Lena paused at the door, listening. The short hairs on the back of her neck stood up, a tingling sensation running down her spine. She wasn’t sure what tipped her off, but after the fifth kidnapping and three or four attempted murders in her own spaces -office, lab, here- she always listened to those instincts. Kara never complained if it was a false alarm when Lena activated her signal watch.
Her thumb hovered over the button. She took another step inside and the door latched behind her. She was about to press when Kara said,
“Please don’t press that.”
Something was off. Her voice was raspy, as though she had a sore throat, and oddly distorted. It was as if she spoke through a damaged speaker. Lena edged from the foyer into the kitchen, her heart still pounding.
“I’m not going to hurt you.”
Kara was standing in the living room in her super suit, or so Lena thought. Her cape was there, but the silhouette was different. Lena reached for the light switch and again Kara spoke.
“Don’t. Please.”
“Kara?”
“I’m not your Kara. I’m just… passing through.”
“Passing through my penthouse?”
Lena ran her thumb around the button, ready to press.
“Are you together in this world?”
Lena froze. The figure in her living room, Kara-but-not, was holding the framed photo of Lena with Kara smiling together, the one she’d once shattered. Kara had bought her a new frame for it when they were healing, still working out who they were going to be together, if their friendship could survive with a foundation that had so profoundly crumbled.
The glint caught Lena’s eye. One of Kara’s hands. At first she thought it was a medal glove but that wasn’t right. The shape was wrong, the fingers too thin, skeletal and claw-like. As her eyes adjusted, Lena could pick out more details.
Good God. The whole side of her face was missing, rebuilt into something inhuman and skeletal. A faint emerald glow from her chest and eye cast a pallid light across the living room.
“She’s my best friend,” said Lena.
“Best friend,” the creature whispered, her voice even harsher and more distorted.
“What do you want?”
“I told you, I’m passing through. I won’t be here long. But… can I look at you?”
“Look at me? I’m sorry, I don’t understand.”
“Just let me look at you and I’ll go. Promise me you won’t scream or call me a monster.”
Lena swallowed hard.
“Should I turn on the light?”
“I would rather you didn’t.”
“Alright, then.”
The figure slowly replaced the photograph and turned, moving towards Lena. She limped, just a little, left foot dragging. Lena gasped.
It was Kara, but not. She had been… mutilated was the only word Lena could find for it. Half her face, her right arm, her leg, and worst of all, a gaping hole in her chest that contained a chunk of vile green Kryptonite burning inside. Her skin was deathly pallid, almost blue, raked through with sickly green streaks surrounded by faint bruises, as if her blood itself was poisoning her.
“My God,” Lena breathed.
“You’re so beautiful,” Kara said, her remaining eye so full of sadness and regret that Lena felt tears welling in her own.
When Kara wept in return, she wept verdant blood. She drew closer, and Lena stood stock still as Kara pressed a corpse-cold palm to her cheek.
“It’s been so long since I heard your heartbeat,” she said. “Thank you.”
“W-what happened to you?”
“Your brother, what else? He impaled me with a Kryptonite harpoon. You saved me. It’s almost funny. The Metallo Protocol kept me alive. If you can call this living.”
“I’m so sorry,” Lena whispered. “Can I help you? Is there something I could do?”
Kara shook her head, mechanical joints in her neck grinding. “There’s no cure for death, zhao.”
Lena blinked. Zhao? Was that Kryptonian? She wasn’t sure what it meant.
The cold palm fell away from her cheek.
“There must be some way I can help,” said Lena.
“In my world I killed your brother,” said Kara.
“In this world, I did. For her.”
“She loves you.”
Lena flinched. It felt like a bucket of cold water had been dumped over her and her legs went weak. She had to steady herself on the kitchen island.
“What?”
“Kara. She loves you.”
“How… why do you say that?”
“I have visited thousands of worlds. Thousands of timelines. There are many where you don’t even exist, where I don’t. But in all the ones I’ve found with the both of us, there is one constant: Kara Zor-El loves Lena Luthor. It’s inevitable, it’s like gravity. There is something in all of me that must love you.”
“You’re traveling across dimensions?”
She nodded, closing her one eye. “I’m searching. Before I killed Lex, he used his masterstroke against me. He couldn’t kill me, so he hit me where he could do the most damage. He sent Lena to the Phantom Zone before I ripped his heart out of his chest. Then something happened… the yellow aliens told me there was a crisis, a multiversal collapse that split the phantom zone into infinite shards.”
“Yes, the Crisis, but there should be only one Earth now. Your world should have been merged with ours.”
Kara sighed, a broken, pained rasp. “What happens when you subtract infinity from infinity?”
Lena frowned. “I see.”
“I know she’s out there. I can feel her. I thought your world might be the one, but there’s another me here, and the wrong you.”
“I hope you find her.”
“Thank you. May I ask you something?”
“Go ahead” said Lena.
“Do you love her?”
Lena didn’t need to ask who she meant. She felt a lump form in her throat even as her chest fluttered. This cold broken wreckage of another Kara stared into her as if to parse the strands of her soul.
“Yes,” said Lena.
Kara edged closer. “Then tell her. Please. Don’t make her wait. She’s too scared to tell you. She’s like all of us- she’s so afraid of her own strength that she won’t hold anyone truly close for fear she’ll crush them. She’s afraid of losing you, or losing you again. She’s lost everything. Her world, her people, her culture, two mothers and two fathers- there is so much grief in her that it could freeze a newborn star but you, you are the light that shines in the darkness. You are her red sunrise.”
Lena said nothing, fighting the tremble in her lip.
“I must go. She’s out there and I have to keep trying to find her.”
She turned away and Lena caught her arm, gently tugging. She stopped.
“Wait?”
Kara turned back to her, and Lena darted in close and pressed a soft kiss to her cold lips.
“What?” Kara blurted.
“For luck. You’re going to find her.”
“I wish I had your faith.”
Lena now pressed a palm to Kara’s cheek.
“You will. You’re Supergirl. You can do anything.”
Kara smiled with half a face and pulled free, activating a device on her belt. A portal opened before her, filling the penthouse with blazing light. She stepped through and was gone.
Lena stumbled to the sofa and collapsed onto it, hugging herself as the tears flowed.
A few moments later, the familiar sound of stacked heels thudded on her balcony and the door slid open.
Kara, her Kara, swept into the penthouse, frantic.
“Lena, what happened? I saw that flash. I was out on patrol and… are you crying?”
Kara knelt beside her and brushed her hair back from her eyes with her soft warm hand and said, “Baby, are you okay?”
Lena looked at her, really looked at her, and was simply overwhelmed. There was so much depth in her blue eyes, so much kindness and compassion and love.
“I am now,” said Lena.
Kara blinked a few times. “I don’t understand. What happened?”
“I promise I’m tell you someday, but first I have to ask you something.”
“Ask,” said Kara. “Anything you want, you know that.”
Lena curled a finger around Kara’s chin and watched her eyes widen, first in confusion and then in nervous anticipation as Lena bent towards her and tilted her head just slightly to press their lips together.
At first Kara didn’t react and Lena thought she’d made a terrible mistake, but then something in Kara came around and she lunged onto the couch, pressing Lena down to the cushions.
“Lena,” Kara breathed. “What… how… do you… with me?”
Lena hugged her fiercely.
“Stay with me, Kara. That’s what I want. Stay with me.”
nobody think about 4-year-old lena being carried by a paramedic telling her knock-knock jokes, calling her brave, and playing with her hair to keep her distracted so she won't notice her mom behind her, being pulled out of the lake in a body bag
Lena let out an undignified squeak as she grabbed hold of the bookshelf beside her in an effort to not land on her face.
“I’m so sorry! Are you okay?”
Lena turned, wiggling her foot back into her heels properly, before freezing, eyes widening at the caped figure now scrambling to her feet.
An array of books and magazines were spread out on the floor, presumably the culprit of her latest near death experience. It was as though National City’s newly revealed superhero had been sitting in between the bookshelves on the library floor… studying?
Lena clutched the cheesy romance novel she had been too busy reading to her chest as Supergirl looked at her in concern.
“Miss?”
Lena’s brain finally restarted and she cleared her throat, straightening her blazer. “Yes. I’m fine. Thank you.”
“You’re sure you’re not hurt?” Supergirl was wringing the edge of her cape in her fingers, looking far too nervous for someone who was suspected to be the strongest being on Earth by several sapphic blogs that Lena most definitely did not read.
“I’m fine.” She reached out to put a hand on Supergirl’s forearm in an impulse comfort gesture. “I promise.”
Supergirl seemed to relax slightly, some of the tension seeping from her shoulders. She held out a hand. “I’m Kara.”
Any tension that had left her immediately returned tenfold, eyes widening in panic as she froze.
Lena bit back a smile and took Kara’s hand, shaking it despite Kara’s lack of movement. “Lena. And don’t worry - your secret’s safe with me.”
Kara deflated, running a hand through her hair. “Alex is going to kill me.”
Lena laughed and patted Kara’s bicep (definitely the strongest being on Earth). “Maybe you should stop saying names now.”
Kara grimaced. “Oops.” She looked like she was about to say something else but stopped and looked at Lena again. “Wait… are you Lena Luthor?”
Lena straightened up, careful mask falling into place to try to hide the way her heart sped up and her throat constricted. “Yes.”
But before she could launch into her speech about how she was different from the rest of her family and only wanted to help, Kara lit up, crouching down to shuffle through her piles of literature until she came up with an issue of a science magazine from a few years ago.
“I just read your article about sustainable building and how we can introduce cost-effective eco-friendly measures to construction to reduce the damage done to the environment and promote a symbiotic relationship with nature.”
Lena blinked.
Kara almost poked herself in the eye before redirecting the movement to brush a strand of hair behind her ear. “Sorry, I just thought it was really interesting. You’re probably tired of people asking you about your work.”
Lena’s eyebrows rose. “No I… I don’t mind.”
Kara smiled and Lena found her heart racing for an entirely different reason. She redirected her attention to the books scattered on the floor.
“So what’s National City’s resident superhero doing studying civil engineering, first aid and… veterinary science on the floor of the library?”
Kara blushed and knelt down to start scooping up all her things. “Sorry - I know I should have been at a desk I just got carried away.”
The pile of books was up to Kara’s eyebrows when she stood up and Lena laughed, taking the top third of them from her. “And I shouldn’t have been reading and walking. But that doesn’t answer my question.”
Supergirl shrugged, toeing at the worn carpet with her red boots. “I’m new at the whole superhero thing. I don’t know where to freeze breath a building to hold it up or how to save someone who’s got water in their lungs from almost drowning. The other day I rescued a snake from a tree and tried to wrap it up in my cape to keep it warm and the owner told me ‘thanks, but reptiles are cold-blooded so they don’t warm up like that.’” She pouted at Lena. “The owner was a ten year old.”
Lena bit back a smile. “So you’re trying to learn how to be a better superhero?”
She shrugged and bit her lip. “I just don’t want to mess up.”
Lena considered her for a moment. “You know, I happen to have degrees in a few different kinds of engineering. And I made everyone at L-corp, including myself, take a first aid course when I took over.”
Kara looked as though she was trying to contain her hopeful expression. It wasn’t working very well, although that probably wasn’t surprising since her motto was ‘hope, help, and compassion for all.’
Kara bounced on her toes excitedly. “Would you help?”
Lena grinned and gestured to the left with her head. “Come on, I know which desk is the best in the library.”
———
It became somewhat of a routine after that. Every Saturday, Lena would go to the library as normal, pick out a new cheesy romance novel for the week and some kind of thick science book to hide it underneath, and then meet Supergirl in the back corner of the library, at the desk hidden behind the spare computers from the 90s where no one would find them.
Kara would normally already be there, pouring over texts and making notes in coloured pens and highlighters. Lena had bought her a rainbow of folders and dividers for each of the aspects of superheroing she was trying to improve in, and they had spent one very unproductive but fun day labelling and decorating them. They were now covered in random doodles, squiggly multicoloured patterns, and stickers that Kara had found in a rotating rack by the front desk, immediately claiming were essential for her learning.
During the week, Lena would keep an eye on any news of Supergirl, getting some strange looks from Jess when she walked into her office to see Lena cheering as Kara did something they’d worked on together. At the weekend she would listen to Kara excitedly retell those same events until the librarian came over to shush them. She seemed to be the only person in National city that wasn’t completely charmed by Supergirl, and it always led to half an hour of Kara pouting and asking Lena why the librarian didn’t like her.
It was a few weeks before Lena got there first. She frowned, checking the surrounding isles of books for any caped figures but they were all empty as usual.
She sat at their desk and opened up the book she had randomly grabbed off a shelf, putting her latest romance novel inside it to covertly read. It was called ‘Lost and Found: A Love Story’, the back of it claiming it was about a woman who ‘drops her scarf at a train station but ends up finding something much more meaningful in the woman she bumps into at the lost and found.’ It was exactly as awful as it sounded.
Kara bounded up to the table about 20 minutes later, a coffee cup in each hand and a satchel slung over her shoulder that made her cape bunch up awkwardly. She beamed at Lena and set a coffee down in front of her.
“Guess what I just did.”
Lena slammed the books shut inside each other, scrambling to put her arms over them and rest her chin in her hand casually. “What?”
Kara either didn’t notice or didn’t care, rounding the desk and putting her bag down on it with a grin. “I laservisioned the supports of a broken crane back together using some metal from a billboard and now it’s totally fine for use again.”
Lena’s eyebrows rose. “What happened to the crane in the first place?”
Kara’s cheeks heated and she looked away, rubbing the back of her neck as she mumbled, “I may have flown into it a little bit.”
She scowled at Lena as Lena started laughing but it was undermined by the way her lips tugged up.
“Oh!” Kara lit up and started rifling through her bag. “I brought you this.”
She held out a book with a bright smile. Lena’s eyes widened as she looked down at the cover of what was very clearly another cheesy romance.
“It’s my favourite love story. It’s a bit like the one you’re reading at the moment but better, in my opinion. I thought you might like it.”
“What?” Lena scoffed. “I wasn’t reading a romance. I was reading…” she glanced over to check what book she had picked up, internally filling with regret as she read the title, but she had already committed to the facade. “The rhyming dictionary.”
Kara was very clearly trying not to laugh. “Ok. Well I’ll just leave this one here. And in case you didn’t know,” she leaned closer to Lena’s ear as she climbed into her seat, and whispered, “I have x-ray vision.”
Lena blushed, refusing to look at Kara’s smug grin. She cleared her throat and moved her books off to the side, along with the one Kara had put down, as casually as possible, and attempted to change the subject.
“So you remembered about weight distribution in support structures?”
Kara paused in taking folders and notes out her bag to turn to Lena excitedly, rambling on about her save, gesturing wildly with her hands.
Lena picked up her coffee as she listened with a soft smile, absentmindedly taking a sip.
She frowned down at the cup. “Is this my usual?”
Kara paused in her rambling. “Yeah. Does it not taste right?”
Lena shook her head, staring back down at her perfect coffee, cheeks heating at the heart drawn in latte art that Kara probably didn’t even have anything to do with. “No I just… I didn’t know you knew my order.”
Kara grinned, raising an eyebrow (Lena should never have taught her how to do that). “Perhaps you’re not as elusive as you think, Lena Luthor.”
———
Lena arrived at the library one Saturday to find Supergirl staring at the front doors like she might set light to them any moment.
“What’s wrong Supergirl? Lose a fight with a door handle?”
Kara turned to her with a pout, pointing at a sign hanging on the other side of the glass. It read ‘Library closed until 23rd due to water damage. Apologies for the inconvenience.’
Lena sighed.
“Where am I going to get my books for this week, Lena? I’m never going to understand civil engineering without them.”
Lena bit the inside of her cheek, the rational part of her brain at war with the part that was helpless to the superhero’s pout. It had to be one of her superpowers because Lena would never admit she was actually soft.
She tore her gaze away, trying to seem casual. “I actually have some engineering textbooks at my apartment. I guess you could borrow them if you wanted.”
Lena squeaked as Supergirl crushed her in a bear hug, lifting her a few inches off the ground. “Thank you thank you thank you!”
Lena laughed, trying to turn it inconspicuously into a cough when a passerby gave a slightly shocked and confused look at the sight of a Luthor and a Super laughing on the library steps. Kara dropped her back to her feet, stepping back with a sheepish smile.
“Sorry, I got excited.”
Lena shook her head with a smile. She turned to go but as she went to gesture for Kara to follow, her hand caught against Kara’s. Her brain misfired and decided in the split second where her index finger hooked onto Kara’s pinkie that the best course of action was to commit to it and simply hold hands. In an attempt to make it seem less affectionate and more practical, she walked off quickly, dragging Kara along in the direction of her apartment.
She could feel Kara’s smile like rays of sun behind her. At least her hair was down to cover up the heat that was creeping up the back of her neck.
Her apartment was only a few minutes from the library. She had to slap Kara’s hand away from the elevator buttons before she pressed them all, marveling at how many floors there were.
“So this is where you live?” Kara looked around the hallway, panicking when she snapped a leaf off of a decorative plant, while Lena unlocked the penthouse door.
Lena pretended not to see her discreetly dropping the leaf into the plant pot but raised an eyebrow at her. “No, Supergirl. I just decided we should come and stare at this random person’s door.”
Kara ignored her, walking past into her apartment and looking down at the city below through the large floor to ceiling windows. “Nice view. I should take you flying sometime - it’s even better from up in the clouds, especially at night.”
Lena closed the front door, trying not to think about romantic flights and being cradled in strong arms. “I’ll go get the textbooks.”
She moved towards her home office, Kara trailing behind in interest. The engineering textbooks were over in the left corner and she scanned the alphabetised section for the ones she wanted.
Kara ran her fingers over the spines of books until Lena was done. She smirked at Lena, letting her hand trail teasingly down the bookshelf before she left. Lena blushed as she realised why. Kara had found her fiction section, over half the books in which were very clearly a certain genre.
Lena groaned and followed her out.
They spent the entire afternoon on the floor around Lena’s coffee table, going through the textbooks, laughing over Kara’s constant puns, and eating the seemingly endless supply of snacks Kara produced from her bag. It wasn’t until the sun had started to set that Lena realised how long they’d spent simply telling jokes and stories.
It was alarmingly easy to just be around Kara. Strangely, Lena didn’t think she minded.
———
Lena frowned as someone knocked on her door. It was a Saturday morning and she was just about to leave to meet Supergirl at the library.
She only grew more confused as she opened the door to see a fluffy white cloud panting happily at her and squirming in her direction. A head poked out from behind it, looking just as happy.
“Lena, hi! Sorry to just turn up but the mean librarian lady threw me out because apparently you aren’t allowed to play fetch in the library.”
Lena stared at the woman currently holding a large puppy in front of her, familiar blonde curls pinned back and glasses slipping down her nose. “…Kara?”
Kara blinked at her for a moment before she seemed to realise. “Oh! Right. Sorry - this is what I look like normally. When I’m not being Supergirl I mean. Alex said I wasn’t allowed to wear the suit all the time because it had to be washed.”
Lena nodded slowly, trying to reconcile the image of this Kara with Supergirl and to not think too hard about the implications of Kara being comfortable enough around her to show her her civilian identity. “Right. Why do you have a dog?”
Kara lit up. “I saved an animal shelter from a fire and they let me adopt this guy. Isn’t he adorable?”
Lena looked at the matching faces of excitement. “Very cute. But why is he here?”
Kara shrugged. “Well I couldn’t leave him after I’d just adopted him so I thought he could join us for our study session?”
Lena crossed her arms and Kara pouted. It was somewhat undermined by the puppy licking her face and making her giggle but Lena was still helpless to resist.
“Ok but he better not mess up any of my stuff.”
“Yes!” Kara grinned, wiggling the puppy excitedly, his ears flopping about.
Kara kissed her cheek on her way into the apartment and Lena’s heart skipped a beat. The puppy licked her in an attempt to join in but even that didn’t stop the way her heart raced.
They settled on the couch, facing each other as Lena quizzed Kara with flashcards. The puppy alternated between curling up in Kara’s lap and zooming around Lena’s living room, falling over his own paws.
“Ok, last one. How do you treat a sprain?”
“Ice it with my freezebreath, wrap it so it’s compressed but not cutting off circulation, keep it elevated.”
Lena grinned proudly. “That’s it! Done.”
Kara threw her hands in the air in delight, squealing as she propelled herself forwards to tackle Lena to the couch. She pulled back just as quickly, pushing up to brace herself over Lena.
“Sorry. I got excited.”
All the breath had deserted Lena’s lungs and she stared up at Kara. A light flush rose on Kara’s cheeks, pale pink against the deep blue of her eyes, bringing out the freckles that dusted her skin.
The flashcards slipped from Lena’s grasp as she surged up to meet Kara’s lips. Kara’s arms almost buckled but she caught herself. And then she was kissing back.
Lena’s hands slid up Kara’s back, practically pulling Kara down on top of her.
They were both breathing hard when they pulled apart, eyes closed and foreheads rested together.
Kara was smiling softly down at her when she finally opened her eyes. She had shifted to hold herself up on one hand and one elbow, her free hand gently stroking back Lena’s hair.
She looked like she was about to say something when she did a double take over the armrest of the couch behind Lena and her soft look turned into a wince. “What was it you said about the puppy not messing up any of your stuff?”
I read a lot of scripts. A lot. From professionals to aspiring writers to complete newbies. Features and pilots. Specs and treatments.
And 8 times out of 10 the fan fic that I’ve read over the last, oh, 15 years is leagues better than this stuff. It’s more inspired. It’s more compelling. It’s genre bending and creative and heartfelt. It’s well-paced and intense and funny and sexy and meaningful. It’s smart and thoughtful and good. It’s novel-quality. Better than, sometimes.
Rare is the script I don’t want to put down, but how often have we stayed up until 3am to get to the last chapter of a 100k fic? And it’s not even a fan fic author’s day job. This is what they do on the side. In their spare time. For free.
So my point is, fan fic authors, you’re good. You’re good writers and great storytellers. I know it doesn’t always feel like it, especially if you’re one of the authors who’s not a BNF and doesn’t get the notes/hits that a few do. And because some people still view fic as “not real writing.” You guys know the shit that gets made into movies. You’re better than that. So be better than that. If writing is what you think want to do, then just know you’re already doing it. You’ve already started.
(I love your writing very much! Thank you for sharing!)
They do love their grand gestures. Dramatic saves, protective suits, rooms filled wall to wall with flowers, reasons why a Super and a Luthor becomes the synonym for power couple, instead of sworn enemies. They make history with them, after all.
But sometimes, it’s the little things. The ones that just happen, no forethought, no elaborate planning; things that come to them like second nature.
(Kara reaching out to rub the tensing muscles in Lena’s back before a big speech, Lena absent-mindedly smoothing out the tired crinkling of Kara’s brows with her thumb when Kara’s perched on the couch next to her, stuck on a tricky paragraph in her article. Kara handing a cup of coffee to Lena the second she pads out into the kitchen in the mornings, morose and still half-asleep, Lena turning the heat off under the pancakes that Kara was going to burn in another second. Kara always holding out her hand for Lena’s when they walk, and Lena already reaching to take it.)
–
Their first kiss happens like that, too, just another beat of life.
They’re in Lena’s office, another one of Kara’s just dropping by to say hi, and I bought some donuts too! visits, a ploy they both know is to make sure Lena takes a break and consumes something other than coffee during the day. Kara’s already saying goodbye – she really has to run, she’s expected back at CatCo, but they’re still holding onto each other, smiling, giddy with a sugar rush and the fake seriousness of Kara’s tone when she reminds Lena “it’s movie night, don’t be late” and the teasing in Lena’s voice when she replies “I wouldn’t dare”.
They don’t remember who initiates the kiss. It’s a small thing, feather-light, over in a second, something neither of them thinks about when they lean in to say goodbye. The moment doesn’t even register, at first, because it feels so natural, so right – it takes a frozen second of incredulous looks and did-that-really-happen for it to sink in. (Their second ever kiss, a stumbling, giggly, breathless affair that sweeps the table and ends on the couch, happens a minute later).
–
Their first public kiss is much the same.
It’s CatCo, this time, not L-Corp, Lena striding through the bullpen for a meeting with Andrea, but she stops by Kara’s desk on the way. Kara raises her head at the sound of Lena’s approach, then rises a little from her seat, beaming like she always does, a regular sight for the CatCo staff. But Lena only halts for a second now, cupping Kara’s cheek as she murmurs hello, darling and bends down for a quick peck. Then she’s already marching on towards Andrea’s office, not even breaking her stride, and Kara’s already back in her chair, a dreamy look on her face, maybe, but hard at work again, ignorant of the shocked murmurs around her. A blink-and-you’ll-miss-it moment.
The half of the bullpen who most certainly did not miss it has a terrible time trying to convince the others that dude, I’m not making it up, Lena freaking Luthor KISSED KARA really did happen on their average Tuesday afternoon.
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