adhd hell brain

jace | 24M | adhd-c, autism, ptsd, ocd + depression | queer adhd dude vibing |

[adhd-queer]

ADHD is a whore but I just graduated with my first college degree while working and going to school full time. Big shout-out to my meds and accommodations for providing the much-appreciated support I needed to succeed. I also start my bachelor's program in like three weeks :D

[adhd-queer]

👀

[adhd-queer]

came home from the hospital today! i am officially done w the first step of my bottom surgery journey!!! recovery is going well, it hurts to get up/sit down and go to the bathroom, and I'm not allowed to like. Sit. So I've been laying on the couch since my husband and I got home. they have me on norco and motrin for pain and it's helping as long as I don't overdo anything :D

[flimflops]

Me actively dysfunctional every second of my miserable little life:

Therapist: Is there anything you struggle to deal with?

Me:

[adhd-queer]

btw had a convo w my psych and my new therapist, and ya boy does have ocd fucking rip me

[tubeworqs]

[adhd-queer]

So my psych asked me abt my OCD in my appt and we discussed my symptoms and how bad they've been with like intrusive/obsessive thoughts but he never. he never outright u said "u have ocd" he just kinda talked as if I have it so now I'm fucking confused as shit. Like is that? Do I have ocd now??? Is that what my symptoms are???

[adhd-queer]

I very rarely get angry, but when I do it's like a pot that boils over too fast and then I have the overwhelming urge to chuck shit as hard as I can or slam my head into a wall :T

[literaphobe]

i hate the. inconsistency of adhd. it really sucks that sometimes i’ll be somewhat functional and keeping to a schedule and doing the things i’m meant to be doing when i need them to be done only for that to suddenly fall apart like a black hole has appeared in my life and sucked my ability to do anything away. all of a sudden all the things that were solutions have become problems. it sucks that adhd isn’t an illness sometimes because we can never really be cured. adhd is our friend and our foe and all our lives we have to spend it figuring out how to get along with and fend off everything it throws at us, the good and the bad. it’s just so hard to see past the fog sometimes

[softichill]

God the WORST thing to be told as a kid with untreated adhd was "You're smart! I know you can do it. You just have to try."

[adhd-infodump]

[k-dhd]

[adhd-infodump]

[natequarter]

the unstoppable force (adhd) vs the immovable object (also adhd)

[everyonehasamnesia]

As someone recently diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, one thing that’s been helping me grapple with the intense shame I have over all my “wasted potential” is accepting that potential doesn’t exist and never did.

This sounds so harsh, but please bare with me.

I procrastinated a lot growing up. I still procrastinate today, but less so. And yet, I got good grades. I could write an A+ paper that “knocked [my professor]’s socks off” in the hour before class and print it with sweat running down my face.

I was so used to hearing from teachers and family that if I just didn’t procrastinate and worked all the time, I could do anything! I had all this potential I wasn’t living up to!

And that’s true, as far as it goes, but that’s like saying if Usain Bolt just kept going he could be the fastest marathon runner in the world. Why does he stop at the end of the race??

If ANYONE could make their top speed/most productive setting the one they used all the time, anyone could do anything. But you can’t. Your top speed is not a speed you’re able to sustain.

Now, I’ve found that I do need to work on not procrastinating. Not because the product is better, even, but because it’s better for my mental health and physical health to not have a full, sweating, panicked breakdown over every task even if the task itself turns out excellently. It’s a shitty way to live! You feel bad ALL the time! And I don’t deserve to live like that anymore.

So all of this to say, I’m not wasting a ton of potential. I don’t have an ocean of productivity and accomplishments inside of me that I could easily, effortlessly access if I just sat down 8 hours a day and worked. There’s no fucking way. That’s not real. It’s an illusion. It’s fine not to live up to an illusion.

And if you have ADHD, I mean this from the bottom of my heart: you do not have limitless potential confounded by your laziness. You have the good potential of a good person, and you can access it with practice and work, but do not accept the story that you are choosing not to be all that you are or can be. You are just a human person.

[inkskinned]

i just get stuck. halfway between things, invisible rules come between my fingers. i have 2 important things to do today; i am doing neither. i am frozen. i want to get up to do one or at least do something, but there's a rule i'm not following, because i don't know it yet. i'm just not allowed to get up. i don't like being here. i feel scattered, raw. it's like living inside a sunburn. every move is the wrong one.

how can you explain that to someone. i am a person with so many strengths and so much love. but i can't get up yet. i don't know why. i just .... get stuck.

[lizzyforever-deactivated2022053]

[headspace-hotel]

as someone who has adhd and takes adderall, this post is so funny. When I take adderall I decide what task i am going to do and then I do it.

Which is pretty fun, i guess.