love song for a vampire

get a load of this guy! joe, any pronouns, 25+ overdosing on fichtner cocaine

[myoldways]

the one theory/headcanon/erotic fantasy i fuck so heavily with (and will be killed with rocks for) is that lestat de lioncourt is jasper’s maker. like that’s mama. let’s get sickening with mama.

[astrumnal]

I may be vile and pernicious

But you can't look away

[dailynarnia]

is jake gyllenhaal gay??

why would you ask us, a narnia blog, this

[helloitsbees]

happy pride month to this post specifically

[oxypill]

does anyone know what to fucking do anymore

[myoldways]

not now, kitten, daddy's missing talamasca: the secret order

[pukicho]

Why are you like that?

I thought it was black mold but there wasn’t any black mold in my house, so I think I'm just like this

[myoldways]

reading the tale of the body thief and writing down the vampire lore for Various Purposes. buckle up girl we’re going to miami?

[pronouncingitwang]

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

[yokowan]

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

[le-jardin-inculte]

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

[shithowdy]

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

[whitachi]

at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.

[araceil]

At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.

[myoldways]

daddy was a hoarder: i have a very delicious username in my pocket and i keep eyeing it every five minutes asking myself whether i should go for it or not. anyway the username is guyanatole. do i go for it y/n

[targetedknowledge]

[myoldways]

lets escape the horrors together

[221berkeleysquare]

hi I have doomed billionaire yaoi for you again

[myoldways]

back to the neighbor posting. what makes it ten times worse for me is that i genuinely see myself in this guy. my autistic soulmate working from home doing all the housework. LAUNDRY….. Cooking. All that. Oh mama. i’m about to jump through the screen to get to him. wait for me wife the states are not so far. my heart hurts for you mike. we could be so good together in his wonderful little garden with tomatoes and stuff.

[toddsolondz]

destroying and betraying yourself for nothing all by yourself, handsome?

[myoldways]

out of all the fichtner films i’ve seen….. the neighbor is the worst please do not watch the neighbor this is for your own good. if you ever felt bad for an old man STAY AWAY. i’m a pretty empathetic guy with a huge hard on for bill fichtner and this movie ruined me. i keep thinking about it over and over and over!!! WHY was this movie made. i’m gonna be sick please take me out with a fucking gun!!!!!!!!!!

[myoldways]

i’m throwing up blood

[myoldways]

out of all the fichtner films i’ve seen….. the neighbor is the worst please do not watch the neighbor this is for your own good. if you ever felt bad for an old man STAY AWAY. i’m a pretty empathetic guy with a huge hard on for bill fichtner and this movie ruined me. i keep thinking about it over and over and over!!! WHY was this movie made. i’m gonna be sick please take me out with a fucking gun!!!!!!!!!!

[rasputinaillyanna]

[howfarweseek]

kiddo