He cleared his throat before answering, mostly to buy himself time. He didnât know what to say, has been still struggling with sorting his thoughts into anything resembling order since Peter reappeared in his life. For so many years he had excused Peterâs case that it was almost ingrained into his personality even though now he knew better. To hear McGonagall somewhat dismiss the bond they had had during school years was a hard pill to swallow. After all it was all that time they had spent together as teenagers that made the betrayal so fucking unbelievable. It was even, to some extent, annoying to hear someone belittle Peterâs past behaviour as though it should have been obvious from the start that he was going to end up being a disappointment. It wasnât. That was the point.  Â
âI appreciate your concern, Professor.â He finally managed to say and he even smiled a little, because the practical part of his brain knew where she was coming from. âBut knowing things and⊠I donât know⊠Experiencing them is not exactly the same.â
Was he going to give Peter another chance? No. With surprising clarity, James knew that he would never be able to look at Peter in the same way. Even if the Ministry were to absolve him from all the charges, even if he played the Imperius card and was cleared of all the allegations, James would never be able to see him in the same light. To look his former friend in the eye and not remember the fear he had felt whenever someone had breached the wards on the cottage back when they had been hiding, how so often both he and Lily had cried themselves to sleep because they never knew if they were going to be able to wake up in the morning and see their baby again. Back then they had trusted Peter to keep them safe, now that memory was tainted with the knowledge that it was a mistake that could have cost them their lives and that of their tiny boy.Â
âBut I donât think thereâs any risk of us ever being on speaking terms, let alone me being taken in by him. War made all of us do things that we wouldnât have done otherwise, but thereâs no coming back from that.â He finished weakly and slimed at his baby, who was still sitting next to McGonagall and munching on a biscuit, while obviously trying to imitate the picture she painted with her pose. Harryâs chubby limbs and short legs made it all the more adorable. âWould you look at that?â He started, attempting to change the subject. âJust six more years and youâre gonna have him with you for a majority of the year and Iâm afraid heâs going to replace his old folks with you. Weâll lose him forever.â
âExactly my point,â Minerva said, firmly but not unkindly. She could only imagine how difficult this was for James but she also knew his kind and just nature (that of a true Gryffindor) could at times make one blind to certain faults. It had happened to her in the past and led to her nearly giving up magic entirely, something sheâd sworn as a child in Hogwarts never to do. âI do not wish you to tarnish all your memories of your time together. Merlin knows you and your friends drove me to distraction on more than one occasion but you were all happy in one anotherâs company.â And it had warmed her heart to see young Mr. Lupin finding such close friends to share his childhood with; it was the happiness all children deserved.
âBut viewing the future through the rosiness of the past can be very dangerous.â Even Albus had fallen prey to it; though those secrets were ones sheâd take to her grave, just as her dear friend kept hers. Â Â
She was satisfied with his answer, and it made her feel better about Pettigrewâs unwanted return. The boy had made his own choices, his own bed and now the time was here to lie in it. With any luck heâd remain there and prevent himself from being a bothersome burden to the betterment of society. James moved the subject along and, on this occasion, Minerva allowed it. Her sharp gaze flitted to the child, his stubby limbs attempting to mimic her crossed legs, one arm cupping an elbow. With a quiet chuckle, she took another sip of her tea and placed the cup down on the coffee table. In these bright new stars of the next generation she saw hope that peace would remain for their society. They had all endured great hardships, lost friends, lovers, family, but they were beginning to heal, and while all would certainly never be perfect, they could leave those dark times behind.
âSix years is a long time yet, Mr. Potter.â she said, taking another biscuit, dunking it in her tea and, once it was soft, passed it to a happy Harry (yes sheâd said one but that rule was more for James than his son). With a slight tile of her head she continued, âI donât recall you losing any love for your parents when you came to the castle. Affection is not a finite resource, the heart will always make more as its needed.â As more students passed through her classroom she found herself caring about each one and that care, that protective instinct didnât lessen as they grew older and left; they were all her students, and that would never change. Â Â Â