Hi. Miss Pauling here.
I work for the Administrator. My job includes—but is not limited to—contract management, scheduling, errand-running, corpse disposal, PR cleanup, witness intimidation, coffee runs, and emotional damage control. (Mostly mine.)
Welcome to... whatever this is. A “blog.” Saxton Hale said it would “boost brand visibility,” then jumped out a third-story window before I could ask what that meant. So—here we are.
Think of this as a central hub for updates, operations, friendly reminders that yes, explosives are flammable, and possibly one (1) photo of the Pyro holding a kitten, depending on how today goes.
Against my better judgment, the Administrator has authorized me to leave the ask box open. “Engage with the public,” she said. “Humanize the brand.”
I currently have seven active burner phones, two full-time mercenary teams, and a handwritten list titled “Things Currently on Fire.” I do not have time for this.
Still—if you have questions about contracts, the mercenaries (God help you), formal grievances, or anything that can't wait until next Tuesday, feel free to submit them.
I'll answer. Eventually. Probably.
That’s it. Ask whatever. Or don’t. I’m not your babysitter.
(Actually... I am your babysitter. Never mind.)
Thanks so much.
—Miss Pauling













