❥ She’d always wondered what it would be like to meet another self-aware program like herself. From what she understood, her emotions were only mean to be imitations of the real world counterparts humans could feel. Maybe this was still true of a robot like him…but somehow, she still had a hard time believing that. What she felt - her grief, her fear, her mourning that she had been experiencing since leaving the confines of her own game- it couldn’t possibly be defined by a series of 0′s and 1′s. Feeling what he felt in turn…she was only more certain of that now. She’s sure it’s a massive breach of privacy to be in his systems like this - but it wasn’t her intention to be here, nor her will to be able to feel his emotions begin to flow through her body. Now that she was no longer in a full blown panic, she could feel his frustration ripple through her like someone had thrown a stone into a pond.
The shakiness to his voice was not missed. She could…feel something else there. A hesitation? A worry? It’s diluted, so so there was no way she could identify it; her hand placed on her chest as she felt her virtual heartbeat rise in time with his. She closes her eyes for a moment, mouth feeling as dry as cotton. If she cleared her mind enough, she was certain there would be virtually no difference between her body and his - she could already see through his eyes now that things had toned down. She took a few deep breaths before she spoke again, trying to not let her fear take over again.
“…right. You’re just like Osoro was, aren’t you?” she muttered, despite knowing full well that her meek voice would be crystal clear to Blues at the moment. Despite knowing that the more logical option would have been to leave well enough alone, she couldn’t help but continue to talk. Maybe it was a nervous habit - or maybe the silence would have just made her more uneasy.
“She was something…you could break her arm and she’d still keep fighting you with the other one. ‘I’m fine. I’m fine Yan-chan’ she’d say ‘I won’t let you die again. You can’t forget’” she felt pretty stupid, bringing it up now- her voice getting shaky as she knew she couldn’t begin to copy the tone “…I won’t press it, Blues. But it’s no use telling you I won’t worry. That’d just be a lie.”
She let her hand fall back down to her lap, taking another deep breath before she could let her emotions seep through to him in return. He didn’t deserve to share any of her struggles….of her regrets.
“Yeah…let’s focus on that. I won’t talk anymore. Sorry. ”
---- Once upon a time, Blues had been... happier. As Ayano spoke, those times loaded in his stored memory banks. Simpler, cheerier times... his first moments awake. God, it was flooding back... the way his fathe-... the way Dr. Light bolted up and wrapped him in a loving embrace, welcoming him to the world not as ‘DLN-000′, or ‘a prototype’, but as... ‘his boy’. Blues. A son. Only for Dr. Wily to immediately begin measuring him, prepping to give him... weapons. Subconsciously, he loaded the schematics for his Proto Buster, the mounted arm cannon that he could shift his... well, arm, into on a whim. Those schematics didn’t stay there for long though, before he quickly un-loaded them, realizing that Ayano could potentially see every single thing that flew by in his system. Every thought, every sight... every thing.
With that in mind, he tried not to think about those simpler times. Tried not to... think about how... Dr. Light gave him sunglasses when he discovered the sun hurt his optics. How, out of the kindness of the old man’s own heart, Blues was bought a brilliant yellow scarf, only because he saw it in the window of a nice little corner store selling fancy clothes, and quite liked the look of it. He tried, oh did he try, not to think about how many concerts the man took him to, and how Dr. Light’s own love of music inspired Blues’ name... and Blues’ own love of music in tandem. Perhaps that was a pre-programmed thing, but... Blues liked to think he happened upon a taste for the finer arts himself.
Without even thinking about it, his lips pursed, and the silence created by the end of their conversation was pierced by a soft, melodic whistle. Note flowed into harmonic note, as if the song being ‘sung’ was second nature to Blues, he knew it by... well, perhaps not ‘heart’, but... whatever was substituting for one beneath that cold, metal frame of his. Ayano had likely seen every little thought that popped into his processor, even when he was purposefully trying to avoid thinking about things of that nature. ... He was sad. There was no heart deep down there... it would be absurd to think that, right? After all, Proto Man was just a machine. DLN-000. ... But, he found himself, time and time again, asking... if he had no heart, then what was... broken?
... Nothing. ... Dr. Light could keep the replacements if he wanted. Just went to show how... disposable he was, as a machine. Didn’t it?
After a while, Blues reaches the top of a hill, looking down onto the bustling Mega City as the sun begins to set. His scarf gently flaps in the wind, and once fully at the top, he stops his whistle. They were about to head into town, so... it was probably best to drop the helmet for now. It made him stand out too much... it was better to look like a lost kid than a Robot Master nowadays... he didn’t want the extra attention. ... With the air now silent, and his helmet gone in a flash of red, digital light (transformed into data, ready to be summoned again at a moment’s notice), he sighs, beginning his trek downhill while finally speaking up, addressing Ayano once more.
---- “ We’re... almost down to the city, ” he begins, a noticeable slump, and limp to his walk. Alerts flared up in his system. He was overexerting himself again... too much time online, not enough ‘sleep’, not enough energy. Too much of this and his death would only come sooner, but... he’s been dying for years. It was nothing new. ... Didn’t mean it was any less... harrowing, to face your own mortality, but... it was nothing new. Blues would rather live how he wanted than lose himself trying to live forever.
“ You’ll be somewhere safer soon enough. ” Finishing up his sentence, he lightly clears his ‘throat’, and then makes one more addendum to it.
“ And... you don’t have to be... completely quiet, if you don’t want to. What you touched on earlier, it’s just... something i’d rather not think about. ”
