m a r l e n e .

we can a l w a y s begin again.

[mxrlenemckn]

chxrity-burbage​

…

Charity was in an emotional state, that much was obvious. They understood that it was sensitive information, what they were talking about, though it wasn’t like anyone would believer them anyway if they did over hear. Maybe she was crazy… maybe this was all in her head and whatever happened after death was a sick reenactment of ones own life over and over again at different parts. Why the universe would have chosen 1979 for Charity to start reliving the past, they had no idea. While they had spent the last two days trying to convince themselves they weren’t crazy, it wasn’t until Marlene brought up St. Mungo’s that something clicked. 

Their expression shifted rapidly to a blank stare as they rose their eyes to meet hers. “Maybe I am,” they answered plainly, almost matter of factly, even. “Maybe I deserve to be, instead of reliving every sick, and twisted moment of the night everything was taken from me. You have no idea, what happened, why should I think you could ever understand?” There was anger in Charity’s voice as their brows furrowed, though it manifested coldly, in a hushed tone as to not raise their voice and draw attention to them. Charity didn’t believe Marlene when she said that very few people remembered what happened. Perhaps it was the fact that the other was treating them like a mental patient, but there was something she was obviously hiding. 

The problem there lied in the fact that Charity was confused, very, very confused. None of this made any sense, and Marlene’s response to it all was perhaps more concerning than figuring out why it was happening. “You don’t even seem to care…” The witch had an extreme lack of emotional response to it all. Maybe it was because she had died early on in the war, or perhaps because there was a lot missing from the narrative. “Move on? You don’t even know how insulting that sounds…” Charity was tense at this point, far more on edge than she had ever been, and with good reason. But now perhaps wasn’t the time to dive into the details of why. “I’m not so sure I sound like the crazy one anymore.” Maybe to muggles it would seem so, but Chairty severely doubted that Marlene could sound sane acting unphased by all of this to anyone in the wizarding world. 

...

She took a slow, even breath.  She was going to be a better person this go around.  One with more patience.  One that didn’t didn’t smash this person’s face into the table for talking to her like this.  Trauma fucked people up in all kinds of ways.  But even if she didn’t resort to violence, she was hardly going to let that kind of selfish, dismissive statement go without a response in kind.  

“Wouldn’t blame you,” was all she managed for the first bit, certain that her frustration was more than evident in her voice.  She had never been good at hiding that.  “Maybe you should consider giving it a go.  I’m not going to sit here and compare and swap trauma with you like it’s some sort of chocolate frog fucking card, Charity.  You got Ptolemy, so clearly you’re on top.  There’s plenty of that to go around, and I assure you that you don’t have a monopoly on it, not based on the stories I’ve heard since being back.  No.  I don’t know what  happened to you, because you clearly lived longer than I did -- but that means you should have a very real understanding that I do, in fact, know what you’re feeling right now.  I’m not sure what was said publicly about my death.  Haven’t gotten that far yet.  But it wasn’t great.  Not a super pleasant thing to wake up to, knowing exactly how your family was brutally murdered in front of you while you couldn’t do a single fucking thing to stop it.  Listening to my little sister scream for help while I lay there, unable to do a thing to help her?  Not great.  Knowing now, that they don’t even fucking remember it?  Waking up thinking I lost my fucking mind because I look the same in my memories?  Hearing about all the ways my best friends struggled and died after I was gone and there was nothing that I could do to help them?  I’m sure what happened to you was terrible, but you’re not alone there.  If you want to spiral into sort of unending cycle of self-pity you can be my guest, but if you want someone to coddle you I’m not your girl.  I’ve got enough of my own shit to deal with, and it’s rich of you to accuse me of not caring when you haven’t begun to acknowledge that you aren’t the only one at this table to have been murdered by the Voldemort and his gang of arse kissers.” 

She took in a slow, deep breath.  She wasn’t a child anymore.  She couldn’t break the nose of everyone who irritated her, as satisfying as it might be.  “If you’re going to dwell on the past and wait for whatever it was to happen to you again, again you can be my guest.  But me?  I’m going to focus on what I can do to save my family.  Dwelling on their screams.  Dwelling on the knife as it stabbed me to death.  On the blood.  The broken glass.  None of that is going to help me.  What’s going to help me is stopping it.  Maybe you don’t feel the same, but I would suggest you take a second and remember that you are not the only one hurting right now.  If you want to talk that’s fine, stick around.  If you want to know how you can stop it from happening to you... I don’t know the answer to that yet.  But it’s a lot more productive than any of the other options.  But as a girl who has had her fair share of self-destructive spirals, I can hardly blame you if that’s the path you choose.”

[mxrlenemckn]

chxrity-burbage​:

It was hard to talk about these things with just anyone, but perhaps harder because it was Marlene. Charity had never understood where they stood with Marlene in their first lifetime. She liked the girl well enough, but she had always gotten the impression Marlene didn’t feel the same. They were confident that Marlene was never involved with the Death Eaters, but in all honesty, there was a looming fear in the back of her mind that sometime soon she was going to run into someone who wasn’t who they said they were. Charity didn’t blame her for being hesitant to answer anything. 

“That this year… it’s not the first time we’ve seen it.” To anyone unsuspecting muggle, she probably sounded crazy, which was part of the reason that Charity wanted to be sure they wouldn’t be overheard. Muggles already speculated the idea of time travel, and while that was very possible with a time turner, they didn’t need non wix knowing about that. Besides, there was no possible way they could have all been brought back with time turners. “It’s been almost two decades, since then.”

...

Would it make her a horrible person if she just walked away?  Probably.  She needed to at least try to calm her down first before she broke the Statute of Secrecy and got herself arrested.  Charity Burbage would last about two seconds in Azkaban.  Maybe not even that long.  She hesitated as she began, very obviously, talking about things she needed to keep to herself.  At least for now.  “Are you trying to get yourself sent to St. Mungo’s?”  She asked seriously.  “Keep walking around like this and someone’s going to think you’re high as a fucking kite in the middle of the afternoon.”

When the waitress came back she paused, offering her a tense smile as she ordered a coffee.  Once the woman walked away she turned back to Charity, perhaps more harshly than she needed to.  “Not everyone remembers,” she insisted, her voice low.  Maybe a dose of reality was what she needed because she couldn’t keep doing what she was doing.  “Very few do, from what I’m seeing.  And if you want to change it, if you want to stop whatever happened to you, you need to stop walking around the streets looking lost and confused and actually do something about it.  If you know things you need to be cool, share that with someone who can use it to make a difference in the war, and then you need to find a way to move on.  I’m -- still working on the last part myself.  But it’s the only way we can stop it  from happening again.”

[juliettecaulfield]

When: January 3rd, 1979 Where: The streets of london Who: @mxrlenemckn​

The last few days had been interesting for the young woman, though she supposed with waking up in a year she’d long left behind her days could only be interesting. Most of the time in those days had been devoted to adjusting back to life as an eighteen-year-old. She’d work her shifts at the shop, contemplating her circumstances between customers and figuring out a plan. She knew she wanted to reach out to the order members to find a way to protect them, to change the outcomes she’d seen in her life, and she had run into a few people already. If she was being honest though those encounters made her realize she needed the adjustment period. The people she would seek were people she’d grieved in one way or another and seeing them was a shock to the system.

However, on the morning of the 3rd, Hestia was determined to shake her nerves and go out in search of old friends. She wasn’t exactly sure who’d she be seeking out, but she figured it’d come to her along the way. The young woman weaved through the streets letting her memory navigate as her mind focused on formulating a plan. A familiar head of blonde hair had brought Hestia to a pause stunned by the sight. “Marlene.” The name slipped quietly off her lips, it’d been over a decade since she’d seen a hint of the woman that wasn’t in a photograph. “ Marlene!” She called in hopes of getting her attention before she’d walked too far away.

[mxrlenemckn]

...

It was lunchtime and she had to get out of the Ministry for a bit.  It was becoming increasingly clear to her that the majority of those in her training class didn’t remember, which meant she could visit one of the places they discovered later in their training without coming across anyone she knew.  So she left the Ministry, leaving her robes in the locker room and tucking her badge into her back pocket.

As tempting as it was to slip into a pub, she wanted to keep her job.  So she passed the pub she often stopped in after work and continued her way toward a deli a few blocks down.

It was like she felt the eyes on her before she heard her name.  It was becoming almost routine, coming across someone whose last memory of her was of hearing about her death.  She turned, prepared to offer a few words of comfort, make a mental note of whether or not they had been in the Order because it just felt relevant to know who remembered and who didn’t, and be on her way.  But when she saw Hestia her shoulders relaxed a bit.  “Hey Hes,” she said softly.  Maybe she should hug her?  She wasn’t sure how to appropriately greet someone you last saw in the future.  She hesitated, unsure if this was just a friendly greeting or if she remembered.  “How -- How’s your new year going?”

[surprisebitch]

[sinceatwistoffaith]

surprisebitch :

this is sooo sweet <3

[mxrlenemckn]

@jamiespxtter

[mxrlenemckn]

When:  January 9, 1979 Where:  Pandora’s House Who:  @lxvegood and @miss-dorcxs

She was suspicious.  Not of any sort of ill-will, not from Pandora.  But rather the fact that her older friend had thought Marlene would be any help when it came to painting.  Especially if she were planning to complete the task without magic.  No, Pandora could sometimes find herself lost in the grander plans, but she didn’t accept that there was any world in which she thought Marlene would be helpful with this task.

That meant she was up to something.  What it could be she didn’t know, but something was going on.  

She knocked carefully on the door, stepping back to wait for her to answer.  When she did she breezed past and into the living room.  She had already been invited in, was there any point in waiting on the doorstep?  “What have you got up your sleeve?”  She asked, laughing.  “because there is no way you’re letting me anywhere near those beautiful floors with a paintbrush.”

[bllsource]

[mxrlenemckn]

nighttimestorrm​:

…

This whole conversation was so ridiculous it was easy to forget that something serious had just happened. But then that is what he loved the most about being around Marlene. They could be silly and just have fun and not worry about everything else. There was plenty of time to dwell on what was happening and try and fix things. But, he needed to remember how to have fun as well. And it was so easy to just fall back into that with her. “I’d like to think I already smell delicious but maybe that’s just me.” He laughed. It felt good to laugh.

“If only we had known we were going to be tossed back in time, we could all make a fortune.” He said and chuckled at the idea. “You should write your ideas down though before someone steals them. We could change the way people use brooms forever.”

Downing his drink he stood up with her. “At least you admit that I need to let you win.” He said and shook his head at her. “You cry once because you’ve drank too much and suddenly you never hear the end of it.” He teased. 

...

“You smell,” she leaned across, taking a pointed sniff of his shirt.  “I mean, I guess you smell fine.  Perfectly adequate.  You certainly don’t smell thirty-six.  None of the nighttime man funk that you get sometimes, but grapefruits smell better, of course.”

A fortune’d have been nice.  A nice penance for the things that were sure to haunt her nightmares until she knew for certain that she could stop them.  A way to get her family out of the country where they’d be safe from the knives of a trio of Death Eaters too cowardly to fight her face on.  But this was something that she was going to take for granted.  Sirius had been her best friend for a long time, even when that relationship ebbed and flowed and shifted over the years, they had settled into a friendship around this time that she really valued, something she wouldn’t admit to of course.  She was glad that, if nothing else, maybe they could fix whatever it was that had him looking so haunted.  “Maybe we could even get Lily up on one,” she laughed.  “doubtful, but the possibility would be there if she didn’t have to steer, I think.”

She snorted, hopping off the chair and heading straight for the pool table in the back.  It was true, he was better at it than she was, but she’d fight a valiant fight.  Maybe make it a little difficult for him to beat her this go around.  “Okay, but I’ve had at least three drinks at this point, and everyone knows you play better pool once you pass the two drink mark.  It’s scientific fact.  Or did you skip that day in uh -- potions.”   Alcohol was a sort of potion, it tracked.  “Anyway, get ready for the waterworks.”

[mxrlenemckn]

ofmollyweasley​:

&&

molly knew she was lucky that she had people in her life that cared as much about her kids as she did. she knew her brothers, her parents, or arthur’s parents would take her kids in if something were to happen to them (heaven forbid), but it still was nice knowing she had other people that loved her kids. “good,” she said with a soft smile.

hearing charlie’s giggles as he jumped on marlene’s back put an even bigger smile on her face. that was the the thing she missed the most about her kids being young, it was hearing their laughter. it didn’t come as often over the next twenty years. with them getting older and everything getting darker around them, she wasn’t surprised. but she relished in it now. “how afraid are you of five kids hyped up on sugar?”

...

She glanced over her shoulder at Charlie and gave him a conspiratorial smile.  “I think if we play our cards right here your mum might get us something sweet to eat,” she whispered in a way that Molly could definitely hear.  “Tell her that she looks pretty today.  Or that you love her.  Make it good, kid.”

Charlie nodded seriously, glancing from Marlene back to Molly.  “Mum I love you.  You’re the prettiest lady I’ve ever seen.”

“Oi,” Marlene protested, “You know, actually, I’m not even mad.  Your mum’s the queen, but I call princess.”  She chuckled, turning back to Molly herself.  “I’m not afraid of anything, least of all that.  Where we going?  Candy or ice cream?”  This felt nice, honestly.  Just taking a few moments to spend time with little people who didn’t know how dark the world would soon get.  Maybe Molly remembered, but she didn’t think she’d want to talk about it in front of the kids.  It was a safe reprieve from all the pain, and she was grateful for it.

[ohjamescook]

[mxrlenemckn]

When:  January 3, 1981 Where:  A Muggle Gym

@mcrningecans​​

At this point in her timeline her hand to hand combat skills, Muggle dueling, whatever you wanted to call them, weren’t up to par.  She had never been patient enough to look for the side door when there was always the option to simply barrel through the front.  It seemed pointless to her, to learn to fight when she had access to her wand.  Especially when she had proven herself more than capable of breaking a nose or two in her day -- Severus Snape’s grimy, fifth year face came to mind.  Although, to his credit he had taken the unexpected blow, one that he deserved fully, like a champ.

She hadn’t been good at it in 1979.  But through Alice’s help, and through getting her wand taken from her a time or two, she learned to appreciate the value in it.  It was something that most witches and wizards didn’t often consider an important skill, so when Lily asked if she could show her a few things she had been excited.  It was in these small ways that she genuinely thought they might gain an advantage this go around.

They probably could have snuck into a training room at the Ministry, especially with most of the Aurors in charge having both retained their memories and known that she had her’s as well, that although her body was still a trainee, mentally she was fully qualified.  But she didn’t particularly want to advertise that fact to everyone -- and honestly, the Muggle gyms were better equipped for these sorts of things anyway, and they were far more private.

“So,” she asked conversationally, sitting on the floor and stretching.  “Is there anyone’s arse in particular that you’re considering kicking?  If so, can I come?”  This was an unexpected request from Lily, although, not at all an unwelcome one.  “I won’t steal your glory, I swear.  I’ll just come in a tshirt with your face on it... maybe make a sign.  Sell some tickets... you’ll hardly notice that I’m there.”

[mxrlenemckn]

mcrningecans​:

—–

     LILY HAD BEEN ASLEEP SO LONG, SHE’D NEARLY FORGOTTEN ABOUT THE PROPHECY. It was funny, really, how little she’d been thinking about those words now that she’d woken up. They’d consumed her before, even if she hadn’t told anyone; only James and Sirius, and eventually Peter. A part of her always knew that they’d find out, but she didn’t want to put them in harm’s way prematurely. That was why they’d gone into hiding, after all. For their safety, and for the safety of their friends. If they distanced themselves, maybe Voldemort would take the target off their backs. Of course, it wasn’t working. With Marlene’s death, Lily had known that he would come for them, in the end. But, still, she hadn’t talked of the prophecy. Only with James, had she openly discussed what she thought about it. The fear that came from those short words. It bubbled in her now, and Lily almost choked on them as she spit out, “I never told you about the prophecy.” It had to be safe now, didn’t it? It had to be fine to tell Marlene about something that hadn’t even been spoken yet. Then again, if she spoke it into existence now… what would that mean? Lily ran her fingers through her hair, keeping them there for a moment, grabbing at her skull as she grappled with this, finally, she let her hands fall to her neck and met Marlene’s eyes. “I can’t repeat it, Marls.” Lily knew every single word, of course. “I can’t… I can’t speak it into existence again. But it’s why we and the Longbottoms went into hiding at the same time. It gave a birth date that would narrow it down to our boys.”

     At the thought of Alice, Lily wondered if she was back too; if she was feeling the same way. That hole, that fear, the absolute terror that sometimes filled up the hole, only to get drained out of her. It cycled in and out of her like a Muggle washing machine and Lily felt as though she were being tossed about like a worn t-shirt. Truthfully, Marlene was stabilizing. She always had been that for Lily. From the moment she sat down at the Gryffindor table, Marlene had taken her under he wing, held her hand when she’d lost Severus to the green and silver. Now, it seemed, nothing had changed. Here Mar was, holding her hand, literally, keeping her upright. Keeping her afloat. 

     “We’ll find Travers,” she said, with a fierceness she couldn’t help. “And Voldemort we’ll deal with last, but Peter… I don’t know. Maybe he’ll want to help us this time. Maybe he’ll have information we can use.” It was awful, to think of a friend that way, but it was all Lily could seem to wrap her head around at the moment. The betrayal was too much, still. It made her choke up again, crawl back into her shell. When would it stop feeling this way? “He might not have done it yet. I s’pose that’s all I can hope for, really. Is that he hasn’t done it. Or, that if he did he regrets it, at least a little… I can’t… I can’t imagine what I’ll do if he wants to go back to them, Mar.” Lily knew she wasn’t giving herself any kind of leeway, but she couldn’t help it. The emotions were overflowing; spilling over the top of her head and filling the room.      

     And then there was Marlene, holding out a plate and offering her an out. Or at the very least, a place to put all the feelings that were filling her to the brim. Maybe, she couldn’t process them, not yet, but she could break the porcelain that now sat between her fingers, smooth and without any kind of line. She couldn’t fix the world, but she could break this plate, and put it back together. That she could do. Marlene always understood; always knew how Lily liked to keep it all bottled up. She knew, sometimes, that if Lily didn’t have some kind of release she’d explode. 

    So, she threw the plate.    

    It hit the cabinet with a loud shriek, and Lily jumped as she watched the pieces scatter across the floor. But, then, she found another plate already in her hands, and it smashed against the ground with a loud bang. Then another. And then one was in Marlene’s hands, and Lily grinned at her friend, tears still in her eyes and pointed at the wall. “On three?” she asked, raising a brow. “One, two…” And the plate was flying through the air, and Lily couldn’t help but feel the laughter build up, like a tidal wave, crashing into her beach and stumbling out of her as she fell down with the force of it. Laughter. She hadn’t felt this in so long; that joy in her stomach. It was too much, but now, she valued it so much. She valued what Marlene had given her in this moment more than anything. “Oh, bloody hell, it hurts. Is this what laughing was always like? Oh, Godric–”

...

“Hey,” she shook her head, reaching for Lily’s hand again.  “I’ll repeat then now what I said then.  I know who the both of you are, okay?  If you tell me it’s important, I believe you.  You don’t have to tell me anything.”  She would be a liar if said she hadn’t been curious.  Of course she had.  Two of her favorite people have babies and then nearly immediately rush off into hiding.  Almost certainly it had been about protecting their sons.  She couldn’t think of another reason any of them would have stopped fighting.  A prophecy made so much sense, though.  “Yeah, don’t -- talk about it.  Divination is a load of shit most of the time, but if we’re living through something a bit... otherworldly... right now.  So if there were ever a point when it wasn’t a load of shit this would be it.”  She hesitated.  “I think a lot of the time recorded prophecies are sort of self-fulfilling, yeah?  Try not to dwell on it, whatever it said.  We’ll find a way to change it.”

“We will.”  She nodded, knowing that would perhaps be the simplest of their problems.  “there were two others there, but I didn’t see their faces.  Hopefully they out themselves in time.  We were so close so many times,” she said slowly.  “so many times we were just a breath away from finishing it.  We just -- have to be a bit quicker this time and maybe we can pull it off.”  She didn’t comment on Peter -- even if he did want to help them this time, how were they supposed to ever fully trust that he was working with them?  But she’d let Lily have her moment of hope.  She knew exactly what they’d need to do if Peter wanted to go back to the Death Eaters.  The question was if any of them would have the strength to do it.  “We won’t let him,” she said simply.  She wasn’t sure how they’d stop him, but they’d find a way.  “he won’t have the chance to.  He’s not going to hurt anyone else.”

She smiled as Lily smashed the plate, easily transfiguring another and another for her to break.  And then she was joining her.  Laughing and crying as they destroyed them as quickly as they could transfigure them.  

She didn’t know how much time had passed before they had dropped to the ground, laughing as they surveyed the mess around them.  “Do you know when James is meant to be back?”  She asked hesitantly.  “It’s not that I don’t want to see him, obviously.  I just think I should let you two have your time to process, and I’m not sure that I can manage two emotional reunions without a processing break,” she laughed at the thought.  She wasn’t equipped for this, but she was so glad they got this moment, even if it was fleeting.  “And I should go see if any of my family remembers too.  I -- hope they don’t, but...” she trailed off,  not sure how any of this worked.  “and we should clean up before he thinks you got angry with the state of the house,” she laughed.  “I -- am not going anywhere though.  I need to go to work tomorrow, and then we’ll meet up again after or the next day.  Whatever you want.  And send James by my place when he’s ready, if you don’t mind.”  That would be another emotional conversation, she was sure.  But there was no real way to prepare for something like that.

[mxrlenemckn]

lxvegood​:

-

Marlene’s ability to smile through this conversation only deepened Pandora’s worry. She wouldn’t pull some horrible elaborate prank like this, of course, but it was hard to believe that any of this was anything more than some horrible dream. Except that Xenophilius remembered even more than Pandora did, and while he had yet to tell her much of it, she knew Marlene was telling her the truth. “We’ll change things,” Pandora agreed, thinking of Marlene’s family, of Dorcas. Her anxiety bubbled up in her throat as she began to realize all the consequences her inaction had. 

“I did die, yes,” She said quietly, putting a hand absently to her throat and then allowing herself a foolish laugh, “I was stubborn, I should have been putting Luna to bed and I just…something went wrong with a spell. That’s all I remember, in 1991.” Talking about Luna made her heart ache and she swallowed the lump in her throat. The last few days without her had been terrible and Pandora often found herself just staring into the little upstairs bedroom that would later become a nursery. 

...

She pulled back from the hug, putting a hand on her elbow and leaning against the wall as she listened to Pandora recount her own death.  She wanted to change things do desperately that it ached, a longing to know that what they did now would matter in the end.  That they would be able to save her family and James and Lily and Sirius and Charity and all the others who were killed by this senseless war.  If enthusiasm counted for anything they’d have beat them the first go around.  She remembered how determined they all had been, how absolutely sure that they’d come out on top in the end.  And how stupid she felt now, knowing just how many of them had been killed before it was all finished.  She desperately hoped she could change things, but she wouldn’t get her hopes up until she knew that they could.

“1991,” she said lowly.  So she had lived another ten years after she had been killed, give or take a handful of months.  “Well, I’m glad you got a bit of time with Luna, all things considered.  We’ll make sure she doesn’t have to go without her mum this time, yeah?  You’ll get to see her grow up.”

[mxrlenemckn]

miss-dorcxs​:

*

“D’you know what, that’s not a half bad idea.  We all should start keeping whiskey under our welcome mats.  Or on top of.  We deserve it.”  Dorcas joked, sticking her tongue out at Marlene.  Not that getting drunk would solve any of the problems currently being posed, but you know what, she’d come back from the dead, she was allowed a night.

Awkward as she felt internally, she was doing her best to act normal, realizing that she could suss out the situation and see if Marlene let anything slip to let Dorcas know one way or the other.  Part of her hoped that Marlene didn’t remember anything, and that she was the only one who did.  It would be lonely, sure, but at least everyone else would have been spared.  But the other, more selfish part, hoped that Marlene did, so that she had an ally.  Sure, there were so many things left unsaid between the two of them, but even facing uncomfortable feelings felt like it would be worth it.  

It was a little hard to even accept that her friend was really standing in front of her.

With every memory that came flooding back, she started to wonder if it had even happened at all.  It was all very complicated and confusing and hurt her brain.  Dorcas was a logical person, when she was faced with a problem, she problem solved.  Sometimes she leapt into action a little too recklessly, or picked a fight for no real reason, but she was perfectly capable of logic.  There was no logical way she could think of to approach whatever was going on, and so, she had decided that she would suffer in silence.

Watching Marlene out of the corner of her eye, she leaned back against the counter, folding her arms across her chest.  “Right, thanks.”  She remembered, of course she remembered.  Sliding the little footstool across the floor so that she could step up and grab the nearest bottle of whiskey, she contemplated taking a swig right out of the bottle before she decided that might be a little rude.  “Cups?”  Waiting until she was pointed in the right direction even though she knew where the cups were kept, she grabbed two and filled them up a little more than was probably called for.

“So.”  Dorcas took a small sip of her drink, resisting the urge to chug the entire thing in one gulp.  “What did you get up to today?  You’re in Auror training right now, yeah?”

At the very least, she could reorient herself to 1979.

...

Now that was a million galleon idea, much better than the self-driving broom idea she had had with Sirius the night before.  Maybe she’d visit people more often if she were greeted with a shot of nice firewhiskey.  “If you paten that you better be thanking me in the footnotes,” she chuckled.  “my stress-fueled drinking may have just inspired greatness.  Hit me up with the prototype, yeah?  Although, maybe not.  That might get more people come to see me.”  She paused, reaching out for Dorcas’s hand, squeezing it carefully.  “You can come anytime though, whiskey or not.”  It was an uncharacteristic show of affection, especially from 1979 Marlene, but she needed to know if Dorcas remembered, despite her inability to just ask.  That last night together still weighed heavily on her.  The awkward silence, the way Dorcas’s expression changed from contentment to pity.  The realization that she may have fucked up one of the best things in her life by simply acknowledging its existence.  Nothing in the world could convince her that she had been wrong.  There was something between them.  The only mistake she made was expecting Dorcas to be anyone but the person she knew that she was.

“We could use cups.  We could also just drink straight from the bottle.  It’s been that sot of a day.”  She didn’t wait for an answer on the pizza, twisting the nob to preheat the oven.  She was hungry enough that she could easily eat the entire thing on her own if Dorcas didn’t have an appetite.  Unwrapping the clingy plastic from the frozen pizza, she just tossed it onto the rack, not having the patience for the oven to fully preheat.  

She grabbed the bottle, downing a sizable amount before sliding it back toward Dorcas.  It would be easy.  Do you remember?  Simple.  Three words.  Do you remember how I ruined everything?  

A laugh nearly slipped out at Dorcas’s question.  She had no idea how frustrated Marlene was when she considered that fact.  She had worked hard, for three years, and was days away from graduating and become a fully qualified Auror when she had been killed.  And now, here she was, at the start of it all with only a few days of training under her belt.  It was frustrating to be hindered by training wheels when she knew she could be so much more of an asset.  She was ready, but the rest of the world didn’t know that.  “Yes,” she confirmed. ”Which is part of the reason why I’m drinking straight from the bottle.”  The other half was to drown out the memories of her death, of the deaths of her family.  That was the memory that felt like yesterday, not her Hogwarts graduation, not spending time, young and naïve, with her friends.  She remembered the screams of her little sister.  The horrifying silence that came just after.  She remembered the red on the knife just before it... she shook her head, wanting to think about nearly anything else.  “What about you?”

Do you remember?

[quotemadness]

Don’t ever think that everyone who leaves wants to.

Rachel Wolchin (via quotemadness)

@miss-dorcxs

[mxrlenemckn]

mooneychild​:

..

Remus could have just thrown caution to the wind and gotten drunk with Marlene. She probably wouldn’t have stopped him. It was early though, and he was worried about what losing his faculties would mean in present company. There was so much he could accidentally spill. He wondered what a hangover would feel like for him now. Would he experience it like an older man or like the teenager his body appeared as? He wasn’t going to find out at that current moment.

He nodded at Marlene’s advice. He knew it was easier said than done, but he knew there was some truth behind her words. They had time and nothing good would come from trying to rush anything before he was ready. “You’re right,” he said. “It’s just hard to shake that everything feels so urgent.”

Remus didn’t blame anyone for feeling two steps from falling apart in that moment. If anything, he expected anyone in their situation to be feeling that way. He understood how Marlene would have taken a longer time to catch on than he had. She looked almost exactly the same as when she died. For Remus, his own reflection had been the giveaway. Though, he did have his own moments of confusion for longer than he would like to admit. He nodded. “You do all look the same,” he said and there was a heaviness to it. “My reflection was a dead giveaway. You know, because I’m so old,” he teased. “I saw them too. Lily and James,” he clarified realizing he hadn’t been clear about the earlier. “We’re all going to figure this out,” he said, sounding more confident than he had all conversation. “We’re going to do this together.”

...

Remus had always been among the smartest people she knew, but now there was an added sort of wisdom to him, something that maybe came with age.  She sat on her stool, bringing her legs up to cross underneath of her, in silence for awhile.  She wanted to offer him words of comfort, but she didn’t have any.  There was nothing she or anyone else else could do to ease the unfamiliarity and anxiety that came from this.  The unknown had a tendency to do that.  “It’s probably good, honestly.  As hard as this is, it’s a gift.  We can save a lot of people, ourselves included, if we can keep that sense of urgency about it all.  There has to be something important about this year, if we’re meant to make a difference at all.  Why else wouldn’t whatever brought us back here have not taken us to the start of 1981 instead?”

“I’m sure that was hard for you,” she empathized.  “getting tossed back into what probably feels like a living time capsule.  Especially because it sounds like a lot of us died around the same time.  I don’t have much of the story yet, but that much I could figure out from my conversation with Lily that sounds right.”  She sighed, running a hand through her hair.  “I went to see my family after I left Lily.  Neither of my parents nor my little sister remember our attack.  It’s so fucking arbitrary.  Why us?”

She smiled at the last bit.  “We will.  If we can change it all we’ll find a way to do so.  Maybe we can get you some company for your fortieth.  Twenty years,” she muttered the last part under her breath.  “Tell me something completely random about the future.  None of the heavy or sad stuff.  Something good, or even better, something weird.”

[mxrlenemckn]

chxrity-burbage​:

.

Charity understood that Marlene was trying to help, and that there was no way that she would know what had happened to her. Still, there was an incontrollable response to being touched that Charity couldn’t shake, now. Hugging Remus was different; she’d known him for so long that it was natural, wanting to reach out and grab him, and he had done it facing her. Being touched from behind where she was vulnerable and couldn’t see the other, it had triggered a very emotional response. Anyone who knew Charity in the past would have thought this behavior strange, surely. Then again, perhaps with Marlene it was different. The two of them hadn’t exactly gotten enough time for physical touch to feel like second nature. 

Nodding quietly, Charity agreed. A coffee shop would work fine, and hopefully they wouldn’t be followed. Banking on no one being there who had just seen their outburst, Charity slowly straightened up and took a breath. “Right, then. Let’s go.” Chairty pulled her jacket tighter around her, much like a child trying to hide in their own clothes. It was colder than she was used to, though secretly she wondered if that was because she had died in the summer time. Following behind Marlene, Charity couldn’t help but keep glancing over her shoulder every few seconds, the lingering feeling of someone watching them hovering. Shaking her head, Charity refocused on the other in front of them, thankful when they passed through the doors. 

Once they were sat at a small booth in the back of the shop, Charity slid in, head down as they tried to think of what to say first. “Erm… You know, by now, don’t you?”

...

If Charity was looking for any sort of reassurance Marlene was probably the worst person she could have come across.  She didn’t do things like this, didn’t reassure or comfort people in the street.  She used inappropriate humor to ease the tension, sure enough, but that didn’t seem to be something that would be effective in this circumstance.  “Um --” she smiled at her,  feeling unsure herself.  She wasn’t going to leave Charity, but she wasn’t going to get roped into an emotional conversation with a school friend -- it felt like a lifetime had passed since they last saw each other.  Although, she supposed it hadn’t been all that long in 1979.  Maybe she should owl Lily or Pandora.  They had always been better at the friendly sort of thing than she had.  “Of course.  Come on.”  She only glanced over her should a time or too, uncomfortable with the whole situation and not sure how to make it easier.

She hesitated.  After talking to Lily and Alice she had begun to realize the advantage they had in keeping quiet what they knew, in hoping that the Death Eaters didn’t remember.  She didn’t necessarily distrust Charity, but she hadn’t been on their side before Marlene died, so she wasn’t sure what to think now.  “Know what, exactly?”

[rocktheholygrail]

#me