When I turned 3 I wished with such intention that I could wear a sparkling pink shoe with led on the front. When I turned 4 I discussed with the teacher that I wasn't on the wrong line because the other one was for boys. When I turned 5 I wished so hard that I could wear a bikini next summer. When I turned 6 I spent a lot time thinking about which superpower I wanted to have: Mind control: So I could make everyone understand that I wasn’t a boy When I turned 7 all I wanted was a pretty long hair. When I turned 8 I was so jealous about my classmates being able to wear skirts and tank tops on summer. I don't remember my next two birthdays. All I remember is an immense blur. When I turned 11 I asked for a purple Kipling backpack. When it was denied I implored for at least the pencil case. I wasn’t allowed neither. When I turned 12 I wished I could wear red lipstick. When I turned 13 I wanted to wear silver hoops. I was allowed to pierce only my right ear. I ended up using a heavy earring shaped as a scythe: Looking in the mirror it looked like a hoop and the weight on my earlobe helped me daydream I was wearing girl earring. I celebrated my 14th birthday with the best kiss I ever have (to this day!) When I turned 15 all I wanted was die. When I turned 16 all I wanted was live. When I turned 17 I had my second depression and there is a 8 months gapthat I have absolutely no memory. When I was 18 I knew I was on the wrong place, doing the wrong bachelor's degree. When I made 19 I was on another wrong degree, but at least closer to what I wanted. When I was 20 I was being hired as wedding photographer! And from all the 487 weddings that I went, I touched every single dress. The next 4 years were the best of my life, and during those years I bought my first 10 panties. I used to wear it under my boy’s underwear, I washed them during shower and dried them overnight for about an hour on the back of the refrigerator. When I turned 24 I got married with the love of my life. I don’t think she knew what meant for me, but once she asked to do my makeup and offered to do nails. I have no idea where I was when I turned 25, because I was working inside a cruise ship. I was divorced by 25, and another huge depression took place during most of the next year. I visited Valhalla (my birthplace) for the first time near my 27th birthday. Everything would be so much easier if I just had been born as a girl. I didn't celebrate my 28th birthday: I was on Navy Bootcamp crying. One my 29th birthday the world was locked down, and by the end of Covid’s first year, I dresses as a girl, from head to toe. For the first time i saw my true self in the mirror, smiling back at me. I cried for the next 6 hours. I bought my first dress, when I turned 30. For my 31st birthday, I gave myself a cute pink and purple gift that made me scream and feel like a true girl. Now, on my next birthday, in 2023, I will abandon my boy’s life and become the woman I was born to be. I own it to my true self. I’ve waited enough.
So, open up your wings and come fly with me. Juliet (AKA The Crow)
