I don't normally share experiences I have that involve the severe anxiety I suffer with but this instance needs to be expressed. Not so anyone can feel pity, but because I want to thank (again) the kind stranger, I failed to even ask their name due to my emotional mental state afterwards.
To understand what happened, I have to first explain that last night I was driving with my pup Willow to go visit my sister and her kids a couple of hours over. I had to stop at Walmart half-way there because I realized in my side tracking way of packing, that I forgot socks and underwear.
It was already dark and I was already stressed out for a lot of reasons but I decided I had to brave people to get those important articles of clothing. Willow was vested up and I figured in and out fast to get back on the road.
The self check out lines were packed and it was too many people in a single area for me to take, so went to the far side where one clerk register was open. There was a family ahead of me with a basket stacked full of groceries and only one other person behind me. I was fine with that so I waited for a good ten or so minutes.
Just before it was my turn, I started getting anxious for no reason and was even trying to reason with myself that there was no reason to feel that way when I was on the less populated side of the checkouts. That's when Willow decided she needed to take matters into her own paws by alerting and getting me to sit down so she could lay on me to apply DPS and to keep me from harmful scratching on my neck that I'm prone to blindly do in that state of severe anxiety.
With what little vocal capabilities I had before the attack hit in full and I tunneled out, I told the concerned clerk I would be ok, that it's ok for others to go first.
Then I rode out my attack with Willow dutifully focusing on her multiple tasks to keep me both safe from myself and help reduce my length of attack as much as she could.
By the end of it, I took an extra minute to compose myself so I could get through the embarrassing moments of assuring the clerk I was fine and to make my purchase---except when I got back to my feet, the clerk told me that the man that had been behind me, who had been guided around me to pay for his things, had bought my items.
It made me break down in tears. I thanked the clerk for her concern and patience and I took my leave, trying my best to stop crying. By the time I got out the doors and down to the aisle I parked, I was feeling a bit more put together.
I thought I was until I began walking past a man having himself a small smoke before he geared himself up to leave on his motorcycle. I paused, not sure if he was the one since I had glimpsed the person in line behind me just as I had gone into my attack---details of my surroundings get blurry and almost dreamlike, as if the things around me aren't real.
I built up the courage to ask that person if he was the one waiting in line behind and if he was the one that paid for me.
He nodded and admitted that it was him, and I went through another wave of tears as I thanked him and in another rare moment of courage, I asked if it was ok to give him a hug.
He said it was ok to and after a moment he mentioned he hadn't had a hug in so long. I got emotional all over again as I realized that I was helping him just as much as he had helped me. So I hugged him a little bit longer and I could have sworn I heard him take in a relieved thankful breath of air.
He asked if I would be ok.
I replied: Yes, it just happens like that sometimes.
He told me I had a very good dog to have with me and to take care. I told him to also take care and we parted ways.
I regret afterwards not asking his name, and likely we'll never cross paths again, but that moment we shared, the kindness and support, will stay with me forever.
To that stranger--where ever you may be--I hope more people will experience your kindness and give you more hugs I now understand you need in your own life. Thank you for what you've done for me as well.
I am still getting emotional over that event and will always be grateful. I was a stranger to you too, and yet you went out of your way to help me.
Just....Thank you so much.
prguitarman
dailybridgerton
gummygunk
yousharknotpass
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