TRIGGER WARNING! mentions of: self-harm, suicidal-ideation, suicide attempts I don't romanticise these behaviors and try to be as respectful while writing about these difficult themes. These headcanons are just my thoughts, so if you disagree just keep scrolling and have a wonderful day x
Was a very depressed, thus suicidal teen - keeps carrying a feeling of guilt for the death of his parents. He'd self-harm as a form of punishment while expressing his internal pain into fysical one, this would also be his silent scream for help.
He never told Alfred how he felt, nobody taught him to express and talk about his emotions. It was his body that was his language. His red tired eyes, the blue circles under them. His slouched posture, his scrawny body and face as an effect of his loss of apetite. The disheveled hair that kept falling over his eyes, like a curtain shielding him from the world. At last the fresh scars, red irritated skin, purple bruises and deep scratches.
Alfred wouldn't pry or push the boy to talk. He'd just silently tend to the wounds, clean, desinfect and bandage the cuts. Put ice packs on the bruises, massage them with ointment.
Then he'd make Bruce some warm ginger or mint tea with honey and his favorite buiscits. He'd brush the boys hair, untangling knots.
Bruce would end up resting his head on his butler's shoulder, inhaling his cologne that smelled like home, comfort and safety.
Small tears would roll down his cheek which Alfred would wipe away. They'd sit like this, with Alfred carresing Bruce's hair. Most times the exhausted boy would fall soundly asleep on his cartakers lap.
Bruce had multiple suicide attempts in the span of the years: at some point Alfred ended up feeling so distraught and helpless that he'd spend the nights in Bruce's bedroom - keeping watch on the boy so that Bruce couldn't keep trying to hurt himself. He'd also hold the crying and shaking boy after his nightterrors. Alfred would gently lul him back to sleep.
The depression didn't dissapear with age, Bruce just learned to mask more. His suicidal tendencies would translate into his recklessness as Batman. Instead of self inflicted pain, his body would now be littered in battle scars.
Bruce feels that he deserves to be in such pain. He sought and found meaning in his suffering.
Alfred would wait in the batcave, ready to tend to Bruce's wounds, he did it masterfully thanks to his expierience as a war medic.
There wouldn't be a day where some part of Bruce's body wasn't bandaged. They'd rip and stain under his suit, with no time to heal as he'd go for patrol the next night.
Even as a teenager, he'd wear long sleeves to cover his bandaged arms and wrists.
Though he knew who he would leave behind if he were to be gone. His loyal guardian, who dedicated his life to the Wayne's. Who took the role of a second father upon himself when tradgedy struck.
Bruce never wanted his actions to transfer his agony on someone else. He didn't want to be the cause of more hurt. He knew the world was already drowned in pain. Somewhere deep inside he kept being thankfull for his failed attempts.