* love maze
msunoah:
( ... )
He pinched the bridge of his nose with a thumb and forefinger, looking down at Milo once he felt a tug on his sleeve. He was hearing the words that flowed from his mouth, but was he actually listening to them? Noah couldn’t really bring himself to listen to the confusion, the hurt in the other’s voice and now he felt more of an ass for bringing this up rather suddenly. Milo didn’t deserve this treatment, this constant up and down of if, when, and what.
“Honestly, I don’t know what I’m doing here, man. Especially after saying no to you so many fucking times,” Noah began, rolling his head in defeat. “I don’t know why I’m wearing this costume, I don’t know why I’m talking to you and I sure as hell don’t know why I’m feeling so… confused. I’m not even sure if that’s the right word to use.” He habitually scratched his head, messing up his slicked hairstyle until strands cascaded over his eyes, down the sides of his face.
Noah stared at Milo longer than he probably should have as if he was waiting for something, anything. He looked at the ground. “If you want to be a couple again so badly, then why don’t you say something instead of sleeping around?” He questioned. “Are you waiting for me to get on one knee? I’m really not the person you should be waiting on.”
He leaned against one of the mirrors again and now there is sadness in his own eyes. “You want to know why I don’t want to hook up anymore? Our sex means more to me than just a casual fling or something to do to pass the time. I love… If this is…” He trails off, exhaling deeply. “If this is love that I’m feeling, then I don’t even want to think about it because I’m scared of disappointing you more than I already have.”
Noah shakes his head and corrects himself. “No, I know I love you. I know that’s what I feel, but I love you too much to hurt you again. Can’t you see that I’m trying to save you from that? Yet, we keep coming together, like this, and I’m just tired of it.”
( ... )
noah’s own confusion makes milo frown. he didn’t understand why he had originally refused to dress up with him for halloween (though it should’ve been obvious — they weren’t technically a couple), and he didn’t understand why he had changed his mind last minute. or why he was changing his mind again. if it didn’t make sense to noah, it certainly didn’t make any sense to milo. he was still happy to see him, that much had been clear... he just didn’t understand why he was acting like this now.
“well, i want you to talk to me and i wanted you to wear this stupid costume,” milo grumbles, huffing shakily and reluctantly letting go of the elder’s sleeve. “we look fucking amazing, by the way. not that you would care.”
he turns on his heels and rolls his eyes as he begins walking in the direction he came, knowing noah would be right behind him eventually. that’s why he had called him over in the first place, right? to help him get out of this dumb maze. milo always came to noah’s beck and call, not because he felt obligated to, but because he wanted to and he genuinely cared for him. he loved noah, yet time and time again he was pushed away like this.
milo doesn’t get very far before he turns back around to face the other. “why is it only up to me? you were the one that suggested we take a break.” it’s a childish point that he kept making, but true nonetheless. “and why do you keep saying that? why haven’t you said anything, since this was your big idea in the first place? why are you sleeping around, noah?”
milo didn’t want to know the answer. or technically, he didn’t want to hear it again. their last fight which had unsurprisingly turned into another hook up was still fresh on his mind, and he hated how complicated everything between them had gotten. he just wanted his boyfriend back. why did that have to be so hard?
“i’m not waiting for you to—” he brings his hands up, moments away from rubbing his face in frustration, though he pauses before he does when he remembers the makeup he had on. he throws his arms out to the side and groans instead. “fuck, all i’m waiting for is for you to tell me when. because i’m tired of this too. why do you keep trying to give up? can’t you see i don’t want that?”
he looks away from noah and shakes his head, trying to ignore just how badly he wanted to kiss him. or cry. he wasn’t quite sure which. “life has constantly been hurting me and fucking me over before we even met,” milo mutters sadly. “but i’d rather get hurt with you, by you, for you— whatever the fuck, than be by myself. or with anyone else.”
he sighs and lifts his head, glancing around at the reflections that surrounded them until he met noah’s gaze again, pain evident in his eyes. “isn’t that what love is?”


















