ALL THAT MATTERS

(Full-time student/ Campus Journalist) Taking up AB Communication, currently the Managing Editor of University of Perpetual Help System DALTA's official student publication. Tweets by @ZaiBerns15 !function(d,s,id){var js,fjs=d.getElementsByTagName(s)[0],p=/^http:/.test(d.location)?'http':'https';if(!d.getElementById(id)){js=d.createElement(s);js.id=id;js.src=p+"://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js";fjs.parentNode.insertBefore(js,fjs);}}(document,"script","twitter-wjs");

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After 40486281 years, I'm finally back!

So here's my first video blog, which I dedicate to all the Hunger Games fans out there. This is a book review about the second installment of the series, "Catching Fire." 

Enjoy!

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Photojournalism isn’t about capturing sad scenarios, but about capturing real life moments, including the happy ones.

“Happiness”--this is the theme that we chose for our Photo Exhibit entitled “Once Upon A Time” held last September 4. It may sound common or ordinary, but for us on our Photo Journalism Class who are used to submitting photos that are quite dramatic, it’s an unusual theme.

We chose “happiness” because it’s something that everybody can relate into. Everybody experiences happiness, from huge things like being loved and appreciated up to the smallest things like being given a candy or an ice cream. 

But if you’re thinking that it’s a piece of cake to capture happy moments, then you’re absolutely wrong. There are lots of smiling people around us, but we cannot just simply take a picture of them and assume that they’re happy people. People smile most of the times, but that doesn’t mean they are happy.

What we wanted to capture, what we wanted to show our visitors, are pictures of real happiness. We want them to feel, and not just see, the happiness from all those pictures. And that is quite hard, you know.

Our Photo exhibit wasn’t the only project that we’re working on during those times. But despite of the busy week, the preparations for this exhibit didn’t seem to add up to the stress. Instead, it served as our stress-reliever. From the frame-making, photo shoot for the AVP up to the designing of the place few hours before the ribbon-cutting, everything became so memorable as we filled every moment with laughter. Truly, if you put your heart into something, you wouldn't feel like you’re working.

Through our designs, pictures and other “pakulo”, we made sure that the visitors would really feel and deeply understand the real meaning of happiness. Colorful balloons were scattered on the floor, and the frames of the pictures were painted with colors pink, green and yellow. There were several posts or signage reminding them to keep on smiling, and a glass jar full of quotes about happiness. We made sure that they would enjoy the video presentation that we prepared and food was great. I mean, they may not be expensive but they tried to bring the visitors back to their childhood years as we prepared marshmallows, chocolates, lollipops and more. We believe that there’s nothing that can make us happier than being a child again.

Our guest speaker, Kuya Kenneth, is the Chief Photographer of The Perpetualite. He’s the first person that actually popped into my mind when they informed me that we have to invite a guest speaker. He’s one of the few persons that I really look up to in the field of Photo Journalism. And it was a nice feeling that he went there and gave us some of his time to share his knowledge about taking pictures.

Over all, the photo exhibit was great and satisfying for us. I can’t say that it’s perfect, but I can say that it’s an unforgettable experience working with the people that weren’t really that close to me. We usually belong to different groups every time there is a project, and this is the first time that we merged. Through this, I’ve come to know them more. We even call ourselves even up to this moment as “Tem Happiness.”

As we receive positive feedbacks from people, we felt very proud, of course. But what made me even more proud is how we produced such a successful event without actually stressing ourselves out or pushing ourselves to the limit. Because in the end, it’s not about reaching the destination that matters, it’s about how you enjoyed the journey.

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Cinemalaya 2013: An Eye Opener

                                    Too much innocence is considered ignorance.

                        While many people hold on to their beliefs that innocence is a good thing, I believe that it’s not, especially when it already goes beyond the limit. Innocence is only for young children, and for those who chooses to be innocent for some justifiable reasons. But if one just prefers to be innocent just because they do not want to exert efforts discovering things, it’s a big act of ignorance. We must all seek for what is the truth and must not be blinded by the things that we thought are the symbols of truth.

                        As a writer, I believe that one must be open for any knowledge about everything that matters, no matter how sensitive some issues may be. That is why on this year’s Cinemalaya Film Festival, I tried to step out of my comfort zone to get a better view of reality as I readied myself to let go of ignorance. 

PORNO: Peeking through tiny holes

                “An assassin, a porn dubber and a transgender. Three souls. One explicit illusion. To find the ultimate joy in their empty lives.  A safe haven, where passion and love mean humanity, ecstasy means enlightenment; and the soul is the ultimate arbiter of the truth,” a catchy description that would encourage people to watch.

                        Porno is a film of Adolfo Alix Jr. that showcased the life of the people engaging into pornography, whether they are ones in the video or the ones dubbing the sounds.

                        It was the first movie I watched. At first, I find it hard to critic the movie because of certain factors. First, I’m not really a fan of independent films. Second, I know nothing about criticizing a film. And third, I felt uncomfortable watching some, or even most, of the scenes. Well, I already expected that the movie will show a lot of skin and daring scenes will be emphasized, but the movie even exceeds my expectations.

                        Yes, there were a lot of sex scenes, but it was more than just those. Direk Alix made it clear through the way they presented the film that it did not just aim to open the eyes of people about “sex.” What it really aims is to show how the lives of those being part of pornographies being ruined in different ways.

                        The film did not focus entirely on the script because emotions were already very well expressed with their perfect line-up of veteran actors, including Yul Servo, Carlos Aquino and Angel Aquino portraying big roles and Rossana Roces, Bembol Roco, and Ricky Davao on cameo roles.

                        But while I like the film for its emotional content, I was a bit disappointed on some scenes. There was this scene on the beginning wherein the girl who was raped inside the motel seemed to eat the one who raped her, with all the bloods on her face. That wasn’t a cannibalistic movie, right? I expected that the following scenes would be connected to that girl, but I saw no connection at all. I also tried looking on what else makes the three stories interconnected aside from being all part of one specific video, Yul Servo as the one in the video, Carlos Aquino as the dubber and Angel Aquino as the one who watched. The smoke, the dog and even the shadows must have been put there to symbolize something but they just made me confused.

                        Yes, I have stated more negative points than positive ones, but I still appreciated the entire film for opening my eyes on matters I refused to see before. And I think everybody who would like to be introduced to reality should watch this film, too.

  EKSTRA: Making Them Count

                        Ekstra (The Bit Player) is another  film that will surely open your eyes on the real situation of the extras and how hard it is to earn money. Under the Full-length:Director's Showcase category, “Ekstra” shows the life of an extra named Loida Malabanan (played by Vilma Santos-Recto) and the challenges she has to go through as she faces another shooting day of one of the most famous soap operas in their place.

                         The movie comes truly alive as it mixed up comedy and drama while conveying the real life situation of those who have the same work as Loida. The mixture of humor and soul makes every scene interesting, which were even matched with well-written dialogues from its script writers, Zig Dulay and Antoinette Jadaone.  It was also well acted by the big ensemble cast, from the big stars from different TV networks who do cameo roles to those who played the role as part of the production team.

                        “Ekstra” is Vilma Santos’ first indie film that is why there is no doubt that the whole production team, especially its director, Jeffrey Jeturian, gave their best for this.  But while some scenes made the viewers laugh so hard, there were also some that made their tears run down their cheeks.  She did not just act. She portrayed the role in a way that the viewers will come to feel what her character feels, from the painstaking preparations up to the moment her dreams crushed. She gave her shoes for the people to put themselves into it, as she conveys her undying love as a mother and as a friend for the other extras.

                        What I really like the most about this is that I have learned how a TV production works and what are some of the problems that they normally encounter. As a Communication student, it’s something that helped us decide whether we would like to pursue our dream of working on productions or just enter some other industries involving communication. Well, in my case, it made me become more interested in entering productions, rather than scared because of the “attitudes” of the head production showcased in the movie.

                        I also appreciated it when they even enumerated at the end credits the names of all the extras who were involved in the film, giving emphasis on them. This movie serves as a tribute to those extras that make every soap opera, film or commercial even more realistic.

                        But then, if there are positive points, the film also has some negative characteristics. One is that it is too didactic, making it different from the other independent films that we know. Independent films are usually more on expressing rather than teaching. The way the story was presented is also too mainstream. But other than that, it’s good and would surely be appreciated by people who also work hard just to give their love ones a better future.

                                                                                        For more information about the other film entries under different categories and the result of winners, visit the official website of the Cinemalaya Film Festival.

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I became a bit emotional the first time I saw these pictures of protesters, injured and struggling just to get close to Batasang Pambansa in order for President Aquino to hear their voices. It was a sad scenario that instead of making the people calm, it seems like it was the policemen who made the situation even more complicated.  It’s not that I am generalizing all of them, but it’s their responsibility to maintain peace and order and not to hurt the people just to merely do their job. Seeing those people being treated as if they are some kind of animals introduced me to the idea of “real violence” and made me realize even more the real meaning of “abuse of power.”

However, let me express my deep respect to the “crying cop” who tried to make things okay between the policemen and the protesters by making a peace sign in the midst of tension. 

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“Not being tainted with corruption is not enough to leave behind a legacy,” says an online columnist as he expressed his disappointment on the latest State of the Nation Address of our president, Benigno Aquino III. President Aquino is known for his campaign towards the “tuwid na landas” and his intense desire to drag down all corrupt officials from their seats. But people believe that it’s not enough.

I can still remember, two years ago, while I was reading the column of our previous Associate Editor on one of the issues of our school paper, there’s this one line that truly captured my attention: “We did not elect a superhero.” It was also the same line that inspired me to write an editorial article about our president during our Computer Journalism class last year. It brought me to the realization that what makes the job of a president more difficult is not the responsibility or the job itself, but the judgments and expectations of people.

Last night, as I was reading more articles about the SONA, I have read one criticizing President Aquino about his latest State of the Nation Address, pointing out some of the issues that are considered irrelevant and stating the important matters that he did not mention at all. And for the whole time that I was reading the article, I was thinking of that line, “We did not elect a superhero.”

It was in July 15, 2013 when PNoy delivered his 4th SONA at Batasang Pambansa Complex in Batasan Hills, Quezon City. Compared to his previous SONA, this year was the longest as it took almost one hour and 45 minutes, which gained at least 80 applauses from the members of the Philippine Congress and the gallery that included representatives from various sectors. But as they say, it’s not the length that matters but the content.

Just an hour after PNoy’s speech, it already gained mixed reactions from Filipinos, especially the netizens. While some praised him for being able to make a speech that creates a perfect balance of stating what has been done and what will be done, there are still some who thinks that it was too long to say too little.

After watching his SONA, it’s true that there is something missing. As a Communication student and a future media practitioner, I’ve been waiting for him to say something about the Freedom of Information (FOI) Bill, which he promised to push into passage three years ago. Media freedom advocates had been campaigning for this, but until now, nothing’s happening. And what’s worse is that PNoy seems to have forgotten what he promised us. He also remained quiet on the issue about political and media killings in the country despite his brief mention of Gerry Ortega, a journalist and environmental advocate who was killed last 2011. And while he dedicated a certain part of his speech to the GRP-MILF peace negotiations, he seemed to have shut the door for peace talks with the National Democratic Front (NDF), the Communist Party of the Philippines (CPP) and the New People’s Army (NPA) as he never mentioned anything about them. It intensified the fear in me that maybe more violence and armed confrontations will happen between the said parties and the government forces during President Aquino’s term.

But if there are some things that made me and the other Filipino citizens disappointed, there are also some issues that lit up the face of the people. He boasted the success of the Conditional Cash Transfer (CCT) program and announced that it will now include high school students starting next year. The passage of two bills, Responsible Parenthood law or RH Law and the Sin Tax Law, is also an achievement that must be applauded. He also emphasized the educational reforms that were made, including the lower price of textbooks that brought billions of savings for DepEd. Tourism industry was also reported to be great this year because of a large increase in tourist arrivals in the Philippines. That was despite Manila being called “gates of hell” by Dan Brown on his recently published book “Inferno.” Of course, I also salute this man for bravely criticizing the heads of some government agencies, saying that if an official is not doing his job properly, then it is better for him to be fired than remain in his office.

It’s true that the administration were able to do a lot of achievements these past few years, but, yes, there are still a lot more to accomplish. While our journey towards “tuwid na landas” has been productive so far, there’s still a long path to take before we can rest. The thing to do now is not to admire nor praise the achievements, but to challenge not only the government but ourselves to do better. Remember that it’s not just his SONA, but the SONA of Filipino people, who are considered as his “boss.”

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What's on the List?

                    I came in the TP office this morning to get some stuff on my desk when I noticed a post on the cupboard saying: "Take what you need." At first I asked, "Why is happiness not included?" But then I realized that it is already a given fact that we need happiness. Actually, it's the main purpose of our life--to find out what will make us happy and go for it. If one is not waking up in the morning to do things and make decisions that would make him happy, then he is not living at all, but simply existing.

                    But in a busy world we're living in, we sometimes get busy on works that we already forget what really matters to us. Sometimes, because of focusing too much on things like earning money and building career, we waste time that is supposed to be spent for things that would free us from this stressful world and help us find the meaning of life.

                    That is why before I reach middle age, I want to be able to overcome my fears, discover things, know myself more, realize my dreams and enjoy even the simple pleasures that life has to offer. I don't want to see myself someday, living in what ifs and I-should-have-done-that thoughts.

                    So here's the list of what I want to do before I reach the age of 40.

10.  

                   I know that reminiscing would be part of my everyday life when I reach prime. And I want to just sit down one day, open a thick colorful scrapbook about my life in general and look back on how well  I've lived my life as a young girl. 

9.  

                  When I was a kid, I really wanted to be a fashion designer. But when I grew up, I realized how impossible it is to put that dream into reality. But still, I want to know the feeling of designing a dress for a very special event. That's why I want to be the one to design that beautiful white dress I'll be wearing on the day I'll walk on the aisle, face the altar with the one I love and whisper the words "I do."

8.

                   I wasn't really interested on surfing before. But when a friend of mine told me about his experiences as a surfer and how perfect the waves of Camarines Sur are, that's the time that the idea of surfing became appealing to me. I think it feels great to just go with the flow and play with the waves. It's pretty cool. But I'd learn how to swim first, of course. 

7.

                    I love the feeling that grand pianos give me every time I see one or hear somebody playing one. It's just so classy and...... I can't find the right words. All I know is I want to own a grand piano and learn how to play it by heart.

6. 

                    I find it cool when people can speak fluently using other languages, aside from English and, of course, their mother tongue. I mean, everybody has the ability to learn how to speak foreign languages, but not everybody has a life that enables them to do so. And I admire them for grabbing such opportunities. Now, why French? You'll find out later.

5.

                   I so love food! I mean, who doesn't? That's why if I would to make a blog someday, I want it to be something that is about what everybody loves: FOOD. If you're asking why someday and not now, well, I still can't afford to travel and try different food from different places. Maybe someday I can. Just wait and see.

4.

                   It sounds so kikay, but, yes, it's a dream of mine. Just imagine entering a room with a huge wardrobe full of clothes and hundreds of shoes were displayed on a glass shelf. Boys may not understand, but it's a paradise for girls. And I want to own a paradise.

3.

                    What do you expect from a bucketlist of someone who loves writing? Well, if you know how intense my passion is in writing, you probably know right at the beginning that I'd include this. When I was in high school, we were asked about how we see ourselves 5 to 10 years after we graduate. And I still remember how proud and sure I was when I said in front of the class that I want to publish my own book. What's funny is I even told them that I would entitle it, "In the Midst of Autumn" though I still don't have any story yet.

2.

                This is the reason why I want to learn how to speak French, because I'm so in love with the City of Love and Lights, Paris! Like everybody else, I want to see the beautiful Eiffel Tower and reach its top. I would also like to try the Pink Gin on the Purple Bar and go to the other tourist destinations like the Louvre Museum, Notre Dame Cathedral and Love Bridge. I wouldn't miss the chance to try French cuisines and go shopping, too.

                   If given a chance, I would also like to travel to other parts of Europe like London (just to ride the London Eye), Rome (to make a wish at the Trevi Fountain), Venice (to ride a gondola and try the real Italian pasta) and Vatican (to see the Pope, of course).

1.

                    When I reach 40, "enjoying" will have a different meaning. It's a phase where life becomes more serious and responsibilities become bigger. So I want to make the most out of being young by stepping out of my shell and going beyond the limit sometimes. I want to dip dye my hair, party all night, hang out with friends and do more selfies without minding what people say. As someone who is always bounded by rules, I want to at least try and experience how it feels like to do what my heart desires. I just want to enjoy life just before I close this "young, wild and free" chapter of my life.

                   As they say, life is too short to live with regrets. And I wouldn't want to see myself crying over spilled milk someday that's why I made this list.

                  If you also want to make the same list, just remember that nothing is impossible. Not because you cannot do it now doesn't mean you can't do it tomorrow. And just because you are physically or mentally incapable doesn't mean you cannot do what you want to do in life. Remember that it's not the physical or mental capacity that determines how far we can go and what we can do, it's our attitude and determination. 

(NOTE: I don't own some of the pictures.)

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               I was asked to talk in front of freshmen students last time about Journalistic Writing. Knowing that they are students from Communication Department, I was expecting that majority will be interested on the said topic. But as I went on with the discussion, it felt like only few cares. I understand that it was already that late and they were already tired. The time given to me was only limited so I wasn’t able to explain things. There were students going in and out of the auditorium, they were all talking and someone kept on saying “sssshhhh!” every once in awhile, so I was kinda distracted. I saw only few people listening attentively as I try to look at the crowd in the midst of my discussion. And I felt bad, not for myself but for the future of journalism industry.

                I know that writing isn’t that fun for those who don’t have the “passion”. I know that it’s a little bit boring compared to other fields that Communication students can engage into, like film making, broadcasting, advertising and many more. I know that I am just a campus journalist, and not a professional one to be in the position to express my disappointment. But that’s what I really felt, disappointed. I was still in first year college when I first noticed the few number of students from our class that are into writing. I understand the fact that some hate Journalism because they find it hard to express themselves into writing. But public speaking is my weak point, too, but I don’t hate it. I still find it interesting to do and exciting to learn. Knowing my weakness in the field of communication makes me want to engage myself more into it so I can learn more. In addition, being a communication student means being able to communicate with people through different ways, either through writing or speaking. That is why those people who are taking up AB Communication or AB Mass Communication must do well in both.

                It’s not that I was forcing those students to love writing nor to make them realize its importance. I was just expecting that I would see the future of Journalism in their eyes. But I was wrong. Those people are up to something else that’s why they chose to take up AB Communication. It’s just sad that if you ask them, many took up this degree program to be able to enter show business rather than to be a journalist.

                Well, anybody can be a journalist. You don’t actually have to take up courses like this to be a journalist. And because of this, I still see a glimpse of hope that Journalism industry would not decline. Despite of all the other things that can capture the interest of young people today, I am quite confident that there are still people out there who can help in saving Journalism industry. It’s just that some parts of me are still hoping that its future foundation will come from those Communication students, who were actually trained to enter a more serious field like Journalism.

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Online Journalism and its Effect on Print Media

                               Now that innovation can be seen everywhere and has already become one of the major foundations of a well-developed and progressive country, online journalism became a new phenomenon. It has taken over the traditional journalism and started the rumors about the decline of print media and its total disappearance in the future.

                When World Wide Web was released on May 17, 1991, many people became excited of the new opportunities that it brings. Investors began putting more money to companies that has a “.com” and “e-something” on its business plans. This resulted to what they call as “dot-com boom”, an investment bubble that formed around internet companies on 1995. But because online businesses were proved to be unprofitable, investors cut off funding these internet companies which resulted to many start-up failures. It was known as the “dot-com crash.”

                However, the creation of World Wide Web marked the beginning of various developments that shaped the world of online journalism. Among them are the establishment of the first journalism site on the internet on October 1993, and the launching of the electronic Telegraph, UK’s first newspaper website, on November 1994. Since then, newspaper and magazine companies all over the world started having their own online websites where readers can have an access on their news anytime and anywhere.

                Because of this new way of gathering and spreading information, many people started comparing this new phenomenon to the traditional way, which is publishing printed materials.  While some agreed that nothing can still beat the smell of a newspaper, there are still some who chose to be on web journalism’s side. Though anybody can post articles on the internet, which makes its credibility to be questionable, people are still into it because of some of its good characteristics. It is very easy to post immediately a news story on the internet, compared to a long process that a news story undergoes before it is being published on newspapers or magazines. Updating the information written on news websites is also very easy compared to newspaper. Online journalism is also interactive, since the writers can easily get the feedback or responses of the readers about a particular article. If print media has pictures or images to catch the attention of its target market or to make it easier for the readers to visualize what happened on the story written on the article, online media offers not only pictures, but also videos. Accessing news online is also free and it can be done anywhere as long as you have an internet connection. This is the reason why web journalism’s target market is composed of young professionals, youth and other people who are always on the go.

                Today, many people are still worrying about the negative effect of online media to the future of print media, especially those who are working on newspaper and magazine industries. But the pioneers of the traditional journalism or print media are not alarmed. They say that print media will continue its legacy despite the emergence of a highly innovative society in the future, and they seem quite confident about it.

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Dandelions

by Rizzalyn Bernarte

  I looked back at my hospital bed for the last time before I closed the door.

Leaving this hospital room isn’t quite easy for me.  I remembered when I was rushed here because I passed out while I and my best friend, Kathy, were jogging one morning. The doctor declared that it was due to heart failure. I had to take lots of various medicines, undergo some treatments and stay for further examinations. I spent almost four months lying on my bed, until I finally had the chance to get back to my normal life.

                I walked through the hallway of the hospital, looking for some relatives that probably came to fetch me. But I saw no familiar face, except for some nurses who used to come into my room to bring me some medicine or check my blood pressure every once in a while.

                “Hi nurse Jin,” I greeted one of those nurses as she passed by me.

She’s the one who became very close to me. She used to stay at my room every night to watch our favorite television drama. She wears a big smile always, which makes her look very amicable. But this time, she’s not wearing that same smile. She’s busy looking at the papers she’s holding. That is also the reason why she didn’t hear me.

I continued walking until I finally reached the main lobby. I stared at random people walking in and out of the hospital’s main door. I wonder how many people are confined here, sick, or worse, dying.

Since my house isn’t that far from the hospital, I just decided to walk. I saw Mrs. Halley, an old woman living just a few steps from my house. She’s carrying a small pot of an unfamiliar plant. She has a huge garden at the back of her house. It’s full of different kinds of plant, from ornamental to herbal plants. I used to see her buying some from the market every Sunday after attending mass.

“How are you Mrs. Halley?” I said in a voice louder than my usual one. She’s too old to hear things clearly. But she didn’t hear me, still. I waved at her when she glanced back, but I think, she didn’t saw me, too.

I think Mrs. Halley needs to get new eyeglasses .I thought.

I began running when I noticed that it’s already about to rain. That’s when I saw John. He’s already on his 30’s and is working on a small bakery five blocks away from my house. I always buy some bread there every morning before I go to work. And since I always come too early, we used to have a little chat while I’m waiting for the newly cooked breads.

“Hi, how’s the bakery? I missed Spanish bread a lot,” I said, smiling. He looked at my direction, but I wasn’t so sure if it was me he was looking at. He stopped for a while, but didn’t react.

Is four months too long for him to already forget my face?

 I contiued walking until I finally reached the front door of my house.

 I silently opened the door and stepped inside, as if I am a burglar trying to rob my own house. I opened the lights and examined the living room. Nobody’s here. I thought Kathy would stay until I get home so that my house wouldn’t be empty. But she isn’t here.

I went upstairs, to my room, and sat down on my bed. My pillows were neatly piled up on the cabinet beside the window and all my CDs, books, wall paintings and picture frames were placed on a huge box under the table. Maybe some of my relatives made this or, maybe, Kathy. But why? It’s as if they’re not expecting me to go home at all.

Suddenly, I heard something downstairs.  I hurried to go down.  As I reach the living room, I realized that it was dark there.

I can’t remember I closed the lights here.

I noticed a glimpse of light coming from a small flame.

Maybe a candle.

And the room smells like flowers.

Dandelions.

 I closed my eyes and tried to remember everything: me being rushed into the hospital, no close relatives to fetch me, not being noticed by people, my things arranged as if I won’t go home anymore, the candle in the midst of this dark room and the smell of my favorite flowers. I closed my eyes as tears roll down my cheeks.

Lights opened.

“Surprise!”

I opened my eyes and smiled. There they are—my relatives, Nurse Jin, Mrs. Halley, John, Kathy and all of my other friends. It’s a welcome back party.

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I don't know if this is a quote or lyrics of a song. Thanks to whoever wrote this thingy on TP Diary. #Relate ♥

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“The End of the Vast Sky”

(SHORT STORY)

I’d been flying through the infinite horizon for about several years ago. It was when my wings were still strong, when the wind was still warm and friendly, when fate was still smiling back at me, just when my life was still made to fly. But things aren’t meant to stay forever. They are meant to change, go or disappear. Same as you can’t stay on where you are, for you are meant to move forward and face millions of obstacles; you are meant to succeed or to fail, to live or to die. Happiness, freedom, contentment-- things that you thought might last forever. But they are actually made to appear then vanish through thin air, like bubbles that once bring joy to a kid but disappear after seconds.

I still remember when I was still beneath my mother’s wings, just when I still feel safe on my nest. I remember how I feel then. I wanted to fly, like those enormous other birds that fly here and there. I’ve already heard all kinds of encouragement from my mom but still, I was too afraid to try, I was too afraid to fail.

“Don’t be afraid my little one. God wouldn’t give you the wings if He knows you can’t use it. He wouldn’t make you a bird if He can’t give you the ability to fly”, she said.

I always try to listen to her, but every time I try to step out of the nest and ready my wings, cold breeze will cover my body and fear will suddenly engulf the whole me. That was a normal feeling for a young and innocent bird, I know. But I wanted to fight fear. I wanted to overcome what I am afraid of. I realized that if I let fear control me, it means I’m also giving it the power to pull me down. So, I tried… My first try wasn’t too easy; I fell, knocked down and got wounded. Same thing happened during my second, third and fourth try. I thought of giving up for about countless of times. But all the efforts I made will only put into nothing if I give up. “Not now”, I said to myself. I continued trying. And every time I fail to do it, I just get up and use that failure as a stepping stone to view success.

Then one day, I made it. I managed to fly and reached the sky that I had been looking up since I was born. I’d seen the top view of the tree where I grew up. I played through soft roll of clouds, under the warm sun rays or cold raindrops. I flew from tree to tree. Here and there, I went. I spent all my days flying and looking at wonderful views from above. I loved that feeling, being able to outcome the fear that once covered me. I looked back on our nest and I saw the one behind this achievement. I saw how proud she was while staring at this young bird that used to say he can’t fly, but now, can’t even live a day without flying. I still remember that moment. She would laugh every time I almost lose my control, clap when I do exhibitions on air and keep silence most of the times, maybe thanking God for helping me do this. Years passed by and I mastered flying. I learned how to fly through soft and heavy winds, how to slow down and fly fast, how to go higher and how to land perfectly. I’d been with different kinds of birds, trying to learn more about the difference of our wings and of how we fly. I’d seen many places, different kinds of people, and admired the beauty of the world. I was drowned with too much happiness for what I made that I almost forgot the word “END”.

As I’ve said, happiness is not eternal. It ends, and together with its disappearance is the replacement of pain, sorrow and grief. I was busy resting on a branch of a tree when stones were thrown unto me. Laughter was all I heard as I slowly felt the pain of every hit. Eyes of children were all I saw as blood started flowing down from my wings. I got so many bruises, and it weakened my body. From the tree branch, I fell down to the cold ground. They gathered around me, quietly. Their eyes stared down at me, without any sign of pity. I wanted to fly but my bloody wings refused to. I tried to move but I was too weak to do so. After few seconds, my heart stopped from beating and I felt nothing, heard nothing, saw nothing. All I know is I was lying there, almost breathless, almost lifeless.

And the last thought that came into my mind before it also stopped from functioning, was the realization that even the vast sky has its end.