a book blog

i promise you the casual jokesy reviews of a teenage college student on the internet will not defame your favorite books

[mrsdallogay]

the aeneid by virgil

latin makes me want to murder myself but tbh the classics are fun once you get over the format. really too bad translations are imperfect, because virgil does incredible things with grammar that can’t be translated. remember that joke post about the aeneid being an unfinished speculative fan fiction of the iliad? that’s all that ran through my head. the entire time. the snake part was cool. best quotes: “if i cannot move heaven, i will raise hell,” and “perhaps it will be pleasing to have remembered these things one day”

in latin: 4/5; in english (avoid john dryden’s, fuck john dryden) 3.5/5

read here

[mrsdallogay]

raise high the roof beam, carpenters and seymour: an introduction by JD salinger

i found some things out recently about salinger that kind of piss me off too much to talk about him properly, but here we go. i put off reading this for over a year because, until recently, salinger was my favorite writer and i didn’t want to finish his works (my other favorite writer, donna tartt, publishes one book every decade, but at least she’s still alive). anyway, raise high the roof beam was sad and funny like everything, and seymour was sort of dry and i was tired and the end

raise high...: 4/5

seymour: 3/5

[mrsdallogay]

the girl with the dragon tattoo by stieg larsson

this book has the three f’s: fast-paced, fun, and fucked up. massive trigger warnings for basically everything you can think of. read it in a single sitting, semi in love with salander, had a dream she helped me at magic college (essentially where i go to school now) and transformed a former teacher into a young man with mermaid hair and a fake mustache. not sure if i’ll read the other books yet

4/5

[mrsdallogay]

the song of achilles by madeline miller

a reimagining, less-subtly-gay retelling of the achilles storyline in the illiad from patroclus’s perspective. like titanic, you know how it’s going to end but you still trick yourself into thinking it’ll be okay.  in the immortal words of plato, “achilles was a twink”

4.5/5

[mrsdallogay]

okay i wasn’t going to mention the more embarrassing things i’ve read this year but you know what, i have to be honest with myself and you, the reading public, so here we go, all at once. i’m not rating these

when all the world sleeps, by lisa henry: this book was nothing like i thought it was going to be. imagine thinking you’re reading a book about trauma based sleep deprivation and small town homophobia and then it transitions suddenly into bdsm. i hate the internet and i want to die. well written otherwise

nobody’s hero, by j. leigh bailey: i literally don’t even remember what this book was about. i think i read online when i was bored and alone and avoiding homework. was it mediocre? probably.  was it free? i hope so.  will it stand the test of time and remain a classic for all eternity? maybe if someone with a better memory reads it

captive prince, volumes one and two, by CS pacat: read both in an afternoon when the internet was out. i’m embarrassed, and i won’t say anything else. poor nicaise

a book of tongues and a rope of thorns, by gemma files: lmao i’m embarrassed to admit i read these, but you know what, they were fun and easy and dealt with aztec mythology and dark christian themes and homosexuality. a fun read when you’re blocking yourself off from the world and nothing matters

[mrsdallogay]

a tale of two cities, by charles dickens

i read a piece by forster where he just tears apart dickens’ characterizations and could match all his criticisms to character in a tale of two cities. not a bad book, but i didn’t particularly enjoy it, which was weird considering i genuinely love oliver twist/a christmas carol/david copperfield. like everyone, i liked sydney carton.  honestly i would also ruin the lives of a rapist’s family. but maybe i’m just petty.

2.5/5

[mrsdallogay]

last orwell for a while, i promise

“a hanging”

creepier than shooting an elephant, the first orwell story i read (creepier also than 1984, which i’m old enough now to view in a more satirical light, but not quite as creepy as animal farm. the uncanny valley of human animals just gets me, i don’t know). basically: a character similar to the narrator of shooting an elephant realizes the humanity of a man condemned to death, and then laughs uproariously with everyone else after he’s dead

read here

3.5/5

[mrsdallogay]

“politics and the english language” by george orwell

more interesting than the title would imply.  you know the particular prose of academia and people trying to make themselves seem smarter than they are (and, let’s be honest, the overlap between the two)?  you know how obnoxious it can be detangling overly long and complicated words and syntax?  orwell tears it apart, and tells us how to write instead.  writing rules, of course, are made to be broken, but his are excellent primers.  favorite irony: writing an essay on this using the language he decries. college, man

read here

5/5

[mrsdallogay]

1920: the year of six presidents by david pietrusza

i was definitely supposed to read this book a long time ago, but it ended up being pretty good post high school, regardless. highlights; woodrow wilson, the ultimate drama queen, taught at my college; FDR was purposefully unhelpful during hoover’s presidency so that people would think him greater when he became president (hal or machiavelli or both?); harding’s death was predicted almost to the letter; calvin coolidge was pretty cool. a fun history book for people intimidated by history books

this one shouldn’t get a rating because it’s a history book and my ratings system is extraordinarily subject to my mood while reading, but i’ll go ahead and say 4/5

[mrsdallogay]

white teeth by zadie smith

this book opens with my all time favorite quote, “what’s past is prologue,” and doesn’t disappoint—the weirdest, funniest, most sprawling book i’ve read in a long time. a bizarre amalgamation of literature, history, cross cultural and cross generational stories. i’ve picked up smith’s other works, and i think she’s well on her way to being my new favorite author. my professor has her signed books and posters all over his office because he hates me and wants me to suffer

5/5

[mrsdallogay]

shooting an elephant by george orwell

 i read this twice this year, first for a high school european history class (discussion topics: what does the elephant symbolize? did orwell really experience this?) and then again for a college seminar on fiction and non (discussion topics: did george orwell experience this?  did eric blair?). enjoyed more the second time, though whether because of the context, my age, or the prior knowledge, i can’t say.

first read through, 3/5; second, 4/5

read here

[mrsdallogay]

why i write by george orwell

an essay rather than a complete book, but excellent nonetheless.  got vague musil vibes from his poem, particularly: “i dreamed i dwelt in marble halls/and woke to find it true/i wasn’t born for an age like this/was smith? was jones? were you?” an excellent piece on how orwell himself shifted from the purple prose of an uncomplicated time to his famously polemic style in war time.

read here

5/5

[mrsdallogay]

wild: from lost to found on the pacific crest trail, by cheryl strayed. read this one for a class on fiction and non and, i must say, i much prefer the excerpts i’ve read of her novel torch to this memoir.  while at times the writing took on a greater level and although i found myself near tears at every mention of her mother, the book itself read like a novel length It Happened to Me XOJane article.  take everything i saw with a grain of salt: the author herself gave me explicit permission to call her “cheryl” instead of strayed. for better reading experience, listen to lucinda williams, simon and garfunkel, and first aid kit

3/5

[mrsdallogay]

catch 22 by joseph heller 

this is the kind of the book that i would normally put down because war, misogyny (i’ll leave the discussions of satirical misogyny for someone better versed in heller), men, etc., but the writing is so incredible and hilarious i can almost forgive it. imagine if the fourth season of arrested development was a gritty world war two novel. also imagine you’re not an idiot and enjoyed the fourth season of arrested development

5/5

[mrsdallogay]

king henry iv, part one by william shakespeare

i’ll admit, my first foray into shakespeare’s historical plays didn’t go as well as i’d hoped (especially considering my tentative history major leanings), but even at his most mediocre shakespeare’s plays are something to marvel at.  high points: everyone dressing as king henry iv, symbolism about counterfeit, prince hal’s machiavellian leanings, and [spoiler] hotspur’s death—“for worms, brave percy.” side note: did you know the relationships in my own private idaho were based on homoerotic and homosocial readings of hal and falstaff’s relationship?  me neither

3/5