My SocSci Blog

by Amanda Collantes Q07

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May 9, Thursday

I feel like it is really good that we have the opportunity to learn about the spectrums of gender and sexuality. I have supported the LGBTQ+ community for a very long time, and I always feel like I can learn more. It is good that it is tackled in an academic setting because the LGBTQ+ community and what characterizes the members of this community is something people need to be learning about. Our society has become more accepting of these gender expressions, sexual orientations, etc. that deviate from the traditional roles that we had begun getting used to. We are able to understand other better as well as understand the human person as a thing that cannot be described nor categorized simply. Study this and putting in the effort to know and understand gender, sex, and sexuality can be equated to studying and learning more about the person. It is through this coming to understand the person that we will be able to better navigate ourselves as well as the other members who make up the community and society.

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April 30, Tuesday

It is interesting to see how the individual begins to function amidst others once they reach adolescence. The adolescent begins to involve himself more with his friends in an attempt to widen his social sphere, for the social aspect of one’s life begins to prove to be very important during this stage of development. It can be observed that people tend to flock to certain groups wherein they will be able to find peers with whom they can relate and with whom they may share things in common. This is a sort of stereotypical understanding of friendships and group dynamics when it comes to teenagers. I was surprised, however, to find that the tendency of the typical adolescent to go about interacting and belonging in many different groups is an idea that was acknowledged directly. It is the sort of phenomenon that does occur in real life yet would not really be acknowledged or thought of until someone were to point it out to you directly.

I can see how this is true in the way that I experienced in when I was in grade 8. I had still been studying Woodrose, where I had spent my entire grade school life. I knew everyone in my batch and was accustomed to the divisions in our batch that made way for the various barkadas. I had been in a specific group with the same girls since grade 4, yet all of a sudden (to be fair, certain personal circumstances brought it about as well), I would no longer stay with that one group only. I began interacting with the other barkadas and forming more relationships with my other peers. This being able to go about interacting with different groups is an important part of one’s development. It allows one to discover more about oneself by placing oneself in situations that would demand varying things from him. From here, one may be able to determine what would make him feel most comfortable and in turn, find out the who they are when they feel most like themselves.

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April 25, Thursday

The concept of individuation is one that resonates with me. As I get older, especially now with my being in college, I find that I disagree with my mom when it comes to a lot of things. When I was younger, I would try my best to listen to her whenever she would tell me something and obey her when she instruct me. There are many times now when I cannot bring myself to agree with her completely because I do not seem to understand what it is she may want from me or what her motivation is behind certain things. This is not to say that I do not listen to her at all or that I actively try my best to be disagreeable and disobedient. It is just that I am not as ready to accept everything she tells me. I feel the necessity to question (not in a disrespectful, condescending way) her and what she may try to communicate. I do not blindly follow what she says because even if I know she probably has a good reason, she is also capable of making mistakes. There are certain things that she may not grasp fully, yet I understand in a fuller sense. I also trust in my own abilities and in my capacity to reason and rationalize. I have been able to realize that this is a normal part of getting older and usually occurs in this stage of life—the stage of life which I am currently finding myself in. Knowing this, what I can do now is to practice my agency and independence in a proper, prudent type of way while also making room to understand my mom and see her as a person in the same way that I am a person.

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April 11, Thursday

As the reading explains, the way we get to understand others and the way they get to understand us is based on what we express both consciously and unconsciously. This is how we get to gauge people in order to determine the most appropriate way of interacting with them. This is not only limited to their personalities but also in other aspects of their life such as social class, occupation, beliefs, and principles, etc.

In my personal experience, many people have told me that I give off the impression that I am scary or not approachable. There are many times when I may be unaware of how what I do affects and makes up the overall image of myself that is presented to those around me. The image people first have of me as being scary is actually an image that I have tried to give off. I like it when people tell me that they get surprised after having gotten to know me better because I am nicer than they thought. In a way, it also keeps too many from interacting with me since I do not enjoy the process of making new friends that much. I want people to be able to take me seriously earlier on when I begin developing new relationships with them because it would be more difficult to adjust that later on in a friendship or acquaintanceship. This is not to say that I try to be mean when meeting people for the first time. I just tend to keep to myself more and am less vocal. Overall, I am pleased with the impressions I give off and will continue to examine it when I can to ensure that I am not doing anything that would give off wrong, harmful ideas about myself.

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March 28, Thursday

In order to reach personal clarity it seems essential that I examine and consider the different types of identity that make up who I am. As was discussed in the reading as well as in class, there are different types of identity such as the ego identity, personal identity, and social identity. It is necessary for us to change and adapt depending on the situation we are in or whom we are with. We can see how we are affected by everything around us. This means that we have to be open to the different ways we may automatically end up reacting. Our self-conceptions are also affected by three components: the distribution of resources in a society, ideological belief systems, and one’s efficacious actions.

It is easy, however, to lose a sense of real identity because of the naturally occurring multiplicities of identity. Lately, I have seemed to have somewhat of an identity crisis. I am fully aware of the different versions of myself as well as what has influenced me in becoming the person I am. Much of the person I am affects how I choose to present myself (usually unconsciously). There are times, however, when I feel unsure of myself and of my presentation. Many instances, I feel displeased with the way I feel as though I come off. I think that I would prefer to be more soft-spoken, more demure, perhaps less confrontational. It is a source of insecurity for me because sometimes, I do not like the identities that I have made for myself. From what I have learned from the lesson, though, is that I can resolve to come to terms with the identities that I do have. I have to understand that I am a certain way because of what I am exposed to and what I allow myself to be affected by. There are aspects of myself that I should not worry about too much because they make up who I am. If I do not possess these, then I would not be the same person.

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March 19, Tuesday

Since it is natural for intergenerational patterns to appear, I am able to attribute certain aspects of my behavior to those of my parents or my relatives. For example, my dad has the tendency to get annoyed easily and when he gets angry, he is very vocal and tends to be aggressive. It has been said that the way I get mad is similar to the way my dad does as well. I get really loud and it is difficult for me to contain that anger. Close to that would also be the manner in which I communicate. I grew up and spent most of my life around my dad’s side of the family which, when I was still a child, was made up of my grandparents and my dad’s four female siblings. It is said that being loud and communicating in such a way that makes an individual seem irritated is common among those who are Collantes’s by blood. My tita’s husbands as well as my mom have commented on how listening to my lolo, my titas, my dad, and I talk makes them feel stressed out.

Another intergenerational pattern on my dad’s side of the family is the tendency for the male members to practice infidelity in their marriages. I have discussed this with my mom. My great-grandfather and his male siblings have all cheated on their wives. When my dad did the same to my mom, a remark that was made about it was how it was not that surprising that it had happened because of the history of infidelity among the men on his side. Even if this is a choice made by the individual, one cannot help but analyze the situation and see how its occurrence in the family may unconsciously affect how it is perceived. Because it happened so much with the other members of our family and there was really nothing done to correct it, it gives of the message that it is something that can be done and will be tolerated.

There are a number of other intergenerational patterns that do directly apply to me that I am not pleased with possessing. What I can do to help myself break these patterns is first, by recognizing what these patterns are and what is wrong with them. I have to come up with concrete ways to either stop them or substitute them by practicing something that would be more beneficial and constructive. In order to accomplish this, however, I have to practice a keen sense of awareness and mindfulness to recognize when I am falling into these undesirable patterns.

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March 7, Thursday

As much as who we are and how we act is due to decisions we actively make in our everyday lives, it is also important to understand that our childhood deeply affects us. Certain traumas may end up manifesting even later in life. I am able to point out many of the things that happened to me when I was younger and relate it to certain behaviors, habits, or attitudes that I have. There are, however, some things that I may be unaware of simply because I was too young to be able to remember or even be aware of it. If ever there are certain aspects of myself that I may not be able to fully comprehend or rationalize, these could probably be a link to my childhood. I have to treat myself in a kinder, more understanding way because there are really some things that I am not going to be able to understand, even about my own self.

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February 21, Thursday

During the class discussion I was able to find a new way of trying to manage my emotions. I have had depression and anxiety since I was young, and I stopped going to psychiatrist regularly a few years ago. Because of this, I end up having to handle a lot of my emotional issues and irregularities without professional help. Most of the time, I am able to control and understand my feelings. I have gotten used to my emotions and am able to anticipate any negative emotions that seem to be arising. However, there are instances when I am unable to handle intense emotions especially when I cannot seem to identify the reason or trigger behind it. This usually happens when I feel an excessive amount of stress or when I feel sad for no reason. For a long time, I have tried to think certain preventive measures I can take to stop these feelings from arising, but it can only be effective for so long a time. In a way, it also may not be the best idea or coping mechanism to try to avoid or suppress certain emotions that are natural, and even more likely to come about because of my depression and anxiety.

The new way of managing my emotions that was discussed in class has to do with mindfulness. I was also able to learn more about mindfulness and appreciate it in depth as opposed to just having an idea of what it is. This mindfulness is a type of procedure that will require me to identify the emotions I am feeling and to allow the feeling to pass. I should not be exerting effort in having to dwell on any emotion, be it negative or positive, because this would disrupt the natural rhythm of my emotional process as well as my thought process. It is right to foster any type of resentment or excessive desire for certain emotions because it may lead me to just feeling bad about myself when I cannot, for example, seem to get happy, or when I cannot make my feelings of sadness go away. Mindfulness is a sort of acquaintance with the fleeting emotions I have so as not to direct too much attention on things that are subject to constant, needed change.

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February 7, Thursday

The way we understand our memory and our experiences are interesting. Even if it is something I have been aware of, it is still surprising to be reminded of that our memory is not as reliable as we think and hope it is. The way we feel and experience the things going on around us really have an impact of how we look at the situation both at present as well as in the future. In something that is currently taking place, there is already the possibility that it is in the process of being misconstrued. It is like in how some of our beliefs are not really founded on correct or even existing evidence yet is still considered truth. Even something such as the peak-end-rule has the ability to greatly alter the way we perceive our experiences and, later on when they develop into it, our memories.

This can lead one to question what it means for us to know or understand. It’s easy to become confused and possibly even cynical about the way we approach the world and ourselves. One may feel a sense of despair as they wonder then if anything is ever actually as it appears to us or what kind of role we have in all of this if our understanding is one that is not capable of error but just inaccurate at all times. Perhaps, what we should be focusing on instead is how our perception may benefit us by allowing us to have control over what happens to us. It allows us to develop our System 2 through which we are able to deliberate in our way of assessing certain situations and experiences and by making these more meaningful through an alert kind of reflection.