The Kit and Ty fight is actually fucking insane really.
Because neither one owes the other one anything but feels as though they owe eachother everything.
Ty does not owe Kit an apology for going through with the ritual. The world he may owe an apology to but Kit? Kit knew full well what they were doing he just couldn't face the reality until it was too late. He couldn't face his fear of losing Ty until he realised there was more than one way to lose someone and if Ty did this then he would lose him anyway.
Kit is not owed an apology. But yet he is.
Ty is not responsible for the fact that Kit didn't express his concerns or back out sooner.
Ty does not owe Kit an apology for Kit deciding to help him.
Ty does not even owe Kit an apology for not responding to his declaration. It was too much to process for both of them. The sad thing is Ty did not owe Kit love back. Just because Kit tells him he loves him does not mean that Ty has to say it back. It is the socially acceptable thing but Ty is not responsible for the trauma Kit has around love and the expressing of it.
And yet he did hurt Kit when he did that. A hurt so deep it left scars on Kits bones. It's obvious that Johnny was not a big expresser of love and he was Kit's main human contact for a long time. Kit aches for love, like a kind of constant ache in your chest of need. So when Ty didn't respond the damage that did despite not being intentional was devastating.
The other thing Kit told Ty what he wanted then and there. "I will help you but not if you do this Ty". Kit made it clear that if Ty followed through with the ritual he would lose Kit that Kit would not help him anymore even if he did love him. Whether Ty didn't understand what Kit meant or choose to ignore it he can't be surprised that Kit left. He did exactly what he told Ty he would do.
Kit needs to forgive Ty for asking him to help him, he needs to forgive himself for agreeing to help him. Kit needs to accept that he should have intervened sooner, that his declaration was poorly timed for Ty who was already at the maximum amount of input he could bear.
But Ty needs to accept that he hurt Kit by not saying anything at all. He needs to find a way to see and ease that hurt or Kit will always be fearful.
Ty is not owed an apology either. But also he is.
Kit broke his trust. He feels lied to even if Kit never outright lied. Kit told him he loved him but he hardly has time to process that, when Ty is clearly a process and digest it and split it apart before he reacts kind of boy. He is not okay right now, grieving while in denial about that grief. His main sources of comfort and steadiness gone (Livvy and Julian) and now all he has to rely on is this plan and Kit. But now he can't rely on Kit to help him and he feels untethered again. The only thing he can do is try to stay to the plan, show Kit it's going to be okay, bring Livvy back and the world will be steady again, he can breath again. But it doesn't work. And now he doesn't know what he feels it's a new feeling of pain he can't handle and Kit is still in shock behind him frozen in place.
What Ty did was illegal and dangerous. He put himself and Kit, his family and honestly the world in horrendous danger. He did this having just witnessed the harm such actions can cause and after having been warned against it.
However arguably the worst thing is doing what he did to Livvy herself. He has taken away all agency and her basic rights because he loved her too much to imagine living in a world without her. He didn't see what Kit did, that having Livvy like that was not better than losing her in fact it might be worse.
Kit can see the wrongness of what they did to his friend. Can you imagine living with feeling you had committed a crime against nature and had done so to someone you loved? I think a large part of what Kit feels is guilt for what he had a part in doing to Livvy.
Both Kit and Ty were in positions of immense vulnerability. To outside forces but also to each other. Ty was the only person Kit had left in the world. Ty had so much pain and grief he couldn't be expected to process Kit's reliance on him. To understand the almost pressure Kit was feeling to follow along with him. Kit should have recognised that Ty wasn't okay but also Kit is not responsible for Ty and was grieving himself.
Then there is the aftermath. The secrets they must now both keep. The size of this secret to keep for someone you no longer wish to speak to is quite intense. The fight on the battlefield is the last they speak and it's not speaking it's screaming.
"I wish I'd never met you" and it's not a lie. I think Kit has never really lied to to Ty. He said that because he meant it, he wished he had never met Ty because if he hadn't he wouldn't be in this pain he is in now. He would never have to face what Ty did, what Kit helped him do. Not knowing Ty would have been better to this feeling of guilt and pain and grief and love.
The interesting thing is that at this point Kit is already done. He wants no more to do with Ty but Ty is still in it. The last thing Ty heard from Kit was his love and his declaration of never wanting to be apart from him. Ty thinks this can be fixed, it's what he has seen his whole life! People who love each other fight but they don't stop loving each other they stay around, Ty has only ever seen pretty positive associations with love and arguments. Love always conquered anger. But for Kit it's over already. Anger is stronger, guilt is stronger.
"I wish I'd never met you" oh god the agony, your first friend, the boy who choose to stay because you asked him to, who let you give him his first mark, who held you while you cried, who makes you blush when he smiles at you, your Watson saying "I wish I'd never met you". The confusion?? the pain??
Yet they protect each other moments after this, Kit with his magic and Ty with his slingshot, yet they still think of each other and ask after each other.
In Kit's mind Ty put and end to them when he cast that spell.
In Ty's mind Kit put an end to them when he left.
How do you even begin to pull apart who owes who what when you owe each other everything?
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