Here is a list of what the person from my previous post does the same as myself without me noticing they've done/bought the same thing as me 99% of the time only to have them boldly tell me they have done it by prefacing with the phrase, "I was inspired by you" (It will seem like little things, but like I also said, I am complimented way more than their best friend and in front of their best friend about my hair, skin, and sometimes outfits; the term "goddess" is a very popular word that she uses on me and at this point I am very uncomfortable by her being around me). Some of these things didn't even make me think twice about her doing them, but after a while, it got a little too specific.
●Orders the same food as me if I place my order first
●Buys a similar phone case to mine even though we have different phones
●Buys the same shirt a week after me after she offered to buy me anything from a specific store
●After she found out I had already bought a book she was going to gift to me, she decided to keep it instead of returning it even when she said she wasn't interested in the series because there were "too many books"
Now here's a list of things said to/around me that felt somewhat controlling and odd, even though they could be worse, I'm not going to invalidate how uncomfortable they made me feel (I would like to communicate to her how it makes me feel but I always feel blindsided and I'm in the presence of her best friend and don't want to upset anybody; but I'm still working on this type of communication).
●"I don't understand why women wear those push up bras." (Now she was talking about the extreme ones that nearly make your breasts touch your chin, but she's maybe the larger size of an A cup and I'm a C cup so she's obviously talking about someone who looks different than her and she clearly doesn't understand how uncomfortable that weight can be and when it's lifted it's so relieving.)
●"Don't make your character hot or people will be weird about it." and "Oh, I thought he had longer hair. You should keep it long." (My character is very attractive and his hair grows because he is literally ostracized from civilization. When he is welcomed back, he is able to clean and groom himself for the first time in half a year. She has no say in what he looks like, but by the sounds of it, she thinks he's "hotter" with long hair.)
●"My [relative] didn't really mean anything by it." (She told me that her relative asked if I was "really that pale" and she told her yes, which is the truth, I am in fact decently fair skinned, and the relative said, "Oh...." That is not postive, that is not a compliment. Growing up, I know it's a negative remark. Why she had to tell me what the relative said when I was perfectly ignorant to their conversation greatly confuses me.)
●"It's just going to give it more character." (She had made me printed stickers and it rained while I was leaving and they got wet and the ink smeared. I informed her of this, she made the remark, and I said I can't put them on my waterbottle because I thought they were going to be of the same quality of other stickers that don't bleed when wet/washed. She repeated herself a few more times, ignoring my disappointment. I threw them away when I got home.)
●"I'm sorry. I don't know why I didn't say anything." (We were shopping and an old man yelled at me in front of several people. I was able to deescalate the situation, I should have just walked away, but instead of standing up for me or walking away with me, she buys something from him, proceeds to try to give it to me later, and when I said I don't want anything that came from that man, she says the quote.)
●"[Relative] already bought the tickets so I'm going with them." (Her best friend and myself were already planning to see this movie with her, but because someone in her family bought tickets for the same movie she cancelled on us. Now it worked out because we didn't buy tickets yet and based on reviews decided on not seeing the movie. But this is not the first time she has changed plans last minute on us because of family. And I'm not saying you shouldn't change plans for a family emergency or once in a lifetime thing, but if you already plan something with your friends and you're a grown woman, you tell your family, "Sorry, I already made plans.")
I'm not trying to make her look like this horrible friend. She's very polite and thoughtful. Maybe I'm the one who's changed. She now seems a little too codependent for my taste. I just don't like being around her as there's a chance she could be "inspired" by something else I do or say something that ignores my feelings/makes me uncomfortable. My hair and skin are going to stay the same, so those comments probably aren't going anywhere. I know it's best to communicate rather than ignore problems, but I'm going to take it slow by not hanging out with her as much.
