3am sending memes back and forth to each other.
And the two of you are inseparable when hanging out. It’s like there’s one brain cell being shared between the two of you.
After awhile of the two of you hanging out, A LOT. Juicy started to hang out with you more outside of the friend group. Taking you to movies, or just those fun 2am Walmart runs. Or even just hanging around with him at each others houses. Juicy is much more touchy now, leaning on you when at his place, watching a movie or playing a video game. Even laying his legs across your lap on the couch as well.
He started bringing you little gifts or trinkets or cool things he found. Like he’s a crow showing his affection to you.
He finally asked you out on a real first date after finding out you weren’t just straight.
He takes you to his favorite pizza spot, and an arcade. Where the two of you might of gotten a drink or two. And that’s when the two of you. Ended up on his couch. Your head in his lap, his hand brushing through your hair. As the two of you just talk, about everything and anything. With some alcohol buzzing through your systems, and having an amazing first date. The two of you fell asleep drunk on his couch.
Finally dating!
Everyone, and I mean everyone! Was so happy to FINALLY see you two dating. Everyone saw the two of you had a connection. And we’re just waiting for the day to come when you finally asked Juicy to be your boyfriend.
Juicy has never been clingier, he loved holding you. Always your hand in his or he’s holding onto you some other way. He keeps bringing you the small trinket gifts, because he loves finding cool or stupid things to bring you. He absolutely adores playing with your hair. Cuddling is his favorite thing to do with you whenever he can.
I started this list, and it kept going and going and going. So here’s just some cute fluffy ones I had.
Moved to @lambyblurbsfics
Domestic Jschlatt Headcanons
Warnings : lots of fluff
Mans is just a big sleeper and napping type guy. Loves to sleep in with you, holding you close.
He is so whiny when you have to get up early or before him or just get out of bed and general and he isn’t ready to let you go yet.
He’ll groan and whine, trying to hold you tighter as the two of you lay there.
You giggle and try to push off of him but he just holds you tighter. He does eventually let go of you. Sometimes making you late for whatever you’re getting up early for.
The cats adore you! Schlatt was worried at first with you moving in that the cats were not gonna get used to you and like you.
But now they absolutely love their new parental unit. And anytime the cats are with you, cuddling, playing. Schlatt has the biggest heart eyes watching his little family together.
You make fun of Schlatt for making the cats auto feeder sound a monkey call. But secretly love it because it is funny.
You’ll come in with snacks for him or a meal while he’s streaming, recording a podcast, anything of the shorts.
It’s because you want him to get more in his stomach than just meat as a joke.
If he’s streaming and you bring him something yummy, the chat goes wild. And Schlatt will blush on camera.
Schlatt likes to try out your hobbies with you, even though most of the time he doesn’t know what he’s doing or has his doubts he’s bad at it even though he just started trying it with you.
You encourage him he’s just learning and getting started. And eventually you two find one of your hobbies the two of you can do every now and then to just relax or spend extra time together.
Bro always has his hands on you in the private of your home when he can.
Loves holding onto you, knowing you’re there and he can give you love attention.
Always sneaks in a butt pinch here and there making you jump from being surprised. And then smacking his arm lightly or something.
I could’ve kept going and going but here ya go lol
Moved to @lambyblurbsfics just finishing out my inbox
OMG i was just scrolling through the schlatt x reader tag (as one does 👁👄👁) and then i saw your shy!reader x schlatt idea and i just about exploded!!! This is literally me to a T as well so would you ever write sth close to that? Its totally fine if you don‘t but a girl can delusionally dream 🥹 anyways regardless, have a lovely day 🧡
I'm so so so so sorry this took me ages to respond to, but its finally here.
Schlatts Shy Partner
Warning: Just Fluff and Cute Stuff
You liked to spend your time inside, or alone. With your pets. You didn't mind it as people brought anxiety, made you nervous, and you were just shy around others. But your boyfriend was more of the outgoing, performer, goofball type of personality. As much as you two were definitely opposites. An introvert and extrovert, or a hermit and extrovert. The two of you got along really well.
Anxiety at stores
Schlatt knows that going out on your own to stores or anywhere else made you dread going out. You didn't mind it but being alone, grocery shopping, or something of the like. The people made you anxious, even if they weren’t doing anything. Schlatt always makes sure to come with you or stay on the phone with you. Just make sure you're okay and he can remind you of things the two of you need while you're out and about. When he goes out with you, he's making sure he's always in your sight. Or Schlatt will hold onto your hand and let you drag him around the store. He loves holding your hand, when he notices you getting a bit anxious, he will squeeze your hand, and make sure you look at him, letting you know it's alright, and it's just some dumb anxiety.
Going out with Schlatt and friends
You only know a few of Schlatts friends, mostly his closest ones. Schlatt gets invited to get-togethers with people, parties, and stuff of that sort. He'll give you the rundown of what kind of event or thing it will be. Who you'll know will be there, and how many might be attending. Giving you the option to opt out of going if you want to.
And of course when Schlatt takes you to these things. His arm is always around you, unless of course, you're stepping away to grab food or doing something else.
need to hear about hockey reader and schlatts first time.
yes yes yeah
she's finally here guys,
thank you user kiddiesmores for acting as a vessel of the prophecy
15k words because im fucking insane, sorry
TW: typical college activities, hetero sex
BEGONE TUCKER 🐑🩸
-if you think he's putting out ez you'd be wrong
-when you suddenly materialized into his life, he did some snooping, asking around about #23 on the women's hockey team
-if he was going to be seeing you four days out of the week, he should probably find out if you're secretly some kind of psycho freak
-but when he asks around, it seems like he's already kind of late to the party, bc everyone he knows seems to at least know of you
-especially with the reputation you'd garnered on campus
-he'd learned a new word whilst asking around, conversation coming to a brief pause as he gives his friend a confused look
"What the fuck is a puck bunny?"
-charlie only glanced up from where he was tinkering with one of the robotics club's new projects with a coy smile,
"I'm gonna need you to take a look in the mirror, brother."
-the mischevious giggle that followed had schlatt sitting up straighter on his stool, reaching over to grab his phone
"Fuck you. What does that even mean? Fuck you." he spat as he rapidly typed the term, that he could only assume was offensive, into a search engine
-he presses his lips into a thin line and pegs an empty water bottle at charlie's head after reading the results
"I am no goddamn puckbunny." he huffed, crossing his arms over his chest, "And quite frankly, I'm offended that you've taken me for some common whore."
-charlie laughed again, bringing his hands down from where they had shot up to protect himself from schlatt's assault,
"I mean, I wouldn't blame you," he says with a shrug, looking over his friend as he squirmed, "You're telling me you would pass up that up, if you had the chance?"
-schlatt forced a scoff with a cocky shrug,
"Not 'round here, partner. I'm built different."
"You wouldn't know how to handle allat anyways." a voice pipes up from another table
-schlatt turned in his chair to glare at where the eavesdropper is biting back a smile, holding his hands up in defense and flips him the bird
"FUCK you, tucker."`
●・○・●・○・●・
-since the first time he heard it, the term had been haunting his narrative
-puck bunny?
-like, a groupie?
-surely not
-part of him didn't believe it, despite it being the way a solid five of his friends had heard of you
-surely you weren't a puck bunny, you just didn't give off those vibes
-and he didn't even know if the women's hockey team even had groupies like that
-that, and he just didn't think you were the hook-up type
-despite your cocky and aggressive nature on the ice, he's noticed you don't talk much outside of when you're with your team or with... him
-he found it almost comical how every ounce of your usual rowdiness leaves your body the moment you were without a friend by your side
[he tries to ignore his inkling sense of pride, but it has him sitting up a little straighter nonetheless]
-with your reserved nature, there's surely no way you're out here hooking up with randoms
-however, there is evidence that suggests otherwise (aside from what he'd heard from friends)
-the first incident is about a week into your comeback masterplan
-it's the morning after a successful game for the women's hockey team
-there's solid number of hungover students dragging their sorry asses to class after a night of celebrating the win
-he almost wants to point and laugh at his suffering peers, feeling beautifully rested after a long night's rest
-having gone directly home after the game and crawling into bed shortly after
-some of his smugness is zapped from him when he sees a cute blonde walking in the opposite direction as him, an obvious pep in her step
-he thought that the fact that she was his only equal in a sea of degenerates had caught his eye
-but as he looks her up and down, he bites back a scowl when he notes the fresh bruises and teeth marks littering her neck and what skin of her collarbone he could see, exposed by the baggy sweatshirt she was donning
-obviously not hers
-he'd been FOOLED
-yet another soul lost to the wills satan, damned for eternity for the sin of-
-his judgements (which he refused to admit were rooted in jealousy) came to a screeching halt
-wait a damn minute.
-that sweatshirt was very clearly not hers
-he stops in his tracks, doing a shameless double take of the sweatshirt swamping the blonde
-that looked oddly similar to a sweatshirt he's seen YOU wearing
-he's broken from his trance by another student bumping into him, grumbling at the brief scuffle before making his way into the lecture hall
-you make your way in five minutes after the lecture begins, as per usual
-he raises a brow when he sees you shivering in a thin long sleeve shirt as you wordlessly shuffle past the other people in the row
-he pretends not to look at the way your biceps bulge against the fabric as you drop your bag and adjust in your seat, rubbing your hands together for a moment before pressing your palms together and squeezing them between your thighs in an attempt to warm them up
"Thought hockey players didn't get cold?" he teases quietly, grinning when you side eye him as you try to suppress your shivering,
""s fuckin' brutal out there," you grumbled, using one of your hands to reach down and open your bag to grab your notebook
"That's what jackets are for, pleb."
-you only sigh in defeat, the cold having zapped too much of your energy to bother conjuring some clever comeback,
"No dip," you hiss, "Couldn't even find my fuckin sweater this morning."
●・○・●・○・●・
-there was another incident not much more than a handful of days later
-it'd been after you convinced him to move your session from the collaboration office to a nearby dining hall, because according to you
"If I don't get something in my stomach in the next three to five minutes I'm gonna start throwing things. And I mean it."
-he follows you around as you load up your plate, shaking his head no when you ask if he wants anything
-you were griping about some group project you had in english that you were slacking on as you were leading him to your table of choice
-but as the two of you were walking, you were interrupted by a sudden shout of your name
-you halted in your tracks, and he mindlessly walks into you, stumbling a bit after basically bouncing off of you, your stance unmoving
-he peaks over your shoulder to see who had stopped you, his brows raising at the sight of a cute brunette eagerly looking up at you over the rim of her glasses
"I'm so glad I caught you! I don't think you got my texts,"
-he watches your shoulders rise with an inhale as you wipe your palms on your sweats,
-an anxious habit of yours that he's picked up on the longer he's spent time with you
"Heyyy, you..."
-and he puts the pieces together, taking in your anxious tell and the girl standing in front of you, who had flagged you down in the middle of the dining area
-he has to rub a hand down his face to suppress a laugh
-there is no fucking WAY he's watching you get called out for ghosting a group project right in front of him
-this is too good to be true
"Yeah I, uh..." you pause and suck your teeth, glancing away for a moment
-and he can SEE the smoke pouring out of your ears as your primate brain kicks into overdrive
"My service is just... weird, I guess. I must not've gotten em."
"No, no, it's totally okay" she rushes out, her eyes shoot up and catch schlatt's and he quickly averts his own, a little guilty at being caught eavesdropping
"Umm, are you busy right now?"
-he watches you stand a little straighter and glance over your shoulder at him, something in your eyes shifting when you remember he was behind you
-and he shifts his weight from one foot to the other as he raises a single brow at you, obviously biting back a smile
-oh boy OH BOY
-here it comes!!!1!!
"Yeah! I'm actually here to do some tutoring right now, so..."
"Oh!" she chirps, "What for? I could probably help if you want-"
"Nahh, my tuition pays for him to be here." you insist, jabbing a thumb in his direction
-he watches as the girl's shoulder deflate, his own sagging as well
"Oh..."
-that's IT?
-where is the TEA? the DRAMA?
-he wants to see this girl crash out in a very real and serious way
-because he KNOWS how frustrating you can be in an academic setting, so he can only imagine what you'd be like as a groupmate
"Yeah, we should probably get going, actually. Time's a wastin'" you finish with an awkward laugh
"Oh, okay. I'll see you around, I guess..."
"Totally, totally... Later!" you call as you begin to walk away
-schlatt moves to follow, but you don't make it far before the girl reaches out and grabs your wrist,
"Hey, wait!"
-you look eyes shoot down to your wrist then back to her with a frown
-HERE IT IS
-he almost wants to applaud his fellow nerd for standing up
-there seriously does need to be some geek unity on this godforsaken campus-
-his train of thought comes to a screeching halt when he watches the girl look up at you hopefully, pulling her lower lip between her teeth before she continues, a little shyer,
"Text me?"
-when he watches your eye her up and down
-the corner of your mouth pulling into a little smirk
-he realizes this interaction is going in a FAR different direction than what he had assumed
"I'll see you around."
-with that, you pull your wrist from her grasp and walk away
-and schlatt is hot on your heels as he follows you to a table in a quiet corner
-practically throwing his bag into the booth before sliding in after it
-the moment he's sat, his nosey ass is running his mouth
"What the fuck was that?" he rushes out with a bewildered laugh
-you chuckle and shake your head as you slide into the booth across from him,
"Shit was weird, right?"
"Weird?" he repeats, bewildered
-he turns his head to look in the direction where the girl had walked off in, laughing when he sees her already looking in your table's direction from where she's sitting
"She wants you bad, bro."
-you roll your eyes with another laugh
"Everyone wants me." you proclaim cockily
-schlatt laughs, shaking his head
-usually he would make a comment to shoot you down a peg, but he'll give it to you this time, he supposes...
-game recognizes game
"So, what's the dame's name?"
-you hum, shifting in your seat so you can follow his eyes to where he's sitting,
"Honestly," he watches as you catch her eyes, one of your own dropping into a playful wink as your lips twitch into a grin and you send her a little wave
he watches her perk up in her seat and eagerly wave back
"I couldn't remember her name if you had a fuckin' gun to my head," you mutter with a laugh
-you glance back over to him, expecting him to be laughing with you, smile falling a little when you see he isn't even cracking a smile,
-as a matter of fact, he's doing the opposite
-his face set firmly into a judgmental frown
"What's it to you?" you ask, a little defensive
“You don’t even know her name?” he hisses
-you roll your eyes at his tone, scowling
“Does it matter?”
●・○・●・○・●・
-it was a damn shame that your douchey tendencies tarnished the romanticized version of you that lived in his head
-because much to his dismay
-as your three week comeback plan continued to unfold
-he’d found that maybe you’ve grown on him
-just a little
-after the first week of awkwardly quiet meetings where the only talking the two of you did was him answering your questions and an occasional biting comment, the two of you had grown fairly close
-you could call it forced proximity, but he has a feeling it’s a little deeper than that
-especially now that his friends have seemed to pick up on it
-he won’t even give anybody the chance to try and tease him
-loudly groaning and interrupting the conversation the second anything that could possibly pertain to you comes up
-maybe it was the way he was suddenly interested in tagging along to hockey games, but only for the women’s team
-or the way he’d print out all of your practice sheets ahead of time instead of emailing you the pdfs and having you print them yourself like he does with all of the other students he’s tutoring
-it could be the way he’ll drop what he’s doing the minute you text him, conversations coming to a hard stop when his phone goes off, anxiously checking to see if it was you
(and nobody believes him when he says it, but it usually is you)
-there’s also the fact that he steps out of the room the moment he sees your face peaking through the small window of the workshop door
-you’d picked up the habit of stopping by if his bi-weekly robotics meetings are still running after your practice lets out
-neither of you mention how the math and science building is well out of the way of the path to the student athletes housing
-but his fate was truly sealed the other day
-during your regularly scheduled session, you’d gotten a text from coach letting you know that practice had been canceled that day
-pickles, his beloved frenchie, had managed to eat an entire large pizza and an order of garlic knots and was suffering the consequences
-he watched you cheer, celebrating your newly found free time
-and in a brief moment of confidence, he offered to let you tag along with him to his robotics meeting
“If you don’t have anything better to do, of course.”
-he really did think you were joking when you took him up on it
-only realized you were quietly tailing him about half way through his walk
-he only knew you were there when he heard the crinkling of you unwrapping some sort of snack from behind him, whipping his head around and releasing a short shout when he sees you
“Jesus, they need to put a fucking bell on you,” he hissed, “Why are you following me?”
-he frowned when you looked at him like he was an idiot
“You told me to, douchebag.”
“What? When?”
-you click your tongue and give him another look, and he squirms a little, waiting for you to answer
“...When you asked me to come to your meeting… and I said yes?”
-he lets out a little “Ohhhhhh,”
“I didn’t think you’d actually wanna come.” he admits with a laugh
-you shrug and break into a light jog to catch up so you could walk beside him
“Nah, wanted to see that fat fuckin’ head of yours put to work.”
“I hope you know that I’ve reserved the right to revoke your invitation.”
-you only hum, lips twitching into a grin,
“You won’t.”
-when he opens the door, all of the chatter that could be heard from outside came to an abrupt stop
-all heads turning to where you followed schlatt into the workshop
-you awkwardly cough into your fist when nobody says anything to you, just staring silently
“Uh, what’s good mathletes?” you awkwardly try to break the ice
-beside you, schlatt sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose while his friends chuckle,
“Robotics.” he corrects
-your tongue presses to the side of your cheek with an almost imperceptible raise of your brow, and he could tell that you were doing everything in your power not to laugh
-had you two been alone, you’d have made some kind of joke about how you’re itching to rob him of his lunch money
-but in a room where you’re significantly outnumbered by not just nerds, but your cute tutor’s friends?
-you decide to secede with a hum
“Right, right. Robotics team.” you correct yourself, glancing at him out of the corner of your eye before looking back to the rest of the small group, “My bad.”
“No worries, man.” Charlie pipes up with a friendly smile, “You’re on the hockey team, right?”
“Yup, Number 23.”
-schlatt sends alex a dangerous glare from over your shoulder when he loudly coughs after choking on the water he was sipping
-you give him a weird look before wiping your hands on your joggers,
“Right. So, my practice was canceled tonight, and he said it was alright if I crash your meeting,” you explained, jabbing your thumb back in schlatt’s direction, “if that’s okay with y’all, of course”
-obviously, there was no protest
-schlatt rolls his eyes as he watches his peers push a few of the benches together
-eager to pick at the brain of the notorious #23, who had for some reason seemed to be wrapping their usually introverted friend around her finger
-however, you seem a lot less eager to boast about yourself as they had been expecting
-sitting there quietly as they all settle into their tasks for the day, waiting for you to start talking
-you look around, a little unsure of what to do with yourself
-maybe it’s a little cute to see you floundering outside of your element, sticking by him in an unfamiliar setting
-what the fuck were they building, a bomb?
-there were tools on the table that you had never seen before, and when you take a look at a paper nearby, it was filled with an almost unintelligible scrawl of numbers and symbols you didn’t even know existed
-he lets you squirm for a minute, occasionally glancing over to watch you fiddle with the fabric of your pants as you anxiously look at the array of parts and papers and pencils scrawled out in front of you
-you manage to catch his eyes once, and you send him a pleading look
-he only raises his brow, smug
“Yes?”
-you sigh, knowing that he’s going to force you to ask him eventually,
“Where do you want me?”
-charlie freezes in the middle of twisting a prong, glancing up at where you and schlatt are sitting across from him with wide eyes
-schlatt’s lip curl into a shit eating grin as he reaches for a ridiculously tiny screwdriver,
“Oh, I’ve got just the thing for you.”
-he assigns you the most dreaded task he could think of, having you twist tiny little screws into the stupidly small threaded holes of the 3d printed box they planned to fill with all of the guts and wiring of their new bot
-but the task comes as a relief, giving you something to do with your hands as you listen to the idle chatter of him and his friends, occasionally chipping in
-enjoying hanging with the gaggle of geeks more than you had been expecting to
-you were dragged into the conversation again when tucker inevitably started going on about his most recent pump,
“I see you in the gym all the time,” he says, getting your attention as he smiles at you from across the bench,
“You’re fuckin’ jacked man, we’ve gotta go sometime so you can show me what’s up.”
-you only grin, glancing up from where you have the piece of machinery you’ve been working away at in your lap,
“Oh for sure, I see you in there too,” and schlatt watches tucker light up like a goddamn christmas tree, “You’ll have to take it easy on me.”
-later on, the conversation takes a turn towards an upcoming competition that they had coming up, which you were eagerly invited to
“Wait, on the 12th?” you ask, deflating a bit, “I’ve got a game that day, I won’t be able to make it.” you say with a frown
-there’s a chorus of groans from the team, disappointed both by you being unable to attend their tournament, and them not being able to go to your game
-you frown, crossing your arms and teetering back in your chair as you think for a moment
“Well, what’re you guys doing for your celly?”
“Celly?” Jaiden repeats, cocking her head
“Celebration.” you elaborate
“Right, well it’s kinda up in the air because we haven’t, y’know, won yet.” schlatt attempts to be snarky
-frowning when you only you nod at him before turning back to the others
“Nice, well when you guys do, Phi Sig is throwing for the team. You guys should pull up.”
-there are some excited reactions from the team, but schlatt crosses his arms over his chest, leveling you with a suspicious look,
“You’re inviting us to a party to celebrate winning a game that you haven’t played yet? A little bold, don’t we think?”
-it wasn’t a popular take, for sure
-a direct invite to a Phi Sig party was a high honor around these parts
-and he remembers you saying something about the other team being “full ‘a fuckin benders” when he asked you about your upcoming game
-but he remained weary, not wanting to risk getting the team’s hopes up
-but you disregarded any anxieties he had when your lips curled into one of your infamous cocky grins, a quick glimpse of your on-ice persona
“That’s one way to put it.”
●・○・●・○・●・
-the function already seems to be in full swing by the time they arrive
-there’s already somebody passed out in the front yard of the house, surrounded by empty tweas
-you could hear the music and lively chatter coming from the house all the way from the street, windows lit up with colorful string LEDs
-schlatt sucks in a deep breath, following after his friends who are excitedly bouncing towards the house
-all of them proudly donning their matching windbreakers they had won at the tournament they had just returned from
-and part of him wants to turn tail and call it a night, just going back to his dorm after an exhausting day
-but he hears alex’s giddy giggle when they open the door, the quite frankly riotous volume of the party now being heard at full
-he steels himself and ducks in, following the group to the kitchen, trying to keep a headcount as they struggle to navigate through the rowdy crowd
-it’s a relief when it’s a little quieter in there, only a handful of people in there chatting and pouring themselves drinks, the music slightly muffled
-he finds a corner to situate himself in as his friends geek over the selection of alcohol set out
-he grins as charlie hands him a red solo cup filled with sprite and something that burns as it slides down his throat
“Jesus, what the fuck did you put in this?”
“Shut up and drink it, pussy.”
-he won’t argue with that
-he makes the mistake of looking out at the rest of the party over the rim of his cup as he gulps down some more
-needing some liquid courage after seeing a small group of guys pointing at their jackets and snickering
-he averts his eyes, deciding that it wasn’t his problem, looking in the living room where a large number of people have congregated around a game of beer pong
-some others dancing to the music playing over the speakers
-his eyes travel along the back wall, where some partygoers linger on the outer hedges of the crowd
-of course, his eyes are naturally drawn to you
-he chokes on his drink as he watches you lean down so that a redhead in scandalously tight jeans can whisper something your ear, your hand planted on the small of her back as you pull her closer
-he splutters and struggles to swat tucker away when he comes up and firmly pats him on the back ashe coughs
-when he recovers, he can’t help but look back to where he found you
-eyes going wide when he sees your eyes already on him as you lean in closer to whisper something yourself, lips curling into a charming smile when she pulls back with a laugh and you gently nudge her away
-he watches as you push off from the wall and make your way through the crowd and towards him, the throngs of people parting around you as you wade through with ease
-dressed in your jersey, lazily thrown over a hoodie and paired with a pair of baggy jeans
-he can tell by your flushed cheeks and toothy smile that spreads across your face when you enter the kitchen that you’re already decently tipsy
“What’s good, mathletes?!” you greet excitedly, happy to dap Charlie up as you walk in
-one of your teammates pops her head in after you with a confused grin
“Not the mathletes-” she laughed
“Aye, that’s robotics team to you.” you corrected her, schlatt’s eyes go wide when come closer to him and reach reach out and grab his shoulder
-easily turning him around to point out the back of his windbreaker, his face gets hot when he feels your finger drag across the poor quality printing on his back
“State champs.” you read proudly
“Damnnnn,” your teammate commends, nodding in approval
“I can drink to that!” another one of them who seemed to have materialized in the kitchen
-the rest of the party rushes by in a blur from that point on
-because the next thing he knows, he’s going shot for shot with the women’s hockey team’s captain while you cheer him on, your drink sloshing over the lid of your cup as your throw your arms up and cheer
-he doesn’t know why he thought he could go toe to toe with a carbed up athlete
-but it makes for a good time either way
-he won’t remember tomorrow, but with some firewater in his blood he was able to let loose and enjoy himself
-the only evidence of it will be blurry photos he finds in his camera roll and sent in the groupchat the next morning
-the next time he regains sentience, he finds himself out by the street, hunched over a trashcan and hurling up the big mac he had eaten on the way back to campus however many hours ago
-he doesn’t hear you walking up behind him
-nor did he notice you follow him out when you saw him stumbling towards the door, the friends he had come with too sloshed to notice his escape
“You alright there, big guy?” he hears you ask, an entertained lilt to your voice
-he only groaned and hung his head further into the bin
“You were goin’ pretty hard in there,” you tease
-and he raises his head to glare at you, bringing up a hand and using the back of it to wipe his mouth
“Fuck yeah I was.” he said proudly, swaying as he pushes himself to stand up again
“‘M not done yet-” he mumbles, and makes to walk back into the party
-unfortunately, he doesn’t make it very far
-your eyes go wide and one of your hands shoots out to grab a fistful of his shirt as a last ditch attempt to break his fall, but it doesn’t do much help
-he ends up flat on the ground with a stretched shirt, groaning up at the sky
-you, once again, aren’t much help beside him, still a little tipsy yourself, and cackling hard enough that you end up on the ground next to him
-he would have taken a moment to appreciate the sound if everything wasn’t spinning
“God, that was good” you sigh, wiping away stray tear
“I fuckin hate parties.” he grumbles
“Yeah, I’m sure you do.” you laugh
-his chest goes tight when your face comes into view, looking down at him from where you’re seated beside him with a teasing smile,
“You got somebody to bring you home?”
-he scowled, reaching up to push your face out of sight,
“Don’t need you ta fuckin bring me home-”
“Brother you are on the ground.”
“Fuck you.” he spits, moving to push himself off the ground, groaning once he’s sitting upright, “I can’t believe you let this happen.”
-you bark a laugh,
“Me?”
“Yeah, you.” he scoffs, once again wobbling as he gets back on his feet, “None ‘a this woulda fuckin happened if you- if you- if you just-”
-he pauses and presses his lips into a thin line, glaring at where you’re looking up at him from the ground
-emotions sworling and crashing together in his head, caught between enjoying your company and wanting you to leave so he can let his brain shut off as he lies on the cold concrete
-you watch as he struggles to string together a coherent thought together, laughing to yourself as you get off the ground with significantly less struggle
-and all of a sudden it feels a little too much like you’re laughing at him, anger flaring in his chest as he thinks back to the guys who had been snickering about his and his friend’s jacket earlier
-fucking student athletes and their stupid egos
-you’re no better than him, with your stupidly toned body and captivating smile
-once you’re standing, the two of you are nearly chest to chest
-if his brain wasn’t short circuiting before, it definitely was now
-his eyes widen and his chest goes a little tighter when it finally processes that you’re looking up at him thanks to the combination of your lack of added height without your skates and the close proximity
-he’s close enough to smell the liquor on your breath and the residual stench of pot mingling with your perfume
-it’s intoxicating enough that he doesn’t realize how hard he’s staring at your lips as they stretch into an amused smile
“You were saying?”
-his eyes dart back up to yours, face growing hot when he realizes he’s been caught
-if he were a little more sentient right now, he would articulate just how badly you piss him off
-how much it frustrates him that he is simply unable to dislike you, no matter how he wishes he could (and probably should)
-with your stupid cocky attitude and smug smiles
-and your frankly unfairly great sense of humor that gets the two of you weird looks when you have him cracking up in the collaboration office
-or how easily you’ve slotted yourself into nearly every aspect of his life, somehow weaseling your way into his academics, his work, his social circle, his entire goddamn psyche
-worst of them all, he hates how you toy with him
-and he hates how he lets you
-your eyes go a little wide when he leans in close, feeling his breath brush across your lips with the proximity
-you make no move to pull away
-and maybe that’s his final straw
“Fuck. You.”
-the two of you remain standing close like that for a moment
-he flushes as your eyes bore into his own, searching for something, but he stands his ground, staring right back
-he frowns when you laugh in his face,
“Yeah, I thought you’d say something like that.”
-you suck in a deep breath and glance away, shoving your hands into your pockets and teetering on the balls of your feet,
“Listen, you can feel… however you want about me,” You pause and meet his eyes again, “The main concern right now is gettin you somewhere safe, so you’re not sleeping on the turf tonight. Now c’mon, it’s fucking cold out.”
-you reach out and grab the sleeve of his windbreaker, and attempt to pull him along with you as you try to walk away
-but he remains firmly in place
-you frown a little and tug his sleeve,
“What’re you doing? Let’s go,” you insist, nodding your head in the direction that you were trying to lead him to
-he narrows his eyes at you, caught between enjoying you tugging him around and being pissed that your entitled ass just assumes he’ll follow you just because you told him to
“Where’re you takin me?” he slurred
-you gave him a weird look, eyes darting from him to the front door of the house as another partygoer stumbles out and leans over the handrail to puke into a bush, then back to him
“Umm, probably my place-”
-you’re cut off by him scoffing and dramatically ripping his sleeve from your grasp,
“Fuck that, ‘m not going home with you.”
-you laugh a little, unsure of what he’s getting at,
“Umm, well I don’t really know how to get to yours, but if you think you can lead-”
“No, no. ‘M not going anywhere with you.” he mumbles petulantly, crossing his arms over his chest
-you sigh, bringing up a hand to pinch the bridge of your nose before letting it flop back at your side,
“Why are you being so difficult right now?”
“Fuck you.”
-he watches as the last ounce of patience leaves your body, glaring up at him as you run your tongue over your teeth to keep from saying anything you shouldn’t
“Y’know what? Fine, be like that. Have fun with the raccoons, dickhead.”
-and with that, he watches as you walk away without as much as a glance over your shoulder
-and his brain is going a mile a minute as he watches you get further away, part of him expecting you to turn around
-when you don’t, something ugly stirs in his chest, and he just can’t let you walk away with the final word
“I’m not some fucking puck bunny!” he calls after you
-he blanches when it comes out, but resists clapping an embarrassed hand over his mouth
-that did not sound as hard as it did in his head
-his face gets embarrassingly hot when he sees you stop in your tracks and look at him over your shoulder, bewildered
“...What?”
-and he knows he should just shut his fat fucking mouth
-but he’s drunk and he’s angry and you’re right there and once he starts he just can’t stop
“I’m not just gonna do whatever you say jus’ for you ta fuckin pretend I don’t exist after you get what you want.”
-he stops when you fully turn around to face him again, thoughtfully looking him over before you speak,
“And what is it that you think I want from you?”
-he doesn’t say anything, jaw clenching as he keeps his eyes firmly set on you
-he knows that you know what he’s talking about
-you sigh at his lack of response, bringing a hand up to adjust your hair before you speak
“Listen,” you sigh
“If I just wanted to fuck you, I already would have. Plain and simple.”
-you watch as his face morphs from anger to confusion, a small smile twitching on your lips as you watch the cogs in his brain turn before turning back around with a shrug and continuing on your way
-he stands there, watching dumbly as you walk away
-but he hears a quiet laugh before you’re calling to him over your shoulder,
“You coming or what?”
-you shake your head with a smile when you hear heavy footsteps quickly approaching you from behind
●・○・●・○・●・
-the rest of the walk is spent in awkward silence
-well, awkward for schlatt
-you seem to have no issue with quietly walking side by side
-but his mind is elsewhere, thoughts racing by too fast for him to pick one and stick to it
-you chuckle a little when you see him dazedly staring at the open elevator door in front of him, giving him a second to see if he notices
-when he doesn’t, you lightly push him with a hand on the small of his back before following him in
-neither of you say anything until you enter your student apartment
-schlatt takes off his shoes on the doorway, leaning against the wall so he doesn’t topple over as he unties his sneakers
-you lazily kick your own shoes off before making your way into the kitchen, schlatt on your heels
-he bumps into your back when you stop abruptly
-he follows your eyes to where you’re looking, finding your roommate standing in front of the fridge in her jammas, bag of popcorn in hand as she sends both of you a nasty glare
“Heyyyy Clair-”
“Who is that?” she interrupts, eyes boring into Jay’s soul
-he flounders, mouth falling open and snapping shut a few times as he tries to find something to say
-before he gets the chance to say anything, she’s turning back to you and heaving a disappointed sigh,
“I thought we agreed to no more groupies in the dorm.”
-you blanch as you now feel two sets of angry eyes on you
“He’s not a groupie!” you rush out, “Scout’s honor!”
-Claire only sighs, shaking her head as she turns to begin walking to her room,
“Just keep it down tonight, please.”
-after her bedroom door shut, you turn to face Jay, who had been glaring at the back of your head, with a guilty smile
-and he would have given you hell for it if he didn’t feel his stomach churn, clapping a hand over his mouth
-your eyes shoot open and you’re like “Oh shit”, dragging him to your shared bathroom
-you stand there a little awkwardly, watching him wretch over the bowl for a moment
“Alright, ummm…” you scratch the back of your neck, “I’ll be right back. Don’t die.”
-he grumbles something indecipherable from where he’s hunched over and you take it as an okay to leave
-when you return a few minutes later in your jammas with a bottle of water, he’s seated on the floor with his back against the cabinet
-you nudge the side of his head with the bottle and he grumbles and snatches it out of your hand, guzzling half of it as you settle across from him against the bathtub, just watching him
-he groans obnoxiously once he decides he’s had enough, placing the now crunched bottle on the floor next to him and watching you back
-after a moment of silence you glance away and anxiously rub your hands over the fabric of your bottoms
-and he has to admit that you look awfully cute in your oversized t-shirt and flannel pants
“So…” you start awkwardly, “How’re we feeling?”
-he quirks an unentertained brow and presses his tongue to the side of his cheek before responding,
“Why don’t you give me your best guess.”
-you give a quiet laugh before responding,
“Well, you look like shit”
-he can’t help but roll his eyes and laugh alongside you, some of the drunken haze beginning to clear away as he sits on the cool tiles of your bathroom floor
“I mean, can’t be too bad if I’m here, right?”
-you only hum, pulling a knee up to your chest and resting your chin on it and looking back down at the tiles
-another beat of awkward silence passes
-schlatt is struggling to come up with another witty comment to make you laugh
-something charming and funny that’s sure to convince you that he’s worth your while
-and it’s on the tip of his tongue, but just as he goes to open his mouth, you’re looking back up at him
“I really like you.”
….
FUCK
-FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCJ
-his eyes go impossibly wide and he claps a hand over his mouth hard enough that his head knocks back against the cabinet
-he does not know WHAT possessed him to say that
-but the humiliation only sinks in further when your shoulders shake with a quiet laugh
“Yeah, I know.” you wear another amused smile and give a coy shrug, “Cat’s outta the bag.”
-schlatt is significantly less entertained as the hand clapped over his lower face drops to his side and his lips part to allow his mouth to hang open dumbly as he stares at you
“What?”
-he really thought he had been sooo cool and chill and subtle about it
-how the fuck did you know?
-how long have you known?
-did somebody tell you???
-DO YOU THINK HE’S A WEIRDO PERV FREAK?
-before he got the chance to spiral any further, you’re speaking again,
“No worries, man. I like you too.”
-another pause
-he sits there for a moment, wide eyed and completely still
“WHA-”
-his shout is muffled by you shooting forward to cover his mouth with your own hand
-he groans when the force knocks his head back against the cabinet once more
“Shut the fuck up, my roommate is sleeping.” you hiss
-you watch as his eyes crinkle and feel his lips spread into a smile under your hand before he says something that’s muffled by aforementioned hand
-you laugh and remove your hand, wiping any spittle he had unintentionally left there off on his shirt,
“So you have a crush on me.” he confirmed aloud, grinning when you nod
“That’s mad embarrassing.”
-his cheeks hurt from how wide he’s smiling at you as you roll your eyes
“Fuckin’ tell me about it.”
-there’s another beat of silence, significantly less awkward this time as the two of you take a moment to breathe a little easier now that the tension that’s been plaguing both of you in the past weeks has finally been acknowledged
-Schlatt is the first to break it, still a little confident with his lingering buzz
“So…” he starts, “What now?”
-you sigh with another shrug,
“I dunno, it doesn’t have to be like,, serious or anything.”
-he hums, nodding his head with a thoughtful expression as he shifts a little anxiously
-he’d worried about you saying something along those lines, your promiscuous history nagging at him from the back of his mind
-no judgment or anything, but a “casual” relationship might destroy him, especially with how off kilter you’ve had him with just a crush
-it’s a matter of self preservation, because he knows you have the potential to ruin his life and he would let you
-you watch as he brings his his hands up and presses his fingers together as he struggles to find a way to articulate himself without sounding like an ass
-ESPECIALLY with his major fuck up earlier (even though it seems to have worked out in his favor thus far)
“I don’t think I’d be down for anything that wasn’t… serious.” he made sure to say it slowly, cautiously, sure to articulate himself in a manner that wouldn’t disturb the serene atmosphere in the bathroom
-his face falls when he hears you suck in a sharp breath through your teeth,
“Right, I figured you’d say something like that. Um,”
-he watches as you sigh and tilt your head back to look at the ceiling like it has the answers written on it (ignoring how soft the newly exposed expanse of skin looks, muscles flexing underneath as you nervously swallow)
“I’m going to keep it real with you, this is one of the best seasons the team’s had in a long time,” you start, your eyes once again landing on schlatt who nods, urging you to continue
“And right now, I’m not willing to risk having any new distractions to throw me off my game, especially with the end of the season coming up. That, and the fact that I don’t want to end up disappointing you by making any… commitments, that I frankly don’t have the time for right now.”
-Once it seems like you’re finished, schlatt nods again with an understanding hum
-despite not really understanding what you’re getting at
-ARE YOU REJECTING HIM OR NOT, WOMAN?
-GOD
-he watches you bite back a smile, but it was hard to do with how braindead he looked as he tried to decipher what you were saying
“So what that means is that if you’re willing to hold out until the end of the season….”
-you pause and look at him expectantly, waiting for it to click
“Oh… OH!” and suddenly he’s sitting up a little straighter and bright eyed
-he catches himself getting a little too excited and reels it back in, leaning back against the cabinet with a casual shrug,
“I guess that could work…” he hums thoughtfully, stroking the chair on his chin, “But I’d like to make it very clear that you will be the one holding out.”
-now it’s your turn so sit up a little straighter, eyes lighting up as you sense the challenge in is tone
“Yeah?” you ask, tongue darting out to wet your bottom lip as you look him up and down
-he blushes but matches your energy, a rogue grin coming to spread across his lips
“Yeah.”
●・○・●・○・●・
-you would think that having that conversation would have cleared the air a bit, releasing some of the tension that had been building
-but it most definitely did not.
-as a matter of fact, it seemed to do the exact opposite
-it was brutal, really, being torn between wanting nothing more than to jump your bones the minute the two of you are alone and wanting to beat you in this stupid fucking challenge that he set
-this combined with your sessions becoming less frequent with the end of the season growing closer, and you deciding to make it your personal mission to make his life difficult, made for an incredibly difficult week
-but he wouldn’t deny that he was enjoying the new attention
-it was like the less he saw you, the more forward you became
-growing more determined to break him the closer you got to your final game
-admittedly, he was holding out a little better than you had initially expected
-holding strong when you decided to sit next to him during your tutoring session instead of across from him like you usually would
-pressing the strong line of your thigh against his, the smell of your shampoo clouding his thoughts as he struggled to explain what a quotient was for the thousandth time
-showing up to sit in on his robotics meeting in a compression shirt that has him stumbling over his words every time he snuck a glance at you
-it definitely did not help that almost every time he did, he found that your eyes were already set on him, unmoving when he meets your gaze
-though that’s not to say that it was a cakewalk for you
-the dry spell was brutal, especially considering that beforehand you were getting laid pretty consistently
-the more time that passed, the more desperate you became
-getting to the point where even the smallest things left you reeling
-though you’d rather god strike you dead on the spot than admit it
-but that fucker was already onto you and you knew it
-you could tell by his self satisfied smile after he watched you squirm as he praised you for passing your most recent exam
-or hovering close enough to you that you can can smell his cologne and feel the heat that the warm mass of his body was throwing off
-he’d also stopped bothering to hide his brazen stares, only giving you a toothy grin when you turn and catch his his eyes firmly planted on your ass
-it soon became painfully clear that one of you had to break, and soon
-it’s just funny because
-neither of you expected it to be you
●・○・●・○・●・
-it’d been an unusually free day for both of you, with most of campus being shut down due to a snow storm rolling in
-you’d taken advantage of it, sleeping in until about noon and waking up to flurries of snow falling from the sky and the sound of your roommate watching jersey shore
-you grumble and roll over, ready to go back to sleep until you hear your phone buzz on your nightstand
-you sigh and sit up, running a hand through your hair to get it out of your face before picking it up, a sleepy smile stretching across your lips when you see who had been blowing up your phone
smartfella 🤓: hi 🧍🏻♀️
smartfella 🤓: hey lol
smartfella 🤓: u still down to study today or na
smartfella 🤓: a little snow cant stop the grind 💪
fartsmella 🍖: wtf r u talking about
fartsmella 🍖: collaboration office is closed 2day u fool
-you watch his typing bubble pop up and disappear a few times before you receive a response
smartfella 🤓: since when is the collaboration office a concern
smartfella 🤓: we’ve only actually studied there like twice
fartsmella 🍖: what does this have to do with me
smartfella 🤓: 😐
smartfella 🤓: come over
fartsmella 🍖: k
-schlatt lets out a small laugh when he reads your response, a little surprise at how little convincing it took
-but stops laughing when the reality of you coming over sets in
-he panics and lunges out of bed, stumbling due to his legs being tangled in his blankets
-he hurried to make his bed before scurrying around his room to gather any trash he could find before rushing out into the common room, where ted was lounging on the couch
-his roommate’s eyes go a little wide when he sees how frazzled schlatt looks, shouting indignantly when he tears the blanket off of his lap before folding it and throwing it over the back of the couch,
“What the hell, man?!”
-schlatt doesn’t even look over at him as he quickly makes his way to the windows, opening them up and making a desperate attempt to waft out any unpleasant boy smell that may be lingering in the dorm,
“You need to leave.”
“What?”
-ted yelps when schlatt makes his way back over to him and tries to drag him off of the couch
-it quickly turns into a match of slapbox as the two bicker,
“You need to get the hell out of here man-”
“The fuck are you talking about, I live here!”
“Just get the fuck out, please”
“Dude, you can’t just-”
-both of them freeze when they hear two sharp knocks on the door
-eyes darting from each other, then to the door, then back to each other
-before schlatt even has the chance to think, ted is taking advantage of the distraction and shoving him to the floor, sending him stumbling back into the coffee table and knocking his elbow before landing on his ass
-but he gets up impressively fast when he sees ted making his way to the door and hurdles himself after him, hot on his heels
-but he wasn’t fast enough, his eyes going wider when he sees ted’s hand turning the knob
“Wait-”
-but before he can continue to plead, ted is swinging the door open
-silence falls over the dorm once more when ted opens the door
-finding you standing in the hallway
-dressed in a pair of snoopy pajama pants and your team jacket, having just thrown it on over your jammas after rolling out of bed and leaving
-you give the tall stranger in front of you a weird look as he just stares down at you -before glancing back to where schlatt was standing closely behind him, looking a little exasperated
-why do his friends always do odd shit like this??
“Uh, Hey.” you try to break the silence
-ted doesn’t respond, only slowly turning his head back to schlatt with a shit eating grin that has his ears turning red
“Just ignore him” Schlatt pleaded
-you only raise your brows, eyes darting between the two men in front of you,
“Right, so are you gonna let me in? Or…”
“Oh! Right, sorry.” ted secedes, stepping out of the way to let you walk in,
“It’s nice to finally put a face to the name, I’m Ted.” he introduces himself with a grin, holding a hand out for you to shake
-you take it, giving it a firm shake as you awkwardly laugh,
“Haha…. what?”
-you’re about to make a comment about how weird the whole interaction has been, but stop when you hear quiet hissing and rustling fabric behind you
-you glance over your shoulder and barely catch schlatt aggressively mouthing something at his roommate before he realizes you’re looking at him and gives you an awkward smile
-your attention is brought back to Ted when he releases your hand,
“Well, I was just about to head out, you kids have fun!” he chirps, before walking out into the hallway and closing the door behind him without another word
-you and schlatt are left in silence for a moment,
“... He didn’t put any shoes on.”
“That’s his problem.”
“That’s foul.”
-you take a moment to briefly glance around, grimacing a bit when you realize just how much nicer the student athlete housing is in comparison
“Damn ma, you live like this?”
-he can’t help but let a laugh slip,
“Welcome to gen pop.”
“Is it legal for them to have you guys in here without heat??” you asked, briskly rubbing your arms in an attempt to warm up after your cold walk to a colder apartment
“No, uhh… the windows are open.”
-both of you turn to look at the aforementioned window as another cold gust of wind blew in
“Why?”
“Don’t worry about it.”
-you laugh before kicking off your shoes and taking off your jacket before making your way further inside
-you make yourself at home, flopping onto the common room couch
-schlatt follows after you, remaining standing and looking down at you as get comfortable
-gulping when your t-shirt rides up and exposes a sliver your midriff as you lazily slouch
“So you invite me over to freeze and do math? That’s fucked.”
-he chuckles, shaking his head and doing one last scan of the apartment to make sure any embarrassing items are put away and out of sight
-you say something else as he does, but he doesn’t process it
-instead, his eyes are firmly locked on the awful anime poster he and ted ironically put on display on the back wall
-paling when he sees the grotesquely large breasts hanging off of the small anime girl on the poster
-you frown when you see him staring straight over your head, face pale and eyes wide, like he had just seen a ghost,
“Dude, what is your problem?” you ask, moving to turn to see what he was looking at, but pausing when he speaks again
“Weshouldgotomyroom”
-he blurted out the first thing that came to mind, desperate to keep your attention away from the humiliating poster
-part of him wants to breathe a sigh of relief when you turn back to fully face him, leveling him with a confused look,
“What?”
-you watch him flounder for a moment
-trying to direct you to his room, away from any chances of seeing the poster, without being suspicious
-any thoughts of anything vaguely suggestive had been completely cleared from his head, solely focused on the task at hand
-but you frown, cocking your head as you look up at him and try to figure out what he’s up to
-because it’s obvious that something has him antsy
“You…” you start slowly, “Want me… to go to your room?” you ask to confirm
-just to make sure
-bc not to be a horndog but like,,, why else would he be rushing you to his room after kicking his roommate out
“Yeah, yeah, it’ll be uhhh,, less cold in there.”
-he wonders if he’d been caught when your brows briefly raise
-but you follow it with a shrug
“Alright, lead the way.”
-you laugh, a little confused when he comes over and grabs your forearm to drag you off the couch,
“This is new” you simper, and go to look at him over your shoulder once you’re standing, -but he puts a hand on the small of your back and gives you a rough shove before you get the chance to see the poster, sending you stumbling a bit
“Jesus, I’m going!”
-you walk up to what you’d assumed was his door, and you were about to turn and ask to make sure it was the right one
-but he reaches past you, briefly trapping you between his broad chest and the door, before turning the knob himself and pushing it open, allowing you to walk in ahead of him
-you awkwardly stand in the middle of the room, waiting for him to do something
-you watch as he makes his way over to his desk and comfortably leans back on it, crossing his arms over his chest
-observing you observing him
-something in his chest warms at the sight of you in his space, a small smile spreading across his lips
-you feel your cheeks warm under his gaze and look away, trying to find something to take your attention off of him
-because the longer you look at him the more you feel like you need to be chained to a tree like a goddamn werewolf
-he looks stupidly good for just being in basketball shorts and an old tshirt
-the tendons of his forearms flexing where they’re crossed over his chest
-you can see a glimpse of the meat of his upper thigh with how he’s splaying them on the desk
-with that stupid little smile of his, some of his gorgeous curls falling over his falling over his forehead
-you wipe your palms over the fabric of your pants, hoping to quell the itch to reach out and touch but it doesn’t do much help
-you cough into your fist before matching his stance, crossing your arms as you make it a point to look around
-taking in the variety of band posters and trinkets he has laying about
“‘S cute in here.” you mumble, daring a glance back at him
-and it was a goddamn mistake
-you watch as his small smile curls into something cockier as he slightly tilts his head to the side
-maybe something about you being in his territory has him feeling a little more confidence in himself
-it has you swallowing thickly as he shamelessly eyes you before they slowly trail back up to meet your own
-it may also have something to do with how good he looks
-or how you haven’t gotten any in weeks
-or the cocky lilt to his voice when he speaks
“Yeah?”
-and that’s all it takes to finally crumble your resolve
-before he even has the time to process what’s happening, you’re storming towards him
-he’s looking at you with wide eyes as you plant your hands on the desk behind him, trapping him there as you bully your way between his thighs before crashing your mouth into his hard enough that your teeth clack
-he can’t do much more than groan into it and reach a hand up to squeeze your waist, sighing as your tongue slips between his lips and one of your hands shifts to grab the underside of his thigh and drag him closer to the edge of the desk
-he gasps when the other comes up to cup the side of his face before slipping behind his neck and knotting into the hair at the base of his skull, roughly tugging his head back to press a trail of wet kisses down the column of his throat
-he brings one of his own hands up to bury itself in your hair as he tilts his head back to grant you more access
-releasing a startled moan when you sharply nip at the soft skin when he gives your own hair an experimental tug
-when he feels your hand begin to snake its way further up his thigh he’s pulling back a bit,
“Hey, wait-” he tries, using his hand in your hair to pull you away from his neck, groaning when you surge forward for another kiss that he forces himself to pull out of, whimpering when you catch his bottom lip between your teeth before releasing it with a pop
“What?” you snap impatiently, but it’s awfully hard to take you seriously with your glazed eyes and swollen, spit slick lips
“T-The deal,” he struggles to get it out, chest heaving as he tries to pull himself back together, “What about the deal?”
-anxiety twinges in his chest when you look at him like he’s stupid,
“Your deal?” you correct, clicking your tongue when he gives you a demure nod
“I could not care any less about that stupid fuckin’ thing.” you grumble before trying to lean back in for more
-you glance back up to his face when he shifts to bring a hand up to your shoulder to stop you, frowning when you see his smug grin
“You do realize that this means I win, right?”
-you only scowl,
“Is that really what you’re thinking about right now?”
-he only laughs, bringing both of his hands to grab your hips to try and pull you close again,
“‘M sorry, c’mere” he murmurs, grinning when he sees a smile begin to spread across your lips, despite you rolling your eyes as you allow him to drag you towards him
-this kiss is far less frantic, both of you smiling and sighing into it as his arms come to wrap around your waist, your hands coming up to cup the sides of his face
-you grumble indignantly when you feel him pulling away again, frowning when you feel him unwrap his arms from around you
-but you quit your whining when he uses the newly freed space to stand to his full height before leaning back down to plant another grossly wet kiss on your forehead before squeezing you to his chest in a tight bear hug
-both of you devolve into giggles as he attempts to shuffle towards his bed, struggling as you go limp in his arms to make his life difficult, along with attempting to weave through the laundry he had lying on the floor
-when you finally reach the twin xl, he releases you from his grasp, moving his hands to grab the underside of your thighs, hoisting you onto the bed before climbing up after you
-once he’s up there, you make quick work of straddling him, releasing a self satisfied hum once you’re comfortably perched in his lap
-you smile when you see him looking up at you, a little star struck as he takes you in
-blushing a little when he continues to shamelessly stare as you glare at him
“Dude, what is your problem?”
“You are so fucking hot.” he breathes without missing a beat
-you only nod with a shy smile, a little awkward
“Thanks playa.”
-he laughs before leaning forward for another kiss, and you’re happy to indulge him, pressing forward so that he can feel your chest pressed against his own and reaching one of your hands to bury itself back in his hair
-the other makes to grab one of his wrists, guiding his hand to your lower back, happily sighing when he grabs a firm handful of your ass and groans
-it isn’t long until the his free hand slipped under your shirt, sighing into your mouth when he feels the strong muscles of your back shift under smooth skin as you grind into his lap
-you hum against his lips and grin into the kiss before pulling back, catching your breath with a toothy smile before reaching down to pull your shirt over your head
-you eagerly lean back in for more, glaring when he stops you with a hand to your waist
-he curses under his breath, and you feel him shift under you so he could lean back to get a better view of you
“Fuuuuck,” he breathes, running a hand up from where it hand gone to rest on your hip back up to your waist, grabbing it hard enough to bruise, strong fingers pressing into the firm muscle there
-You laugh, slightly abashed at how openly he was admiring you
-but you don’t let it stop you from taking his wrist and using it to guide his hand to paw at your chest, gasping when he shifts forward to press his mouth to the newly exposed skin, grinning at your quiet laughter as his facial hair rubs against you
-your moan harmonizes with his as he sinks his teeth into the meat of your shoulder before pulling back to admire his handiwork
-frowning when he sees that not too far from the angry red indents his teeth had left
-were very faint red marks that dragged all the way down to your lower traps
-he quickly pulls back and gives you a bewildered look, eyes wide
-your eyes get just as wide, if not bigger as you scramble to defend yourself
-having already known what the hold up was
“Hold on- Those are mad old, on my mother’s soul.”
“Don’t bring your mother into this,” he scolds before leaning back and looking at your other shoulder, finding similar markings there,
“How old?” he asked cautiously
“Pre-comeback,” you promise, “And she was fucking crazy.”
he raises an entertained brow as he looks down at you, “Good crazy or bad crazy?”
-you paused, taking a moment to hum thoughtfully before answering,
“A little bit of both?”
-he pulled away for a moment to narrow his eyes at you before grumbling a quick “‘s fine.” before resuming his assault on your neck and shoulders
-you laughed a little as you felt him sucking and biting new marks of his own into your skin to quell the jealousy churning in his stomach
-it wasn’t long before he was trying to slip his hand down the front of your pants, coming to a sharp stop when he hears you speak
“Wait-”
-he frowns when you grab his wrist, stopping him
-he looks up to gage your expression, releasing the breath he had been holding when he sees you eagerly looking down at him
“Can I take your pants off?”
-he takes his hands off of you, instead opting to recline back onto the bed and folding his fold em, bringing them behind his head so he can rest on them
-you gasp when you feel his bulge press against you as his hips shift as he readjusts, face reaching a quite frankly humiliating temp when you see his stupid cocky grin
“I thought you’d never ask,”
-you scowl as you crawl off of him, moving back to kneel between his legs
“Don’t do that again.”
-he goes BRIGHT fucking red when you move to grab him underneath both of his knees and momentarily push them up, making quick work of effortlessly removing his pants for him before tossing them somewhere random in the room
“The basket was right there.” he scolds you, a desperate attempt to regain some of his dignity
“Shut up.”
-he goes to argue, make a comment about how bossy you’re being, but his mouth snaps shut as you move to comfortably kneel on your haunches, muscles of your thighs bulging with the new position
-you set him down on your lap, his ass planted firmly between your strong thighs with his legs hanging over your hips
-he gasps as you hum, running your hand from where it rested on top of his thigh up to the hem of his shirt, toying with it a moment before moving to pushing it up under his chin, exposing his chest
-his face somehow gets more red, and he resists the urge to bring his hands up to cover his himself like some blushing virgin
-you let out another hum as you run your hands up and down his sides before bringing them to rest on his hips
-he bites back a whimper when he feels your one of your hands move down to paw at his bulge, cooing at the small dark spot where pre had leaked through his boxers
“This wet from a little kissing, baby?” you mock with a little laugh
-your head snaps up, brows raised toward your hairline when you hear him release a barking laugh followed followed with a “What the fuck?”
-he can’t help but let it get away from him, devolving into a fit of laughter as he brings his hands to cover his face, “Oh my god, what the fuck?”
-you laugh a bit as well, bringing your hands away from his crotch to rest near his knees, thumb running over the soft hair there
“What?” you urge
“Nothing, nothing,” he laughs, struggling to catch his breath, “Jus haven’t really done…” he pauses to motion to where he was splayed in your lap “this before”
-your eyes go wide and you take your hands off his knees like the skin had burned you
“Fuck, you’re not a virgin, are you?”
“Do I look like a virgin to you?”
-he scowls when you don’t answer
“Fuck off. ‘m not a fuckin virgin.”
“Sounds like something a virgin would say.” you tease, laughing when he glares at you, “Sorry, sorry. I think I know what you’re talking about.”
“Yeah, I just uh,, never been on this end before, I guess.” he admits
“Mhm,” you hum understandingly, hand coming to absentmindedly pet along the outside of his thigh as you observe him, “Do you like it?”
-he blushes, anxiously shifting his hips where they rest in your lap, dick straining against his boxers as the dark spot gradually grows larger
“I think I do…” he admits, a little shy
-you hum again, hand rubbing a little further up his thigh as your eyes rove over his body, stopping at his eyes, “I think you do too,”
- he feels his brain go gooey as your lips curl into a predatory smile as you move both of your hands to grab at his squirming hips
“I think you like it a lot.” you look back up at him through your lashes
“‘S a shame I thought you would’ve put up more of a fight, didn’t think to bring my fuckin strap.” you grumbled
-you gave him another confused look when he scrambled to pull himself out of your lap, eyes wide
“Hold the fuck up- Your what?”
-you look at him like he’s an idiot before speaking again,
“I- What? My strap, what do you think this is?”
“I definitely didn’t wake up this morning thinking I’d be getting fucking pegged!”
“I mean, I didn’t think I’d touch a dick today but you don’t hear me complaining.”
“Oh, fuck you.” he scoffs,
-you run a frustrated hand through your hair, angrily throwing your other hand in the air,
“If you’d fucking let me.”
-he lets out a disbelieving laugh as you frown at him
“Well, what now?” you ask impatiently
“What’re you talking about?”
“I don’t really know what else you want me to do, so…”
-schlatt gapes at you for a moment, hands flailing as he struggles to pull his thoughts together
“I- You- I thought we were fucking?”
“Fucking how?” you snap
“I thought I was gonna fuck you, dipshit.”
-he bites back a laugh when he sees you malfunction for a moment, mouth falling open and snapping shut a few times as your cheeks heat up
“Is that okay?” he asks, a teasing lilt to his voice
“... I guess I can work with that, “ you start, “Hold on, here-”
-you move to tug him back from where he had scrambled back on the bed so that he was once again sitting with his legs splayed out, and you moved to sit back between his legs
-one of your hands reaches for the band of his boxers, you glance up at him for assurance, continuing when he gives you a short nod
-he pretends not to be offended when you flinch back after his cock springs out of his boxers when you pull them down,
-cooing as it twitches and drools more pre onto the skin below his belly button when you delicately run your finger from the base to the tip
“You have a condom?” you asked, looking up at him
“You don’t have one?” he asked a little incredulously
“Not ‘round here, partner.”
-he dramatically sighed as he stretched to rifle through his bedside cabinet, tossing the condom he had thankfully stolen from the front desk of the health office the other day at you
-you catch it with ease, bringing it to your mouth to tear the packaging open with your teeth before delicately taking the latex ring out of the packaging, looking at it curiously
-he sucks in a sharp breath when your free hand comes to grab the base of his cock a little firmer than he would have expected, watching the cogs in your brain turn as you intensely stare at it
“All good?” he asks
“Yeah, just don’t look at me,” you request with a laugh, which he returns until he sees your face drop and you look at him expectantly,
“Oh, uh, okay..?” he says, a little confused, but willing to tilt his head back to the ceiling, throwing an arm over his eyes when the urge to look grows too strong for him to resist
-he’s gasping, his hips jumping as he feels you fiddle with the condom on his tip, growing antsy the longer you seemed to just be fucking around
-he sits up with a shout when something, he doesn’t even fucking know what, pulls painfully,
“Jesus!” He snaps, “The fuck’re you doing down there?”
-he glares when you laugh a little, holding your hands up in defeat as you look at him with a guilty smile, like you were caught in an act,
“My bad man,” you laugh a little, “Kinda used to, uh… working with a different set ‘a parts, here.” you admit
“Hold on-” he starts, quickly sitting back up to look at you with wide eyes,
“What?” his eyes dart from where your hand is still wrapped around him, to your other hand that’s holding the now slightly unraveled condom
“Is this… not kind of a big deal?” he asks, a little unsure
-you narrow your eyes at him, lips twitching into a wry smile,
“Don’t flatter yourself. Jus’ put the condom on, big guy.”
-he laughs and thoughtlessly does as you say
-brain mushy as looks up at you as you move to straddle him again, eyes going a little wide when you reach back and wrap your hand around his length and moving to align yourself with the tip
“WOAH- Alright- Slow your roll there, no prep is fucking crazy. Especially if it’s your first-”
-he’s cut off by a short moan being punched out of him as he feels his tip just barely breach your impossibly tight heat, it taking every ounce of his willpower to keep his hips from jumping up
“Ffuuck-” he whined, throwing his head back and thickly swallowing, hands shooting up to dig his fingers into your sides hard enough to bruise as he tries to keep you from sinking down any further
-his grip doesn’t do much to stop you, ignoring his pleading as you struggled to sink lower, hissing at the stretch, thighs trembling with the effort of hovering over him
“Hold on, I need to- Fucking- Ah-!”
-you whimpered, leaning forward to plant one of your hands on his chest for leverage, essentially pinning him down in the process
-he gapes up at where you hover over him, cheeks flushed and brows pinched together, mouth dropping open with a silent moan as you clenched around him
“Fuck, please-” he pleaded again, no longer concerned with preserving his pride as he whined, his voice raising gradually raising in pitch the more desperate he became
“You need to get off, please, fuck, I-”
-he’s cut off by your own whiney voice,
“Fuck- Please, please, Jay,” you mewled, gritting your teeth as you struggled to take more, “Want it to hurt- fuck-”
-that damn near did the man in
-he’s left with no other choice but to use his grip on your waist to tear you off of his lap, ignoring your yelp as he suddenly slipped out of you
-he took advantage of your brief moment of discombobulation, taking the chance to flip the two of you so that he was hovering over you, putting you in a similar position to the one you’d had him in earlier
-though now he was was caging you below him, hands firmly planted by the sides of your head so that all of your senses were completely overtaken by him
-his cheeks are flushed and he's glowing with a thin sheen of sweat, his hair going a bit curlier, a few strands sticking to his forehead
-and he is fucking glaring at you, chest heaving as he struggles to even his breathing back out
“You-” he panted, “Are a real piece of fucking work, you know that?”
-you grinned, breathlessly laughing up at him
-but it’s quickly cut off when one of his large hands darts up to roughly grab your jaw, squishing your cheeks to forcibly silence you, making it a point to shake you a little bit, just because he could
“I’m not fucking laughing,” he gritted, leaning down so that face was close enough to yours that you could feel the puffs of his breath “You’ve done nothing but give me fuckin problems, y’know that? I should fuckin’ kick you out and make you wait the last four days.”
-he falters when you let out a keening moan, looking up at him with bleary eyes as you press your thighs together
-he exhales through his nose, still glowering as he gives your face another shake,
“Lucky you’re so fuckin’ cute,” he murmurs lowly, leaning down to plant a hard kiss on your forcibly pouted lips before releasing your face
“Now, ‘m gonna stretch you out, and you’re gonna fuckin like it,” he explains, before grabbing the base of his cock and teasingly taps it against your mound a couple of times, grinning when your hips cant up, “and then you’ll get what you want. That sound good, sweetheart?”
-his lips spread into another grin when you quietly whine, dumbly nodding up at him
“Yeah, ‘s what I fuckin thought.” he huffed cockily
-any concerns you’d previously had with the… competence of his dexterity were quickly blown out the window the second he brought a hand down, swiping his fingers through your slit
-your eyes go wide and you flush when he brings his fingers to his mouth with a groan, closing his eyes in ecstasy as he sucked the slick off of his fingers before dipping his hand back down
-running his fingers through your folds again, coming to swirl around your sensitive nub for a moment before gliding back down to circle your hole, grinning when your hips jump and you bring your head up to watch as he touches you
-you release a guttural moan when he dips one of his fingers into you, throwing your head back as it curls inside of you, twitching as it presses up against your gummy walls
“Hands’re so fucking big, Jay, fuck-” you whine as he bullies another into you, releasing a hard exhale as he feels your stupidily wet heat squeeze around him
“So fucking sensitive, baby,” he coos as you convulse around his knobby fingers, “Wha’sa matter, those girls not taking care of you? hm?”
-he only laughs as you whine up at him, free hand firmly planting itself on your lower stomach to keep you from bucking away as the sensation grew more intense
-he makes quick work of making you come undone, you being brought to the brink of an orgasm embarrassingly quickly as he worked you like a goddamn fiddle
-he moans with you, dick twitching where it lays against you as he feels you gush around his fingers, groaning when your trembling thighs clench around his hand, trapping it there until you’ve ridden out your high
-you go a little limp once the aftershocks finally leave you, humming when you feel schlatt press his weight on top of you as he descends to plant a few kisses on your chest and up your neck
“You here with me, sweetheart?” he asks, lightly tapping the side of your face as your eyes roll back to the front of your skull
“Mmmh, ‘m here.” you mumble, squishing your cheek into the palm of his hand when it comes to rest on your face, looking up at him with a dopey smile that he returns with a grin of his own
“You alright?” he asks, grinning when you respond with a noncommittal hum
“You think you’re ready for more?”
-now that gets your attention
-he chuckles when you surge forward fast enough that your heads almost knock together
“Can I get back on top?” you ask eagerly, seemingly to suddenly regain sentience
“I don’t know, are you gonna act right?”
“Probably not.”
“Fair enough,” he laughs, but still moves to settle back on his back beneath you as you perch yourself in his lap once more
-he hisses as you use a hand to realign him with yourself,
“Slow, baby, please” he pleads as you run the tip through your folds, enamored with how pretty the head glistened with your slick
-you only hummed, looking up at him as you fixed to sink down onto him once more, slowly, like he had asked
-taking time to enjoy the significantly less painful stretch this time, mouth dropping open and forming a little ‘o’ as you watched schlatt throw his head back with a strained moan
-he forced himself to bring his head back up to watch as you took all of him, cursing when your ass finally meets the top of his thighs and you take a moment to adjust
-you let out a shaky moan once he’s fully seated inside you, hands shooting to grab onto his shoulders the moment he shifts to sit up, big hands coming to rest on your hips as you adjusted to the intrusion
-he let out a pleased hum as you used your grip on his shoulders to pull him in for a needy kiss, whining into his mouth as you shifted to slowly drag your hips up before sinking back down
-it goes like this for a few minutes, sighing into each other as you both basked in the feeling of being connected
-but it wasn’t long until you were gently pushing him back down and planting your hands on his chest to pin him to the mattress once more, looking down at him with an eager grin
“Y’ ready?”
-he smirks up at you, awfully cocky for somebody pinned to the bed,
“Been waitin’ on you.”
“Fuck off.”
-he goes to make another snarky comment, but is cut off by his own sharp gasp when you begin to try and find a rhythm, hands shooting up to your waist in a death grip as you bounce on him
-his grip loosens when you slow down, finding a comfortable pace that his him throwing his head back and groaning, struggling to bring it back up so he could watch you ride him, unwilling to miss the view
-you were lost in your own world on top of him, covered in a thin sheen of sweat, head thrown back as your muscles shift and flex with the exertion
-yelping and leaning forward to hover over him when his hips buck up to meet your hips, he moans at the sight of you
“Fuck, baby” he gritted, “Take it so fucking good, fuck”
-he grinned at your keening moan when he began to piston his hips up into yours, you fall forward to plant your face in the crook of his neck, panting and mouthing at the skin there as your hips stop, allowing him to take over for a moment
-he laughed breathlessly as you moaned into his ear,
“That good?” he teased, mewling when you sink your teeth into the column of his throat, growing needy at the sensation
-his hands moved from your waist to your hips, digging his fingers into the meat there as he attempted to drag you up and down his length
“C’mon doll, ride it- please-”
-he watches as you sit back up on top of him, grinning wolfishly down at him with flushed cheeks before once again finding your rhythm, moans punched out of you each time he meets one of your thrusts
-he clicks his tongue disapprovingly when he sees you bring one of your hands down to toy with your clit as you bounce on him, making quick work of roughly grabbing your wrist and pulling it away so that he could do it himself, groaning when he feels you squeeze him hard enough that he was worried he might pop
-it was a race to the end from that point on, fucking each other stupid as both of you try to make the other finish first
-schlatt is the first to break, cumming with a long, low groan and a thrust up into you hard enough that it almost knocks you off balance
-you stop for a moment to watch him ride it out, mouth dropping into in ‘o’ as his brows pinch up together, back arching as his hands hold you still on top of him with a bruising grip
-however, his low moans pitch up into something higher and whinier as you start bouncing again, abusing his poor spent cock :(
-but it’s not long until you’re following his lead, lurching forward to sink your teeth into his neck to muffle your moan as your walls spasm around him, cock twitching and managing another weak spurt of seed as he whimpers
-both of you lay there for a moment, panting into each other’s skin as you both try to recover
-you hum and melt into him when his arms come up to wrap around you, squishing you to his chest as he sighs
“Y’good?”
-you don’t respond immediately, turning your head so you can look up at him from where your cheek is smushed to his chest “Mhm,”
-he groans when you plant a hand on his face and use it to push yourself back into an upright position, laughing when he nips at your fingers,
“Can you pull out, though? I can feel it getting soft,” you say with a grimace
“Fucking- Don’t make that face??” he laughs a bit at your slightly sour expression, “And you’re literally on top of me.”
“Oh, right,” you laugh, moving to get off of him, gasping when he slips out of you
-you stay seated on his thighs, watching with interest as he peels the condom off of him and ties it off, laughing when you lean forward and look at it, your nose scrunching,
“Eugh,”
-he rolls his eyes at the childish sound,
“Didn’t seem grossed out when you were bouncin’ on it.” he grumbled, smirking when he sees your cheeks go red again
-you remain perched on his lap for a moment, unsure of what to do with yourself
-but he doesn’t leave you up there long, reaching up to grab your upper arm and drag you down beside him, smushing the two together on the twin xl
-you watch as he closes his eyes for a moment as he comfortably rests his head on his pillow, hair a mess, flushed cheeks, bruised neck
-he peaks an eye open when he feels you staring,
“The fuck is your problem?”
-you only hum, eyes soft as they take in his features, bringing up a hand to brush some of the hair off of his forehead,
“‘M just lookin,” you mumble, grinning when his cheeks flush and he swatted his hand away,
“Would you quit it? Shit’s freaking me out.”
“You’re freaked out? I just touched a dick for the first time and you’re freaked out?” you ask with a laugh, cheeks hurting as you watch his lips spread into a grin as well,
“Sounds like a you problem, toots.” he laughed, yelping a bit when you reached out to twist of some the hair on his chest, “Took it like a champ, though.”
“I sure as sure as shit did.” you say cockily, looking up at him with a toothy grin, “You’re next.”
-he pulls back to look at you, furrowing his brow at the vaguely threatening statement,
“What?”
-you only release a content sigh as you snuggle closer to him, comfortably closing your eyes once you’ve settled
“When I bring this season home, I’m taking my victory lap inside of you.”
-he only laughs, not taking you seriously as he drags you closer and plants a kiss on your sweaty forehead
“Yeah, we’ll see about that.”
-he pales when your eyes snap back open, looking at him intensely for a moment for sleepily drooping shut again,
“Jus’ wait.”
●・○・●・○・●・
-a few hours later, you wake up from your nap discombobulated, phone being blown up by your roommate, who was worried you’d died after not coming home from what was supposed to be a two hour tutoring session
-schlatt grumbles when you sit up, blearily reaching out to try and pull you back down, whining when you swat his hands away,
“Where’re you goin?”
-you sigh, turning off your phone and carding a hand through his hair,
“I gotta go,” you murmur, a small smile stretching across your lips when he presses his face into the side of your thigh,
“Nooooo,”
-you allow him to cling to you for a moment before gently removing his hands from you and moving to climb off the bed,
“Claire’s separation anxiety is kicking, gotta get back before she has an aneurysm.” you explain as you gather your clothes off the floor
-he sits up to watch you move around the room, grinning when he sees you grab the sweatshirt hanging over the back of his chair and pull it over your head, leaving your own on the floor
-his raises a brow when he sees you grab his pair of pre-cum soiled boxers off the ground and shove them into the pocket of your sweats,
“‘M taking these.”
“You’re fucking sick” he laughs, cheeks going bright red when you grin and make your way back to where he’s sitting in bed
“Mhm,” you hum, leaning in for a kiss which he gladly gives you, quick to grab the side of your face to pull you in deeper, tilting his head for a better angle when he slips his tongue into your mouth
-you sigh before pulling back, rolling your eyes at his petulant grumble
“I’m going now.”
“Fine.”
-but he can’t maintain his pout when you lean in and give him one more chaste kiss, quickly pulling back before he gets any more ideas,
“I’ll see you around, ‘kay?”
-he only hums, dragging his hand down your arm as you pull away,
“Seeya.”
-he flops back into his bed when he hears his door clicked closed, sighing before pulling out his phone to give ted the okay to come back
-you walk past him lounging in a common area on his way out, biting back a grimace at the sight of his bare feet on the communal couch and sending him a polite wave
-his brows shoot up when he takes in your quite frankly inappropriate appearance
-hair mussed, swollen lips, bruised neck and donning a sweatshirt that he knew belonged to his roommate
“Learn anything new?” he asked teasingly
-you only grin as you continue to walk past,
“You have no idea.”
●・○・●・○・●・
That’s it guys. Sorry she took so long, was on my prophetic bullshit last night
also if you’re a podcasting white man who reached the end of this, GET BACK 🤺
i’d like to make it clear that this is more of a fantasy projected onto a random face on the internet, it just happened to be jschlatt. OOPS
✭ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: you finally find out why schlatt ghosted you, and set things right, once and for all.
✭ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: the teeniest bit of smut.
✭ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 5.5k
✭ 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: here she is, the moment you’ve all been waiting for. dual pov, because i can’t resist diving into schlatt’s psyche. enjoy! 🩵
Your eyes stay trained on Schlatt’s back as he meanders back to his room, running a hand through his hair. A scowl finds its way onto your face. Did you not just have a moment? Why is he running from it?
“Whasuwihum?”
Your scowl stays on your face as you turn toward the voice you just heard, and Amelia scowls right back at you with concern.
“Sorry, what?” You say, unable to make out what Amelia had asked because you were so deep in thought.
“I said, ‘What’s up with him?’ Is everything okay?”
Amelia eyes you in an accusatory way, and you wave your hand dismissively. She has a right to be accusatory, but you’re not about to reveal what happened in the elevator to her, or anyone else for that matter. It wouldn’t be right to spill Schlatt’s secret. He’d never spilled yours.
“Yeah,” You say, recovering quickly as everyone waits for your answer, “He’s just a little tired from the tournament. Too much exercise, too much sun. You know how it is.”
“Riiiight,” Amelia drawls, clearly suspicious of your weak answer. Her suspicion elicits an awkward silence between the whole group, but luckily, James comes to your rescue.
“I’m fuckin’ starvin’, you guys. Let’s get some grub!” He exclaims, clapping his hands together.
James shoots you an apologetic look as everyone starts to head into the elevators, and it finally dawns on you. All of the weird looks, all of the circumstances that put you and Schlatt in close proximity — the seats on the airplane, the rooms next to each other, the tournament teams. He knows. He knows and he’s been fucking Parent Trap-ing the two of you.
James watches as your eyes narrow in realization, and his own go wide. He knows that you know that he knows. He gives you a sheepish grin, no doubt silently praying you’ll have mercy on him the next time you get him alone.
Part of you is a little miffed, sure, but that part is immediately shoved aside by the part of you that just wants to know what went wrong with Schlatt. James knows! You need to pick his brain, push his buttons, do whatever it takes to get him to reveal all his secrets.
James starts to make his way to the elevator, but you grab onto the back of his shirt, yanking him away from the group. He lets out a comically loud yelp.
“He’ll be down in a minute,” You plaster a smile on your face, “I need to talk to him about… wedding things.”
“Okay…” Amelia says, as the elevator doors start to close. She knows something is definitely up, and you shoot her a pleading look. I’ll fill you in later.
Satisfied with the silent promise, Amelia smiles as the doors close.
You waste no time turning on James. “Spill. What do you know?”
James shakes his head, holding his hands up on surrender. “I don’t know anything.”
“I can’t believe you’re lying to me right now,” You scoff, crossing your arms over your chest.
“I’ve been sworn to secrecy.”
“So you do know something!” You point a finger at him.
“Shit.” James drags a hand down his face, “Look, (Y/N)—”
“I just want to know what I did wrong.” You interrupt him, before sighing. “Things were really good, and I just… I don’t know what happened. Surely there’s something you could tell me.”
James looks like he wants to say something, like there’s nothing else in the world he’d rather do than say something, but he shakes his head. “I’m sorry, dude. It’s not my place.”
You have to give it to James — he’s a damn good friend, annoyingly so. You know you shouldn’t keep poking, but your curiosity wins out.
“You’re essentially Parent Trap-ing us, but you won’t tell me why?”
James stares at you incredulously. “I’m not Parent Trap-ing you!”
“Yes you are!”
“…Fine. I am.” James heaves a sigh, running a hand through his hair. “Is it working?”
“It would, if I knew what happened.” You try again, and James shakes his head again.
“Maybe you should ask him.”
You can’t help but roll your eyes. “Yeah, because that will definitely work out. He’s so forthcoming with his feelings.”
“Can’t help ya, man. Sorry.” James shrugs, and you know his lips are zipped for good. “Now, can we eat? I’m so hungry.”
“Fine.” You huff, pressing the button to call the elevator. As you wait, you look back over at James. “Does Amelia know you’re Parent Trap-ing us?”
“It was her idea.” James smirks mischievously at you. “Well, sort of, anyway. She doesn’t know anything, she just wants you and Schlatt to get along like you used to.”
“Yeah, well…” You sigh, as the elevator dings, “Her and me both.”
• ✭ •
Schlatt feels like shit for ditching dinner with everyone, but what else is he supposed to do? Act like everything is fine, like he wasn’t just scared shitless in a tiny metal death box? What would they all think of him if they knew?
He’s glad that it was just you and him in that elevator. He wasn’t lying when he said you make people feel comfortable. He’s always found you to be a comforting presence — well, maybe not as of late, but still. He doesn’t know what would have happened had you not been in that elevator with him.
Schlatt flops down on his bed, his back hitting the plush comforter, the fabric billowing beneath him. He puts his hands over his face, taking a deep breath, releasing it full force as he recalls the way you hesitated in the elevator. He’d put the ball in your court and you didn’t make a single move.
It’s over, done, finished. He tried, you didn’t reciprocate. He finally had his answer.
It’s obvious that you care about him — the way you calmed him down in the elevator was proof of that — but you don’t feel the way that he feels about you. It’s time to put those hopes to bed.
Schlatt tries to keep himself busy for the next hour or two, waiting for word that everyone is back from dinner so he can try to regain even the slightest sense of normalcy. He turns on the TV, flipping through the channels, romcom after romcom torturing him. He scrolls through his phone, going through his friends’ stories on Instagram, before coming across a video of you and Schlatt celebrating your tournament win. He watches as your face lights up when he picks you up off the ground, spinning you around. Fuck.
Schlatt drops his phone onto his stomach with a huff. He thinks about just going to sleep for the night, but his phone pings with a text from its spot on his stomach.
> from: (Y/N) (Y/L/N)
>> balcony?
Fuuuuck.
• ✭ •
Dinner goes smoothly, everyone too busy gorging themselves on the delicious food and enjoying present company to prod you about what happened in the elevator. You mostly just pick at your food, too in your head to even think about eating.
Maybe James was right. Maybe you just needed to talk things out with Schlatt. It’s the one thing you haven’t tried.
He’d almost kissed you in the elevator. That has to mean something, right?
You can’t play this guessing game anymore. You have to know. You have to.
As everyone almost finishes their meals, you order a to-go dinner for Schlatt, hoping the fact that you’ve shown up with food for him will soften him up enough to make him want to listen to what you have to say. James eyes you from across the table, lifting up his glass to you, a proud smile on his face. You smile back at him.
It’s now or never. You need to tell Schlatt that you’re still interested, if he’ll have you.
When you get back to your room, you immediately head out onto your balcony, sending a text to Schlatt.
> to: J. Schlatt
>> balcony?
• ✭ •
Schlatt looks up from his phone to his open curtains, and he sees you leaning over your railing, giving him a shy wave. You stare at him hopefully, and how is he supposed to deny you when you look like that in the moonlight?
He sighs as he gets up from his bed, padding over to the sliding glass door. He slips outside, the cool night breeze just barely blowing his hair out of his face.
“Hey.” You greet him first, your voice low, “Just wanted to check on you, see how you’re feeling, after… well, you know.”
“I’m fine.” Schlatt says, and the phrase comes out clipped, gruffer than he’d like for it to. Your face falls just slightly, and he immediately wants to apologize, but what good would it do? You’ve clearly made up your mind about him. He should have known better.
“Okay, well, I brought you dinner. Thought you might be hungry.” You tell him, holding a to-go box out to him over the railing of your balcony. As he takes it from you, you say, “I just got you what you ordered last time, I hope that’s okay.”
Schlatt wishes things would just go back to the way they were at the start of the trip. He wishes you hated him again. He doesn’t know what to do with your kindness, or how to stop the butterflies from fluttering in his stomach at the nervous smile on your face. God, he loves that smile. He thinks he has since the day he met you.
“Thanks.” He mumbles, staring down at the box, and you nod, awkwardly twiddling your thumbs as a silence descends over the two of you.
“Are we okay?” You blurt out, and Schlatt looks up at you. “I know in the elevator, we… Well, you know, there was a second there… I—”
“Stop.” Schlatt shakes his head. “You don’t have to explain yourself. It is what it is.”
Your eyebrows furrow in confusion. Schlatt doesn’t really understand what you’re confused about.
“Schlatt—” You start, but Schlatt interrupts you again.
“We’re fine. Just— leave it.” Schlatt says, holding up the box, “Thanks for dinner. G’night, (Y/N).”
Without waiting for a response, he disappears back into his room.
• ✭ •
What the fuck?
You have half a mind to hop over the railing to his balcony, to pound on the glass of the door, demanding him to hear you out. You don’t know what good that would do, he’s probably still stressed from what happened earlier and he’s not in a good place to talk. You can understand that.
You could try again tomorrow, but you don’t know when you’ll have a chance, since the entire day is blocked out with all-day bachelorette party activities, and this isn’t something you could just text him.
You breathe out a resigned sigh, heading back into your room for bed.
Maybe it just isn’t meant to be. Maybe you guys had your chance, and that’s it — just a fleeting moment only meant to last a short time. A month together was better than no time at all, you suppose.
• ✭ •
Schlatt is the first person to arrive in the lobby in the morning.
He hadn’t meant to be up and at ‘em so early this morning, but he’d hardly slept anyway, too wrapped up in his thoughts. He was up for hours wondering if he should have given you the chance to talk, wondering if maybe you were planning to actually say something that would have surprised him.
But would anything you had to say negate what you’d said all those months ago? Would he ever stop hearing those words in the back of his head? How could he ever be sure that you didn’t still feel that way, even if you said otherwise?
He’s gotten his hopes up too many times. Nothing can really change what happened between the two of you, and he was silly to think otherwise.
Maybe you were both just meant to be friends, and that’s it. At least then you wouldn’t have to justify him being in your life.
“Hey.” Schlatt hears you say, and he looks up from his phone to see you walking up to him. You take a seat in the other chair beside him, giving him a small smile.
“Hey.” He says back, returning the smile. He doesn’t have it in him to be unkind to you anymore — not after you brought him dinner, and especially not after the elevator.
He can tell that you’re surprised by his civility.
“I didn’t think anyone else would be down here yet.” You tell him. “I couldn’t stay in bed any longer. Didn’t really sleep.”
“Yeah, me either.” Schlatt admits, running a hand through his hair. “I never thanked you, yanno, for calmin’ me down.”
You wave your hand dismissively. “All good. You did the same for me. It’s only fair. At least I didn’t have to carry you anywhere.”
Schlatt can’t help the laugh that bubbles out of him at that. He watches as your smile grows. It feels nice to laugh with you — much nicer than the alternative. Perhaps, one day, that could be enough for him.
“Why couldn’t you sleep?” You ask him, “Still anxious, or…?”
Schlatt nods slowly. At least he could use the elevator as an excuse. “Yeah, was just a lil shook up about it still.” He looks over at you, “What about you?”
“You know me,” You shrug, leaning back in the chair, “It’s hard for me to sleep anywhere that isn’t my own bed.”
“I do know that.” Schlatt nods again as he recalls the nights you spent in his bed, “You toss and turn like a fuckin’ maniac.”
You let out a laugh, giving him another shrug. “Didn’t seem to bother you then.”
And it still wouldn’t bother me now, Schlatt thinks. “Yeah, well. I’m a different man now.” He says instead, and he watches your smile falter.
“Clearly.” You murmur, looking away from him.
Shit. He was just trying to joke with you.
“C’mon, (Y/N),” Schlatt sighs, reaching over to gently tap your knee with the back of his hand, “I was just j—”
You move your leg out of his reach as everyone starts to trickle into the lobby. Of course, they all immediately clock the tension between the two of you, and Schlatt sighs inwardly.
James catches Schlatt’s eyes, a scowl settling onto his face as he glances over at you, and then back at Schlatt. Schlatt’s eyebrow raises, but James just shakes his head, looking disappointed.
What the fuck is that about?
• ✭ •
Okay, so, yeah, maybe you reacted a little poorly to Schlatt’s bad attempt at a joke. In your defense, you’re still a little bent out of shape over what happened last night. You can’t help that it hurts.
Amelia has her arm looped in yours as the two of you stroll a couple paces ahead of the rest of the bridesmaids on your way to the spa for a day of pampering and relaxation.
“Okay, what’s going on?” Amelia asks, and you’re honestly surprised it’s taken this long for her to ask. “You’ve been so weird. Talk to me.”
You did promise that you would fill her in. You bite your lip, before taking a deep breath, placing your other hand atop hers. “You have to promise you won’t be mad.”
“I will do no such thing.” Amelia says teasingly, giving your arm a squeeze. “Come on, out with it.”
You lean in close, to make sure there’s absolutely no chance of the other bridesmaids hearing you. You pause, trying to figure out how to start your explanation. “You remember Jasper’s birthday party?”
“Oh, God, do I,” Amelia snickers, “James and Ted got so drunk that they got up on the table and started serenading her.”
“I went home with Schlatt that night.”
Amelia immediately stops laughing, her eyes going wide. “Shut up.”
“…And nearly every night after that one, too, for like, a month.”
“Shut the fuck up.”
“…And then he ghosted me out of nowhere.”
“Oh, my God,” Amelia breathes out, shaking her head. “No fucking wonder you’ve been at each other’s throats.” She opens the door to the spa as you arrive, letting you step in first, before entering herself. “Wait, why is he being an asshole if he’s the one that ghosted?”
“That’s what I can’t figure out!” You exclaim a little louder than you’d meant to. You lower your voice again. “I tried to talk to him last night but he blew me off.”
“So you’re still interested?”
“I really thought I wasn’t, but after everything that’s happened this week… All my feelings for him just came rushing back. I thought maybe he felt the same, but I don’t think he does anymore.”
“Well, shit.” Amelia sighs, commiserating with you. She pauses for a minute to check in at the desk, and the woman at the front desk says it’ll be a few minutes before they’re ready for all of you.
You look away from the desk, reaching down to squeeze Amelia’s hand. “You’re not mad that I didn’t tell you, are you?”
“No, because you did tell me, eventually,” Amelia says, “I just don’t know why it took so long for you to do it.”
“I thought about telling you as soon as it happened, but I wanted to keep it private for a while because you and James are… well…”
“Enthusiastic, I know,” Amelia admits, before letting you continue speaking.
“By the time I actually wanted to tell you guys, shit went south, and then I didn’t want to tell anyone. It would have been too awkward to be like, ‘Hey, guess what, I started seeing Schlatt and fell in love with him but we’re actually broken up now and none of you knew until now!’”
“Wait, you’re in love with him?!” Amelia cries out, immediately slapping a hand over her mouth, but it’s too late. All of the bridesmaids have heard her.
Instantly, they swarm you, but they don’t have a chance to prod you for answers before you’re all called back into the spa.
• ✭ •
Schlatt’s game is off, and he knows that everyone else knows it.
He swings his golf club, just barely clipping the ball, sending it flying at a weird angle. It lands in the rough, and Schlatt drags a hand down his face in frustration.
“Dude, get your head in the game.” James says, clapping a hand on his shoulder.
“Okay, Troy Bolton,” Ethan snorts, and James rolls his eyes.
“We’re literally on a golf course. I could bust out Bet On It right now.” James threatens, striking a very Troy Bolton pose, which makes everyone laugh.
Well, everyone except Schlatt, who is too deep in his own head to even register what’s being said around him.
Eddy waves a hand in Schlatt’s face, trying to bring him back to reality. Schlatt blinks, and Eddy comes into focus.
“What’s going on with you?” Eddy asks, “You’re, like, not here.”
“Sorry,” Schlatt mumbles, shaking his head, “Just been a weird couple’a days.” When they all look at him in concern, he waves his hand, “All good, guys, really. Quit fussin’ over me. Shit’s weird.”
“Excuse us for carin’ about you, man.” Ted tries to lighten the mood, but Schlatt just scowls at him. Natalie elbows Ted in the side.
Schlatt wonders if he should just fess up, so everyone can stop looking at him like some wounded puppy, but he fears those looks will only get worse when he confesses what’s been bothering him.
On the other hand, it might be nice to finally get it off his chest.
Schlatt takes a deep breath. “Fine. I’ll tell you what’s up, but then you gossipy fucks have to drop it, okay?”
Everyone nods in agreement, and Schlatt huffs out a sigh. “I was seein’ (Y/N) for a while.”
Nobody says a word, and James nods at Schlatt, beckoning him to continue.
“It was really fuckin’ nice — for a while, anyway — and then she said some bullshit that I can’t seem to fuckin’ forget.” Schlatt says, running a hand through his hair, “She was like, ‘Can’t believe I’m with someone like you,’ or whatever, and when I asked her what she meant by that, she said somethin’ like, ‘Well, you’re just so… you.’”
A collective wince leaves his friends’ mouths.
“And maybe she didn’t mean anythin’ by it, I don’t fuckin’ know, but it stung. Was like she was embarrassed by me or somethin’. So I cut and run, to save her the embarrassment of having to tell people we were a thing.”
“When was this?” Ethan asks.
“Months ago,” Schlatt answers him, surprisingly unbothered by his curiosity. He was right — it does feel good to get off his chest. “Haven’t really had to be near her for very long ‘til now. It was easy at first, like, I thought if i just acted like a real asshole, she wouldn’t want anything to do with me, and we could just save ourselves the trouble. A lotta shit has happened this week—” Schlatt eyes Ted, who gives him an apologetic look, “— that’s really made me realize that I really fuckin’ miss her. I don’t know how to be normal around her.”
“And you don’t think she feels the same way?” Natalie speaks up, cocking her head to the side, “Because — and I’m speaking from an outside perspective here, so take this with a grain of salt, I guess — from what I’ve seen, I think she might feel the same way.”
“Nah,” Schlatt shakes his head, “I don’t think she does.” He doesn’t mean to be dismissive, but he’s mostly made his peace with everything, there’s no use getting his hopes up again. “It’s cool. I don’t wanna think about it anymore.”
“All good, bro,” James says, before pointing at Natalie with the end of his club. “You’re up, Nat. Show these chumps how it’s done.”
Schlatt gives James a small smile, a silent sign of his gratitude for saving him from any more questions or comments. James winks at him, before gesturing for everyone to get out of Natalie’s space so she can make her swing.
As everyone returns to the game, Ted pulls out his phone, his thumbs flying wildly over his keyboard.
• ✭ •
You’ve been at the spa for hours, getting the full workup — massage, facial, manicure, pedicure, sauna. It’s been nice to spend so long relaxing after the week you’ve had, and your friends have been kind enough to leave you alone about what they’d overheard hours ago, at least while you relax.
But, of course, that can’t last forever.
They all descend upon you like vultures at lunch.
“Okay, spill,” Jasper says, as the mimosas start flowing, “Who are you in love with, and why are we just now hearing about it?”
“Only spill if you want to, though!” Maple comes to your defense. “We totally understand if you don’t.”
“Right, what they said,” Jasper nods, but you can see in her eyes that she’s dying to know, and you can’t really blame her. If it was any of them, you’d feel the exact same way.
“Is it Schlatt?” Kelsey blurts out, and your eyebrows shoot up. Fuck, are you that obvious?
Kelsey’s eyes go wide at your silence. “Oh, my God. I was joking. It’s Schlatt?”
“It’s Schlatt.” You confirm, nodding slowly.
“Bitch, you owe me ten dollars.” Jasper says to Kelsey, who huffs a sigh, pulling out her phone to send Jasper the money.
“Don’t look at me like that,” Jasper says as you scowl at her, “You forget how well I know you.”
“How long have you felt that way about him?” Maple asks, moving the attention back to the matter at hand.
“A while.” You admit, moving some of your lunch around with your fork, “We were together, for a bit.”
You fill them in on everything that happened between you and Schlatt, and by the end of it, they’re all scowling.
Kelsey rolls her eyes. “So he ghosted you and he’s acting like this?”
“That’s what I said!” Amelia exclaims, stabbing into her lunch with her fork.
“Look, your guess is as good as mine,” You lean back in your chair. “It’s whatever, now, though. I tried to talk to him last night and he didn’t want to hear it, so.” You shrug, taking a sip of your drink.
“Just forget about him for now,” Maple says, “Let’s just focus on having fun today, yeah? It’s not every day you get to be on a beautiful island with all your friends.”
“I’ll cheers to that,” You smile at them, before raising your glass, clinking it against all of your friends’ glasses.
• ✭ •
The bachelor’s day ends with a trip to a fancy-ass steakhouse, and thankfully, no one brings you up again.
Schlatt returns to his room for the night with a full belly and a massive weight lifted off of his shoulders.
He empties his pockets at his nightstand, setting his phone down, before making his way to the bathroom for a shower before bed.
• ✭ •
The bachelorette’s day ends with a huge cuddle pile in Kelsey’s room, all of the bridesmaids wrapped up in big puffy robes with flutes full of champagne in their hands in the king size bed.
“Let me get a picture.” You say, pulling out your phone for the first time all day. As you go to open your camera, you spot a notification of several texts from Ted, received while you were at the spa.
> from: teddy 🧸
>> i definitely shouldn’t be telling you this, but i can’t stand seeing you and schlatt unhappy. schlatt just told all of us the reason he ghosted
>> he said that you said something that made him think you were embarrassed of him so he cut and run
>> he’s been acting like an asshole to push you away, so you wouldn’t have to explain yourself if you ever told people about your relationship
“Oh my God.” You breathe out, putting a hand over your mouth.
“What? What is it?” Amelia asks, leaning over your shoulder to read the texts.
“Ted found out why Schlatt ghosted me.” You tell the rest of the group, “He thinks I was embarrassed of him.”
“Were you?” Jasper asks you, and you shake your head.
“No, I wasn’t.” You tell her, as you wrack your brain for what you could have said that gave him that idea in the first place.
“You have to tell him!” Maple exclaims, sitting up.
Your eyebrows furrow. “What, now?”
“Yes!” Kelsey nods furiously, “You’ve got to, dude.”
“What if he doesn’t want to hear it?” You ask, and Amelia shakes her head, getting up off the bed to pull you to your feet.
“He has the wrong idea about you, (Y/N),” Amelia says, pulling the robe off of you and fluffing your hair, “All you have to do is clear it up!”
You do. You do have to clear it up. God, you can’t believe he’s gone this long thinking that you were embarrassed of him. You feel awful. No wonder he was such an asshole.
“Okay.” You nod, exhaling a deep breath, “Okay. I’m gonna do it. Wish me luck.”
Everyone cheers as you leave.
You walk the short trip down the hall, texting Schlatt to meet you on your balconies once again.
Once you get to your room, you step outside into the cool night air, and you wait.
• ✭ •
Schlatt walks out of the bathroom, a towel in his hand as he starts to dry his hair. He wanders back to his bed, picking his phone up off the nightstand. His eyes go wide as he spots two texts from you.
> from: (Y/N) (Y/L/N)
>> (30mins ago) balcony? it’s important.
>> (15mins ago) please, schlatt.
Shit. Shit, shit, shit.
Schlatt scrambles across his room, damn near tripping over himself as he rushes to get dressed. God, he hopes you’re still out there waiting for him.
• ✭ • ✭ •
You stand up from your chair the second Schlatt comes outside. You thought for sure that he wasn’t going to show, and now that he has, your heart pounds against your ribcage.
Schlatt doesn’t get a word out before you start talking, making your way over to the railing of your balcony.
“Whatever I said, I didn’t mean it the way you think I meant it.” You blurt out, and Schlatt’s eyebrows shoot upwards in surprise.
“What?” Schlatt asks, a confused expression sprouting across his face. You’re not talking about what he thinks you are, are you?
“Ted told me why you ghosted.”
“That gossipy bitch.” Schlatt mumbles under his breath.
“I’ve never been embarrassed of you. Ever.” You keep talking, gripping the rails and wishing he was closer. “I don’t even know what it was that I said, but I promise, I never meant it like that.”
Schlatt looks down at the tile of the balcony. “You said you couldn’t believe that you were seein’ ‘someone like me,’” He makes air quotes with his fingers, looking back up at you.
An incredulous laugh bubbles up out of you before you can stop it. Schlatt scowls at you.
“Yeah, real funny.” Schlatt starts to leave, but you reach out over the railing to try and stop him.
“No, Schlatt, I’m sorry,” You say, shaking your head, “I said that because I couldn’t believe you wanted to be with someone like me.”
“What?” Schlatt asks again, his eyebrows furrowing.
“I was just surprised, that’s all.” You explain, “You had so many girls fawning over you all the time, I just thought… I just thought it was crazy that you picked me out of all of them.”
“Are you fuckin’ kiddin’ me?” Schlatt’s voice raises just slightly, and he stares at you in disbelief.
“Um… No…” You stammer out, and Schlatt throws his arms up in frustration.
“(Y/N), I’d have to be a real fuckin’ idiot to not pick you.” Schlatt declares, moving over to his own railing. “I have been head over fuckin’ heels for you since I saw you in that stupid hat—”
“Beret.” You correct him, and he shakes his head, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
“—and there isn’t a single moment where I’m not thinking about you.” Schlatt continues, leaning with his hands on the railing. He wishes you were closer. “I shouldn’t have ever ghosted ya like that. I should’ve just asked what you meant, but I got a little insecure, I guess. Couldn’t imagine someone like you pickin’ me either.”
“I can’t imagine picking anyone else.” You admit, and Schlatt swears he feels his heart swell. For once, he welcomes the butterflies that find their way into his stomach.
“Can I kiss you?” Schlatt asks, and you nod furiously as Schlatt leans as far over the railing as he can. You meet him in the middle, your lips connecting in a very long overdue kiss.
Schlatt pulls away from you, mumbling, “Fuck this,” before throwing his leg over the railing.
“Schlatt, oh my God!” You let out a shocked laugh, “What are you doing?”
“What does it look like I’m doin’?” Schlatt quips, balancing on the lip of his balcony, before moving his foot to the lip of your balcony, “I’m tryna get over there so I can give my girl a proper kiss.”
My girl. God, that’s all you’ve wanted for months.
Effortlessly, Schlatt bridges the gap between the balconies, and he doesn’t even wait to kiss you again before he gets to your balcony, still standing on the edge.
You let out another laugh as you pull away from him, grabbing onto his arm to steady him as he steps over the railing of your balcony. As soon as his feet are flat on the tile, he reaches out, placing a hand at the back of your neck, pulling you to him. He slots his lips against yours again, sighing into your mouth at the feeling of you against him once again. He wants nothing more than to show you just how much he’s missed you, so he starts to do just that.
Schlatt leads you over to the lounge chair, laying you down onto the plush cushions, attaching your lips together once more. He settles in between your legs, hiking your leg up to his hip, dragging his hand down the soft skin of your thigh.
Schlatt’s lips move from your lips to your jaw, then down to your neck as he slides a hand up your shirt, cupping one of your breasts. You arch up into his touch, but put a hand on his chest to stop him.
“As much as I’m loving this,” You breathe out, your voice catching in your throat as Schlatt sinks his teeth into your neck, “We can’t— We can’t do this out here.”
Schlatt sits up then, smiling at you deviously. “Why don’t we go inside then?”
warnings: mention of alcohol consumption and blood.
a/n: chapter 3 is here! ty for liking and rb'ing this fic, as usual it means the world to me. sorry for the lack of posts, i have been travelling so i hope this makes up for it. <3
summary: you and schlatt go to a hidden waterfall, and run into some trouble getting drinks after.
At breakfast the next morning, you and Schlatt sat next to each other, as your parents talked about their plans for the day.
“If we had known earlier you kids were coming along, we would’ve booked for you guys too!”
You and Schlatt gave each other a knowing look, before you stuck your fork into the pile of scrambled eggs on your plate.
“That’s fine, mom,” you shoved a bite into your mouth. “We had fun by the pool yesterday.”
“You guys should go to that waterfall that couple at the course was telling us about,” your dad smiled. “There’s a bus that takes you right there. If we didn’t already have plans, we’d probably go with ya!”
You and Schlatt looked at each other over your breakfast, and he shrugged.
“Could be fun. You up for that?”
“Yeah, sure. Might as well.”
“Is it, like, a hike?” Schlatt asked, while taking a sip of orange juice.
“Dunno, hun,” his mom replied. “Looked like fun though.”
🥥
An hour later, you and Schlatt had boarded a bus out the front of the resort, which was now taking you through the lush trees and grasses to your destination. The tour guide over the microphone was speaking about the history of Maui and its landscape, but you and Schlatt were definitely tuned out.
You had one headphone in your ear as you watched the outside pass you by, letting the green of the hills mesh into the bright blue sky. It was almost lulling you to sleep, before Schlatt tapped you on the shoulder.
“What’re you listening to?”
You handed him a headphone, that he popped into his ear. Smiling at the song playing over the small speaker, his head lolled back onto the back of the seat, eyes fluttering closed.
The rest of the bus ride was uneventful, a few bumps as you turned onto a dirt road and let everyone out, where the smell in the air was fresh. Palm trees and beach off to the side, as you pulled your bag over your shoulder and looked over at Schlatt.
“Do we just like, go up there, then?” You asked, pointing to the stairs that disappeared into a wall of trees.
“I think that’s generally how a hike works, yeah.”
You looked at Schlatt incredulously, punching him on the arm.
“Ow.”
“I hate you. Let’s go before I change my mind.”
🥥
The terrain was generally easy so far, as you climbed up the small inclines into the trees, passing by other tourists with guides and huge backpacks. You looked down into your small bag, with only a towel, water, some sunscreen, and your phone, and realized you and Schlatt had probably grossly miscalculated how easy this afternoon would be.
You pushed yourselves up onto rocks and dirt, as it got a little steeper. There were signs telling you where to go, luckily, or else you’re sure you would’ve been lost by now. The hot sun was beating down on your face, your cheeks warmed and chest heaving. You were suddenly very embarrassed about how out of shape it was apparent you were.
“Do you want my hat?” Schlatt asked, pulling it off of his head.
“Yeah, thanks,” you took it in your hand and pulled it on, immediately feeling the relief from the sun. “Do you know how much longer it is?”
Schlatt shook his head, pulling himself up over a particularly large pile of rocks, onto a dirt clearing. “I think they said it was an hour up, and an hour down right? It’s probably been half that.”
He extended a hand for you to take as he helped you pull yourself up onto the rocks, where you noticed his strong bicep again. Bulging under his t-shirt as he effortlessly pulled you up, as you followed behind him.
Luckily, the rest of the walk to the falls was relatively flat. Schlatt still held out a hand for you a few times, where you always took the opportunity to grab it. You were still feeling extremely hot, and a little overwhelmed with the heat, to where you and Schlatt had to stop a few times to rest.
“I promise, I’m not usually this tired after a few hills,” you had lamented, fanning yourself with his hat. “It’s just like, really fucking hot.”
“No worries,” he laughed softly, sitting down next to you. “To be fair, our parents didn’t really prepare us for this. It’s like, at least 90 degrees out.”
You had laughed then, before Schlatt pulled you up. “I think it’s close, if we just keep walking a bit. Are you alright to do that?”
He was being so unbelievably soft, it was making your heart speed up, which it really didn’t need to be doing right now.
“Yeah. Hopefully there’s some water soon.”
You heard the rush of the falls before you saw them. Turning a sharp corner, you were stood in front of them, your breath being taken from your chest. A lagoon of deep blue water, serene. The falls were surrounded by the trees, with the rocks making the water gush into the stream. It was so peaceful, you felt yourself immediately relax.
“Wow,” Schlatt finally breathed out, taking out his phone to take a few pictures. You put your bag down on a nearby rock, before immediately getting undressed, and hopping into the cold water.
“You can’t tell me you’re not gonna go swimming in that,” you laughed, giving his hat back to him. He set it on top of your bag and pulled his t-shirt off, before putting his hat backwards onto his head.
“No, I definitely am.”
You waded into the shallow water slowly. It was icy cold, but welcome against your warm shins. You immediately splashed some on your face and head, cooling down under the sun. Luckily, this area was rather secluded and shaded. It also seemed you had come at a time where there weren’t any other people, which you were very thankful for.
Schlatt had actually dived in, his hair once again pushed back on his forehead. He kept his hands in the water as he stepped deeper towards the crashing waters, as you watched him in the sunlight. His shoulders and arms looked slightly red as you followed in after him, watching him get closer and closer to the falls.
When you met him there, he dipped under to let the water rush over his chest and shoulders. You did the same, as you immediately felt relief of the hot sun on your head and face. You couldn’t hear him over the water, but he motioned to go deeper in the fall, where you noticed there was a large, flat rock to sit.
It was a little squishy for the two of you, but you made it work. Your thigh pressed against his, feet still dipped into the water as you leaned back, enjoying the small amount of shade under the jagged rocks above you.
“This is so nice!” You shouted over the crashing waters, feeling your eyes flutter close to enjoy the sprinkles of water on your face and chest. Schlatt was looking over at you, eyes tracing every line of your body as you leaned back, feeling himself take a sharp inhale at the way you were glistening under the muted sunlight. The dew drops on your skin were making you twinkle, and Schlatt felt his stomach drop, wanting to reach out, to touch.
Ever since the first night he saw you, he recognized you from years ago. Your parents being close with his meant you’d seen each other every once in a while, at parties or gatherings, but never enough to actually be friends or have a real conversation. When you sat down at dinner that first day though, he immediately noticed the same twinkle in your eyes, soft skin and warm demeanour, and he was hoping it would end up exactly like this.
He was, of course, just telling himself that you were just getting to know each other better. It didn’t even make sense - what he was thinking. You lived in two different states, had really only known each other for all of 2 days, and you also just got out of a toxic relationship. You’re sure the last thing you wanted was to be entangled with him.
“Isn’t this gorgeous?” You asked, opening one eye and smiling over at him.
“Yeah. It really is.”
🥥
You and Schlatt spent the rest of the day in and out of the water, and it became apparent that this “secret spot” got extremely busy in the afternoons. Hoards of people had set up beach towels on the soft white sand, kids playing in the water as their parents read books on the rocks, and you and Schlatt had decided it was time to leave. The hike down was much easier than the hike up, and you descended with Schlatt basically hand in hand - as not to slip or skid on the rocks, of course.
You loaded back into the bus that was waiting to take you back to the resort, once again offering Schlatt a headphone that he happily took. Within a few minutes down the gravelly dirt road, you fell asleep, head perched on his left shoulder.
Awaking only when you arrived back at the resort, you felt the weight of Schlatt’s head against yours. Your bleary eyes opened, not moving at all, as to not wake him. His hands were clasped in his lap as soft snores came from his lips. You pulled your headphone out to lightly rub his knee, which jolted him awake.
“Woah, relax,” your voice was deep from exhaustion, yet soft, as not to jar him. “We’re back.”
“Did I fall asleep on you?” It all came out in one string, while he rubbed his eyes of sleep.
“Yeah, but that’s ok. I fell asleep on you first.”
He let himself crack a smile as he pulled the headphone out of his ear to give it back to you, grabbing both of your bags and heading off of the bus.
The sun was low in the sky - but not set, late afternoon upon you. It was turning you both a soft shade of orange as you studied the freckles on his nose and cheeks, looking away as not to stare. You could probably look at him for hours.
“Do you wanna meet up again later tonight for a drink?”
You smiled at him as you both made your way back to your rooms, nodding. “Yeah, that sounds nice. Let’s go to that little cocktail bar on the beach, it looked interesting.”
“Oh, you’re one of those people,” he laughed, putting air quotes around his words. “You like a fruity little $28 cocktail.”
You let out a boisterous laugh and shoved him lightly. “Yeah, so? Also they’re not $28 here like they are back home, so we have to make the most of it.”
He shrugged, as if to say “can’t disagree with that”, pressing his key card to the reader. “I’ll meet you there at 8.”
You slunk into your room and immediately flopped on the bed, letting the sheets envelop you. Soft linens against your definitely sunburnt face, falling into a deep slumber once again, before you could even think about it.
🥥
The late evening rolled by and you woke up to the sound of crashing waves from your open doors. The sun had begun to set, golden light filtering through the curtains as you softly rubbed your eyes. You turned onto your back, sitting up to look at the clock beside your bed. For once, you actually had some time to get ready and look decent.
The issue of your packing had become rather stressful. You’d really put no real effort into packing clothes you’d actually wear, and for this occasion, the only thing that seemed appropriate was a lower-cut, white dress. It looked gorgeous against your skin, a little tight, but in all the right places.
After a quick shower and a bit of makeup, you heard a soft knock at your door. Right on time.
You opened it to see Schlatt. A white short-sleeve button up, hair pushed back on his forehead. He looked tan from the earlier sun, giving his skin a glow that you hadn’t seen before.
“You look nice,” was the first thing he said, taking a step back to admire your outfit.
“Thanks, you too,” you smiled, feeling a lump in your throat. He looked so fucking handsome, it was literally taking your breath away.
“Ready?”
“Yeah.”
🥥
The walk to the small bar was short, and you found a seat right away. Sitting across from Schlatt, the sun was hitting the side of his face as he pushed his hair back, a small strand falling onto his forehead.
Jesus. There was no way you were falling for this dude after 2 fucking days.
“They’re not actually gonna make me say “pink panty dropper punch”, are they?”
You felt yourself giggle as you looked down at the menu. “They might not, but I will.”
The waiter appeared quickly and took your order, where Schlatt just ordered a double whiskey, and you ordered a chili margarita. The sun was falling down now, painting the sky red and bright orange, as you watched the sun set over the beach.
“Are you having fun so far?” He asked, letting his eyes fall to yours. You nodded, looking down at the table, fiddling with your napkin.
“Yeah. I’m happy you’re here, otherwise I definitely wouldn’t be having as much fun.”
I’m happy you’re here. Schlatt played it over in his head like a broken record.
“Me too,” he agreed. “I probably would’ve sat in my hotel room the whole time. I’m not very adventurous.”
“You saw me on that mountain today… evidently, neither am I.”
A laugh erupted from both of you as you continued your conversation, keeping the drinks flowing. You learned more about Schlatt - his line of work, what it really was that he did online all day, and how much work actually went into it. You could tell he appreciated your interest, while he asked questions about your work as well. Suddenly, a fruity pink cocktail appeared at your table that you did not order.
“Oh, I don’t think I ordered this,” you laughed, pushing it back towards the waiter. “I think this is the pink panty dropper,” you laughed with Schlatt.
“Compliments from the gentleman at the bar,” the waiter moved out of the way to reveal a slightly older man, looking drunk and sleepy.
“I know we’re not but… does it not look like we’re on a date?” You laughed, to which Schlatt turned beet red.
“I mean, yeah, it kinda does.”
“Thank you, but no thank you,” you laughed. “You can take it back, I’ve had enough already.”
The waiter nodded slightly and took it back with him, as a smirk played on your face. “Yikes.”
“You didn’t have to do that on account of me,” Schlatt says, rather solemnly. “I hope that wasn’t the case anyways.”
You smiled a little at him, shrugging. “Usually accepting a drink means you’re okay with them coming over to talk to you… and I do not need that guy coming over here.”
Schlatt turned around to meet the eyes of the man at the bar, loud and obnoxious, very obviously bothering the other patrons.
“Good call.”
When you and Schlatt were a few drinks deep, giggling and drunk on the warm sun, you felt the cold shiver of night. Fairy lights were all around you, lighting up the clear indigo sky, lightly signalling it was time to go back.
“I think I’m done,” you hiccuped, pushing yourself out of your chair. “I don’t need to have an awful headache tomorrow.”
“Same,” Schlatt agreed. “I need a proper sleep after this day.”
“Hey, sweetheart!”
A deep voice from across the bar caught your attention as you saw the man from earlier wave you over. You offered a small, tentative wave back as you felt Schlatt’s firm hand find your arm, leading you away.
“Not even gonna look at me? Bitch,” he spat, turning away.
“What the fuck?”
Schlatt’s voice was booming as you felt his grasp leave your arm, moving towards the bar. You rolled your eyes, following after him.
“Schlatt, don’t bother,” you tried to pull him away, but he just stood across from the man.
“Are you gonna apologize?” He asked, a cocked eyebrow. “You probably fucking should.”
“Fuck no,” the guy laughed, heartily and dripped in sarcasm. “Are you her boyfriend or somethin’? You couldn’t protect her if you tried.”
The man stood from his seat and was noticeably shorter than Schlatt in stature. “Buddy, just say you’re sorry, and keep it civil. I’m sure the bartenders here don’t wanna throw you out.”
“Fuck you, bro, your little girlfriend’s a slut.”
Schlatt felt rage boil inside of him, stepping closer. Many of the patrons had turned their heads to watch, making you horrifically embarrassed.
“Schlatt, it’s fine,” you insisted, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Let’s just go.”
“When he apologizes to you, we can go.”
You were trying to ignore the horrible way this was making you feel - partly annoyed, partly upset at how stupid this all was, and partly really fucking turned on.
Just then, you felt Schlatt move. A gasp of the bar patrons made you pull away, and it all happened so fast. From what you could see, it appeared that the guy had spit in Schlatt’s face.
From there, you figured all bets were off. Two hands to his chest as he pushed him back, and the guy’s fist raised to punch Schlatt right in the nose. He fell back, stumbling towards you, before you were able to grab a hold of him and stabilize him. Blood gushing from his nose as the man ran in the opposite direction, leaving you to pull Schlatt away from the scene.
-schlatt is well aware of the fact your family owns a lake house
-he's heard countless childhood stories that were set there
-he's seen hundreds of photos that were taken there
-and at each of your family gatherings that he's attended, your cousins are eagerly asking him when he's finally pulling up
-and now that he finally is?
-he thinks he's gonna vom
-showing face at weddings and barbecues is one thing, but a whole weekend in the same house as literally *all* of your family has him a little queasy
-that, and the fact that he hasn't had service for last forty minutes of the ride
-and he's left with nothing to do but look out the window at the dirt road and the lush north eastern forest
-listening to the old red hot chili peppers cds you put on after both your of your phones lost connection and the radio stopped connecting to any channels
-the man's not even in his own car for fucks sake
-you'd told him that you'd rather take the old beater you refuse to get rid of, not wanting to fuck up whatever expensive vehicle he was driving around back home
-and it seems like you were right to make that decision, it becoming especially clear after you splash through one last muddy puddle before turning onto a barely visible, unpaved road
-"We're here!" you announced excitedly, reaching across the center console to grab his knee and shake it
-he sits up in his seat, looking around
-taking in the hand painted signs that read:
"PRIVATE PROPERTY: DO NOT ENTER"
"NO TRESSPASSING: Violators will be shot, Survivors will be shot again"
-you either don't notice his anxiety, or ignore it
-and drive a bit farther up to a clearing where the house is
-a little old and decrepit, but it has a "well loved" charm to it
-and the thirteen other cars parked outside of it do a pretty good job at quelling his anxieties about being axe murdered in the middle of the woods
-once you pull up close enough to the house, you park the car, and schlatt goes to get out
-but pauses half way out of the car when grin and honk your horn a couple of times, and he gives you a bewildered look
-after a moment of dramatic silence
-he sees at least twenty people
-all of whom look almost eerily like you, but in different fonts
-they pile out of the house and onto the front deck, all looking around and muttering to each other before spotting the two of you, and rushing to your car
-schlatt panics a bit at the sight of all of those people stampeding towards the car, and looks over to you to see what the fuck is going on
-but you're already out of the car, arms held open with a huge smile as your family comes barreling towards you
-your boyfriend watches (almost in horror??) as you're tackled to the ground by three full sized adults, and more continue to gather around the car
-some come tap on the passenger window to greet him, others wave at him through your open door
-and it's madness as you're pulled off of the ground by one of your uncles, along with a flurry of hands reaching out to you to pull you off the ground
-in the midst of all of this, you feel familiar cold, dewey metal pushed into the palm of your hand
-schlatt watches in awe as you shotgun a twea, moments after you stepping out of the car
-your cousins wildly cheering you on
-some of the drink spilling down the sides of your face and down your arm when the can is pulled away from you by one of your cousins, who makes a show of crushing it
-you finally catch a glimpse of your bf getting out of the car in the midst of the madness, and he's already looking at you, laughing and shaking his head
-before a can is shoved into his hand too
-after the initial madness of your arrival, the two of you unpack your bags and he finds out that you're sharing this bedroom with at least four other people,
"It depends on who else decides to show up" your relative explained with a shrug, "It's gonna get real crowded in here real soon, so you two enjoy some alone time while it lasts" she finished, wiggling his eyebrows with a vaguely familiar grin before leaving, slamming the door behind her
-once you're sure the two of you are alone, schlatt flops on the air mattress you two are claiming for the weekend, exhausted from the ride and a little over stimulated
-he feels your weight dip the mattress down next to him, before feeling your hand run up and down his back a few times
-he lets out a content hum at the sensation, deflating a bit at your touch
"You okay?" you ask softly
"hrmf."
-turns to see you looking down at him, genuinely concerned and he rolled over onto his back in a sigh
"'m all good doll, just needed a few", he reassures, reaching out to pet your hair, which you lean into for a moment before plopping down next to him, allowing him to wrap an arm around you to drag you closer
-you quietly laugh as he hides his face in the crook of ur neck, facial hair tickling the skin there that he knows is sensitive, feeling as the tension slowly leaves his body
"Good, because we've got everyone waiting for us outside."
-after a few more minutes, the two of you change into ur swim suits before going to meet the rest of your family
-stepping onto the back porch and being met with the view of the lake, teeming with life as other lake-goers enjoy it, either swimming, kayaking, boating, or anything else of the sort
-and your family is mingling in the back yard, standing in small groups chatting, playing outdoor games, swimming, drinking and grilling
-before the two of you have the chance to discuss the course of action, a small herd of children comes and kidnaps you, dragging you to the lake in a flurry of small hands and high pitched giggles
-you only send him an apologetic look over your shoulder as you allow yourself to be dragged off
-before he gets the chance to follow, your father calls him over to the grill where him and a few other men are standing around, beers in hand
-all of them looking over at him expectantly
-GULP
-luckily he has man-talk down to a science, only having to answer a few questions about work and such before it was acceptable for his input on the conversation to be a correctly timed grunt
-he passes time by watching you down by the water
-you're about shin deep, fighting for your life
-you're holding off one kid who was trying to swing on you with a hand to his forehead, your other hand occupied with another child that you're dangling over the water by his ankle
-two other children have wrapped themselves around each of your legs, keeping you from making it very far out of the water
-you must feel his eyes on you, because somehow when you look up, you almost immediately meet his gaze
-and shove the hitting child's head away just enough to send him tumbling back into the water before using your newly freed hand to wave him over
-schlatt politely excusing himself from the conversation he wasn't really participating in to go to you
-walking diligently enough to not get caught in another conversation on his way
-finally making it down to the shoreline, excited to finally be back by your side
-but completely forgetting about the children you were with, his face dropping as all of the children who were previously pestering you now flood towards him
-there are little hands rubbing over his facial hair like this was some kind of petting zoo, and he's being barraged with questions
"You're her boyfriend?"
"Why?"
"Do you guys kiss?"
"What's a zucchini?"
"Have you ever held hands?
"My mommy asked when you guys are having a baby"
-he yelps when a little hand pulls at his leg hair
"Why are you so hairy?"
-wants to tell them to scram, but they're all objectively adorable children
-each of them looking a little bit like you, whether it be the hair, eyes, nose, or troublesome giggle
-and maybe this is a glimpse into his future, but he can't say no to those little faces
-so he looks to you for help
-you're watching from off to the side, hands resting on your hips and looking very entertained
-before u tell them to scram lol
-the two of you swimming out to the swimming platform/dock your grandfather had built years back
-having to help pull him up onto it because he doesn't understand the Technique
-the two out you laying out there for a while, basking in the sun like turtles on a log
-he wants you to have a tanline in the shape of his hand on your ass SO BAD
-but you're like "stop i'm tanning"
-so ofc he takes it as a challenge
-turns into him just trying to get his hands on you while you try to get away, laughing
-and it's cute, until you end up accidentally rolling off of the platform into the water
-and he's laughing too hard to keep a proper center of gravity as he tries to haul you back onto the dock, and ends up falling right back in beside u
-when he comes back up to the surface, you're still laughing so hard you're struggling to tread water
-so he swims over and allows you to latch onto him, floating as the two of you catch your breath, eventually relaxing into one another as you float in the refreshing (kind of brown) water
-he shifts a little when he feels you pull away
-tries to play off the way his breath hitches when he sees you looking down at him with a fond smile, bringing a hand up to push the hair out of his face
-watching intently as your lips part like you're about to say something
-before the two of you are being called back to the shore for dinner
-his eyes dart from the shore to you, and he watches as your smile shifts from fond to evil
-and the next thing he knows, he's being plunged under water again as you essentially use him to kick off to shore
-you're laughing to yourself as you swim, thinking you've put some good distance between yourself and schlatt
-until you feel a large hand wrap around your ankle, pulling you under
-getting dried off and changing before joining the rest of your family for dinner
-a variety of foods cooked on the grill throughout the day, and schlatt sees a couple of the mayo based salads he's heard you and a few of your cousins complain about, so he steers clear
-having to sit at the kid's table with the rest of your young adult children, along with the actual children
-but all of the older cousins have fun juice in their cups (which they are very careful to keep away from the littles)
-and something about all of you sitting in mini adirondack chairs and the paw patrol table cover is making everything 100x funnier
-Schlatt grinning and laughing and asking questions as your cousins tell him embarrassing stories from when you were younger
-eventually the gathering moves outdoors, the family spreading around, sitting around a fire and making s'mores as they reminisce, telling old family stories and sharing family memories
-and in the middle of your uncle telling the story about how he kicked over a porta-potty with your father still in it, he glances down at you
-safely tucked under his arm, nestled into his side, wearing one of his sweatshirts
-you're sunkissed and tipsy, surrounded by loved ones
-and he decides that he wouldn't decide summers looking like this from now on
Ted:
-literally fuckign NEED him as my coastal bf
-nd he would be so into it too
-i know this man takes a beach day SERIOUS
-packs the tacoma the night before
-so in the morning when he wakes up at the asscrack of dawn he can wake you up with sweet little kisses, dodging your weak attempts to bat him away as you whine about it being early
-cooing at u all condescending and sweet when you finally get out of bed, your face still all puffy and cute with sleep and he can't help but reach out and pinch one of ur cheeks
-melting a just little when instead of swatting him away with a grumble you just tilt forward and squish your face into his chest with a tired sigh
-he wraps his arms around u with a firm squeeze and presses a few kisses to the crown of your head before gently leading you to the bathroom to continue getting ready,
"I know, baby, we just *have* to beat the beach traffic"
-standing behind you in your small bathroom and running a brush thru your hair for you as you brush your teeth, explaining his well thought out itinerary even though he knows his words are going in one ear and right out the other
-by the the time the two of you finally make it out to the car, the sun is nearly fully risen, shining bright as the last of the colorful sunrise fades away
-you're still a little fuzzy in the passenger seat, donning a swim suit and a cute cover-up
-jumping a little when he finally slams the driver's door shut after climbing into the car with you
-he settles in, checking his mirror, running through the list of all of the things be had packed one last time before looking over at you
-curled up in his passenger seat, blinking slowly up at him with a sleepy lil smile
-he grins and leans in to give u one last smooch b4 you're off
-stopping for coffee and pastries and it literally breathes the life back into you
-perf! bc now that you're fully conscious it's now your job to feed ted bites of whatever ridiculous sweet treat he'd decided to try this morning
-chaos ensues when you hold up his donut for him to bite into and jam spurts out onto you and the windshield, both of you shouting and the truck swerves
-having to pull over to clean up, and while he's wiping the sticky jam off of the windshield he glances over to u as you lick it off of ur fingers
-and he shifts in his seat
-and looks at the clock then back at you
-you raise your brows a bit, pulling your now clean finger out from between ur lips with a pop
-realizes he's staring when your brows pull together a bit, confused
"What?" you laugh
-and he whips his head away, staring off out the window as he grips the steering wheel tight enough his knuckles start to go white
-his jaw ticks when he hears u scoff a little and mumble something about him being a freak
-and the little angel on his shoulder is whispering in his ear about the beach traffic
-reminding him of how he literally timed it perfectly so that you could get to the water without hitting any traffic, and get a good spot before everyone else shows up
-his eyes dart back to you, where you've now turned your entire body in your seat to face him and you've got your head cocked to the side all pretty as you give him an inquisitive look
-his grip on the wheel only goes tighter
-we MUST stay focused brothers
...
-you two are still sitting in traffic an hour later, looking significantly more disheveled than you did leaving the house
-but you're both laughing as you move around in the front seat, trying to capture ted's best angle and dodge him as he tries to take the polaroid out of your hands, scolding you about wasting film
-when you finally make it to the beach, you have to park a good distance away bc you failed to beat the crowd
-and ted is beating himself up bc he had worked so hard on this plan and it was gonna be perfect for you but now you both have to carry all this shit to and from the car and-
-when he finally pulls himself out of the spiral he sees you skipping ahead of him, idly swinging the bag by your side as you admire the vintage ocean cottages and their expensive landscaping
-laughing a little when you chase after a seagull
-you two finally reach the beach and ted has to physically stop you from tearing off your coverup and running to the water, reminding you of sunscreen and the need to set up
-rushing to help him layout your blanket (meeting his eyes and laughing when you both spot what was probably a nut stain), before he gets to setting up the umbrella while you unfold the camping chairs you had brought
-when everything is finally settled, ted sees you sitting on the blanket in your bathing suit, staring at the ocean
-and finally,
-FInalLY
-he asks if u wanna swim
-you don't even stick around long enough to hear the way he laughs when you dart off to the water
-shakes his head before pulling off his shirt and taking off his glasses and runs after you
-him taking significantly less time to acclimate to the cold than you do, accustomed to frigid atlantic temperatures
-so he quickly catches up to where you were wading in
-you yelp when you feel two strong arms wrap around you from behind, panicking for a moment before realizing who it was
-and then panicking again
-Ted laughs when you look up over your shoulder at him and he gets to see how wide your eyes go
"Wait- pleasepleaseplease-" You beg, frantically looking for something to grab onto, but with how tight he's got you wrapped up you can't even turn in his arms and attempt to climb him
-your scream being cut off when he dunks both of you under the water
-you resurface with a gasp, still clinging to ted as he laughs, so you slap his chest and push away from him, grumbling something about being an asshole
-but after no more than about .7 seconds you're swimming back to him and playing in the waves
-him trying to body surf while you dive under
-throwing seaweed at him
-shrieking and trying to climb up to his shoulders when you feel sth touch your foot
-only realizing after about an hour that neither of you ended up putting sunscreen on
-the journey back to the blanket becomes a race, which ted wins
-but only because as you were exiting the water, he body checked u hard enough to send you stumbling into the path of a boogie boarding child
-arguing with you about sunbathing while you wait to dry so u can apply sunscreen
-he tries to drag you into the shade of the umbrella with him, but you put up enough of a fight to risk getting sand all over the blanket, so he lets you win
-makes u spray him down first and help him rub it in
-you better take this shit seriously
-he is white as a ghost and WILL burn
-your turn goes smoothly until its time to rub it in
-and you start obnoxiously moaning while massages the spf into your skin, just to fuck with him
-and he goes BRIGHT red, hissing at u to stop thru gritted teeth
"There are *children* here" he scolded, anxiously looking around and finding nobody paying the two of you any mind
you shrug, turning your head to the side and look up at him from where you're lounging
"And *none* of them are ours" you shoot back, rolling your eyes
-watches u sunbathe from his spot in the shade before he gets bored again, and you guys decide to go tide pooling and take some more pics for the gram
-manages to get a few nice pictures of you posed on the rocks or splashing in the water before you get too distracted
-then most of them morph into you and the little creatures you find
-but ted doesn't mind, because when he's looking back he'll realize the best pic he got from today was of you smiling up at him, eagerly showing off the itty bitty tiny baby crab you have cradled in your hands
-once it starts to cool down a bit, you guys go shopping in the downtown area
-ted buying a few funky trinkets and doodads for the apartment and for friends
-buying you a pretty sundress that you change into before heading back to the beach to pack up and get dinner
-all of the restaurants are either fully booked or stupid expensive, and ted is getting a little frustrated by the time you turn down a third restaurant, refusing to eat $23 chicken tenders
-you end up finding a random burger joint to get takeout from and eat it on the beach, enjoying the sunset together to finish off the day
-and ofc ted gets more pictures, because it would be a crime not to remember you looking like this
-hair soft and curly from the salt water, skin all smooth and glowy after a day in the sun, wearing his sweatshirt over the dress he'd bought you
-and you're laughing with ketchup from his burger smeared on your face, your mission to steal a bite failing
-after you two eat, you settle on the beach for a while longer, with you lounging in ted's lap, almost catlike in the way you settle across his thighs
-he occupies himself with running his fingers through your hair and humming to himself, enjoying the last of the sunset and people-watching
-he can tell by the way your head is nodding that you're falling asleep, and he's about to scoop you up to carry you back to the car before you're both starling at the sound of a loud BOOM
-you shoot up from where you're laying, frantically looking around before flinching when another explosion goes off
-and you both look to the sky with delighted gasps at the sight of brilliant, sparkling color in the sky
-you turn to him with a bright smile,
"You didn't tell me there'd be fireworks!"
-he only shrugs, deciding to be cool and mysterious instead of admitting that he also had no clue this would be happening
-leaning into his side with a content sigh as he wraps an arm around ur shoulder, pulling you into his side to enjoy the rest of the firework show before making ur way back to the car
-ted snaps one last picture of you on the way home, quickly hiding it, knowing you'd hate it
-it's a photo of you conked out in the passenger seat on the ride home, a little drool pooling at the side of your mouth
"You look like shit" Ted affectionately teases, running a soothing hand up and down your back
You just collapse into him, arms wrapping around his waist in a desperate manner to keep yourself steady. "Thanks" You grumble rolling your eyes smirking.
"Did you ever come to bed last night?" He asks slightly concerned as his brow furrows. "I tried to stay up, I really did, but sleep got the best of me" he confesses.
You shrug, "It's okay, I didn't get to sleep anyways; you know I have to study, my exams are in like... i don't know but they're soon!" You sass the much taller guy
"Heyy, hey... it's alright honey" He hums pulling you even closer to him "You've been working so hard," he murmurs into your hair, breathing in the familiar scent of coconut and vanilla. Feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat you felt your fatigue began to fade as your eyes threaten to close.
"Lets get you to bed, huh?" He smiles as you lazily shake your head against his chest, whining as he gently pushes you off of him. "Need to have a shower, get changed, eat, study more-" You ramble, trying to protest against Ted directing you towards your shared bedroom.
He pauses and leans down slightly as he sweeps you up bridal style, grinning at your pout like it's the cutest thing he's ever seen. "What?" He forges innocence as he carries you the rest of the way to the bedroom, gently placing you down on the bed as if he's scared to break you. "I look terrible" You sigh flopping onto the bed face first.
Ted shakes his head with an incredulous look on his face, "You look beautiful, you always do" He reassures you, patting his chest for you to lean against once he lays down himself. You finally oblige and lean against him, reuniting with the all too familiar heartbeat.
"I like you just the way you are" Ted whispers to you, delicately brushing your hair out of your face. Smiling against him you whisper back a "Love you", to which he instantly responds with a "Love you more. Always".
putting lamb's blood on my doorway (fanfiction blog) so that the destroying angel (tucker) will leave me in peace during the final plague (finding fanfics to read on the pod)
«Please let me know if any links dont work or if any links lead to the wrong thing🤥 I made a new one because i may or may not have a failed comeback 😜 ill add tags as we go on also ALL OF THE JSCHLATT AND QUACKITY ONES ARE OLD SO IN RESULT..they are.. *gulp* C- c- c- c- CRINGE 😔💔So goodluck out there soldier 🫡
ALSO👇👇👇
Sfw (IF ITS SUGGGESTIVE I MAY OR MAY NOT FORGET TO PUT IT IN THE TITLE.)
NSFW (Speaks for itself 🤷♀️)
BOTH 🙀
꣑୧Headcannons꣑୧
ᥫ᭡Jschlattᥫ᭡
Schlatt flirting with you.
Accidentally exposing your relationship.. (gulp..)
ROOMMATE SCHLATT WITH COMPRESSION SHIRT
First time with sclitt. (Lowkey a mixture of an imagine and hcs so 😜)
Schlatt with a short S/O 🫡
ꨄ︎Quackityꨄ︎
Quackity argument hcs😔
QUACKITY WITH SHORT S/O
❣︎SCHLATT AND QUACKITY WHAAAAT?!❣︎
(ignore the names "Pumpkin Duo" I saw someone say that was their "duo" name. Please comment corrections😭)
hii ! ive been craving bartender!readerxschlatt so im trying to write one also its my first time writing so plz no hate🫣 (i think 2nd person pov but not 100% sure its correct)
PART 2 IS UP
The neon lights outside the bar flickered, casting a warm glow on the wet streets. Inside, the sound of clinking glasses and quiet conversations filled the air. You were behind the bar, serving drinks to your usual crowd.
The door opened, and in walked a man with a familiar smile. You recognized him from the videos you watched with your roommate before leaving for work.
He walked up to the bar and took a seat. "Hey," he said. "Any specials here?"
You smiled and put down the glass you were cleaning. "All the beers on that board are $4 but no other specials today. Anything particular you’re looking for?"
He shrugged. "Surprise me."
You made him a Jack and Coke because of how you’ve seen him drink online. When you handed it to him, he took a sip and nodded. "It’s perfect. I’m Schlatt by the way.”
"Glad you like it, I’m y/n! So, what brings you here tonight Schlatt?”
"Needed a break from the usual stuff," he said, leaning back. "Heard this place was nice. Thought I’d check it out."
You started talking about his videos and sharing stories from the bar, making him a few more drinks as you go on. He was easy to talk to, and you found yourself laughing a lot.
As the night went on and the bar got quieter, schlatt looked at his watch. "It's getting late. I should probably head out."
You nodded, feeling a bit sad but hiding it. "Thanks for stopping by. It was nice meeting you."
He left a tip on the counter and stood up. "Likewise. Maybe I’ll come by again sometime."
“I’d like that."
As he headed for the door, he shot you a smile and left you to tending the to the ending night.
-Ted had been promising you a road trip for forever
-literally since high school.
-And honestly he’s a little scared that if he puts it off any longer, you might actually show up at his front door with a firearm
-So, your post-grad celebration was the perfect excuse to hit the road with you!
-You, and a few other friends (who actually stuck to school while everyone else dropped out to focus on their social media careers) had finally earned their degrees
-So, the gang decided to rent out a house on the east coast for a week to celebrate and finally see each other after having gone basically off the grid for the past couple of months to wrap up finals
-The minute the reservation was confirmed, you were already on the phone with Ted, trying to find plane tickets for the two of you so that you wouldn’t have to brave LAX on your own
-You had the phone pressed between your shoulder and your ear, rapidly scrolling through the website to find a flight that was equally as cheap as it was survivable
-You’d sent him countless clips of public freakouts and doors flying off mid-flight on spirit, but here you were, mouse hovering over the check-out button
“I don’t know dude, it’s literally $45 round trip…” you muttered, anxiously biting the nail of your thumb
“We will actually fucking die.”
“Then we’ll die with dignity. Our final stand against Big Aviation.”
“Right, of course. Dying by fire is really sticking it to the man.”
-He hears you inhale, about to continue arguing before he finally intervened
- “I was actually wondering if you maybe wanted to drive?”
-The other line goes quiet, and he actually worries for a moment that you’re going to say no
-And then he hears the three beeps signifying the call has been ended
-Before he has the chance to spiral too far, the black screen he had been staring at himself in lights up with an incoming facetime
-He quickly swipes and prepares to explain himself but before he has the chance you’re already off on your own tangent
- “Are you actually serious? Because if you’re fucking with me you’re actually sick and twisted.”
-Your face is close to the screen, admittedly looking a little haggard after finals had done you in, hair messy, under eyes dark, and skin pale from not seeing the light of day after basically locking yourself in the campus library for days at a time
-Either way, he couldn’t bite back his smile at the sight of ur cute lil face
- “You’re right, that was mean.”
-He watches the excitement in your eyes dim and he knows you’re about to hang up-
- “WAITWAITWAIT IM SORRY IM JOKING” he pleads, knowing for a fact that you WILL hang up and possibly even put your phone in airplane mode for remainder of the day
- protecting your peace, as you call it
- luckily, you showed mercy and heard him out
-and very excitedly agreed to him picking you up two days prior to the first day of the reservation so that you could make the 37 hour drive from LA to wherever the fuck the house is (not accounting for stops, of course)
-He was kind of guilty that you guys didn’t have a fun goal or theme for the trip like there have been for others, you assured him you had no problem playing it by ear
-So, before the two of you even knew it, the first day of your expedition rolled around
⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆
-It was the morning of, and Ted was enroute to your place, braving the two hour ride caffeine-free because you had pleaded with him to get a “fun little drink” from a newly opened coffee shop near your house
-He had been griping at the camera set up on his dashboard in the meantime
-content AND a healthy release so he wouldn’t be snappy once he picked you up
-So by the time he finally pulled up to the front of your house (and grumbled a bit about your shitty parking situation), he was only little cranky
-But when your front door finally opened after he sent the text to let you know he had arrived, all of it was washed away
-You were bright and bushy tailed, looking like life had breathed back into you after finals had drained you of all your whimsy
-You were dressed comfortably, in an old tank and sweatpants that were a bit too big on you, so you rolled the waistband up
-He pointedly ignored how low they hung on your hips
-After a moment he remembered he had to be filming, and whipped out his phone to film you bouncing to the Tacoma with a bright smile, duffle bag slung over your shoulder
-Your roommate was standing in the door with her girlfriend, both of them with a cat in arm, making their little paws wave goodbye
-Ted laughed, zooming in on them for a moment before your face was right up in the camera
- “Good morning.” you greeted, rather formally
- He gave you a strange look, “...Hi.”
-You stepped up on the truck’s running board and stuck your head into the window, looking for the camera you knew would be on the dashboard,
- “Hi.” you greeted the viewers as well
- “Alright, get outta here” He chided, placing his palm on your forehead and pushing you back out the window, ignoring your disturbed “AGH!”
- “Put your shit in the trunk and let’s get this show on the road!”
-After giving you instructions on how to actually open the trunk, he turned to acknowledge the camera while you loaded your bag up
-Instead of entering through the designated passenger side door
- you decided to hurl yourself through the driver’s window
-There was a moment of chaos as you tried to climb over both him and the center console, a mess of sharp knees and elbows, all that could be heard was incomprehensible bickering, manic laughter, and an occasional “OW”
-Once you were both settled, rather than providing any further explanation, Ted shut off the camera.
- “So where’s this coffee place you wouldn't quit yapping about?”
⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆
-After about fifteen minutes and MORE unpleasant parking situations, you finally found yourselves in a very cute cafe with comfy chairs, lots of plants, and a handwritten menu that neither of you could read
“The Lana Del Rey?” you read excitedly, having taken a photo of the menu so you could zoom in
“I don’t know…” He hummed, reading over your shoulder, “I think I’m just gonna get a caramel macchiato”
-You booed, getting on his ass for not trying something new
“I just want something I know I’m gonna like, you know?”
- you only disapprovingly shook your head, clicking your tongue
-You two ordered your drinks along with a couple of fun pastries
-And much to Ted’s pleasure, you ate your fucking words as the two of you watched the barista make your drinks
-The underpaid teenager crafting a beautiful macchiato for Ted, and for you…
- You watched in horror as they cracked open a can of coke, pouring it over the ice in the cup with your name on it, before topping it off with two shots of espresso.
“You’ll have to let me know if it’s good! It’s a new menu item, I’ve been a little scared to try it myself” they laughed, handing you the cup of murky, bubbling liquid.
- You took the cup with an awkward laugh and a thanks before making your way back to the tacoma, biting back giggles at the thought of consuming such a concoction.
-When you get back in the vehicle, Ted turns the camera back on with the explanation that the internet NEEDS a review of the Lana Del Rey flavored beverage.
“Alright guys, we’ve got our little drinkies for the road, but first I think we need a taste test.” He says with a giddy laugh, he’s always been a sucker for kitchen potions, which is exactly what you ordered
“Our total was $30 for two drinks and two pastries-” you deadpanned
“Thank you Mr. Biden!” you both sang, before breaking into giggles
“Okay, okay, we actually need to taste these.”
- You decided to try Ted’s first, both of you pleasantly unsurprised that the caramel macchiato was decent
-Then you both took a bite of each pastry, thoughtfully humming before trying to explain what was going on
-Then finally, your drink…
-Ted eagerly watched as you gingerly took a lil sip before flinching back, and watched as your expression shifted from disgust to confusion to surprise then back to confusion
-Once you come back to you give him a bewildered expression before going right back in for another sip and going through the process over again
- “Fuckin gimme that” he snatched the drink out of your hand and took a sip himself and had basically the same exact reaction
- You both take a moment to process before,
- “We can share.”
- “Yes, we can share.”
⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆
-Relative to other trips he’s taken, two days is basically nothing, and goes by in an almost disappointingly quick blur
-He did basically all of the driving the first day, allowing you to relax and enjoy the scenery
-For the first hour you both sang obnoxiously to the playlist you’d been crafting together for years in preparation for your first actual road trip
-Then once your voices got a bit raw the volume was turned down with the intention of having nonverbal time, just for you to go on to yap about basically nothing and also everything (?) for another three hours
-At one point, you get a little cold for a tank top with how cold Ted keeps the truck to keep his sweat at bay, and you unbuckle so you can rummage through the back seat for a sweatshirt, coming back donning a hoodie of Ted’s that he hasn’t seen in weeks.
-It’s not unusual to see you in his clothes, but the combination of having gone a while without seeing you and the hoodie reemerging from the abyss left him a little discombobulated
-Definitely does not have to do with how cozy you look, a little flushed from the effort of rummaging in the back seat, your hair tousled from pulling the sweatshirt over your head, and swamped in excess fabric
“Where the fuck did you find that??”
“Back seat.”
“Huh, I haven’t seen that thing in a while. It’s probably been in the back seat for a solid month at least.”
“Yeah, that tracks. Smells like it.”
“Fuck off”.
-Eventually, the conversation lulls to an end and you’re both left in a comfortable silence
-That is, until he hears five quick clicks from the passenger seat
-You both side eye each other for a moment, before you break out into a sheepish smile and pull the pen out of your pocket, holding it out to him
“You want?”
“I’m driving.”
“That’s not what I asked.”
- He shook his head with a smile, “I will later, we’re gonna have all week to be deviants”
“Also, I’m not smoking and driving, you fucking psycho.”
- You only simpered in response, shrugging as you take a drag and blowing it out the window
-once you’re decently high, you lounge in the passenger seat, head comfortably rested on where you have your arms folded on ledge of the window
-dazedly enjoying the scenery and the wind in your hair and blowing on your face as you hum along to the music on the radio
-and ted just smiles to himself, enjoying your company
-relieved that the two of you were able to fall back into sync easily after going so long without seeing one another or talking much
-not because of bad blood or anything, more-so life just taking the two of you in separate directions
-after high school, you’d moved to the west coast for school
-though as proud of you as he was, and as much fun as he had with his own college experience, he wouldn’t deny that there was a part of him that wishes you’d decided to stay closer
-just because he was able to handle the naturally growing distance between the two of you like a mature adult would, does NOT mean he enjoyed it
-during your time apart, he has met some of his closest friends who he would follow to the ends of the earth [threateningly]
-but no matter how hard he tries, he’s never been able to replicate how at home he felt with you
-while he was building up the courage to ask you to come on this trip with him, part of him was worried that it would be different now
-i mean, both of you were grown
-no longer elementary schoolers fighting with stick swords and having sleepovers, or teenagers bursting into each other’s houses and being asked by teachers where the other was when one of you was absent
-and both of you had developed significantly from then
- it would only make sense for the dynamic to have shifted at least a little bit
-and maybe it has
-but he glances over to where you have your hand dangles out of the window, your cheek comfortably squished against your shoulder as you doze off
-and decides that maybe he doesn’t mind
⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆
-when y’all finally rock up to the motel you’d been planning on spending the night in, you’re both apprehensive
-the bright orange paint smeared on the cement building had become dingy and and brownish, and the office where you checked in had a strange funk to it
-and of COURSE the room only had one bed, which both of you could have tolerated, having done it before without issue
(you were rated your friend group’s politest sleeper, but ted knew it was only because you sleep like a corpse, dead to the world and unmoving once you’re knocked. but it pairs nicely with ted, who is a notorious sleep talker and tends to toss and turn)
- you anxiously insist (ie FORCE) ted to pull the corner of the mattress up to check for bed bugs (after he had tried to assure you there were none)
-he tries to make you do it, with the excuse that he has to film, but you snag the camera out of his hands and begin filming
-later when he checks the footage, it’s a shaky recording of him being like “There’s really nothing to worry about, this is clearly a trustworthy establishment” as he waltzes over to the dingiest mattress you have ever seen
-he goes to cockily lean on it, but has he pops his hip and settles a hand on the corner
-a fuckign MOUSE skitters out from under the pillows at the head of the bed, skittering dangerously close past ted’s hand before it hides under the mattress
-resulting in of you shrieking, ted almost falling as he clumsily stumbles away from the dinky mattress, the camera shaking wildly as it records you leaving him to die and scampering out of the room
-Needless to say, the two of you decide to sleep in the car.
-ted tries to make the best of it, insisting that you guys sleep in the bed of the truck and pretend you’re camping
-he even drives another hour to find a scenic rest stop to settle at
-two find yourselves shoulder to shoulder on the uncomfortably bumpy truck bed, duffel bags for pillows
-after hearing the angry shuffling of your sleeping bag and another huff as you turn over, ted can’t help but open his fat fucking mouth to try and defend the situation
“It’s like we’re old timey pioneer pals, out on the road,” he brings a hand up to reach for the admittedly beautiful night sky (which tracks, seeing the two of you are in BUTTFUCK NOWHERE),
“camping under the stars, out in nature, reconnecting with-”
-he’s cut off by the not necessarily distant sound of a pack of yipping coyotes
-after the raucous ends, both of you are sitting at attention, nervously looking out at the desolate landscape surrounding you, before looking at each other
-by the end of the night, the two of you end up getting a solid three hours of sleep after you drove another two hours and settled in a walmart parking lot, taking extra precautions by doing all of these strange “lifehacks” you had seen truckers on tiktok using
(the two of you groggily struggled untangling the seatbelts from the sidebars in the morning)
⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆
-needless to say, both of you were a little grumpy the next morning
-ted insists he drives to the first rest station, the both of you agreeing that once you’re fed and caffeinated that you would do a good chunk of the driving today
-the two of you grab bad gas station iced coffees (ted side eyes you as you grab a concerning number of redbulls as well, but decides against making a comment when you glare)
-he settles into the passenger seat as you sync your phone to the car, so you could use your own gps and listen to your music, while ted would be allowed to catch up on all of the iphone time he missed while he was driving yesterday
-however, he found himself unable to enjoy the internet
-seeing that he has one hand tightly gripping the grab bar (i call it the ‘o shit’ bar but i think that's the proper name), the other shakily reaching across the center console to feed you the donut holes the two of you had decided to share
-though he misses and smudges some of the powdered sugar on your face, too busy anxiously watching as you weave through traffic at what was definitely an illegal speed
“Dude, watch it!” you grumble around a mouthful of dry, cakey gas station donut
-ted pales when the truck swerves as you take one hand off the wheel so you can take a sip of your watery coffee
“How the fuck do you still have your license?”
-you lips curl into an impish grin as you use one hand to once again shift lanes, and the back of the other to wipe your mouth
“Wouldn’t you like to know.”
-a couple of hours later, ted catches a few text notifications from a familiar number pop up on your phone where it’s nestled in a phone holder on the dashboard
-he glances over and sees you see it, before shifting in your seat, taking one hand off the wheel to bite at your thumb
-ted hums, an entertained grin spreading across his lips as he watches you squirm under the combined pressure of your itch to answer your phone and ted’s knowing gaze,
“You gonna answer that?” he teases
-I AM GOING TO PREFACE THIS BY SAYING:
-maybe it’s a little weird how invested he is in your relationship
-in his defense, it was originally his way of extending an olive branch out to you after an extended period of radio silence on both of your ends
-maybe a girlfriend of his wasn’t a huge fan of you (lord only knows why), and at her request the two of you go your own ways for a while
-which sucked, especially considering that the two of you were HYPED to be living on the same side of the country again
-while it was unfortunate, you respected her wishes (no matter how badly part of him wishes you hadn’t)
-both of you were left with an absurdly large amount of free time that usually would have been spent together
-he pretended it didn’t sting to watch from afar as you easily fill the space, making new connections, picking up new hobbies and brushing up on some old ones, thriving at school and working towards your future career
-so it felt like an obscure crossover when his co-host and dearest friend mentioned your name in passing
-maybe ted had been lowkey tuning him out, smiling and nodding as he prattled on, but it was like everything came to a screeching halt when he heard your name come out of schlatt’s mouth
-after making him repeat himself, he ignored the odd twist in his stomach in turn for smugness
-he had KNOWN the two of you would have some sort of connection when he introduced you to one another a while back, with both of you having an affinity for getting under people’s skin a shared sense of vicious competitiveness
-he really didn’t mean to become as involved in your relationship as he had
-Schlatt being into you seemed like his sign from the universe to reach back out to you, both to break the silence between both of you, and for scheming purposes (duh)
-as a messy bitch who lives for drama, of course he was playing both sides
-eagerly listening to you rant about schlatt before getting on call with him and to coy about knowing something that he doesn’t, and doing it the other way around with you
-MAYBE he got in a little too deep when his own relationship began to get a bit rocky, distracting himself with his new mission of hooking up two of his closest friends
-so it really wasn’t his fault that when he finally broke it off with his ex, it was so easy to fill his newfound free time with the two of you
-whether it be with either of you individually, or the three of you hopping online to play games together
-and besides,
-it would be much more weird if the two of you didn’t encourage it as much as you did
“Do it for me?” you ask, glancing over at him
-he grins, picking up his own phone to shoot his friend a quick text about being a “d1 cheeser”
and provide some updates about how your travels have been thus far
⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆
-ted insists that the two of you stop for an early lunch, needing a break from your notoriously bad driving
“I’m not bad, look!” you argue, pointing to the screen, “Could a bad driver shave three hours off of our ETA?”
“That’s insane.”
-of course the two of you make all of the fun stops for any interesting attractions, taking photos and recording some of your little side quests
-trying fun local restaurants when u guys drive thru cute lil towns :’)
-but the hours on the road all blend together, and before either of you know it, you’ve made it to the beach house you’ll be staying at
-the house is empty when the two of you walk in
-after checking the designated groupchat you learn it’s because they’d already gone to dinner, not knowing when you guys would show up
-so the two of you decide to unpack before you go and get something for yourselves
-you follow him up a scary spiral staircase, laughing when he hits his head
-he gives you a strange look when you follow him into his room
-he assumes it’s a force of habit, with the two of you having been automatically designated roommates since elementary school
-but it’s replaced with excitement when you open what he thought was a closet door,
-but it was a fucking CONNECTING DOOR BETWEEN THE TWO OF UR ROOMS
-it’s a good thing the house was empty aside from the two of you, because your cheering definitely would have disturbed anybody else inside
-technically it was a jack and jill bathroom (both bedrooms have access), but it was still exciting nonetheless
-after unpacking, the two of you set out to find dinner, eventually deciding to just get takeout from a random diner
-you two have had the same fool proof order for forever: ted will get a burger and you’ll get a chicken sandwich (you HAVE to make sure you ask for them to be cut down the middle, so you each of you can have half), one large fry and a milkshake to share, and ted will get a rootbeer while you order a cherry coke
-both of you decide to bring the greasy bag back to the house and eat it on the beach, which is accessed through a small path in the backyard
-the two of you settle on a paddleboard that had been left on the sand, brushing shoulders as you eat in a comfortable silence, occasionally passing the milkshake back and forth (it was ted’s turn to choose the flavor, so ofc he chose oreo)
-you stand up when you finish a couple of minutes after him (he’s always been the faster eater), and he looks up at you expectantly, holding out a hand for you to pull him up by
-both of you break into another fit of giggles when you struggle to haul him up, stumbling backwards and planting your ass in the sand when he releases you
-you make your way back to the house, delighted to see that the lights are now on and to hear the sound of music your friends chattering inside
-eager to join them, the two of you race back to the house, you win, though ted is hot on your heels
-your friends cheer when the two of you burst in through the back door
-you all exchange welcome hugs and congratulations to the few other graduates who were able to come, before settling on the couch
-it’s a bit of a tight squeeze, but you’re happy to squish yourself between ted and niki, going nonverbal as you enjoy the sound of idle chatter and watch the smash bros tournament happening on the TV
-a little spacey after a long day of traveling, but enjoying the company
-as everyone prepares to head to bed, your phone lights up with an incoming facetime call from schlatt
-the crowd regroups, surrounding you as you swipe to answer
-you don’t even get the chance to greet him, interrupted by a chorus of hellos from your friends
-you grin, content to sit back and listen once more, before your attention is drawn back to the phone when jay calls your name,
“I should be there tomorrow afternoon. Don’t wash.”
-ted groans from where he’s sitting next to you,
“You two are sick.”
-you only laugh, “I’ll keep it ripe for you, babygirl.”
-ted pretends to retch when schlatt brings the phone close to his face, aggressively ‘sniffing you through the screen’ before throwing his head back with a groan
-with a final giggle, you bid him goodnight before hanging up and heading upstairs
-ted showers first, both of you knowing that he takes less time and won’t use up all of the hot water on you (this was a hard lesson to learn, ted having had to take an unreasonable amount of cold showers before coming to the conclusion that he just had to go first)
-he’s laying in bed, his laptop propped up on his stomach as he edits some of the footage from the drive
-he looks up when he hears the connecting door open, finding you in the doorway in your pajamas with wet hair
-he raises an entertained brow,
“You’ve washed.”
“Dude, I smelled like an abandoned chuck e cheese.”
-he makes no move to correct you as you crawled onto the bed like you owned the place, settling across from him and scrolling on your phone
-both of you are content with parallel play time, but when it hits 1am, he glances over and finds you knocked out, phone resting on your chest as it gently rises and falls
–he grins, taking his phone out to snap a picture, unable to resist an opportunity to catch you lacking
-he goes to send it to schlatt, but pauses, his finger hovering over the send button for a moment
-it is objectively strange to send his best friend (your boyfriend) a picture of you sleeping in his bed
-and if it was anyone else, he was sure he wouldn’t dare
-if it was anyone else, you wouldn’t even be in his bed
-he decides to send it
-laughing when he receives a text back not even a few seconds later
schlagg: dubious creature
schlagg: i was wondering why she stopped answering
-he places his phone on the bedside table before reaching over and tearing the pillow out from under your head and whacking you with it
-having to thwack you a couple of times to wake you up
-when you do, you slowly sit up, groggily wiping your eyes with the back of your hand
“What is your problem?” you grumble, turning to blearily glare at him
-he really has no clue how your hair manages to become so wild the minute your head touches a pillow
-especially considering that you couldn’t have been sleeping for more than an hour, tops
“You gotta go.”
-you stare dumbly up at him, and he can practically see the cogs in your brain turning as you struggle to wake back up,
“What?”
“Go!” he laughs, bringing the pillow up to whack you again, but this time you block it, “Begone!”
-you stand up on wobbly legs,
“Jesus, fine. I’m going.” you mutter, shuffling towards the door
-you pause in the doorway, turning to face him,
“I’m keeping this open.”
-he’s unable to bite back another knowing smile, you’ve always had trouble sleeping in unfamiliar places without somebody by your side
“Fine. Now go on, git!”
-he watches you pad into your own room sending him a pathetic look over your shoulder before crawling under the blankets
-and admittedly, you do look lonely in that big bed
-all by your lonesome
-but before he gets the chance to conjure up any other courses of action, you turn off your light
-ted follows suit before rolling onto his side and falling asleep to the sound of the ocean outside and the faint sound of your even breathing from across the hall
⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆
this may be my peak actually, idek if im gonna write another chapter for this
if i do it wont be out for a while
but it may be out eventually (key word), so if you enjoyed this keep an eye out i suppose
lowkey it was supposed to be my masterwork like i have this shit all planned out, its just a matter of transferring it from my brain to tumblr
also hockeygf smut is coming guys its just so hard bc fucking a man in theory is fine but in practice??? why god PLEASE like where is your coochie what am i supposed to do with this
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