[mrsbartlesby]

If it’s not already clear enough to you that Shane Hollander is the jock to end all jocks, please do refer to the way he approaches sucking dick. He’s full throat, balls to the chin, if I’m not the best at this immediately I’ll die from the second he drops to his knees the first time. He studies, he seeks every opportunity Ilya gives him to practice, he literally thinks about how he’s going to become the best dick sucker to ever suck dick. He learns all the different ways Ilya likes it, and he perfects each one. Shane Hollander is MVP, All Star, Hall of Fame blowjob champion and there was zero doubt in his mind that that’s exactly who he was meant to become. And so he does.

[mrsbartlesby]

Do you ever think about how after the cottage, and coming out to Shane’s parents, and starting to really be together, they talk about all those hookups? And how both of them can now admit how much they felt for one another? Like, they can finally be honest about how hard the goodbyes were, how much they wanted to stay, how every moment felt invaluable. Sure, they hid so much from themselves and one another, but looking back I’m sure they’d see themselves and their feelings differently. Think about the goodbye after the first time they fucked, how tumultuous their hearts must have felt, bursting and closing in at the same time. Maybe their minds said one thing, but I know those feelings were screaming, this is it, that’s him, that’s the one. And then they’re finally together and open and they can break down those barriers and be like, it was you all along. And some part of me knew that since we met. They can say it and have it reciprocated and I just think that the confirmation that they weren’t actually alone at all, they were in it together, the whole time, that must have been heady as hell.

[mrsbartlesby]

Fun thought today. You know how when you’re having such a good time, maybe you’re on vacation or you’re just away from your every day life with someone you love or you’re getting time with someone who is going to have to leave soon. You’re loving every moment, it all feels surreal and so real and you’re so happy. But somewhere inside you know it has an end date. So there’s that little anxious ball deep in your gut that flares sometimes into a wave of nausea. And you have to shove it back down because it’s not stealing one precious second from this experience you’re having.

Now think about those two weeks at the cottage. How every single good moment was probably followed by that little wave of, this time is ending soon. How heightened everything would feel. And how far down the fall when they finally had to part.

[mrsbartlesby]

So many years into it, Ilya hadn’t found a single thing about Shane Hollander that gave him the slightest hint of the ick. Everything about him sang to Ilya, made his blood heat and his heart feel a lightness he hadn’t felt since before his mother died.

They’d finally made it to the cottage, to this place where Ilya had felt like maybe he could relax with Shane. And he had been honest. He’d admitted he was in love with Shane and then they’d been hurdled into coming out to Shane’s parents in less than 24 hours. Ilya’s heart rate had finally started to come down after the I love yous, the meeting the parents, the sex that he was still having trouble even thinking about, it had been so fucking good.

Their first couple meals at the cottage together they had eaten on the deck, in broad daylight. What he didn’t notice at first was that Shane kind of ate like a caveman. His table manners had been fine up until now, but Ilya felt like he was seeing Shane unmasked.

They were back on the deck for dinner, and Shane was taking huge bites of his hot dog, barely swallowing (which Ilya knew he was exceptional at), then diving into the next giant bite. Ketchup and mustard were all over his face. Maybe he was just really hungry? Ilya hadn’t let him leave their (their!) bed for hours, so fair enough. That was probably it.

The next morning they sat down at the kitchen table with scrambled eggs, some toast, and fruit. After a few bites of his own, Ilya finally looked at Shane hoping that his polite Canadian boy had regained some semblance of etiquette. But no, he was now shoveling eggs into his mouth like some sort of children’s cartoon.

“Shane, slow down, you’re going to choke.”

Through a mouthful of scrambled eggs, “What?”

“You are eating so fast. Slow down.”

Shane finally swallowed, briefly distracting Ilya with the movement of his throat. “I’m eating how I normally eat.”

“This is how you normally eat? I have never seen you eat like this.”

“Fuck off, asshole. Just let me have my breakfast.”

Ilya wasn’t trying to be an asshole. He knew his focus on table manners was a product of his upbringing, of his tyrannical father who made every dinner another opportunity for Ilya to fail. But he also felt confused. This was Shane, who folded his clothes before giving blowjobs, and who had so many pillows on his bed that making it every morning was like a temple ritual.

They finished breakfast in a hurried silence, and Ilya took their plates and started to tidy up.

“What do you mean you’ve never seen me eat like that? Was I eating too much?”

Ilya had already picked up on how closely Shane watched what he ate. “No. No, no, no, is nothing like that.”

“What is it then?”

“You were just eating… different.”

“Ilya, we’ve eaten less than ten meals together the entire time we’ve known each other. How could you possibly know how I eat?”

“Oh, I know how you eat.” Ilya’s eyebrows lifted, and the corner of his mouth hitched up in the way it did when he was thinking about getting his mouth on Shane’s body. Or Shane’s mouth on his.

“Do not try to change the subject!”

Ilya stared at Shane. At his rumpled hair, his beautiful face attempting a scowl, the tshirt he’d stolen from Ilya last night, and his briefs and strong, soft thighs. He already loved Shane in a way that made his stomach nervous every time he looked at him like this, entirely comfortable and in his favorite place. And Ilya was, apparently and unexpectedly, his favorite person.

Ilya realized that pointing out that Shane ate like he was going for gold in some horrible game show challenge would only hurt Shane’s feelings. Give him another thing to be overly self aware about.

And Ilya didn’t actually care. In that moment, he realized that he loved this part of Shane. He knew Shane could be impeccably polite in public, but this was Shane unleashed, zero concern for how we was being perceived, himself with no chains.

“I was just glad you liked my eggs.”

“That I liked your eggs?”

“Yes, I have not gotten to cook for you much. Not since…”

They hadn’t talked about that day in Boston yet. Not beyond Shane’s apology at All Stars. Ilya knew they’d talk about it more, but now wasn’t the moment.

“I am just glad I can cook for you now, and I didn’t want to rush it. I don’t want to rush my time with you anymore.”

As their eyes met, Ilya knew the softness in Shane’s eyes was reflected in his own.

“I love that we get to cook for each other now. I love not rushing. I love… being with you.” Shane’s eyes were getting extra shiny the way they did when Ilya made him extra happy.

“Mmm. I think it’s time for us to shower and get our day started.”

“What did you have in mind?”

“I will describe to you in great detail in shower.”

Shane was already halfway to the bedroom, and Ilya followed him like he knew he would for the rest of his life.

[mrsbartlesby]

Shane took three years to read one hockey history book, but the second Ilya says he struggles with depression Shane is locked in. He’s a PhD student. He’s a scholar. He’s on a first name basis with local librarians. He’s got Galina in his Favorites list. He’s got a care plan so elaborate it rivals the engineering of spacecraft. If he has to travel without Ilya, he briefs Yuna and David like a CSIS mission. If he’s really worried, he’s flying in Marly and Svetlana on private jets.

[yadathings]

[mrsbartlesby]

I love this too much.

[mrsbartlesby]

Ilya discovers Gossip Girl while he’s stuck on the couch with a bad cold one day. For months after he signs all of his texts, “xoxo, gossip girl.”

(I think I’m going to write a fic about this.)

“Just say it, three words, eight letters, and I will forgive you for throwing out the rest of my milkshake.”

“Chuck should have waited longer at Empire State Building! If it were Shane I would be there all night!” Troy just puts his headphones in, knowing Ilya will just keep talking regardless. Chuck and Blair always get him really fired up.

(You know, dumb shit like that.)

[mrsbartlesby]

Shane Hollander, on the phone with Hayden, telling Ilya he absolutely will not get hard.

This fist is book canon, and every time I read it this is all I can picture.

[mrsbartlesby]

Shane Hollander the first time Harris takes him out in Ottawa.

Ilya and Troy pop up later in the evening and find the two of them in the middle of the dance floor.

Shane is shirtless, and Ilya’s brain liquifies as it tries to process the lust, jealousy, pride, and concern all at once.

[mrsbartlesby]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Shane Hollander & Ilya Rozanov Characters: Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov Additional Tags: Domestic Fluff, Smut, Fluff and Smut, Safe Sane and Consensual, Post-Book 6: The Long Game (Game Changers), One Shot, Ilya Rozanov Loves Shane Hollander, Shane Hollander Loves Ilya Rozanov, Date Nights, Oral Sex, Jock for Jock Summary:

Ilya could feel his heart crack a little the way it did every time one of them brought up those experiences they'd missed when they weren't really together. Shane lifted his head to look at Ilya, and Ilya could see the softness that always crept in when their eyes met. "OK, baby, we can give it a try." Ilya beamed back at Shane. When Shane called him "baby" he knew he'd won.

[mrsbartlesby]

A little thought I have whenever I see people commenting on the sunshine at the cottage (myself included) is that the sunshine is really just for them, and eventually Shane’s parents. But it’s not sunshine sunshine, because they’re still hiding. The sunshine is illuminating their feelings to themselves and to each other, but they won’t actually be out to the world or even most of their friends for years. Years! And it makes me think how returning to them in TLG was a way to give them a happier ending, which it does! But it also doesn’t. And that’s why we get Unrivaled. Because they are stars viewed through a global telescope, so to really get a happy ending then there also needs to be that bigger reckoning and acceptance (let alone happiness and joy directed back at them). I guess I just have a different view about them at the cottage, where it’s still so bittersweet. Getting to finally be honest, be together does mean so much to them, but it’s also a doorway into so so so much more they have to face. It’s a happy ending, but not the happy ending.

(And honestly Rachel just gtfo out of here because the more I reread and then also work on my own writing, the more I’m inspired and also intimidated because she’s really fucking good.)

[mrsbartlesby]

I survived rewatching episode 4 only to be taken out by episode 5 (my favorite) and then revived by episode 6. Some snippets from the unhinged live posting I did during the rewatch:

- I was not mentally, spiritually, physically, emotionally prepared to see Shane’s big bottom eyes even more clearly.

- Shane’s “Mr. Hunter” is a deeper burn than anything Ilya throws out.

- Honestly those fades to black during their first time were a mercy because watching when I can actually see as intended has put me at risk of a stroke.

- I do think that if you watch episode 2 Shane and can’t understand where he’s at, you’ve probably not been deep enough in the situationship trenches.

- What if the reason they changed the team to be in San Francisco instead of San Jose was so they could have a scene there eventually. Imagine Ilya out in the Castro.

- Ok im sorry but how have some people been watching with this lighting all along. You all watch this daily? Im not sure who feels more sick at the end of episode 2, me or Shane.

- Thank god for the reprieve of episode 3 because the Vegas hotel room scene in what felt like a fully immersive experience just almost put me in an early grave.

- Better lighting only reinforcing that Kip is the cutest patootie to ever cutie patootie.

- Big ups to Scott Hunter for being Mr. 100,000 Years Old and still looking like THAT in this brighter lighting.

- Those socks gave Scott so many blisters.

- I’m going to call watching this the way god (Jacob Tierney) intended my own personal Enlightenment.

- I’m sorry but I could hardly take seeing their faces more clearly as Shane said, “I don’t know that side of you at all.”

- You know what I didn’t know I needed? For that couch scene to be even hotter, and even more devastating.

- Being able to actually see their facial expressions in the club scene? I’m sick. I’m unwell. I need to take five.

- The Tampa Bay bar scene closeups are it for me. I’m done. It’s the best scene in the whole show and I will not be receiving feedback at this time or ever.

- I think Ilya’s voice saying, “you wear glasses?” would actually wake me from a coma.

- Correctly lit tunnel scene and Ilya’s little look back and smile and I just realized I still have the hospital scene and I’m gonna puke.

- Shane Hollander being like, let’s say how we really feel and then immediately doing the opposite while they eat burgers. Shane, you really are the guy of all time and I love ya for it.

- Jesus I’d totally forgotten about the Hayden phone call scene but you know what, yeah, I did need to see that in the better lighting.

- Somewhere between “how did we let this happen?” and “she would have loved you, like I love you,” my soul actually left my body and is now watching me from above.

- Ok wait, after David sees them and they’re talking about going to see his parents, Shane is back in shadow and Ilya is in the sunlight and honestly I’ve about had enough here (I’ll never have enough).

- Shane saying, “it’s a long story” and immediately realizing he’d just opened the door to his parents asking about said story and then Ilya making it even worse is so endlessly funny and real.

- Thank you for pasta and now I’m crying.

I’ll just be here for all of eternity it seems.

[mrsbartlesby]

The fics I write:

The fics I read:

[mrsbartlesby]

I just watched episodes 1-3 for the first time in three months, also with the correct lighting for the first time. I’ve astral projected. I’ve ascended.

I’ll pick back up tomorrow, and fully don’t plan to survive episode 4. I look forward to posting about episodes 5 and 6 from the afterlife.

[penandinkprincess]

it's actually so important to me that even before they had REAL space for it in the cottage, ilya and shane have always been able to understand when the other is going "play??"

everyone always seems so surprised when shane is funny or makes a joke, and i don't think it's meant to be mean, but like? yeah shane is funny. he's always been funny. he's picky about his audience (because he has his image to think about and also because he's just naturally reserved), but he is snarky and quick with it. you know who has ALWAYS found him funny, though?

and on ilya's part, he chirps partially (i think) strategically to have the other team playing annoyed because that's not going to have them on their a-game, but also?? it's for fun. he is puppy nipping and going "play??? play back??? play??" and with almost everyone (because of the reputation he's been branded under), the response he gets is fuck off and a refusal to engage, like we saw with scott hunter. you know who's always understood that this is supposed to be for fun, though?

like these two have SO many communication issues between them, but it's so special to me that from the START they've been able to go, "play????" "yeah, i'll play"

[mrsbartlesby]

I love this and it made me think that part of this ability to play, especially in a hockey or competitive or jock context is that they’re so evenly matched as athletes. Ilya chirps others and the other players are already so aware that he’s so much better than them, so then when he adds on by talking shit they’re like, dude, fuck you being the best isn’t enough? And with Shane they think he’s so good because he’s so serious, so why would he want to have fun? The seriousness got him here, so the other players are like, respect. But they Shane and Ilya are such equals they can have fun with it because it’s just not that deep. Of course, their soul bonded, undying, waters run so deep they’ll never run out type love helps, but in some ways they’re just two dudes who are so equally good at hockey they can play around with each other, too.

[mrsbartlesby]

Tonight I’m thinking about them at the cottage those first few days up until “I love you.” Yes, we all imagine they were nervous and then their natural chemistry took over, but there still must have been trepidation about sharing that space, moving around each other. What do they actually like to eat, day in and day out? Does one of them leave wet towels on the floor? Of course not, but, they wouldn’t know that first hand yet. And Ilya, Ilya is in Shane’s home. He’s a guest. He doesn’t want to muss anything up, leave something out of place. Somehow alter something that Shane likes just so. And Shane wants Ilya to feel welcome, at home so he’s holding back all his little idiosyncrasies that everyone has in their own space. Maybe Ilya has morning rituals like he doesn’t want to talk until he’s had his first sip of coffee, or a shower first thing in the morning is Shane’s favorite solo moment of the day. And sure, all that goes out the window for a short time, but then the little things that they love as individuals will have to fit in somehow to this new paradigm. We all see them as the codependent symbiotic organisms that they become, but they’d also need space for the fact that Ilya cannot abide by a single crumb on the kitchen counter and will whip out a rag and cleaning spray so fast you’d think a curly-haired tornado had touched down in Shane’s kitchen. And if the hand towel in the bathroom is too damp Shane will audibly gag, and not in the way Ilya fantasizes about. But they can’t even say how they feel about each other, so they’re certainly not going to start listing off the little things that they’ll actually need to learn about one another in order to really share a life. And holding those in is its own kind of torture, especially when the need to say “I love you” is already slowly expanding in your chest and making it hard to think, to breathe. So much of that comfort comes with time, and they’ve had so little of that. Now they’re zero to sixty, all in, head under water, jumping out of the plane, hoping the parachute will hold them both. And it’s 24/7, physically and metaphorically on top of each other, and it’s uncomfortable in that way that feeling exhilarated is uncomfortable, in the way taking a big risk is uncomfortable, in the way that everything you’ve ever wanted is finally right in front of you if you can just grasp it is uncomfortable. It was probably the most comfortable sense of discomfort either had ever felt.

That sort of discomfort in a place you so desperately want to feel at home feels so relatable, I can almost reach out and touch it.

[mrsbartlesby]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Heated Rivalry (TV) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov Characters: Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov Additional Tags: Domestic Shane Hollander/Ilya Rozanov, Post-Book 6: The Long Game (Game Changers), One Shot, Short One Shot, Ficlet, Ilya Rozanov Loves Shane Hollander, Shane Hollander Loves Ilya Rozanov, Date Nights, Silly, Fun Summary:

Shane and Ilya start planning date nights, catching up on everything they've missed thus far.