You should really talk to your mother. If you're certain she'll love you no matter what, you should really talk to her
We talked. Thats how i foud out my sister outed me. I'm fine with her not fully accepting the part of me and i dont expect her to call me anything different nor do I really want or need her to. I dont want or need her to force anything, that just feels even more wrong.
I am mostly upset with my sister for telling our mother. I told my sister in private because I trusted her. I think I even told her not to tell anyone else. So I feel betrayed by her a bit. My sister assumed that I would be upset or hurt by our mom not calling me a boy but she never talked to me about it, she just went straight to yelling and arguing with our mom. I know she told out of care and nkt malice so I cannot hate her but I am still feeling betrayed.
I would only get hurt by misgendering if someone has only known me as a boy, but then they find out I'm trans and decide to call me a girl on purpose, which in my moms case, she has never known me as a boy and I don't expect her to call me one. I know some people need to be gendered correctly especially by family but I do not and I think that should be fine.
My mom kind of understands me wanting to be a boy and she would never say I am wrong for feeling how I feel. She isn't going to try to scold or berate me into feeling the 'right' way and she isn't going to just come up to me and say 'You're a girl and will always be a girl and you're wrong for feeling like a boy'.
She just doesn't agree with it because God made me a girl and she believes I should remain what God made me. Since God is a concept that you need faith for, logic does not work fully for an argument when it comes to faith in something that cannot be proven or explained by logic so technically both of our arguments are correct based on what we believe. She isn't going to argue with me about it and I am not going to argue with her about it because we both know we probably won't change eachothers minds and it's just wasted energy and negativity that isn't needed.
She will never say anything publicly about her beliefs in the Christian God unless it is positive (or goes against the main sins like murder, theft, abuse, etc) so she is not hurting anybody by believing what she does.
Talking about gender is not something that usually comes up in conversation and I am probably keeping my birth name because its not very gendered so she isnt going to deadname me so I will probably not even be misgendered by her to my face often because you don't regularly refer to someone by him or her when they are in the room with you
Being transgender is not a huge part of who I am, I am simply a guy who was born a girl, I have other things to worry about, like life, school, work, and I have far more interesting things to talk about with my mom, like information dumping everything I know about cats (the whole feline species not just the domestic cat) on her and she has to listen because she is my mom and being a boy or a girl does not matter in those moments.
Thank you for the concern but I am mostly fine. My mom will call me a boy if I need her to but forcing her feels wrong for me. Nothing will change about how she treats me which is preferable because she is the best mom I could ever ask for even if we have disagreements and differences. I will probably talk with her more about this to clarify things and makes sure there are no misunderstandings, but if we don't I will still be fine :)
