Musings4Maya

Kristen and Rob? They are fine. Really. It's going to be OK

[musings4maya]

Beach life

Dear Maya

It’s already February. January went by quickly but how nice we were able to take a short holiday to the beach.  

It’s nice to get away from the chilly weather!   It was so lovely.  Cold beaches are the worst!

No one wants to be around that.   I prefer the sun and the sand and a mojito or two…..

Our beautiful girl has been busy doing all kinds of projects so we haven’t seen much of her but we saw just enough of her handsome man to know that he enjoys sunny beaches too……………..oooh la la. 

K: blowing up Twitter.  again.  Nice.

R: you saw?   

K:  Fuck yeah. Very sexy dude. Are you auditioning for  Bay Watch?

R: I like to watch my bae. Does that count?

K:  your twitter buddies noticed your ripped body

R: only ripping I want to do are your clothes off your body

K: I’m up for that

R:   I wasn’t even smiling. Maybe once.

K:  I noticed.  Your resting beach face.  They love to talk about my resting BEACH face. WHATEVER

R:  I have seen enough bitches on the beach

K:  that you have…………………………………but dude!  weather was good

R: no one likes a shady beach

K:  WORD

R:  I’m surprised they didn’t photoshop a bunch of “mystery women” on the beach

K:  aren’t you done with photoshopped beach pictures?

R:  and photoshopped bitch pictures too.  Aren’t we both? 

K: You always know what to say

R: You always know what to listen to and what to ignore.   I love you for that.

K: Just for that?

R:  no, I love you for other things too……….shall I list them?

K: why don’t you wait and show me

R: I do every day.  

K: that you do.  I love you for that

R:  just that?

K:  Ok. I love you for your ripped body

R:  Do you know what my ripped body can do?

K:  SO.MUCH.

R:  I love you

K: I love you more

So sweet Maya

Several new movies to look forward to, perhaps a film festival. Photoshoots, and always a surprise thrown in.  That’s what makes it fun. We never know what to expect.  That’s just the way they want it.  It’s going to be OK. 

Feb 2018

[musings4maya]

Beach life Dear Maya It's already February. January went by quickly but how nice we were able to take a short holiday to the beach.   It's nice to get away from the chilly weather!   It was so lovely.  Cold beaches are the worst! No one wants to be around that.   I prefer the sun and the sand and a mojito or two..... Our beautiful girl has been busy doing all kinds of projects so we haven't seen much of her but we saw just enough of her handsome man to know that he enjoys sunny beaches too.................oooh la la.  K: blowing up Twitter.  again.  Nice. R: you saw?    K:  Fuck yeah. Very sexy dude. Are you auditioning for  Bay Watch? R: I like to watch my bae. Does that count? K:  your twitter buddies noticed your ripped body R: only ripping I want to do are your clothes off your body K: I'm up for that R:   I wasn't even smiling. Maybe once. K:  I noticed.  Your resting beach face.  They love to talk about my resting BEACH face. WHATEVER R:  I have seen enough bitches on the beach K:  that you have.......................................but dude!  weather was good R: no one likes a shady beach K:  WORD R:  I'm surprised they didn't photoshop a bunch of "mystery women" on the beach K:  aren't you done with photoshopped beach pictures? R:  and photoshopped bitch pictures too.  Aren't we both?  K: You always know what to say R: You always know what to listen to and what to ignore.   I love you for that. K: Just for that? R:  no, I love you for other things too..........shall I list them? K: why don't you wait and show me R: I do every day.   K: that you do.  I love you for that R:  just that? K:  Ok. I love you for your ripped body R:  Do you know what my ripped body can do? K:  SO.MUCH. R:  I love you K: I love you more So sweet Maya Several new movies to look forward to, perhaps a film festival. Photoshoots, and always a surprise thrown in.  That's what makes it fun. We never know what to expect.  That's just the way they want it.  It's going to be OK.  Feb 2018

[musings4maya]

Love Story Dear Maya Merry Christmas! We are with the princess and having so much fun! We went to see Santa (again) and to ride the carousel tonight. Her favorite ride is the unicorn with the pink ribbons, She is getting a carousel music box. There is something magical about carousels. I don't think we ever outgrow them. She told Santa she wanted a dollhouse and "more books please" because she loves stories. We never outgrow wonderful stories.........especially love stories. They are their own kind of magic. K: I love hearing you read "The Night Before Christmas" in your British accent. It's so fucking sexy R: I never get tired of reading that story but you know what my favorite story is? K: Does it begin with "In a galaxy far far away?" R: ooooh. I do like that one but that's not it K: so what is it? R: ours K: our what? R: our story K: the story of us? R: that's the one. It's my favorite. You want to know why? K: let me guess. Because it's a love story? R: you're one sharp cookie K: you better go eat the cookies she made for Santa before the dogs get them R: If I dress up like Santa will you sit on my lap so I can tell you a story? K: are you serious? R: is that a yes? K what kind of story? R: I dunno........sit on my lap & let's see what pops up K. ??? wait SHUT UP. Are you trying to get on the naughty list? R: If I'm lucky! And you better not pout I'm telling you why K: lemme guess...........Santa Claus is coming? R: Hopefully K: omg. Can we ever have a conversation that is not about sex? R: not on my watch K: pfffffffffffttttt ok. Meet me under the mistletoe? R: lucky for you I have it hung all over the house K: Yeeeessssss I am so fucking lucky. Merry Christmas Santa. I love you R: Merry Christmas Mrs. Claus. I love you more So sweet Maya 'Tis the season of whispered wishes and mysterious smiles and eyes twinkling. And magic. Santa's on his way. It's going to be OK. Dec.2017

[musings4maya]

Falling for green Dear Maya, I love this time of year. It's November & the leaves are changing colors. Many leaves and old limbs have dropped and withered away but our beautiful old oak tree is still full of emerald green foliage. The oak tree represents strength, endurance & faithfulness. True, that green is jealousy & evil for those who generate bad karma but green represents renewal & energy for those with good intent. Did you see our gorgeous girl's handsome man wearing green? I'm pretty sure every time he looks into her emerald eyes he finds himself falling for green too. K: Hail to the king of twitter R: coming from the queen I take that as a compliment K: Whoa. I am sure as FUCK not the queen of twitter but you sire, do rule R: if you are bestowing this title on me based on the last few days of twitter flattery, I humbly thank you milady. I still believe you hold the title of highest twitter royalty. K: whatever dude! You know how I feel,. Screw twitter. I am so fucking proud of you tho. I love seeing you have a good time over Good Time. ABOUT.FUCKING.TIME too R: Thanks love. It WAS a good time. Really lovely people there in Savannah K: hey you looked hot in green R: you liked my sweater? it reminded me of your eyes K: you're a sentimental dork. Twitter calling it a "Dad sweater." LMAO R: Dad sweater? Then guilty as charged ....Dad? check. Sweater? check..... Besides......you had my favorite jacket. K: puhleeze. You have dozens of jackets. R: but you steal my green one K: but you have others R: but it's green like your eyes and it smells like you K: pffffffffft. and I wear it cuz it smells like you R and then I take it back and wear it cuz it smells like you again K: like I said............sentimental much? R: I thought you loved that about me. K: I do. I do. I am just SO so stoked all that shit is behind you & that you are blowing up twitter. R: wait. what ? You hate twitter but you like it when I blow up twitter? K: yeah OK I still hate fucking twitter like totally. BUT I love seeing you get the recognition for important things like your work. Which means you blow up twitter. UGH I fucking hated these last few years of shit where your work took a backseat & you blew up twitter for the wrong reasons R: you were always there for me. That was the only thing that made it bearable K: but now there's Deauville, more Dior, all the new magazine covers. You're free dude! Now it's time to get the accolades you SO deserve R: honey you're making me blush K: thanks for the shout out in Savannah too R: shout out? K: don't be coy dude. All about me. I heard it R: what? I don't talk about my personal life. You know that K: you said and I quote: "Hopefully I'll be able to keep doing something that I love" R: yes. And? K: well. I know what you love doing! We did it last night. And again this morning. That was totally a shout out to me R: I was talking about my work K: yeah..................right...................... R: I do believe you have developed a one track mind K: learned from the best R: You told me that extra hour we got last night was for "doing what I love" K: and.................. Did you take advantage of that extra hour? R: yes. and then some K: so are you complaining? R: never K: just checking. R:how could I have endured all of the shit in the past 3 years without you? K: you'll never know will you? R: because you were always there watching out for me K: where else would I be? R: I like that we get to write the ending to our movie. Good Time - our own version K: now our life is a movie? Um no. R: the best kind. A love story K: which is not ending dude. R: I didn't mean it was ending. I meant we get to write it the way we want K: haven't we already been doing that? R: must you always have the last word? I thought you wanted this to be my time? My turn to direct the show remember? K: I love when you direct . Did you see me complaining last night or this morning? R: never K: Then that's a wrap. R: I can't argue with that. I love you K: I can't argue with that. I love you more So sweet Maya, Summer was so hot. The cooler fall temperatures feel delightful and refreshing. Little by little fall whispers that good things are on the way. It's the season to give thanks. It's the season of hope. It's going to be OK.

[musings4maya]

Tickled Pink Dear Maya Pink is not exactly an autumn shade for a fall magazine but our girl's handsome man made up his own rules! Rather brave of him. I wasn't quite sure what to think. I admire the creative aspect but I prefer the Dior campaign. Beautifully styled. Timeless. And speaking of beautiful and timeless - I got a bottle of Gabrielle last week. Early birthday. It smells really lovely. R: hey gorgeous K: Hey I was thinking about you. I'm eating lunch. R: What are you eating that made you think of me? K: In & Out. So.Fucking.Good. R: that's not fair. Burgers here just aren't the same. I need a burger. Or five. K: seriously you're going to eat 5 burgers? I thought you were into hotdogs now R: I've had a brat or two but sometimes you just need a burger. I'm hungry. Been filming all day. I would never make it as an astronaut having to eat space food. K: Sorry dude. I don't think they have burgers in space R: When I get home we're going to In&Out K: deal. Since you "need a burger or 5" R: hey did she get my package from Amazon? K: yeah. You are so fucking hilarious. Pinkalicuous?? Nice. YOU are Mr Pinkalicuous R: I wanted to send something about pink. You said the Wonderland cover confused her. K: it did. She wanted to know if you were wearing my skirt since she knows I was wearing your pants R: and my shoes. And my jacket. Is that all she said? K:She asked me if you were dressed for Halloween. I quote "Daddy pink hair is scary". Guess we need Pinkalicuous Halloween book R: OOOH. That bad? K: dude. No words. R: show her the Dior K: I did. She said she liked that better R: Twitter was posting them K: you know what I think about Twitter R: I can't help it. I have to peek now & then K: they were probably all over Wonderland R: I'll tell you what Wonderland I'd like to be all over K: ???? R: you. Your body is a wonderland K: mmmmm Ok. You want to use your hands? R: you have to ask? K: just making sure. Great song btw R: I heard a new song. Versace On The Floor. You wore Versace to an Eclipse premiere K: you remember that? R: Of course K: I'm pretty sure Versace ended up on the floor R: now it's Chanel on the floor K: How about Dior on the floor R: are you saying you want to do it on the floor? K: Not like we haven't already R: You naked on the floor. My wonderland K : Hate to fuck up your fantasy but I'm not naked R: you wearing my jeans again? K: maybe......and if I am it's cuz I miss you so fucking much. AND sharing is caring. Right? R: honey, they're too big. Two of you could fit it that waist K: yeah guess I need a burger. They're so big sometimes they fall to the floor. There's a new song for you. "jeans on the floor and I'm naked" R: and you're pinkalicuous too. In all the right places K: OMG STFU R: see you in a couple of days K: totally up for a game of hide & seek R: we'll be "busy" so won't be hard to hide K: I like your kind of "busy". I miss you. I love you dude R: yeah I miss you my beautiful girl. I love you more So sweet Maya Hard to believe it's almost Octoberl. I actually ordered Pinkalicuous Trick or Treat for the princess. She's going to be a storybook character. It's fun to dress up and be silly. What matters is knowing that the person underneath the costume is still the same person that you know and love. It's going to be OK.

[musings4maya]

Food for thought..........sometimes coincidence is a plan in disguise.... Dear Maya WOW! Our girl looks like a goddess in the new photo shoot! What a treat to see her in Coco's abode. She mentioned serving dinner and I do wonder what she would cook, Maybe her pasta or even a grilled cheese. I had one with Brie and cheddar yesterday that was delicious but hard to beat a croque monsieur in Paris! Meanwhile her handsome man is having a GREAT TIME with Good Time in NYC (one of my fav places you know). Hard to beat a New York hot dog! (hold the mustard for me though) R: I miss you K: You just saw us R: so I can't miss you? K: Miss you more R: It was amazing. No one even knew you were there. K: you and your affinity for disguises R: they served us well. We had a good time K: a GREAT time! You know she hasn't put that doll down R: it was a great time except that you stopped me from buying more K: DUDE. You can't buy her everything in that store! I thought the whole point was not to draw attention to ourselves. If I let you buy all the shit you wanted they would ask for some kind of ID. You can't just pay in wads of cash like you just robbed a bank R: you said I made a good robber K: I said rad robber R: that was a rad ice cream sundae K: still can't believe she ate the whole thing R: still can't believe they didn't have grilled cheese. That's her favorite but your grilled cheese is the best. They make me melt K: you are such a dork! You make ME melt R: she ate the pigs in a blanket because you told her they were mini hot dogs. And....... I have a hot dog for you K: um. That's hardly a mini hot dog R: can you eat the whole thing? K: omg stfu R: thanks for being there K: you think I would have missed it? I'm so proud of you R: you know I love you more than hot dogs? K: speaking of..........your twitter groupies were salivating over your hot dog short R: I told you honey. There is nothing short about my hot dog K: stop reminding me how much I miss you R: you have a Twitter acct now? K: FUCK NO. But apparently you do........... Or was that just a "rumor" R: who comes up with some of that shit? K: dude. You tell so many stories nobody knows what's real R: that's the point isn't it? let the stories be told. They can say what they want K: chaos. confusion. disguises. Let the good times roll! Got it R: you've always had it honey K: you have too R: by the way Happy Anniversary K: ???? R: it's on Twitter so it must be true K: WTF are you talking about R: today is Bella and Edward's anniversary K: oh shit. Sorry dude. How could I forget. R: you wanna play honeymoon? K: yeah. you wanna nibble my neck? R: I wanna make you melt. Sounds kinda cheesy K: I happen to have a thing for cheesy and yeah you always do. I love you R: yeah. I love you more So sweet Maya Here's a great song by The Cars. Have you ever heard it? Love the lyrics. Let The Good Times Roll. It's going to be OK. https://youtu.be/8QfwyqjENnA Aug 2017

[musings4maya]

Game of Trolls Dear Maya, I have missed you! It has been a very busy summer. I could tell you all kinds of stories! Speaking of stories.......The princess is very into make believe. She loves to dress up and become different characters. It is quite entertaining! Our beautiful girl is certainly playing an interesting character in her upcoming movie. She has really been studying for this role and I can't wait to see what she shows us. Her handsome man is certainly a one man show. Ha! No one can weave a tale quite like Mr. Dior. R: so honey, what did you think of my interview? K: LMAO. You mean Game of Trolls? R: Trolls............I can't help it. Every fucking day! I think I know all of the words to all of the songs by heart. K: dude. You bought it for her R: but I didn't know I would be watching it 100 times K: Dude. Don't throw shade on Trolls. It's adorable. And 100 times? I think that's a bit of an exaggeration. R: me? Exaggerate? Never K: you are the trolliest R: that's not a word. you made that up K: OMG! Talk about making shit up. YOU. DUDE. I bow down to you. Master of Trolldom R: I love lying K: you love lying? Didn't you read Pinocchio to someone the other night? R: Honey. Seriously. When people ask me shit I am going to give shit back K: it's an art form which you have perfected R: not everything I said was a lie K: no one knows what the fuck you said! you sent your twitter buddies over the edge R: then my life is now complete K: it is kinda funny R: kinda? K: kinda totally R: honey it's either kinda OR totally. You can't be kinda totally K: well you WERE kinda shady R: oh that wasn't just kinda. That was totally. K: Shade master. Master shader. Hey what does that rhyme with? R: you had to bring that up? K: wtf dude. You were the one talking about your dick R: I thought you were kinda fond of my dick K: I'm totally fond of it R: You know in Trolls how they yell "hug time". How about it? K: that's it? Just hugging? R: well...............I have read some pretty kinky things K: besides Pinocchio? You know when he lies his nose grows R: I bet you can make me grow K: is that a challenge? I accept R: you're some kinda wonderful you know that? K: awwwww I love that song R: then I shall sing it for you K: I kinda love you R: wait what? Only kinda? K: ok. totally. I totally love you R: yeah? I totally love you more So sweet Maya I hope you enjoy the rest of the summer! I adore the sunshine and it has been quite hot here but every once in a while you can find a bit of shade and being in the shade can be all kinda fun! It's going to be OK.

[musings4maya]

[musings4maya]

Be loyal. Be smart. Show your true colors Dear Maya Time for Cannes! Can you believe it? Our favorite girl finally going as a director. I'm so proud of her! Unpretentious as always, she is honored just to be there. Looking forward to Good Times too! R: honey are you packing? are you excited for Cannes? K: fuck yeah I'm excited! packing. done. One suitcase since I wear your stuff anyway. I'm catching up on some interesting reading R: what about? K:......dude...... You've been trending on your infamous news source. Lmao R: Damn it what now. Don't tell me. Fuck Twitter you're the one always telling me to stay away. Why are you looking at that shit? K: Your news source is fucking hilarious. This takes the cake. Who let the dogs out anyway? R: honey I don't know a damn thing about my life until I see it on Twitter. Only dogs I care about are ours. I have no use for any other dogs K: WTF was that waving your arms? I'm going to start calling you Flippy again, R: very funny K: it's very entertaining. R: entertaining for you! I'm tired of being nice K: but dude! You're soooooo good at it R: do you know how difficult it is to pretend to be nice? K: Good Times dude! You can pretend anything. That's the awesome thing about being actors. Your real life belongs to you. The rest is acting R: knowing who's real and who's fake? THAT is obvious. K: Seeing people's true colors dude. No matter how much they try to cover it up they're still the same underneath the paint and you can't repaint them R: that's why I try to stay the bloody hell away K: people reap what they sow dude so stay away from the bad seeds R: bad seeds produce nothing but shit K: you gotta be with those who feed the soil and aren't just there to steal the fruit R: wow. Did you just make that up? K: nope but it's kinda perfect. R: you're kinda perfect. I see your true colors shining thru K: wow. Did you just make that up? R: No but it's kinda perfect K: you're kinda perfect. We're a good team dude doing what we want and people don't need to know what's none of their fucking business R: Not telling people things is a good thing K: fuck yeah. True colors dude. Maybe I'll dye my hair pink R: more pink? I am surrounded by pink K: hey that's our happy color R: that's all I want. You to be happy. And a little naked K: ........ only a little? Your true colors are that one track mind of yours R: starting with those gorgeous green eyes I see your true colors and that's why I love you K: I see your true colors starting with those sexy blue eyes and I love you more So sweet Maya, Cannes is magical and full of beautiful colors. I know two stars who will be shining! There are still many stories to be written. Good Times in Cannes. It's going to be OK #Rob Kristen #RK stories April 2017

[musings4maya]

Oh but that butt..... Dear Maya, I haven't written to you in a while BUT I have been really busy! Birthday girl is 27! What an amazing career she has had and so much more to come. I can't keep up with the magazines and beautiful photo shoots and latest Chanel and new films! Busy girl! But her leading man has been been busy too promoting his new film & his Dior ads are swoon worthy. K: Butt massage? Lmao R: I know a butt I'd like to massage but.... K: but what? R: massaging that butt always leads to other things..... K: Hmmmm but what kinds of things R: I'd rather show you. I like showing your butt things K: but you didn't like the photos showing my butt R: Are you fucking kidding? I loved them but K: But? R: I don't like sharing that butt with the world K: the butt is yours dude. Shut up R: that was some birthday honey K: the best R: you say that every year K: every year is the best. Any birthday spent with you is the best but R: but? K: Not just my birthday. Every day R: you are amazing you know K: YOU are amazing R: but look at all you've done yet you are humble and never full of yourself. People talk shit about you which pisses the bloody hell out of me K: Honey ignore it. I focus on my own shit. I don't worry about what other people are doing. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ok? R: that's why you're queen. You win because you focus on what matters. Winners focus on winning. Losers focus on winners K: the losers can focus on me all they want. I've worked fucking hard to get where I am. Maybe they'll learn something like "work hard, be authentic, don't make a spectacle" R: you do have a way with words, You don't make a spectacle but you do have a spectacular butt K: I wanna have my way with you and your spectacular butt R: can I get a butt massage K: you drive a hard bargain dude R: yes. Hard. I do. I am. Already. Happy birthday beautiful. I love you K: I love you more So sweet Maya, People work hard but others don't. In the end true success comes to those who have earned it. There's no buts about that. It's going to be OK Aoril 2017

[musings4maya]

Straight up now tell me Dear Maya Happy Day After Valentines Day! I'll be straight with you - this is one of my favorite days of the year. All the chocolate is half price. It doesn't get much better! How about our favorite girl on SNL a couple of weeks ago? OMG she was too much! I love how she puts people in their place. She looked hot as always! (no, I'm not gay but I still think she's hot.) Her handsome man sure makes my temperature rise too (that's the straight truth) K: dude. Your Valentine bromance in Berlin is blowing up twitter. #notmypresident is going to be one jealous fucker. I think he's in love with you R: It's time everyone knows the truth K: alternative facts? R: I am soooooooooooooooo gay K: STFU! After SNL the whole world knows how gay I am & now you toooooooooo. Just whoa dude R: well.......you saw the hand holding........it can only mean one thing K: I actually totally love that you and I are both gay. Whew. No more secrets R: maybe people will leave us alone to go about our gayness K: wishful thinking R: mmmmm know what I'm thinking? K: thinking about that Valentine I left on your pillow? R: picturing you licking the envelope sure as fuck makes me straight K: wait what?? you're straight now? R: I am. Straight up. Damn straight. K: STFU! me tooooooooooooooooo R: Isn't it amazing how in sync we are? I'm gay, you're gay then I'm straight and you're straight K: Can't even wrap my head around it....... back to Valentines......I loved mine. Sooooo much. Thanks dude R: you liked that did you? K: how could I not? You picked it out R: I do have excellent taste. I picked you K: awwwww! R: your smile this morning was thanks enough K: I' ll be sure to show you my appreciation again later. :) so your fav gift is a "trade secret" huh? Is "trade secret" a code phrase? R: yes. It's a code for NONE OF THEIR FUCKING BUSINESS K: like your secret twitter addiction???? R: I am NOT addicted to Twitter! I don't tweet. I lurk. It's not the same thing . K: twitter is full of shit R: people who tweet solely for attention are full of shit. K: some people need to be straightened out R: some people are too twisted K: word R: truth K: no alternative facts R: just giving it to you straight up K: yes please R: ? K: yes please give it to me straight up. R: Is that code for something? K: do I need to show you? R: I love when you show me K: that's why I'm pretty sure you're not gay. Despite the hand holding R: You got me. I'm not gay. So you wanna hold my hand? K: I totally rock at hand holding R: you rock at something even better K: I love the way you make me rock. But. I still love holding your hand R: you hold my heart too K: you hold mine dude. Always have. I straight up love you R: I straight up love you more So sweet Maya There are some seriously twisted people in this world and there will always be snakes we have to watch out for but goodness will ultimately prevail. Love trumps hate. It's going to be OK.

[musings4maya]

Just keep swimming Dear Maya, Come Swim premier at Sundance AND now going to Cannes! I loved the interviews from Sundance because she is so genuine. Nothing fake about her. She stands up (and marches!) for what she believes in. R: honey you're blowing up Twitter K: what now? And get off of fucking Twitter R: Sundance. Marching. Your clothes K: You mean your clothes R: my clothes have become your clothes. I have to wear multiple layers so you can't take them K: shut up. You said "wear this" R: I may have suggested it K: Suggested my ass. You said "Just do it". LMAO R: That's because you slay doing it. K: SLAY? that's one of your twitter words R: honey you can wear my clothes or designer clothes and look gorgeous. Some people can't do it. Their slogan should be JUST DON'T K: so I look good in your clothes and Chanel? Pretty big contrast dude R: mine ARE big on you. They notice K: not even asking who "they" are R: what matters is what's under the clothes. No pants are my favorite pants K: you and your dirty mind R: it's not a dirty mind. It's a sexy imagination K: you have a pretty fucking amazing imagination R: You have a pretty fucking amazing imagination too. Come Swim was genius. You imagined that. You've been talking about it for years and now it's out there K: dude. I'm so pumped people like it R: of course they like it. I don't know why you were so nervous. Remember what I told you? K: yep. You said "just keep swimming" R: And you did. I loved your mention of Nemo K: omg how many times have we watched that fucking movie? R: you're my Nemo K: you mean Dory. R: Dory, Nemo who the fuck cares as long as you're the one I'm swimming with K: I have a slogan for you. R: just keep swimming? K: How about "just do me" R: That's my favorite slogan K: hey Nemo have I ever told you I love you? R: Hey Dory have I ever told you I love you more? So sweet Maya Next week there will be a big change in my life! I'm a little bit nervous but even if we're not sure about something we know to just keep swimming. It's going to be OK. #robkristen #kristensundance2017

[musings4maya]

Hot Stuff Dear Maya It's December and I love all the surprises that come with this season.This latest surprise from our favorite girl is simply wow and whoa perfection. Elvis may sing about a Blue Christmas but she takes blue to another level in this video and there's nothing sad about it! More like "Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree because no one rocks it like she does. R: honey are you trying to break twitter? K: not a bad idea R: No really. I'm serious K: No really. Breaking twitter sounds rad. I'm serious R: they're going crazy over your video and now the new Chanel spread. You are single handedly fucking breaking twitter and I love it when you're trending K: trending? Stfu with the twitter talk. just get O U T of there R: I can't quit watching or looking at the photos. Wild horses couldn't keep me away K: LOL quoting Stones to me? R: Nobody rides a mustang like you. That was some joyride K: a fucking amazing joyride R: I know what's a joy to ride K: oh really? hmmmmm sounds like a man of taste R: I'm a man of wealth and taste K: that you are. Stones again? Sympathy for the devil R: I have no sympathy for the "devil" K: word R: you can't always get what you want K: they may try sometimes but they never will R: exactly. That's why we made the popcorn ornament for you K: what? Love it because of the little hands that made it but if it's supposed to mean something then I missed it R: honey if you read twitter you'd know about the popcorn K: I'm not reading twitter to see what crazy people do with popcorn & don't think I want to know R: you would think it was funny K: doubtful R: when some fuckwit posts ridiculous photoshopped pictures of me or you then someone will say "get the popcorn" K: for what? R: to sit back and watch the drama unfold K: bwhaaaaaaa ok I get it. Now I really love that popcorn ornament R: what about the reindeer frames we made? K: you're getting really crafty dude, Can't wait to see what else you come up with R: Twitter isn't my only vice. I've discovered Pinterest too. That's my source for all craftiness K: LOL glad you're getting to spend all this time with them before you start filming R: Sometimes you do get what you want. I have everything I want and everything I need right here. Except for one thing K: oh yeah? what's that? R: I've been holding out so long, I've been sleeping all alone. Lord I miss you K: I just saw you but I miss you too!!!! great song BTW R: there ain't a woman that comes close to you K: awww. thanks honey. You know I can quote Stones too dude R: let's hear it K: all I want is for you to make love to me R: hot stuff hot stuff can't get enough K: you'll get some soon R: I just keep watching the video and picturing you dancing without clothes on K: can't stop thinking about that blue tongue can ya? R: she comes in colors ev'rywhere.........she's like a rainbow............. K: I had no idea you knew so many Stones lyrics R: you know you have a magical tongue K: I don't know that Stones song. R: that's MY song about you. My lady of the magic tongue. K: hahahah shut up. Yours is magic too dude. I love you so much R: you have no idea luv just how much I love you more So sweet Maya, That's what makes the holidays special - just having a ball and enjoying the ones you're with. It's going to be OK.

[musings4maya]

Treat that Trick Dear Maya November already! I have my fall candles burning. One smells like pumpkin pecan waffles and another like spiced apples but my favorite is leather and vanilla. It was a Halloween treat from my husband. He said it was better than giving me candy (I did trick him and hide some candy from the stash we had for the goblins and super heroes and princesses who came to our door!) I love those wonderful smells of autumn - especially the crisp evenings. We rent a house near Marfa and spend a few days out there every October. At night we light fires in the chiminea and the air fills with pinion smoke. That smell always reminds me of West TX. I believe certain smells stir up memories. The smell of bacon and coffee reminds me of childhood. That smell would waft across the sleeping porch of our family's summer house up on the river. It makes me hungry just thinking about it. Paris has a certain smell. It's hard to describe but it's a mixture of tobacco and fresh croissants and old buildings! Our favorite girl is in Paris right now! She's back to being a brunette. That's my favorite look even though she is beautiful no matter what! R: hey gorgeous. Trick or treat K: Halloween's over dude R: Try explaining that to someone who insists on wearing her piglet costume for the 3rd day in a row! K: but she looks sooooo fucking adorable. And she loved matching her fav uncle R: true but I doubt he is still walking around like some wanna be bacon K: HAHA wanna be bacon? I seriously doubt pigs walk around thinking "man I can't wait to be bacon" R: But being bacon is the best! I think there may be pigs who wanna be bacon but they just roll around in mud and are never chosen K: just cuz they wanna be doesn't mean they will be. Not every pig is good enough for bacon. R: No room for mediocre in the prime bacon business. I do love your bacon. You make the best K: Dude! you can eat a whole pound of bacon. It's really not good for you R: You're good for me. I can eat you instead K: STFU! R: You're gorgeous K: You're biased R: Knock knock K: this again? R: just play along. Knock knock K: ugh. WHO'S THERE? R: bacon K: bacon who? R: you're bacon me hard K: LOL!!! you're bacon me crazy R: I love you more than bacon K: really? R: really K: that's a lot R: you bet your fine ass it is. And you smell good too K: are you saying I smell like bacon? R: no. you smell like you K: and what do I smell like? R: you smell like home. You smell like love. K: awwwwwwwwwwwww. You smell like love too. That's why I like wearing your clothes R: you're bacon me harder K: then come upstairs and I'll see what I can do about it. That is................if you have "permission" LOLZZZZZ sorry. #Not sorry! R: I am so fucking tired of this. It never ends. K: how 'bout I give you permission to have your way with me. That better? R: You're just like bacon. You make everything better K: hey. I love you. R: hey. I love you more So sweet Maya All this is making me hungry. I think I'll go find a treat. Tricksters never win no matter how hard they try. But success is the ultimate treat for those who work hard. Hard work deserves recognition. Success is like bacon- it's the very best. It's going to be OK

[musings4maya]

Jungle love Dear Maya The credits have rolled and the votes are in - our favorite girl was undoubtedly the darling of the NYFF! Even though it's sometimes a jungle out there she reigned as queen and how perfect it was to see her handsome man there too! I loved hearing him talk about Lost City of Z & having been to the Amazon myself, let me assure you - it CAN be beastly but this is one story I can't wait to see! Speaking of beasts............ I watched Beauty and the Beast 3 times in less than 48 hours with the Princess this weekend. Who knew a "not quite two year old" could be so enamoured with one movie?? While I was watching dancing forks my friend Helen got to see not only all of our favorite girl's new films but her handsome man's too! Best of all she got to speak to him and when she told him she liked his hat he gave her a little smirk and she took a great photo. I was a wee bit jealous but so excited for her! Next weekend I hope I can talk the Princess into another movie. I tried to get her to watch Lion King & told her Simba was a friendly beast too but she would have none of that. (Always thought Hakuna Matata was a catchy tune - kind of the PG version of "I don't give a fuck") K: you're all over Twitter dude R: and you would know this how? K: a little squirrel told me R: oh for fuck's sake you're not going to let me live that down are you? K: are you kidding? LMAO. Love me some jungle squirrel R: I know you like a little scruff but you hated that beard K: it was a bit much. More like a lion than a squirrel R: you do bring out the beast in me K: mmmmmm I love making you roar R: you made the crowds roar this weekend honey. They couldn't get enough. I was so proud of you K: no more proud than I was of you! I love seeing you on the big screen dude. Especially when you look so jungleISH R: I told you people wouldn't recognize me and that's not a real word K: do you like "squirrely" better? :) R: are you teasing the king of the jungle? K: does the king of the jungle want to be teased? R: you know one of my favorite quotes is from Rudyard Kipling? K: The Jungle Book? what does this have to do with teasing? R: "a brave heart and a courteous tongue. They shall carry thee far through the jungle" K: ..............................and? R: and.............you like being teased by that courteous tongue. In the jungle. K: O M G R: that's it? K: I'm speechless R: I'm waiting K. ok....um ......you do have a courteous tongue..........so.....very.... courteous.......just OMG ....so. very, fucking. courteous. Better? R: king of the jungle right? Not a fucking squirrel. K: LMAO. yeah OK. You're my beast R: you're the Beauty to my Beast K: omg I'm hiding that fucking movie. I know it's so damn cute to hear a toddler say BONJOUR but I am gonna fucking scream if I have to see it again. And don't say Snow White either. No Hi and no fucking HO R: Sleeping Beauty? Cinderella? We've already bought all that Princess shit for Halloween K: I know even though I was thinking maybe little squirrels would be so cute R: UGH. Enough! What am I going to do with you????? K: I dunno but maybe your courteous tongue could think something up R: I'll show you something up K; ooooooooooh I love your standing ovation R: oh yeah? Well I love your encores K: well your HIGHNESS, since we're here in the wilderness of NYC without kids - there will be no intermissions. The lion does not sleep tonight in this jungle! R: that deserves a bow my queen but have I told you lately that I love you? K: yeah my squirrely beast but I love you more So sweet Maya October is officially half way over but what an amazing month it has already been! Another magazine cover and now another night shoot in Paris! That's no trick - just another delightful treat coming our way. It's going to be OK.

[musings4maya]

Dear Maya Autumn in NYC! One of my favorite times of year to be there. All of the leaves are changing. Did you see the gorgeous fall colors on our favorite girl? An orange jacket - the stunning burgundy suit. You know the saying in the south that you can't wear white after Labor Day? I say rubbish! I want that white blouse she wore yesterday! R; knock knock K: what? R: knock knock K: knock the fuck what? R: knock knock. Now say "who's there" K: omg. Fine. Who's there? R: orange K: ???? R: say orange K: ORANGE. happy now? R: orange you glad we're here? K what? R: say it out loud and you'll get it K: .............bwhaaaaaaaa. you are such a dork R: I heard some kids in the park say it. So orange you? K: you have been reading waaaay too many color books R: I've been seeing red and feeling blue K: what color are you now? R: looking around here I would have to say pink K: yeah heard you couldn't find any pink leaves in the park R: no. Mostly "wed weefs and bwowen weefs and wehwhoa weefs but no pink weefs" A few gween weefs K: I always wondered how the fuck you spelled those. Wehwhoa? LMAO. So precious R: It's phonectic. BTW they're talking about you on Twitter K: just ................... WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING ON TWITTER. Are you a masochist??? Why would you waste time reading that shit. R: honey I was just lurking K: if reading shit about yourself is entertaining then have at it. They are so fucking clueless R: they liked your outfits yesterday. I liked one in particular K: bet I know which one and I was wearing a camisole. Jesus R: I know what is under it which gives me an advantage K whatever!!! R: They liked the W article K: didn't get to talk about writing & directing my short but If they're talking about my work then at least they're not analyzing my personal life R: speaking of shorts.......damn you have the most beautiful legs K: don't you mean "wegs" R: Yes. You have buuutiful wegs. At least you got to talk about "Certain Women" which is preferable to their bullshit about a "Certain Woman" K: irrelevance doesn't merit a mention. Your twitter buddies just don't want to FACE IT R: I'd rather not face IT either K: LMAO, We're here. I love fall in NY R: I love falling K: falling where R: falling in love with you. Falling into bed with you K: one track.I don't think I fell I think you tripped me. LOL. I love you R: the best track. But I caught you. I love you more So sweet Maya Now our favorite girl is receiving more accolades for her work.. Her handsome man has a new Dior campaign. How can anyone not fall for those pictures!! And shot in Paris at n ight..........magical city but even more so at night. What a lovely surprise! Things usually falli into place in the fall. It's going to be OK

[musings4maya]

Cleaning out the closet Dear Maya I was in my closet tonight looking wistfully at my sweaters. I am ready to clean out the summer stuff & start wearing my fall clothes but it is still so hot here! I can't believe we are wrapping up September next week but you know what that means! October is almost here! Our favorite girl is going to be honored in one of our favorite cities. Can't wait to see what she pulls out of the closet to wear to NYFF! K: Did you feed the kids? Leftovers in fridge R: Kids fed including furry ones. K: Furry ones? You fed the dogs lasagna? R: only whatever fell on the floor K: Fell my ass! Dude. it's your fault someone thinks it's OK to feed the dogs from the table. R: I swear it was dropped accidentally K: uh huh.. Accidentally on purpose R: I don't complain when you drop things accidentally on purpose K: just what do you think I drop accidentally on purpose? R: those tiny little panties you wear for one K: you & your one track mind........ hey - you get everyone down for a nap? R: done. Furry ones too K: all the dogs DO is nap. What are you doing right now? R: I'm in the closet K: what are you doing in the closet? R: fulfilling twitter fantasy K: WTF does that mean? R: they think I'm in the closet K: your're on twitter in our closet? R: actually I'm coming out of the closet. I was looking for my hat K: the one you gave me to wear this morning? R: oh yeah. your day for the hat. What about the new one I gave you? K: the "take your clothes off we need to talk" hat? R: That's the one. I like to talk. A lot. Talking is my favorite thing to do with you K: hahahaha. "Talking".............right...........we can "Talk" when I get home. Hopefully everyone will still be napping. R: they just went down. If you hurry we'll have a few hours and.......... I have an idea K: do I wanna know? R: maybe we could "talk" in the closet. There's room for an air mattress..... K: there's room for a fucking car in our closet but I am not "talking" in the closet R: Ok I'll meet you between the sheets. Don't forget to accidentally on purpose drop your panties. K: LOL. Be there in a minute. I'm sitting in the driveway R: you've been sitting in the driveway??? Why didn't you come in the house? K: I wanted to make sure everyone was napping first 'cuz I was hoping we could "talk" R: will you get your beautiful ass in here. I have plenty to SAY K: let me just SAY that I love you R: can't wait to "talk" to you and to SAY I love you more So sweet Maya We have NYC to look forward to now! I can't wait to see all of the fun. Hats off to our favorite girl and her handsome man. They are going to rule the red carpet. (as if they didn't already!) It's going to be OK