Izzy

chronically ill teenager navigating through life - hypermobile ehlers danlos syndrome (hEDS) - postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS) - blog made for realistic awareness (mostly, sometimes I just talk)

[mutant-life]

JUST GRADUATED FROM HIGH SCHOOL ON FRIDAY!! 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳 I STAY WINNING

[mutant-life]

so I had my last band concert a couple days ago. which isn’t exactly correct, I plan on joining the band of whatever college I go to but that’s not really the same. At my school, the seniors are acknowledged with a plaque that has our name and year of graduation on it and it’s really awesome. seniors are also allowed to give speeches about their experiences in the music program or about their teacher so I gave one and oh my god, I cried so hard. I wasn’t even really sad. like, yeah, I’m sad to leave the band because everyone in it has become a family to me but I’m also excited to graduate. terrified, but excited. but I absolutely am dreading saying goodbye to my band director. he’s actually so great. before high school, I had had okay band directors but none of them really made me love band. I was going to quit when I got to high school but my mom wouldn’t let me (thanks mom). but then I got to high school and that was the first time I actually had a teacher that made me enjoy playing an instrument. and he’s the entire reason I stuck it out for 4 more years. this is a really sappy post but I really needed to express my appreciation for band. 😊

[mutant-life]

guys, I’m learning how to use blinkies and fonts. this is such an exciting moment. anyway, the musical is over and I don’t regret auditioning because I met so many amazing people but I will never do it again. exhausting. but half way into tech week (last week) my thumb started to hurt and I was like “oh, ok, it’ll probably go away tomorrow”. it’s been a week and a half. how did I injure my thumb you may ask? I play the clarinet and I guess that specific day my thumb didn’t want to hold it up anymore. having eds is actually just like parenting a toddler except the toddler is your own body because I’ve been playing the clarinet for 8 years now and this is the only time this has happened. but fast forward to yesterday. I’m sitting in my room, crocheting because my thumb being a big baby wont stop me from the grind, and I start to get a sore throat. and I’m thinking, “hmm, that’s odd, maybe it will go away in a couple minutes” because everyone gets those sore throats that only last a couple minutes. guess what? it didn’t but I’m still optimistic about this because I had just gotten my flu shot the day before (get vaccinated) and I often have little side effects from vaccines. well it’s now Sunday and it still hasn’t gone away so I really don’t think it’s a side effect from the flu shot. I literally went to go get my flu shot because there’s been a bunch of stuff going around my school (also because I needed to get it in general) and because I have adjudication for band tomorrow. so I’m going to be showing up to school with my temperamental thumb and my cold (presumably), looking half dead, but we’re still going to kill it at adjudication because we’re awesome.

[mutant-life]

this year, I decided to audition for a musical at my school (it’s Mean Girls if anyone wanted to know) since it’s my senior year and I wanted to try something new (I also love singing and have performed on stage for various things). OH MY GOD, NEVER AGAIN. listen, if you enjoy acting/theater, I love that for you and encourage you to continue, HOWEVER, it’s not my thing. I just don’t really understand the acting part. like, I feel like I’m on stage building an ikea table but none of the pieces fit together, I don’t have any instructions and I only vaguely know what a table looks like. in other words, I just kind of stand there awkwardly which isn’t a huge deal because I’m ensemble and not the main person people will be looking at. but also an issue I thought I’d have but one I didn’t think would be a huge deal is that my joints hurt quite a bit after rehearsal?? I don’t know why I didn’t expect that with all the dancing involved but moral of the story, if you have any chronic illness/disability that limits your energy levels and/or mobility, don’t feel you can’t try something you really want to but also know your limits (that actually goes for anyone). 😊

[mutant-life]

chronic illness is crazy because there’s never just one issue. I went to get a blood test done, just a routine one, and I get the results back the next day. tell me why my iron levels were elevated when I was anemic a year ago??? MAKE UP YOUR MIND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD 😭😭

on the plus side, my organs won’t be harvested because no one will want them

[mutant-life]

every time I post, I say “golly gee I hope the people of tumblr find me humorous!” and then I realize why I’m not invited to parties

[mutant-life]

having eds and being a teenager is so weird because why do I have knee problems at this age??? I sound like an animatronic at Freddy Fazbear’s pizzeria every time I stand up