My Chameleon Soul @mysoulchameleon - Tumblr Blog

Under the Guise of Nonconformity

He said, "I don't believe in valentine's day or Christmas. I don't even like celebrating birthdays. They're all so commercialised. They have no meaning." I said, "Well, Chairman Mao. Some Cheese with that Whine? Or would that be too extravagant?"

#lovers #selfish #selfishes #poetry

Fade Into You

I said, "I love you." He replied, "I don't believe you." I became a lesbian. There are some battles you just can't win. She would never tell me that. At least I think so.

#love #broken hearts #destiny

WHY WOMEN MUST LEARN HOW TO SWAGGER

Swagger - to walk or behave in a confident and typically arrogant or aggressive manner. Let's do a quick mental exercise. Think of ten women in your social circle. Now picture them clearly in your mind's eye; how they walk, move and hold themselves in public. We women have got a range of walks and postures as varied as we are but few of them communicate confidence. We mince our steps like little mice sneaking food or in our case privileges. We shuffle like that freed nigger who's been on the receiving end of a fist one too many times. We look down as if we're perpetually looking for our identity. We hunch over and cross our hands to hide our glorious breasts from the gawking uncouth male gaze. We cover our mouths when we laugh because ladies are expected to titter not produce loud joyous sounds full of vitality. We soften our tones in the presence of men because their egos are glass chandeliers waiting for the final decibel to shatter. We keep our legs snapped together because we learn early in life that the sweetness we hide between is currency with a designated male trustee. I could go on ad nauseum. My point is that we learn to be self effacing. We learn to paint our stories in pastels so that they can be perfect backdrops for the more colorful existence of others. This is partly why we still have so few women seated at the table. The worst of it is that we perpetuate this injustice amongst ourselves. We are the first to shush, knock down, deprecate and ignore. This is why need to learn how to swagger. To toot our own horn. To rejoice in our own fabulousness even when we've just woken up with bed hair, morning breath and mismatched pyjamas. Though we ignore it, our body informs a majority of our decisions in life. This is why smiling frequently makes you mentally happier. This is a call to action. Swagger! Stand up tall, shoulders back, chin held high and LOOK PEOPLE IN THE EYE DAMMIT! Walk with long confident strides, give firm handshakes, express differing opinion, go out on a limb. Take a chance, for crying out loud! It starts with a bold step This will influence the way you look at yourself and feel about the wonderful woman you are. That's what counts most. However, don't forget that people will buy whatever you're putting out there if you're confident enough about it and that includes your flawed and perfect self. Love yourself first. After all every other person will learn to love you from the example you give.

#love yourself #love your life #self love #swagger

hi dear. any blogs? would love to read. Why read ndutas blog in the loo?? ha ha ha

I've been writing a bit on my tumblr. On and off really. Why would I be reading on the can? Well, don't you take some light reading when you're going number 2? I always do 😅

On a serious note

He said he liked bananas, “They fulfill a deficiency in me.”

“Yes for all things phallic.” I replied

“No! No, I didn’t mean it like that!”

I winked.

#owned #burn #homophilia #homophobia #love #jokes #pun

Friendship as good as sex and other drugs.

Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art… it has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which gives value to survival. ~ C.S. Lewis

It was one of those weeks; lonely and depressing. I had been dragging my body around, like a broken limb, from errand to errand. Barely present, a husk of a person. I was looking out of the bars on my window, contemplating a second cigarette when my phone rang. The only thing I hate more than phone calls is Skype calls because then, the caller can actually see how awkward and reluctant I actually am to take the call. This particular caller was one of my best friends from my younger, less troubled times. Perhaps those times were not less troubled so much as blanketed under the comfort of sex and other drugs.

I answered the phone. It was a one hour long phone call in which we dissected and vented over two months worth of life. That’s when we had last spoken, 60 days prior to the phone call. Sometimes I think that a sure sign of a good friendship, is that you can pick up right where you left off, no matter how long the interval. The phone call spawned two visits and a sleep over; new wallpaper to cover the rot and decay underneath.

I was looking out the window, my view of the dusty road and occasional car partitioned by cream coloured steel bars. I felt better. I didn’t need that first cigarette at all. More significantly, I didn’t need to get back to the chatting. The Whatsapp thread had been going for a week, nonstop. Wakeup, tap-tap, eat, tap-tap, chores, tap-tap, shower, tap-tap, switch off the lights, tap-tap, tap-tap, sleep and repeat. I didn’t need to discuss a possible sexual rendezvous with a man of dubious character. I no longer needed the solace, meagre though it was, of an inchoate virtual relationship with a man whose vital organs were otherwise engaged but whose genitals were angling towards me. I was content.

The rare experience of contentment got me thinking. I had forgotten the value of a true friend. I am so plugged in to apps and sites and information and alerts and work that I’m not really connected to anyone. Friendship needs to be cultivated. It needs time spent together for the seed of affection to germinate. It needs care and fertilizer in the form of favours, conversation and silence shared. It becomes that evergreen on the lonely road. When I am weary of this world and its struggles, I sit under the tree and enjoy its shelter from the scorching abrasiveness of this world. I sample its succulent fruit and quench my thirst for companionship. I climb up, lie in the branches and find again the strength to hit the road.

My mentor once told me that it takes 1000 hours to form a friendship.

Let’s do some math:

If in one busy week you get 3 hours with your friend,

1000 / 3 = 333.3 weeks

There are about 52 weeks in a year. If you need 333 weeks,

333.3 / 52 = 6.4 years

You need to know someone for approximately six ACTIVE years.

I like to tell people that I have only four friends. I am little stingy when it comes to assigning that designation and with good reason considering the math.

I’m on the clock are you?

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#love #self love #friendship #cs lewis #cigarettes #angst

How about me not blaming you for everything How about me enjoying the moment for once How about how good it feels to finally forget you How about no longer being masochistic How about remembering your divinity How about 20 years since the the jagged little pill How about 10 mattresses left behind How about 5 years of nauseating-undecided-lukewarm-no-pressure-over-cappucino psychic weather How about 2 souls inseparably grafted joining you How about 1 who is not allowed who is Uninvited

#love #poetry #alanis morissette #jagged little pill #chameleon soul

Verbal Foreplay

He wanted to run his fingers through my hair. I said, right sentiment wrong continent.

#African Stories #africa #love #nappyafro #dreads

The crutch that is men, books and instagram

Coming in stronger than ever is the fourth year of this mind fuck. If you are not in any kind of mental funk then you're a liar or delusional or an angel. Hah! Back to the mind fuck. Instead of analysing, self-diagnosing and treating it like any self aware, over informed woman of the 21st century would, I ignore and evade. It's a tactic commonly deployed by politicians under scrutiny. Also rogue pastors. My tools of trade are of course men, books and instagram. I confess I am a book whore. I read ANYTHING. Well except self help books which are too preachy for a self respecting chameleon adept at evasive manoeuvres. I read all night and grouch all day. For the record, I'm not the other kind of whore, with men that is. Two reasons. All genitals are weird and strangers' genitals are both weird and gross. Second reason is that it's too much work. I've got to shut down my brain during the whole hunt-feed process or else I will be nagged by my conscience. Worse still the guy could turn to be an arrogant bore or an airhead or both!!! 😨 in which case I'd have to shut down both brain and face just so he doesn't know just how terrible he really is at "conversating". (You know sex starts in the mind right?) So what I mean by men being an escape is the aspect of wistfully longing for the unattainables , nostalgia for past conquests and frantic texting with men who you know will never get past the potential stage. Instagram and largely social media is to placate any anxiety I might feel about compartmentalising. I play a game called "Spot the poser". It's fantastic! And we all know them. Posting a picture of a run of the mill flower while the location at the top surreptitiously reads 'Villa Rosa'. Ahem... dude, we know you were doing deliveries, don't front! Or better yet, a photo of food tagged "Great hanging out with the girls." As in wedding committee meeting for your stingy cousin that you don't even like. Posers just make me feel better about myself. Much as I am evasive, at least I'm an honest grouch about not slaying my demons. On the subject of posers how about this for ridiculous " Oh! Hi my dear! What is your name?" Really?!!

#social media #instagram #books #men #mental #self love

visual-poetry

by alejandro diaz

[via]

mysoulchameleon

Would be great on a tee!!

#slogans #fashion

On Motherhood

She said, "I'm very happy today. You've been a good mommy. Good job!" And a butterfly kiss on the cheek. I might as well have won the Nobel peace prize.

#Motherhood #love

Husband hunting hunger games

Wife material hunger games

Because we all be playing games

Multiple players some without names

More like thirst games

Because Niggas out here be thirsty

Talking about girl, I love that you’re artsy and witty

More like you love the art that is my pussy

More like I love what you do to my pussy

More like I love how you do me

More like you love how chill I be