When it comes to typos, go big or go home I say.
Asses to asses.
Sweet Seals For You, Always
we're not kids anymore.
macklin celebrini has autism
Not today Justin
EXPECTATIONS
Fai_Ryy

★
NASA
Show & Tell

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Discoholic 🪩

Product Placement
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
$LAYYYTER
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Stranger Things
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

ellievsbear

izzy's playlists!
official daine visual archive

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@mrsgarygnu
When it comes to typos, go big or go home I say.
Asses to asses.
This girl works at the restaurant they threw the party at. Disgusting.
Please, spread awareness.
What the actual fuck. Ive been to that chilis and I live close. I might be making a pitstop there.
From the producers who saw Shrek
Reblog this if you slept with my ex-wife Susan.
Trying to prove a point to my divorce lawyer.
So there’s currently 562, 321 notes. If we considere that 80% of it are reblogs that leaves us with roughly 449, 857 persons having had sex with Susan. If we say the average time fo intercourse (foreplay included) is 20 minutes (at this point I feel sensible to point out that, as an ace, I actually have no fucking idea and Google wasn’t of great help), that gives us 8, 997, 140 minutes which is also about 149, 952 hours or 6, 248 days. 6, 248 days is roughly equal to 17 years. Susan spent 17 years getting fucked.
which raises the questions : how old are you ? how long have you been married ? what kind of fucking athlete is Susan ?
a student athlete
#stay grinding💯😩 #no sleep😴⏰ put in that work 🤔🏃🏾
Knowing my fat ass if I were Belle I would have tried a hell of a lot harder to eat all those foods during Be Our Guest
I mean look at this shit
Bitch just grabbed a cherry
“Try the grey stuff it’s delicious” Bitch please pass me the fork
This scene is visually stunning, but my drunk ass would have climbed the table for some champagne
Don’t even get me started with the live action version I MEAN LOOK AT THIS
In summary I would basically look like this throughout the song
Smart is attractive
Educate me on some shit I don’t know boo.
The mouth of a Jellyfish is also an anus
impossible not to sing-read this in your head
at work we have a family of three huskies who come in for daycare and everyone calls them “the mafia” it makes me so happy because occasionally out of nowhere someone over the radios will say “we’re sending in the mafia” and then three huskies barrel their way inside and usually slip and fall on the tile ajfjajg
the white one is zephyr but everyone calls him the godfather and his sisters follow him around everywhere and they’re a tiny gang which i love
this is the only pure post
@mrsgarygnu omg omg
but you guys already had a mafia, Lu Lu, Snoot, and thena :D
@under-lavender-skies yas gurl yaas. Only their mafia looks majestic, ours looks a little slow hahaha
mr sandman
man me a sand
Make it the cutest man car door hook hand
what the fuck happened to our collective sense of humor like this is so stupid yet here I am stifling laughter in an opera rehearsal
400 DAPL protesters ‘trapped on bridge’ as police fire tear gas, water cannon (VIDEO)
Officers have deployed water cannon on the protesters in below-freezing temperatures, and are using LRAD sound devices. Earlier, there were reports of rubber bullets fired. Vehicles which appear to be armored humvees have arrived at the scene…
visit their website for ways to donate or increase awareness
me: i’m gonna go to bed early tonight
me at 4am on the cryptids wikipedia page:
You’re in charge of assigning every child on Earth the monster under their bed. One child in particular has caused every monster assigned to him/her to quit. You decide to assign yourself.
Case: #273402 Status: Disastrous.
I stare at the file and realize I have no options, over the last 2 years every monster assigned to Charlotte Dower has quit, every last one. Her first monster; a giant goldfish-faced humanoid named Bubba, had been with her for four years, and then she wasn’t scared of him anymore. After that it was a string of different common, uncommon, and rare monsters… I even assigned a sentient sock monster to her. He came back crying! I look on my tablet, only one assignable monster left; myself. Field work has never been my cup of tea, but desperate times call for desperate measures. So at 8:03 pm, after Mrs. Gideon tucks in Charlotte and her little brother Daniel; I slither into the space beneath Charlotte’s bed. Across the room underneath Daniel’s crib is a rookie, Chico, a standard Creep kind of monster. I turn my attention to the bed above me, Charlotte is still awake but barely, I reach up over the bed and run an ice cold finger over her cheek, silence, so I do it again. “I’m not afraid of you monster!” She whispers, but her voice is shaking. I can see a small clock on the wall 8:14, a door somewhere in the house slams and there is an audible hitch of breath from above me. A few minutes go by I can hear Francis Gideon yelling at his wife. There are heavy footsteps on the stairs, and loud panting breaths, Charlotte scrambles off the bed and… She. CRAWLS. Under. The. Bed. With. Me. “Move. Over!” Charlotte hisses at me. I do. The door to the bedroom slams open and I smell the stench of human intoxicants before the man even steps inside. I know why Charlotte isn’t afraid of any of my monsters; she’s afraid of her own. Francis reaches a hand under the bed and I thrust my wrist into it, he starts to pull, I slither out. “What the…” I cut Francis’s next words off by unfolding to my full 12 foot height. Looming over the drunken man I caress my cold fingers down his face. “If you ever touch, scare, or harm my child again, I will find you, and I will do the same to you, for all eternity.” I promise to him. As Francis runs from the room he soils himself. I pull Charlotte from under the bed, tuck her back under her covers and kiss her forehead goodnight. “I’ll be back tomorrow night, sleep well darling.” Charlotte Dower is my child, I am the monster under her bed.
WELL GODAMN, WE HAVE OURSELVES A WINNER
Holy shit I’m gonna cry that’s beautiful.
hey wait whatever happened to the murder clowns? did that just suddenly end? i just realized ive seen nothing of that in a while
one of them became president