MOXB

This is Going to Be Dedicated to my [Mixtape] Lyric Music New Or Prog. Blog.

[moxb]

Ha, I thought I was the only one,/ who dropped some heavy shit,/ like lines, or, words as phrases,/ that ripple vibes into waves and,/ then just "disappeared."/ now I know I'm not the only one,/ no, not the only, won that,/ that get's on a roll with the vibes,/ Vibes the cave and rides the wave./

[thehopefulquotes]

“You were given this life because you’re strong enough to live it.”

— Unknown

[whitepeopletwitter]

Wow I’m 29 and i feel like 80

[moxb]

[moxb]

Sky Circling Among Branches

'I'm coming, I'm coming, wait up, stones!'

—Neruda

Good Pablo told us the stones fell from the sky,

and science backs him up—all our beginnings

blasting out, clustering, here or there

among the dark....

Whatever spun,

fell inward, and finally became us, amounts to

four or five like myself walking around

this morning with our ticket stubs

of intuition.

October, a vacancy in the trees,

a couple rags of cloud caught up there, dingy

blossoms floating branch to branch...

not the perfection of the waves or the borderless

domination of birds, not the Southern Cross,

that shimmering sign of hope—saves anyone

in their sleep....

A night wind gallops

over the swells toward the islands at the end

of sea.... Hands in my coat pockets,

all I turn up are keepsakes of dust,

the dulled archipelago of air stretching

beyond the tides

I go on, shuffling

down the path, whistling what was

once thought a lively tune, grateful

to be a satchel of ligaments and bone

still able to transfer enough chemicals,

one synapse to another, to understand

something is missing when I look up

and praise a streak of gray engraving

the hosannas of light, spindrift

off the rocks, anything sent into the air,

post-dated to a god who,

in his infinite memory, must know

he's abandoned us here... so many

self-conscious bits of sand

in a starry whirlwind of desire.

—Christopher Buckley

Harvard Review Vol. 48

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[thehopefulquotes]

“I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars.”

— Og Mandino

[thehopefulquotes]

“The truth is often a terrible weapon of aggression. It is possible to lie, and even to murder, with the truth.”

— Alfred Adler

[moxb]

I have these voices in my brain

I created them and I hate them

But I ask them to stay

'Cause I have this fixation on death

This fixation on change

This fixation on three years I grew out of pain

This fixation on sleep

This fixation on you and on me, but who could I be?

I spent three years writing poems about a fixation on the past

And she told me it was worth it

Because she told me you were last

But darling, I'll hold my tongue as I hold you tight

'Cause forgetting what you think love means is my sleeping pill every night

I remember when he woke up and screamed

Maybe our love is just laced with LSD 'cause darling, I'm high on life and you're just high on me

And as I tried my best to read between the lines or lip shaped words I've tried to interpret as lies

Only to see the devil hiding deep inside the details

As Lucifer found his way back into retail

And my dear he sold us a product we didn't wanna buy

But we weren't trying to be original

We were just trying to survive

The voices in my brain tell me it's all in my head

And I'll sleep with one eye open

But I won't sleep 'til I'm dead

'Cause a fair assessment of existence is an inconsistent realist vision of selfish antics reduced to survival of the fittest

Defined by our ability to avoid those carrying any sickness

And these whispers in my head intensify to raspy screams

Asking when my skull will explode so they can breathe

They know that no one has a voice when no one is listening

And the violent ride of staying silent or quiet is torturous to those who need to hear something

And that violence has its own sort of beauty

And you are my beauty

And you're my violent smile

And you are my violent prayer

And you're not my oxygen

But I breathe your air

'Cause these voices in my brain remind me of past mistakes

The beauty I found of being able to say, "Look what I went through - I survived"

But is survival living, or is survival just a place holder for a vacant mind to cut off the threat to coincide with the soil while their blood boils?

'Cause my biggest fear was never facing death or even facing what happens after

My biggest fear was never facing anything like that

My biggest fear was waking up in that coffin with these voices chanting

A of remorse, a force to bore from the course I had chosen

And now I'm laying here frozen

With fear

Staring up at a splintering slab of wood paid for with my life savings

Buried beneath the Earth that grew the weeds that poison my family's feet

What if I woke up, walked back home, and it was like nothing had happened

We left your room the way you left it

We just scrubbed the blood stains out of the carpet

We just rubbed the mud remains out of your pockets

We just dubbed the tough claims of your sonnets

We just evacuated your room and hoped you would too

But your spirit haunted it too long

So we boarded it up, moved along, and watched it become a guest room

A place for the non-permanent inhabitants to exist within this home we created to raise our kid

That was my biggest fear

Finding out something like that would happen

'Cause the memories that have come with this only caused everything else to hurt deep inside of this dismissed feeling I feel

But sometimes you have to face the past

And maybe I've never faced death

But if I were to walk away, then what would I be?

These voices in my head, what would they say and what would they see?

Did I survive or am I cursed?

Did I die or die I learn?

What if I woke up like nothing happened?

What if I never wake up?

My dear, then what's my purpose?

What if I woke up like nothing happened?

And darling, darling, what if you woke up too?

[moxb]

https://twitter.com/guardian/status/1500975297939841027?s=21

[perfectquote]

“It has made me better, loving you.”

— Henry James // The Portrait of a Lady

[perfectquote]

“Let go of the idea of winning or losing. In the game of life, the most important thing is just showing up and doing your best.”

— Unknown