You just lost a loved one.
You're torn, broken and in pain - a pain that is so much it lingers, it stings.
Tears just fall as soon as that person's name is mentioned or each time his or her thought crosses your mind - same name you used to make du'a for Allah to protect and keep healthy is now the name that you ask Allah to grant ease in his or her grave and to be amongst those Allah would grant a place in Jannah.
I know, it's excruciatingly and constantly painful. It may be a mother, a father, a spouse or even your own child that you had to bury.
Indeed, how much can one take? With what is happening in this world, we witness a lot of our brothers and sisters who are living in war torn countries suffer by losing a number if not all of their family members in just one glimpse. May Allah grant them ease.
Unimaginable pain indeed, yet we trust in the Qadr of Allah and we move on and we find comfort in His Words and in perfecting our worship.
Yet, I want to tell you of a person who lost not just anyone in her life but the closest ones in her lifetime - one by one.
Once a person gets married - they find a partner in life, someone they can be so open with - they find a best friend who they can rely on as much as they can and trust that will always have their back - someone they fall in love with and experience that beautiful gift of love.
If you are married or is getting married - how would you feel or how would you cope losing that person? Terrifying even to think about, right?
Well, Atikah Bint Zaid Radiyallahu Anha had to go through that not only once in her life but four times.
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Atikah Radiyallahu Anhu was married to Abdullah Ibn Abu Bakr (son of Abu Bakr) Radiyallahu Anhu - and anyone who have read about their love story would agree that they illustrate a very loving relationship - it was said that they were so in love with each other so much that somehow made Abdullah slack on his duties.
Yet, she lost Abdullah, she lost Abdullah who loved her so much that as they say put her on a pedestal - and she loved him back as well to the point that she made a vow of not marrying again after him.
The thing is, Atikah was described as a very beautiful young lady with a beautiful character and manner - knowing that she was also raised from a good and prominent family from the Quraish.
Years have passed and Atikah kept her promise until Umar Radiyallahu Anhu sent proposal for her during his reign as the caliph - but it was not an easy courtship, Atikah refused him a couple of times. They got married and after this 'Umar helped Atikah settle an amount that she distributed as alms as an expiation for her broken vow.
Yet, she lost Umar, she lost Umar who became a grand support and a means of guidance for her through his wisdom and a father of her son.
After Umar's martyrdom, Zubair Ibn Al Awwam made the move and proposed to Atikah. She married Zubair with quite some interesting conditions that she laid out. Their relationship has been described as if they were kids who would deliver their points in such a bubbly way.
Yet, she lost Zubair, she lost the man who she was friends with, a man who even when disagreements arose within their marriage never became harsh on her rather who used to send his point across in an affectionate way.
On this verge of her life - she was given an affectionate title "Wife of the Martyrs" since Abdullah, Umar and Zubair Radiyallahu Anhum all died as martyrs.
Ali Ibn Abi Talib Radiyallahu Anhu proposed to Atikah at this point in which she replied "I do not want the cousin of the Prophet to be martyred."
She refused Ali but later on in her life when she had progressed in age, Hussain who is the son of Ali, proposed to her and she married Hussain.
Yet again, she lost Husain, the young man who cherished her despite of her age. The man who gave her affection and was impressed by her wisdom and character - a constant remembrance of how beautiful of a person she was.
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Subhan'Allah. Indeed, how much can a soul take?
Remember how our beloved Prophet ﷺ said: “Great reward comes with great trials. When Allah loves a person, He tests them, and whoever accepts it attains His pleasure, whereas whoever shows discontent with it incurs His wrath.” [1]
Atikah is a great example of this hadith. She was tested with a great calamity that not every soul can handle. We, indeed, find many people (even Muslims) walk or revert to another path once they lose their spouse or someone closest to them.
Each time I read about Atikah, I just stop and think - what great deed has she done for Allah to raise her status like this through testing her this way. What a great lady she was.
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Atikah was a beautiful lady and her beauty did not shine only through her physical appearance but also through her character and manners. She was also stern in her beliefs and would voice out for her rights - she was a poetess - one of the best.
She was not married to any mere kind of men - just see the line of men she was married to, they were men of the battlefields - two of her husbands were amongst those who were promised Jannah, two other are sons of two of the greatest caliphs of Islam.
Atikah was no mere woman, she was a woman of great status and this was all because of her perseverance, her faith and the way she accepted the Qadr of Allah.
My dear brothers and sisters in Islam, I know this story is a bit long but I pray this would speak to you in a manner that you need the most. This is life - we will lose someone as death is inevitable and we will go through calamities but let us strive our best to accept it with full faith in Allah's Qadr.
Nothing befalls a believer except that it is good for him. - Read that twice.
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May Allah elevate the status of Atikah and may every believing woman be the likes of her and be inspired by learning about her story.
Amin
Zohayma
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Note:
Atikah's first husband was Zaid Ibn Al Khattab (Umar's brother) but their marriage ended in divorce. Zaid was also martyred in the battle of Yamama but at this time Atikah has remarried already.
Stories were taken from
• Al-Isaba fi tamyiz al-Sahaba Vol. 8 | Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani
• Kitab al-Tabaqat al-Kabir Vol. 3 & 8 | Muhammad Ibn Saad
• Tarikh al Rusual wa'l-Muluk Vol. 11 | Muhammad ibn Jarir al-Tabari
[1] At Tirmidhi 2396
