“All I have to offer is the gift that You gave me. I hope it is enough.” <3
My first time logging onto this page since... the last text I posted however long ago.
I keep loading this tumblr page with modeling/artworks of mine over the years. I keep this page bc it is my most ignored social page. I think I actually have 6 followers currently? That’s awesome! I’ve posted my rawest thoughts and emotions on this page. This is why I keep it.
It’s hard to be brutally honest with myself online. I’ve had a Myspace, I currently have FB, Twitter, IG, and Snapchat that I use all the time. I post and visit these social pages at least 20x a day. But my once a year (if even that) visit to this page has more heart in it than I’ve ever shared on any other site. And I want to keep coming back to this page as I progress over time. I want to see if I am any more of the woman I imagined from my first few posts.
I am grateful today. I want to keep learning self-value and moving in the direction of my goals. Oh yess, I’m happy to update that I now love country music so very much! Not only that, I’m long past the embarrassment of admitting that I do love to listen, sing, and dance to country music! I’ve been line dancing, mechanic bull riding (stuck the 8, first time lol), even own a Stetson hat and a set of cowgirl boots! It wasn’t just a buy to fit a part either. Over the years of me growing as a person, my love for the genre naturally strengthened me into who i am now. Provided me with some confidence even.
“Do you really like this music?”
“I would never pick you to like this kinda stuff.”
The heart wants what it wants. I’m just listening and flowing with the waves that resonate most.
Side note though: it seems that during my country genre journey, everybody else just fell into the bandwagon pot. Now I’m just one of many. Just part of another trend.
Enough about country though. Next time I login, I don’t know what to expect from myself. I’m just hoping that I can look back again, and again (like I’m doing now) and see how far I’ve come. Read about how much I’ve changed. I wanna make a note also to myself (and if anybody else ever reads this): Don’t lose your light over the stress of money. Whether you have too much or none at all.
I am happier than I’ve ever been, but maybe the money isn’t quite where i want it to be just yet. But mentally, I am healthy again. (i quit my job at Panera to chase my dreams, and take care of my overall wellness.I AM improving and I AM making progress. I believe that i have potential and I am thankful for everyone else who supports me and believes the same. I believe I am closer than I realize, so I will keep going.)
At the end of the day, I’ll never regret the feeling of believing in myself. I am as possible as anybody else. Before I know it, I’ll be there.
That is enough for now. Take care.
