To the tune of Imagine Dragons' "I bet my life."
And I, I hate my life, I hate my life, I hate my life, so true
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DEAR READER

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occasionally subtle
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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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@mslizzyt
To the tune of Imagine Dragons' "I bet my life."
And I, I hate my life, I hate my life, I hate my life, so true
Random stupid god idea:
Unouar
(OO-NO-OO-ARE)
God of people getting called out without being named.
Me: "Sitting up helps my productivity!"
*crashing noises*
Me: "Fuck."
People give men named "Chad" a bad name, but what about people named "Chadd"? It's a cursed spelling.
If I ever see one of my Tumblr posts while I'm on Pinterest, I know I've made it.
Perfect Timing... almost
So this jackass I know through a club said something a little while back, and I regret that I didn’t take the opportunity to roast him to the point of past overcooked. Explanation: my bf and I first met on Call of Duty: Black Ops 4 in public matchmaking. And a number of my friends know that I have a bf, but not this guy. So a few weeks back, we’re having our club meeting over Discord, and he is being his typical self. Cracking jokes that are VERY borderline offensive, most certainly inappropriate, and he then says that this isn’t as bad as being in a COD lobby. I tell him that I play COD and most of them aren’t near as bad as what this is. He offers to play with me sometimes, which I essentially reply with “Over my dead body.” Now, I hate myself because I realize I could’ve dropped the bomb on him and be like, “People make friends all the time in COD lobbies!” and wait for him to reply in the negative, only for me to say, “My boyfriend and I disagree.” Dammit. Maybe I can bait him so he will fall for my trap.
Every single odd number has an “e” in it.
Infinity.
I finally posted some of my writings on Wattpad. Everyone should check it out. Same username on Wattpad as on here. Show me love.
I love the new Hercule Poirot movie Kenneth Branagh starred in. In the books, Hercule Poirot is super observant and stuck-up, selfish. As Snape would say, he's "an insufferable know-it-all." However, in this adaptation, he's portrayed almost more as mildly OCD, spotting when things are out of place. He's also very personable, and most of the things he says that might be taken as rude are more said of as jokes. Seriously, no one has seen the newest "Murder on the Orient Express" should see it as soon as possible.
Stop taking the Bible so SeRiOuSlY
Okay, so born-and-raised Christian here, and I had the funniest thought to come across my mind today.
A lot more younger people would probably be receptive to religions (in my head, Christianity, since that’s what I’m familiar with) if people stopped teaching it so... seriously? Like, The Bible makes a lot more sense when you look at it from a human perspective and not some lofty-theologian know-it-all perspective. Like, knowing your stuff helps, yes, but for the average person, the Bible makes a lot more sense as far as relatability goes.
Don’t believe me? If you were to sit down a bunch of Gen Z people and tell them about a dude who messed up so bad that when his friends broke the news to him via story (so as to get the point but maybe not hurt him too badly), he freaked out so much he had a meltdown and wrote a song about how horrible of a person he was and how nothing he could do could right this wrong he’s done, I feel like a lot of them would go “Mood.”
Oh really? Well, that’s exactly how King David reacted upon Nathan pointing out how he messed up with the entire Bathsheba and Uriah business.
How about one of the right-hand-men of Jesus Christ himself being a nervous wreck and constantly screwing up so badly and overreacting so much that he cuts a guy’s ear off, only for Jesus to go, “Dude, you want to get stabbed? Stop it. I’ll be fine.” and heal the guy’s ear.
Jesus literally told Peter (same guy as before) that he’d deny or renounce him three times, and Peter went “No I won’t! In fact, I’ll die for you!” Only for Peter to then go on and deny Jesus three times.
If people look past the fact that it’s a religious text and actually look at the people, I think they’d be amazed at how relatable some of these people are.
Also, huge amounts of diversity and inclusion, even in the Old Testament! Yes, it focuses on the Israelites, but in pretty much every story where the Israelites are facing an enemy, not all of them are bad and some are spared. (And usually, these people were women of low status, like prostitutes.) In fact, women play a HUGE roll in some of the most important events in the Bible! A prostitute hides Israelites spies while they’re checking out the Promised Land. Thanks to Esther, the Israelites were saved from genocide, and an entire holiday is based around that event.
If you still don’t believe me, Read. The. Book. Of. Ruth. She is a widowed Gentile who wishes to help her mother-in-law and ends up marrying another man (there is stuff in there that sounds weird, but if you look into their traditions, it actually all makes sense), and she ends up in the family tree of David and, later, Jesus himself.
It was women who found the tomb rolled away at first. This was the most important in the entire Bible, and women were the first on the scene.
The Bible isn’t just some high, lofty thing for people who have gone to seminary school and theology school for a decade to read. It is so relatable and has stories of minority groups for the ages. Seriously, the Bible is so much better when read like a novel than a history textbook.
Further update: my dad says I'm being snappy with him after our convo earlier today (see previous post, and I was snappier in person, but still), and then goes on to do stuff. Questions what I will do when I get a job, bc I struggle with the fact that I can't keep up with getting a lot of emails a day (most of them are pointless or repetitive, so I'm sorry that sometimes important new changes get lost in the stack). Then gets nearly upset that out of the ten latest emails I've gotten, I have only opened a few. I then stop him by showing that the ones I hadn't opened were "20% off bed and bathroom supplies" and stuff from organizations from before I changed my major. Like, Dad, I'm trying. Please, don't judge me for not opening every email that comes to me, bc my generation just simply doesn't do that.
There has been a strange number of similar instances recently, and I felt compared to share.
Parent: So I got an email from the University about X, what is it about.
Me: ???
Parent: repeats the exact same statement.
Me: I got no such email.
Parent: But I got the email from the University.
Me: Well, I didn't.
Parent: You must've not seen it. Check your incoming emails.
Email is not there.
Parent: Weird.
Me: Not really. The university just sent the email to the parents, and not the students. As I am a student, I do not get the same emails as you.
(For anyone wondering, this happens at least 5 times a year, especially when it is that time of year when you're filling out paperwork.)
One of my favorite parts of July 4th is that my family always watching Independence Day. My favorite part about Independence Day is that it has the exact vibe you'd expect an Alien movie starting Will Smith and Jeff Goldblum to have.
Laptops need a cat mode.
Your keyboard is completely turned off, and the outer boundaries of your laptop don't work on your touchscreen. Otherwise, everything works. Easy to turn on and off. Seriously. Laptops need a cat mode.
Of course!
You ever have those weird realizations? They don’t even have to come to you in the shower or when you’re trying to fall asleep. They just hit you like a bus, and you’re like, “How did my brain connect those two dots?” This happened to me a while back, and I’ve been meaning to post about it.
I was cutely calling my dog (Mary), and I noticed something. If you say it like you’re talking to a baby, it sounds like the question “May we?” However, it also sounds like the French phrase “Mais oui.” (I had been reading a lot of Hercule Poirot.) I got curious, though, and looked up the French phrase, as I don’t speak a lick of French. Upon doing so, I discovered something incredible.
The French answers the English.
“Mais oui” means “of course.” So next time someone might happen to ask you “May we?” you can legitimately respond with “Mais oui.” Or, even better, if someone ever asks you “Can we?” you can respond similarly, which might throw them off their game, since they’ll think you’re correcting them when you are, in fact, answering them.
I don’t know, I have weird thoughts.
Serious question: I get that on some sites, you can look up who acted in what movie or TV show, but why are commercials not included, or why is there not a website for who acted in what commercial? Like, I see so many commercials with people in it, and I squint my eyes and go, "Where have I seen that person before?" I need a website.
Hey, Tumblr, quick question, does anyone ever recognize any of the people on those shows "Celebrity Edition"? Like "Worst Cooks in America: Celebrity Edition," "Celebrity Big Brother." The only one that regularly has people whose names sound familiar is "Celebrity IOU."
And to anyone who did recognize someone, were you like "Oh, yeah, that person!" or more like, "Hey, I know of that person!" Like, do you feel they're well-known or are they niche? Am I even worse at celebrities than I already think I am?