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I like to write sometimes

[mysparetime24]

Chicken Strip I Am

A poem I wrote when I was a freshman in highschool.

I am a chicken strip not to burnt not too crispy

Just right though not that pretty

I am a chicken strip not too young not too old

Just right though not that bold

I am a chicken strip not too cold not too hot

Just right though I must have forgot

I am a chicken strip no matter the cost

I am a chicken strip no matter the loss

I am a chicken strip and that's just fine

For chicken strips are divine

[red-shameless]

Presenting to you my writing cycle

[mysparetime24]

NEVER ENDING 😭

[mysparetime24]

Two Twin Hearts 💞

A short story about memory, music, and a love that didn't know its name. Inspired by the song Thirteen by Electric Youth.

It was 11pm on a Friday night, yet here I was at home alone. Laying on my bed staring up at the ceiling.

Most people my age are probably out doing something, with someone.

Maybe it's something productive like furthering their career, studying, or just feeling like they belong with some of their friends.

I don't mind not doing any of those things. Maybe I should? But I can't bring myself to.

I remember what it feels like to care. I remember caring about a lot of things.

I wonder when that all stopped?

My body felt empty, tired, my eyes barely open.

I pulled my phone out and I opened up my music app to feel something.

Anything really.

All of my liked songs  didn't reach out to me. I knew every lyric and every feeling those songs would stir in me. I need something new. Something different.

Then I saw a saved song I hadn't listened to. 

Thirteen by Electric youth.

It was the last song I'd seen her post.

Before I blocked her.

I hit play.

As the song began I couldn't tell if it was the calm melody or the possibility of being close to her once again that calmed me. 

The lyrics began soft but loaded,

"Two twin hearts, stop and start..."

They dragged her to the front line of my mind.

I used to know her so well. I could tell you how she tied her shoes, the way her left eye would squint a little when she was confused.

We were the best of friends.

But friends never felt strong enough.

Friends was to simple, too plain.

We were more.

How much more?

I couldn't tell you but if I let myself, maybe I could.

We'd spent our teenage years together.

I shared everything with her. She shared everything with me.

She held me every time I cried. I remember the way she'd comb her fingers through my hair to make me feel better.

Every Sunday she would help me pick what dress to wear to church.

“Still catch my eye, make me forget what to say…”

My breathing hitched as I thought of that night. 

The night where I changed everything. 

We were out on her trampoline looking up at the night sky talking about anything that came to mind.

The trees bristled in the warm summer breeze, there really weren't even any stars out. 

Clouds covering most of them, but it was just some excuse I'd use to be closer to her. 

“Didn't see it coming when you cut so deep...”

A familiar silence fell between us, one that made me feel comfortable. 

I had turned my face to look at her, it was just supposed to be a glance really, but she was already staring at me.

Our eyes met and I remember the way my breath caught in my throat. The warmth rising in my face.

A feeling I'd felt around her more than just a few times.

My body tensed when her eyes drifted to my lips, my fingers flickering for hers. 

I knew what she was going to do. 

I knew what was happening.

I didn't pull away.

I…wanted it.

“Baby 

Don't you,

Turn your back on our love, that's true…”

Of course, I abruptly pulled away. 

I still remember the way her eyes widened.

The confusion on her face…the longing.

It was all too much.

This wasn't supposed to happen.

I wasn't supposed to…

“Giving up on what's meant to be?...”

I ran.

I didn't look back, I didn't say anything, didn't let her speak.

I even remember hearing her call out to me. 

Not dramatically, just softly her voice cracking a little at the last syllable.

I didn't stop running till I got home, the muscles in my legs twitched, my throat hurt.

I was gasping for air, my eyes burning as I fell to the ground. 

I didn't feel what I was told to feel. 

It was the complete opposite of what I was told to feel.

Nothing felt wrong, not physically at least.

I never saw her again.

 I told my parents what happened, not what I felt.

Just what she did…

I got sent to live with my grandmother.

I thought I did the right thing. 

What I needed to finally fix me.

I don't think I've felt something since that night.

Nothing has come close.

The memories, forever in my mind. 

That's the only place she lives now. 

I lifted my hand up to wipe my eyes, it trembling as it made its way to my already damp cheek.

“Throw away all that we've been through..”

 My stomach dropped as I heard the softly spoken lyrics.

She didn't….but I did.

I ruined something before I even let it become something.

No it was something, just not what it could have been. 

Tears poured down my face, I felt the droplets falling onto my hair. 

My chest ached…I don't think it's stopped aching.

But I like it…it reminds me it was real.

The song was coming to an end and My lips mouthed the ending,

“Two feel hearts since we're seventeen..”

I closed my eyes as the song ended and my fingers hit replay.