unaware

Yukari lets out a shaky sigh, her tone is a mix of disappointment from his nonchalant attitude and from herself. She shrugs a bit at the question.

“I don’t know...There...T-There was s-something in the forest- and it hypnotized me a-and it...made me try to k-kill Lewis- b-but I didn’t hurt him! H-He just...got a few scratches.”

She bites her lip, finally turning the rest of her body around to face him.

“I-It...It turned out just fine it was just....”

She pauses, sniffing.

“...really scary.”

#tatsuya #ic

WILD AND FREE AND FEARFUL [REACTION | CLOSED | FT. YUKARI]

He was free from it. He was finally, finally, free from it. The body announcement echoed in his head along with the liberating click of the bracelet that may as well have been a chain on his arm. Rolling his wrist and feeling actual energy, not disgusting poison, slosh through his veins brought a smile against Tatsuya’s lips.

A smile that should not have been there. That most would scowl in return for, because, why would he smile at someone’s death?

Why wouldn’t he? He was free now because of it. The thought both delighted and terrified him all at once as he made his way through the surrounding areas of the cold wonderland they were trapped in. Rather than go near the body, and the people investigating it, Tatsuya took a detour back to the first area. He wanted to clear his head. He needed to think and enjoy the pain free existence before he would have to deal with the migrane that being around those others tended to instill upon him. Honestly, what was up with them?

A noise as he passed the garden shelter sounded, causing him to stop in his tracks and frown curioiusly. Taking steps backwards, he reached the doorway again and peered in to see just what had caused the strange sound. Another person, probably, unless that cube was trying to garden only to realize that it didn’t have hands.

What he found though was, well, not what he expected.

“…Yukari?”

The name fell lithely off his lips, as it tried often to do since they had agreed on a first name basis for the time being. He slid into the area and leaned against the doorframe, tilting his head and causing a lock of blue to spiral against his forehead as he frowned.

“What…are you doing?”

eggcup-deactivated20180129

Yukari is standing in a corner inside the garden shelter, frantically playing with a lock of her hair while staring down at her feet and the plants surrounding them. Her hair and clothing looks rather disheveled, not that she’s usually very put together, but...she’s at least normally presentable. She isn’t very presentable right now.

She jumps a little as Tatsuya enters, slowly turning to face him. She has a very nervous expression on her face.

“T-Tatsuya-san...”

She stutters out, then turns back around.

“N...Nothing. Something bad just...happened...a-additionally to...”

“My god...G-Giselle...Poor girl...”

She hunches over more, wrapping her arms around herself.

“I was with Lewis, and...”

#tatsuya #ic

yg-ou-deactivated20180202

this is the most violent gif i’ve ever seen in my life

strange-world-of-ice

Curiously, Yukari uses her ID on the therapy center room. What could be hiding there...?

Yukari slides in her ID card and watches as the door slides open to reveal their room…

[♫♫♫♫]

A pale pink rug stretches to every corner of the room complimented by even deeper pink walls. The light fixture is shaped like a flower, with fake white petals clustering around the bulb. A little desk has a collection of cute little cards and patterned paper in pastel colours. A collection of animal-shaped pens are sat in a colourful glittery little cup. On a table by the desk is a, as weird as it may appear, a stuffed toy version of a wedding cake with two bears in wedding attire. The cake says ‘Congratulations Makoto and Yukari’ and a small black and gold card below it lists a variety of vows, about caring about each other forever and protecting one another. A wooden shelf houses a variety of plush cats, a vase of fake but pretty pink flower and a cream messenger bag. The only thing else of note is a wardrobe filled to the brim with clothing to Yukari’s taste.

#important #ch2 #ic

Out of Reach [Open]

murofushisan:

Yukari is, yet again, taken back. Her heart sinks a bit knowing she likely didn’t help him make any progress at all. It’s like he’s some kind of geode that she’s trying to carve out, but she’s not even that sure there’s crystals on the inside. She sighs, looking down into her lap with a somewhat frustrated look on her face.

“It’s…not about what oher people think of you. I’m not trying to…get people to like you, that certainly would be nice, although that’s n-not my job and only you can do that. I-…I am seriously jus trying to help you because, well…”

She knows he’s eventually going to contradict her on this or get angry, but…

“…You look like you’re in pain.”

“That’s all. If you’re truly not and u-ultimately I’m just bothering you I’ll just…leave.”

As her words sunk in his expression shifted. It went from anger to teasing to…to what?

To confusion and…something else. Something new on Tatsuya’s face that hasn’t been expressed before. It’s almost soft in its apperance, but only almost. A mix of vague hope underlying pity. A gaze of wonder and shock. He doesn’t reply for a bit, growing closer, as if staring deeper into Yukari’s eyes would reveal the answer he wanted.

“…why would you care if I was or not?”

The word is a whisper that can be heard because of how close he is to her. His squint grows in frustration, but ultimate exhaustion seems to win out as he murmurs out with a sigh:

“Everyone bothers me, Murofushi, that ain’t knew but…you…you’re weird. You and that deaf guy…you sound alike when you talk to me. I don’t know if I like it.”

What is the term he’d use for their words, he wonders? What’s their point? In pain…is he? Was he? He can’t remember. It’s the lack of memory that furstratedly snaps him out of his apparent stupor and he moves back, giving Yukari space with a sharp mutter of ‘fuck’ under his breath.

“Leave if you wan’t. I’m done talking.”

Yukari’s eyes do indeed reveal something. Worry. A lot of it. She doesn’t look back into his eyes as she slowly stands up from her chair. She feels rather confused- and also almost like she failed something.

“I care because...”

Why does she care? Sure, there’s the basic human decency to help someone- but he’s always being mean to everyone. He’s always teasing or saying terrible things. Why does she care?

“I-...don’t know. Sorry.”

She walks past their table, headed for the exit.

“I’ll l-leave now, if that’s the case...I don’t want to bother anyone...especially when it’s supposed to be helpful. Sorry, again. I-I’ll see you around I suppose, Ryuuko-san...”

And thus, she heads for the exit, leaving the two of them in a somber silence that fills the room.

Out of Reach [Open]

murofushisan:

Yukari hesitates as he speaks about what he’s done and what he feels- or doesn’t feel. She feels scared, but…she can’t just suddenly contradict herself by expressing that and walking off. That’ll only make him feel worse, won’t it? She inhales sharply.

“Th-That’s um…”

She swallows the lump in her throat and puts on a smile.

“That’s a start isn’t it…? You’re clearly worried about this- at least it’s bothering you and you’re telling me about it. T-That’s good, Ryuuko-san…!”

She says, her voice full of encouragement although she’s still rather put off. She just has to keep telling herself- he has to have some kind of reason for this. No one’s just like that, right?

He stared at her in what could only be described as complete surprise. Good? That was good? His frown only deepened and he leaned back, as if trying to stay away from her just for saying those words. Tatsuya wrinkles his nose in annoyance and guffaws at her sentances, glancing to the side with a huff.

“I ain’t worried about shit, Murofushi. I’m just saying that the way I think ain’t exactly ‘normal’. I don’t actually give a shit if people like me for it or not, ya see? I also don’t think its any of their damned business.”

And he stands, leaning forward on his hands and getting close so his next words can be said in a whispered, harsh growl.

“So why dont’ you forget all about it and mind your own business, alright? I get you’re trying to ‘help’ or whatever but…”

He smirks and winks at her with amusement, though the hints of annoyance are still heavy in his irises.

“You gotta love me or leave me, babe. I am what I am, even if I don’t remember all of it, so it’s best to just leave it at that.”

“It’s...not about what oher people think of you. I’m not trying to...get people to like you, that certainly would be nice, although that’s n-not my job and only you can do that. I-...I am seriously jus trying to help you because, well...”

She knows he’s eventually going to contradict her on this or get angry, but...

“...You look like you’re in pain.”

“That’s all. If you’re truly not and u-ultimately I’m just bothering you I’ll just...leave.”

#tatsuya #ic #ch2

Out of Reach [Open]

murofushisan:

Yukari bites her lip, her attempt to get through to him proving unsuccessful. She feels bad, in a sense she gets why Tatsuya is getting so frustrated with her. Especially when in reality she’s just taking hunches here.

“..That’s…not what I meant…I never said it was easy or anything…Ah, maybe I shouldn’t have said that…”

“Opening up isn’t…easy whatsoever. I’m not saying you should tell them everything about you, not that you c-can anyways, but…tell them how you feel at least. If you’re confused or worried or scared…Again, I’m not saying it’s easy…I-I still have problems with it too!”

Tatsuya’s eyes don’t let up in their harshness. It’s as if, in retaliation to the concept of ‘open up’, his body and mind have immediately slammed the vault doors to her. Eyes are windows to the soul and, right now Tatsuya’s soul was as black as his leather jacket. The only moments he lightens up is when she admits that she has problems with it to.

He sits up with a sigh and glares at the floor with an annoyed gaze, as if blaming his coffee for all of this.

“Tell them how I feel?”

He chuckles and sighs. He looks up at her.

“That’s the thing, Murofushi. I don’t know-”

There’s a hesitance to his words as he growls and leans back further, as if trying to disappear from her line of vision despite being over six feet tall.

“I saw a dead body and didn’t feel shit. I watched my own memory of murdering some suckers and wanted to laugh. Am I supposed to tell everyone that? That I feel like I could kill anyone here and just smile at it? That I could give less of a shit about their feelings so long as I’m alive?”

He sounds frustrated now as he speaks, gaze growing more passionatley angered at the entire thought process.

“Telling people how you feel and think only works when you feel and think a certain way. No one wants to hear about how you’d be okay with killing them. Or how you think their pained and annoyed faces are fucking HILARIOUS. They think you’re weird and stay away. And you don’t give a shit. That’s how it works.”

Yukari hesitates as he speaks about what he’s done and what he feels- or doesn’t feel. She feels scared, but...she can’t just suddenly contradict herself by expressing that and walking off. That’ll only make him feel worse, won’t it? She inhales sharply.

“Th-That’s um...”

She swallows the lump in her throat and puts on a smile.

“That’s a start isn’t it...? You’re clearly worried about this- at least it’s bothering you and you’re telling me about it. T-That’s good, Ryuuko-san...!”

She says, her voice full of encouragement although she’s still rather put off. She just has to keep telling herself- he has to have some kind of reason for this. No one’s just like that, right?

Out of Reach [Open]

murofushisan:

Yukari notices the atmosphere in the room suddenly getting colder, as if it wasn’t cold enough. She hunches over in her chair a bit, looking down. She expected this though and isn’t planning on letting it defeat her.

“N-No, no- of course not…It’s just…”

“It’s not fun to not know what you feel, isn’t it? I-…I was trying to help. That’s all. Even if they’re painful sorting your feelings out is helpful…”

She nervously takes a few sips from her coffee as Tatsuya speaks, trying to formulate a good responds as she listens closely. She slowly puts it down and hums thoughtfully.

“…Considering you want to survive that badly- it’s not strange but- the way you act about it…it makes me think you’ve been through some dangerous things…If that’s the case, I’m sorry- but just…simply being alive…all alone…that…s-sounds quite miserable.”

“Personally…I think other people are the best part of my life really…so…I think you s-should maybe open up a bit, as hard as that is…especially here…”

Tatsuya wasn’t sure what made him more frustrated: the fact that Yukari assumed so many things about him based on single conversations or the fact that he didn’t have any evidence or memories to disprove her theories on him. The terror that someone might guess to know him better than he knew himself messed with the sense of innane control he kept over the world he saw. It left him to grip tightly at the cup in his hands. He felt the burning of the insulated ceramic against his palm.

“Open up…”

The words are repeated and he sneers at them. There’s anger and fear in his lungs. There’s frustration in his eyes and amusement in his teeth as he bares them. A strangled, sharp sound that’s supposed to be something of a laugh breaks through as he leans forward and growls.

“You talk about that awfully easily. ‘Open up to others!’ You say. ‘Tell them about yourself!’ you say! Did you forget what just happened, Murofushi? Someone fucking killed another person. Why would I go around sharing things about myself to people who might just turn around and stab me because of it?”

He scoffs and tilts his head.

“Who even says that what’s inside of me is something people want to see, huh? You’ve seen my memory. You’ve seen my scars….”

The next words are whispered out with harshness to disguise the mangled worry.

“People will look inside and find something they never wished they fucking set their eyes on.”

“..That’s...not what I meant...I never said it was easy or anything...Ah, maybe I shouldn’t have said that...”

“Opening up isn’t...easy whatsoever. I’m not saying you should tell them everything about you, not that you c-can anyways, but...tell them how you feel at least. If you’re confused or worried or scared...Again, I’m not saying it’s easy...I-I still have problems with it too!”

Out of Reach [Open]

murofushisan:

Yukari can’t help but giggle a little at Tatsuya’s embarrassment. It’s pretty cute. She wouldn’t ever say that though, she’s not going to enable him. She gives him a thankful nod as the coffee is placed in front of her.

“Thank you…it looks nice.”

She says, then takes a sip. She recoils as she burns her tongue a tad, but after blowing into her coffee a bit it cools down. Slurp slurp.

She enjoys the quietness surrounding them for a moment. It’s nice, for some reason, she doesn’t feel as if it’s an uncomfortable silence with him. Considering the calm atmosphere, she figures it’s a nice time to bring up some harder topics, although the vibe was fun while it lasted.

“…I’ve been wondering…”

“…Considering your…indifference to what happened recently. Do you think maybe…”

“You’ve trained yourself to push back your emotions? I feel like…lots of people do that during frequent…bad things…With your memory and all, I figured maybe…”

He sits across from her as she speaks, his smile fading with the words that slide from her mouth. His gaze seems to darken as the effort to bring up the subject is shown. He makes no indication that he wants to respond right away. Instead, he shuts his eyes and takes a sip of his coffee, letting it burn his mouth and tongue as he heaves a sigh of vague annoyance.

“Push back….my emotions, huh?”

There’s a tilt of his head and a furrow of his brow as he gazes on at her, sharp and distrusting.

“So was this the reason you came with me? To Psychoanalyze my shit?.”

He waves a hand, indicating he doesn’t care much about the answer to his vaguely rhetorical question.

“I don’t….No. I don’t remember. Even if I was, lord knows why. But I think it’s more…I want to survive. As long as I survive…I don’t feel like it’s important, those others. I’m alive, aren’t I? I guess…that’s enough for my subconcious not to give a shit or something.”

He grips his mug tigehter and winces, smirking a little.

“Kind of fucked up, ain’t it?”

“N-No, no- of course not...It’s just...”

“It’s not fun to not know what you feel, isn’t it? I-...I was trying to help. That’s all. Even if they’re painful sorting your feelings out is helpful...”

She nervously takes a few sips from her coffee as Tatsuya speaks, trying to formulate a good responds as she listens closely. She slowly puts it down and hums thoughtfully.

“...Considering you want to survive that badly- it’s not strange but- the way you act about it...it makes me think you’ve been through some dangerous things...If that’s the case, I’m sorry- but just...simply being alive...all alone...that...s-sounds quite miserable.”

“Personally...I think other people are the best part of my life really...so...I think you s-should maybe open up a bit, as hard as that is...especially here...”

kaizouanzai

prominence // closed

kaizouanzai

murofushisan:

Yukari doubts LISE means anything she says. Books about how to calm kids? Ridiculous! First of all, they’re not even kids! She doesn’t have a trace of sympathy in her either.

Walking up to the skislope, she wondered…going skiing sounds fun, but what if she can’t ski? That’d be quite the disappointment. As she arrives however…someone is…angrily yelling and kicking the wooden gate. Kaizou!? She looks a little worried and wonders if she should actually approach, m-maybe turning back would be best…

Before she can do that though, they turn around and adresses her.

“E-Eh- Let’s what? Go skiing-?”

She looks around nervously a bit, then shrugs. She supposes Kaizou is right about that…they’re gonna have to try out different things, aren’t they!

“That’s- That’s fine. I guess we should find some skiis then…and also put on some warmer clothes…”

They all might as well be children, to be completely honest. That’s the facts.

“Great! Wonderful! Sensational! Let’s get to it! To the cabin! Yahooey!”

Kaizou fist pumps excitedly. They womp over in the direction of the ski lifts, fully expecting Yukari to be trailing behind them. If she doesn’t, then they’d look like a fool - more than they already do.

On the way there, they start talking without bothering to face her. Their words are genuine though.

“I’m honestly somewhat surprised you agreed so easily. I didn’t think you were the thrill-seeking type, but you do have it in you! Do you really not have any concerns you would like to share? Nothing important, like you’re actually allergic to snow or physical exertion? How awfully daring of you, Murofushi.”

Once the ski lift comes around, they hop on, hopefully not leaving Yukari behind. They were tempted to hike all the way back, but that wouldn’t leave much energy for skiing.

“Y-Yahooey!?”

Yukari is a bit puzzled at their use of words, but hurries inside the cib regardless and brings out some skiis for the two of them. She huffs as she carries them under her arm, watching Kaizou walking towards the ski lift. She just barely manages to jump on, struggling to find a good sitting position before their feet lift of the ground.

“A-Ah- Ha- Y-You almost left me behind there, Anzai-san...”

She wheezes out, leaning back in her seat.

“H-Hopefully we’ll be at the very least decent at this- I wouldn’t want to catch a cold or get injured- Ah- we’re here.”

She jumps off the ski lift and stands up on top of the hill, looking at Kaizou who hopefully hopped off in time.

#ch2 #kaizou

Yukari Sticks An Anime Figurine Hand Up Her Nose And Can’t Get It Out [Closed]

In the therapy centre, Yukari is standing in front of a particular door.

Satoko Ihara’s room...what could possibly be in there? Despite her rude nature, Yukari has always really admired her for her assertive personality and mature look. She’s almost jealous, but no, it’s more of an admiration thing. In a sense she looks up to her.

Looking at the door, she’s overwhelmed with curiousity. What’s hiding behind those doors? An office, probably? She really wants to know who she is better and where all her confidence comes from, but...man, she’s hard to approach. She’s never going to achieve what she has if she doesn’t try to though! With a shaky hand, she knocks on the door.

“I-Ihara-san? Can I come in?”

She says in a nervous voice, waiting patiently for an answer, if she’s even in there.

#ch2 #satoko #ic

kaizouanzai

prominence // closed

“I apologize with all my heart. With that…. Goodbye, everyone!”

Those were her last words. Did she mean it? They didn’t know her. They didn’t know anyone, let alone themself. They refused to forgive her. They were all supposed to work together. Somehow, they just couldn’t despise her as the villain they wanted her to be.

“…………….”

Deep in thought, the student marched around the base of the ski slopes, before tumbling into the wooden gate, knocking the wind out of them. Ouch.

“Urgghh… Wh-Who dare put this here!?”

They jumped up and down in their spot, absolutely fuming. Kaizou kicked it to show that they weren’t a force to be reckoned with. They were about to yell an expletive when they heard someone else trudging through the snow. That someone owned a familiar face, in fact.

“Murofushi! Let’s go skiing!”

Kaizou pointed up at the top of the slope.

“It’s unclear that either of our Super High School Level titles is related to winter sports, so we shall find out. Do you have any objections?”

Yukari doubts LISE means anything she says. Books about how to calm kids? Ridiculous! First of all, they’re not even kids! She doesn’t have a trace of sympathy in her either.

Walking up to the skislope, she wondered...going skiing sounds fun, but what if she can’t ski? That’d be quite the disappointment. As she arrives however...someone is...angrily yelling and kicking the wooden gate. Kaizou!? She looks a little worried and wonders if she should actually approach, m-maybe turning back would be best...

Before she can do that though, they turn around and adresses her.

“E-Eh- Let’s what? Go skiing-?”

She looks around nervously a bit, then shrugs. She supposes Kaizou is right about that...they’re gonna have to try out different things, aren’t they!

“That’s- That’s fine. I guess we should find some skiis then...and also put on some warmer clothes...”

#ch2 #ic #kaizou

A Sharp Shock [Open]

tofallondeafears

murofushisan:

Yukari leans her head hesitantly on Matias’ shoulder. She feels a little awkward hugging him, or someone in general, but honestly she needed it. God, it really doesn’t go away. She keeps telling herself that feelings are ok over and over and over again, then…why does she always feel so undeservant of them? Why does she feel so undeservant of comfort? She really can’t put her finger on it, but really hates that. Nonetheless, she appreciates it.

“T-Thank you, Matias…I-I’ll keep that in mind. P-Please don’t hesitate to come to me for the same.”

She says in a low voice as she pulls away from the hug. She gives him a really faint smile, but then at his last works, her eyes light up a little.”

“Th…That is a good point…I probably did have a relatively normal life if this is my reaction to abnormality…Th-That…That is comforting to know…My- My scars must have just been a-an accident or something…”

Speaking of her scar, she looks down at it with a soft sigh. At the same time, she realizes she should probably cover up a bit. She folds her arms over her chest quickly all of a sudden and chuckles nervously.

Oh Yukari, if you spoke up Matías could reassure you himself that emoting is fine. Crying thanks to feeling is fine. Even if he doesn’t quite understand why his normal reaction is to not do that, he was pretty sure it was normal enough to not warrant feeling shame thanks to it.

Thankfully, the voice being low or not was all the same to him.

“I’ll remember that too yeah. Along with your last words- I might not have heard them, but I’m definitely keeping them in mind.”

It was, however, a thing hard for him to process properly. He blamed the amnesia for not having a full picture of it to understand why he is the way he is and does things the way he does.

Either way he’s relieved she lighted up a little, though giving it another glance as well, it didn’t look like an accident. He wonders what his own knowledge of how scars look like says about himself, probably nothing professional though if all he gets are vague things. Like he wasn’t instructed in how wounds look like thanks to what, he was merely experienced in dealing with them. Hmm. He doesn’t have the heart to tell Yukari that it was probably not an accident, though, she seemed like she’d freak out easily and over what, another amnesiac’s hunch? Not worth it.

“No use thinking of and theorising about it, right? We’re clearly amateurs, so we’d just not go much further than Genda gets with his theories of knives dropping from spaceships or something. Let’s just not worry about it. I read more places are available now, have you checked those out?”

He blinks at her noticing she wasn’t well covered then and chuckles some, well that was belated.

“Or, well, I should probably leave for a bit? At least turn, but I won’t hear ya so just hit me when you’re done?”

He doesn’t really wait and turns to let Yukari have some privacy, now that she’s calmed down enough to return to care about that.

Yukari sort of uncomfortably laughs at his deaf joke. She’s not sure if she should laugh or not, she’d feel a bit rude doing so. Clearly he’s not too bothered by it though? She hunches over a bit.

“...I guess you’re right, we shouldn’t get too ahead of ourselves. Or, well, at least I shouldn’t. W-We probably shouldn’t talk about Genda-san behind is back, though...that sounds rude...especially considering he’s, um...”

She pauses then sighs. She opens her mouth to say something, but before she knows it Matias turns to leave.

“W-Wait- um...”

She watches him just, kind of. Leave. He can’t understand her if he’s not facing her anyway. She sighs deeply and sits down on a bench. Ah...what should she do...

#ch2 #ic #matias

Out of Reach [Open]

murofushisan:

Yukari figures she really doesn’t want to aggrivate this guy, he could definitely beat her senseless. She gives him a confused look as he seems very confused about her statement.

“…Coffee with milk. T-That’s…um…a pretty normal phrase, Ryuuko-san…”

“I guess we know you’re not a barista now, at least…”

She says with a light chuckle, then nods.

“A cookie or something sounds nice. I’m not in the mood for something as extravagant as cake.”

Tatsuya can feel the blush warming on his cheeks as he gives a loud shrug accompanied by a weird noise from the back of his throat, a sort of exasperated guffaw as he rummages around and makes them both coffee, putting milk into Yukari’s as instructed. He simply keeps his as black as the night.

“It’s not! You can have coffee milk too. It’s like…Milk with some coffee in it. Which is weird. Why put ANYTHING in perfectly bitter coffee?”

He comes out with the cups and stops to look over the see through display of snacks.

“Cookie….got it.”

He picks out a nice, safe looking chocolate chip cookie and also grabs a slice of soft bread for himself before heading back over to Yukari, placing her coffee in front of her with a teasing hum.

“Your beverage, my lady.”

“Thank you...it looks nice.”

She says, then takes a sip. She recoils as she burns her tongue a tad, but after blowing into her coffee a bit it cools down. Slurp slurp.

“...I’ve been wondering...”

“...Considering your...indifference to what happened recently. Do you think maybe...”

“You’ve trained yourself to push back your emotions? I feel like...lots of people do that during frequent...bad things...With your memory and all, I figured maybe...”

#ch2 #tatsuya #ic

When the Match Burns Out || Open

murofushisan:

Yukari looks at him with concern, but also…understanding. She nods slowly. She doesn’t like hearing he’s not doing alright, but she for once, appreciates honesty. Feelings-wise at least.

“I’m…I’m glad to hear that- n-not that you’re not okay!- but that you’re…well…honest about it. You shouldn’t like about being okay…I…”

She sighs, clenching her fist.

“…I really hope you’re not b-blaming yourself, still, Kirikubo-san…There was really nothing we could have done…in the end, it’s all Lise’s fault. Even if you tried, you saw what h-happened to me when I tried to do something right?”

She frowns at the memory of getting shocked. That really hurt…speaking of, she really hopes Chuichi is okay…Her eyes widen a bit as Shizumaru explains how he actually appreciated her emotions.

“….Y….You really think so? Well, I’m glad to hear that…t-their tragedies should be treated as tragedies, you know? I was rather shocked at…the indifference of everyone…n-not to point fingers or blame- but…I don’t know…th-thank you…You’re right, we can’t let this happen again.

“Let’s work together on making sure it doesn’t, alright?”

The sympathy burns. He knows that it’s normal. Yukari hasn’t done anything wrong; it’s quite nice. But the kindness stings somehow. He can’t quite think up a reply so he just nods. That will have to do.

He is still blaming himself but she doesn’t have to know that. At the same time, he feels lying is wrong. Is there any way to tell the truth without worrying someone? She’s been pretty frank to him… she even apologized, when, in his eyes, she didn’t have to.

“Perhaps that is so. But… but I don’t want to use LISE as an excuse. I don’t want to believe there’s nothing I can do. We may be children, but, together… our voices still matter. We still matter. If we talk things over and learn to get along… I want to believe we’ll all be better for it.”

“You must think me naive. There’s no way I can make everyone get along. But if I don’t try, it’s the same as giving up. If… there’s even a one percent chance I can change someone’s mind… it’s not worthless. That’s why I’ll try harder. I should’ve done more the first time. I failed them. But I won’t a second time. At least, I’ll try not to.”

The uncertain smile feels out of place but he tries for it, anyway. It’s as much to reassure himself as it is to reassure Yukari.

“People… sometimes have a weird way of showing their feelings, I think… or, perhaps, that’s what I must believe. Because I can’t bring myself to believe anyone would wish harm on another like that. I just can’t.”

He closes his eyes and has to face the possibility, at least, in his own mind, that it’s possible someone here has such malovolent thoughts. He doesn’t want to, but it has to be considered if he’s going to have a realistic shot at being useful here. And as such, his mind goes to a somewhat darker place. His expression gets a little stormy as he faces Yukari once more.

“I do want to work with you. I’ll be glad for that. But… I… want to ask you something quite important. I’ll understand if this is a line I shouldn’t cross. Um. Murofushi-san, do you want to learn how to fight? I don’t know what I’m capable of but I feel I can do this much. It’s not to kill. If someone gets out of control, we should be able to subdue them without harm. And… I wanted to extend that to you. I’m sorry, the thought is a little dour. But… please at least consider it, for your own safety.“

“Kirikubo-san...”

Yukari mutters at his statement about LISE. She then gets a more stern, yet still very sympathetic look on her face.

“...I’m not saying we’re using LISE as an excuse, it’s a reason. We can do our best, but not even our best can prevent some things from happening...that’s not our fault...You’re right though, we may not be able to control LISE no matter what we do, but we can try to control each other...”

“I really like your mindset...What you’re doing may not have a big effect, but the fact you’re doing it is what matters, but...don’t beat yourself up about your high expectations, alright? You haven’t failed anyone.”

She may be hypocritical in that statement, but she means it. Shizumaru is putting way too much weight on his shoulders here...Her eyes widen when he suddenly asks her if she...wants to learn out to fight? She seems a little taken back by the question, scratching the back of her head. She doesn’t think someone like her would be very good for something like that, but if it helps Shizumaru...To an extent, this means he trust her, doesn’t it?

“I- I’m not much of a fighter at all, but...I-If you think that’s for the best, I-I can do my best to learn! I suppose it would be good for self defense, if I ever need that...hopefully not...”

#ch2 #shizumaru #ic

Out of Reach [Open]

murofushisan:

Yukari can’t helped to be relieved when he’s not offended by her joking gesture. She sits down by one of the tables and watches Tatsuya look around for a minute. That’s right, there is indeed a lot to look for in these new places…She looks up and scratches the back of her head when she’s asked she’d like to have.

“Oh- um…c-coffee maybe?”

She says nervously. In reality, she doesn’t think she really likes coffee, but she wants to seem mature! She needs to build her rep back up.

“…Milk please.

It takes a lot to get Tatsuya intentionally offended, my good girl. Keep on trying. Or not. Either way, Tatsuya crosses his arms as he listens to her request for beverages. Taking in the words, his eyebrow quirks.

“Coffee….milk? Like Coffee AND milk or coffee milk, the ‘coffee milk’ drink?”

Coffee does sound good though. He thinks that he’ll nab a cub for himself also. Not actually waiting for Yukari to respond (she’ll yell if its really important) he turns to hurry into the kitchen area. While the glass view of sodas and other beverages are good, they crave something warm. He knew that.

Tatsuya takes his time in the kitchen. He rummages through the cabinets of the kitchen for cups and perhaps other goodies before attempting to locate any sort of coffee machine for him and his companion.

“Food or anything?”

The additional thought is yelled out to Yukari through doors.

Yukari figures she really doesn’t want to aggrivate this guy, he could definitely beat her senseless. She gives him a confused look as he seems very confused about her statement.

“...Coffee with milk. T-That’s...um...a pretty normal phrase, Ryuuko-san...”

“I guess we know you’re not a barista now, at least...”

She says with a light chuckle, then nods.

“A cookie or something sounds nice. I’m not in the mood for something as extravagant as cake.”

#ch2 #tatsuya #ic

When the Match Burns Out || Open

murofushisan:

Not only were they robbed of their life, they were robbed of the significance of their lives. It was cruel, unforgiveable…outright disgusting. Yukari wasn’t going to accept this kind of treatmeant towards these victims. Her feelings on Ji-Hyun’s decision was…well…complicated, but regardless, she was indeed a child. She shouldn’t have died. No one should die.

Wandering around and looking for new places to take her mind on something else as she greives, she enters the clinic only to see a familiar face apparently tending to his wound. She seems a bit surprised at his odd reaction and greeting.

“O-Oh, uh…sorry…I see. I didn’t mean to barge in. Kirikubo san…a-are you doing alright?”

“…Also I’d…like to apologize for my behavior at the trial. I shouldn’t have gotten so…angry at everyone. I hope you don’t think I’m childish.”

‘Doing alright’… it was an innocent question but it felt loaded. If he wasn’t alright, wasn’t that the same as admitting he was weak? That he couldn’t handle the events? And in doing so, that would mean he had no power here… and that no one would trust in him. However in being alright… wouldn’t that, in turn, imply the events had no effect on him? If he didn’t care about the deaths of two young girls, what would he care about? Yet another way for people to lose their trust in him.

Perhaps he was overthinking this, but he couldn’t help but stew over it. As always in times of turmoil, he hid his face. Though, without his scarf, that was a little trickier. He’d just have to make do with his hand.

“I’m… not… alright. I wish I could say I was. But… what happened, what we saw… it was despicable, Murofushi-san. It was inhumane and I can’t accept it, not at all. There’s… there’s no way Hwan-san deserved that.“

And that he believed, firmly. He couldn’t okay her actions, but, to condemn them to that point? It seemed ridiculous. The line between what was good and what was evil became ever more dubious and that, perhaps, is something that scared him the most.

Upon seeing Yukari close her eyes, he shook his head and frowned deeply. ‘Childish’. Perhaps Yukari had her own doubts, doubts that somewhat mirrored his own. There was something very painful about the word ‘childish’, he found, a reminder of how little one could do.

“You can’t say that. No, um… rather, you have nothing to apologize for. You’re… you’re just scared. Who wouldn’t be?”

I’m scared, too. He refuses to admit that.

“That’s why we can’t let this happen again. We’ve seen what happens when you get caught. There’s no reason for us to be attacking each other like this. I’ll get stronger, strong enough to protect everyone. But… you had every right to be upset. I think… I think it sounds bad but I was glad, in a way, when you got angry… that you felt so passionately about what happened… I was glad. I think Shiga-san and Hwan-san would be happy you protected them… I guess that doesn’t sound right but… um… I hope I’m making sense. “

He rubs the back of his neck and turns away. Shizumaru cannot help but feel everything out of his mouth is a mess.

“… Anyway, apology not needed but accepted.“