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[musselwench]

Far Traveler

I'm a traveling seasonal biologist, and am so lucky to get paid to be in nature all day and travel the world. It does grate sometimes though, not having a permanent home, not being near family and dear friends. Here are some thoughts I had on it, I hope you like it.

It's strange, not having a home.

I should clarify,

I'm not homeless.

I could go home whenever I wanted to.

It's just that home is far away,

And that's my fault.

But can you blame me?

There’s so much to see, 

How could I stop and settle down?

Beauty in everything, everywhere.

Forests, with leaves of red and gold painting the canopy.

Cypress swamps, with Spanish moss swaying in the wind.

Deserts, with sunsets that turn the distant rock purple and pink.

So much to see and do in this world we live in.

And so I don't settle down.

I can't, not yet.

I have traveled so far and so long,

and still have seen so little of the world's beauty.

I send postcards back, talk with them over the phone,

and hope they understand why I'm not there.

A missed birthday, graduation, baby shower...

The events pile up, and still I can't go back.

Not yet.

Don't they know what's out there?

Why aren't they with me? Why isn't EVERYONE with me?

And so I keep going,

am privlidged to see the world.

I have houses and places to stay,

but I have no home.

No place to put up my many keepsakes and knick-knacks,

No pets or houseplants...

Everywhere I go,

I meet new people, make new friends,

And they get added to my every growing postcard list.

Maybe one day the longing for something permanent will win.

But for now the wanderlust is undefeated in battle,

And it has no plans on losing anytime soon.

[musselwench]

An ode to Asexuality and Aromantism

I'm the only AroAce in my friend group, and these thoughts plague me more than I like to admit. It's my first time writing poetry not for school, and I liked how it turned out, so here. Hope other people resonate with it, and know that they're not alone.

One day, I will be alone.

My friends, who are my family, 

they are my closest bonds.

They are my people.

They’re not like me though.

They love differently, “normally”

One day, they will find their person.

Someone to make them laugh,

Someone to care for,

Someone to grow old with.

They are my people,

But I am not their person.

When they find this person,

I will be happy for them,

And yet cry for myself.

It’s only a matter of time,

Until there’s no time for me.

It has happened before, it will happen again.

And even if it doesn’t, it won’t be the same.

THAT is now their person,

Their closest bond.

I am now “just” a friend.

And one day, I will be alone.