Rana

Unraveled exclusively on tumblr <3

[myheartwasglassyoudroppedit]

Strings

Staring at my phone screen,

wondering why I feel this shade of blue,

a shade I have never known before.

Intense, yet subtle.

It only finds me when you are away,

never when you are near.

For someone so full of personality,

I feel stripped of it now.

Waiting for you to pull the string

so I can perform for you again,

again and again.

Even as the string grows loose,

I fear that if you pull it once more,

it will finally tear,

and I will never perform for you again.

I want you to pick me up and play with me,

no strings,

no shelf to place me back on,

just you and me,

all the time.

But when my daydreams of being your favorite doll,

your favorite toy,

begin to fade,

I am left with the truth:

I am still just a toy.

And when you leave the apartment,

I do not know who I am.

I do not know how to act,

what to do,

or where to place the parts of me

that only seem to exist for you.

I lose myself, piece by piece,

until you come back

and use me again.

[myheartwasglassyoudroppedit]

[myheartwasglassyoudroppedit]

I have always mistaken people for books; believing every silence could be translated, every glance annotated. Yet you remain the only language that refused to be learned.

[myheartwasglassyoudroppedit]

if a constellation is forbidden a name,

does the sky forget it ever burned?

[myheartwasglassyoudroppedit]

You left the windows open and every door locked. I stood outside long enough to mistake light for welcome, but love has never entered through broken glass. You still recite, I don’t like girls anymore, like an incantation against memory, as though repetition could unlove what already happened. Sometimes I wonder whether we were ever real. Then I remember: only one of us keeps trying to rename what the other still calls love.

[petaltexturedskies]

Katherine Mansfield, in a diary entry dated 14 October 1922, from Letters and Journals of Katherine Mansfield

[heavensghost]

Words by Mary Oliver engraved in rock

[myheartwasglassyoudroppedit]

So love is never the cure ?? THANKS a lot Olivia thanks a lot

[myheartwasglassyoudroppedit]

I want to be sad.

I want to be crying over you.

Because when I stop hurting,

what proof will I have that you were here at all?

[myheartwasglassyoudroppedit]

The wound is this:

Being wanted in fragments.

Being admired in pieces.

Being collected

but never chosen.

[myheartwasglassyoudroppedit]

A winter with no promise of spring

is still easier to survive

than a season that changes every hour.

[myheartwasglassyoudroppedit]

What am I supposed to do

with a man who reaches for my hand

while explaining why he cannot hold it?

[myheartwasglassyoudroppedit]

As if I were the ocean

and he was dying of thirst

while refusing to drink.

[myheartwasglassyoudroppedit]

If I am such a blessing,

why are you always giving me away?

[myheartwasglassyoudroppedit]

I carried suitcases packed before arrivals,

goodbyes folded neatly between my clothes.

[myheartwasglassyoudroppedit]

But I have always been good at leaving.

I think I learned young

that people are seasons,

not monuments.

[myheartwasglassyoudroppedit]

I hope you remember me kindly.

I hope one day my name brings softness to your chest instead of guilt.