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mykhalifa💛

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I Wish You Loved Me.

Maybe it was the procrastination. Maybe it was because of the days I wasted. Where I would stay in bed and cling to the bed covers, kinda like the way you used to cling to me. I miss you, it’s makes me laugh seeing you want more even if you couldn’t handle it.

I wish you loved me.

I never told you how scared I was to lose you. I treated every hug, and every kiss like it would be the last one. You was probably caught up on euphoria. I don’t think you realised that I only kissed you longer and only ever held you tighter because every time you leave it’s like I’m stuck in my loneliness again.

I wish you loved me.

You was ready to decipher what love meant. I thought it was you. I never knew how someone so beautiful could be so insecure. I’ll give you the reassurance you’ve been searching for. I’ll make you feel like the only one in the world. I gave you all of me. It actually made sick at times.

I wish you loved me.

All our love became was a battle for your affection. I give you all of me till there’s nothing left. Yeah, cool. Let me lust after you. Drain till I’m dry. Fill you up again. Let me keep you happy. Let me give you the world and lose my soul. I lost myself, I became depressed. If this is all love has to offer me, then it’s selfish. I don’t even want sex anymore. I want something more. I know what it’s like to be used. And that’s all you do to me.

I wish you loved me.

I wish you loved me the way I love you. I wish my existence meant more then just sex. I wish I didn’t have to become so drained I feel I need to die to be understood. I wish someone could mend all these lost parts of me. I wish I could be a better person. I wish I needed. I wish I was appreciated. I wish my wishes was God’s promise. At least they stand on a foundation that it’ll be okay eventually.

I wish my wishes came true.

But they did, when I fell in love with you.