Eh.

Who even cares. This is my complaint page.

[mycruelreality]

✨"I'm not depressed enough to be allowed to have depression"✨🥲

[mycruelreality]

I get looked at and thought of as peaceful, calm, mentally stable, everythings good.

So if I show anything that could flag that, "hey, maybe I'm not so mentally stable? " I get shut diwn right away and told or looked at as if theyre saying, "Oh, you're ok, you're just overreacting, it'll be good." Then they proceed to tell me something that could count as "worse" in their life and totally disregard me.

Thats just anoyher of the reasons why I don't talk to irl people or show them my true feelings? Makes sense? Idk, but Imtured of being verbally cast aside, so instead I'll just silently listen because tbh, I don't see it as worth my time to keep seeking the comfort that will never come? So? I gave up on that a while ago.

no one truly wants to actually listen to my problems even if they say they do. They just wanna say how much worse their life is than mine tk make me feel better, but hey, guess what, it doesnt. It'll only make me more depressed and feel ignored. Idkk. Wtf though. Why does my brain have to be like this.

i hate my brain

i feel like such a selfish person

[mycruelreality]

....

does the depression and anxiety ever just get to a point of overwhelming, except, it all becomes nothing? And you feel nothing, think nothing, have no motivation. Even laying down feels like nothing at all. Don't know what to do with life, just..feels like you're stuck in some empty void in your mind with nothing happening. No tears left to cry, no anxiety left to be worried. You just, lay on the floor, taking nothing in really. Nothing productive is getting done. But what's the point? You can't feel anything anyways. The outside world suddenly has no effect. No wants for material items. No need for life sustaining items. It all feel worthless and not worthless at the same time, to where it cancels out. So to put it short.. you're just an unmoving lump with no thoughts or physical/emotional feelings. idek how to truly put it. 

[mycruelreality]

i...just fought a trio consisting of two hilichurls and a samachurl.

I defeated the samachurl, but the other two hilichurls kept walking without even coming to fight me...

they just

left their comrad to die xD

[mycruelreality]

My dad is like a ticking time bomb today...

don't set him off

don't upset him

don't step out of line...

Yep. Merry Christmas. Happy Holidays.

[mycruelreality]

Its Christmas Fucking Eve

why the fuck do you feel the need to be an uptight ass today.

I'm to tired to even be upset. Just irritated.

So kill me or whatever.

[mycruelreality]

I dont, want to sit through

your pity party

everytime

we talk

i cant, I m s o r r y

I dont mind listening to problems, but, really, you need to stop thinking youre the fucking unluckiest person in the world

stop feeling sorry for yourself all the time

i dont want you to think that way

you think youre alone in this?

what the hell?

then what am I?

Who am I?

why dont I tell ypu my problems? because they get brushed off and overshadowed by your "worse life"

this is why i dont tell people my problems

im bitter about this

but this is why, I dont share my problems

theyre always seen as "not bad enough"? what? do i not matter?

[mycruelreality]

This is so Relatable

“I don’t think I’ve ever told anyone about these feelings. I don’t want others to worry because the first thing anyone thinks when you tell them you have thoughts about hurting or killing yourself is that you’re absolutely going to do it and they begin to panic. Yes, I have suicidal thoughts, but I don’t want to die.”

一From Michigan State Univeristy

[mycruelreality]

im really reposting again, because, hi, hello, my feelings still havent left

[mycruelreality]

College update no one asked for

i still want to go to a different college

people and teachers are nice and all

but it, just doesnt feel like i can fit in at all with anyone

[mycruelreality]

how can people be so rude to someone they hardly know

it really just pisses me off

they talk as if they know the person, but they really have no fucking idea what that person is going through or what they're thinking.

commenting rude things to, make a change, or whatever just, isnt doing it for me.

[mycruelreality]

O my

People will never be happy with anything

Complain about everything

No one can write a fictional story without getting backlash because, you shouldn't write it if its wrong in the real world ...

Idk...

The world is a mess rn

[mycruelreality]

The feeling when....

You've helped your crush date someone else and give them dating advice

Once in middle school

Once summer before college

Im really losing here man haha

[amonglilies]

epilogue

[trash-possum-alchemist]

I love that part in Brotherhood when Ed freaks out after Riza asks if he loves Winry and she does this little subtle smile like, “You are so obviously in love but I won’t call you out on it.”

Meanwhile, in the manga...

“Methinks he doth protest too much.”

[mycruelreality]

I hate myself so much for not being able to fully look forward for college next year

[mycruelreality]

I should feel happier about my opportunities to go to college, but I just feel sad everytime i think about what school I chose and how the other schools would put me in a ton of debt if I went elsewhere

Its killing me

How am I supposed to get over this?

Isnt college life supposed to be stressful but you get a lot of new and exciting experiences? Why cant I feel happy about it?

Why do I still have to feel sad about the college thats affordable?

I hate myself for it but I can't change my feelings

Sorry mom

Almost wished I never applied to it

[mycruelreality]

I’m fortunate to be able to go to college

I’m fortunate to be able to go to college

I’m fortunate to be able to go to college

I’m fortunate to be able to go to college

I’m fortunate to be able to go to college

I’m fortunate to be able to go to college

I’m fortunate to be able to go to college

I’m fortunate to be able to go to college

I’m fortunate to be able to go to college

I’m fortunate to be able to go to college

I’m fortunate to be able to go to college

I’m fortunate to be able to go to college

I’m fortunate to be able to go to college

I’m fortunate to be able to go to college

I’m fortunate to be able to go to college

I’m fortunate to be able to go to college

I’m fortunate to be able to go to college

I’m fortunate to be able to go to college

I’m fortunate to be able to go to college

I’m fortunate to be able to go to college

If I keep telling myself that, maybe I can feel better about going to a school I, don’t want to go to, but can afford and won’t drown in debt

I’m going to college, to get a degree, to help me learn more about IS and comp science, to get a stable job, so I can live life hopefully comfortably

College experience?...I’ll study, maybe join a club or two and get an on campus part time job.. ....

I still don’t want to go there fully

A is my best option for studies

B is best for the atmosphere

C came best in money

Money...always wins

I’m fortunate to be able to go to college

I’m fortunate to be able to go to college

I’m fortunate to be able to go to college

I’m fortunate to be able to go to college