Museum Kids' Menu

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The “Monte-Christo & Jeanne-Claude" Sandwich Wrap

This wrapped sandwich is a revelation through concealment! Enjoy our savory “Monte Christo"— a fried ham and cheese, made with tasty Gruyére and tender ham — given a new identity by wrapping it in a tortilla! Each sandwich wrap is visualized by our chef through a series of preliminary sketches. Simply place your order at the museum cafe and pick up your drawings approximately 6 months later. If the sandwich proposal is approved by your local township, your Monte Christo will be ready in about two years! And be sure to keep your drawings as a memento of this legendary lunch, because nothing exists on this earth that is forever, not even the dinosaurs. On “Whole Wheat" tortilla or 
"Jeanne-Claude’s Flaming Red Sundried Tomato" tortilla ……….$12.50
 Preliminary visualization drawing of your sandwich…………………………$6,000

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The Spiral Cinnamon Jetty

You don't need to travel all the way to Utah to experience the temporal beauty of this sticky sweet spiral bakery item. Inspired by the earthwork "Spiral Jetty" by Robert Smithson, we've crafted a cinnamon bun that begs to be eaten and slowly deteriorated by the entropy of mastication. The icing levels on the bun vary with abundance, revealing the spiral at times, and submerging it during periods of normal icing precipitation. So yummy you'll feel the earth move under your feet!

Partially visible with icing......................$4.00

 Completely submerged in icing...........$5.00

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The Assemblage Salad

We’ve gathered an assortment of random food items from surrounding restaurants and “combined” them with mayonnaise into what we call our “ready-made” salad. These found objects are a plethora of everyday digestibles, lovingly tossed and placed on the bread of your choosing, or served as a platter. You’ll find anything and everything in this salad: apple pie, salmon, bacon, sweet & sour chicken, pop tart crumbs, green beans and BBQ chicken. By removing these banal foods from their “normal” societal gourmet use and reassigning them meaning in our museum salad, we believe we are offering a philosophical reflection on food-meaning for the consumer. We’re sure you’ll find it Dada-lectable!

Sandwich…………………$9.00

Platter……………….$12.00

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The “Still Life” Value Meal

Here’s one meal your kids will sit still for. You’ll feel like you’re eating your favorite 17th century Dutch still life painting by Abraham Hendrickz van Beijeren. This hearty spread comes with “the works” and it’s big enough for the whole family! Enjoy fresh lobster or rabbit, served with ripe figs and pomegranates. Or how about a whole swan, with a side of honeydew melon or mixed wildflowers? Each value meal comes with a plastic goblet and a real human skull, which are yours to keep.

Please specify Rabbit, Lobster, or Swan Value Meal ………………$85.00 (Substitute peacock meat for an additional $9.99)

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SPECIAL EVENTS

Beginner's Painting Workshop Ages 6 - 12 Instructor: Chatham Dowdy

Introduce yourself to the exciting world of painting as you explore basic skills and techniques. We will be painting the museum's conference room "Warm White." Please bring a 5-inch paint brush and some clothes you don't mind getting dirty. Thanks!

materials fee: $15

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Piss Christ Lemonade..................$3.00

You'll be "pissed" off if you don't try this summer only menu offering, our fresh squeezed lemonade. And yes, that is a small dissolving jesus figurine made from compressed granulated sugar....god, that's sweet lemonade! You'll be drinking this lemonade faster than the N.E.A. can take away funding!

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The Bossy Burger Parents: please be advised that the following menu item may not be appropriate for children under 13.

Inspired by a 1991 performance by legendary artist Paul McCarthy, this is one burger experience that will have your child running… back for more!

Donned in a rubber Alfred E. Neuman mask and covered in ketchup, our very own chef will present the Bossy Burger to your child, and then dump mayonnaise and hand cream all over your whole family! This whimsical performance gets you in on the act, making it perfect for birthdays and parties. It's a meal you'll never forget, no matter what you do! Raw Bossy Burger………….$9.00 Cooked Bossy Burger……...$12.00

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The Sloppy Jackson

These sloppy joes are inspired by Jackson Pollock and come open faced and extra drippy! You'll be just like Jackson, drunk.... with delight at the 3 bean blend used in our chili. This messy sandwich will have a total collapse and utterly fall apart as you enjoy it. Check out your spattered plate when you finish eating, who knew you were so talented?!

Regular.............................$12

Hot Tempered (spicy)..........$13

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The "Robert Ryman" Egg Salad Sandwich For this open-faced sandwich creation, we've used three (3) different shades of egg whites and juxtaposed smooth, delicate surfaces alongside heavier textures, building up multiple layers of egg salad to create a rich, atmospheric effect.

The egg salad is used instrumentally and for itself; but "eggness" as such is not the sandwich's subject or essence. In our chef's own words, "I don't think of myself as making egg salad sandwiches. I make sandwiches; I'm a sandwich maker. Egg salad is my medium." Served on wheat or 5 grain bread...........$14.00 Add one (1) drop of ketchup....................$3.00

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    Go Nuts for a Bowl of "Yayoi-Os":

You'll be seeing spots when you try this museum cereal inspired by the artist Yayoi Kusama. And just 'cause she was nuts, doesn't mean your cereal can't be! Order your bowl with fresh walnuts glazed in maple butter. Not crazy enough? Go totally bananas when you try them with delicious farmers market freshly sliced organic bananas! 

Plain..............................................$9.00

Nuts...............................................$10.00

Nuts and Totally Bananas..............$11.00