My Humiliating Existence

As a blubering mess, I have emassed a vast collection of humiliating stories- each one worse than the previous. Why not share those stories with like-minded people (we can pray for the earth to swallow us together- bonding time!)

[myhumiliatingexistence]

I could do with a few doughnuts 🥲 https://www.instagram.com/p/CTcxh8MMueVMvUTM97ocrPwCu8Rmszcy8ScEZA0/?utm_medium=tumblr

[myhumiliatingexistence]

Sometimes I just wanna poke their eyes out, maybe then they won't stare- I'm not a painting, I'm a human.

[myhumiliatingexistence]

Texas Abortion Ban: A Crime On Women

There are many things that could be said about this but one thing sticks out like a saw thumb: this law is one of many that seeks to control, manipulate and abuse a womans body and her life.

The mere suggestion of this law conveys the ideaology that seeks to confine women into a tiny, suffocating box labeled- breeder.

A womans body and her life isn't here on earth to soley produce more children. As a girl myself, this is unacceptable. There are many circumstances that can prevent the woman from having a child which they have simply ignored. I won't list these here because it is self explanatory; those with compassion and understanding will consider the effects this may have on the mental and physical well-being of a woman.

If a fetus is a person at just 6 weeks then the law should encompass the male counterpart; if the woman is tied to such a life changing commitent then why is it that the male is not included in this equation. Afterall, they too, are the father. Child support should begin as soon as they hit six weeks. That child should also be considered a US citizens, therefore deportation shouldn't be a topic up for discussion.

Yet I dont see the law bending oer backwards to hunder their own lives. I don't see the law as a disdvantage to the male counterpart either. Why?

Simple.

Society preaches about the supporting its citizens however as soon as they start loosing money or a simply bored they find entertainment. And who is that entertainment. Women. Whether that be shaming women for how they dress or controlling what they can and can't do with their own body. They remove any options from her and tell her to fend for herself.

If you want to ban abortion then provide single mothers with the money they need to give their children full-filling lives. Provide struggling families with the funds to grow. Provide rape victims with the mental support they are desperate to get, imprison the wrong-doers. Because that is justice.

This law may be pro-choice. However there is now choice involved.

[myhumiliatingexistence]

Why won't she watch a movie with me?

Why won't she watch a movie with me? She only watches movies she's seen before, skipping the moments that are in any way morose because she believes that movies are meant to entertain us instead of bringing us anguish or unwanted resentment- we watch movies to escape the hurt and pain of the real world so why would we want to experience that in entertainment?  If she watches a new movie, she'll spoil it beforehand ensuring she knows what to expect. She has a similar process for books too or plays, how is loss and sorrow and fear entertaining- it isn't, it's emotional warfare, emotional manipulation that society has made us subjects to. They want us to cry when a child is starving or when a soldier comes home to their family. They want us to laugh at the stupid antics of teenagers or friends playing practical jokes. They want us to fear the unknown supernatural beings that stalk us or isolation- that lonesome feeling we get when silence becomes deafening, almost claustrophobic.  She views this as conditioning and refuses to wholly conform. She has seen many men cry in the reality of life. She has seen many women tear down political abominations that belong to the patriarchy. She has seen many children bend the knee to accommodate for their parents' failures. She's seen hardship yet as a lone woman she cannot fulfill the goals of entire nations therefore she rebels in this one, small way. It's merely a personal victory. A victory she alone celebrates but she celebrates nonetheless because she chooses to avoid facing emotional turmoil at a time when she should be basking in the moment of peace. She turns away from it. She simply ignores its presence until it disappeared. She doesn't watch the climax.  That's why she won't watch a movie with you... she fears your judgment, like many fear hers.

[myhumiliatingexistence]

Boys, Men and Book Boyfriends

As a fellow book nerd, I have amassed a minture library in my hovel (bedroom) and alongside these tales of bravery, loyalty, friendship, love and adventures comes my favroutie feature of any book ever.

Book Boyfriends :)

Everyone knows that these fictional men written by women (and women only) are the defiinition of perfection however my dumb brain took it one step too far not so long ago.

I was having a converastion with a guy (who knew they were capable of such thing right?) and he asked what my type was. Now unfortunately, instead of going through a list of traits my brain immedietly said and I quote, "Aaron Warner looks, Cassian personality," Like what? I said this to the guy (because I have no filter of course) and his face scrunched into a ballsack look-a-like. It was as if I had told him I had an eye on each of my toes and grow an extra arm every full moon.

Now I tried to explain it in more detail but I think I just ended up insulting the poor guy, I mean he was nice- a little boring? Sure, but sometimes boring is good...

This left me wondering, why do girls and women across the world fanatasize of these men and ignore the very obvious red flags that are literally on the pages right before us? Why do we drool over these fictious men instead of looking for reall men, with bones and skin and not from a fantasy world?

There's a trend circling TikTok currently, where people claim whether a celebrity was a written by a man or by a woman. I'll explain this to those living under rocks-

Written by men: men- usually sexist, racist, controlling, abusive, old (you get the idea) women- usually skinny and blonde, perfect assests, young

Written by women: men- usually femenists, unconventional looks, caring, understaning, supportive etc women- usually badass, doesn't hold back, feirce, intelligent etc

You get the idea.

Most men from fictious worlds are viewed as men written by women because they are the men that all women want. The perfect knight that respects and adores them which seemes to be a hard find in our society. As of now, women are fighting for more rights and opportunities more and more, advocating for a chance to be heard and not objectified. Whilst we struggle in our real lifes to find those worthy of our time, we direct our attention to the men in the worlds we use to escape reality. As we indulge our need for these amazing stories we also find ourselves falling head over heals for words written on a page. Words that have a name and a backstory. Words that comfort us. Words that seem lost then found by other words which we wish we were.

Many of us have definitly grown attached to these characters and find ourselves longing to see them in the flesh- we know its unrealistic and it's honestly annoying when people judge us for this. But what else am I meant to do- I need an escape and they are my escape.