Hi! This is my new account, I moved @purplereflections and @movedtone0mile (ex @ne0mile) to there since I had some trouble with the double account, it was annoying...
✧ Warnings: bottom!seokmin ⎜soft top!mingyu ⎜switch!reader⎜threesome? ⎜fingering ⎜face sitting ⎜face riding ⎜blindfolding ⎜handcuffing⎜needy seokmin ⎜seokmin is a giver ⎜oral (f receiving and m receiving) ⎜voyeur mingyu ⎜breath play ⎜nipple stimulation ⎜you know what doja cat said about big noses, right? ⎜
✧ Word Count: 4k
✧ Summary: Your boyfriend proposes the idea, that he shares you with his 12 best friends.
✧ Author’s Note: This is the second last part to this series :( so expect the next part to go out with a bang, I can say the members who haven't had a chapter so far *cough* 95 line *cough* will definitely be the ring leaders.
(ROUGHLY EDITED)
Things have been different recently.
You can feel it in the way all eyes turn towards you as you walk into the room. The boys jumping up from their chairs to make room for you to sit with them. Shooting quick glances when you sit besides them, more often then not each of them scooting closer to have a body part in contact with you. Hoshi outright shoved Dino off the chair besides him to make room for you the other day.
Hoshi is usually the worst when it comes to wanting to share his affection.
“She always sits next to Wonwoo, it’s my turn.” Hoshi whines from his spot on the couch, pointing at the clearly empty cushion besides him, Seungkwan glaring up at the elder from his new spot on the floor, Wonwoo just grins at his friend his hand firm as he tugs you closer to him, his fingers laced with yours.
Hoshi whines louder as Mingyu just shrugs, not taking his eyes of the video game on the T.V, Hoshi pleading at the leader to do something.
“She’s not a toy, guys.” Seungcheol mumbles from his seat on the floor, shaking his head at the younger members antics. He rolls his eyes as Hoshi continues, shooting a quick glance at Wonwoo who sighs, understanding that the fun is over, his hand loosening in yours.
“Finally.” Hoshi exclaims, patting the seat besides him enthusiastically, before Mingyu jumps up looking down at his phone with wide eyes.
“Don’t say it.” Hoshi groans as Mingyu glances at you and then over to the tiger-wannabe with slumping shoulders.
“We actually have to go.” Mingyu mumbles, Hoshi huffing in defeat as he slouches against the back of the couch.
“I told you not to say it.” Hoshi grumbles his arms crossed against his chest. You stand from your seat, tip toeing your way across the room trying to avoid standing on any of the men sprawled across the floor. Mingyu hands you your bag before reaching for the front door.
“Oh just one quick thing.” You say before shuffling over to the back of the lounge pausing behind the still frowning performance leader.
“Be a good little kitty and play nice.” You whisper as you lean down to his ear, your lips grazing the underside of his jaw as you press a quick kiss against his skin, “I’ll sit besides you next time, I promise.” You continue Hoshi quickly fixing his posture as he nods.
Seungcheol stifles a laugh at the quick change in attitude from the performance leader as you wave a quick goodbye to everyone in the room, shuffling back over to the eager to leave man by the front door. Smiling up at your boyfriend as he holds his hand out for you to grab, his palm warm as you slide your hand into his. You wave to the others as Mingyu drags you out of the apartment, his hand tugging you to his side.
“Seokmin said everything was ready to go.” Mingyu whispers as you both step into the elevator, going down two floors before stepping out. “He said I should warn you ahead of time that he’s a giver.”
You raise your brows at Mingyu’s words asking for more explanation as he stops in front of his new apartment pressing numbers into the keypad before throwing the door open and guiding you inside.
You turn towards the rack besides the door, hanging up your bag and kicking your shoes off.
“Follow me,” Mingyu says as he walks down the hallway towards his bedroom. You slowly follow behind him as he pushes open the door to his room the sight of a half naked Seokmin on the bed taking you by surprise.
Mingyu says nothing as he pulls you into the room, before closing the bedroom door behind the two of you. Your eyes trail over the body on the bed, the glean of the handcuffs causing you to quirk a brow, the loose silk ribbon tied around Seokmin’s eyes making you turn to glance up at your boyfriend.
“When I talked with him about today he only really had one request.” Mingyu begins, taking a seat on the chair in the corner of the room, patting his lap for you to take a seat. You oblige him, Mingyu pulling you down, your back pressed against his chest, your eyes trailing over the bed watching Seokmin’s chest rise and fall calmly as Mingyu whispers against your neck.
“Like I said before Seokmin here, is a giver” Mingyu emphasis his words by pointing over to the man on the bed, a gentle smile on his lips, “He always has been, and he has been dreaming about the day where you sit on his face until he can’t breath.” Mingyu’s breath is hot against your skin as a gasp gets caught in your throat, Seokmin’s breathing falters as he listens to the soft words of his friends, the blindfold stopping him from being able to see your reaction.
“Would you like that, princess?” Mingyu questions your head nodding as your teeth catches your lip, your eyes unable to leave the tanned skin of the man on the bed. Seokmin was expectedly toned, his chest defined and his abdomen tight. His biceps were mouth watering, straining as he tugs at the handcuffs that leave him trapped on the mattress.
All of the members could be defined as well built, even the shortest made up for his lack of height in other areas but Seokmin sat near the top with some of the bigger members of the group - he had always piqued your interest as one of the sweetest members, you didn’t even realised what he could be hiding beneath his oversized sweaters.
“Princess, you’re going to have to use your words so our friend can be more involved.” Mingyu mumbles as he presses a teasing kiss against the edge of your shoulder. “Would you like Seokmin to eat you out till you can’t take it anymore?” Mingyu reiterates, his teeth gently sinking into your shoulder as you move to nod again.
“Yes.” You choke out, letting out a stuttered breath as the grin returns to Seokmin’s face, the man obviously pleased with your answer.
“Should I warm her up for you, kyeom?” Mingyu asks into the room, Seokmin answering back with a rough “Please” as Mingyu’s fingers graze the hem of your skirt. His fingers are gentle on your thighs, softly scraping up the sides until they sit at the edge of your underwear your skirt covering his hands.
“Underwear on or off?” Mingyu asks the room, you’re not sure whose he’s asking until Seokmin answers.
“On but take off the skirt.” His voice echos from the bed, his body shifting slightly on the mattress your eyes trained on him as you feel Mingyu’s fingers pinch the edge of your skirt slowly pulling it down your legs. He takes his time lifting each leg to guide the fabric over your knees letting it drop to the floor as the cool air in the room hits the arousal soaking your panties.
“You good, baby?” Mingyu asks as he presses soft kisses against your flaming hot neck, your head nodding, Mingyu’s teeth grazing your skin as you let out a soft, “yes.”
“Shirt on or off?” Mingyu asks next and this time you know who he’s talking to watching Seokmin’s nose scrunch in consideration.
“On but take off her bra.” Mingyu smiles against you pressing another chaste kiss to your skin before leaning back, making room for his hands to slip under your shirt unclasping the light blue lacy material the straps dropping off your shoulder as you pull your arms out of them, Mingyu pulling the garment out from under your shirt. Your eyebrows furrow in confusion and Seokmin’s choices.
“Do you have a question to ask?” Mingyu asks you and you shiver as his hands are back on your thighs, holding you steady as he spreads his legs, your legs hooked over each of his spreading too, opening you up for him.
“I’m just confused why he wants me like this” You say your body falling back against your boyfriend as he adjusts in his chair a little.
“Well?” Mingyu spurs the man on the bed to answer.
“What kind of underwear is she wearing?” Seokmin asks carefully.
“Well she was wearing a matching set she got for her birthday.” Mingyu starts, “It’s light blue and the bra was seethrough lace, it’s one of her favourites.” He continues, the man on the bed letting out a soft sigh. “Now she has on some cotton cheeky bikini briefs, it’s got the lace trim around the edges and the little bow on the waistband that you love.” You can tell Mingyu is teasing his friends, his fingers trailing up your thighs to fiddle with the lace edges of your underwear, pulling them away from your skin and letting it snap back into place, the sounds echoing around the almost silent room.
“Her ass is bare against my sweatpants, I can feel her dripping against me.” Mingyu adds for good measure as you and Seokmin let out matching sighs, the tension prickling over your bare skin.
“And her shirt?” Seokmin asks, adding “it is the one she wore to dinner the other night?” Your brows raise in surprise, this was the shirt you wore to dinner a week ago, a loose tank top made of thin white material that you had tucked into a pair of jeans.
“It is.” Mingyu confirms glancing down the front of you with a smile. “You can see her nipples through the material, she’s so turned on for you.” Seokmin smiles his head raising a little before falling back to the pillows after realising he can’t see anything.
“I love when she walks around in those flimsy pyjamas, she never thinks we’re watching but we all are.” Seokmin groans, his cock twitching a little in his sweats. “And when she bends over to grab stuff from the cupboards” He lets out a hoarse laugh. Mingyu just nods in agreement, his fingers finally finished with their fidgeting “over or under?”
Seokmin doesn’t hesitate this time saying a quick almost breathless “under” Mingyu’s hands obliging quickly. His hands stroke up the sides of your hips before his right hand lifts off your body raising until his two middle fingers tap against your lips.
“Suck.” He says quietly, his fingers slipping into your mouth easily as you suck on the digits, twirling your tongue around them before he pulls them from your mouth, quickly dipping them under the waist band of your panties. You let out a soft whimper as his fingers slide between your folds, your head falling back into the crevice between his neck and shoulder, Mingyu’s head turning to place a soft kiss against your cheek.
“She’s so wet for you.” Mingyu tells his friends, watching the way your body relaxes against him, your legs spreading further as he works against you, his friends on the bed bucking his hips at the soft sounds that escape you.
“Make her do that again.” Seokmin’s voice is husky as he makes his request. Mingyu - enjoying the way you tense slightly at the words before relaxing - is obedient. His fingers dip inside your wet heat slowly, dragging against your walls as he pushes in and pulls back out at a snails pace.
“Fuck.” You moan, your bottom lip getting trapped between your teeth as you let out another throaty moan as Mingyu pumps his fingers back inside you.
“Watch him, princess.” Mingyu mumbles in your ear, before latching his lips on your pulse point sucking harshly against your skin as his fingers pump a bit faster, the palm of his hand grazing against your clit ever so softly. You turn your head slightly before peeling your eyes open, letting out a soft sigh at the sight of the man on the bed.
Seokmin’s hands are gripping the chain of the handcuffs his body coiled tightly as he bites down on his lip, trying to stay quiet. Every time Mingyu pulls a gentle sound from you his hips buck and his chest heaves, a slow growing patch on wetness in the crotch of his pants.
“I think she’s ready for you.” Mingyu says, his fingers pausing before pulling out of your underwear, sucking his wet fingers into his mouth with a grin. He lifts you slightly, helping you to your feet before patting the bare cheeks of your ass and motioning for you to move over to the bed.
You shuffle to the bed gently sitting on the edge of the mattress Seokmin taking a sharp inhale at the feeling of the shift in movement. “How do you want me?” You question softly, slowly reaching a hand out, running the tips of your fingers down Seokmin’s restrained arm, the muscles flexing as you move, goosebumps rising on his skin.
“On my face.” Seokmin says quickly. “Please god, sit on my face.” He hums again, his hips bucking urgently at the thought.
“How about we take care of this first?” You suggest, your fingers trailing down Seokmin’s heaving chest, dipping between the crevices of his abs before pausing at the waistband of his pants. Seokmin stops breathing as you dip your hand into his pants, your fingers curling around his cock as you watch his face.
“Do you always go commando?” You question with a smile, glancing over your shoulder to your boyfriend who watches with his arm crossed against his chest, a pleased smile on his face. Seokmin shakes his head furiously, letting out a stuttered breath as you stroke him twice. “Do you mind if I play for a little?” Seokmin shakes his head again, his hair becoming a mess on top of his head.
“Please.” His whisper is barely audible as you pull your hand off his cock, pushing his sweats off his hips, moving them off his legs, his cock springing to life, smacking against his stomach before you wrap your hand around it again.
“Spread your legs.” You hum as you stroke his cock, the pre cum leaking continuously out of his tip. Seokmin does as told, spreading his legs.
You smile climbing further onto the mattress slipping your body between his outstretch legs, his cock still in hand as you dip your head down licking a long stripe from the base of his cock to the tip.
Seokmin flinches, letting out a high whine as you take the tip in your mouth, swirling your tongue around it before pulling off with a pop. Mingyu lets out a low chuckle as you continue the same pattern, long lick, just the tip before pulling off and starting again.
As your mouth continues, your hands move up his torso, fingertips grazing his hard nipples before reaching just a little bit further, closing around his throat. “Mingyu said you’re a giver” You hum as you test him, pressing lightly on his throat for a few seconds before releasing the pressure, his mouth falling open as he nods.
“Tell me Min, has anyone ever given back?” You ask, his head quickly shaking no. You smile lightly, leaning forwards to catch his lips with yours, your hand still loose around his throat. Seokmin lets out a surprised sound, his lips quickly following yours as he sighs into your mouth. “You’re so handsome.” You praise as you pull away sitting back on your knees to look down at him, his tanned skin is glistening with sweat, his cock twitching under your gaze.
He bits his lip at your praise, clamping his mouth shut as a whine escapes him, your lips latching onto his left nipple as you press down on his throat again. You can’t help the smile that blooms as you feel his hot cum hit his stomach, the white strands smearing between the two of you, your shirt turning transparent where his cum latches to the fabric.
“Good boy.” You praise pressing a soft kiss to his chest as you release him. Seokmin’s body relaxes into the mattress as Mingyu’s eyes widen. “Did he just cum?” He asks your head nodding as you glance over your shoulder at him. “You barely touched him.” Mingyu comments your shoulders just shrugging.
“I guess Min was just a bit tense.” You say, Seokmin’s head nodding slowly.
“Can you sit on my face now?” He asks you his arms tugging against the handcuffs as he tries to sit up on the bed. You reach forwards your finger tracing the bottom of the ribbon over Seokmin’s eyes silently asking for permission. He nods tightly, just once as you lift the fabric off his eyes.
He takes a moment, squeezing his eyes closed before slowing prying them open, glancing over your body with wide eyes. “God, please just fucking sit on my face.” He groans, his arms tugging at the handcuffs again, his eyes meeting yours before shooting over to the key sat on the bedside table.
You lean over him, your clothed breasts rubbing along his bare chest, his semi hard cock pressed between your bodies, starting to swell again. You slide the key into each handcuff releasing his hands before helping him unlatch them from the bed frame. Seokmin just smiles finally free to move as he sits up, his lips finding yours, his hands pulling your body against his. He smothers you against his chest as his tongue slide along your bottom lip.
Seokmin’s kisses are just as sweet as his personality, gentle, teasing kisses only just pressing against your lips before pulling away to look down at you again, his hands stroking up your sides under your shirt before his gaze flicks over your shoulder to his friend.
“This still okay?” He asks Mingyu who just shrugs back, his own hand dipping into his pants, moving slowly on his cock.
“Don’t ask me.” Mingyu answers, “Ask her.” He adds. Seokmin’s gaze flicks to yours, the question obvious. You chuckle, pushing gently on his shoulder till he lies back down, slipping off the mattress to move closer to his face. You kneel besides his head, brushing the hair off his forehead before lifting one leg over him, hovering in a straddle above his mouth.
“Three taps.” You say quietly, gripping his now free hand placing it on your thigh. “Three taps and I’ll get off.” You reiterate, Seokmin nodding in understanding as his other hand comes up to grip your hips pulling your clothed pussy down to his mouth.
“Heaven” You feel Seokmin mumble against you, his fingers pushing your panties out of the way before he takes a long lick of your cunt, your hands reaching up to brace against the headboard as he delves in. You let out heavy breaths as the lewd sounds of Seokmin licking and sucking echo in the room.
“Holy shit.” Mingyu curses as he watches his best friend, your head turning to face him, the stimulation quickly growing. “He eats pussy like a demon.” Mingyu chuckles as he pulls his cock out of his pants, squeezing the flesh as you let out a whimper as Seokmin dips his tongue inside of you.
Mingyu’s right, Seokmin eat you out better than anyone has before, using every inch of his face to incite pleasure, his tongue swirls around your entrance his head bobbing to get better access, his nose nudging against your clit.
Every time he sucks the small bundle of nerves into his mouth your body jumps to get away from him, his hands just pulling you back down to him harder, your thighs clenching around his head as he slurps up anything that escapes your pussy.
“Seokmin…” you whine as your hips buck, his teeth grazing against your clit as he nibbles on the flesh, giving himself a chance to breath he turns his head, pressing soft kisses to the flesh on your thighs. “I’m so close.” You whine again, he delves back in, his hips pushing your hips forwards before pulling them back his nose dragging between your lips.
Your hips lift of his face as your orgasm hits, thrusting in the air as his mouth chases after you, pressing his tongue against your sensitive pussy as you ride out your high. Your breathing begins to settle as you move to lift your leg over him, his hand gripping you and sitting you right back down.
“No.” He growls, his hands moving to grip your ass, “Again.” He demands, your hips stuttering forwards as his begins sucking.
“Min, I can’t.” You hiss as overstimulation hits. Seokmin gives no fucks as he removes one hand from your ass his finger pressing against your entrance as his mouth circles your clit.
“One more.” He pleads, his fingers slipping into you with ease as you let out a yelp. It doesn’t take long for the second high to hit, Seokmin’s fingers just barely moving in and out of you, taking time to explore your walls as his tongue lavishes you.
Mingyu lets out a long groan as wetness soaks Seokmin’s face, his tongue working quickly to collect what he can, the man letting out a satisfied hum beneath you, the vibrations making you squeal as your hips jump away from his face, your body forcing itself off of him as you pant.
You glance over to your boyfriend whose black shirt is now smeared with his release before flicking back to Seokmin who lays still on his back a very pleased smile on his face.
“That was everything.” He comments, his hand raising to his mouth sucking off your wetness before he lets it drop back to the mattress. “I think I’m in love with you.” He says softly, Mingyu jumping up off his seat as you adjust your panties back into place.
“I think you’re just pussy drunk, man.” He comments as he helps his friend sit up. “Maybe go get cleaned up before your profess your love to my girlfriend.” He says clapping Seokmin on the back. Seokmin gets the hint quickly, sliding off the bed and making his way down the hall to the bathroom, the shower turning on soon after.
“Must’ve been some good pussy.” You laugh breathlessly as Mingyu takes a seat next to you on the mattress chuckling in response. Mingyu leans forwards pressing a chaste kiss to your lips before slumping against the wall, his hand finding yours.
“He might’ve meant it.” He says, and you freeze. “What would you do if he did?” Mingyu adds.
You don’t know how to respond. Your eyes flick to meet your boyfriends as you squeeze his hand, bringing it to your mouth to press soft kisses to his knuckles.
“Honestly?” You question and Mingyu nods, watching you with full focus. “I don’t know, I’ve never really thought of anything beyond you and me.”
“What if we opened things up?” He spurts out.
“Like we both date other people as well as each other?” You clarify, Mingyu shaking his head.
“Like you date other people.” He responds, “Like we see if polyamory might be an option?” You’re stunned, your mouth gaping as you stare at him, he sighs his free hand reaching forwards to push some hair off your face.
“I was thinking the other day about how great you are for the guys, how great the past few weeks have been. They can give you everything I can’t.” He says quietly his eyes soft and sincere as you shake your head.
“Gyu…”
“I didn’t mean it like that, I just mean it would be good for all of us. All I want is for you to be happy.” He mumbles and you squeeze his hand again.
“I am happy, gyu. With you I’m the happiest person in the world.” Mingyu nods at your words pressing a quick kiss to your cheek before adding.
“Just think about it, okay? Don’t worry about it hurting me cause it won’t. You’re my person and to share you with some of my favourite people ever would be a dream come true.” He whispers before glancing over to the ensuite and back at you.
can i req for any doyoung!smut,, i love your writings and i only realized you don't have any doyoung yet 🧎♀️
the right way (teaser)
doyoung x reader
warnings: smut, sub!virgin!doyoung who is very anxious🥲
summary: Doyoung has never have sex. It’s uncommon for a man of his age, it’s not that he doesn’t want to, nor that he doesn’t have success. It is just that every time he tries, it doesn’t work. Maybe he is doing it the wrong way.
A/N: thank you so much for requesting and for your message, I am sorry this took a while and hope you will like it! 💗 (this is a teaser mainly to motivate me to finish it.)
꧁ ♡ ꧂
There's this girl at work. Doyoung noticed you a while ago. You're not exactly in the same department, but he happens to see you some days in the cafeteria or elsewhere. Your charisma makes it hard not to notice you anyway. But for Doyoung, it's not just that. He's probably not the only one in the office who finds you attractive, but he hopes to be the only one who eagerly wakes up in the morning, impatient to catch a glimpse of you, even if it's just for a few minutes and from afar.
Jungwoo did notice his friend's crush on you, but no matter how hard he tries to convince him to approach you, Doyoung wouldn't come out of his shell. He believes there's no chance he would be your type. Surely, you need someone who can step up to you, and he is not that someone. If you were to ever talk, Doyoung would surely become timid and find himself staring at his feet. What kind of woman would find that attractive?
꧁ ♡ ꧂
"Hey Kim, how come you're here tonight?" called Jeong Jaehyun, drawing everyone's attention to Doyoung, much to his displeasure. Jaehyun was a coworker of Doyoung's, but it wasn't like he considered him a friend; Jungwoo was the only one he could call one.
Doyoung entered the noisy pub with Jungwoo by his side. He would never attend this kind of event alone anyway. "Don't tease him, I had a hard time convincing him to come, and I don't want you to ruin it!" Jungwoo argued, leading his friend to two empty seats. They took their places at the crowded table. It seemed like everyone from the office was there, even the higher-ups, which made Doyoung even more nervous than before, guessing that you might be there as well. He looked around, quickly scanning the room, but there was no sign of you.
"Ah, thank you," Doyoung said, bowing slightly, as Johnny Suh, one of his superiors, poured whisky into his glass. "So, Kim, I hope we'll get to know you better tonight," Mr. Suh declared. "Yeah, you're so quiet at the office, we know nothing about you, and you never go out, man!" Mark Lee added. Mark had worked in the communications department for a shorter time than Doyoung, but he was forced to admit that he was much more integrated than he was. Most of the people at the table fell silent, their attention focused on Doyoung. He could feel his face heating up under the sudden scrutiny. He tried to formulate a response, but all that came out of his mouth was stuttering. For a moment, when he heard the bell announcing the opening of the front door, he thought he was out of trouble.
"Good evening everyone, sorry I'm late!" Doyoung froze. Your endearing demeanour and bright smile drew everyone's attention away from him. Mindlessly, he stared at your figure as you made your way to the table. He was thankful for your interruption, but what he wasn't thankful for, on the other hand, was Jungwoo choosing the end of the table to sit, which was the only place where there were remaining seats. Doyoung's head automatically lowered when you got closer. He was looking at his feet, again. Oh, it was childish. He was perfectly aware of it, but he couldn't help it. He felt like a teenage boy every time you were near.
compiled a list of some of my favorite fics of mark to show my appreciation and support to these amazing writers! ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა
most of these are 18+ so minors, please do not interact! fluff is listed at the end ✿
⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆☁︎ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆☁︎ ⋆｡ ﾟ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡
“my girl is made at me, hope i die.” | smut | @m-arkmywords
☁︎ is a continuation of this post
the switch dynamic between the two is *chef’s kiss.* their dynamic in general is perfect, i love the playful banter, and the humor was a+! found myself re-reading it again immediately after i finished reading it the first time ( ꈍ◡ꈍ)
whatchu doin on the weekend? | smut | @mrksluvbites
i’m a sucker for churchboy!mark and for ruining him (ㅅ´ ˘ `) this was a lovely read and i’d love to see more of this kind of mark, determined to get back at you ugh so cute i’d like to see him try
parking lot shenanigans | smut | @m-arkmywords
another churchboy!mark! zo’s humor is just so good and right up my alley, the linked image in this made me literally laugh out loud. this mark is so special to me because i feel like genuinely this is how he would’ve behaved. this is the kind of guy i daydreamed about when i was still attending church so this one really got me. i’ve re-read it at least 5 times now it’s so good (੭˃ᴗ˂)੭
can you keep it down? | smut | @lisired
dilf!mark as my neighbor? give me the lease, i’ll sign it right now. the banter in this was top notch, i felt like they challenged each other so much but it was perfect for their dynamic. would love nothing more than to test mark’s patience. something about this mark making the reader beg is just so delicious, i love the way he’s written ( ∩´͈ ᐜ `͈∩)
don’t kiss and tell series (mark, hyuck, & jeno) | smut | @catboyieejeno
part 1 | part 2 | part 3
every edition of this series is so good. the way every member is written feels so accurate! i thoroughly enjoyed this series and found myself checking for updates and i genuinely got excited when i saw a new part posted! super well done and written beautifully! i couldn’t get enough of this series! -`♡´-
sleepless | smut | @ne0mile
phew. this one. this one got me messed up! i love sleepy sex and this sleepy mark is so perfect. sleepy and confused but he’s determined to take care of reader. i need more sleepy!mark like this please and thank you (๑•͈ᴗ•͈)
james joint | smut | @m-arkmywords
can you tell i like zo’s work? my all time favorite kind of mark is stoner!mark. oh what i would give to have high sex with this man!!! i think shotgunning smoke is so sexy and i need mark to do it to me asap. this mark was so soft and sweet and everything he said in this fic made me feel good! ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶
pass it | smut | @neo-percs
another shotgunning smoke with mark (ˊ͈ ꒳ ˋ͈) high sex with him goes crazy i just know it. i love to think of mark’s first experience with weed going like this. this was wonderful! i honestly felt spoiled with the length of it!!
play with me | smut | @domjaehyun
another stoner!mark that has my heart. the scene was set perfectly! i so desperately want to do a taco bell run and roll one up with him only to be idiots and forget to eat bc we’re busy being infatuated with each other. this setting really reminded me of some of my own memories i cherish in a lot of ways so i really liked this one ◟( ˃̶͈◡ ˂̶͈ )◞
perfect little toy | smut | @loudstan
this made me ask myself, “do i have a thing for werewolves?” normally i wouldn’t read anything supernatural but this was so good!!! blew me away truly and i love that reader is a witch, these two were so cool! i found myself re-reading this a couple times because i loved it so much! the way the other members are written too feels so accurate to their personalities, it was perfect ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡
something new | smut | @springseasonie
i love subby mark and this one checked all my favorite boxes! i would love to tease him while his dick is in me, i couldn’t get enough of this one ٩( ᐛ )۶
pretty boy | smut | @ncteez
i loved all of this. i love college aus and i certainly love reader relying on the smart, studious mark for help. i absolutely would be hunting him down to tutor me. and i totally would love for him to be a perv and sniff my towels. this was so good and the smut scene in this is ( ੭ ˘ ³˘)੭ addicting!! i love praising inexperienced mark for doing so good!
red light therapy | fluff | @yongislong
gotta have some fluff too! this was so cute it had me smiling at my phone! i love tender shared moments like this, they’re good for the soul ( ˘͈ ᵕ ˘͈♡)
the moon and stars seem awfully cold and bright | fluff | @p0ckykiss
i love the idea of surprising mark for christmas! i wanna hold hands and giggle while strolling through the snowy town and looking at all the lights we pass on our way home like!!! is that too much to ask for? this was so cute and heartwarming, i loved it! ( ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ഒ
(1:58PM) | fluff | @aurezens
tooth rotting fluff that’s what this was! i also felt like this was so autistic coded which i love as an autistic person! so cute, so pure, and so mark lee. this was a lovely read ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و
soup! | fluff | @tenswrld
this!!!!!! this had my heart it had me blushing, kicking my feet, giggling at my phone like!! this was set up perfectly i would absolutely love to introduce mark to panera and buy him a mf bread bowl. i love this kind of fluff so much this is definitely a favorite of mine (˶ᵔᵕᵔ˶)
i hope anyone reading these enjoys them as much as i did! ♡
Hi 😊 hope you're doing well. Can I ask for just the tip scenario with jaemin please 💙 love your work.
think of this as…..a teaser of something to come in the future☺️💚
warnings: ‘just the tip’, unprotected penetration
“I thought you said she was special for a newbie.”
Jaemin’s glaring at you, arms crossed over his chest annoyed with his ankles mimicking the same position. Only to further intimidate you, test your will and see just how serious you are about this.
“She is.” Johnny’s quick to confirm, quickly shooting him a stern look before moving to stand in front of you and hide you with his larger frame. “Don’t listen to anything he says.”
“I’m still sore from yesterday..” you try to whisper, Jeno standing nearby scratching at his nape shyly.
“Sorry…” he mouths, shrugging and smiling sheepishly.
“Do you want to reschedule?” Johnny’s assuring as always, squeezing your shoulders to calm you. “We don’t have to film today if you’re not up to it.”
Jaemin’s mumbling curses under his breath, tightening the sash around his waist, robe concealing more of his chest. “This is bullshit.”
“No no..” you know Jaemin’s pissed off, rolling his eyes behind Johnny’s back while repeating ‘special my ass’. “Can’t we just, I don’t know.. take things slow?”
“We’re shooting a gonzo scene, how the hell do you imagine we can take things slow!” Jaemin moves to stand next to you, his expression clearly filled with frustration. “This is stupid Johnny! We’re wasting filming time.”
“We can always rework the filming style, nothings set in stone alright? Calm it down.”
“What if we..” Jaemin’s eyebrows furrow at the sound of your voice, teeth gritted between his lips. “A little at a time, you know.. slow.”
Jeno clears his throat, continuing to set up the camera’s position. “Just the tip scenes do great from what I’ve seen, just saying.”
“Just the tip?” Johnny’s eyebrow cocks up, slowly nodding. “POV Just The Tip….innocent slut struggles to take a 9 inch cock for the first time.” His fingers snap, nodding and smiling. “You think you can handle that?”
Jaemin smirks over his shoulder for only you to see, tongue dragging between his teeth as if daring you to back down.
“I can do it.”
Johnny nods, tugging you into his side to whisper against your hair. “I won’t get mad if you can’t.”
Tucking into his chest you double check that Jaemin’s moved away, wrapping around Johnny’s waist. “Is it really 9?”
He laughs at that, stroking your waist through the robe. “Nothing you haven’t handled before.”
He’s right, between filming with Johnny and Jeno you’ve been put through thicker and bigger than you fathomed to be possible, but Jaemin..
As if on cue he unties the sash around his trim waist, eyeing you from your toes up to the anxious look you give him in return. Grinning slightly he bites down on the corner of his lip, robe dropped down leaving himself completely bare, length half hard dangling between his upper thigh and pelvic bone.
Fuck.
Tugging himself to full mass his brows lift at you suggestively, as if to say ‘you next’.
The settings simple today, nothing plot heavy, plain set only for the purpose of close-up shots, a few cameras set up around to capture your lower halves connecting, Jeno handling a handheld camera for up-above shots from Jaemin’s point of view. It’s different, and as you approach the edge of the couch in front of him you remind yourself that this has to do good. It’s only your second week working at Suh Films, and the last thing you plan to do is let Johnny down so soon after taking a chance on you.
“Jeno fuck you too good yesterday?” Jaemin asks, low toned, grabbing onto the knotted up sash keeping your figure covered. “You know, if you can’t handle a little pain..”
“I can.”
“He’s not really..” Jaemin leans in, licking at your earlobe. “As thick as me.” Untying your robe, he steps closer and grips onto your waist, fingers digging into your sides purposefully to manhandle you onto the couch, robe completely slipping off in the process.
Gripping around your knees, he hoists you closer until half of your ass hangs from the edge, shoving your legs into place until you sit spread open, feet curled against the couches ledge and your palms flat to support your balance.
A sadistic thrill runs through his chest, inspecting your swollen core. Jeno really had done a number on you, fucking like a horny teenager finally nailing his wet dream. Palming down your inner thighs, he pulls your center open with his thumbs, wet folds spreading out met with the cool air filling the room.
“You’ll let me put it in a little, right?” He asks, no longer whispering. The cameras rolling not even crossing your mind, too engrossed in each flex of muscle rippling through his chest and arms. The dumb whiny nod you give is all he needs to grip around the base of his length, girth appearing ridiculous in thickness surrounded by his fingers.
Smoothing his thumb between your folds, he bends at the knee, the tip of his length swiping between to smear arousal up to your clit. Slit sucking at the bundles of nerves with each slow pass.
“Too wet for a whore that can’t take a big cock.” Jaemin sneers, tip pushing down a glob of wetness back to your entrance, the sound of it bubbling out embarrassingly loud.
“I can..”
“Oh yeah?” His teeth poke out, hiding back a smile as he pushes down against your resistant opening, having to suck back a hiss at the first bit of his length making it inside. “Fuck that’s tight.”
Jaemin whispers too low for the cameras to pick up, zoned in on the tip of his length struggling to push past the pulsating band sucking around him.
He keeps still for a second, inhaling short deep breaths as the veins lining his rod thrum violently, hungry for more. “Need in this pussy.”
Chewing at his bottom lip for a minute, his cockhead dips in and out furiously; stomach muscles contorting with every snap of your entrance around him. Focusing on your cunt gripping around his size, the stretch too painful to even look at. Heat scorches between his thighs, balls tightening up forcing him to tear his gaze away, distracting himself with your mouth, hung open and panting.
warnings: angst, impossible love :), lot of dialogues, fighting, conflicting feelings, jealousy :(, smut mdni, prob bad English sorry
word count: 4.8k
summary: after that night you spent with the prince, you don’t seem to hold on to the same feelings you always had for him, but none of your internal conflicts matter, since the wedding is approaching, and you will have no part to play in this unfolding drama.
A/N: maybe like 4 people requested a part 2 and I'm a people pleaser. + thank you to the people who have supported this and given me ideas for part 2💗
After what happened, you retreated to your room in silence. Donghyuck asked you to stay but you thought it would be in your best interests not to, and just like that, you left.
In the quiet of your room, laying down on your own bed, you stared up at the ceiling, lost in your thoughts. You could not help but feel conflicted. You had always thought of Donghyuck as selfish and capricious, but something about him changed that night. You saw him in a new light. You tried to push him out of your mind, as you knew all of this was just a big mistake, but he kept creeping back in. Nothing good would come out of you thinking too much about him, you knew that perfectly well.
You kept replaying your encounter in your mind over and over nonetheless, the way that he had touched and looked at you. You drifted off to sleep conflicted and confused that night.
꧁ ♡ ꧂
The next few days passed in a blur. You tried to avoid the prince as much as possible, but you were still working for him after all.
Donghyuck, on the other hand, did not seem the slightest bit bothered about what had happened. He was acting the same as he always did. Complaining about the slightest inconvenience, whining about everything, he was insufferable. On top of that, he would never look in your direction. He talked to you, yes, he was asking a lot from you, “Y/N, bring me this, do that…”. But you never had the chance to have a real conversation ever since. He was acting as if nothing had ever happened, which only added to your confusion and frustration.
You would talk to him if only you had the chance to. Every time you saw him, he was always surrounded by two or three other servants, and with the wedding approaching, he was often busy with preparations, and so were you. Yes, the wedding, you frequently thought about it. The reason why you were now in the state you were in. You had accepted this foolish idea, first out of generosity for the lady who was going to marry the prince, but now… it was hard for you to feel the same way about her. But you had to come to your senses; the princess was coming here next week, in order to meet Donghyuck and for the engagement party, and deep down, you hoped that he would be insufferable enough to have her flee.
꧁ ♡ ꧂
The kingdom was buzzing with excitement when the Princess arrived. Princess Victoria was an amazing young lady, she was gorgeous, gracious and her mind was sharp. The difference between her character and the prince was blatant: she seemed even more well-mannered next to him. Oh, of course, Donghyuck was acting very differently around her, but you knew his true nature.
The entire kingdom was delighted to have Lady Victoria as their future queen, and even you did like her. She was a kind-hearted woman, your heart would be made of stone if it did not melt at her contact, and unfortunately, it was not. If it was, you wouldn’t feel the twinge of jealousy you felt every time you caught the future couple together. They have been spending a lot of time together since her arrival. She was here for him after all. Donghyuck showed her around the city, and they both got to get to know each other better. All of which you had to watch from afar.
You could not help the way you felt. You tried your best to keep your feelings under control, but it was getting more and more difficult. Every night, the scene replayed in your head, every night the cold of your bed became more unbearable, every night you saw him in your dreams. You wished you never did what you did. You wished you would have just continued to despise him, and you would not care about him spending the rest of his life with somebody else.
He told you he did not want to marry. He did. You did not answer him that night. You picked up your clothing and told him it would be better if you left. But he told you he did not want it, so why was he all over her now? Probably that he was not expecting someone like her, you thought. A woman like Lady Victoria would certainly be hard to resist for a man in need of a wife. You knew you could never be that wife anyway, you had to stop torturing yourself about what he could have said that night, because none of it could ever happen.
꧁ ♡ ꧂
Friday was the day the engagement party would take place. You and the other servants were all over the place, there were so many things to get done before the evening, and all of this shattered your heart into pieces. But who could you blame but yourself? You should have known this would end this way.
Around midday, you found yourself in the prince’s room. It was your turn to tidy it. If this was up to you, you would have never gone back to this place, but of course, it was not. You still had duties to fulfil, and that you felt some strange way about the prince would certainly not be enough of an excuse to skip chores. You thought about how anyone would burst into laughter if you ever told the story. It was ridiculous, really. You had made it everybody’s business that you hated Donghyuck for the last six years, and now you would claim that you slept with him and were starting to get feelings for him?
You laughed nervously as you approached the vanity -avoiding the bed for as long as you could. You put things in their places and cleaned up the dust before footsteps caught your attention. They stopped and you carefully left your eyes to the mirror before you. There, you saw the reflection of the prince, standing on the other side of the room, in front of the door that connected it to the bathroom. You looked at each other for a moment, through the mirror, before you turned around slowly to face him. You had not been alone since that night, and seeing his hazel eyes look into yours had you feel a twinge.
Tentatively, you opened your mouth to speak, but the words failed you. Nothing but air was coming out of it. “Y/N, I’m glad you’re here,” he said after awkwardly clearing his throat. Your eyes were full of expectations as he continued, “I need you to help me choose what I will wear tonight.” You had to hold yourself back from jumping him at this exact moment, but you could not refrain your mouth from hanging open.
Seeing your reaction, Donghyuck sighed, “You know we can’t have this conversation.” with that, he pinched the base of his nose, which only added to your anger. “I thought you had moved on already.”
“How could I?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. You wanted him to give up on his pride more than anything, but still, it was hard to do the same with your own. “Stop acting like this is my fault! You were the one who left, I asked you to stay but you refused!” he spat, aggressively.
You took a step forward, and raised your voice too, “Then why do you act as if nothing happened?!” Suddenly, he grabbed your wrist, “That night, I showed you a part of me I do not want anyone to see, least of all you. Do you understand? We should have never done that!” His voice was assertive and his words harsh. With your wrist still, in a tight hold, he was standing a few inches from you, and the mixture of both his proximity, which you had longed for days and his spite, made you want to cry.
“That night… you asked me to tell you that I loved you. Why did you ask? Do you love me, Donghyuck?” you asked, on the verge of tears, your voice as cold as possible. At this point, you couldn't care less about calling him by his first name.
He lowered his head and let go of your wrist. “I am soon to be married, Y/N,” he said, taking a step backwards. You looked up at his expressionless look and heard your voice crack a little, “So you will?” Donghyuck shook his head, “You’re telling me that as if I had a choice.” Just like that, the tears in the corner of your eyes dried somehow, and you let out a dry chuckle. “I mean, you are a prince, you have more power of will than I could ever dream of.” He sighed, again. “This is not how it works, Y/N. I will have to rule someday, I need to marry, and have an heir of royal blood. Everything is already planned, this is an arrangement between my father and the king of the adjacent kingdom to ensure peace between both countries. This is settled: I will marry his daughter.”
“Why are you explaining this to me as if I was some kind of child?” you asked in disbelief. “I am not! Wh- Don’t make this any more difficult!” he cried out, exasperated. “Oh no, this is not difficult at all. You are of royal blood and I am nothing but a servant. This is why you are explaining to me the political situation of the country I live in. This is why you never had any intention of marrying me!” you didn’t mean to say that last sentence. It came out on its own. “What are you talking about?!” He seemed so angry that the whole palace could hear his shouting and he would not care. “You never even liked me in the first place! If you had ever shown me some sympathy before, maybe I wouldn’t have agreed to marry a woman I know nothing about!”
There was a moment of silence, the reflection of the blow of his words. “This is laughable really.” Your voice was shaky, “You think everything is owed to you, don’t you? You have never been anything but insufferable with me for years, and I am the one who has to show sympathy?! I thought you would finally see me as your equal after what happened, but I was wrong. I am still your servant, and I will always be under you. I will always be the one to bow to your demands.” And with that, you left the room.
Your heart was hammering in your chest while you walked the halls to your room. What an idiot you had been.
꧁ ♡ ꧂
The grand ballroom was decorated with sparkling crystal chandeliers that illuminated the room with a warm, golden glow, as well as furnished flower arrangements and elegant centrepieces. It was impossible for you to get any satisfaction from your hard work though, you were still mad at the prince and conflicted about this whole situation. You had to come clean with yourself. Earlier, you said a lot of things without thinking, which had you questioning even more your own feelings. Indeed, something had changed this night. Something about him, about the way you saw him, how you interacted with each other. This was different from any intercourse you had before. The resentment between each other had aroused a burning passion within you, and it was impossible for you to calm the fire, now that the flames were burning you from within.
The guests, all dressed in their finest attire, began to arrive, mingle and dance to the soft music that played in the background. The prince and princess were the center of attention,of course, making their rounds and greeting the guests, arm in arm. You watched from the sideline as Donghyuck interacted with his fiancée, smiling and giggling at everything she said. You couldn’t believe how he was acting with her. Was he going to reveal his real character once she is pregnant with their first child or will he be strong enough to hide it for the rest of his life? That was it, even though you felt new empathy for the version of him you had seen that night, it was not love. It could not be. You wanted to scream, tell her that he was not what he was pretending to be, that he was a despicable character, not worthy of her affection. Your heart was torn between hate and longing. The desire to ruin his life was oh so strong. You wanted to ruin everything he had, this bright future that was destined for him, that golden frame of him and his future family, you wished to tear it into pieces.
Donghyuck was looking at the princess with both admiration and affection, a stark contrast to how he had always treated you. Their eyes were locked on each other as they twirled and danced around the room. Your heart felt heavy in your chest, you would never have that, neither with him nor with anybody else. You realized that what you felt was simply jealousy, and that struck you like a blow from a sledgehammer. You lost yourself, staring at him as he led her around the room.
Still in the middle of a waltz, he stole a glance in your direction, which you averted as soon as you caught it.
Bending down, he took her hand and brought it to his lips before kissing it softly. You tried to hide it, to keep a stoic expression on your face, but your hands were clenched into fists and your jaw tightened, as your heart twisted with envy. No one could know about your inner turmoil, and since all eyes were on the royal couple, you figured no one would notice if you disappeared.
꧁ ♡ ꧂
Music echoed down the palace halls as you hurried through them, your heart pounding in your chest.
“Y/N, wait.” Donghyuck’s voice echoed between the halls. Not looking back, you continued to walk, which did not stop him, since he kept following you. “What do you have to say to me? I think you cleared everything up before the party.” you spat, speeding up. “Y/N listen to me!” with large footsteps, he caught up with you and grabbed your wrist, it was starting to become a habit, you thought. “Let go of me!” shoving your arm out of his hold, you turned to face him, your eyebrows furrowed. “Then, stop running.” You sighed and crossed your arms on your chest, ready to hear whatever he had to say.
“Why would you care anyway? About all of this, about the wedding.” He did not sound mad, more like confused. So were you. You hadn’t quite come to an agreement with your own feelings, so how were you supposed to put them into words, in front of him of all people? The frown on his face became more evident, and you could tell he was waiting for a serious answer, so you had to come up with something. “I just can’t stand to see you acting all lovey-dovey with her when you spent the night with someone else, not even a week ago.” Donghyuck huffed at your words, “You’re saying this as if I was cheating on her!” “Yes, you did!” You retorted. “I had not even met her when we did that, I know nothing of her ok. This is a marriage of convenience god, how many times do I have to tell you?” Anxiously, he passed his hand through his hair, pacing in front of you.
“Oh, so you are never going to be intimate with her, since it is of convenience.” Really, you didn’t mean to say that out loud. You hated how it made you sound, like you were jealous, like you only wanted him to be intimate with you. Nothing could've stopped your cheeks from flushing, and Donghyuck froze. You two exchanged a glance and he took advantage of the moment of peace to close the distance between you. “I cannot promise you that I will not.” he sighed. “I have obligations to fulfil…” gently, his hand reached for your cheek, “But if I do, I would only think of you.”
It was tempting, really, to submit to his almost sweet words. A part of you wished to lean into his hand and happily settle for what he was offering, but you had your pride, and he should know that better than anyone else. Moving his hand away, you looked into his eyes, and your silence spoke all the words you could have said. Donghyuck sighed, softly shaking his head.
“You know what, Y/N? I think you take me for a fool.” he laughed nervously, rising inside of you an anxious feeling. “You have been the one to always reject me, and look, you want me to make a move on you, but every time I do, you still reject me. Every step I take towards you, you shove me three steps back. I don’t know what you want from me. I wanted to think that if you accepted to spend the night with me it was because you felt the same way I did… But now, I cannot follow you.” You hated that. You hated the tight feeling in your throat. You hated when he was talking like that.
No words would come out of your mouth, and you felt tears starting to form in the corner of your eyes. It was pathetic, but you had nothing better to do than turn on your heels and flee, leaving Donghyuck behind you, his head low, and his heart, just as heavy as yours.
꧁ ♡ ꧂
You could not sleep that night. Your eyes were glued to the ceiling, your throat tight and your stomach knotted. What was next? Donghyuck gets married and you spend the rest of your life taking care of him, his wife and then, his children?
For one second, you considered the possibility of running away, to leave the palace and the temptation of Donghyuck behind. But that was childish. You did not do this job out of mere enjoyment, you did it because you needed it. You had nowhere else to go. Plus, it would be pathetic of you to escape your entire life all because of a prince you couldn’t stop thinking of, one that you despised more than anything just a few days ago. You had always prided yourself on being practical and level-headed, so what were you doing right now?
That night, you felt like you were something more. You felt alive, thrilled, and excited like you had never been before. And despite the whole situation, you longed to feel this way again. You sat up, and let out a long sigh. Maybe you needed this temporary escape from your miserable existence. You could figure out the outcome later.
Barefeet, you made your way down the palace’s silent halls, your heart pounding with both anticipation and adrenaline. The palace was asleep, the only thing you could hear was the song of the cicadas from the courtyard. The skin of your feet against the marble echoed down the hallways, your steps slowing down the closer you got from the princely suite.
Eventually, you reached the large door and hesitated for a moment, your hand hovering over the handle. Then you heard his voice through the door. Muffled words that you could not understand, but they convinced you to push the door open and step inside. You scanned the room and found him sitting on the edge of his bed, facing the window, his back to you. Slowly, he turned around, the moonlight was illuminating his features, he looked dreamy. “I was hoping you would come,” he said, his voice soft and low. You gave him no answer, so he kept going. “Y/N, I think it is time we are honest with each other.”
He got up and approached you. “I cannot tell you that I will cancel my engagement or my upcoming wedding. I cannot tell you that I will propose to you and give you the life that you deserve.” he leaned closer, leaning his forehead on yours. “Because I won’t,” he whispered and managed to break both of your hearts in one single sentence. “Why would you think that I want that?” you managed to sound as fierce as you could, but the crack in your voice gave you away. “What is it then?” he asked, his hand brushing against yours.
Cradling his face in your hands, you murmured against his lips: “I don’t love you.” You watched his eyes get watery, and gulped before continuing, trying to keep your voice steady. “We can keep whatever we have right now. I do not want you to abandon your responsibilities. I am not asking you to elope with me.” “We could if you only asked,” he said, and you gave him a wistful smile.
“This cannot work, Donghyuck. We can’t leave together, we can barely bear each other’s company.” you chuckled lightly. By that time, his hands were resting on your waist. “Why did you come then?” there was a sound of hope in his voice. You, on the other hand, did not have the luxury of hoping for anything. “I told you, we can keep whatever we have…” you trailed off before locking your lips together. The kiss felt like a weight had been taken off your shoulders. You felt relieved. What happened the other night was real, you did have that chemistry that made your heart pound in your temples. He deepened the kiss, as you were both eager to feel each other, hands were roaming your bodies.
When you pulled away, there was a moment of silence between the two of you, except for your ragging breaths. “I want you. Ever since that night, I haven’t been able to think about anything else.” he sounded demanding, which was your favourite version of him. You took a step forward, forcing him to step back. “You can have me.” You forced him backwards until he stumbled onto the bed. As he sat down, he looked up at you, alert to each of your movements, hanging on your every word. “Or I can have you…” you breathed while sliding your hand over the nape of his neck.
There were so many things you had to say to each other, yet, you decided not to say a word. With your eyes glued to his, you slowly untied the lace of your bodice, you got rid of your nightgown, letting it slide to the ground. Donghyuck squeezed the back of your thigh, approaching his lips of your stomach. His warm breath on your skin had you shivering. You grabbed onto his hair, as he trailed kisses down your belly.
“Lay down,” you told him, moving his head away from you. “You are giving me orders now.” he chuckled, stroking your thigh. ”It seems so.” Smiling, you pushed him down and straddled his lap. You were getting comfortable and he was getting lost in your eyes, a sly smile painted over his face. “I hate it that you have this power over me,” he said. “Is that so, Your Highness?” “Oh, now you respect titles,” Donghyuck smirked, thrusting his hips up. Exasperated, you shushed him and pushed him to sink even deeper into the mattress.
You helped him out of his undergarments, revealing his tan and glowing skin. Peppering kisses on his neck, you rocked your hips against him, and he let out small whimpers. Donghyuck throws his head back, while you bury your face in his neck, inhaling his musky scent. “Hurry”, he rasped, already panting. Sitting up, you positioned your dripping core over his hardened length, impatient to calm down the fire in your abdomen.
You lowered your hips onto his lap and hiss as his length stretches your folds out. You do your best to relax around him, but Donghyuck is too eager to wait. He grabbed your hips and rolled them against his. Your breath hitched and your nails scratched his glistening torso in reaction. This time, you found it easier to lower your guard and let him lead just a little. He guided you to bounce on his shaft, setting up a fervent and steady pace.
He petted your hair tenderly, his eyes searching for yours, again. He already seemed tousled. Travelling your body down to your core, his hand reached for your bud, which he began to circle with his thumb. You whined at the new sensation, grinding on his hand. Donghyuck keened as your walls clenched around him and continued to roll his hips languidly.
Fairly quickly, overstimulation came over you, you could feel a pulsating sensation in your core and had to hold back a wail. You sucked in a sharp breath, swatting his hand to push it away from your swollen clit. This competition between you two was still ongoing, and you could not let yourself be defeated. He had to lose his composure first.
You watched his eyebrows come together, and his features become rigid. You could tell he was close to losing it. “What is it, Your Highness?” you teased, grabbing locks of his hair. “Are you close?” Visibly unable to form words, his mouth fell open, silent cries escaping it. Relishing in his dizziness, you took great pleasure in watching him convulse. You picked up your pace, slamming your hips against his faster.
Donghyuck quivered, sweat rolling down his temples and the sound of his breathy moans, mixing with the one of skin slapping, already filling the room. Pushed over the edge, he spasmed in ecstasy, crying out with his eyes closed. He jolted his hips a few more times, while you lazily undulated yours, eager to ease the ache between your thighs.
Donghyuck looked like a mess, his cheeks were tinted with a pink flush, and his eyes glazed over. “You look all dishevelled, Your Majesty.” you cooed, replacing a strand of hair behind his ear. It wasn’t so bad to be soft and gentle together. However, it seemed only possible when Donghyuck was blissed out, you knew he would never act affectionately outside of the shadows of his room.
Before you knew it, your eyes rolled back, as your back arched, and you felt your hips stuttering as well as your walls fluttering around his cock, when you came with a loud groan. You scratched him hard enough to leave marks in the process. His girth continued to massage your walls comfortably, while heat spread under your skin. You were panting, and biting on your lips hard enough to draw blood, just to prevent yourself from calling his name over and over again.
When the euphoria subsided, you collapsed on top of him. There, you snuggled close to him, one leg over his body. You let the air fill your lungs and cool your sweaty skin, savouring the feeling of relief.
While you laid on top of him, Donghyuck’s hand reached for your back, drawing small patterns on your skin. His feather-light touch surprised you, but you melted into his embrace nonetheless. You laid there in silence for a moment, on top of his heaving chest, before you felt the air thickening. He was about to say something, to ruin this, you sensed it. Propping yourself up on your arms, you faced him, expectant. Donghyuck took a deep breath, before sighing: “I love you.” your eyes widened at his declaration. “Would that change anything?” he asked, staring into your eyes, visibly looking for reciprocity. Gently taking his face in your hands, you leaned down and kissed him with passion. It may not be the answer he was hoping for, but you were unable to give it to him, to say it out loud. It was a more gentle way of saying no.
This would have to continue that way, there was no other. You will live up to both your fates, finding refuge in each other, in stolen instants of intimacy: temporary escapes to your existences. There was no place for love in that situation.
doing a series seems so stressful, like I LOVE to read them but I can’t imagine making one, I did a part 2 for one fic and I was so stressed about it being as good as the first one, about not making people wait for too long, idk how yall keep up with writing 10+ parts series but thank you for the monster work🙇🏽♀️
warnings: angst, impossible love :), lot of dialogues, fighting, conflicting feelings, jealousy :(, smut mdni, prob bad English sorry
word count: 4.8k
summary: after that night you spent with the prince, you don’t seem to hold on to the same feelings you always had for him, but none of your internal conflicts matter, since the wedding is approaching, and you will have no part to play in this unfolding drama.
A/N: maybe like 4 people requested a part 2 and I'm a people pleaser. + thank you to the people who have supported this and given me ideas for part 2💗
After what happened, you retreated to your room in silence. Donghyuck asked you to stay but you thought it would be in your best interests not to, and just like that, you left.
In the quiet of your room, laying down on your own bed, you stared up at the ceiling, lost in your thoughts. You could not help but feel conflicted. You had always thought of Donghyuck as selfish and capricious, but something about him changed that night. You saw him in a new light. You tried to push him out of your mind, as you knew all of this was just a big mistake, but he kept creeping back in. Nothing good would come out of you thinking too much about him, you knew that perfectly well.
You kept replaying your encounter in your mind over and over nonetheless, the way that he had touched and looked at you. You drifted off to sleep conflicted and confused that night.
꧁ ♡ ꧂
The next few days passed in a blur. You tried to avoid the prince as much as possible, but you were still working for him after all.
Donghyuck, on the other hand, did not seem the slightest bit bothered about what had happened. He was acting the same as he always did. Complaining about the slightest inconvenience, whining about everything, he was insufferable. On top of that, he would never look in your direction. He talked to you, yes, he was asking a lot from you, “Y/N, bring me this, do that…”. But you never had the chance to have a real conversation ever since. He was acting as if nothing had ever happened, which only added to your confusion and frustration.
You would talk to him if only you had the chance to. Every time you saw him, he was always surrounded by two or three other servants, and with the wedding approaching, he was often busy with preparations, and so were you. Yes, the wedding, you frequently thought about it. The reason why you were now in the state you were in. You had accepted this foolish idea, first out of generosity for the lady who was going to marry the prince, but now… it was hard for you to feel the same way about her. But you had to come to your senses; the princess was coming here next week, in order to meet Donghyuck and for the engagement party, and deep down, you hoped that he would be insufferable enough to have her flee.
꧁ ♡ ꧂
The kingdom was buzzing with excitement when the Princess arrived. Princess Victoria was an amazing young lady, she was gorgeous, gracious and her mind was sharp. The difference between her character and the prince was blatant: she seemed even more well-mannered next to him. Oh, of course, Donghyuck was acting very differently around her, but you knew his true nature.
The entire kingdom was delighted to have Lady Victoria as their future queen, and even you did like her. She was a kind-hearted woman, your heart would be made of stone if it did not melt at her contact, and unfortunately, it was not. If it was, you wouldn’t feel the twinge of jealousy you felt every time you caught the future couple together. They have been spending a lot of time together since her arrival. She was here for him after all. Donghyuck showed her around the city, and they both got to get to know each other better. All of which you had to watch from afar.
You could not help the way you felt. You tried your best to keep your feelings under control, but it was getting more and more difficult. Every night, the scene replayed in your head, every night the cold of your bed became more unbearable, every night you saw him in your dreams. You wished you never did what you did. You wished you would have just continued to despise him, and you would not care about him spending the rest of his life with somebody else.
He told you he did not want to marry. He did. You did not answer him that night. You picked up your clothing and told him it would be better if you left. But he told you he did not want it, so why was he all over her now? Probably that he was not expecting someone like her, you thought. A woman like Lady Victoria would certainly be hard to resist for a man in need of a wife. You knew you could never be that wife anyway, you had to stop torturing yourself about what he could have said that night, because none of it could ever happen.
꧁ ♡ ꧂
Friday was the day the engagement party would take place. You and the other servants were all over the place, there were so many things to get done before the evening, and all of this shattered your heart into pieces. But who could you blame but yourself? You should have known this would end this way.
Around midday, you found yourself in the prince’s room. It was your turn to tidy it. If this was up to you, you would have never gone back to this place, but of course, it was not. You still had duties to fulfil, and that you felt some strange way about the prince would certainly not be enough of an excuse to skip chores. You thought about how anyone would burst into laughter if you ever told the story. It was ridiculous, really. You had made it everybody’s business that you hated Donghyuck for the last six years, and now you would claim that you slept with him and were starting to get feelings for him?
You laughed nervously as you approached the vanity -avoiding the bed for as long as you could. You put things in their places and cleaned up the dust before footsteps caught your attention. They stopped and you carefully left your eyes to the mirror before you. There, you saw the reflection of the prince, standing on the other side of the room, in front of the door that connected it to the bathroom. You looked at each other for a moment, through the mirror, before you turned around slowly to face him. You had not been alone since that night, and seeing his hazel eyes look into yours had you feel a twinge.
Tentatively, you opened your mouth to speak, but the words failed you. Nothing but air was coming out of it. “Y/N, I’m glad you’re here,” he said after awkwardly clearing his throat. Your eyes were full of expectations as he continued, “I need you to help me choose what I will wear tonight.” You had to hold yourself back from jumping him at this exact moment, but you could not refrain your mouth from hanging open.
Seeing your reaction, Donghyuck sighed, “You know we can’t have this conversation.” with that, he pinched the base of his nose, which only added to your anger. “I thought you had moved on already.”
“How could I?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. You wanted him to give up on his pride more than anything, but still, it was hard to do the same with your own. “Stop acting like this is my fault! You were the one who left, I asked you to stay but you refused!” he spat, aggressively.
You took a step forward, and raised your voice too, “Then why do you act as if nothing happened?!” Suddenly, he grabbed your wrist, “That night, I showed you a part of me I do not want anyone to see, least of all you. Do you understand? We should have never done that!” His voice was assertive and his words harsh. With your wrist still, in a tight hold, he was standing a few inches from you, and the mixture of both his proximity, which you had longed for days and his spite, made you want to cry.
“That night… you asked me to tell you that I loved you. Why did you ask? Do you love me, Donghyuck?” you asked, on the verge of tears, your voice as cold as possible. At this point, you couldn't care less about calling him by his first name.
He lowered his head and let go of your wrist. “I am soon to be married, Y/N,” he said, taking a step backwards. You looked up at his expressionless look and heard your voice crack a little, “So you will?” Donghyuck shook his head, “You’re telling me that as if I had a choice.” Just like that, the tears in the corner of your eyes dried somehow, and you let out a dry chuckle. “I mean, you are a prince, you have more power of will than I could ever dream of.” He sighed, again. “This is not how it works, Y/N. I will have to rule someday, I need to marry, and have an heir of royal blood. Everything is already planned, this is an arrangement between my father and the king of the adjacent kingdom to ensure peace between both countries. This is settled: I will marry his daughter.”
“Why are you explaining this to me as if I was some kind of child?” you asked in disbelief. “I am not! Wh- Don’t make this any more difficult!” he cried out, exasperated. “Oh no, this is not difficult at all. You are of royal blood and I am nothing but a servant. This is why you are explaining to me the political situation of the country I live in. This is why you never had any intention of marrying me!” you didn’t mean to say that last sentence. It came out on its own. “What are you talking about?!” He seemed so angry that the whole palace could hear his shouting and he would not care. “You never even liked me in the first place! If you had ever shown me some sympathy before, maybe I wouldn’t have agreed to marry a woman I know nothing about!”
There was a moment of silence, the reflection of the blow of his words. “This is laughable really.” Your voice was shaky, “You think everything is owed to you, don’t you? You have never been anything but insufferable with me for years, and I am the one who has to show sympathy?! I thought you would finally see me as your equal after what happened, but I was wrong. I am still your servant, and I will always be under you. I will always be the one to bow to your demands.” And with that, you left the room.
Your heart was hammering in your chest while you walked the halls to your room. What an idiot you had been.
꧁ ♡ ꧂
The grand ballroom was decorated with sparkling crystal chandeliers that illuminated the room with a warm, golden glow, as well as furnished flower arrangements and elegant centrepieces. It was impossible for you to get any satisfaction from your hard work though, you were still mad at the prince and conflicted about this whole situation. You had to come clean with yourself. Earlier, you said a lot of things without thinking, which had you questioning even more your own feelings. Indeed, something had changed this night. Something about him, about the way you saw him, how you interacted with each other. This was different from any intercourse you had before. The resentment between each other had aroused a burning passion within you, and it was impossible for you to calm the fire, now that the flames were burning you from within.
The guests, all dressed in their finest attire, began to arrive, mingle and dance to the soft music that played in the background. The prince and princess were the center of attention,of course, making their rounds and greeting the guests, arm in arm. You watched from the sideline as Donghyuck interacted with his fiancée, smiling and giggling at everything she said. You couldn’t believe how he was acting with her. Was he going to reveal his real character once she is pregnant with their first child or will he be strong enough to hide it for the rest of his life? That was it, even though you felt new empathy for the version of him you had seen that night, it was not love. It could not be. You wanted to scream, tell her that he was not what he was pretending to be, that he was a despicable character, not worthy of her affection. Your heart was torn between hate and longing. The desire to ruin his life was oh so strong. You wanted to ruin everything he had, this bright future that was destined for him, that golden frame of him and his future family, you wished to tear it into pieces.
Donghyuck was looking at the princess with both admiration and affection, a stark contrast to how he had always treated you. Their eyes were locked on each other as they twirled and danced around the room. Your heart felt heavy in your chest, you would never have that, neither with him nor with anybody else. You realized that what you felt was simply jealousy, and that struck you like a blow from a sledgehammer. You lost yourself, staring at him as he led her around the room.
Still in the middle of a waltz, he stole a glance in your direction, which you averted as soon as you caught it.
Bending down, he took her hand and brought it to his lips before kissing it softly. You tried to hide it, to keep a stoic expression on your face, but your hands were clenched into fists and your jaw tightened, as your heart twisted with envy. No one could know about your inner turmoil, and since all eyes were on the royal couple, you figured no one would notice if you disappeared.
꧁ ♡ ꧂
Music echoed down the palace halls as you hurried through them, your heart pounding in your chest.
“Y/N, wait.” Donghyuck’s voice echoed between the halls. Not looking back, you continued to walk, which did not stop him, since he kept following you. “What do you have to say to me? I think you cleared everything up before the party.” you spat, speeding up. “Y/N listen to me!” with large footsteps, he caught up with you and grabbed your wrist, it was starting to become a habit, you thought. “Let go of me!” shoving your arm out of his hold, you turned to face him, your eyebrows furrowed. “Then, stop running.” You sighed and crossed your arms on your chest, ready to hear whatever he had to say.
“Why would you care anyway? About all of this, about the wedding.” He did not sound mad, more like confused. So were you. You hadn’t quite come to an agreement with your own feelings, so how were you supposed to put them into words, in front of him of all people? The frown on his face became more evident, and you could tell he was waiting for a serious answer, so you had to come up with something. “I just can’t stand to see you acting all lovey-dovey with her when you spent the night with someone else, not even a week ago.” Donghyuck huffed at your words, “You’re saying this as if I was cheating on her!” “Yes, you did!” You retorted. “I had not even met her when we did that, I know nothing of her ok. This is a marriage of convenience god, how many times do I have to tell you?” Anxiously, he passed his hand through his hair, pacing in front of you.
“Oh, so you are never going to be intimate with her, since it is of convenience.” Really, you didn’t mean to say that out loud. You hated how it made you sound, like you were jealous, like you only wanted him to be intimate with you. Nothing could've stopped your cheeks from flushing, and Donghyuck froze. You two exchanged a glance and he took advantage of the moment of peace to close the distance between you. “I cannot promise you that I will not.” he sighed. “I have obligations to fulfil…” gently, his hand reached for your cheek, “But if I do, I would only think of you.”
It was tempting, really, to submit to his almost sweet words. A part of you wished to lean into his hand and happily settle for what he was offering, but you had your pride, and he should know that better than anyone else. Moving his hand away, you looked into his eyes, and your silence spoke all the words you could have said. Donghyuck sighed, softly shaking his head.
“You know what, Y/N? I think you take me for a fool.” he laughed nervously, rising inside of you an anxious feeling. “You have been the one to always reject me, and look, you want me to make a move on you, but every time I do, you still reject me. Every step I take towards you, you shove me three steps back. I don’t know what you want from me. I wanted to think that if you accepted to spend the night with me it was because you felt the same way I did… But now, I cannot follow you.” You hated that. You hated the tight feeling in your throat. You hated when he was talking like that.
No words would come out of your mouth, and you felt tears starting to form in the corner of your eyes. It was pathetic, but you had nothing better to do than turn on your heels and flee, leaving Donghyuck behind you, his head low, and his heart, just as heavy as yours.
꧁ ♡ ꧂
You could not sleep that night. Your eyes were glued to the ceiling, your throat tight and your stomach knotted. What was next? Donghyuck gets married and you spend the rest of your life taking care of him, his wife and then, his children?
For one second, you considered the possibility of running away, to leave the palace and the temptation of Donghyuck behind. But that was childish. You did not do this job out of mere enjoyment, you did it because you needed it. You had nowhere else to go. Plus, it would be pathetic of you to escape your entire life all because of a prince you couldn’t stop thinking of, one that you despised more than anything just a few days ago. You had always prided yourself on being practical and level-headed, so what were you doing right now?
That night, you felt like you were something more. You felt alive, thrilled, and excited like you had never been before. And despite the whole situation, you longed to feel this way again. You sat up, and let out a long sigh. Maybe you needed this temporary escape from your miserable existence. You could figure out the outcome later.
Barefeet, you made your way down the palace’s silent halls, your heart pounding with both anticipation and adrenaline. The palace was asleep, the only thing you could hear was the song of the cicadas from the courtyard. The skin of your feet against the marble echoed down the hallways, your steps slowing down the closer you got from the princely suite.
Eventually, you reached the large door and hesitated for a moment, your hand hovering over the handle. Then you heard his voice through the door. Muffled words that you could not understand, but they convinced you to push the door open and step inside. You scanned the room and found him sitting on the edge of his bed, facing the window, his back to you. Slowly, he turned around, the moonlight was illuminating his features, he looked dreamy. “I was hoping you would come,” he said, his voice soft and low. You gave him no answer, so he kept going. “Y/N, I think it is time we are honest with each other.”
He got up and approached you. “I cannot tell you that I will cancel my engagement or my upcoming wedding. I cannot tell you that I will propose to you and give you the life that you deserve.” he leaned closer, leaning his forehead on yours. “Because I won’t,” he whispered and managed to break both of your hearts in one single sentence. “Why would you think that I want that?” you managed to sound as fierce as you could, but the crack in your voice gave you away. “What is it then?” he asked, his hand brushing against yours.
Cradling his face in your hands, you murmured against his lips: “I don’t love you.” You watched his eyes get watery, and gulped before continuing, trying to keep your voice steady. “We can keep whatever we have right now. I do not want you to abandon your responsibilities. I am not asking you to elope with me.” “We could if you only asked,” he said, and you gave him a wistful smile.
“This cannot work, Donghyuck. We can’t leave together, we can barely bear each other’s company.” you chuckled lightly. By that time, his hands were resting on your waist. “Why did you come then?” there was a sound of hope in his voice. You, on the other hand, did not have the luxury of hoping for anything. “I told you, we can keep whatever we have…” you trailed off before locking your lips together. The kiss felt like a weight had been taken off your shoulders. You felt relieved. What happened the other night was real, you did have that chemistry that made your heart pound in your temples. He deepened the kiss, as you were both eager to feel each other, hands were roaming your bodies.
When you pulled away, there was a moment of silence between the two of you, except for your ragging breaths. “I want you. Ever since that night, I haven’t been able to think about anything else.” he sounded demanding, which was your favourite version of him. You took a step forward, forcing him to step back. “You can have me.” You forced him backwards until he stumbled onto the bed. As he sat down, he looked up at you, alert to each of your movements, hanging on your every word. “Or I can have you…” you breathed while sliding your hand over the nape of his neck.
There were so many things you had to say to each other, yet, you decided not to say a word. With your eyes glued to his, you slowly untied the lace of your bodice, you got rid of your nightgown, letting it slide to the ground. Donghyuck squeezed the back of your thigh, approaching his lips of your stomach. His warm breath on your skin had you shivering. You grabbed onto his hair, as he trailed kisses down your belly.
“Lay down,” you told him, moving his head away from you. “You are giving me orders now.” he chuckled, stroking your thigh. ”It seems so.” Smiling, you pushed him down and straddled his lap. You were getting comfortable and he was getting lost in your eyes, a sly smile painted over his face. “I hate it that you have this power over me,” he said. “Is that so, Your Highness?” “Oh, now you respect titles,” Donghyuck smirked, thrusting his hips up. Exasperated, you shushed him and pushed him to sink even deeper into the mattress.
You helped him out of his undergarments, revealing his tan and glowing skin. Peppering kisses on his neck, you rocked your hips against him, and he let out small whimpers. Donghyuck throws his head back, while you bury your face in his neck, inhaling his musky scent. “Hurry”, he rasped, already panting. Sitting up, you positioned your dripping core over his hardened length, impatient to calm down the fire in your abdomen.
You lowered your hips onto his lap and hiss as his length stretches your folds out. You do your best to relax around him, but Donghyuck is too eager to wait. He grabbed your hips and rolled them against his. Your breath hitched and your nails scratched his glistening torso in reaction. This time, you found it easier to lower your guard and let him lead just a little. He guided you to bounce on his shaft, setting up a fervent and steady pace.
He petted your hair tenderly, his eyes searching for yours, again. He already seemed tousled. Travelling your body down to your core, his hand reached for your bud, which he began to circle with his thumb. You whined at the new sensation, grinding on his hand. Donghyuck keened as your walls clenched around him and continued to roll his hips languidly.
Fairly quickly, overstimulation came over you, you could feel a pulsating sensation in your core and had to hold back a wail. You sucked in a sharp breath, swatting his hand to push it away from your swollen clit. This competition between you two was still ongoing, and you could not let yourself be defeated. He had to lose his composure first.
You watched his eyebrows come together, and his features become rigid. You could tell he was close to losing it. “What is it, Your Highness?” you teased, grabbing locks of his hair. “Are you close?” Visibly unable to form words, his mouth fell open, silent cries escaping it. Relishing in his dizziness, you took great pleasure in watching him convulse. You picked up your pace, slamming your hips against his faster.
Donghyuck quivered, sweat rolling down his temples and the sound of his breathy moans, mixing with the one of skin slapping, already filling the room. Pushed over the edge, he spasmed in ecstasy, crying out with his eyes closed. He jolted his hips a few more times, while you lazily undulated yours, eager to ease the ache between your thighs.
Donghyuck looked like a mess, his cheeks were tinted with a pink flush, and his eyes glazed over. “You look all dishevelled, Your Majesty.” you cooed, replacing a strand of hair behind his ear. It wasn’t so bad to be soft and gentle together. However, it seemed only possible when Donghyuck was blissed out, you knew he would never act affectionately outside of the shadows of his room.
Before you knew it, your eyes rolled back, as your back arched, and you felt your hips stuttering as well as your walls fluttering around his cock, when you came with a loud groan. You scratched him hard enough to leave marks in the process. His girth continued to massage your walls comfortably, while heat spread under your skin. You were panting, and biting on your lips hard enough to draw blood, just to prevent yourself from calling his name over and over again.
When the euphoria subsided, you collapsed on top of him. There, you snuggled close to him, one leg over his body. You let the air fill your lungs and cool your sweaty skin, savouring the feeling of relief.
While you laid on top of him, Donghyuck’s hand reached for your back, drawing small patterns on your skin. His feather-light touch surprised you, but you melted into his embrace nonetheless. You laid there in silence for a moment, on top of his heaving chest, before you felt the air thickening. He was about to say something, to ruin this, you sensed it. Propping yourself up on your arms, you faced him, expectant. Donghyuck took a deep breath, before sighing: “I love you.” your eyes widened at his declaration. “Would that change anything?” he asked, staring into your eyes, visibly looking for reciprocity. Gently taking his face in your hands, you leaned down and kissed him with passion. It may not be the answer he was hoping for, but you were unable to give it to him, to say it out loud. It was a more gentle way of saying no.
This would have to continue that way, there was no other. You will live up to both your fates, finding refuge in each other, in stolen instants of intimacy: temporary escapes to your existences. There was no place for love in that situation.
warnings: angst, impossible love :), lot of dialogues, fighting, conflicting feelings, jealousy :(, smut mdni, prob bad English sorry
word count: 4.8k
summary: after that night you spent with the prince, you don’t seem to hold on to the same feelings you always had for him, but none of your internal conflicts matter, since the wedding is approaching, and you will have no part to play in this unfolding drama.
A/N: maybe like 4 people requested a part 2 and I'm a people pleaser. + thank you to the people who have supported this and given me ideas for part 2💗
After what happened, you retreated to your room in silence. Donghyuck asked you to stay but you thought it would be in your best interests not to, and just like that, you left.
In the quiet of your room, laying down on your own bed, you stared up at the ceiling, lost in your thoughts. You could not help but feel conflicted. You had always thought of Donghyuck as selfish and capricious, but something about him changed that night. You saw him in a new light. You tried to push him out of your mind, as you knew all of this was just a big mistake, but he kept creeping back in. Nothing good would come out of you thinking too much about him, you knew that perfectly well.
You kept replaying your encounter in your mind over and over nonetheless, the way that he had touched and looked at you. You drifted off to sleep conflicted and confused that night.
꧁ ♡ ꧂
The next few days passed in a blur. You tried to avoid the prince as much as possible, but you were still working for him after all.
Donghyuck, on the other hand, did not seem the slightest bit bothered about what had happened. He was acting the same as he always did. Complaining about the slightest inconvenience, whining about everything, he was insufferable. On top of that, he would never look in your direction. He talked to you, yes, he was asking a lot from you, “Y/N, bring me this, do that…”. But you never had the chance to have a real conversation ever since. He was acting as if nothing had ever happened, which only added to your confusion and frustration.
You would talk to him if only you had the chance to. Every time you saw him, he was always surrounded by two or three other servants, and with the wedding approaching, he was often busy with preparations, and so were you. Yes, the wedding, you frequently thought about it. The reason why you were now in the state you were in. You had accepted this foolish idea, first out of generosity for the lady who was going to marry the prince, but now… it was hard for you to feel the same way about her. But you had to come to your senses; the princess was coming here next week, in order to meet Donghyuck and for the engagement party, and deep down, you hoped that he would be insufferable enough to have her flee.
꧁ ♡ ꧂
The kingdom was buzzing with excitement when the Princess arrived. Princess Victoria was an amazing young lady, she was gorgeous, gracious and her mind was sharp. The difference between her character and the prince was blatant: she seemed even more well-mannered next to him. Oh, of course, Donghyuck was acting very differently around her, but you knew his true nature.
The entire kingdom was delighted to have Lady Victoria as their future queen, and even you did like her. She was a kind-hearted woman, your heart would be made of stone if it did not melt at her contact, and unfortunately, it was not. If it was, you wouldn’t feel the twinge of jealousy you felt every time you caught the future couple together. They have been spending a lot of time together since her arrival. She was here for him after all. Donghyuck showed her around the city, and they both got to get to know each other better. All of which you had to watch from afar.
You could not help the way you felt. You tried your best to keep your feelings under control, but it was getting more and more difficult. Every night, the scene replayed in your head, every night the cold of your bed became more unbearable, every night you saw him in your dreams. You wished you never did what you did. You wished you would have just continued to despise him, and you would not care about him spending the rest of his life with somebody else.
He told you he did not want to marry. He did. You did not answer him that night. You picked up your clothing and told him it would be better if you left. But he told you he did not want it, so why was he all over her now? Probably that he was not expecting someone like her, you thought. A woman like Lady Victoria would certainly be hard to resist for a man in need of a wife. You knew you could never be that wife anyway, you had to stop torturing yourself about what he could have said that night, because none of it could ever happen.
꧁ ♡ ꧂
Friday was the day the engagement party would take place. You and the other servants were all over the place, there were so many things to get done before the evening, and all of this shattered your heart into pieces. But who could you blame but yourself? You should have known this would end this way.
Around midday, you found yourself in the prince’s room. It was your turn to tidy it. If this was up to you, you would have never gone back to this place, but of course, it was not. You still had duties to fulfil, and that you felt some strange way about the prince would certainly not be enough of an excuse to skip chores. You thought about how anyone would burst into laughter if you ever told the story. It was ridiculous, really. You had made it everybody’s business that you hated Donghyuck for the last six years, and now you would claim that you slept with him and were starting to get feelings for him?
You laughed nervously as you approached the vanity -avoiding the bed for as long as you could. You put things in their places and cleaned up the dust before footsteps caught your attention. They stopped and you carefully left your eyes to the mirror before you. There, you saw the reflection of the prince, standing on the other side of the room, in front of the door that connected it to the bathroom. You looked at each other for a moment, through the mirror, before you turned around slowly to face him. You had not been alone since that night, and seeing his hazel eyes look into yours had you feel a twinge.
Tentatively, you opened your mouth to speak, but the words failed you. Nothing but air was coming out of it. “Y/N, I’m glad you’re here,” he said after awkwardly clearing his throat. Your eyes were full of expectations as he continued, “I need you to help me choose what I will wear tonight.” You had to hold yourself back from jumping him at this exact moment, but you could not refrain your mouth from hanging open.
Seeing your reaction, Donghyuck sighed, “You know we can’t have this conversation.” with that, he pinched the base of his nose, which only added to your anger. “I thought you had moved on already.”
“How could I?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. You wanted him to give up on his pride more than anything, but still, it was hard to do the same with your own. “Stop acting like this is my fault! You were the one who left, I asked you to stay but you refused!” he spat, aggressively.
You took a step forward, and raised your voice too, “Then why do you act as if nothing happened?!” Suddenly, he grabbed your wrist, “That night, I showed you a part of me I do not want anyone to see, least of all you. Do you understand? We should have never done that!” His voice was assertive and his words harsh. With your wrist still, in a tight hold, he was standing a few inches from you, and the mixture of both his proximity, which you had longed for days and his spite, made you want to cry.
“That night… you asked me to tell you that I loved you. Why did you ask? Do you love me, Donghyuck?” you asked, on the verge of tears, your voice as cold as possible. At this point, you couldn't care less about calling him by his first name.
He lowered his head and let go of your wrist. “I am soon to be married, Y/N,” he said, taking a step backwards. You looked up at his expressionless look and heard your voice crack a little, “So you will?” Donghyuck shook his head, “You’re telling me that as if I had a choice.” Just like that, the tears in the corner of your eyes dried somehow, and you let out a dry chuckle. “I mean, you are a prince, you have more power of will than I could ever dream of.” He sighed, again. “This is not how it works, Y/N. I will have to rule someday, I need to marry, and have an heir of royal blood. Everything is already planned, this is an arrangement between my father and the king of the adjacent kingdom to ensure peace between both countries. This is settled: I will marry his daughter.”
“Why are you explaining this to me as if I was some kind of child?” you asked in disbelief. “I am not! Wh- Don’t make this any more difficult!” he cried out, exasperated. “Oh no, this is not difficult at all. You are of royal blood and I am nothing but a servant. This is why you are explaining to me the political situation of the country I live in. This is why you never had any intention of marrying me!” you didn’t mean to say that last sentence. It came out on its own. “What are you talking about?!” He seemed so angry that the whole palace could hear his shouting and he would not care. “You never even liked me in the first place! If you had ever shown me some sympathy before, maybe I wouldn’t have agreed to marry a woman I know nothing about!”
There was a moment of silence, the reflection of the blow of his words. “This is laughable really.” Your voice was shaky, “You think everything is owed to you, don’t you? You have never been anything but insufferable with me for years, and I am the one who has to show sympathy?! I thought you would finally see me as your equal after what happened, but I was wrong. I am still your servant, and I will always be under you. I will always be the one to bow to your demands.” And with that, you left the room.
Your heart was hammering in your chest while you walked the halls to your room. What an idiot you had been.
꧁ ♡ ꧂
The grand ballroom was decorated with sparkling crystal chandeliers that illuminated the room with a warm, golden glow, as well as furnished flower arrangements and elegant centrepieces. It was impossible for you to get any satisfaction from your hard work though, you were still mad at the prince and conflicted about this whole situation. You had to come clean with yourself. Earlier, you said a lot of things without thinking, which had you questioning even more your own feelings. Indeed, something had changed this night. Something about him, about the way you saw him, how you interacted with each other. This was different from any intercourse you had before. The resentment between each other had aroused a burning passion within you, and it was impossible for you to calm the fire, now that the flames were burning you from within.
The guests, all dressed in their finest attire, began to arrive, mingle and dance to the soft music that played in the background. The prince and princess were the center of attention,of course, making their rounds and greeting the guests, arm in arm. You watched from the sideline as Donghyuck interacted with his fiancée, smiling and giggling at everything she said. You couldn’t believe how he was acting with her. Was he going to reveal his real character once she is pregnant with their first child or will he be strong enough to hide it for the rest of his life? That was it, even though you felt new empathy for the version of him you had seen that night, it was not love. It could not be. You wanted to scream, tell her that he was not what he was pretending to be, that he was a despicable character, not worthy of her affection. Your heart was torn between hate and longing. The desire to ruin his life was oh so strong. You wanted to ruin everything he had, this bright future that was destined for him, that golden frame of him and his future family, you wished to tear it into pieces.
Donghyuck was looking at the princess with both admiration and affection, a stark contrast to how he had always treated you. Their eyes were locked on each other as they twirled and danced around the room. Your heart felt heavy in your chest, you would never have that, neither with him nor with anybody else. You realized that what you felt was simply jealousy, and that struck you like a blow from a sledgehammer. You lost yourself, staring at him as he led her around the room.
Still in the middle of a waltz, he stole a glance in your direction, which you averted as soon as you caught it.
Bending down, he took her hand and brought it to his lips before kissing it softly. You tried to hide it, to keep a stoic expression on your face, but your hands were clenched into fists and your jaw tightened, as your heart twisted with envy. No one could know about your inner turmoil, and since all eyes were on the royal couple, you figured no one would notice if you disappeared.
꧁ ♡ ꧂
Music echoed down the palace halls as you hurried through them, your heart pounding in your chest.
“Y/N, wait.” Donghyuck’s voice echoed between the halls. Not looking back, you continued to walk, which did not stop him, since he kept following you. “What do you have to say to me? I think you cleared everything up before the party.” you spat, speeding up. “Y/N listen to me!” with large footsteps, he caught up with you and grabbed your wrist, it was starting to become a habit, you thought. “Let go of me!” shoving your arm out of his hold, you turned to face him, your eyebrows furrowed. “Then, stop running.” You sighed and crossed your arms on your chest, ready to hear whatever he had to say.
“Why would you care anyway? About all of this, about the wedding.” He did not sound mad, more like confused. So were you. You hadn’t quite come to an agreement with your own feelings, so how were you supposed to put them into words, in front of him of all people? The frown on his face became more evident, and you could tell he was waiting for a serious answer, so you had to come up with something. “I just can’t stand to see you acting all lovey-dovey with her when you spent the night with someone else, not even a week ago.” Donghyuck huffed at your words, “You’re saying this as if I was cheating on her!” “Yes, you did!” You retorted. “I had not even met her when we did that, I know nothing of her ok. This is a marriage of convenience god, how many times do I have to tell you?” Anxiously, he passed his hand through his hair, pacing in front of you.
“Oh, so you are never going to be intimate with her, since it is of convenience.” Really, you didn’t mean to say that out loud. You hated how it made you sound, like you were jealous, like you only wanted him to be intimate with you. Nothing could've stopped your cheeks from flushing, and Donghyuck froze. You two exchanged a glance and he took advantage of the moment of peace to close the distance between you. “I cannot promise you that I will not.” he sighed. “I have obligations to fulfil…” gently, his hand reached for your cheek, “But if I do, I would only think of you.”
It was tempting, really, to submit to his almost sweet words. A part of you wished to lean into his hand and happily settle for what he was offering, but you had your pride, and he should know that better than anyone else. Moving his hand away, you looked into his eyes, and your silence spoke all the words you could have said. Donghyuck sighed, softly shaking his head.
“You know what, Y/N? I think you take me for a fool.” he laughed nervously, rising inside of you an anxious feeling. “You have been the one to always reject me, and look, you want me to make a move on you, but every time I do, you still reject me. Every step I take towards you, you shove me three steps back. I don’t know what you want from me. I wanted to think that if you accepted to spend the night with me it was because you felt the same way I did… But now, I cannot follow you.” You hated that. You hated the tight feeling in your throat. You hated when he was talking like that.
No words would come out of your mouth, and you felt tears starting to form in the corner of your eyes. It was pathetic, but you had nothing better to do than turn on your heels and flee, leaving Donghyuck behind you, his head low, and his heart, just as heavy as yours.
꧁ ♡ ꧂
You could not sleep that night. Your eyes were glued to the ceiling, your throat tight and your stomach knotted. What was next? Donghyuck gets married and you spend the rest of your life taking care of him, his wife and then, his children?
For one second, you considered the possibility of running away, to leave the palace and the temptation of Donghyuck behind. But that was childish. You did not do this job out of mere enjoyment, you did it because you needed it. You had nowhere else to go. Plus, it would be pathetic of you to escape your entire life all because of a prince you couldn’t stop thinking of, one that you despised more than anything just a few days ago. You had always prided yourself on being practical and level-headed, so what were you doing right now?
That night, you felt like you were something more. You felt alive, thrilled, and excited like you had never been before. And despite the whole situation, you longed to feel this way again. You sat up, and let out a long sigh. Maybe you needed this temporary escape from your miserable existence. You could figure out the outcome later.
Barefeet, you made your way down the palace’s silent halls, your heart pounding with both anticipation and adrenaline. The palace was asleep, the only thing you could hear was the song of the cicadas from the courtyard. The skin of your feet against the marble echoed down the hallways, your steps slowing down the closer you got from the princely suite.
Eventually, you reached the large door and hesitated for a moment, your hand hovering over the handle. Then you heard his voice through the door. Muffled words that you could not understand, but they convinced you to push the door open and step inside. You scanned the room and found him sitting on the edge of his bed, facing the window, his back to you. Slowly, he turned around, the moonlight was illuminating his features, he looked dreamy. “I was hoping you would come,” he said, his voice soft and low. You gave him no answer, so he kept going. “Y/N, I think it is time we are honest with each other.”
He got up and approached you. “I cannot tell you that I will cancel my engagement or my upcoming wedding. I cannot tell you that I will propose to you and give you the life that you deserve.” he leaned closer, leaning his forehead on yours. “Because I won’t,” he whispered and managed to break both of your hearts in one single sentence. “Why would you think that I want that?” you managed to sound as fierce as you could, but the crack in your voice gave you away. “What is it then?” he asked, his hand brushing against yours.
Cradling his face in your hands, you murmured against his lips: “I don’t love you.” You watched his eyes get watery, and gulped before continuing, trying to keep your voice steady. “We can keep whatever we have right now. I do not want you to abandon your responsibilities. I am not asking you to elope with me.” “We could if you only asked,” he said, and you gave him a wistful smile.
“This cannot work, Donghyuck. We can’t leave together, we can barely bear each other’s company.” you chuckled lightly. By that time, his hands were resting on your waist. “Why did you come then?” there was a sound of hope in his voice. You, on the other hand, did not have the luxury of hoping for anything. “I told you, we can keep whatever we have…” you trailed off before locking your lips together. The kiss felt like a weight had been taken off your shoulders. You felt relieved. What happened the other night was real, you did have that chemistry that made your heart pound in your temples. He deepened the kiss, as you were both eager to feel each other, hands were roaming your bodies.
When you pulled away, there was a moment of silence between the two of you, except for your ragging breaths. “I want you. Ever since that night, I haven’t been able to think about anything else.” he sounded demanding, which was your favourite version of him. You took a step forward, forcing him to step back. “You can have me.” You forced him backwards until he stumbled onto the bed. As he sat down, he looked up at you, alert to each of your movements, hanging on your every word. “Or I can have you…” you breathed while sliding your hand over the nape of his neck.
There were so many things you had to say to each other, yet, you decided not to say a word. With your eyes glued to his, you slowly untied the lace of your bodice, you got rid of your nightgown, letting it slide to the ground. Donghyuck squeezed the back of your thigh, approaching his lips of your stomach. His warm breath on your skin had you shivering. You grabbed onto his hair, as he trailed kisses down your belly.
“Lay down,” you told him, moving his head away from you. “You are giving me orders now.” he chuckled, stroking your thigh. ”It seems so.” Smiling, you pushed him down and straddled his lap. You were getting comfortable and he was getting lost in your eyes, a sly smile painted over his face. “I hate it that you have this power over me,” he said. “Is that so, Your Highness?” “Oh, now you respect titles,” Donghyuck smirked, thrusting his hips up. Exasperated, you shushed him and pushed him to sink even deeper into the mattress.
You helped him out of his undergarments, revealing his tan and glowing skin. Peppering kisses on his neck, you rocked your hips against him, and he let out small whimpers. Donghyuck throws his head back, while you bury your face in his neck, inhaling his musky scent. “Hurry”, he rasped, already panting. Sitting up, you positioned your dripping core over his hardened length, impatient to calm down the fire in your abdomen.
You lowered your hips onto his lap and hiss as his length stretches your folds out. You do your best to relax around him, but Donghyuck is too eager to wait. He grabbed your hips and rolled them against his. Your breath hitched and your nails scratched his glistening torso in reaction. This time, you found it easier to lower your guard and let him lead just a little. He guided you to bounce on his shaft, setting up a fervent and steady pace.
He petted your hair tenderly, his eyes searching for yours, again. He already seemed tousled. Travelling your body down to your core, his hand reached for your bud, which he began to circle with his thumb. You whined at the new sensation, grinding on his hand. Donghyuck keened as your walls clenched around him and continued to roll his hips languidly.
Fairly quickly, overstimulation came over you, you could feel a pulsating sensation in your core and had to hold back a wail. You sucked in a sharp breath, swatting his hand to push it away from your swollen clit. This competition between you two was still ongoing, and you could not let yourself be defeated. He had to lose his composure first.
You watched his eyebrows come together, and his features become rigid. You could tell he was close to losing it. “What is it, Your Highness?” you teased, grabbing locks of his hair. “Are you close?” Visibly unable to form words, his mouth fell open, silent cries escaping it. Relishing in his dizziness, you took great pleasure in watching him convulse. You picked up your pace, slamming your hips against his faster.
Donghyuck quivered, sweat rolling down his temples and the sound of his breathy moans, mixing with the one of skin slapping, already filling the room. Pushed over the edge, he spasmed in ecstasy, crying out with his eyes closed. He jolted his hips a few more times, while you lazily undulated yours, eager to ease the ache between your thighs.
Donghyuck looked like a mess, his cheeks were tinted with a pink flush, and his eyes glazed over. “You look all dishevelled, Your Majesty.” you cooed, replacing a strand of hair behind his ear. It wasn’t so bad to be soft and gentle together. However, it seemed only possible when Donghyuck was blissed out, you knew he would never act affectionately outside of the shadows of his room.
Before you knew it, your eyes rolled back, as your back arched, and you felt your hips stuttering as well as your walls fluttering around his cock, when you came with a loud groan. You scratched him hard enough to leave marks in the process. His girth continued to massage your walls comfortably, while heat spread under your skin. You were panting, and biting on your lips hard enough to draw blood, just to prevent yourself from calling his name over and over again.
When the euphoria subsided, you collapsed on top of him. There, you snuggled close to him, one leg over his body. You let the air fill your lungs and cool your sweaty skin, savouring the feeling of relief.
While you laid on top of him, Donghyuck’s hand reached for your back, drawing small patterns on your skin. His feather-light touch surprised you, but you melted into his embrace nonetheless. You laid there in silence for a moment, on top of his heaving chest, before you felt the air thickening. He was about to say something, to ruin this, you sensed it. Propping yourself up on your arms, you faced him, expectant. Donghyuck took a deep breath, before sighing: “I love you.” your eyes widened at his declaration. “Would that change anything?” he asked, staring into your eyes, visibly looking for reciprocity. Gently taking his face in your hands, you leaned down and kissed him with passion. It may not be the answer he was hoping for, but you were unable to give it to him, to say it out loud. It was a more gentle way of saying no.
This would have to continue that way, there was no other. You will live up to both your fates, finding refuge in each other, in stolen instants of intimacy: temporary escapes to your existences. There was no place for love in that situation.
i asked for the angst and got it and yet i still feel sad but at the same time loving it.
#yes it is complicated like that #i want prince donghyuck to myself too #but i'm no princess #i think i love torturing myself #princedonghyuck i love you
warnings: angst, impossible love :), lot of dialogues, fighting, conflicting feelings, jealousy :(, smut mdni, prob bad English sorry
word count: 4.8k
summary: after that night you spent with the prince, you don’t seem to hold on to the same feelings you always had for him, but none of your internal conflicts matter, since the wedding is approaching, and you will have no part to play in this unfolding drama.
A/N: maybe like 4 people requested a part 2 and I'm a people pleaser. + thank you to the people who have supported this and given me ideas for part 2💗
After what happened, you retreated to your room in silence. Donghyuck asked you to stay but you thought it would be in your best interests not to, and just like that, you left.
In the quiet of your room, laying down on your own bed, you stared up at the ceiling, lost in your thoughts. You could not help but feel conflicted. You had always thought of Donghyuck as selfish and capricious, but something about him changed that night. You saw him in a new light. You tried to push him out of your mind, as you knew all of this was just a big mistake, but he kept creeping back in. Nothing good would come out of you thinking too much about him, you knew that perfectly well.
You kept replaying your encounter in your mind over and over nonetheless, the way that he had touched and looked at you. You drifted off to sleep conflicted and confused that night.
꧁ ♡ ꧂
The next few days passed in a blur. You tried to avoid the prince as much as possible, but you were still working for him after all.
Donghyuck, on the other hand, did not seem the slightest bit bothered about what had happened. He was acting the same as he always did. Complaining about the slightest inconvenience, whining about everything, he was insufferable. On top of that, he would never look in your direction. He talked to you, yes, he was asking a lot from you, “Y/N, bring me this, do that…”. But you never had the chance to have a real conversation ever since. He was acting as if nothing had ever happened, which only added to your confusion and frustration.
You would talk to him if only you had the chance to. Every time you saw him, he was always surrounded by two or three other servants, and with the wedding approaching, he was often busy with preparations, and so were you. Yes, the wedding, you frequently thought about it. The reason why you were now in the state you were in. You had accepted this foolish idea, first out of generosity for the lady who was going to marry the prince, but now… it was hard for you to feel the same way about her. But you had to come to your senses; the princess was coming here next week, in order to meet Donghyuck and for the engagement party, and deep down, you hoped that he would be insufferable enough to have her flee.
꧁ ♡ ꧂
The kingdom was buzzing with excitement when the Princess arrived. Princess Victoria was an amazing young lady, she was gorgeous, gracious and her mind was sharp. The difference between her character and the prince was blatant: she seemed even more well-mannered next to him. Oh, of course, Donghyuck was acting very differently around her, but you knew his true nature.
The entire kingdom was delighted to have Lady Victoria as their future queen, and even you did like her. She was a kind-hearted woman, your heart would be made of stone if it did not melt at her contact, and unfortunately, it was not. If it was, you wouldn’t feel the twinge of jealousy you felt every time you caught the future couple together. They have been spending a lot of time together since her arrival. She was here for him after all. Donghyuck showed her around the city, and they both got to get to know each other better. All of which you had to watch from afar.
You could not help the way you felt. You tried your best to keep your feelings under control, but it was getting more and more difficult. Every night, the scene replayed in your head, every night the cold of your bed became more unbearable, every night you saw him in your dreams. You wished you never did what you did. You wished you would have just continued to despise him, and you would not care about him spending the rest of his life with somebody else.
He told you he did not want to marry. He did. You did not answer him that night. You picked up your clothing and told him it would be better if you left. But he told you he did not want it, so why was he all over her now? Probably that he was not expecting someone like her, you thought. A woman like Lady Victoria would certainly be hard to resist for a man in need of a wife. You knew you could never be that wife anyway, you had to stop torturing yourself about what he could have said that night, because none of it could ever happen.
꧁ ♡ ꧂
Friday was the day the engagement party would take place. You and the other servants were all over the place, there were so many things to get done before the evening, and all of this shattered your heart into pieces. But who could you blame but yourself? You should have known this would end this way.
Around midday, you found yourself in the prince’s room. It was your turn to tidy it. If this was up to you, you would have never gone back to this place, but of course, it was not. You still had duties to fulfil, and that you felt some strange way about the prince would certainly not be enough of an excuse to skip chores. You thought about how anyone would burst into laughter if you ever told the story. It was ridiculous, really. You had made it everybody’s business that you hated Donghyuck for the last six years, and now you would claim that you slept with him and were starting to get feelings for him?
You laughed nervously as you approached the vanity -avoiding the bed for as long as you could. You put things in their places and cleaned up the dust before footsteps caught your attention. They stopped and you carefully left your eyes to the mirror before you. There, you saw the reflection of the prince, standing on the other side of the room, in front of the door that connected it to the bathroom. You looked at each other for a moment, through the mirror, before you turned around slowly to face him. You had not been alone since that night, and seeing his hazel eyes look into yours had you feel a twinge.
Tentatively, you opened your mouth to speak, but the words failed you. Nothing but air was coming out of it. “Y/N, I’m glad you’re here,” he said after awkwardly clearing his throat. Your eyes were full of expectations as he continued, “I need you to help me choose what I will wear tonight.” You had to hold yourself back from jumping him at this exact moment, but you could not refrain your mouth from hanging open.
Seeing your reaction, Donghyuck sighed, “You know we can’t have this conversation.” with that, he pinched the base of his nose, which only added to your anger. “I thought you had moved on already.”
“How could I?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. You wanted him to give up on his pride more than anything, but still, it was hard to do the same with your own. “Stop acting like this is my fault! You were the one who left, I asked you to stay but you refused!” he spat, aggressively.
You took a step forward, and raised your voice too, “Then why do you act as if nothing happened?!” Suddenly, he grabbed your wrist, “That night, I showed you a part of me I do not want anyone to see, least of all you. Do you understand? We should have never done that!” His voice was assertive and his words harsh. With your wrist still, in a tight hold, he was standing a few inches from you, and the mixture of both his proximity, which you had longed for days and his spite, made you want to cry.
“That night… you asked me to tell you that I loved you. Why did you ask? Do you love me, Donghyuck?” you asked, on the verge of tears, your voice as cold as possible. At this point, you couldn't care less about calling him by his first name.
He lowered his head and let go of your wrist. “I am soon to be married, Y/N,” he said, taking a step backwards. You looked up at his expressionless look and heard your voice crack a little, “So you will?” Donghyuck shook his head, “You’re telling me that as if I had a choice.” Just like that, the tears in the corner of your eyes dried somehow, and you let out a dry chuckle. “I mean, you are a prince, you have more power of will than I could ever dream of.” He sighed, again. “This is not how it works, Y/N. I will have to rule someday, I need to marry, and have an heir of royal blood. Everything is already planned, this is an arrangement between my father and the king of the adjacent kingdom to ensure peace between both countries. This is settled: I will marry his daughter.”
“Why are you explaining this to me as if I was some kind of child?” you asked in disbelief. “I am not! Wh- Don’t make this any more difficult!” he cried out, exasperated. “Oh no, this is not difficult at all. You are of royal blood and I am nothing but a servant. This is why you are explaining to me the political situation of the country I live in. This is why you never had any intention of marrying me!” you didn’t mean to say that last sentence. It came out on its own. “What are you talking about?!” He seemed so angry that the whole palace could hear his shouting and he would not care. “You never even liked me in the first place! If you had ever shown me some sympathy before, maybe I wouldn’t have agreed to marry a woman I know nothing about!”
There was a moment of silence, the reflection of the blow of his words. “This is laughable really.” Your voice was shaky, “You think everything is owed to you, don’t you? You have never been anything but insufferable with me for years, and I am the one who has to show sympathy?! I thought you would finally see me as your equal after what happened, but I was wrong. I am still your servant, and I will always be under you. I will always be the one to bow to your demands.” And with that, you left the room.
Your heart was hammering in your chest while you walked the halls to your room. What an idiot you had been.
꧁ ♡ ꧂
The grand ballroom was decorated with sparkling crystal chandeliers that illuminated the room with a warm, golden glow, as well as furnished flower arrangements and elegant centrepieces. It was impossible for you to get any satisfaction from your hard work though, you were still mad at the prince and conflicted about this whole situation. You had to come clean with yourself. Earlier, you said a lot of things without thinking, which had you questioning even more your own feelings. Indeed, something had changed this night. Something about him, about the way you saw him, how you interacted with each other. This was different from any intercourse you had before. The resentment between each other had aroused a burning passion within you, and it was impossible for you to calm the fire, now that the flames were burning you from within.
The guests, all dressed in their finest attire, began to arrive, mingle and dance to the soft music that played in the background. The prince and princess were the center of attention,of course, making their rounds and greeting the guests, arm in arm. You watched from the sideline as Donghyuck interacted with his fiancée, smiling and giggling at everything she said. You couldn’t believe how he was acting with her. Was he going to reveal his real character once she is pregnant with their first child or will he be strong enough to hide it for the rest of his life? That was it, even though you felt new empathy for the version of him you had seen that night, it was not love. It could not be. You wanted to scream, tell her that he was not what he was pretending to be, that he was a despicable character, not worthy of her affection. Your heart was torn between hate and longing. The desire to ruin his life was oh so strong. You wanted to ruin everything he had, this bright future that was destined for him, that golden frame of him and his future family, you wished to tear it into pieces.
Donghyuck was looking at the princess with both admiration and affection, a stark contrast to how he had always treated you. Their eyes were locked on each other as they twirled and danced around the room. Your heart felt heavy in your chest, you would never have that, neither with him nor with anybody else. You realized that what you felt was simply jealousy, and that struck you like a blow from a sledgehammer. You lost yourself, staring at him as he led her around the room.
Still in the middle of a waltz, he stole a glance in your direction, which you averted as soon as you caught it.
Bending down, he took her hand and brought it to his lips before kissing it softly. You tried to hide it, to keep a stoic expression on your face, but your hands were clenched into fists and your jaw tightened, as your heart twisted with envy. No one could know about your inner turmoil, and since all eyes were on the royal couple, you figured no one would notice if you disappeared.
꧁ ♡ ꧂
Music echoed down the palace halls as you hurried through them, your heart pounding in your chest.
“Y/N, wait.” Donghyuck’s voice echoed between the halls. Not looking back, you continued to walk, which did not stop him, since he kept following you. “What do you have to say to me? I think you cleared everything up before the party.” you spat, speeding up. “Y/N listen to me!” with large footsteps, he caught up with you and grabbed your wrist, it was starting to become a habit, you thought. “Let go of me!” shoving your arm out of his hold, you turned to face him, your eyebrows furrowed. “Then, stop running.” You sighed and crossed your arms on your chest, ready to hear whatever he had to say.
“Why would you care anyway? About all of this, about the wedding.” He did not sound mad, more like confused. So were you. You hadn’t quite come to an agreement with your own feelings, so how were you supposed to put them into words, in front of him of all people? The frown on his face became more evident, and you could tell he was waiting for a serious answer, so you had to come up with something. “I just can’t stand to see you acting all lovey-dovey with her when you spent the night with someone else, not even a week ago.” Donghyuck huffed at your words, “You’re saying this as if I was cheating on her!” “Yes, you did!” You retorted. “I had not even met her when we did that, I know nothing of her ok. This is a marriage of convenience god, how many times do I have to tell you?” Anxiously, he passed his hand through his hair, pacing in front of you.
“Oh, so you are never going to be intimate with her, since it is of convenience.” Really, you didn’t mean to say that out loud. You hated how it made you sound, like you were jealous, like you only wanted him to be intimate with you. Nothing could've stopped your cheeks from flushing, and Donghyuck froze. You two exchanged a glance and he took advantage of the moment of peace to close the distance between you. “I cannot promise you that I will not.” he sighed. “I have obligations to fulfil…” gently, his hand reached for your cheek, “But if I do, I would only think of you.”
It was tempting, really, to submit to his almost sweet words. A part of you wished to lean into his hand and happily settle for what he was offering, but you had your pride, and he should know that better than anyone else. Moving his hand away, you looked into his eyes, and your silence spoke all the words you could have said. Donghyuck sighed, softly shaking his head.
“You know what, Y/N? I think you take me for a fool.” he laughed nervously, rising inside of you an anxious feeling. “You have been the one to always reject me, and look, you want me to make a move on you, but every time I do, you still reject me. Every step I take towards you, you shove me three steps back. I don’t know what you want from me. I wanted to think that if you accepted to spend the night with me it was because you felt the same way I did… But now, I cannot follow you.” You hated that. You hated the tight feeling in your throat. You hated when he was talking like that.
No words would come out of your mouth, and you felt tears starting to form in the corner of your eyes. It was pathetic, but you had nothing better to do than turn on your heels and flee, leaving Donghyuck behind you, his head low, and his heart, just as heavy as yours.
꧁ ♡ ꧂
You could not sleep that night. Your eyes were glued to the ceiling, your throat tight and your stomach knotted. What was next? Donghyuck gets married and you spend the rest of your life taking care of him, his wife and then, his children?
For one second, you considered the possibility of running away, to leave the palace and the temptation of Donghyuck behind. But that was childish. You did not do this job out of mere enjoyment, you did it because you needed it. You had nowhere else to go. Plus, it would be pathetic of you to escape your entire life all because of a prince you couldn’t stop thinking of, one that you despised more than anything just a few days ago. You had always prided yourself on being practical and level-headed, so what were you doing right now?
That night, you felt like you were something more. You felt alive, thrilled, and excited like you had never been before. And despite the whole situation, you longed to feel this way again. You sat up, and let out a long sigh. Maybe you needed this temporary escape from your miserable existence. You could figure out the outcome later.
Barefeet, you made your way down the palace’s silent halls, your heart pounding with both anticipation and adrenaline. The palace was asleep, the only thing you could hear was the song of the cicadas from the courtyard. The skin of your feet against the marble echoed down the hallways, your steps slowing down the closer you got from the princely suite.
Eventually, you reached the large door and hesitated for a moment, your hand hovering over the handle. Then you heard his voice through the door. Muffled words that you could not understand, but they convinced you to push the door open and step inside. You scanned the room and found him sitting on the edge of his bed, facing the window, his back to you. Slowly, he turned around, the moonlight was illuminating his features, he looked dreamy. “I was hoping you would come,” he said, his voice soft and low. You gave him no answer, so he kept going. “Y/N, I think it is time we are honest with each other.”
He got up and approached you. “I cannot tell you that I will cancel my engagement or my upcoming wedding. I cannot tell you that I will propose to you and give you the life that you deserve.” he leaned closer, leaning his forehead on yours. “Because I won’t,” he whispered and managed to break both of your hearts in one single sentence. “Why would you think that I want that?” you managed to sound as fierce as you could, but the crack in your voice gave you away. “What is it then?” he asked, his hand brushing against yours.
Cradling his face in your hands, you murmured against his lips: “I don’t love you.” You watched his eyes get watery, and gulped before continuing, trying to keep your voice steady. “We can keep whatever we have right now. I do not want you to abandon your responsibilities. I am not asking you to elope with me.” “We could if you only asked,” he said, and you gave him a wistful smile.
“This cannot work, Donghyuck. We can’t leave together, we can barely bear each other’s company.” you chuckled lightly. By that time, his hands were resting on your waist. “Why did you come then?” there was a sound of hope in his voice. You, on the other hand, did not have the luxury of hoping for anything. “I told you, we can keep whatever we have…” you trailed off before locking your lips together. The kiss felt like a weight had been taken off your shoulders. You felt relieved. What happened the other night was real, you did have that chemistry that made your heart pound in your temples. He deepened the kiss, as you were both eager to feel each other, hands were roaming your bodies.
When you pulled away, there was a moment of silence between the two of you, except for your ragging breaths. “I want you. Ever since that night, I haven’t been able to think about anything else.” he sounded demanding, which was your favourite version of him. You took a step forward, forcing him to step back. “You can have me.” You forced him backwards until he stumbled onto the bed. As he sat down, he looked up at you, alert to each of your movements, hanging on your every word. “Or I can have you…” you breathed while sliding your hand over the nape of his neck.
There were so many things you had to say to each other, yet, you decided not to say a word. With your eyes glued to his, you slowly untied the lace of your bodice, you got rid of your nightgown, letting it slide to the ground. Donghyuck squeezed the back of your thigh, approaching his lips of your stomach. His warm breath on your skin had you shivering. You grabbed onto his hair, as he trailed kisses down your belly.
“Lay down,” you told him, moving his head away from you. “You are giving me orders now.” he chuckled, stroking your thigh. ”It seems so.” Smiling, you pushed him down and straddled his lap. You were getting comfortable and he was getting lost in your eyes, a sly smile painted over his face. “I hate it that you have this power over me,” he said. “Is that so, Your Highness?” “Oh, now you respect titles,” Donghyuck smirked, thrusting his hips up. Exasperated, you shushed him and pushed him to sink even deeper into the mattress.
You helped him out of his undergarments, revealing his tan and glowing skin. Peppering kisses on his neck, you rocked your hips against him, and he let out small whimpers. Donghyuck throws his head back, while you bury your face in his neck, inhaling his musky scent. “Hurry”, he rasped, already panting. Sitting up, you positioned your dripping core over his hardened length, impatient to calm down the fire in your abdomen.
You lowered your hips onto his lap and hiss as his length stretches your folds out. You do your best to relax around him, but Donghyuck is too eager to wait. He grabbed your hips and rolled them against his. Your breath hitched and your nails scratched his glistening torso in reaction. This time, you found it easier to lower your guard and let him lead just a little. He guided you to bounce on his shaft, setting up a fervent and steady pace.
He petted your hair tenderly, his eyes searching for yours, again. He already seemed tousled. Travelling your body down to your core, his hand reached for your bud, which he began to circle with his thumb. You whined at the new sensation, grinding on his hand. Donghyuck keened as your walls clenched around him and continued to roll his hips languidly.
Fairly quickly, overstimulation came over you, you could feel a pulsating sensation in your core and had to hold back a wail. You sucked in a sharp breath, swatting his hand to push it away from your swollen clit. This competition between you two was still ongoing, and you could not let yourself be defeated. He had to lose his composure first.
You watched his eyebrows come together, and his features become rigid. You could tell he was close to losing it. “What is it, Your Highness?” you teased, grabbing locks of his hair. “Are you close?” Visibly unable to form words, his mouth fell open, silent cries escaping it. Relishing in his dizziness, you took great pleasure in watching him convulse. You picked up your pace, slamming your hips against his faster.
Donghyuck quivered, sweat rolling down his temples and the sound of his breathy moans, mixing with the one of skin slapping, already filling the room. Pushed over the edge, he spasmed in ecstasy, crying out with his eyes closed. He jolted his hips a few more times, while you lazily undulated yours, eager to ease the ache between your thighs.
Donghyuck looked like a mess, his cheeks were tinted with a pink flush, and his eyes glazed over. “You look all dishevelled, Your Majesty.” you cooed, replacing a strand of hair behind his ear. It wasn’t so bad to be soft and gentle together. However, it seemed only possible when Donghyuck was blissed out, you knew he would never act affectionately outside of the shadows of his room.
Before you knew it, your eyes rolled back, as your back arched, and you felt your hips stuttering as well as your walls fluttering around his cock, when you came with a loud groan. You scratched him hard enough to leave marks in the process. His girth continued to massage your walls comfortably, while heat spread under your skin. You were panting, and biting on your lips hard enough to draw blood, just to prevent yourself from calling his name over and over again.
When the euphoria subsided, you collapsed on top of him. There, you snuggled close to him, one leg over his body. You let the air fill your lungs and cool your sweaty skin, savouring the feeling of relief.
While you laid on top of him, Donghyuck’s hand reached for your back, drawing small patterns on your skin. His feather-light touch surprised you, but you melted into his embrace nonetheless. You laid there in silence for a moment, on top of his heaving chest, before you felt the air thickening. He was about to say something, to ruin this, you sensed it. Propping yourself up on your arms, you faced him, expectant. Donghyuck took a deep breath, before sighing: “I love you.” your eyes widened at his declaration. “Would that change anything?” he asked, staring into your eyes, visibly looking for reciprocity. Gently taking his face in your hands, you leaned down and kissed him with passion. It may not be the answer he was hoping for, but you were unable to give it to him, to say it out loud. It was a more gentle way of saying no.
This would have to continue that way, there was no other. You will live up to both your fates, finding refuge in each other, in stolen instants of intimacy: temporary escapes to your existences. There was no place for love in that situation.
warnings: angst, impossible love :), lot of dialogues, fighting, conflicting feelings, jealousy :(, smut mdni, prob bad English sorry
word count: 4.8k
summary: after that night you spent with the prince, you don’t seem to hold on to the same feelings you always had for him, but none of your internal conflicts matter, since the wedding is approaching, and you will have no part to play in this unfolding drama.
A/N: maybe like 4 people requested a part 2 and I'm a people pleaser. + thank you to the people who have supported this and given me ideas for part 2💗
After what happened, you retreated to your room in silence. Donghyuck asked you to stay but you thought it would be in your best interests not to, and just like that, you left.
In the quiet of your room, laying down on your own bed, you stared up at the ceiling, lost in your thoughts. You could not help but feel conflicted. You had always thought of Donghyuck as selfish and capricious, but something about him changed that night. You saw him in a new light. You tried to push him out of your mind, as you knew all of this was just a big mistake, but he kept creeping back in. Nothing good would come out of you thinking too much about him, you knew that perfectly well.
You kept replaying your encounter in your mind over and over nonetheless, the way that he had touched and looked at you. You drifted off to sleep conflicted and confused that night.
꧁ ♡ ꧂
The next few days passed in a blur. You tried to avoid the prince as much as possible, but you were still working for him after all.
Donghyuck, on the other hand, did not seem the slightest bit bothered about what had happened. He was acting the same as he always did. Complaining about the slightest inconvenience, whining about everything, he was insufferable. On top of that, he would never look in your direction. He talked to you, yes, he was asking a lot from you, “Y/N, bring me this, do that…”. But you never had the chance to have a real conversation ever since. He was acting as if nothing had ever happened, which only added to your confusion and frustration.
You would talk to him if only you had the chance to. Every time you saw him, he was always surrounded by two or three other servants, and with the wedding approaching, he was often busy with preparations, and so were you. Yes, the wedding, you frequently thought about it. The reason why you were now in the state you were in. You had accepted this foolish idea, first out of generosity for the lady who was going to marry the prince, but now… it was hard for you to feel the same way about her. But you had to come to your senses; the princess was coming here next week, in order to meet Donghyuck and for the engagement party, and deep down, you hoped that he would be insufferable enough to have her flee.
꧁ ♡ ꧂
The kingdom was buzzing with excitement when the Princess arrived. Princess Victoria was an amazing young lady, she was gorgeous, gracious and her mind was sharp. The difference between her character and the prince was blatant: she seemed even more well-mannered next to him. Oh, of course, Donghyuck was acting very differently around her, but you knew his true nature.
The entire kingdom was delighted to have Lady Victoria as their future queen, and even you did like her. She was a kind-hearted woman, your heart would be made of stone if it did not melt at her contact, and unfortunately, it was not. If it was, you wouldn’t feel the twinge of jealousy you felt every time you caught the future couple together. They have been spending a lot of time together since her arrival. She was here for him after all. Donghyuck showed her around the city, and they both got to get to know each other better. All of which you had to watch from afar.
You could not help the way you felt. You tried your best to keep your feelings under control, but it was getting more and more difficult. Every night, the scene replayed in your head, every night the cold of your bed became more unbearable, every night you saw him in your dreams. You wished you never did what you did. You wished you would have just continued to despise him, and you would not care about him spending the rest of his life with somebody else.
He told you he did not want to marry. He did. You did not answer him that night. You picked up your clothing and told him it would be better if you left. But he told you he did not want it, so why was he all over her now? Probably that he was not expecting someone like her, you thought. A woman like Lady Victoria would certainly be hard to resist for a man in need of a wife. You knew you could never be that wife anyway, you had to stop torturing yourself about what he could have said that night, because none of it could ever happen.
꧁ ♡ ꧂
Friday was the day the engagement party would take place. You and the other servants were all over the place, there were so many things to get done before the evening, and all of this shattered your heart into pieces. But who could you blame but yourself? You should have known this would end this way.
Around midday, you found yourself in the prince’s room. It was your turn to tidy it. If this was up to you, you would have never gone back to this place, but of course, it was not. You still had duties to fulfil, and that you felt some strange way about the prince would certainly not be enough of an excuse to skip chores. You thought about how anyone would burst into laughter if you ever told the story. It was ridiculous, really. You had made it everybody’s business that you hated Donghyuck for the last six years, and now you would claim that you slept with him and were starting to get feelings for him?
You laughed nervously as you approached the vanity -avoiding the bed for as long as you could. You put things in their places and cleaned up the dust before footsteps caught your attention. They stopped and you carefully left your eyes to the mirror before you. There, you saw the reflection of the prince, standing on the other side of the room, in front of the door that connected it to the bathroom. You looked at each other for a moment, through the mirror, before you turned around slowly to face him. You had not been alone since that night, and seeing his hazel eyes look into yours had you feel a twinge.
Tentatively, you opened your mouth to speak, but the words failed you. Nothing but air was coming out of it. “Y/N, I’m glad you’re here,” he said after awkwardly clearing his throat. Your eyes were full of expectations as he continued, “I need you to help me choose what I will wear tonight.” You had to hold yourself back from jumping him at this exact moment, but you could not refrain your mouth from hanging open.
Seeing your reaction, Donghyuck sighed, “You know we can’t have this conversation.” with that, he pinched the base of his nose, which only added to your anger. “I thought you had moved on already.”
“How could I?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. You wanted him to give up on his pride more than anything, but still, it was hard to do the same with your own. “Stop acting like this is my fault! You were the one who left, I asked you to stay but you refused!” he spat, aggressively.
You took a step forward, and raised your voice too, “Then why do you act as if nothing happened?!” Suddenly, he grabbed your wrist, “That night, I showed you a part of me I do not want anyone to see, least of all you. Do you understand? We should have never done that!” His voice was assertive and his words harsh. With your wrist still, in a tight hold, he was standing a few inches from you, and the mixture of both his proximity, which you had longed for days and his spite, made you want to cry.
“That night… you asked me to tell you that I loved you. Why did you ask? Do you love me, Donghyuck?” you asked, on the verge of tears, your voice as cold as possible. At this point, you couldn't care less about calling him by his first name.
He lowered his head and let go of your wrist. “I am soon to be married, Y/N,” he said, taking a step backwards. You looked up at his expressionless look and heard your voice crack a little, “So you will?” Donghyuck shook his head, “You’re telling me that as if I had a choice.” Just like that, the tears in the corner of your eyes dried somehow, and you let out a dry chuckle. “I mean, you are a prince, you have more power of will than I could ever dream of.” He sighed, again. “This is not how it works, Y/N. I will have to rule someday, I need to marry, and have an heir of royal blood. Everything is already planned, this is an arrangement between my father and the king of the adjacent kingdom to ensure peace between both countries. This is settled: I will marry his daughter.”
“Why are you explaining this to me as if I was some kind of child?” you asked in disbelief. “I am not! Wh- Don’t make this any more difficult!” he cried out, exasperated. “Oh no, this is not difficult at all. You are of royal blood and I am nothing but a servant. This is why you are explaining to me the political situation of the country I live in. This is why you never had any intention of marrying me!” you didn’t mean to say that last sentence. It came out on its own. “What are you talking about?!” He seemed so angry that the whole palace could hear his shouting and he would not care. “You never even liked me in the first place! If you had ever shown me some sympathy before, maybe I wouldn’t have agreed to marry a woman I know nothing about!”
There was a moment of silence, the reflection of the blow of his words. “This is laughable really.” Your voice was shaky, “You think everything is owed to you, don’t you? You have never been anything but insufferable with me for years, and I am the one who has to show sympathy?! I thought you would finally see me as your equal after what happened, but I was wrong. I am still your servant, and I will always be under you. I will always be the one to bow to your demands.” And with that, you left the room.
Your heart was hammering in your chest while you walked the halls to your room. What an idiot you had been.
꧁ ♡ ꧂
The grand ballroom was decorated with sparkling crystal chandeliers that illuminated the room with a warm, golden glow, as well as furnished flower arrangements and elegant centrepieces. It was impossible for you to get any satisfaction from your hard work though, you were still mad at the prince and conflicted about this whole situation. You had to come clean with yourself. Earlier, you said a lot of things without thinking, which had you questioning even more your own feelings. Indeed, something had changed this night. Something about him, about the way you saw him, how you interacted with each other. This was different from any intercourse you had before. The resentment between each other had aroused a burning passion within you, and it was impossible for you to calm the fire, now that the flames were burning you from within.
The guests, all dressed in their finest attire, began to arrive, mingle and dance to the soft music that played in the background. The prince and princess were the center of attention,of course, making their rounds and greeting the guests, arm in arm. You watched from the sideline as Donghyuck interacted with his fiancée, smiling and giggling at everything she said. You couldn’t believe how he was acting with her. Was he going to reveal his real character once she is pregnant with their first child or will he be strong enough to hide it for the rest of his life? That was it, even though you felt new empathy for the version of him you had seen that night, it was not love. It could not be. You wanted to scream, tell her that he was not what he was pretending to be, that he was a despicable character, not worthy of her affection. Your heart was torn between hate and longing. The desire to ruin his life was oh so strong. You wanted to ruin everything he had, this bright future that was destined for him, that golden frame of him and his future family, you wished to tear it into pieces.
Donghyuck was looking at the princess with both admiration and affection, a stark contrast to how he had always treated you. Their eyes were locked on each other as they twirled and danced around the room. Your heart felt heavy in your chest, you would never have that, neither with him nor with anybody else. You realized that what you felt was simply jealousy, and that struck you like a blow from a sledgehammer. You lost yourself, staring at him as he led her around the room.
Still in the middle of a waltz, he stole a glance in your direction, which you averted as soon as you caught it.
Bending down, he took her hand and brought it to his lips before kissing it softly. You tried to hide it, to keep a stoic expression on your face, but your hands were clenched into fists and your jaw tightened, as your heart twisted with envy. No one could know about your inner turmoil, and since all eyes were on the royal couple, you figured no one would notice if you disappeared.
꧁ ♡ ꧂
Music echoed down the palace halls as you hurried through them, your heart pounding in your chest.
“Y/N, wait.” Donghyuck’s voice echoed between the halls. Not looking back, you continued to walk, which did not stop him, since he kept following you. “What do you have to say to me? I think you cleared everything up before the party.” you spat, speeding up. “Y/N listen to me!” with large footsteps, he caught up with you and grabbed your wrist, it was starting to become a habit, you thought. “Let go of me!” shoving your arm out of his hold, you turned to face him, your eyebrows furrowed. “Then, stop running.” You sighed and crossed your arms on your chest, ready to hear whatever he had to say.
“Why would you care anyway? About all of this, about the wedding.” He did not sound mad, more like confused. So were you. You hadn’t quite come to an agreement with your own feelings, so how were you supposed to put them into words, in front of him of all people? The frown on his face became more evident, and you could tell he was waiting for a serious answer, so you had to come up with something. “I just can’t stand to see you acting all lovey-dovey with her when you spent the night with someone else, not even a week ago.” Donghyuck huffed at your words, “You’re saying this as if I was cheating on her!” “Yes, you did!” You retorted. “I had not even met her when we did that, I know nothing of her ok. This is a marriage of convenience god, how many times do I have to tell you?” Anxiously, he passed his hand through his hair, pacing in front of you.
“Oh, so you are never going to be intimate with her, since it is of convenience.” Really, you didn’t mean to say that out loud. You hated how it made you sound, like you were jealous, like you only wanted him to be intimate with you. Nothing could've stopped your cheeks from flushing, and Donghyuck froze. You two exchanged a glance and he took advantage of the moment of peace to close the distance between you. “I cannot promise you that I will not.” he sighed. “I have obligations to fulfil…” gently, his hand reached for your cheek, “But if I do, I would only think of you.”
It was tempting, really, to submit to his almost sweet words. A part of you wished to lean into his hand and happily settle for what he was offering, but you had your pride, and he should know that better than anyone else. Moving his hand away, you looked into his eyes, and your silence spoke all the words you could have said. Donghyuck sighed, softly shaking his head.
“You know what, Y/N? I think you take me for a fool.” he laughed nervously, rising inside of you an anxious feeling. “You have been the one to always reject me, and look, you want me to make a move on you, but every time I do, you still reject me. Every step I take towards you, you shove me three steps back. I don’t know what you want from me. I wanted to think that if you accepted to spend the night with me it was because you felt the same way I did… But now, I cannot follow you.” You hated that. You hated the tight feeling in your throat. You hated when he was talking like that.
No words would come out of your mouth, and you felt tears starting to form in the corner of your eyes. It was pathetic, but you had nothing better to do than turn on your heels and flee, leaving Donghyuck behind you, his head low, and his heart, just as heavy as yours.
꧁ ♡ ꧂
You could not sleep that night. Your eyes were glued to the ceiling, your throat tight and your stomach knotted. What was next? Donghyuck gets married and you spend the rest of your life taking care of him, his wife and then, his children?
For one second, you considered the possibility of running away, to leave the palace and the temptation of Donghyuck behind. But that was childish. You did not do this job out of mere enjoyment, you did it because you needed it. You had nowhere else to go. Plus, it would be pathetic of you to escape your entire life all because of a prince you couldn’t stop thinking of, one that you despised more than anything just a few days ago. You had always prided yourself on being practical and level-headed, so what were you doing right now?
That night, you felt like you were something more. You felt alive, thrilled, and excited like you had never been before. And despite the whole situation, you longed to feel this way again. You sat up, and let out a long sigh. Maybe you needed this temporary escape from your miserable existence. You could figure out the outcome later.
Barefeet, you made your way down the palace’s silent halls, your heart pounding with both anticipation and adrenaline. The palace was asleep, the only thing you could hear was the song of the cicadas from the courtyard. The skin of your feet against the marble echoed down the hallways, your steps slowing down the closer you got from the princely suite.
Eventually, you reached the large door and hesitated for a moment, your hand hovering over the handle. Then you heard his voice through the door. Muffled words that you could not understand, but they convinced you to push the door open and step inside. You scanned the room and found him sitting on the edge of his bed, facing the window, his back to you. Slowly, he turned around, the moonlight was illuminating his features, he looked dreamy. “I was hoping you would come,” he said, his voice soft and low. You gave him no answer, so he kept going. “Y/N, I think it is time we are honest with each other.”
He got up and approached you. “I cannot tell you that I will cancel my engagement or my upcoming wedding. I cannot tell you that I will propose to you and give you the life that you deserve.” he leaned closer, leaning his forehead on yours. “Because I won’t,” he whispered and managed to break both of your hearts in one single sentence. “Why would you think that I want that?” you managed to sound as fierce as you could, but the crack in your voice gave you away. “What is it then?” he asked, his hand brushing against yours.
Cradling his face in your hands, you murmured against his lips: “I don’t love you.” You watched his eyes get watery, and gulped before continuing, trying to keep your voice steady. “We can keep whatever we have right now. I do not want you to abandon your responsibilities. I am not asking you to elope with me.” “We could if you only asked,” he said, and you gave him a wistful smile.
“This cannot work, Donghyuck. We can’t leave together, we can barely bear each other’s company.” you chuckled lightly. By that time, his hands were resting on your waist. “Why did you come then?” there was a sound of hope in his voice. You, on the other hand, did not have the luxury of hoping for anything. “I told you, we can keep whatever we have…” you trailed off before locking your lips together. The kiss felt like a weight had been taken off your shoulders. You felt relieved. What happened the other night was real, you did have that chemistry that made your heart pound in your temples. He deepened the kiss, as you were both eager to feel each other, hands were roaming your bodies.
When you pulled away, there was a moment of silence between the two of you, except for your ragging breaths. “I want you. Ever since that night, I haven’t been able to think about anything else.” he sounded demanding, which was your favourite version of him. You took a step forward, forcing him to step back. “You can have me.” You forced him backwards until he stumbled onto the bed. As he sat down, he looked up at you, alert to each of your movements, hanging on your every word. “Or I can have you…” you breathed while sliding your hand over the nape of his neck.
There were so many things you had to say to each other, yet, you decided not to say a word. With your eyes glued to his, you slowly untied the lace of your bodice, you got rid of your nightgown, letting it slide to the ground. Donghyuck squeezed the back of your thigh, approaching his lips of your stomach. His warm breath on your skin had you shivering. You grabbed onto his hair, as he trailed kisses down your belly.
“Lay down,” you told him, moving his head away from you. “You are giving me orders now.” he chuckled, stroking your thigh. ”It seems so.” Smiling, you pushed him down and straddled his lap. You were getting comfortable and he was getting lost in your eyes, a sly smile painted over his face. “I hate it that you have this power over me,” he said. “Is that so, Your Highness?” “Oh, now you respect titles,” Donghyuck smirked, thrusting his hips up. Exasperated, you shushed him and pushed him to sink even deeper into the mattress.
You helped him out of his undergarments, revealing his tan and glowing skin. Peppering kisses on his neck, you rocked your hips against him, and he let out small whimpers. Donghyuck throws his head back, while you bury your face in his neck, inhaling his musky scent. “Hurry”, he rasped, already panting. Sitting up, you positioned your dripping core over his hardened length, impatient to calm down the fire in your abdomen.
You lowered your hips onto his lap and hiss as his length stretches your folds out. You do your best to relax around him, but Donghyuck is too eager to wait. He grabbed your hips and rolled them against his. Your breath hitched and your nails scratched his glistening torso in reaction. This time, you found it easier to lower your guard and let him lead just a little. He guided you to bounce on his shaft, setting up a fervent and steady pace.
He petted your hair tenderly, his eyes searching for yours, again. He already seemed tousled. Travelling your body down to your core, his hand reached for your bud, which he began to circle with his thumb. You whined at the new sensation, grinding on his hand. Donghyuck keened as your walls clenched around him and continued to roll his hips languidly.
Fairly quickly, overstimulation came over you, you could feel a pulsating sensation in your core and had to hold back a wail. You sucked in a sharp breath, swatting his hand to push it away from your swollen clit. This competition between you two was still ongoing, and you could not let yourself be defeated. He had to lose his composure first.
You watched his eyebrows come together, and his features become rigid. You could tell he was close to losing it. “What is it, Your Highness?” you teased, grabbing locks of his hair. “Are you close?” Visibly unable to form words, his mouth fell open, silent cries escaping it. Relishing in his dizziness, you took great pleasure in watching him convulse. You picked up your pace, slamming your hips against his faster.
Donghyuck quivered, sweat rolling down his temples and the sound of his breathy moans, mixing with the one of skin slapping, already filling the room. Pushed over the edge, he spasmed in ecstasy, crying out with his eyes closed. He jolted his hips a few more times, while you lazily undulated yours, eager to ease the ache between your thighs.
Donghyuck looked like a mess, his cheeks were tinted with a pink flush, and his eyes glazed over. “You look all dishevelled, Your Majesty.” you cooed, replacing a strand of hair behind his ear. It wasn’t so bad to be soft and gentle together. However, it seemed only possible when Donghyuck was blissed out, you knew he would never act affectionately outside of the shadows of his room.
Before you knew it, your eyes rolled back, as your back arched, and you felt your hips stuttering as well as your walls fluttering around his cock, when you came with a loud groan. You scratched him hard enough to leave marks in the process. His girth continued to massage your walls comfortably, while heat spread under your skin. You were panting, and biting on your lips hard enough to draw blood, just to prevent yourself from calling his name over and over again.
When the euphoria subsided, you collapsed on top of him. There, you snuggled close to him, one leg over his body. You let the air fill your lungs and cool your sweaty skin, savouring the feeling of relief.
While you laid on top of him, Donghyuck’s hand reached for your back, drawing small patterns on your skin. His feather-light touch surprised you, but you melted into his embrace nonetheless. You laid there in silence for a moment, on top of his heaving chest, before you felt the air thickening. He was about to say something, to ruin this, you sensed it. Propping yourself up on your arms, you faced him, expectant. Donghyuck took a deep breath, before sighing: “I love you.” your eyes widened at his declaration. “Would that change anything?” he asked, staring into your eyes, visibly looking for reciprocity. Gently taking his face in your hands, you leaned down and kissed him with passion. It may not be the answer he was hoping for, but you were unable to give it to him, to say it out loud. It was a more gentle way of saying no.
This would have to continue that way, there was no other. You will live up to both your fates, finding refuge in each other, in stolen instants of intimacy: temporary escapes to your existences. There was no place for love in that situation.
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